


Kings Reign

by idratherhaveyou



Category: Captive Prince
Genre: Canon Compliant, Damen is still a precious cupcake, Ending Slavery, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Laurent is still an asshole, M/M, Mentions of Auguste, Past Abuse, Post-Kings Rising
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-05-23 01:18:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 191,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6100126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idratherhaveyou/pseuds/idratherhaveyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Directly following the events of Kings Rising.  Damen is on bed rest and Laurent is taking care of him.  What follows is their story and the story of two kingdoms becoming one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters should be posted on a weekly basis. Maybe sooner if I'm really on a roll. I've really enjoyed writing this so far so I really hope you enjoy reading it. I would love love love any comments you can give me about anything. Praise (I particularly love these), OOC moments (Laurent is so fucking hard to write), things you want to see in the future, etc. Also, this chapter is incredibly fluffy but I promise you it doesn't always stay that way...if that's a good thing.

Damen blinked groggily, the soft afternoon sun streaming in from the window just above the bed. He was used to waking up in strange beds these days, but, lately, he was not used to waking up without Laurent by his side.

_I’ll be here when you wake. Rest._

But the chair next to the bed was empty. It shouldn’t have surprised Damen. Laurent would say anything, do anything, to get what he wanted and that had been the only thing he could’ve said to get Damen to shut his eyes. At that thought, Damen smiled. Laurent had wanted him to rest, to get better, and that was a far cry from months ago in Arles, when his back had been stripped bare. Damen delicately picked his way through the memory of Laurent finding him on the slave bath floor, avoiding the images of Kastor, and focused on the way those slender hands had fluttered over his body, the pure joy in those usually cool eyes when they had discussed the future of joining Vere and Akielos into one kingdom. The notion sounded utterly impossible, even now, and yet, with Laurent, he knew it was possible.

There was a glass of water on the wooden bedside table. Damen shoved off the plain white sheets shackling his body and attempted to sit up. His lower abdomen throbbed but he pushed through the pain as his hand touched the cool glass.

"You’re awake,” a familiar voice said and Damen turned towards the sound to see Laurent at the far end of the infirmary—the cleared infirmary, Damen now noticed—sitting at a large desk strewn with papers. Ink stained the pads of his fingers and his hair was slightly mussed. It was difficult to pinpoint the last time he’d slept. However, he did look clean and he was no longer in the chiton, but back in stiff Veretian clothing.

Laurent stood, passing his fingers through his hair—announcing the return of his immaculate presentation—and walked across the room. Without a word, he removed the glass from Damen’s hand and set it back on the table. “You really should not be moving,” he said.

“You’re working,” Damen replied.

Laurent glanced back at the desk. “Yes. There’s lots that has to be done. The world can’t wait on you, Damianos.”

“No, but apparently you can,” Damen grinned. “You didn’t leave.”

“No.” Laurent sat in the chair and then, carefully, only a small flush giving his hesitancy away, curled his fingers in between Damen’s. “I wasn’t sure that…I couldn’t.”

“How long have I been asleep?” Damen asked, using his forearms to raise himself up to lean against the wall.

A hand pressed against his sternum and cool blue eyes stopped his movements in their tracks.

“Stop trying to sit up. Paschal said I should make sure you stay horizontal.”

“I’m fine.”

“Fine. Kastor stabbed you in the stomach and you’re fine. I think I’ll decide whether you’re fine or not.” He slowly shoved Damen back down. “Good boy,” Laurent smiled, the corners barely cricking up. “Now, I believe you wanted some water.” He picked up the water glass and then paused, considering the situation in the way he sometimes did.

“You’re going to try and tip that into my mouth? You’ll spill. This would really be much easier if you let me sit up.”

“I could use my fingers to drip the water into your mouth,” Laurent said.

“That’s a great idea.”

“Do you have a better one?”

“Yes. You let me sit up. I promise you I can handle it.”

“But…oh, alright.” Laurent set the cup back down on the bedside table and helped Damen into a upright position. His hands were gentle and thoughtfully placed. Instead of reaching for the glass again, like he was supposed to, Damen hooked his hand around Laurent’s neck before he could escape and kissed him once, sweetly.Only then did he turn his attention back to the water.

“Thank you,” he smiled.

Laurent was very still. “Is this…is this what it is like?”

“What?”

“Being with you?”

“It was just a kiss, Laurent.” Laurent flushed again. It was becoming a common occurrence and one that Damen found himself anticipating and looking forward to in the way he used to anticipate Laurent’s stillness, the soft tremors of muscle when Damen ran his fingers across his skin. The flush confused him until remembered the words the Regent uttered at the Kingsmeet.

_He has knelt for me._

Damen didn’t know the extent of the abuse or what it entailed.All he knew for sure was that a sick man had used the emotional fragility of his own nephew to his advantage. A wave of anger shuddered through Damen and he almost stood in his need to throw something, swing a sword, anything really. Kisses in thanks, kisses of awe and adoration, kisses of welcome, these were all things Laurent was entirely unused to and not something he would ever hope to expect. A relationship built on the exchange of pleasure.

Questions were bubbling on the tips of his lips but seeing the look in Laurent’s eyes, he tucked them away. This wasn’t the time or the place.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he said instead. “How long have I been asleep?” He took a sip of the water.

“A couple of days.” After a moment, “Nikandros stopped by. I think he was impressed at my devotion.”

“Give him some time.”

Laurent said nothing in return. Each topic of conversation they touched on brought them away from each other and into reality. Damen didn’t really want to be there, but he’d been asleep for a long time and Laurent was right. The world didn’t wait on him. There were things to discuss, people to convince, papers to signs, kingdoms to merge.

“Is there anything I can do to help you…”

Laurent shook his head. “Stop. You need to rest. Besides, I don’t want to talk about any of that.”

Damen smiled. He raised one of his hands and brought it to Laurent’s cheek, brushing the bone underneath with his thumb. “I’d look at you instead, then.”

Laurent was breathing shallowly and sat unmoving, his thoughts warring. Slowly, he released the tension and leaned into the touch. He lifted his own hand and covered Damen’s. “I’ve missed you,” Laurent whispered.

“You look tired,” Damen replied.

“I’ve been busy.”

There was a muffled noise from the doorway and Paschal shuffled in. “Don’t listen to him, Your Highness, he’s hardly left your side for a moment. The trouble is getting him to move so I can redress your wound.”

Damen raised his eyebrows at Laurent, who showed no emotion. He simply stood, removing Damen’s hand from his face, and stepped back towards the end of the bed. Paschal began unwinding the strip of cloth wrapped around Damen’s bare chest.

Laurent said, “Why don’t you tell him how he really is, Paschal?”

The bandages were gone and Paschal was gently prodding at the wound. “It’s tender. You still need the stitches and you really shouldn’t be sitting up like this. The process of doing so might tear the wound open. At least be careful.”

“When will I be able to leave bed?”

“Not for another week, at least.”

Damen grimaced at the thought and looked up to see a smug smile on Laurent’s face. Paschal wound a fresh bandage around Damen and then made to leave. Grabbing his wrist, Damen stopped him and said, “Thank you. For everything.”

“You’re welcome,” Paschal smiled. “It was my pleasure. Truly.” Then he left.

“You did…”

“Yes. I’ve properly thanked him. Anything he wants. Unsurprisingly, there isn’t a whole lot he does want.”

“But…”

“Damen, I can be a reasonable person. I promise, it’s taken care of. One of the many things I’ve taken care of while you’ve been indisposed.”

“It didn’t sound like you were taking care of anything besides me,” Damen teased.

“Paschal is hardly ever in here.”

Damen extended his hand. “Come back here.”

Laurent returned to the chair and curled his fingers back into Damen’s. There was a comfortable silence as they both watched their fingers slide and reframe themselves around each other’s. Finally, Laurent said, “Tell me something.”

“What?”

“Why?” Another pause. “Why did you come? I…everything was planned. Akielos was yours, our entire force was yours, and yet you came back alone with no plan, just an insane notion there was something you could do.”

“I wouldn’t say I had no plan…”

“So your plan was to get captured, be put on trial beside me, throw your life in with mine and give a heartfelt plea to the Council about how turned you were by a simple fuck.”

“That is not fair.”

“I…” Laurent turned his head away and sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. But it doesn’t change the fact that it’s what they believed. And the rest…even I couldn’t foresee the outcome.” His eyes were still focused away from Damen’s when he finished. Damen tried not to think about the abuse again, what it had done to Laurent, tried to tamper down the simmering anger, and used two fingers to direct Laurent’s attention back to him. He wanted Laurent to see his eyes when he said this.

“I couldn’t leave you to face your uncle. I told you that you weren’t alone and I meant it. If there was even the smallest chance I could make it in time…I had to try. That future we talk about? I want that. I want it so much it hurts. Whenever I think about it, small pangs gather deep in my chest, stealing my breath. I could’ve had all of Akielos, but I wouldn’t have had you. I didn’t even have to think about it, Laurent, it wasn’t a choice.”

The last words struck something in Laurent, Damen could sense it in the way his fingers stilled. The stillness dissipated, however, and Damen decided to barrel ahead. They were on the topic after all. “Let’s talk about why you didn’t tell me what was going to happen at the Kingsmeet.”

“Because you wouldn’t have let me go. And then we both would’ve lost.”

“It wasn’t worth your life.”

“That’s not for you to decide.”

Damen groaned. He didn’t particularly feel like arguing. “Promise me you will never do that again.” The minute Damen said it, he realized it was something Laurent could never promise him. It was a piece of leverage, a desperate one, but still useable, and if the right circumstances arose Laurent wouldn’t hesitate to use it again. No words needed to be exchanged. They both understood. 

“You should go back to sleep,” Laurent said, finally. “The more you rest, the sooner you’re out of this bed.”

“That’s very convincing.”

“I’ve heard I am.”

“I’m not all that tired.”

“Would you like me to tell you a bedtime story?” It came out of Laurent’s mouth sounding deprecating, but Damen’s heart swelled and his stomach warmed at the thought. Something about Auguste. Something from when Laurent was happy, undamaged and innocent, young and bookish.

“Yes. Tell me a memory that makes you happy.”

The corner of Laurent’s mouth turned up and he shook his head. “This is interesting.”

“What?”

“I’m discovering that I’m having a hard time denying you things. Maybe it’s because you’re in this bed, helpless.”

“I’m far from helpless,” Damen said. He sat up as quickly as felt safe and tugged Laurent from the chair, setting him down on the edge of the bed. “I could do any number of things to you right now.”

“Could you?” Laurent’s eyebrows went up and all of the air in the room rushed into the space between them, charged. Laurent leaned in and kissed him, open-mouthed, but slowly and without earnestness. Damen wound his arms around Laurent’s waist and pulled him as tight against his chest as he could manage in the awkward positioning. He gasped into Laurent’s mouth when their bodies collided against his knife wound and Laurent laughed quietly, pulling away. “I don’t think I want to be the one who tears those stitches. A happy memory, you say? Let me think.”

He didn’t move back to the chair and Damen happily lay back and watched Laurent’s passive face. Nothing particularly interesting was happening on it, but the profile was pleasant, and his lips and cheeks were slightly flushed from the kiss. It was very distracting.

A small, wistful smile crept onto Laurent’s face and he began in soft tones, “Once, when I was very young, eight or nine, Auguste lifted me onto his shoulders and ran all over Arles, through the gardens, in and out of rooms, even into a council meeting, shouting, ‘Where’s Laurent? Where’s my brother?’ at every single person we encountered. He was searching for our father and when we finally found him, Auguste stopped running. He took theses big gulps of air very dramatically and said, ‘Father, I’ve lost Laurent. I’ve searched everywhere. I simply can’t train today until I find him. And there’s no question of him attending his lessons, since he can’t be found.’ My father smiled, which was a rare thing, and said, ‘Whatever are we to do?’ while staring right at me.” Damen smiled when Laurent shifted his voice lower, attempting to imitate his father. It was open and playful and he could almost see the memory in Laurent’s eyes. “I was laughing helplessly by then and Auguste was having a harder time keeping both of us steady.

“I don’t remember what was said after that, except that Father released us from our lessons for the day and we went riding together instead, out to this small creek in the Great Northern Forests and I read to him in the shade until the sun was setting.”

"What did you read to him?”

Laurent stared at him condescendingly. “I have an excellent mind, Damen, but it’s not that excellent.”

Damen laughed. To his delight, he realized he was finding everything funny, everything made him smile, and hearing his childhood nickname leave Laurent’s lips had not yet lost it’s charm. He was blissfully happy and he could tell that Laurent was too. A small miracle.

Their lips found each other’s again and Damen brought his hand to the nape of Laurent’s neck and tugged at the soft hair there. A groan, hardly louder than a breath, escaped Laurent and before Damen even knew what was happening, Laurent was straddling him in the bed, entirely clothed, as was becoming habit, and running his hands down Damen’s chest, across his nipples. He carefully avoided the stab wound. Damen didn’t know how he was managing it, containing anything. He certainly couldn’t think.

Laurent pulled inches away, their breaths matching, and murmured, “You’re very distracting when you’re awake.” Then he completely removed himself from the bed and strolled an infuriatingly large distance away, leaving Damen breathless and wanting. A wry smile was on his lips and without a backward glance he returned to his desk and one of the many pieces of business he had to attend to. “Go back to sleep, Damen,” he said, scratching out something on the parchment.

“You make it sound so easy,” Damen grumbled under his breath. He shut his eyes to Laurent’s quiet laughter and then listened to the sinuous sounds of writing, the evidence Laurent was here and alive and with him, as he waited for sleep to come.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD. I AM MIND BLOWN. Seriously...you guys are incredible. I did not expect this kind of response at all and I love all of you for it, so so much. Many of my days this week have been made because of you. So, I thought I'd reward you by posting the next chapter a little early.
> 
> Seriously...what in the hell?
> 
> Okay, I can move on. Um, let's see, reviews are always appreciated, again, anything at all. Also, my tumblr username is itsthegameilike if you ever want to hit me up with questions or whatever. I'm always on tumblr so...
> 
> Alright, I'm done. Lots of love. Hope you enjoy the chapter. It's a good one.

Damen woke to a touch on his shoulder.

“I thought I was resting,” he grumbled sleepily, in Akielon, when he saw who it was that had woken him.

“I need you to sign something," Laurent answered in Akielon, which Damen found incredibly thoughtful.Usually their conversations happened in Veretian.It was the default language of their relationship.Damen thought that he wouldn’t mind more conversations to take place in his language, so he didn’t divert to Veretian, like he perhaps would’ve naturally.

“And this seemed like a good time?”

“It is for me.Here.”Laurent didn’t miss a beat, the Akielon flowing from him easily.A small thrill shot through Damen at the idea of never stopping, of catching Laurent in a word he didn’t know.Laurent shoved a piece of paper and a quill in front of Damen.Damen gazed blearily at the words.There were a lot of them and he didn’t feel like reading.He felt like sleeping.He couldn’t help admiring Laurent’s handwriting, though, which really was beautiful in a very Veretian way.All loops and slants and needless ornamentation.

“Care to tell me what I’m signing?”

“Don’t you trust me?”

Damen rolled his eyes.“Of course I do, Laurent.”

Laurent’s eyes were fixed on Damen’s and they were saying, “Then, sign.”Damen picked up the quill and scribbled his name beside Laurent’s.“Okay, now tell me what I signed.”

“In the morning.Sleep.”

“You’re the one who should be sleeping.It’s the middle of the night.”

“I’m fine.”

“I think maybe if you get to decide whether I’m fine or not, I should get to decide the same for you.”

His response was met with a tense silence.Damen sighed.“Laurent, I know there’s a lot to do and I know that you’re doing it alone, because that’s what you’re used to doing.I know you’re determined to pamper me, but I want us to be a team.I watch your back, you watch mine, which means you listen to me when I say you need sleep and you tell me what the hell I’m signing when I sign it.”

“A team.”

“Yes.Heard the word before?”

“I…of course.”A pause.“It’s a letter to the members of the Veretian Council.I’ve sent them back to Arles already to handle affairs while I’m here with you.Essentially, it’s an explanation they’re to provide to the court as to what happened here and what’s about to happen.I’m having you sign it because you and I both are Kings of Vere.”

“And we’re letting them know that?”

“We have to start somewhere.”

“But…”

“I have the means to threaten every member of the Council and most of the court,” Laurent interrupted.“It won’t leave Arles and when I return I’ll smooth everything over.Trust me, they like their positions and their pets.Besides, I think it’s likely the Council will keep the information to themselves, despite my wishes.They’ll want to talk me out of it.”

“Laurent, it’s not something we can just tell people.Our two nations still want to tear each other to pieces.Just because they can’t have a sanctioned war doesn’t mean they still don’t want one.”

“I know.”

“Then I don’t…”

“Because I am in control of these people, Damen.We are going to need them on our side when everyone knows that King Damianos and King Laurent, one having been not too recently the slave of the other, want Vere and Akielos to become one.Especially those who have a large role in the governing of my country.

“This is not going to be easy.It’s going to be violent and brutal and people are going to get angry.We have to build from the ground up, quietly, without disturbance, so that when it finally happens, our people won’t even be aware anything has changed.For that to happen, the powerful people of both our countries have to be willing to help.”

“Won’t even be aware?  Are you serious?”

Laurent huffed, brow furrowed, and sat down on the edge of Damen’s bed. “I don’t know how to…I haven’t had to explain my thoughts to this extent before.I’m sorry if I’m not very good at it.Of course they’ll be aware.But if I…if we…do it this way, the chance for violence will be much less than if we walked out onto the balcony here in Ios right this moment and announced to the world what we intended.”

Damen pondered his words and then said, “You can threaten all of them?”

Laurent smiled without amusement.“Yes.”

“I don’t like it.It would be better if we were there.”

“It would.But you’re not wrong.Our countries are still on the brink of war and we have to move quickly.”

Damen felt as though he was removing his right arm when he said, “Then leave with your letter.Go to Arles.I’ll join you when I can.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Would you go if I wasn’t lying here in this bed?”

“That is not a fair question, Damen.”

“It is.You’re not thinking clearly.Because of me.”

Laurent’s eyes met Damen’s and Damen was shocked by what he saw there.Helplessness.Damen tried to imagine what Laurent was thinking.He’d spent years fighting a mind game with his uncle, one he almost lost because of Damen, and now he was fighting another war, this time for Damen, and he could lose now out of concern for Damen.There was too much Damen in the equation and it was possible Laurent didn’t know how to remedy it, didn’t want to.Quiet, shy words burst into Damen’s thoughts.“What about the week in the summer palace you promised me?” Laurent said.

Damen’s heart leapt.He touched the back of Laurent’s hand and said, “We will, I promise.But not right now.It’s not just us.It’s never been just us.”

“Why can’t they leave us be?” Laurent whispered, burying his face into Damen’s shoulder.The next words came muffled.“We both almost died.I almost lost you.”There was a long silence, Laurent’s lips and shallow breaths warming Damen’s skin.Damen shifted gently, so as not to disturb Laurent, and brought his hand up to stroke the soft blonde hair.Slowly, gently.Then, “I almost lost you and now you’re asking me to leave.I want…”There was a shift in energy at those words and Damen waited patiently through the silence.He felt it would be worth it, however much he wanted to speak.“I want time…with you.”

Now, Damen’s heart was fluttering in a way similar to when he’d been young and easily swayed by the attentions of a pretty girl.“There are things we both need to take care of first,” Damen murmured, trying not to sound utterly charmed.“You need to go home and I need to bury Kastor.It’s likely they’ll wish to coronate me as well and while I’m lying in this bed I can work on convincing Nikandros of our plan, which might be easier if you aren’t here placing scathing remarks and reminding him I’ve sucked your cock.”

A short laugh and then a kiss pressed to the shoulder.It was sweet and shocking.If Damen had been doing anything besides lying on a bed, he would’ve been startled into a mistake.

Laurent sat up and stared Damen down, “Don’t rip those stitches.No sword fighting and no leaving this bed until Pashcal says so.”

“Are we really doing this?” Damen asked.

“What?”

“Joining Akielos and Vere?”

“Yes.”Laurent leaned down and kissed Damen, chastely, chasing all thought from his head, and then stood.“If this is the plan, there are things we need to talk about.Would you like to sleep first?”

“Are you going to sleep?”

Laurent pondered that for a moment and then shook his head.“I’ve been…having trouble sleeping.” 

It was an unbidden comment, a piece of information Laurent didn’t have to admit.It concerned Damen, but the concern was struggling with another feeling: one of a dizzying fall that’s avoided only moments before crashing into the ground by discovering unknown wings. 

“Then I don’t need to sleep.”

Laurent smiled and pulled over the chair from his desk.“Alright then, lover.Where to begin?”

For over two hours, Laurent laid out their entire situation the way he saw it.He discussed creating an economic dependency between the two states, ideas he had for placating the border, timelines for events, strategic places to send their forces in case of an uprising, things to mention to Nikandros, when he would invite Makedon for the hunt he’d promised, tentative thoughts about outlawing slavery, and quite a bit more.Damen listened intently, only interjecting with a question occasionally, and once, surprising Laurent into silence with a kiss to the inside of his wrist.By the end, a sort of plan had formed, one that didn’t keep them separated for long, to Damen’s relief.

When that was done, Laurent asked questions about Akielos.An endless string of them.Questions about the climate, foods, clothing changes, slaves, government structures, anything he could think of.Damen did his best to recall every little detail he could, knowing it would help Laurent when the time came.

Then there was a knock on the door, interrupting a long-winded explanation of what Akielons really thought about the Veretian people; how deeply ingrained the prejudice was.It wasn’t hard to recall, some of the prejudices still just as fresh and real for Damen, despite everything.

“Enter,” Laurent said, interrupting Damen mid-word.

Nikandros and Jord walked in side by side, shooting each other unpleasant glances every other step.

And then they both started speaking at the same time, one addressing Damen, the other addressing Laurent.

Jord turned to Nikandros and said, “I thought we agreed that I was…”

“I changed my mind,” Nikandros interjected.“Last time I checked we’re in Akielos, not Vere.Damianos is the king.Just because…”

“Oh, I’m sorry if…”Damen was surprised their words managed to make up a conversation, because they were shouting over each other in separate languages.They were relying entirely on tone.He wondered briefly how they'd even managed to come to a sort of agreement before entering the room.It had likely involved a fair amount of pointing and gesticulating.

“Do shut up,” Laurent said.“What is it?”Damen tried not to laugh.

Jord grumbled to himself as he waved his hand in a gesture for Nikandros to continue.Nikandros met Damen’s eyes and said, “There’s been a Veretian attack on the border.It’s been handled but…”

“Why?” Laurent asked.

Nikandros swallowed the rest of his words and reluctantly addressed his next words to Laurent.“Apparently, there’s some confusion as to why the King of Vere hasn’t returned home.Something about Akielos holding him hostage, even a few whispering that King Damianos took him as a slave to return the favor.As if that’s something an Akielon would do.”

“You are the country with slaves,” Laurent pointed out dryly.

“Why are you still here?” Nikandros asked.Jord lifted his head at the tone of voice, his eyes mutinous.As the entire conversation was taking place in Akielon, Jord couldn’t know what had really been said, but Nikandros’s tone could’ve suggested any number of things, some of them incredibly crude.

“I expect you to treat Laurent with respect, my friend,” Damen said, his voice deep, asserting his command.There was a brief struggle in Nikandros’s eyes, before he bowed his head.Damen carefully watched everyone in the room, feeling like he was in the middle of three warring suns.He was beginning to understand Laurent’s concerns.

“I’m here,” Laurent said, “Because I’m quite fond of…”

“Laurent,” Damen growled.“Don’t make it harder than it needs to be.”

He pouted playfully.“But I’m having fun.”

Nikandros raised his head and gazed at Laurent like he had just encountered a snake that could smile.Damen was grinning helplessly.There really was no getting used to Laurent.Now, Nikandros was staring at Damen the exact same way.

“I think he’s beginning to understand,” Laurent said.“This is truly fascinating.Do you think he’ll throw something?Try to kill me?”

“How about we talk about the attack,” Damen said, “Have the kyroi retaliated?” he asked Jord in Veretian.Jord was the only one in the room not on the verge of doing something stupid.Jord shook his head.“No.I assume you’d prefer if they didn’t?”

“I would.”

“Then you should send Nikandros to the border to ensure it doesn’t happen.”

Damen nodded thoughtfully.At the sound of his name, Nikandros stopped glancing back and forth between Damen and Laurent and said, “What did he say?Why did he say my name?”

“He was offering advice.”

“And you’re listening?May I speak freely, Exalted?”

“Please do,” Laurent said, leaning back against Damen’s knees, which were raised in a triangle.

“I…” Nikandros shifted his eyes to Laurent.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared of me now.” 

At those words, Nikandros continued with slow molten rage in his eyes.“Exalted, Akielos is yours.While we…appreciate what the Veretians have done to help, it’s time to send them home.There’s nothing more we need from them.Everyone is aware of Kastor’s betrayal.Your ascendancy isn’t contested among…”

“You’re welcome,” Laurent interrupted.Damen slapped his arm.Laurent stilled and then slapped him back.Damen was grinning again and Nikandros looked to be on the verge of throwing his hands into the air and storming out.

“Laurent and his army are going home,” Damen said.

“Oh,” Nikandros murmured.Damen could tell he was relieved and his dread at telling Nikandros what was really happening deepened considerably.

“That hardly seems fair to him, Damen,” Laurent said.Before Damen could get a word in edgewise, “After all, I already am home.”

Goddammit Laurent.“This would’ve been better to do while you were gone, like I suggested.”

“I know, but I wanted to see his face.”Laurent was still having fun.It was captivating.Damen hadn’t understood until now that angering people on purpose was Laurent’s version of cracking a joke.Nor had he understood that Laurent found enjoyment in deciphering people's reactions and gleaning their characteristics from them.Part of it was likely directly related to his need for skills of that nature in order to survive his uncle’s court.When he’d been honing them, it was probably easier to imagine it as a fun game instead of a necessary adaptation.If you were an irritating wasp at an outdoor feast, people were bound to try and swat you away.

“What is he talking about, Damen?”

“Laurent, is it possible…”

Laurent was on the verge of laughter but he nodded and stood, motioning to Jord.He was about to exit the room, but then turned back and kissed Damen long and slow, with deliberation.He winked at Nikandros on the way out.Damen’s lips were warm and a smile was lingering on the corners.Right when the door closed, Nikandros whisked over to the chair Laurent had been occupying earlier in the evening and clasped Damen’s hand, his fingernails clacking on the golden cuff.Nikandros gave it a brief forlorn stare, before remembering his original purpose.“Please tell me what I think is happening is not happening.”

“That depends on what you think is happening.”

“Damen…”

Damen sighed, averting his eyes for a second to gather his thoughts, before saying, “If you mean Laurent and I, yes.”

“I’ll admit he’s beautiful and he’s got a brilliant mind, but, Damen, he flayed your back to pieces.You were his slave.He left us at Charcy to fend for ourselves.”Damen tried to protest at that, but Nikandros held up his hand, “Please let me finish, my friend.I don’t know what happened at the Kingsmeet or what happened afterwards, not the full extent of it, but whatever happened was not the plan as I understood it and I suspect that has everything to do with him.He’s manipulative, ruthless, dishonorable.He’ll tear down our world to get what he wants.”

“He wants me.”

“How can you possibly know that for sure?”

“Because I do.”Nikandros opened his mouth, but this time Damen held up his hand.“No.I’ve heard enough.I not only know those things, but I lived through them.I was the one who stood on that whipping post, waiting for my life to end and I don’t need you to remind me what that was like.All you need to understand is that I have nothing left.No family.Nothing, except him and all that I owe to him.I’m falling in love with him, Nikandros.Him and his beautiful, perplexing mind.”

“This country can’t survive another Jokaste,” Nikandros murmured.

“It can’t survive another Regent,” Damen countered.Then, with only a second’s thought, he launched into the story, the story he should’ve told Nikandros from the beginning.He went into every detail, no matter how embarrassing or harsh.He talked about the assassination attempt, saving Laurent’s life, Laurent fighting to the edge of exhaustion for Damen’s life at the risk of his own.He talked about Nesson, the wheeling stars, the chase across rooftops.He talked about long nights spent in tents discussing battle tactics, drinking water, not wine.His voice was getting raspier as he moved onto the sword fight at Marlas, the night their relationship tipped over from it’s knife point; the revelation of a possible son, what feelings that had stirred in him, Laurent comforting him; the letter from Jokaste left in the caravan Laurent had released her from.The only thing he left out was the abuse, simply explaining the disaster at the Kingsmeet as a dishonorable goading by the Regent.It was not his secret to tell.And Damen had a very strong instinct that Laurent did not want anybody to know.They hadn’t even managed to address it themselves.

Nikandros released a whoosh of breath when Damen finished and said, “Okay.I’m not sure I fully comprehend, but I…what happens now?”

“Vere and Akielos become one.”

There was a burst of laughter that was quickly stifled and chained, as Nikandros saw the hard, unmoving lines of Damen’s face.The laughter was replaced with wide-eyed shock and horror.“You can’t,” finally came, unbidden, barely louder than a breath.

“No, I can’t.But Laurent can and I’m going to help him.”

“No, I mean…oh, Damen.Why do you have to be you?”A long pause followed, where Nikandros stared at his oldest friend with grudging admiration and love.“What happens if it falls apart?What do you do then?”

He thought about asking for clarification to the question, but he knew exactly what Nikandros was insinuating.In the flurry of events, in the bliss of defeating the Regent and winning Laurent—his shy smiles and genuine laughter—the thought had never really occurred to him.It hadn’t seemed to matter.They had been given a now they might not have had and the only part of the now that mattered was that they were together.

However, it didn’t scare Damen, not in the way Nikandros had intended.He knew Laurent had thought of it—of course he had—and that he hadn’t abandoned the path they were heading down. 

“Whatever happens will happen.”

“I’d think of something more convincing.The people will expect nothing less.But I’m with you, Damen, as I always will be, whatever level of stupidity you take me to.Akielons and Veretians will get along if I have anything to say about it.”

Damen lifted his eyebrows.

“Starting with me,” Nikandros said.He stood and walked to the door.Words were exchanged and then Laurent and Jord were back in the room with them.Laurent didn’t pause in his steps as he returned to his seat against Damen’s legs. 

“He looks determined.What did you tell him?”

“The truth,” Damen said.

“You Akielons are very strange.”

Nikandros was standing across from Jord.He looked back at Laurent for a moment, pondering something, but then dismissed it.Moments later, it became obvious he’d been embarrassed of talking in front of Laurent, because he began to speak incredibly halted and butchered Veretian; nothing near what Damen was capable of.Jord blinked at him in surprise, but when the surprise wore off, he began to fill in words to the best of his ability.Nikandros returned the favor.Neither one was receiving the entire message, but it was a conversation.Then Nikandros extended his hand and Jord took it.

“I don’t know how you do it, my honorable barbarian,” Laurent said in Akielon.

Nikandros bristled at the words, turning from Jord in an instant.“What did you call him?”

Laurent stared him down with cool blue eyes.Damen didn’t envy Nikandros that stare.He’d weathered it many times himself.

A long drawn out silence and then a short, stunted bow.“I beg your forgiveness, Exalted.”

“Nikandros, Jord,” Laurent began, “Go to the site of the attack and ease tension.Take as many men as you wish and remain on the border.You are a diplomatic force.War is not desired among Akielos and Vere.Let it be known.”

Nikandros glanced at Damen.“Do as he says.Leave in the morning,” Damen said.

Laurent remained settled against Damen’s knees, even when everyone had departed.His head was tilted back slightly and Damen watched his pulse flutter underneath the light skin, watched as it picked up it’s pace when he ran two fingers down Laurent’s palm.He never wanted to lose this.

Damen withdrew his hand, but Laurent’s chased his all the way across the sheets, until they were flush together once more.“What is it?” he asked.

“What happens if…if we, I mean, if this doesn’t end well?” Damen managed to force out.He uttered the words quickly, wishing them gone from his brain.He didn’t want an answer from Laurent, not really, he just wanted the thought to no longer plague him.Out in the open like this, it could be shared silently between them, easing the weight.

“Then I take you apart, piece by piece.”Laurent said it simply, flatly, and Damen thought that when he met Laurent’s eyes they were going to be cold, a familiar friend that accompanied words like those.But they weren’t.They were roiling with emotion, mostly terror.Utter terror, something Damen hadn’t recognized in Laurent’s eyes when he’d seen Laurent looking at him lying on the floor of the baths.If sacrifice was kingship, then terror was love.They were both hanging out on the edge of a cliff.For Damen, the sensation was much more familiar, but he could tell, for Laurent, it was altogether foreign.All of the rules to his game had changed.

“I could never do that to you,” Damen murmured.

“No.And that’s the difference between you and I.You’re all of the honor in me.If I lost you, there’d be none left.”

“Is this — us, a bad idea?”

“It always was,” Laurent said, “But I find I have a hard time caring.Kiss me, Damen.”

_Don’t think._ Perhaps that was the answer.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I continue to be in awe. Is this even real?  
> I don't have a whole lot to say other than thank you so much for all the beautiful reviews. I'm not sure I deserve them, but I love them.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much as the previous ones. Originally, I had an entire chapter without Laurent in it at all, but I did some rearranging and I hope this works better. It did result in a slightly longer chapter.

When Damen woke the next morning, there was no sign of Laurent, none of his warmth pressed against his body. The desk was empty, the papers were gone, and the chair had been moved back against the wall on the far side of the room.Damen recalled the day in Ravenel when he’d woken to a similar situation.He remembered Jord’s words.

_Not the type for goodbyes._

Damen glanced out the window.The sun had barely risen; he couldn’t have left yet.Damen flung the white sheets from his body and carefully rose from the bed, using the bedside table as support when he needed it.He swayed slightly when he stood, but his feet felt firm beneath him and his wound was only aching slightly.It would be slow going, but he could move.There was no way in hell he was letting Laurent leave without saying goodbye.Especially since it was unsure when they would see each other again.

He opened the heavy wooden door leading out of the infirmary and headed to the left, towards the courtyard.Damen wasn’t sure where Laurent would be at this moment, but at some point he would have to make his way there and Damen was going to be waiting.

A hand clutched his arm.

Damen whirled to find one of Laurent’s personal guard gripping him.“His Highness said you might attempt something like this.He told me to tell you that if he found you out of bed there would be hell to pay.”

“Let go of me,” Damen growled.

“I can’t.Please return to bed, Your Highness.”

“You will let go of me.I can deal with Laurent.Don’t worry about yourself.”Then Damen wrenched his arm free.The guard considered protesting, but when he saw Damen’s hands curl into fists, he cowered and did nothing further to stop Damen.

Damen was grumbling to himself as he wandered the halls, using the wall as support.That Laurent even thought he could pull something like this now was infuriating.Servants stayed clear of Damen, casting wary glances as he passed.Even his own men weren’t sure what to do or say so they kept walking.Then Lazar found him and was brave enough to approach. 

“You look like you’re about to pass out, Your Highness.”

“I’m fine.”

“Can I help you get wherever you’re going?”

“No.”

Lazar grinned and slapped him hard on the shoulder, recognizing and admiring a warrior-like toughness.Then a flash of awkwardness passed through his eyes as he remembered they were no longer comrades in arms, but king and subject.Damen waved away the worry and said, “So…how’s Pallas?”It was a lame attempt to ease the awkwardness even further, but Lazar took up the new topic of conversation with gusto.

He flashed a grin and wiggled his eyebrows, “He’s excellent.Turns out he’s not just good at games.The things he can do with his tongue are simply sinful.You Akielons aren’t completely uncivilized after all.”

“That’s good to hear,” Damen said.He knew he sounded incredibly distracted and he almost felt sorry about it.Lazar was a good man, a good warrior. “You haven’t seen Laurent have you?”

Lazar shook his head.“But he hasn’t left.I hope.”

“You hope.”

“It’s a joke, Your Highness.The horses are being prepared.I’m actually on my way to say goodbye to Pallas as we speak, if you know what I mean.”Another eyebrow waggle.

Damen nodded to Lazar, groaning inwardly at his lack of information, and continued on his way.Slowly.Painstakingly slow.Even Lazar could manage a goodbye, to someone he’d only known for a brief moment and a few fucks, no less.

The stab wound was a few steps from throbbing now and Damen found himself occasionally clutching the spot as he walked.After those few steps, he was perpetually clutching it.Visualizing the picture he made right now, Damen began preparing himself for the lecture he was about to receive.Why did Laurent have to be so trying?

He entered the expansive courtyard, ringed with walls of white marble stones that glowed in the sunlight.There was no sign of Laurent, so Damen walked across the courtyard and out through a massive archway, a quiet outdoor hall, and then another archway to a set of gardens.There were numerous couples strolling through them and Damen made his way silently down the paths, wondering what Laurent’s favorite color was.He’d have to ask sometime. 

In lieu of Laurent’s favorite color, Damen eventually settled on a collection of light blue flowers that reminded him of Laurent’s eyes and plucked them from the stem.A single flower became a small bouquet and he smiled into them, hoping they would be enough of a surprise to startle Laurent out of his lecture.He looped his arms behind his back, flowers in hand, then traveled back to the courtyard and gratefully collapsed on a low wall bordering one of the outdoor hallways.He glanced down at his chiton and was happy to see there was no visible bleeding yet.At least Laurent wouldn’t be able to complain about that.

The moment the blonde hair was hit by the sun, it caught Damen’s eye.Laurent was leading his horse into the courtyard, followed by his men, leading their own horses.He mounted and waited patiently for the portcullis to rise.Damen stood and began hobbling over.He wasn’t sure he would make it before they rode out, but he was sure Laurent would be on watch for him, judging by the guard he’d placed in front of the infirmary.And, honestly, he was counting on the fact that a large man hobbling in the courtyard would draw the eye.

Thankfully and unsurprisingly, Laurent spotted him and their eyes locked.   Damen was too far away to see the expression clearly on his face, but Laurent did murmur something to Enguerran, who was beside him, and then dismounted, patting his horse’s neck gently.Then he was coming over, his face blooming into focus.It was emotionless, controlled.

They met each other half way and Laurent was on the verge of speaking when Damen brought the flowers out from behind his back in a whoosh.He held them out for Laurent and was ridiculously pleased to see that he had predicted the reaction correctly.Laurent’s mouth hung open slightly and the words of whatever scintillating lecture he’d thought up were stalled.

“You left without saying goodbye,” Damen murmured.Laurent said nothing, but did take the flowers from Damen’s grasp and stare down at them.

“They are beautiful,” Laurent admitted.He continued to stare at them.“Slightly impractical to carry while I’m riding, however.”

“It’s more about the gesture.”

Laurent flushed lightly, still not meeting Damen’s eyes.He chose to continue gazing at the flowers, one finger delicately stroking the petals.The horses in the courtyard were whinnying, anxious to leave, and Damen knew he didn’t have a whole lot of time.

“I’m not mad,” he whispered.

Laurent flicked his eyes up incredulously, his body tense.

“Okay, maybe I'm a little mad.Jord mentioned once that you were not fond of goodbyes, but I thought…”It was difficult to continue with Laurent looking at him like that; willing the words out, as though Damen weren’t even the one coming up with them.

“You and I were enough,” Laurent finished.That hadn’t been exactly what Damen was going to say, but it was essentially correct.He nodded and then waited, the unspoken question floating between them, along with the flickering image of a dead man who had almost stolen two kingdoms from beneath them. 

When it appeared Laurent wasn’t going to continue, Damen voiced the question aloud.“Why can’t you say goodbye?”His stomach was gurgling unpleasantly as he waited for an answer.These were the kinds of questions that were dangerous to ask someone like Laurent. He—and those like him—offered information when they were ready, when they found it advantageous, not the other way around.

“I said goodbye to my father and brother once.They never came back.”There was a pause as Laurent picked his way through the words, “And all I could remember was Auguste kneeling before me, promising he’d return with victory and when he didn’t, all I knew was that I would’ve traded all of Vere, including Marlas, to have him with me and alive.”

The Regent was hanging over them like a particularly nebulous cloud now.

“But I’m not going anywhere,” Damen said, resting his hand on Laurent’s cheek, sweeping his fingers up through the fringes of his hair.Then he kissed him.Once.“I’m not going anywhere, Laurent.I’m here now and I’ll be with you in Vere.Nothing could ever keep me away.Not my people, not this damn knife wound, nothing.

“There was a moment, that night in Ravenel, when I asked myself a question.A kingdom or this.I didn’t know the answer then.I didn’t know the answer until the moment you were gone and I was left with a kingdom.I picked you…and however unwise it is, I will continue to pick you.

“I don’t know,” Damen stopped, unsure he wanted the conversation to turn in the direction he was turning it.He knew he must appear wary, but Laurent was still standing there, waiting, even though Damen could see an impulse to flee living in the set of his mouth.“I don’t know the extent of what the Regent did to you.”Laurent was incredibly tense now and Damen could almost see him building the walls back up around himself, walls that he never fully put up around Damen anymore.  Damen couldn’t bear watching them go up now, so he said, hurriedly, “And I don’t ever need to know.Not if you don’t want me to.What I do know is that whatever it was, it isolated you, made you feel as though you didn’t deserve anything beyond what he forced on you…which is why I think you’re less than confident I’ll actually come to you.All I have in response to that is, when haven’t I?Even when you’d cruelly managed to wrench my heart in two and force me into a political union I wasn’t fond of, I still wanted to be there for you, because, Laurent…”Damen’s heart was beating incredibly fast now.He felt young again, stumbling and unconfident, nothing he’d ever felt with Jokaste.Damen had been so self-assured and fearless with her; borderline arrogant.He’d already told Nikandros, but for some reason, telling Laurent with his stone face and impervious eyes was almost impossible.

“Don’t,” Laurent whispered.“Don’t, Damen.I need to go.I’ll expect you in Arles.”

Damen felt dismissed, in a very similar way to the one word commands he’d been used to as Laurent’s slave.Disobeying him now felt strange, but he had to. “No.You need to hear this.I was falling in love with you, Laurent, and I still am.I’m sorry if it scares you, but it’s true.”

Laurent didn’t say a word, but reached up for Damen’s neck, lifting himself on to the tips of his toes to kiss him precisely and intensely.His tongue brushed lightly against Damen’s bottom lip as a warning, right before he bit down on it lightly, to Damen’s extreme surprise.Then he pulled away.Hungrily, Damen followed and Laurent allowed one more lingering kiss before he retreated a step or two away, breathing hard.“You’re making it very…difficult to leave.”

“I’m not sorry.”Not even remotely, if he got kissed like that.

“I know,” Laurent smiled grimly.

“The next time you leave, you say goodbye.”

“Alright.”

Laurent’s eyes had trailed down to the place where Damen’s knife wound was and stopped there.He extended a hand as though to brush it gently, wish it better.Instead, he dug a fingernail into the edges of it.The blood that had managed to stay put began welling against the fabric of his chiton and Damen gasped, a shooting pain passing through his body.“I’d go get your bandages changed if I were you,” Laurent said.

“You’re a bastard.”

“Yes.But one you’re falling in love with.”Damen knew Laurent meant it to sound like a playful jeer, but there was a softness to the tone that didn’t escape his notice.Another flush, obvious against light skin, and then Laurent said, “Goodbye, Damen.”The words dripped with hundreds of meanings and Damen hardly felt the pain of his wound in light of his reaction to those words.Then, “Don’t be too long.”

Damen’s stomach fluttered and a slow grin grew.He brought Laurent forward, flush against his body, and let his hands fall to Laurent’s lower back, encircling it.It was like hugging a tree trunk for a moment, but then Laurent relaxed, leaning heavily on Damen and winding his arms around Damen’s waist.Damen bent his head, brushing his nose through Laurent’s hair, inhaling the familiar scent.Then he titled Laurent’s chin up slightly and kissed his forehead.“Goodbye, Laurent.”With a conscious effort, he released him.

Laurent walked away, still carrying the light blue flowers, which were now slightly smushed. Damen watched him go and, for a moment, he thought Laurent was going to mount his horse and leave without a single glance backward or even a wave.Laurent mounted his horse, placing the flowers in one of his saddlebags.As he shouted, “Move out!” he turned in his saddle for a brief moment and met Damen’s eyes.

Damen raised a hand and watched as all of the Veretians in Akielos left.All except one.Laurent would’ve left Paschal, entrusting no one else to care for Damen, happy to act as if Akielos didn’t have perfectly sufficient physicians of their own.If it wasn’t so incredibly Laurent, it likely would’ve irked Damen.

 

 

——

 

 

With Laurent gone, Damen wasn’t sure what to do.His wound was bleeding lightly now, so he decided to do what was asked of him and return to his bed; the awful bed that had already held him prisoner too long.What Damen really wanted was to swing a sword, walk in the gardens, handle the things he needed to handle as King.The sooner they were handled, the sooner he was back with Laurent.

He already missed him, judging by the low, constant ache worming its way into a permanent place in his chest.

Paschal came to see him later in the evening with food.He changed the bandages, giving Damen one or two disapproving looks as he did, and made sure Damen was in a safe sitting position while he ate.

Then Paschal left and Damen was alone.He spent a couple of hours trying to read a book and another half an hour wondering why nobody was coming to talk to him.There were things people should’ve been addressing to him, like when Kastor was to be buried or when his coronation was going to take place.There would be people looking to swear their loyalty and people who simply wished to see their King alive and well.

It was probably Laurent’s fault he was lying in a bed with nothing to do.He didn’t handle doing nothing very well.It reminded him a lot of those days in Laurent’s harem where he stared at ornamented walls and nursed sore limbs.Back when he was chained to a wall.

And similarly to that time, he realized sleep was the only way to avoid the simmering restlessness.He called for the guards to fetch Paschal, whom he asked for something to help him sleep, which he was given with little argument.

 

 

The next couple of days crept by.People brought Damen food and water and he sat in the bed and waited for them to do so.Paschal was the only person who he had actual conversations with, but none lasted nearly long enough, as Paschal strongly believed in rest as the best way to heal.Uninterrupted rest.

Then, one day, Paschal came in and smiled.

“I think, Your Highness, that I’m going to allow you to leave bed.”

Damen sat up abruptly, flinging the sheets away, and bounded over to Paschal.He wanted to sweep him up in a hug, but remembered himself before he did, instead choosing to nod serenely, a gesture his father, Theomedes, had made him perfect.Paschal’s eyes were laughing and he motioned for Damen to proceed him out of the door.

Damen strolled down the halls on his way to his room, nodding at passersby, with a small skip to his step. 

When he reached his room—his father’s old room—he was completely bombarded just outside the door.Advisors were asking questions and making suggestions, guards were searching for orders, and a couple of squires were waiting to serve.Damen was pleased to see someone had remembered his directive about slaves. 

He raised his hand and the noise stopped.Damen strode into the room, took a brief moment to glance at the billowing transparent curtains on open windows, the large well-made bed with expensive cream sheets, the low slung couches, the wooden table piled with food, before he waved in the people milling outside.They situated themselves comfortably on the couches and Damen offered them some of the food on his table.Some didn’t accept, but most did, and Damen stared at the stream of faces as they collected a portion of food.He recognized most, but none he knew well enough to engage in a personal conversation.That is, until, towards the end of the room, he spotted Nikandros.A wave of relief rushed through him.He walked over, extending his hand, and pulled Nikandros into a brief hug.

“Why aren’t you on the border?”

“I left Jord in charge.Once it had settled down, I headed back immediately.I knew you’d want me to be here when you were better.You never excelled at handling the overwhelming alone.”

“Don’t assume like that again,” Damen said, feeling like it was something he had to say, “but I am grateful.So…you trusted Jord with that much responsibility?”He shot Nikandros raised eyebrows and a grin.

“You trust him.That’s enough for me.”

Damen kept smiling, knowing that wasn’t true in the slightest, especially where Veretians were concerned. Nikandros sighed and said, “Fine.Yes.I trust him.He grew on me during the ride.”

“You two are very similar.”

Nikandros said nothing to that, but tilted his head towards the string of people chattering lightly among each other, indicating that, right now, they were more important than discussing his personal feelings about Jord.Damen lifted his shoulders and nodded, allowing Nikandros to direct the proceedings.

It was long, but it wasn’t painful.Damen set his coronation for the next day, tonight was for laying Kastor to rest, and the advisors and guards were informed of their orders.He barely changed the every day running of the kingdom from the way his father had done it.The best news of the day was when he was informed that no one had heard of any rebel armies seeking the opportunity to rise.The most uncomfortable moment had come when Damen had to carefully circumnavigate discussions of heirs and brides to secure his rule.Everyone left, though, once those questions had been appropriately silenced.Nikandros and Damen then retreated to the training fields and Damen lost himself in battering blows and swift footwork.Nikandros had never been a match for him and wasn’t now, but it was harder than usual.The strain on his muscles was more pronounced, his breathing became labored more quickly, and he had to avoid any jabs aimed at his knife wound.If only Laurent was here.He would’ve shored up that side without a word spoken.Nonetheless, holding a sword in his hand and getting sweaty from exertion was nice and familiar.

When that was done, he hosted a dinner for the court and advisors, drinking lightly and enjoying the company of Akielons.The conversation was rowdy and straightforward.Damen mostly just sat and listened, letting it all sink in.He was home.Really and truly.

And yet, when he glanced around at the dark laughing faces, the simple furniture, and Nikandros at his side, it wasn’t at all how he’d imagined he would feel.The sharp, bright presence that was Laurent was a notable absence and Damen even found himself missing some of the excesses of Veretian society.The ornamentation, at least, had been beautiful.Looking around at everything he had gained, Damen only felt sadness and a nagging sense that he didn’t quite belong here anymore.

It was especially noticeable when his eyes snagged on the slaves serving their masters.It wasn’t bothering anyone, like it hadn’t used to bother him, but now it only set his teeth on edge.None of these slaves were being treated the way Laurent had treated him and yet, Damen recalled how wrong being enslaved had felt, how it had grated against every fiber of his being.Even the simple act of washing a body clean had been too much.It couldn’t be black and white for the slaves here either, however well they managed to make it seem so.

As the evening progressed, the hall began to mellow.Usually, that wasn’t the case but everyone was beginning to feel the weight of the event to come.When Damen rose, the hall did too, and Damen led them out into the night and into the courtyard, where Kastor was lying in a shallow-bedded stone casket.The casket was being carried by four strong slaves and Damen saw a flaming string of torches lighting their path, to the place he’d interred his father only months ago.Nikandros came up beside him and rested a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s good of you to lay him to rest this way,” Nikandros murmured.

“He was my brother.”

Damen stepped up to the casket and peered inside.His brother looked still and cold.Someone had been taking good care of the body up until now, but there were still faint signs of decay, a smell that couldn’t quite be masked.Despite that, it was still Kastor.The lines where his smile would be, the strong arms that had pulled Damen into a hug many times, the large hands that had once covered Damen’s and helped him swing a sword.The same hands that had swung a sword at Laurent’s side.The same hands that had slowly and surely poisoned his father.The same hands that, ultimately, hadn’t been raised in opposition to the idea of sending his brother away to Vere as a pleasure slave.

Damen didn’t know what to say, what to feel.Kastor was to blame for everything and yet…without Kastor, he would never have met Laurent.Without Kastor, he would never have grown into the man he was now, a man he was proud of, a man capable of defeating someone like the Regent.And maybe none of it had been intentional, but it still felt owed.He laid a hand across his brother’s forehead and bent his head.

“I can’t ever forget what you’ve done, but I can forgive you and I can remember the man you were.The man I loved.I’m sorry it ended like this, brother,” Damen murmured.Then he asked one of the bearers to move aside and Damen took his place.Then he started walking and the people of Ios followed.

The somber march was matched in mood by the twilight and the flickering torches, sending shadows every which way.As Damen walked, he saw himself making the same trip with his father, Kastor at his side.The past and present were melding and as they did so, hot tears fell, snaking silently down Damen’s cheeks.The tears fell not only for the loss of a father and a brother, but for the loss of Laurent’s father and brother, and for the loss of an innocence he hadn’t even realized he’d had.

The large pillars and open archways of the resting place for the kings of Akielos came into view.Damen, the bearers, and a select few of the court went inside the temple and pushed the casket up onto a stone table.Slaves quickly hurried in and situated candles all around the body and lit them.Damen helped shove the lid of the casket on and then he stood to the side with Nikandros and held a couple minutes of silence.Later, members of the populous would come in and pay their respects and then, in the morning, Kastor would be placed beside his father, slitted underneath a large altar.

After the moment of silence, Damen left, shaking his head at Nikandros, who understood the message and did not follow.He retreated to his rooms and laid down on his bed.A squire stopped by, looking to help Damen get ready for bed, but Damen dismissed him with a wave of his hand.He wasn’t entirely sure what he was thinking or feeling, but he wanted to be alone.No, not alone.He wanted to be with Laurent, but in his absence, this would have to do.

Damen spent the night remembering Kastor.The sword fights, the horse races, the strolls through the gardens, the chases, the wrestling, the nights spent in his room laughing themselves silly.He remembered the way he’d looked up to his older brother, to his strength, his determination, his excellence in sword work and all of the ways in which that had driven a younger Damen to succeed.He remembered the food fights, the teasing, the ruffling of his hair.He remembered the day he was finally taller than Kastor and how he’d spent the entirety of that day standing with his shoulders back and his neck tall every time Kastor walked by.

It was in this exercise, that Damen remembered Kastor had a son and that he, Damen, had a nephew.Laurent wasn’t the only family he had left.He had the son of Jokaste and Kastor, a baby who could be raised to become a man more like Laurent than Kastor.Someone who could redeem everything Kastor did, everything Kastor had become.Someone who could redeem them all.

A strong want grew from Damen’s chest, flooding his body.He had to find Jokaste.He had to find his nephew.The moment he was back with Laurent, he was going to ask if they could do so. Hopefully, Laurent, the man who thought it was naive to trust one’s family, would understand.He had trusted family once.He’d trusted Auguste.

He trusted Damen.

Besides, Laurent couldn’t deny him anything anymore, apparently.Damen’s head sunk into the pillow and he smiled so long, his cheeks began to hurt.It was interesting how close happiness and sadness were, life and death.

He fell asleep that night with the hope of departing Akielos tomorrow for Vere and the lingering disbelief that he was looking forward to returning to the one place he’d never intended to see again.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments are beautiful, you guys. And, to everyone, the immense support this has received so far has made it so easy to write, which means I owe you all kind of a lot. So thank you. Always thank you. I think I'll be thanking you for a very long time. Anyways, enjoy this chapter! It's kind of the beginning of where I have to start making things up, so I hope it doesn't get too weird. I'm particularly fond of this chapter, actually.

The next morning, Damen woke, ate breakfast, took a bath, got dressed, then strolled to the courtyard where a squire was preparing his horse to ride to the Kingsmeet.Damen was apprehensive about returning, but it was a tradition to be crowned there, a tradition he was not going to break simply because he now associated the place with death, anger, and paralyzing fear.  While it could no longer be the peaceful place for him that it would continue to be for everyone else, it was still a place of immense political power.Damen simply wanted it over with.The minute he was crowned, he could leave and he could start doing what he was born to do; rule.

It wasn’t to be a big affair.The kingdom was still mourning the death of Kastor and the murder of King Theomedes.After his coronation, he would step out on the high balcony of Ios and wave to whoever was gathered in the courtyard, but the only people attending the actual event were Nikandros, the rest of the kyroi and a few of the King’s advisors as witnesses.Those who served at the Kingsmeet would perform the actual ceremony.A relatively simple one.  He would swear to uphold certain things, sacrifice a few drops of blood onto the Kingstone, and then a crown would be placed on his head. 

It took an hour to reach the Kingsmeet, their pace slow.Damen glanced at the statues of his forefathers and thought he was looking on them again too soon.There was a brief flash of Laurent’s hand on his bicep.

He could feel Nikandros watching him cautiously.Damen tried to shut down his face in the way Laurent was so adept at, but he had the distinct impression he was failing miserably.It was not something he’d ever perfected.When he passed into the inner chamber, he could feel his face grow pale and his heart beat faster.He felt like he was going to be sick.

Damen could almost see the Regent’s throne, his face, could almost hear the calm words he spoke to both Laurent and Damen, inciting their own reactions.He could almost feel the cool marble against his cheek and the light pressure of a blade against his neck.But, most of all, he could see Laurent’s face when he’d realized what his uncle was going to do and the flat voice as he begged his uncle to take him instead.

He leaned against one of the marble pillars and took deep, steadying breaths.Nikandros approached him and rested a hand on his shoulder.

“Damen.Are you alright?”

Damen glanced around at the impassive faces of the white-cloaked Kingsmeet soldiers and felt a flash of anger.He knew none of the proceedings had been their fault and yet it was their sword that had been against his neck, it was their rules that had almost cost Laurent and him their lives, it was their decision to not stop the Regent from practically destroying everything.

“No.”

Nikandros nodded.“Do you need a moment?”

“No.I just want to get out of here.”As far as Damen was concerned, it was the worst place in the world.Worse, even, then the wooden cross where he’d been whipped to the edge of life.

Damen strode forward and knelt down on the cold marble before the Kingstone.One of the white-cloaked soldiers pulled away from the edge of the chamber and motioned for Nikandros to bring forward the crown, a simple gold wreath.

“Prince Damianos, son of King Theomedes, you have come to ascend the Akielon throne, yes?”

“I have.”

“Do you swear fealty to the crown and to the Akielon Empire?”

“I swear.”

“Do you swear to uphold the laws of your forefathers, to be an honest and fair leader, to listen to the pleas of your people, to protect them and your country from harm, and to rule to the best of your ability?”

“I swear.”

“Will you willingly give your blood to the Kingstone in honor of your promise?”

“I will.”Damen stood, taking the knife being held out to him, and made a light slice against the back of his hand.The blood welled and as he tilted it sideways, it gathered on the edge before dripping onto the Kingstone.One of the soldiers came up and wrapped a white cloth around his hand, bowing as he backed away.Damen returned to the floor, bowing his head once more.

“Then by the power of the Kingsmeet, I place this wreath on your head, and declare you King Damianos.May you live long and rule well.”

The circlet settled into his hair and Damen stood with the new weight.He turned towards the people watching.Nikandros’s eyes were glowing and he shouted into the silence, “Long live King Damianos!”

The cry pervaded throughout the hall, taken up by everyone in residence, and Damen remembered the moment in Ravenel when his identity had been revealed.What he was feeling now was notably similar, except that he wasn’t concerned about rioting Veretians.He was among his own people and they were shouting his name, the sounds of it bouncing of the walls.It had taken all of his will, all of his luck, but he was finally here.Everything was locked into place.He had become all he’d wanted to be, all he’d been born to be.

 

That afternoon, after waving from the balcony to his people (more than he’d anticipated in their grief and upheaval) and sharing a celebratory drink with Nikandros and Makedon, Damen was in his room, surveying a squire who was packing up saddlebags for the journey to Vere.He intended to leave as soon as possible under the guise of shoring up the peace treaty between Vere and Akielos, that in ordinary events, would be unclear after the acts of Kastor and the Regent.It was common knowledge that Damen had formed some sort of attachment to the cold Veretian prince as well, but the less his people knew about that, the better.For now.

The squire was currently packing up chunks of bread, hard cheese, and salted meats when there was a knock on the door.Nikandros strolled in and Damen gave a nod to the squire, who departed, carrying the saddlebag with him.He was off to prepare Damen’s horse and whatever else needed attending.

“Nikandros,” Damen smiled.“What is it?”

Nikandros was shuffling his feet, clasping his hands together behind his back, and his eyes were averted away from Damen’s.The warm afternoon sun wafting in from the large oval windows made his skin shine.

“Nikandros?”

“Exalted, I have something to beg of you.”

“Very well.”

Nikandros finally met his eyes and he rushed through his words.“Don’t leave.There’s to be a large feast and a legendary celebration in your honor.It would mean a lot to everyone if you attended.This is your country, your people, and they wish to celebrate with you.Don’t run off to Vere.You belong here.”

“I’m going to leave.You know that.”

“I do,” Nikandros relented, grimacing slightly, “But stay for tonight.Please.For me.Laurent can wait another day.He’s perfectly capable of irritating people by himself.”

Damen sighed.He was restless and wanted to leave.He wanted to be on a horse, galloping in the open air.It was hard, after all of his Laurent-induced adventures to go back to a normal life, enclosed inside the confines of a castle. 

He sunk down on the edge of his bed, resigned.He knew Nikandros was right.He owed this to his people, to his friends.He was only ever going to be coronated once.And there’d be alcohol.Not raspy wine either, good wine, and probably some of Makedon’s uncle’s griva.It could be fun.

“Fine.But I’m leaving at dawn.”

“We’ll see.”

“Nikandros…”

“I just mean,” Nikandros said, extending a hand to help Damen up off the bed, “I intend to get you very drunk, Damen.In a good world, you’ll be hungover.It’s been a long time since we’ve been properly drunk together.”

“That it has,” Damen smiled.“It was on the rooftop of the summer palace, was it not?Before all of this started.”

Nikandros nodded, his eyes wistful.“That was a good day.”

In those words, Damen remembered the simplicity of Akielos and it’s people.A good day could be defined by an evening spent inebriated on a rooftop with a friend.But, then again, maybe it was like that in Vere, too.Damen had never asked Laurent what a good day was for him outside the games and wars.He’d have to ask.

“You’re thinking about Laurent again, aren’t you?” Nikandros sighed.

“How’d you…”

“It’s the same look you used to get when thinking of Jokaste, the same softness in the eyes.Except, with Laurent, your mouth goes soft, too, and sometimes, my friend, you blush.”

“I do not.”

“You do,” Nikandros laughed.“Come on, my lovesick King, let’s celebrate.”

Damen let Nikandros lead him out of his room.

 

Damen woke the next day with a throbbing head and to the sunlight of early afternoon streaming in through open air windows.He groaned, pulled his sheets over his head, and then proceeded to stumble around his bedroom blind.It was better than dealing with the light, the awful, horrible light that he was going to ride in all day.Damn Nikandros to hell.

He didn’t recall much of the previous night.There were only small flashes of disjointed memory.Lots of toasts and cheering, most drunken.Damen thought that perhaps even he had given a toast.Hopefully, everyone got just as drunk and wouldn’t remember. There had been songs and dancing and ribald stories.He’d probably talked about Laurent.A lot.In fact, he could distinctly remember describing Laurent in a chiton to lots of whistles and shouts.

Damen’s foot caught on the bottom of the blanket trailing along the floor and he crashed to the ground, arms flung outward, attempting to break his fall.A squire ran in and then awkwardly stood there, not sure what to do.At least he didn’t make an attempt to help Damen up. 

“You.Prepare my horse and get me food.Lots of food.Eggs.Oh, and water.And find the other one who packed my saddlebags and…I don’t know, just…”

“That was me, Exalted.” 

“Right.Sorry.You know what to do?”

“Yes.”

“Why are you still standing there?”

“Would you like help, Exalted?”The voice came out shaky and unsure.Normally, Damen would try to ease his worry and be genuinely kind, but he couldn’t muster that ability right now.

“Go,” Damen grumbled from the floor.He tugged the blanket out from underneath him and pulled it off his head.He scrunched his eyes closed to avoid the light and after a brief juncture of self-pitying, stood.A couch was less than ten feet away.He could make it.Damen stumbled over and draped himself across the couch, laying one of his hands over his face and tried to swallow away the nausea.Being sick was not an appealing scenario.Nor was riding a horse.

If only Laurent were here to take care of him now.Damen had a feeling it was different with hangovers, though.Laurent would probably walk around, pushing back all the curtains, shouting everything he said, and laughing at his pain.At least Damen would’ve had something nice to look at.If Laurent’s frame had been outlined by the rays of sun, perhaps they would have been more bearable.

The squire hurried back in with a heaping plate of steaming eggs and meats and a pitcher of water.He set it on the table in the center of Damen’s room and then, after a momentary pause, left.Damen heaved himself from the couch and fell, with a loud crash and a scrape he instantly regretted, into a chair. 

The eggs were no longer appealing but he poured himself a tall glass of water and swallowed half of it down.He pondered the eggs with a sneer, but ate them anyways.He took a break from eating briefly to slip into a new chiton, one that smelled slightly less of the night before.

He was halfway through the plate—a rather slow process—when there was a knock on the door.Damen allowed them to enter reluctantly.Nikandros came in.His hair was a mess, his chiton was wrinkled; it was the same one he’d been wearing last night.He sunk into a chair beside Damen and drank half of Damen’s third glass of water. He extended his fingers to grab a piece of egg.Damen slapped his hand away.“Are you trying to steal your King’s food?”

Nikandros groaned and his head hit the table.“Normally I’d be ashamed, but I feel like I tumbled down a cliff, loosing rocks as I fell, and when I reached the bottom, all of those rocks fell on top of me.You could be Laurent and I’d still try and steal your food.”

Damen shook his head with a short laugh and said, “No.You wouldn’t.He’d bite your fingers off.”

“Even in my weakened state?”

“Especially in your weakened state.”

“What a bastard,” Nikandros grumbled against the table.“You know, I highly recommend sitting like this.I think my head is hurting less.”

“Who’s idea was this?” Damen grumbled, mimicking Nikandros’s position.It didn’t help his head in the slightest, but now that he was here…

“That would be mine.I might be regretting it now.Although, I did wake with a very beautiful woman in my bed.To be fair, I don’t remember her at all, so…”

“Good for you,” Damen sighed. 

“You’re leaving.”

“I am.Whenever the squire comes back and helps me walk down to my horse.”

“You shouldn’t go alone.”

“I’ll have Paschal with me.”

“I could…”

“No,” Damen said firmly.“I need you to stay here.You’re the only person I trust with Akielos.”

There was a brief silence.“I’m going to miss you, brother.”

“It’s not forever.”

“No,” Nikandros murmured, “And this is much better than thinking you’re dead.Don’t let Laurent kill you.I’m not sure I can go through it again.”

They glanced at each other for a moment.Damen reached over and clasped Nikandros’s hand in his.There was simply nothing more to say. 

Damen released Nikandros’s hand and then poured them more water.The squire came in, announcing that the horses were prepared, while carrying a cup of iron tea. Damen seriously considered kissing him.Nikandros looked at it with longing and Damen smiled, rising to his feet and taking the cup from the squire’s hands.He set it in front of Nikandros.“Better luck with your hangover, my friend.Good bye.”

“Good bye, Damen.”

Damen followed the squire who was leading him out of the door, sparing wary glances every thirty seconds or so to make sure his king was still standing. 

“Damen?” Nikandros called out.

“What?” he said, turning.

“Could you punch Laurent for me?”

Damen smiled wryly.“I don’t think so.I could beat him in a sword fight for you.It would irritate him just as much, probably.”

“Not quite as satisfying, though,” Nikandros sighed, “But I’ll take whatever you can give me.”

Damen laughed, gave a solemn wave, and then left his chamber.The squire led him to the courtyard, only having to help Damen once—he almost slammed into a wall when a bright, pointed ray of light hit his eyes—and handed him the reins to his horse.Damen raised his eyes to the white walls of Akielos, the simple architecture. It was much easier this time to leave.He was going of his own free will and on horse, not a cramped ship.But he was going to the same place, the same person, and his heart was fluttering in anticipation of seeing Laurent’s face again, of earning a flush from the sensitive skin, of touching the soft blonde hair, of kissing him wordless.It felt right.

Paschal was beside him, ready to ride.The portcullis opened for them and with a nod to Paschal, they rode out.

The ride was long and sweaty.The occasional baths in rivers did nothing to help and the rests at night did nothing for the sore muscles obtained from riding hard in a saddle for most of a day.But they had plenty of food in their saddlebags and the absence of people clamoring for Damen’s attention felt much needed after the entire business with the Regent.Damen spent most evenings by a fire, munching on food, chatting easily with Paschal, and happily gazing up at the stars until he fell asleep.Often he dreamed of Laurent and what it would be like to see him again, to hear his voice.As long as they were apart, Damen didn’t feel quite himself.Nothing very off, but like a finger was missing on his left hand.He also wondered how Laurent was handling the separation.Probably fine.But a part of Damen was fairly confident that Laurent was getting used to the idea of not being alone and that was the smile he gave to the stars.

He stopped in Ravenel for a day and checked in with Jord, who said everything was fine.Some minor struggles, but overall, it could be worse.Paschal looked over a few of the injured and while he was doing so Jord and Damen talked of other things.There was a moment, when Damen mentioned Nikandros in conversation, that Jord hesitated briefly and had haltingly asked after him.Damen made a note to send Nikandros back to the border to keep Jord company once he and Laurent had some semblance of control over the situation.They both deserved all of the happiness in the world and something was definitely happening there, now that he’d seen it from both sides.Something Damen was going to nurture.

Finally, after two and a half weeks, Damen spotted Arles, the gray stone, the spires, the statues.He felt neutral about seeing the palace.It had an inexorable draw because he knew Laurent was within those walls but nothing good had ever happened to him here.He’d gotten embroiled in a political struggle, whipped and beaten, and treated like a piece of enslaved meat.But his second stay in this castle was going to be different.He wouldn’t even have to see the walls of Laurent’s harem.

A herald came out to meet him and the moment he saw Damen he bent at the knee onto the ground and murmured, “Exalted.Please follow me.”Clearly, Laurent had been busy preparing for his arrival.He was even being addressed in an Akielon fashion.

He was led through the winding, labyrinthine halls to the throne room.When the doors opened, he saw Laurent sprawled out on the throne, an elaborate gold crown on his head, listening to one of his people complain about his dead herd of cows.Laurent’s guard lined the walls and a short string of people waiting to plead to their king were in the middle of the room.No one else was there and, for that, Damen was grateful.He didn’t particularly wish to see the pets and their very public displays of affection, if that was even a word to describe what happened between pets and their masters in Vere.

“Laurent,” Damen murmured.He’d meant to say it louder, but all the breath had left him when those blue eyes had met his.Laurent’s face remained emotionless and straight but he held up a hand to the person speaking.They stopped in their story immediately. 

Laurent flicked his eyes back and forth between Damen and his subject.Then he shut them for a moment, before waving for the subject to continue with their story.Damen settled himself against the wall, arms crossed, and waited.Somehow, Laurent was managing to devote all of his attention to his subjects.Damen would’ve been unable to look anywhere else.It was lucky he wasn’t the one on the throne right now.He could stare without interruption.

Finally, Laurent had dealt with all of the subjects and the instant they’d left the room, he sprang from the throne in a very boyish manner—one Damen smiled to see—and strolled down the steps, saying, “Couldn’t you have scared them away?Flexed your muscles, bared your massive teeth?”

“Hi, darling,” Damen smiled.

Laurent stopped and grimaced.

“No?”

Laurent shook his head.“Definitely not.”

“What am I allowed?”

Laurent pondered that.“I think, perhaps, I could allow sweetheart.”They smiled at each other, both remembering the first thing Damen had ever said to Laurent.It was interesting that it was a fond memory now. “What would you allow me?” Laurent asked, after a moment.

“Anything,” Damen said.Then he closed the distance and pulled Laurent into a hug.One of his hands was cradling Laurent’s neck and he bent his head slightly to whisper in his ear, “I’ve missed you, sweetheart.”

Laurent pulled back slightly, but didn’t remove himself from Damen’s arms.He stroked one wavy strand of hair off Damen’s forehead.“As I’ve missed you.I’d forgotten just how much skin those chitons showed.”

“See anything you like?”

“Yes.”Laurent removed himself from Damen’s arms and faced a window.“I’m quite fond of this crown, actually.Especially on my head.Isn’t it becoming?”

He glanced back at Damen, who didn’t even need to reply.He was sure his eyes said it all.Laurent laughed but his blue eyes grew subtly darker and he said, “Do you have any pressing matters?”

“Not if you don’t.”

“Excellent.”He took the crown off his head and reached up to sling it sideways over Damen’s.“It’s quite heavy.”Then he grabbed Damen’s hand and led him from the throne room.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys continue to be the most amazing thing in my life right now. I continue to squeal about it every day. Ask anyone I live with...they're tired of it. Anyways thanks so much, the reviews were particularly lovely this time around, and I hope you enjoy this chapter! Be kind to me about the smut...it's not something I've ever claimed to be good at.

They passed a few curious glances that didn’t stay curious once Damen looked at them.He began to realize he still scared these people, especially the ones who had interacted with him as Laurent’s slave.Vannes tried to stop them and discuss something on the way, but Laurent kept on walking, calling back, “Later, Vannes.Right now I’m going to go fuck my Akielon King.”

“Oh are you?” Damen laughed warmly.

“Perhaps.Perhaps not.I was mostly trying to irritate her.She’s been irritating me.”

“Not quite so keen on combining our kingdoms?”

“No.None are.We have much to discuss, Damianos.”

“Fucking sounds like more fun,” Damen grumbled.

They were now in Laurent’s chambers and Damen stared at the familiar walls, recalling a Laurent who had almost been killed by his own uncle while resisting the will of a powerful Akielon drug.“I’m sure I could be persuaded,” Laurent said.His blue eyes were even darker than before and he was holding himself very still.Damen approached slowly and kissed him gently, leading him sweetly out of tenseness.

He let Laurent take the lead, let him set the pace.The kiss deepened quickly, Laurent’s tongue tracing his bottom lip.Damen grabbed Laurent by the hips and pulled him closer, before parting their lips and resting his forehead against Laurent’s, so he could ask a question. “Do we have time?” Damen whispered, surprised to hear his breathing was already labored.The things Laurent could do to him.

“We can,” Laurent said.

“Then let me help you with your clothes.”

Laurent stepped back a couple of inches and watched as Damen carefully unlaced the jacket, reaching underneath to Lauren’t shoulders, before slipping it off.Then he pulled Laurent’s undershirt off, tossing it to the side, and bent, kissing the collarbone, lightly sweeping one of the nipples with his tongue, before traveling downwards to focus his attention on Laurent’s boots.He could hear Laurent’s shallow breathing and he glanced up while removing the right boot, to see Laurent’s eyelids fluttering.Damen raised a hand to the flatness of Laurent’s stomach and rubbed slow circles there with his thumb.He did that until Laurent’s eyes dropped closed and his mouth hung open slightly.Only then did he remove the left boot.He stood and ran his hands down Laurent’s sides very slowly, mostly because he knew it was what Laurent liked, but also because he wanted Laurent to be able to stop him if he was ever uncomfortable.

His hands curved inwards and began working on the laces of Laurent’s pants.When they were undone, Damen said—into the curve of Laurent’s neck, as he trailed lingering kisses up and down it—“Take those off and go lay on the bed.”

Damen could feel Laurent tense at the words and he removed his lips from Laurent’s neck and gazed into his eyes, silently cursing himself for giving Laurent an order.“Nothing you don’t want, Laurent.I promise.I just want to please you the way you deserve.”

Laurent held Damen’s gaze as he tugged off his pants.He stood there for a moment, naked, still staring, before he strolled over to his bed and lay down on top of the sheets, head slightly elevated by a pillow.Damen took a moment to drink him in while undoing the pin that held his chiton up.He also remembered to remove Laurent’s crown from his head and set it onto the table.Then, when he was naked too, he approached Laurent, kneeled down on the bed by Laurent’s feet and said, “Are you okay?”

“I’m not a piece of breakable glass, Damen,” Laurent bristled.

“Fine.”Damen held himself over Laurent, before kissing him again.It was open-mouthed, hot and slow.Their limbs tangled together and Damen could feel as Laurent hardened against his thigh.He slipped to Laurent’s neck then and continued his slow kissing and sucking, down to his collarbone, to his nipples.All of it painfully slow.It normally would be destroying Damen by now, but every little harsh intake of breath and quiet moan from Laurent did more than enough for him.As Damen’s tongue circled Laurent’s nipple languorously, he was rewarded with Laurent’s hand in his hair, tugging at the strands gently.The slower he went and the lower he traveled, the more he could feel the tenseness in Laurent unwinding into something akin to relaxation.

Damen made sure to kiss and lick every part of Lauren’t stomach, his thighs, his calves, determinedly avoiding the one place Laurent wanted the most attention.Some of the moans came out louder now and when Damen was placing a soft bite to the inside of Laurent’s thigh, Laurent raised himself on to his elbows and said, shortly, “Would you just get on with it?”Damen was happy to hear the nearly silent gasps for air in between words.

Damen grinned and shook his head.“I haven’t quite covered everything yet.I still have to kiss the pads of your feet and suck your toes.”

“You can’t be serious.”

Damen laughed and took one of Laurent’s balls into his mouth briefly before coming back up and saying, “Not really.Unless you want me to.I’m more than willing.”

“I…”

“What do you want, Laurent?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered, the truth painful for both of them.“You’re the only person who’s ever asked.”Then after a long pause, “What do you want?”

“I want you to not worry about me,” Damen said.He fell back over Laurent and began kissing him again, one of his hands massaging Laurent’s balls.He was capturing moans in his mouth and when Laurent brought his hand to Damen’s cock and began stroking it, Damen almost collapsed on top of him, the move so unexpected.This was supposed to be entirely about Laurent, but clearly he wasn’t getting the message.When did he ever listen to Damen, though?

Damen shifted so they were sliding against each other and he panted into Laurent’s ear, nibbling on the lobe.Every time he moved to a new place, Damen expected Laurent’s claws to come out, to be scratched and strung up for assuming too much, but he never was.He wouldn’t go so far as to say Laurent was comfortable, but there were moments when he forgot that he was supposed to be tense, and those were the moments Damen lived for.

When he kissed his way down to Laurent’s thighs and then swirled his tongue around the tip of Laurent’s cock, one of those moments happened.Both of his hands curled into Damen’s hair and he keened.He even pushed, asking for more, and Damen willingly obliged, indulging in a long slide, the tip of his nose brushing soft curls of almost invisible hair.Then he pulled back up, nuzzling the head and picking up the pace, just so.Nothing too fast, Damen still intent on keeping the pace as slow as he was physically capable of.

“Damen,” Laurent breathed.“I’m going to…”

Damen could feel it.He began moving his tongue in even slower circles and raised a hand to Laurent’s taut stomach and mimicked the circles he was making with his tongue with the thumb of his hand.The hands in his hair were now clutching and tugging and Damen went into one more measured slide, pulling up gradually, letting his teeth imperceptibly scrape. 

He was kissing Laurent again, now, and stroking his cock slowly, Laurent holding him hard, his body arched up into Damen’s, as he came in spurts across his stomach and Damen’s fingers.Laurent barely uttered a sound the entire time, but, to Damen’s delight, he hadn’t tried to prevent himself from coming as he had in the past.Or, if he had, it hadn’t been for nearly as long, because Damen hadn’t noticed.

“Alright?” Damen smiled, happy in the knowledge that Laurent might just feel safe with him.

Laurent sunk down into the sheets, tugging Damen down with him and nodded with a shy smile.“That was…you know what you’re doing.”

“Thanks,” Damen said, swelling with pride.

Laurent’s eyes traveled down to Damen’s arousal and he raised himself up on an elbow and extended a hand towards it.Damen captured the hand before it got there and murmured, “I’ll take care of it myself later.”

“I want to.”

“You want to reciprocate?Did I hear that right?”

“Nothing too exciting, Damen,” Laurent said, sardonically, “I’d remind you I can make you come with just one hand.”

“I’m relatively confident I could make you come just from kissing.”

“I think it’s time for you to shut up,” Laurent said, closing his hand around Damen’s throbbing cock.

Laurent could, in fact, still make him come with just one hand.It didn’t even take long.In fact, it took an almost embarrassingly short amount of time.The moment Laurent was finished, he picked himself up from the bed and walked across his chambers and into the bathroom, grabbing a towel.Damen had considered stopping him, but today was about Laurent and he wasn’t going to push him or ask for anything that might cause him anxiety.In time, theoretically, his post-coital instincts would be more suited to Damen’s.

Laurent wandered back in, still naked, with a focused expression on his face as he wiped himself clean.Damen watched him approach, watched the sinuous movements of Laurent’s muscles, the tendons shift in his hands, appreciated the slanting lines of his profile against the light from the paned windows.

There was only a brief pause in his movements before he worked on cleaning Damen up.He did it swiftly, without teasing or pretense, but incredibly gently.Finally, with a much longer hesitation, he lay down against Damen’s side, resting his head on his chest, running his fingers through the dark hair there.Damen curled an arm around his shoulders and held him tight, resting his lips on top of Laurent’s head.“You’re beautiful,” he said into his hair.

No words passed for some time.Damen didn’t want to be the one to break the silence.

“I promised to have dinner with Vannes tonight,” Laurent finally said, reluctantly.“I need to get dressed.”He didn’t make any moves to leave Damen’s arms.

“Comfortable?” Damen asked, the word coming from a deep, warm spot in his body.

After a moment, “Very.”Laurent paused again and then said carefully, every word precisely picked before it left his mouth, “What you did, what you offered, I…thank you.I did not think that it could be like this.”He breathed hard against Damen’s skin, sheltered his eyes into his shoulder for a moment, and then continued, “What I’m trying to say, badly, is that I’m falling in love with you, too, Damianos of Akielos.And I’m not saying that because I feel like I owe it to you, but because these past weeks, apart from you, have been excruciatingly difficult and to my…utter vexation, I am not sure I can do this alone anymore.”

Damen could think of no words to describe how he felt, so instead, he kissed Laurent, trying to impart everything he was feeling into the kiss.His hands stroked the smooth skin of Laurent’s arms as he did so.Laurent bent into him and wound both his arms around Damen’s neck, tilting his head, deepening the kiss into something toe-curling.

“Did you say something about dinner?” Damen said, as he attempted to catch his breath.

“Yes.I…yes, I did.”He tried to extricate himself from Damen’s arms, but Damen pulled him in closer and held him tighter.The blue eyes grew irritated, but not in a dangerous way, because his mouth was curled on one side into a sardonic smile.“Let me go, Damen.”

“Can’t get yourself out?”

“I could, you know.”

“I’m not sure I believe that.”

Laurent’s laughter echoed around the room.“Oh, Damen,” he said, smirking at Damen’s confusion, “I think you underestimate what I am capable of.”Laurent drew a fingernail in a harsh, red line down Damen’s chest.Then he bent down and licked up the line in one smooth motion.Surprised not only by the laughter, but by the tingling pain and the boldness of what Laurent had done, Damen’s grip loosened slightly and Laurent wriggled out before Damen had a chance to regroup and double down.

“That’s cheating.”

“That’s winning, lover,” Laurent tossed back as he gathered his clothes from the floor.“Attend me?”

“Since you asked nicely,” Damen said.He dragged himself from the bed, took the clothes from Laurent’s hands, and helped him into each article of clothing, lacing everything.It dawned on him for a second that, perhaps, this should make him uncomfortable, but it was too familiar for that.When Damen was finished, he stepped back, admiring his handiwork, and said, “Well, you’re far too dressed for my taste, but it will do.”

Laurent wasn’t sure where to keep his gaze focused.He tried hard to keep them on Damen’s eyes but they often wandered.A light flush was spreading across his cheeks.“Would you put some clothes on?” he asked.

Damen chortled lightly and turned, searching for his chiton somewhere on the floor.When he found it, he bent down to pick it up and began pulling it on when a faint noise from behind him stopped his movements.

He turned to Laurent and raised his eyebrows in a question.

“It’s nothing.I have to go,” Laurent said, his face blank.

“Is it realistic for me to wait up for you?”

“Yes,” Laurent said from the doorway, “If you sleep, I’ll just wake you up.There are matters that need our immediate attention and…we’re a team so…so I wanted to clear them with you first.”

Damen took an orange from the table and began peeling it.“I can be awake.”

“Good.”

Laurent left and Damen ate slices of the orange while lounging in front of the fire.It was significantly colder in Vere, even in the summer, and part of him wanted his own set of Veretian clothing so he could stay warm when the sun went down and the stone halls grew bleak.

Once he finished his orange, Damen wasn’t entirely sure what to do until Laurent got back.He would’ve offered to accompany Laurent, but he didn’t want to complicate things, and he knew Laurent would’ve asked if it was prudent to have Damen with him.

He decided to poke around the room, see if he could discover something new about Laurent.Starting at the wardrobe, Damen ruffled through the clothes inside.Most were pieces of clothing he was very familiar with, trailing laces and all, but in various colors.Almost all were blues and greens but Damen did see a red and a purple one.Laurent would look wonderful in red; Damen would have to convince him to try it on sometime.The pants and the boots were all the same. 

He moved to the reclining couch and the table beside it.There was a book open there, not one Damen had ever heard of.Not that he did that much reading.The only reading he’d ever really done was for his lessons and it had been grudgingly. 

In fact, Laurent had books everywhere.There was another one on the table beside the bed and at least three on his desk.Laurent didn’t just like reading, he loved it.Damen walked over to the desk, which was covered in papers.It was the only messy part of the whole room and yet looking at it, Damen had a sense there was some inexplicable organization to the whole set-up.There were drawers, but Damen didn’t open them, figuring that was a considerable breach of privacy.Instead, he settled onto the reclining couch and took up the book and started from the beginning. 

It wasn’t what Damen had expected.It was a story, not a history or a philosophy.And it was a simply-rendered one about a young girl who stole a horse from her master and ran away into the woods, joining up with a troop of bandits within them.Damen could see the appeal to Laurent.The girl was intelligent and resourceful and she ran away from her oppressors.He secretly wondered if this was, perhaps, Laurent’s favorite book.It definitely hadn’t been written with an adult audience in mind.

About twenty minutes into reading the book, the sun had fully set and the room was too dark to read in, so Damen set about lighting all of the lamps that encircled the room.He took another orange from the table on his way back to the couch and ate it, wishing he had some actual food to consume.He supposed he could call for some, but he wasn’t sure how willing anybody would be to do as he commanded, so, for now, he satisfied himself with fruit.When it was gone, he picked the book back up and continued reading.The troop of bandits were now under the girl’s command, doing whatever she asked, and she was currently debating the moral implications of ordering them to go and kill her old master, who had treated her abysmally.

Damen only had a couple of pages left in the book when Laurent entered the room.Glancing up, Damen noticed that Laurent looked exhausted, similar to the way he had looked after a long day of training with the troops at Charcy.Clearly, it was mental this time, though, not physical.It surprised Damen.He’d had no idea Laurent could get mentally tired.

Laurent loped over to the bed and undid his boots, his jacket, and unlaced the white undershirt.He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.It struck Damen again, as it often did, that Laurent was incredibly young.Young enough that he shouldn’t ever look like this at the end of the day.

“Did the dinner go alright?” Damen asked.

Laurent started slightly then swiveled to face Damen.He smiled to himself then strolled over to the reclining couch where Damen was lying down, his bare feet slapping against the floor.He lifted Damen’s legs and settled beneath them, curling his own up underneath his body.

“Forget I was here?”

“I did,” Laurent said, “I’m not used to people being in my room.”

“It’s your sanctuary.”

Laurent stared at him for a moment and then nodded.“The dinner was long,” he said, “But I’ve made progress.”

“Why Vannes?”

“I forgot.I haven’t entirely filled you in, have I?For obvious reasons, Guion and Mathe could no longer be members of my Council, so I replaced both of them with Vannes.I spared Guion’s life per Loyse’s request, which I may regret later, but my hands were tied.I sent Mathe to Ravenel.Anyway, Vannes likes me.Very few people do.She’s also one of the few people in court who has any semblance of honor, something I needed.” 

“Why?”

“The Council almost killed their Prince, whose throne they swore to protect, because of the false claims of a regent.They owe me.She can convince them that’s the case.I see you’ve been reading.”

“Yes.”

“Do you like it?” Laurent asked, curiously.

“I do, actually.”

“That surprises you?”

“I don’t read much.Besides, it takes me a long time to read Veretian.”

“But you’re reading now.”

“I was curious what you liked to read.There’s not a whole lot I know about you, so I decided to start remedying that.”

“You know more than anyone else,” Laurent said.

“I know,” Damen said, trying not to let the sadness he felt creep into his words.“Is this your favorite book?”

“One of them,” Laurent admitted.“Would you like me to let you finish?”

“Please.” 

Laurent nodded and settled more comfortably into the couch, resting his arms on Damen’s legs.Every once and a while, Damen would flick his eyes up from the pages to see Laurent staring at the opposite wall, where a tapestry was hanging.Damen knew he wasn’t actually looking at the wall hanging, but was deep in rumination.If only he could crack that head open and read every thought.

“Damen,” Laurent said, catching Damen in a moment of staring.“I’m not going to wait forever.Focus.”

Damen set the book down with a sigh.“I don’t think I can.I’ll finish it later.”

“I’m not that distracting.”

“You are, actually,” Damen said, warmly, stroking Laurent’s cheek.“Especially in lamplight.Your skin glows.”

Laurent laughed, his body shaking Damen’s.“You are unbelievable.”

They laughed together.Silence followed afterwards and Laurent sighed regretfully as he spun his fingers up and down Damen’s leg.“We need to start making our moves.There are a few ways we can go about it, but I suggest we start with the changes that can easily be attributed to a treaty.First, you give me Delfeur.”

“Laurent…”

“That was the deal, Damianos.Besides, it’s only temporary. If you give me Delfeur, then there are things I can give to Akielos.Many things.I am benevolent and understand Delfeur is a large sacrifice in the name of peace.”

“Benevolent.”

“Not the word you would use?”

“No.Calculating, manipulative…those are more appropriate.”

Laurent smiled wryly, “Yes, well, I have a reputation to maintain, don’t I?”

“Fine.So I give you Delpha and I get?”

“A lift of the embargo, free trade, the assistance of my army in patrolling borders and appeasing the mountain clans, and opening our borders to your people.”

“That’s essentially a merge.All we’re maintaining is separate governments.”

“How astute of you, Damen.”

“Okay, but in the spirit of a hypothetical treaty, why would I want your armies assisting me?And why would I want open borders?My people want nothing to do with your people.”

“Because the mountain clans will continue to pester you and you don’t have the knowledge or means to stop them.”

“I think I have some idea,” Damen said, recalling all of the gifts and the customs of the clans that Laurent had participated in.Admittedly, the language barrier would still exist, something Laurent had managed to overcome, but Damen thought if he really put his mind to it, it could be done.

“Let’s assume you don’t.The open borders allow for movement both ways, increasing the influx of people into your country, as well as mine.My people will want to see Akielos, Damen.They might try and avoid the Akielons, but the year-round warmth, the cliffs, the ocean, the white palaces of Ios, the Kingsmeet, those are things people will want to see.It’s beneficial for your economy.As for how it benefits us, it allows for the exchange of goods and money between our peoples.It’s the start of an economic dependence, especially if we work out a way in which one form of payment can be used in both countries.”

“You always have an answer, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Laurent said.

Damen thought it through for a moment and then nodded, “Alright.But how do we explain why our countries are on better terms?”

“Everyone knows we’re fucking, Damen.They might not like it, but they’ll understand why.”

“Great.”Damen tried not to think about the fact that his sexual exploits were common knowledge.“Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Mostly.Why?”

“Because I want to ask you something.Three things, actually.”

“Yes?” Laurent said.He leaned his elbow against the head of the couch and then rested his head on his hand.His eyes were bright and interested and Damen had to pause and stare for a moment, wanting to commit that look to memory. 

“What’s your favorite color?”

Laurent hesitated and then said, slowly, “Are you serious?”

“Completely.”

“I don’t know the name for it, but the deep orange of the sun as it’s setting.”

“Mine’s blue.”

Laurent’s back was still ramrod straight and his brows were furrowed.Damen wanted to reach over and smooth the crease, so he did.Laurent smiled at the gesture and said, “I’m having trouble understanding why I need to know your favorite color.”

“Why not?”

“Because there’s nothing I can do with that information.”

“I wanted to know when I was picking flowers for you.”

Laurent was still staring at him like he was some newly discovered animal who liked to eat poisonous leaves.Then he said, “Of course you did.”

“What would be a perfect day for you?”

“But you already know that, Damen.Picking wings of flies, whipping my slaves, humiliating everyone I meet, and then enjoying a very large feast with the heads of my enemies decorating the tables.”

Damen just blinked at Laurent, waiting for him to give an actual answer.

“As of right this very moment?” Laurent asked.

Damen nodded.

“I’m not sure how to answer that,” he said, “Up to this moment, today might have been one of the better days of my life.Ideally, there would’ve been more riding and reading and less Vannes, but…”

He didn’t finish the thought.Laurent’s head was down, peering at his fingers, and Damen’s heart was fluttering at the vulnerability of those words and the fact that impeccable Laurent, Laurent who could eviscerate people in seconds, who had a dirtier mouth than most of his army, couldn’t say those words while looking directly at Damen.

They were both waiting for Damen to ask his third question, but Damen was having trouble getting the words out.He wasn’t sure how Laurent would react and that was something Damen preferred to know before he made requests.“I want to find Jokaste.I want to meet my nephew.”

“That’s not a question.”

“Will you help me find her?”

“Yes,” Laurent said.His eyes were slightly cooler than they had been earlier, but there was no hesitation in his response, which felt stranger to Damen than if he’d lashed out and said something cruel.

“I thought you’d be less than excited.”

“When we finally combine our kingdoms, we’re going to need an heir to consolidate our power.It’s a fact.If we don’t have one, especially since we aren’t capable of bearing children, people will be able to question our rule.While I’d prefer we find one of the women you fucked by the coupling fire among the Vaskian tribes—because that child would actually be your child, unlike your nephew—getting the tribe, especially if the child is born female, to part with your child would be very difficult.In that case, we’d need a back up plan.That’s where your nephew comes into play.”

It took Damen a long time to process those words.There were lots of jumps of logic he had to make in order to understand all of it and finally all that managed to come from his mouth was, “We…us with a…heir?You…does that…does that mean we’re going to be married?”It sounded ridiculous when he said it, but when Laurent didn’t go extremely still or laugh, he started worrying that he’d guessed right. 

“I assumed you knew that.”

“What?”

“We are combining our kingdoms, Damen.Symbolically, there’s one very simple way to do that.”

“But…” Damen spluttered.

“What?”

“We’ve only known…and I didn’t…”

Laurent sighed. 

“But…I wanted to properly court you and then, I don’t know…it’s not a business transaction, Laurent.”

“It certainly can be.”

“But I wanted to do this right.”

Laurent sighed again, lifted Damen’s legs from his body, and then knelt on the ground.“Damen,” he said, completely serious, his eyes giving nothing away, “Will you marry me?”

“But…”

“But what?”

Damen eyed Laurent carefully, watched him remain on his knees.Laurent grasped Damen’s hand in his and kissed the palm of it, his eyes softening and a gentle smile gracing his lips, one that eased the tension in Damen considerably.“I mean it, Damen.I want this, with you.”

“I don’t want it to be because we’re combining our kingdoms.”

“When you asked me that, what did you think it meant?I very clearly understood what it meant when I answered yes and again when I asked you on the floor of those baths.Maybe it’s crazy, maybe it’s fast, but I want it.”

“I…”Damen couldn’t get any words out.His mind was whirling.Of course Laurent had picked apart every part of those words, every action that would have to take place to make it happen.Of course he’d been prepared.Every part of Damen was reacting, insisting this wasn’t how it was done.Another part of him tried comparing how he was feeling now to how he’d felt about Jokaste, but nothing was the same.There was so much more going on between Laurent and him.There was more violence, more anger, more shared life experience.Another part of him felt like the sun was rising in his chest.The higher the sun rose, the more it drowned out everything else.

Damen hardly noticed time passing as he thought.But Laurent must’ve, because he stood in a flash of motion, releasing Damen’s hand and said, with the stone cold eyes Damen wasn’t prepared for, “Luckily for both of us, I haven’t done anything that can’t be undone.”Then he was gone, leaving Damen alone on a reclining couch in a room that wasn’t his, wondering what had happened and what had gone wrong.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm all done with finals, so I'm celebrating. And yes that celebrating involved writing a shit ton of fic, while maybe slightly drunk...shh don't worry, I edit...and sharing the next chapter with you guys earlier than I originally intended. Enjoy!!!  
> Also...when I reference across the ocean, I mean away from everywhere we know about, Vere, Akielos, Patras, Vask...a whole new land and place cuz it's not like that bit of land is not that the only one in the world :)

Damen paced around Laurent’s room, berating himself for not saying anything.Of course he would marry Laurent if that was what it took.He wanted this, too, and he was the one who’d asked to rule one kingdom with Laurent.He’d been asking exactly what Laurent had assumed he was asking, Damen just hadn’t realized it, and now Laurent could be anywhere, stewing, talking himself out of a good thing, building up his walls, and there was nothing Damen could do.Laurent couldn’t be left alone to think, he couldn’t.

“Fuck,” Damen growled, running his hands through his hair.He swung out and clipped a pitcher filled with water.The water arched outwards, splashing against the floor, leaving a dark stain. 

There was only one answer.Damen was going to prowl every damn hallway of this castle, every twisting, dark corner, until he found Laurent and then he was going to have to hope Laurent hadn’t shut down at the first spot of trouble.The first spot of trouble that was only a stupid misunderstanding.If only Laurent had stayed another five seconds.

Damen flew out of Laurent’s door, not remembering to shut it after him, and grabbed random people in the halls, asking if they’d seen Laurent.None had.It didn’t help that most were drunk and weaving their way back to their rooms with the help of their friends.Laurent wouldn’t have had to try hard to avoid detection.

He had to find someone who knew Laurent, who would have some idea where he would go to be alone when he didn’t have his chambers.All Damen knew is that whatever place he picked, it would be absent of people, but he was in a castle he didn’t know well.Not well enough, anyways.

He grabbed another person and asked where he could find Paschal.They pointed lazily and Damen swept away, everyone in the halls giving him a wide berth, their eyes filled with mild alarm.

Damen got directions three more times and then he burst into Paschal’s infirmary.It was largely empty, though there were a couple of patients lying in beds.Paschal was brushing the forehead of one with a wet cloth when he saw Damen.

He set down the cloth and hurried over.“What is it, Exalted?” he whispered.

“Do you…”

“Quietly, please, Exalted.Some are trying to sleep.”

“Laurent and I…” Damen sighed heavily, choosing to divert from that approach, “Do you know where he would go to be alone if he couldn’t go to his room?”

Paschal nodded.“The stables.He may have even gone riding.”

“In the middle of the night?”

“He’s done it before.”

“Thank you,” Damen said.He started to leave, but then he turned back around and said, “How would I get there?”

Paschal gave him a much more detailed set of instructions and then Damen was off, still receiving the looks of apprehension and confusion.He likely wasn’t helping the image of Akielons within Vere at the moment, but he could care less.

He got turned around twice, but finally, he reached the stables.All of the them were occupied.Laurent was here somewhere.Unless Paschal was wrong.But Damen couldn’t afford to think like that.

There was a soft whinny from the far end of the stables and Damen crept down the row.Rising over the wooden walls, he saw the tell-tale yellow hair, now almost silver in the moonlight that was streaming from a window across the straw-covered path.

He stopped, giving Laurent ample space.Then he said, softly, “Laurent.”

Laurent determinedly ignored him, petting the nose of the horse and whispering something in it’s ear.Damen almost forgot what he was here for, watching the interaction.It was kind and gentle.He thought that, perhaps, if anyone wanted to see a version of what Laurent had been like before he’d grown up too fast, all one had to do was watch him with horses.

“I’m sorry,” he said into the darkness, hoping Laurent was listening.“I should’ve answered sooner, because you’re right, of course.That is what I’d been asking, but I don’t think the way you do, and it never occurred to me that one of the steps to getting where I wanted us to be was marriage.It’s not particularly common…between two men.My point is, I say what I feel when I feel it, without thought for consequence.And when you…when you asked me to marry you…it felt…I didn’t know how it felt.But, yes.I’ll marry you.Maybe it is fast and maybe it is crazy, but I want it, too.How could I not?If you think, even for a second, that I wouldn’t, then maybe you’re not as clever as you think you are.”

More silence.Laurent’s back was still to him, but he’d stopped petting the horse.Then slowly he turned and stared at Damen for a long time.Damen stared back.It was all he could think to do.It was so incredibly hard to hold that gaze. 

Laurent came closer, his chest heaving, and then he settled his head against Damen’s chest.“Don’t touch me,” he whispered.

Damen wouldn’t have dreamed of it. 

“I may have overreacted,” Laurent said, after a moment.

“Do you think?” Damen said.

He could feel the growl reverberating against his chest.Maybe the words had been too bold, but he couldn’t help how he felt.Laurent was still breathing hard and then words started to pour from his mouth.Slow and quiet at first, gaining speed as he went, into something frantic.“I don’t know how to do this.I have no fucking idea.The longer your silence went on, the more I thought and…I’m so far out from everything I know and understand, Damen, and I don’t want it to stop, but…I’m not in control.I am not in control and I hate it.And it makes no sense to me, because I’m happy.I’m happy,” he whispered, “I couldn’t even recall what that felt like by the time you came into my life.I’m happy and I’m not in control and it terrifies me.Every instinct is telling me to end you, shut you out, break your heart, but I’ve already tried all of those things and they didn’t work.Why do you keep coming back to me, after everything I’ve done?Why don’t you hate me?”A long pause, “It would be much easier if you hated me.”

Damen had expected every wall to be up, but, instead, every single wall was down.Even walls Damen hadn’t known existed.He disobeyed Laurent’s order and embraced him tightly.He didn’t answer Laurent’s questions, he just held him close until he could feel Laurent relax into him, until he couldn’t hear the sound of Laurent’s breathing over his own.Then he murmured, “I could never hate you.”

“You did once.You should.”

“I forgive you, Laurent.For all of it.”

Damen hadn’t expected him to say anything in return.He strung his arm around Laurent’s waist and said, “Come to bed.”

Laurent shook his head.“I’m going to stay out here for a while.”

“Alright.Promise me you won’t stay out here all night.”

“I promise.”

Damen stepped back from Laurent and trudged back past the stalls.At the entrance, he stopped and looked back at Laurent who had returned to the horse, petting it’s flank now.There was a brief moment, the moonlight hitting the planes of his face just right, where Damen thought he was looking at a boy.A beautiful and broken boy who was about to grow up in the hardest way possible.A boy who liked the company of horses and preferred reading to almost anything else.A boy who didn’t deserve the way he was about to tear himself to pieces.

 

Laurent wandered into his room a little before dawn.  Damen was asleep on the bed, the slow, deep breathing permeating the silence.  Laurent deftly unwound the laces enclosing his arms and neck, before kneeling on the bed beside Damen.  Sinking onto the back of his heels, he watched the rise and fall of Damen’s shoulders.  Tentatively, he extended a hand to the sheet covering up Damen’s back and drew it down.  Damen didn’t wake.  Apparently, he was a heavy sleeper.

The sky was light enough that Laurent could make out the peaked skin of scars, the mangled skin.It had been beautiful once.

He ran a finger down one of the lines, but retracted the finger quickly, as though the scar had burned him. 

Then he tried again and didn’t stop this time.He traced every single scar, forcefully extinguishing the sounds of the lashes hitting Damen’s back that had pondered echoing in his ears.Brushing the scars, he almost regretted what he’d done.

Not that he should.Damen had killed Auguste and, at the time, that had been all that mattered.Laurent wouldn’t change what he’d done.He wouldn’t.

_I forgive you, Laurent.For all of it._

Watching Damen sleeping peacefully in his bed almost convinced him.He really was beautiful.Laurent allowed himself a moment to consider that fact, stroking the skin on Damen’s back in a different way, more reverent.Laurent let the moment continue a beat longer so he could bask in how lucky he was for having Damen, how much he didn’t deserve him.

Had he forgiven Damen for killing Auguste?

Yes.

But had he forgiven himself for forgiving Damen?

No.

And that was not something even Damen could give him.Damen, who had already given him so much, who would continue to give until he had nothing left.Just like Auguste.

Laurent laid down on his side and moved his hand down to stroke Damen’s arm.He hadn’t stirred, not once.It made Laurent want to test the extents of that ability, to know the breaking point.Another time, perhaps.Damen would have cause for complaint if he woke with Laurent still awake, rubbing his eyes blearily, and Damen didn’t need another thing to complain about.

Maybe tonight, his uncle wouldn’t prowl in his footsteps, in Damen’s footsteps.Maybe tonight, with Damen returned to him, he would leave them be.

As he closed his eyes, Laurent knew the dreams would come.He’d never been good at wishing or dreaming.

 

Damen rolled over in the morning to see Laurent there and asleep.For a moment, he considered waking him, but there was no way to tell when he’d come in last night.He could’ve just fallen asleep for all Damen knew.

Damen moved in minuscule movements until he was sitting up on the edge of the bed.Then he stood, pulled on the chiton pooled at the side of the bed, pinned it and then opened the door to ask one of the guards standing there to stop the next servant and ask for food.Once that was done, he returned to the reclining couch he’d occupied last night and finished the book he’d started.

Laurent still wasn’t awake when he read the last page and the food, piping hot pieces of bread, tea, and assorted meats, were now cooling.He ate one more piece of bread and then strolled over to the bed and ran a hand down Laurent’s cheek while murmuring his name.

The blue eyes opened instantly and any worry Damen had about where they stood after last night disappeared, when Laurent gave a radiant smile.He wrangled his way to a upright position in bed, the blankets still tangled around his legs, and yawned.“Something smells wonderful,” he said.

Damen grabbed a silver platter, curlicues carved around the edges, and loaded it with almost all of the food left.He set it on Laurent’s lap and then made a spot for himself on the edge of the bed, leaning his chin on top of Laurent’s knees.

“Going to watch me eat?”

“I don’t have anything else to do.”

“Not entirely true.”

“What should I be doing, then?”

“You could draw up the treaty.”

“Don’t you have someone for that?” Damen asked.“If you would even designate the task to another, that is.”

“I do,” Laurent conceded, placing a chunk of bread he’d ripped from the whole delicately into his mouth.“But the less anybody knows, the better.You can write Veretian, yes?”

“Of course,” Damen said.

Laurent smiled at that.“Then get started.”

“You’re awfully demanding.”

He curled a finger and motioned for Damen to come forward.Damen did, placing his cheek right against Laurent’s and Laurent whispered into his ear, “You like it.”He said the words slow and they were dripping in innuendo.Then he shifted and kissed Damen softly, before putting a hand on his sternum and pushing him away hard.“Besides,” he said, in a much more normal tone, as Damen sat stupefied, “consider it a first draft.I’ll rewrite the whole thing later, I’m sure.”

“Why don’t you just write it?” Damen finally managed to say after he stifled thoughts of pinning Laurent into the sheets and giving that mouth of his something better to do.

“Because I’m eating.”He popped a piece of ham into his mouth to emphasize that fact.

“Fine,” Damen grumbled as he walked over to Laurent’s desk and grabbed a quill and blank sheets of parchment.

He wrote most of the morning.When Laurent had finished eating, he’d watched Damen silently for a while before falling back to sleep.His face was peaceful and open and Damen smiled softly, trying to focus on that instead of how little sleep Laurent must’ve been getting.Damen had seen him go days without sleep with ease and no complaints.If he was having trouble staying awake right after breakfast, then his comment about being unable to sleep was more serious than Damen had ever imagined.

In the afternoon, a yawn shattered through Damen’s focus.Laurent was once again awake, his eyes sparkling.Damen placed the treaty on the bedside table and leaned over, kissing Laurent soundly.“Hello, sleepyhead.”

“Did you finish?”

Damen sighed, shaking his head in mock irritation and handed over what he’d completed.It wasn’t quite finished, but it was more than enough for Laurent to work with.Laurent nodded as he read it over and then said, “Apparently, you learned something other than sword fighting and battle tactics.”

“I was expected to rule a country.”

“Akielos,” Laurent amended, bending over the parchment.He extended a hand out to Damen.Damen grudgingly placed the quill on the open palm and then crossed his arms over his chest. 

“You know,” he said, “It might be easier to convince our people combining Akielos and Vere is the right thing to do if we overlook our own prejudices.”

“I’m teasing, Damen,” Laurent said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.His brow was furrowed as he scratched against the parchment, the muscles in his back tense, one of his hands cupping his neck.Damen was moderately impressed Laurent could go from sleep to intense focus so swiftly.

Unfortunately for Laurent, however, Damen now had nothing to do.And while spending all day in bed was not a dismal prospect in his mind, doing so with nothing to occupy himself was.Besides, Damen found the crinkle in Laurent’s forehead and his admirable dedication to be extremely attractive.He wanted to see if he could break through that focus. Damen leaned over and kissed Laurent’s neck up to his ear and flicked the lobe playfully with his tongue, before moving to the jaw line.Laurent’s hand, the one behind his neck, had received new orders, mainly waving Damen away.A couple of Laurent’s fingers finally managed to slap against his cheek and Damen, growling, captured the hand in his mouth and began sucking the fingertips.He watched Laurent as he did so.A flush was rising in his cheeks but his eyes were still very determinedly on the paper, his other hand still writing something in the margins.

“Damen, I need my hand.”

Damen considered protesting, but released it in exchange for moving aside Laurent’s shirt and kissing the curve between his neck and shoulder.His skin still smelled faintly of horse, but it was pleasantly warm, a bit salty, and Damen could feel Laurent’s heart racing.He was certainly more distracted than he was letting on.

But, somehow, his composure was still firmly in place and his hand was still writing perfectly legible words.There were a couple of ways Damen knew he could finally break it.He decided on the way he was least confident about, because it was significantly less terrifying.He trailed kisses back up Laurent’s neck, to his ear, and murmured, “I want to make love to you.Press you into the sheets, until the only word you know is my name.”He made sure to say it in Veretian, the sounds more suited for lovemaking and sensuality.

Laurent’s entire body faltered.There was an obvious attempt to continue writing, but it was as though all thoughts had flown from his brain and he could come up with nothing to put down on the paper.Finally, in a breathless voice, he said, “If you insist on distracting me like this in the future, nothing is ever going to get done.”

“The world will still be here in an hour.What could possibly happen?”

“Anything,” Laurent murmured, but he turned his head a fraction nonetheless, and surrendered his lips to Damen’s.Damen moved on top of him, setting the treaty onto the bedside table as he did so, and deepened the kiss as he ground down onto Laurent.

 

Later, they were curled around each other underneath the sheets and Laurent’s head and arms were draped across Damen’s chest.Damen had a hand in Laurent’s hair, stroking it softly.The sun was lowering in the sky and that fact was obviously disturbing Laurent.His eyes were fixated on the window.

“Do you ever relax?” Damen asked.

“Not often.”

“Do we need to sign it today?”

Laurent considered.“No, but…”

“But what?”

“We’ve accomplished nothing all day.I like to have finished the day with the knowledge that something was done.”

“This is good for you then.”

Laurent was silent.

“Is it that important to you?”

“I don’t know.All I’m saying is that I’ve never spent all day in bed and it’s strange.Not only that, it’s making me uneasy,” Laurent said.

Damen sighed, wrapped a hand around Laurent’s waist, and shifted both of them up into a sitting position.Laurent was staring up at Damen with obvious surprise, making Damen chuckle.It hadn’t even required half of his strength.Laurent was lithe and small.It really shouldn’t surprise him.

Laurent’s face turned from surprise to that odd observant stare he’d used to give Damen all of the time; as though something in his carefully cultivated world view had shifted slightly and a whole new realm of possibilities were open to him. 

“What are you thinking?” Damen asked.

Laurent flushed hard and then said, “Finish and sign this treaty and I may tell you.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Thank you,” Laurent grinned, as though it was something to actually be proud of.“I require a new sheet of parchment.”

“And I suppose you want me to get it?”

“Yes.”

Damen got out of bed, goosebumps burgeoning on his skin.He picked up a new piece of parchment and hurried back to the bed, anxious to be back under the covers.As he was doing so, he said, “I think, perhaps, we should play a game sometime.”

“What game would that be?”

“I get to order you around.”

“But you’re already so good at doing what I say,” Laurent replied, accepting the new piece of parchment.Right away, he began copying the treaty, replacing Damen’s words with the words he’d written in the margins.

“It’s almost like I was your slave,” Damen grumbled.

“It is, isn’t it?” Laurent replied, his head bent down over the pieces of parchment, his bangs falling down, covering his face from view.

Silence followed, a silence where Damen explicitly considered all of the places he could bite Laurent and leave a mark.Unfortunately, the damn Veretian clothing would cover all of them up, so he spent the next moments coming up with ways to convince Laurent to wear a chiton.Laurent, on the other hand, had stopped writing and was watching Damen intently.

“What?” Damen asked.

There was a struggle in Laurent’s eyes, but he finally murmured, “Turn around.”

Damen did, trying to mask his confusion, and when Laurent placed a cool, slightly shaking hand against the scars on his back, Damen almost sprung off the bed.It took every ounce of his will to stay still.It was even harder when Laurent’s lips were against his skin.Damen turned, trying to get a glimpse of Laurent’s face.He couldn’t quite, but he noticed Laurent was rigid, a sort of tense that Damen hadn’t seen since that sword fight in Marlas.The experience eerily echoed the one of Laurent kissing the scar Auguste had given him.

“You don’t have to,” Damen said.

Laurent pulled back his lips, but not his fingers and said, “I wouldn’t change what I did to you, but I am sorry.I’m so sorry.”His voice wavered on the last “sorry” and Damen flipped over, locking eyes with Laurent.They were brimming with tears, but none fell.In fact, Damen wasn’t entirely sure he hadn’t imagined it, they were pushed down so quickly.

“Couldn’t have known you’d fall in love with me,” Damen whispered, reaching up and stroking Laurent’s cheek.Laurent closed his eyes, giving into the touch, and gave a watery laugh.It felt wrong to think of it now, the moment so raw and honest, but Damen could see how easy it would be for the Regent to manipulate the death of Auguste.A younger Laurent especially.But even this Laurent, his Laurent, desired affection when he was upset, something Damen wouldn’t have predicted.It was a desire he obviously tried to stifle.

“No,” Laurent said, “In fact, I was convinced at the time you’d be dead by my hand before long."

“Me as well.It was a very compelling idea, actually.I spent lots of time imagining, in explicit detail, all of the ways I could kill you.”

Laurent laughed again.“As does everyone else.”He kissed Damen desperately, slipping his fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging hard.

With one more quick peck, he went back to the treaty.Damen watched his hand move across the page for a while, then stood to light the lanterns.It wasn’t dark in the room yet, but it would be soon.A servant came in bearing food and while he was placing it on the table, Laurent asked if he would assemble the Council in the cabinet room.The servant bowed and scurried out.Damen brought the plate of food over to the bed, when he finished lighting the lamps and picked at it, leaving half for Laurent, not that he showed any signs of eating anytime soon.

“You haven’t eaten since breakfast,” Damen observed.

“I’m busy at the moment,” Laurent replied, “It can wait.”

“Have you gone a day without eating before?”Damen was genuinely curious.There wasn’t a moment Damen could’ve ever gotten away with that.He was big and did physically draining exercise almost daily.If he didn’t eat for an entire day, it would likely be an unattractive scene.

“Yes.Now, please shut up.I have to reread this and get dressed before the Council gets restless.”

“I could feed you.”

Laurent sighed, but waved his hand, adding a sentence at the end of the treaty.Damen ripped of a chunk of the chicken and placed it just outside Laurent’s closed lips.Laurent opened them and Damen placed it on his tongue.As he removed his fingers from Laurent’s mouth, Damen swiped his bottom lip with his thumb.

“You can’t feed me if you’re going to try and distract me,” Laurent said.Damen smiled and his body thrilled at the thought that a simple swipe of his thumb could get Laurent thinking about things wholly unsavory.He made sure, though, to keep the rest of the interactions relatively modest.

“Alright,” Laurent declared, “I’m satisfied.Would you like to read over it?”

“Yes,” Damen replied.

As he did so, Laurent removed himself from bed, called for a servant, and pulled out the clothes he wished to wear.A servant entered and helped Laurent get laced up.Damen watched out of the corner of his eye, feeling strangely jealous again.It still felt like something he should be doing for Laurent. 

Laurent caught him staring once and smiled, shaking his head in disbelief.“You really were jealous of Isander, weren’t you?”

Damen ignored him and finished reading the treaty.It was explicit and blunt and laid out everything they had discussed.It was formal and it showed no hints of what was actually to come, not that the Council would be particularly tricked.The point wasn’t to trick them, however.Damen was happy to see quite a few of his phrasings made it into the final copy.

When the servant left, Damen slipped out of the covers and pulled on a fresh chiton from his saddlebags.Laurent observed him and said, “You’re going to get very cold once winter hits.”

“You’ll just have to make me something Veretian.”

Laurent raised his eyebrows.“That could be arranged,” he said, slowly.“Before we go, I wanted to talk to you about something.”He stepped closer and removed the lion pin from Damen’s hands, pinning it into place himself.

“What?”

“We didn’t get to properly discuss Jokaste after I…do you have any ideas where she might be?In Akielos?Vere?Across the ocean?”

“She wouldn’t have crossed the sea.”

“I agree.”He paused, “There’s a simple way we can go about this and a complicated way.”

“Let’s do the simple one,” Damen said.

“It’s less fun,” Laurent said, as though it would change Damen’s mind.Damen stared and thought that Laurent was trying to pout.His lower lip jutted out slightly and his eyes were wide.It was working, too.

“How about you tell me the logistics of both options?”

“She’s a kingmaker, which means she is used to a certain level of comfort and power.I don’t know how well she knows you, but judging by your painfully consistent honesty, she likely knows you just as well as I do, possibly even better, which means she knows what she has in the form of your nephew.I think it’s likely she’s biding her time, waiting, making sure she knows you won’t kill her for what she did to you, and then she’ll offer contact with her son, on the condition she travels with him.The simple way is we declare we want your nephew and she’ll come forward.The risk of the simple plan is it might unconsciously reveal parts of our plan before we’re ready.The complicated plan involves more cloak and dagger.The upside is our plan stays intact, the downside is Jokaste might not be easily convinced.If we do the simple plan, I would prefer to wait until more is set in stone.If we do the complicated plan, we could start tomorrow.”

“I can be patient,” Damen said.

“You know it’s the game I like,” Laurent said, pouting some more.Damen laughed, charmed at yet another side of Laurent’s personality, and curled his arm around Laurent’s waist, bringing them flush together.He pecked Laurent on the lips and said, “We’ll see.Let’s go get this over with.”

“They’ll be perfectly civil.”

“I’m an Akielon barbarian, remember?”

“They’ll be civil,” Laurent said, a hardness behind his eyes.Suddenly Damen was very glad he was not a member of the Veretian Council.It felt strange having Laurent wish to protect him outright, without pretense.No, strange wasn’t the right word.It was breathtaking. 


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to keep obsessively thanking all of you...thank you, thank you, thank you! My life has been made considerably brighter because of this fic and a large part of that is due to all of you :)  
> We get to meet the Council this chapter, which I had lots of fun with, mostly because not a whole lot of information was given about each member. One word descriptors for most, to be honest, so I just built up around those. I hope the results are to your liking.  
> Please enjoy!

The night before, after both he and Laurent had gotten dressed, the servant tasked with waking up the Council returned and stated that none besides Herode were interested in waking in the middle of the night.Laurent had gazed at the messenger for a moment, before he strolled from the room.Damen hadn’t followed, figuring Laurent was best left alone.

When Laurent had returned, he’d said that the meeting was going to take place in the morning.Then he’d crawled into bed and ignored Damen for the rest of the night.Damen spent most of the night imagining how horrifying the meeting was going to be.Laurent was in a toxic mood and it was going to carry over.

Now, they were at the head of a long, beautifully polished table and the entire Council was crowded around Audin, who had the treaty in front of him, gesturing and speaking over each other.They were yelling, all fighting to be heard over the other.Damen kept his eyes focused downwards, feeling as though he was somewhere he didn’t belong, and Laurent was watching cooly, his arms crossed, sprawled out in his chair.Waves of disgust and displeasure were rolling off of him.

“How long can they do this?” Damen whispered into Laurent’s ear at one point.

“A very long time,” Laurent sighed.“The more they yell at each other, the less they yell at us, however.”

“I know very well that doesn’t disturb you.”

Laurent smiled gently, turning his face away from the spectacle in front of him and towards Damen.It was nice to see his wrath was not aimed at Damen in the slightest.“No.I thought it might disturb you, though.I know you do not like Veretian politics.”

“I’d rather listen to you eviscerate them than listen to this,” Damen said, “It would be more productive, at least.”

“Would you?Very well.Shall we have some fun?”

“What is with you and fun recently?”

“I haven’t had nearly enough of it,” Laurent said.He brought his face very close to Damen’s, everything but his blue eyes blurring out of focus, wound a finger down Damen’s cheek, and kissed him.Damen could feel himself flushing, the kiss already beyond public decency in Akielos, but his mouth opened under Laurent’s teasing one nonetheless, the temptation being too great.Only when Laurent pulled away, his eyes brimming with laughter, did Damen realize the room was silent.So silent, he could heart his heart beating rapidly and his breath coming out in ragged gasps.He quickly straightened in his chair and focused intently on slowing his breath.

Finally, he grudgingly glanced up and saw every member of the Council looking at him and Laurent as though they were obscure mythical beasts in the flesh.He could feel Laurent battling against laughter beside him.Damen thought their expressions strange for a moment, considering what they and their pets engaged in on a regular basis, but then he heard various voices floating through his head.

_Cast iron bitch.A twisty, vicious fiend who you should never, ever cross.You see a panther opening its jaws, you don’t get your dick out._

Damen surprised himself in realizing he’d forgotten these things about Laurent.Not completely, but enough that the shock on the faces of the Council struck him as odd.The only Laurent they knew was the frigid one who had sex every ten years, and here he was, sensually kissing the Akielon King who had murdered his brother.While the rumors insisted they were fucking, Damen saw now just how much credit those rumors had actually been given, especially by those who thought they knew Laurent.More of a joke than a reality.

“Tell me all of the reasons this is a bad idea,” Laurent said genially.There was a smile plastered on his face.They might’ve seen it as politeness and interest, but Damen knew he was simply looking forward to taking all of their reasons and turning them against themselves. Multiple voices rose at once as all moved back to their respective chairs, some calling out Damen, asking for him to leave the room, as though this treaty didn’t concern him at all.It was hard to pinpoint where those comments came from, but the moment they reached Laurent’s ears, a hand shot up and the voices ceased once more.It was wise of them to listen to orders now, especially after the debacle last night.Damen tried not to cringe as he imagined the words about to leave Laurent’s mouth.He was so angry.The Council likely didn’t comprehend just how much.

“If I hear one more slur or insinuation that Damianos does not belong here, I will gladly flay you or a member of your family.Don’t worry, I’d let you choose.Just ask Damianos here how seriously I take that threat.”

Damen thought it seemed a little drastic, but he wasn’t going to raise his voice against Laurent’s in public.Much of his power rested in the careful manipulation of his public image, something Damen knew the Council and everyone else still had to believe in.Every member clearly remembered the garish scars on Damen’s back from the day Laurent had been stripped of most of his holdings, because they averted their eyes.Vannes and Herode even provided generous apologies.Damen suspected they were not the culprits, but he appreciated it all the same.

There was a long moment of silence where Laurent was flicking his eyes between his Council members, eyebrows raised.Finally Audin said, “Your Highness, this is unwise.”

“Alright,” Laurent said, reasonably, more reasonably than these people deserved, “Why?”

“While I’m sure the Ak…His Highness is honorable, we are simply giving too much for…for Delfeur.It’s rightfully ours in the first place, and…”

“It’s rightfully Akielos’ at the moment,” Laurent said.

“Yes, well, yes, but…”

Herode rolled his eyes at Audin and said, “Your Highness, it’s an incredibly poor disguise, which surprises me, coming from you.”

Audin and Jeurre looked incredibly confused at that comment, but Vannes was smiling gently and Chelaut was busy eating sweetmeats from a bowl he’d brought with him.Damen wasn’t entirely sure he was paying attention at all.

“Good.How can I disguise it better?Advise me.”

“I am not going to ponder how to make Vere and Akielos one for you,” Herode sighed.“It’s a very bad idea to do so.There will be riots, uprisings.We just finished a war at great expense.I’m not saying we can’t fund others, but it would be wise not to for awhile, to rebuild, to give the kingdom time to heal and get comfortable with you as their King.”

“The longer I wait, the more the confusion grows, the more the rift between our two kingdoms grows.I’d prefer not to allow that to happen.”

“But…” Herode begin.Laurent cut him off with a gesture.

“This is only a first step, Herode.I’m asking you to understand that nothing you say will stop me from following this path.I would genuinely like your help, a fresh set of eyes.How can I disguise this treaty better?”

There was a long pause and then Herode bowed his head, snatched the treaty from underneath Audin’s hands and began reading it over once more, attentively.Audin was staring at him as though he were insane.He muttered something in Herode’s ear, but Herode sternly ignored him.Laurent wasn’t smiling at all at that victory.Clearly he hadn’t anticipated Herode being a problem in the slightest.

Chelaut was peering at a piece of sweetmeat when he said, “There’s no way to convince you this is unwise?”

Laurent shook his head.

“Oh, very well,” Chelaut said.Jeurre looked as though he’d been betrayed and Chelaut said to him, popping the piece of sweetmeat in his mouth, “There’s no arguing with him, Jeurre.Might as well help him, instead.”Chelaut stood and bent forward over Herode’s chair, pointing something out to him and murmuring.Seeing this, Laurent pushed over a quill and inkwell he’d brought with him.Herode accepted it easily and began writing something in the margins.Damen sighed.There’d have to be yet another draft.

Jeurre and Audin were left and Damen anticipated they were going to be difficult, the real reasons Laurent looked settled in for a fight, besides the fact that he genuinely wanted one.Vannes hadn’t said anything yet, but he knew Laurent wouldn’t have left their dinner together without having won her over.

Jeurre was scowling and Audin was flicking his eyes back and forth between Jeurre and the others huddled around the treaty, as though he was unsure what he was supposed to be thinking.Laurent kept staring at them.

That’s when Vannes spoke up, looking to Laurent before she did, as though asking for permission.“Akielos and Vere have a lot to offer one another,” she said.“Akielos is a small military country that has much it could teach us of fighting and battle tactics.If we joined with them we’d be nigh unstoppable.I’ve heard their country is beautiful and they have many fruits growing there in abundance that none of us have ever tasted.Yes, there will be riots, Audin.There could even be a revolt, but it will cost us less in the long run to solve the prejudices between the two countries now then never solving them at all.It’s not like they’re going to go away and, finally, Vere and Akielos have two kings who get along and wish to better the situation.I, for one, choose to hope.I choose to believe that what they see in each other, we can see in the people of Akielos.”

“I do see your point about long run costs…” Audin said hesitantly.Laurent audibly sighed at that and Audin flushed lightly.

Jeurre said, “I don’t like it and I don’t like Akielons or it’s barbaric country.And it’s not like there’s going to be war between us anytime soon.These two are obviously in love, so who the fuck cares?I like Vere being Vere.I like Vere being separated from Akielos and I like that I don’t have to know a single word of that horseshit language.”

Damen bristled at that and said, “Is it so much worse than this country’s obsession with flower engravings, perfumes, and lying until no one knows the truth any longer?Manipulating and abusing, while giving it a veneer of shimmering excess?”

It wasn’t a particularly helpful comment, but he was angry.Damen thought Laurent was going to chastise him for bringing yet more prejudice into the conversation, but he stayed silent, even leaned back in his chair, as though waiting for an entertaining play to start.

Damen reigned in his anger and said slowly, “I’m sorry.I did not mean that.”Everyone at the table was surprised, even Laurent, though Damen thought it unlikely anybody besides him noticed.“I have come to love certain things about this culture and I have found much we have in common.The ornamentation is beautiful, artful.While I find the court to be disturbing, I have learned recently that, sometimes, punching holes through walls isn’t enough and that, perhaps, my court is not all that different. The people are interesting and diverse and it is not difficult to engage them in pleasant conversation.Akielons have the same problems as Veretians.We live similar lives.The points of difference become things we can learn and share, allowing for both our countries to grow in strength.I have seen the possibilities.Laurent and I managed to combine Veretian and Akielon forces with success, creating camaraderie and friendship.There is hope.It can be done.”

There was a long silence after his speech.He felt Laurent’s hand move under the table, to rest against his thigh.

“It still does me absolutely no good,” Jeurre grumbled.

“Fortunately, I don’t need your permission,” Laurent said.“I suggest, Councilor Jeurre, you become accustomed to the idea.”

“You’re not even of age yet, boy.Just because the rest of this Council felt bad enough to give you your crown, does not mean we can’t strip that right away and rule in your place until you turn twenty-one.”This must’ve been who delayed the meeting.Damen winced, complete in the knowledge that Laurent was prepared to tear him to pieces.

“Next time you fuck your cousin, Jeurre, give her my condolences.” 

Vannes seemed unfazed, though Damen saw a flicker of shock behind her eyes.Damen could see, in that moment, Audin flip to Laurent’s side.The remainder of the Council was staring at Jeurre with open mouths.Jeurre fumbled words briefly, before sputtering, “That is utterly preposterous!”

“I hear you might be expecting a child,” Laurent continued calmly.Damen saw those words ricochet around the room, landing on Jeurre.He saw them sink into Jeurre’s skin and reform him.Jeurre hadn’t known.At least, he was unaware of whatever Laurent thought he knew.There were about to be quite a few uncomfortable conversations in Jeurre’s family and household.

“Besides,” Laurent finished, “You can’t undo what’s been done.I’ve been coronated.You’re stuck with me.Aggravating, isn’t it?”

Jeurre looked sick.Herode was the only one at the table who had stopped paying attention to the destruction of Jeurre, his head bent back over the treaty, though Damen did notice that he was trying very hard not to laugh.Damen decided he liked Herode.

The silence began to grow uncomfortable, something Laurent didn’t seem to mind, as his hand crept slowly up Damen’s thigh, underneath his chiton, to his hip, where he rubbed slow circles with his thumb.Damen shifted in his chair and tried very hard to contain any sign of arousal.He was not going to give Laurent the satisfaction.The one bright spot was that Damen no longer noticed the silence, he was so focused on other things.

Herode was the one to break it.He didn’t speak of anything that had happened in the last five minutes and instead said, “I’ve added some small modifications, Your Highness.I would also suggest completely removing the clause about open borders.While it’s critical for what you’re trying to accomplish, it can be done at a later time.Everything else can easily be explained away as a fair trade for Delfeur.”

Laurent’s face was passive and closed off.His hand was still stroking circles, amazingly, as Damen was sure he was working his way through hundreds of steps of multiple complex problems and scenarios.Finally he nodded at Herode and Herode struck through the clause Damen had painstakingly written this morning.That had been one of the only things Laurent hadn’t fixed.He had a brief, childish desire to protest, but that was chased from his brain quickly as Laurent’s hand moved steadily inward.It was about to become unbearable.

He slid over in his chair and whispered in Laurent’s ear, “Stop.”

“I’d need a reason to.”

“Because…”Then Damen stopped.Being with Laurent wasn’t all that different from not being with him.All of the same rules applied.The less he let Laurent knew about what he wanted, the better it would turn out for him.Although, at this point, he thought it likely Laurent already knew exactly what he’d been going to say and it was a lost cause.

“Are all of these people unnerving my shy Akielon King?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm,” Laurent said, his thumb dipping harshly, brushing at the apex of his thigh, “You’re going to need…”

“I think it’s now to my satisfaction, Your Highness,” Herode interrupted.He slid the treaty to Vannes who glanced over it briefly before passing it on to Laurent, who exhaled sharply, and removed his hand from Damen’s thigh.He motioned for the quill, asked for a new piece of parchment, which Vannes had prepared—at Laurent’s suggestion most likely—and began copying the treaty yet again.The Councilors chatted among themselves as they did so.Damen noticed they failed to engage Jeurre in conversation, although it was possible that was because Jeurre had curled in on himself and looked to be having a very lengthy conversation of his own inside his head.Turning to Vannes, Damen asked, “Do you play cards?”It was the only thing he could think to say to her.A very neutral topic.

“I have been known to engage in the occasional game,” Vannes smiled, “But it’s mostly to find new material I can gossip about, you understand.”

“Ah yes,” Damen said, “I remember.”

“You find such things frivolous, don’t you?”

Damen didn’t want to be rude, so he pretended to ponder those words, while trying to come up with a polite way of saying yes.Vannes watched him for a moment, then burst into a pleasant, bell-like laughter.“It’s alright,” she said, laying a hand on his arm, “I already know the answer to that.You’re less intimidating when you’re not chained up.I’m not sure how that makes sense, but it’s true.”

“I’m not fond of being chained.”

“No.It makes sense now.”She looked at Damen a little longer, surveying him, and then continued, “I’ve known him a while, you know, and I’ve never been able to tell what he’s thinking or feeling about anything.But it’s different with you.He smiles, laughs.I’d forgotten how beautiful he really could be when he’s happy.”A long pause.Damen tried very hard not to look over his shoulder at Laurent, who he knew was definitely eavesdropping on this conversation.“It’s revolting,” Vannes said, “the way he looks at you when you’re not looking.When he thinks no one is looking.”

Damen grinned.“Can we expect the whole court to know by tomorrow morning?”

“Of course.I’m good at what I do, Exalted.”

Damen shifted in his chair and laughed silently at the flush in Laurent’s cheeks.He bent over and whispered, “Shy?”

Laurent ignored him, quill scurrying across the page.He was almost done in his exercise and Damen watched him finish, signing his name in a flourish at the bottom.He slid the treaty over to Damen and held out the quill for him.Damen accepted it, signing his name right beside Laurent’s.

Laurent stood.Damen followed his lead, unsure what else to do. 

“Councilor Herode, I trust you know what do with that.”Herode nodded.Laurent then scanned the rest of the members, before landing right on Juerre.“And I trust that, in the future, when I ask for a meeting, whatever the time, you will all be there.”And then Laurent was sweeping out of the room, Damen trailing after him.

“Want to spar?” Laurent said easily, as he strolled down the hall, nodding at some of the people he passed.

“I did promise Nikandros I’d beat you for him,” Damen said, as nonchalantly as possible.

“Maybe you won’t beat me.”

“I will, Laurent.”

“Aren’t you confident?”

“Yes.”

Laurent laughed, a loud, sprightly one that echoed off the walls.Closing his eyes, Damen tried to memorize the sound as it was still all too rare.

“It’s not like you to overestimate your skills,” Damen continued.

“I’m not overestimating, lover.There are certain things I can use that I couldn’t last time.”

“You mean, when you threw everything you had at me?Literally?”

Damen couldn’t see Laurent’s face, but there was a moment of silence, and Damen thought he might have heard a growl slip out.Damen bit his lip, trying to hide his grin at the idea that that sword fight was still able to rile Laurent up.

Laurent led the way to his private training yard and threw Damen a sword that was hanging on a wooden display case just outside of the padded ground.Damen hadn’t really been expecting it, but he still caught the sword with ease and dropped automatically into the familiar stance used for most athletic pursuits, legs spread, knees bent, upper body steady, eyes on the opponent. 

Laurent was circling lazily, though Damen knew it was just an act, that in less than a second, he could spring into a more appropriate stance, swerving out of an attack with light feet, the only slight advantage he had over Damen.

They fought for some time, Damen only gaining the upper hand a smattering of times.Laurent, however, was entirely unable to do so.Whenever it looked like Damen was going to win, he was sprayed in the face with dirt or Laurent kicked and elbowed him.If Damen had thought for even a second that Laurent’s penchant for using less than honorable tactics was going to disappear now that they weren’t trying to kill each other, he realized how wrong he was very quickly.What really pleased Damen was the realization that he would never be able to get used to Laurent’s brand of sword fighting, that each fight would provide some new challenge.There were new feints he hadn’t seen, new shifts of balance, new, clever thrusts, interesting ways of using Damen’s strength against him.But none of them would ever be enough to defeat him.Damen spent much of the sword fight watching for that moment, knowing Laurent would try and pull out his supposedly winning blow when he was least expecting it. 

Finally, it happened.It was the result of a quick set of parries that confused Damen, as they brought Laurent closer and closer into Damen’s space, a dangerous place for him to be because it put him at a severe disadvantage in strength.Their swords met, meeting strength for strength, Laurent barely holding on.Damen grimaced.He was confident in his ability to swing Laurent’s sword away, but he was entirely unsure why Laurent was letting it happen and that scared him.Suddenly, there was no strength at all behind the sword, it flew a long ways across the training field.Damen brought his sword down, hoping to bring it to Laurent’s neck only to find him not exactly where he thought he would be.Laurent was actually even closer, almost right against Damen’s chest and he was smiling beatifically.

Damen smiled back.He couldn’t help it.It didn’t stop him from bringing his sword up against Laurent’s neck, though.

He was about to ask Laurent to yield when Laurent laid an open-mouthed kiss against his chin, then his mouth. 

Damen barely had a thought when that happened, other than to wind his free arm around Laurent’s waist and pull him closer.He could feel Laurent chuckling into the kiss.He was against Damen’s lips for one second more and then he was gone again, leaving Damen with his eyes briefly closed and his body in a small amount of shock.Laurent hit his hand hard.Damen managed to keep a hold on the sword, but his arm did fall back slightly, away from Laurent’s neck, which Laurent took as an opportunity to duck and slither away, ending up behind Damen almost inhumanly fast, bringing the blade of a dagger up against his neck.

“Do you yield?” Laurent laughed into his ear, his breath labored.

“How come whenever I lose to you, it never feels fair?” Damen grumbled.

“Nothing is fair, Damen.”

“So I’ve been told.I would still like to argue that this is so unfair that it shouldn’t count.Nobody is going to kiss someone in the middle of a battle.It’s completely unrealistic.”

“Is it?I think that maybe it’s a tactic I should start using,” Laurent said.“It worked exceedingly well.”

Damen sighed and dropped his sword.Laurent dropped the knife from his neck and Damen took the opportunity to hook Laurent’s leg and kick it out from underneath him.When he had some distance, he spun, capturing Laurent in his arms and spinning both of them down to the ground, Damen landing on top.He slammed the dagger out of Laurent’s hand, took it for himself, and brought it up against the pale skin of Laurent’s neck.“Do you yield?”

Laurent’s eyes were sparkling.“Tie?”

“Tie,” Damen sighed, lifting himself off of Laurent and then giving him a hand up.They bumped shoulders and hands as they walked to return their swords.Once they did, they set off towards the gardens to have lunch.

“What will you tell Nikandros?”

“That I should’ve punched you instead.”

Laurent paused and then said, slowly, “Did he ask that of you?”

Damen nodded.

“Could he ever like me?”

Damen stopped walking.Laurent noticed immediately and sighed, steeling his shoulders, and turned to face Damen.His face was blank.“Do you want him to?” Damen asked.He was still running the previous words through his head.He thought, perhaps, it was one of the strangest things he’d ever heard Laurent say.It had never seemed like Laurent was desperate for companionship, or even looking.

Laurent stared and Damen didn’t sense an answer to his question coming anytime soon, so he brushed past Laurent, clasping their hands together as he did so, and continued walking towards the gardens.He was pretty sure he could find them even if Laurent didn’t take the lead.

Neither of them said a word.It wasn’t uncomfortable, but Damen did notice it.They ended up on a stone bench, tucked away on the side of a path in the shadows.He took the time to stare at the leafy fronds of the trees shading their bench and the dust that clouded whenever he shuffled his feet.It wasn’t until their food came and Laurent could distract himself with peeling a banana, that he spoke.“I don’t need him to like me.”

“That’s not what I asked.” 

“It doesn’t matter.I’m not sure I could like him,” Laurent said.

“And why’s that?”

Laurent gazed at him as he popped a ripped section of the banana into his mouth.Damen sensed he was already supposed to know the answer to that question.“Don’t tell me it’s because he’s Akielon,” Damen sighed.

A flash of surprise.“No.Of course not.That would be…”

“Foolish?”

“Yes.”

Damen waited.

“I don’t have friends, Damen.”

“So?I know you’re capable of making them.More than one child with a magic trick up their sleeve could attest to that.I can attest to that.”

“Children are different.”

“How?” Damen asked.

“All they want is to feel safe and loved.”

“I’m not sure I…”

“It’s unwise to trust the way you do.”

It all clicked, suddenly.As ever, Damen could feel the lingering hand of the Regent.“Maybe so.But Laurent, there is no one, besides you, I trust more than Nikandros.I can promise you that he won’t hurt you, if for no other reason than it would hurt me.”

Laurent stared for another couple of bites of banana and then he said, “Let’s drop it,” as he wiped his hands clean from juice against his pants.

Damen wasn’t going to press the issue, not now, not here.Instead, he lifted himself off of the bench and into a patch of sunlight, where he laid down.He really would need Veretian clothing made for him.This was the first time he’d felt truly warm all day, excluding the sparring.Closing his eyes, he could hear Laurent’s laughter bubbling to the surface.“Fond of the sun?” Laurent said.

“Shut up,” Damen growled, eyes still closed.He only opened them when he felt a hand brush his and then he peered to his side, where Laurent was reclining beside him.He was resting on his elbows instead of resting his head on the ground as Damen was, but he smiled up into the sunlight and Damen could see his muscles unwinding.

“There aren’t many of these days left,” Laurent said.“It will be fall soon.”

“Is it beautiful?”

“No fall in Akielos?”

“Not really.Not much in the way of any season, actually.”

“It is,” Laurent said.“We should stay until the leaves start turning color.”

“Alright.”

“But we can’t,” Laurent sighed.

“And why’s that?”

“You’re needed in Akielos.I’m not needed here, not immediately.Besides, once we return to Akielos, we can send Nikandros back to the border.He needs to be there with Jord; symbolize peace.”

“Suits me fine,” Damen smiled, thinking about Jord and Nikandros and all of the possibilities there for his friend. 

“You noticed too?”

“What?”

“Jord and Nikandros,” Laurent said.

“Yes, I…wait, how have you noticed anything at all?You haven’t seen either of them.”

“Jord sends me regular updates.The first letter he ever sent me mentioned Nikandros at least ten times.Even after he left, Jord still found ways to mention him.”

“That would please Nikandros to hear,” Damen said.“When did you want to leave for Akielos?”It wasn’t that Damen didn’t want to go home, but he’d just gotten here.The prospect of another two-week trip on a horse didn’t appeal to him much.

It was as though Laurent was reading his mind.“Don’t worry,” he chuckled.“Not for a while yet.”

More comfortable silence.Damen curled his hand into Laurent’s and brought both of them to rest on his chest.A woman and her lavishly painted pet passed them by.They made no comments but Damen could hear their whispering and giggling, once they’d thought themselves far enough away.He had to admit, they probably did look strange.

They spent much of the rest of their day in the gardens, walking around and enjoying the sun, talking.They hadn’t talked this way before, without an end time, without restraint, with little thought for what their next topic of conversation would be.Laurent was incredibly easy to talk to, his answers always bright and inquisitive and capable of prompting a response.More than once, Damen thought how incredibly lucky he was to even have the privilege to talk with Laurent on a daily basis.No one else got this kind of access.

Nothing important was discussed.There were numerous occasions when they’d been veering towards important topics and Laurent expertly steered them away, launching into a story about the first time he’d seen snow (something Damen had yet to see) or a tale of him and Auguste playing various pranks on members of the Veretian court.

Finally, when the sun began to set, they wandered inside.They returned to Laurent’s room where they took their dinner and then Laurent spent the evening reading a book of poetry to Damen.Damen didn’t really have a mind for it, hardly ever understood what it was saying, but it sounded beautiful and Laurent had an ear for rhythm and timing.That prompted Damen to ask:

“Is there anything you’re bad at?”

“Many things, Damen.”

“I’m not sure I believe you.Can you sing?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

Laurent rolled his eyes and sang a short Veretian nursery rhyme, one his father had sung to him.His voice wasn’t deep or soulful, but it was beautiful and unadorned and pure.He hit every note without difficulty.Damen thought he’d like to hear more sometime.Laurent challenged him to sing as well, but Damen laughed, shaking his head.“That’s not a gift I was given.”

He continued listing things, all of which Laurent was confident he could do passably well.It ended when Damen reached drawing and Laurent admitted that was not something he was skilled in. Irritation flickered over his face that Damen had found something, making Damen laugh.

Afterwards, they removed their clothes and made love.Later, they curled against each other in bed.Laurent’s back was pressed to Damen’s chest and he murmured, “Tell me something you’ve never told anyone else.”

Damen racked his brain, trying to come up with a story or a thought that he hadn’t told Nikandros or Kastor.“I almost ran away from Ios once,” he said.“When it first became clear my father could be dying.I was going to cross the sea, I had passage aboard a ship and everything.I wanted to go somewhere no one knew me, where no one could even have a chance of knowing me.Take some money and set myself up in a small place, maybe fish for a living.I completely panicked, sure I could never live up to my father and almost positive that I did not want to try.”

“What stopped you?” Laurent asked.

“I realized that if my father truly was dying, I wanted to be by his side when he did and that being King was my duty, not one an honorable man would run from,” Damen murmured.“I didn’t want to leave Jokaste either.”

“You loved her.”

Damen nodded.“I did,” he said, in case Laurent hadn’t felt his nod against the top of his head.

Laurent flipped in Damen’s arms so he could see him and slip his fingers into the dark waves of hair.He reached up, kissing Damen gently, and then disentangled himself from Damen’s arms, walking across the room to pour himself a glass of water.When he came back, he didn’t return to Damen’s arms, but sat on the edge of the bed, his legs curled up underneath him.He took another sip of water and Damen noticed his hands were shaking slightly.

“Laurent?” he said, sitting up in concern.A cool expression met his movements, stilling them.

“I’m going to tell you something.I need you to stay where you are.You are not allowed to interrupt or ask questions.You are not allowed to do anything without my express permission.”

“You don’t need to tell me, Laurent.Ever.”

“I want to,” he said.His hands were still shaking and he was clutching the glass of water like it was the only thing tethering him to the earth.Damen got the distinct impression Laurent didn’t want to tell him, that he was forcing himself to.But he wasn’t going to argue.He wasn’t going to say anything until Laurent had finished and even then…

“I’m not sure where to…” Laurent began.Damen steeled himself during the pause.Laurent’s voice was already wavering slightly and Damen wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t going to end up punching walls and breaking windows.Or, at least, finding the Regent’s rooms and trashing them.It didn’t seem to matter he no longer lived there.

“At the beginning I suppose,” Laurent murmured to himself.Then, “I was thirteen.Auguste and my father had just died.”


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the hardest chapter to write so far. I hope I treated it okay....cuz lord it's hard, anyways...  
> You guys have been amazing as usual and I owe you all the world.  
> Posting this early because I've been sick and getting this ready for you guys has been the only thing that hasn't sucked.  
> Love you all :)  
> Enjoy!

“I slept every night for a week in the stables beside Auguste’s horse.It was the only place I felt safe.Every corner of the castle felt like a creeping shadow and everyone was a stranger, even the few friends I had.

“On the eighth day, my uncle found me.I hadn’t had a bath in days, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten and…he smiled.I can picture that smile perfectly, as though he was standing right there,” Laurent whispered, gesturing vaguely in front of himself, “It was kind and familiar and he opened his arms and I rushed in, glad for someone, anyone.”His voice was less shaky now, but it was still barely above a whisper and Damen was already struggling with the rules set down for him by Laurent.Not that he’d ever break them, but he could already feel his heart cracking around the edges.

“He became all I had, the only person I spent time with, the only person I trusted.I used to trust people, Damen,” Laurent laughed morosely and then took a long pause.Damen said nothing as he’d promised.Implicitly, anyways.

“I’m still unsure what changed, when he started asking for…things.By then, I’d heard of his proclivities and there was even a period of time where…where I was pleased.Pleased he’d chosen me, because it meant he found me beautiful, special, precious.I felt like I was worth something and that wasn’t an easy thing to feel after I’d lost everything.”

There was another long pause and Damen’s heart was aching.He knew the last thing Laurent would want was pity, but it was so hard to watch him struggle through this, so hard to imagine that this person, this beautiful, engaging person, could still be so beautiful having gone through something so ugly.

“He was my uncle,” Laurent murmured, his voice flat.“I knew that was wrong.Vile.But in that first year, whenever we went to Charcy, that was where he…we…I wanted to.I wanted to please him so that he wouldn’t ever leave.I couldn’t lose someone else.”Laurent lifted his eyes to Damen’s.The breath was knocked out from him at the fear there.Fear that Damen would think less of him, would spurn him.Damen knew he wasn’t supposed to touch or say anything so he did the only thing he could think of.He raised his hand in the air.

Laurent moved back slightly and then stared at him in disbelief.“Something you’d like to say?”

Damen knew the danger present in the room right now.If he said the wrong thing, more than just this moment would come crashing down.He laboriously practiced different phrasings in his head before saying quickly, “Please.Let me hold your hand, at least.”

“You…”Laurent stopped himself.He didn’t say another word, just reached out and slid his hand into Damen’s warm palm.Damen didn’t curl his fingers around Laurent’s, just let his hand rest there, let Laurent take whatever comfort he wanted.

There was a long whoosh of breath, Laurent’s eyes flickering shut for a moment, before he found his footing again and the words picked back up, “I learned to give pleasure, to swallow, to take his cock without oil, without noise.It became abundantly clear to me during this time that I was far from the only young boy who’d been put through the exact same…tutelage.

“Everything changed when I started becoming aroused.”The last word was forced out between clenched teeth.Damen fought hard to keep still.Laurent’s fingers curled tight around Damen’s hand. “He didn’t like that, which I learned very quickly.I became skilled in stifling reaction.As long as I didn’t come or moan, nothing truly bad would happen.I began to understand, however, that it wasn’t going to last.I had talked to some of the boys who’d…come before me.I began to understand that he was going to leave me, that I was going to be alone again, that there was no point in pleasing him any longer.Those were the hardest days.My main focus became delaying trips to Charcy in any way I could, defying my uncle at every turn.I…” Laurent trailed off.He turned his face away from Damen and sat in silence, clenching Damen’s hand hard.Nails were digging into Damen’s flesh, most likely drawing blood.

Damen wasn’t sure what to do.The only thing he could come up with was telling Laurent the honest truth.It was the pattern.The way he surprised Laurent, the way he broke through Laurent’s walls.He was going to have to talk.He reminded himself that Laurent was done talking, so it wasn’t technically interrupting.That only slowed his heartbeat slightly.Everything was on a knife point.

“I’m so sorry, Laurent,” he said, slowly, allowing Laurent time to cut him off.“I want to…”Damen took a deep breath, uncurling his left fist, trying to drive out the debilitating anger, then continued, “If he weren’t already dead, I would kill him.He was monstrous.”

“I wanted it, Damen.I was aroused,” Laurent growled, his face still turned away.

“No.You don’t get to do that.”

He could see the anger flare in Laurent’s eyes, could feel Laurent’s hand tug viciously away from his.“Do what exactly?”

“You don’t get to pretend that makes a difference.You don’t get to try and rile me up, get me to say something stupid, something I’ll regret, so that you can get mad and run away.And you don’t get to blame yourself for something a despicable man did to you.Not a single part of you could ever disgust me, Laurent.Not even for a moment.”

“I’m just telling the truth,” Laurent said.

“I know.And you already told me.I already heard and I’m still here.I will always be right here, by your side, holding your hand.I’ll be here when you want to shove me away, I’ll be here when you don’t want me to touch you, I’ll be here all of the moments you’re thinking you’re alone and worthless and I’ll remind you that you’re the most important thing in my life.That you’ve made me want to be better.That you aren’t and can never be worthless.”

Laurent was breathing hard, his eyes locked on Damen’s.His lower lip started quivering and Damen decided to do something moderately suicidal and gripped Laurent by the shoulders and pulled him against his chest.Rocking slowly back and forth, he ran his fingers through Laurent’s hair.Laurent’s body was taut underneath his, but eventually, he slumped into Damen and Damen could hear the muffled sobs against his chest.

He held Laurent most of the night.The crying had stopped somewhere in the middle, but Laurent hadn’t moved to extricate himself and Damen wasn’t going to leave his side for anything, just as he’d promised.He blinked blearily, shoving away the itchiness in his eyes and stifled another yawn.There had been a lot more of them recently.

Laurent slipped from his arms and laid a hand gently against Damen’s cheek.“You should sleep,” he murmured.

“Not sleeping until I know you’re okay,” Damen grumbled.Now that his hands were free, he took the opportunity to rub his eyes.It didn’t make them feel better, but the movement did wake him up slightly.

“I’m okay,” Laurent sighed, rubbing his own eyes.They were still red and swollen.Yet, he remained irritatingly exquisite.

Damen made a noise of disbelief.

Laurent laughed quietly, bringing his other hand up, holding Damen’s head between his hands.“I’m okay.I promise.Can we please just sleep?I just want to sleep next to you.”

It wasn’t hard for Damen to give in and lay down, his head slamming into the pillow.He smiled as he shut his eyes, a soft groan of pleasure emanating from deep within him at the thought of sleep.Laurent curled into him and brought Damen’s arm up and over his waist.

Damen was almost asleep when Laurent flipped over in his arms.

“What?” Damen asked, sleepily.He hoped Laurent got the message.He wasn’t entirely sure what nosies actually came from his mouth.

“I love you.”

Damen shook his head.“No,” he grumbled.“Much too tired.You’ve already been vulnerable enough today, too.It’s much too…” he trailed off, unsure where he’d been going.Sleep sounded better than talking.Easier than talking, too.

Laurent slapped him in the face.Damen’s eyes sprung open and he grimaced.“What was that for?”He was definitely awake now and severely grumpy.

“I’m trying to tell you something.”

“And I’m trying to sleep.”Damen flipped over in the bed and stubbornly shut his eyes.Sleep wasn’t coming as easily anymore, though.Probably because he was grinning helplessly into the edge of his pillow.

A kiss on his shoulder.A plea.Damen audibly sighed and turned over.The moment he saw Laurent’s face, the grin he’d been determined to hide, surfaced.“I hate you,” he said.

“I love you,” Laurent said again, a smile splitting his face.His eyes were soft and warm and it was unlike anything Damen had ever seen.Laurent could ask anything of him right now and he would do it.After a moment, “It’s strange,” Laurent said, “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

Damen bent and kissed him, then tugged him back against his chest.“Shut up, Laurent.I’m sleeping.”

He almost laughed when he felt Laurent tense, holding back words on the verge of spilling out.He decided to give it another couple of moments because of the slap, before he kissed the top of Laurent’s head and said, “I love you.”There was no question of it.Not even a moment of hesitation in Damen’s mind.“Now please go to sleep before I kill you.”

 

Damen woke to the rustling of sheets.The sun had barely risen, so Damen shut his eyes and willed himself to go back to sleep.He almost managed it, but the rustling grew more urgent and something was whimpering.No, someone.Damen sat up in bed in a rush and peered over at Laurent who was clutching the sheets in clenched fists, his skin ashen in the early dawn light.The whimpers were definitely coming from him.

Sharp pains seized Damen’s chest and he rushed into action, grasping Laurent by the shoulders and shaking him.It wasn’t gentle, it wasn’t composed.Damen was barely thinking, he was just reacting.He wanted Laurent’s pain to stop. 

Laurent burst into wakefulness, pulling away harshly from Damen.It took all of his control, but Damen managed to keep his face straight, disguising the hurt he felt at the vision of Laurent yanking away from him as though Damen himself had caused the pain.

Keeping still, Damen watched as Laurent retreated to the edge of the bed, his eyes wild, the roots of his hair wet.He was breathing hard and after a moment of staring at Damen, he started trying to control his breathing, casting his eyes downward. 

“Anything I can do?” Damen murmured into the shadows.

There was no response and Laurent was still rigid, his eyes elsewhere.Damen waited a moment more, figuring Laurent was still locked in the nightmare he’d been having, before he said in an even lower voice, “Say anything.”

Laurent didn’t utter a word, but crawled across the bed and laid his hands on either side of Damen’s neck.He ran his fingers through the hair at the nape and then bent forward, whispering into Damen’s skin, “You’re alive.”

Damen brought his hand up to caress Laurent’s neck, trying not to concern himself with the implications of Laurent's words, but right when his fingers made contact there was a small flinch and Damen automatically drew back, returning his hand to the bed. 

“I’m sorry,” Laurent said, his breath tickling the skin.

“No.Don’t be,” Damen said.“Are you alright?”

“I’ve been better.”

“Like when I won you a kingdom?”

“That certainly qualifies.”Damen could hear a small laugh behind the words and both of them relaxed noticeably, Laurent into Damen, Damen into Laurent.

“You should go back to sleep,” Laurent said.

“You’re going to be alright?”He wasn’t going to try and convince Laurent to sleep with him, to even pretend that was a possibility.

Laurent removed his face from Damen’s neck, his blue eyes soft, a tiny smile gracing his lips.“Yes.I think I’ll read a book.You won’t mind if I light a couple of lamps?”

“Of course not.”

Laurent smiled tenderly, his face entirely transformed by it.Damen smiled back only because he couldn’t help it.Laurent wasn’t just beautiful, he was something new.Honestly, Damen wasn’t even sure it was Laurent, the expression he wore was so fond and…loving. 

The smile didn’t disappear as Damen sank back into the bed and listened to Laurent padding around the room.A soft light was glowing in the far corner and Damen imagined it chasing all of the monsters and shadows away as he fell back to sleep.

 

Damen woke to Laurent hanging over him, blowing air into his face.

“What are you doing?” he grumbled.

“I was curious what you could sleep through,” Laurent said.“Quite a lot, if you’re interested.”

“Blowing into my face was what woke me up?”

“No,” Laurent grinned.“I’ve been doing that a while.I like the way your face twitches when I do.I pinched you under the knee.”

“Lovely,” Damen groaned, swiping a hand over his face.Laurent got up from the bed where he’d been kneeling and brought over a plate of food, popping a grape into his mouth, before holding it out to Damen. 

“So what’s the plan for today?” Damen asked as he ate a piece of bread.

“We have a visitor.”

“Who?”

“A friend,” Laurent said.

“You have friends?” Damen asked, adopting a casual tone.

“Ha ha.Very smart, Damen.Though, I suppose you’re not wrong.”He ate another grape.“I suggest you get dressed.He’s expecting us.”

“Attend me?”

Laurent grimaced slightly.“You’re much too bold this morning, lover.Clearly, I’ve been too lenient.”

Damen shook his head, grinning, and slipped into a fresh chiton.Staring around him, he couldn’t find his lion pin, only to find Laurent holding it in his hand over by the table where Damen had left it the night before.Laurent flipped it in his hand contemplatively before approaching Damen, lifting and shaping the sheet around Damen’s shoulder and pinning it into place.Then he wrapped his arms around Damen’s neck, went onto the tips of his toes, and kissed Damen.

“You’re not chastising me well enough,” Damen laughed into the kiss.He lifted Laurent off of his feet, rucking him up so that their heads were level. 

“Clearly not,” Laurent said, appraising his new position.Then with slow precision, he looped his legs around Damen’s waist, his face now higher than Damen’s.“I do like this,” Laurent murmured, bending to kiss Damen again.

“I could get used to it.”

They kissed for a long while.Eventually, Laurent removed his legs and slid down Damen’s body, slipping his hand into Damen’s.“Come on, Lamen.”

Damen knew who they were meeting.The question now became why.

 

“Charls,” Laurent said with a pleasant smile, as he and Damen entered the same room they’d talked to the Council in.Charls was seated at the head of the table, his manservant up against the wall behind him.A large smile spread across his face and he stood in a flourish, bowing artfully at Laurent.He considered Damen for a moment and then a flash of recognition lighted his eyes. 

“Lamen!” he declared.

Damen sighed, rolling his eyes at Laurent, who was laughing silently and doing nothing to correct the mistake.

Only when they’d all taken their seats around the table did Laurent say, “Charls, I’d like to introduce you to King Damianos of Akielos.I am sorry for the multiple deceptions about his identity, but it was critical no one knew who he was in both instances.”

Charls shifted his attention back to Damen and then began laughing loudly.“Oh, excellent!I was completely fooled.”He bowed in his chair to Damen and continued, “Your Highness.A pleasure to finally meet you.I’ve heard much about you.”

Damen smiled and in the silence, Charls burst into laughter again, turning back to Laurent.“Oh ho, that explains the promise for discounted cloth prices.”Then another pause, where Charls sized both of them up.“That explains all of the rumors, too.”

“What rumors?” Laurent asked.He kept his eyes from Damen’s.Damen glared at him, nonetheless.

Charls looked vaguely uncomfortable to his credit as he said, “That King Damianos was the slave of Your Highness and that, now, you two are…intimate.”

Damen was still glaring, but Laurent was smiling elatedly, likely pleased the rumors he’d fueled were actually traveling quite a distance.Charls reached down into a bag beside his chair and pulled out rolls of parchment.Unrolling one, he struggled at keeping the edges down, and began searching for things to weigh the corners.Damen sprang into action and held two corners down, also taking the time to glance at what was on the parchment.It appeared to be sketches of clothes, measurements, and notes about types of cloth and colors and such things.They were going to discuss clothing?

“I’ve been sketching most of the journey here, Your Highness,” Charls said.“I will remind you I’m only a cloth merchant and this is something I dabble in, not something I do professionally.”

“I’m sure whatever you’ve come up with will be adequate,” Laurent said, bending over the pages, his eyes flicking through all of the sketches.Damen sat there stupidly, unsure what was happening.Finally, he’d had enough, so he said, “Want to fill me in, darling?” 

From the corner of his eye, his saw Charls start at the words that had left his mouth, but Damen kept his focus stubbornly on Laurent, who was still smiling. 

“Of course, dearest,” Laurent said, the words dripping with sarcasm.“I’ve asked Charls to come and help us find you some clothing, hence the sketches.”When he said it like that, it did seem rather obvious, but they both knew that wasn’t what Damen was really asking.Instead of pressing the issue, Damen decided to examine the sketches more closely and avoid any further humiliation. 

They were unlike anything he’d ever seen.All of the concepts were a combination of Veretian and Akielon styles.There was a chiton with embroidery on the edges and the word “blue” in all capital letters sitting in the center.There was an attempt at a chiton with sleeves as well, which made Damen smile slightly.There were Veretian jackets and pants with less laces and more simple fabric.Some even had parts that billowed, whether in the sleeves or the torso.Seeing Laurent in any of these would be more than satisfying for Damen, he had to admit.It’d been too long since the chiton.

It was just another step towards joining their kingdoms; showing both of their people what either culture could offer.Perhaps slightly superfluous, but he knew why Laurent had done it.They both deserved something enjoyable but productive; especially after last night.

Damen glanced up from the drawings and met Laurent’s eyes.He grinned and Laurent grinned back from across the table.“Which do you like best?” he asked.

Damen pointed at one of the sets based off Veretian clothing that had an open collar and flowing fabric in the arms.Laurent laughed and then he pointed to the colorful chiton with embroidery.“You’d look very attractive in purple,” Laurent said.

Neither of them were paying any attention to Charls.That was, until he cleared his throat and said, “Very good choices, Your Highnesses.It would be helpful if you picked out at least two more designs so I could have the seamstresses create a full wardrobe.And I’ll need colors as well.”

“We’re to wear them?” Damen asked.

“Of course,” Laurent said.“I’m attractive and you’re a king.People will be clamoring to wear what we wear.”

“Oh, you’re attractive are you?” Damen teased.

Then they stared at each other silently.Damen wanted nothing more than to be somewhere else, anywhere else.Somewhere that wasn’t a professional setting, somewhere without another soul in the room.

There was a light gasp from Charls.“It’s more than that, isn’t it?” he said, cheerfully.

Laurent cleared his throat none too subtly and then said, “I’d like some greens and blues, Charls.”Damen was on the verge of hurtling himself over the table and tackling Laurent to the ground.It was one of the first times he’d seen Laurent lose his composure so fully in public and he found that he quite enjoyed it, for more than one reason.

“And red,” Damen inputed.

“Red?”

“You’d look very attractive in red,” Damen said, consciously mimicking Laurent’s earlier statement.

Charls turned to Damen, who stared apprehensively at the large letters spelling out “blue”.He was fond of white.It suited him.He didn’t feel the need to add color to his wardrobe.It was unnecessary and…well, it just didn’t suit him.

“Can’t I just have white?” he finally said, a tinge of helplessness seeping into his voice.

Charls shrugged and began outlining how he could do white and embroider in various shades of gold and Damen smiled as he talked, glad this man didn’t try and convince him something else was better.

“That sounds perfect,” Damen said when Charls was finished.Charls smiled and wrote down some notes on top of the sketches.

“And purple,” Laurent said.

Damen wasn’t going to argue.He was too charmed.

Then Charls went into a long speech about various fabrics and their benefits, bringing out samples for Damen and Laurent to feel.He explained which ones were more suited for Veretian clothing, which for Akielon, which ones were finer, which ones took color better.Eventually, Laurent stopped him in his speech and deferred the decision to Charls, who obviously knew better than they ever could.

Then they shook hands and Charls estimated that he could have their new wardrobes ready in a week.Even Laurent seemed surprised at the speed with which the task could be completed, but he didn’t comment, letting Charls depart and start on his work.

Damen walked over to the door and locked it.Once that was done, he sauntered over to Laurent and with a low growl, pushed him up against a wall and kissed him breathless.He hiked Laurent up, curling his long booted legs around his waist and let Laurent luxuriate in the new angle.Fingers wound through hair and Laurent used his position and leverage to grind down slowly on Damen.

Damen furiously worked on the laces keeping the bare skin of Laurent’s neck hostage as they continued to kiss and the moment he’d worked him free, he slid his lips across Laurent’s cheekbone down to his neck and nipped and licked his way up and down.

Laurent brought his mouth down to Damen’s ear and whispered, “This.”

“What?” Damen asked, pulling away from Laurent’s neck and staring into his eyes. 

“This is what I was thinking about,” Laurent said.

Damen fished back in his memory, trying to remember what Laurent was talking about.It didn’t help that Laurent’s tongue was now in his ear.But then it came to him in a flash, a demonstration of strength, a flush, and then a promise to be redeemed after a signed treaty.He growled in pleasure and with renewed urgency, pressed himself into Laurent.Laurent gasped, flung back hard against the wall, and Damen tried to ignore the urge to ask if he was alright. 

“Did I hurt you?” he said.Not hard enough, apparently.

Laurent laughed breathlessly and shook his head.As he did so, he unpinned Damen’s chiton and pushed it onto the floor.Damen hurriedly undid Laurent’s pants, longingly wishing for the confines of Laurent’s room where there was almost certainly oil, but settled for rutting against Laurent, slipping his head into Laurent’s neck, breathing hard, letting both of them take their own pleasure.Laurent dipped his hand down and rolled it up and over and around both of their cocks.Grazing his teeth and tongue up, he pulled away from Laurent’s neck and gazed at his lover.His head was thrown back against the wall, the pale expanse of neck incredibly inviting, and all of the skin was flushed a lovely pink.Running his hand up Laurent’s chest, briefly diving underneath the jacket and undershirt still clinging to Laurent’s body, he brought Laurent’s head back down and kissed him soundly as he took both of Laurent’s hands and pinned them high up on the wall.Damen could feel himself losing control as he rutted faster and moaned long and deep into Laurent’s mouth.

He came in a rush, panting Laurent’s name.Damen’s strength was quickly departing in favor of relaxed limblessness, so while he still had time, he spun both of them and settled Laurent on top of the table.Laurent sprawled there easily, looking up at Damen almost pleadingly.

With a smile, Damen kissed the tip of Laurent’s cock, then finished him with his mouth.Laurent came, quietly gasping, Damen’s name the only thing he could say.Damen spit into the empty fireplace, the only place he could really come up with in the somewhat sparse room, and then returned to Laurent who had an indecipherable look on his face.

“What is it?” Damen asked, raising himself onto the table beside Laurent.He should really inform someone that this table now needed a deep cleaning.

“I…there’s nothing to…” Laurent stopped, glancing helplessly down at the come covering the lower half of his body.Damen couldn’t help the flood of giggles that escaped his mouth, which quickly became breathless laughter.The laughter intensified, making it even harder to breath, when he looked over at Laurent, whose face was far from amused.

“I’m sorry,” he laughed, as he retrieved his chiton from the floor.“I’m trying not to laugh.Honestly.”That only made him laugh harder.

Damen finally managed to choke out the word, “Here,” and flung his chiton at Laurent.Laurent just stared, the fabric pooling between his fingertips.

Taking long, deep breaths, trying desperately to settle the bursts of laughter, Damen said, “You can use that.I don’t mind.I have a clean one back in the room.”A short pause.“Never done it outside the bedroom before, have you?”

He hadn’t stopped to think about the effect of the words on Laurent, who faltered at them, the disapproving lines in his face tensing up.“No,” he said, icily. 

“Damn it,” Damen said, falling onto his knees in front of Laurent.He didn’t touch him, but did manage to look appropriately penitent.“I’m sorry,” he whispered.“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

If the words hadn’t been said with such menace, Damen would’ve started laughing again simply because this was one of the strangest positions he’d ever been in.He was naked, kneeling on the floor, staring up at a man who had no pants on and whose shirt and hair were ruffled.Instead he continued to murmur, keeping his eyes locked on Laurent’s, however much of a struggle it was.“For not thinking.”

Laurent considered him and said, “What a surprise.”There was still a hardness in his voice, but Damen sensed that the danger had passed.He lifted himself from the floor, his knees already in minor amounts of pain from the cold stone.The chiton was still laying between Laurent’s fingers uselessly, but Damen wasn’t confident enough yet to actually do anything besides assume his position on the table once more.

There was silence and stillness and then Laurent moved, passing the fabric over his legs and groin, cleaning them thoroughly.Without a glance or word, he handed it back to Damen, who did the same. 

A long, straining breath and then Laurent flipped himself around and laid down, his head resting on Damen’s lap. 

“Do you mind if I…”

“Yes,” Laurent clipped.

Damen nodded and leaned back against his arms, watching Laurent.He was completely mussed, hair sticking up in odd places, lips swollen, cheeks still flushed, and it was so beautiful.Something extraordinary he’d get to see for the rest of his life. 

“What are you thinking about?” Laurent asked.Damen hadn’t even realized he was grinning until Laurent had spoken.

“How beautiful you are and how fortunate I am.”

Laurent snorted indelicately and as he did, Damen felt the tension released from the space between them.

Abruptly, Laurent sprang into motion, lifting himself off of Damen, doing up his pants and dropping down off the table.Damen didn’t even ask, he simply unruffled his chiton and put it on.Laurent led him from the room.

“Where are we going?” Damen asked.They were currently walking down multiple flights of stairs into a part of the castle he’d never been. 

“It’s a surprise.”

“Of course it is,” Damen murmured to himself.He wasn’t sure if Laurent heard, but if he did, there was no indication.They ended up in a small chamber with a door at the end.Only one of the lamps was lit and there was no seating.This was not a place people traveled to often.

When Laurent opened the door, Damen realized they were going outside.There was a large swath of grass peppered with gravestones.An uneasy feeling grew in Damen as he wondered what had brought this on.It was definitely a graveyard and Damen suddenly had some idea why they were here and he wasn’t sure either of them were prepared for this interaction.

Sure enough, they ended up in front of a beautifully polished stone, white flowers growing all along the plot, that read, “Auguste, Crown Prince of Vere, beloved son and brother.” 


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um...okay...so this chapter was completely insane. The reviews continue to be beautiful...I've legitimately cried at least three times. That's probably too much information...anyways...  
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter, too!!!  
> Traveling back to Akielos begins and we're going to meet lots of people on the way :)

“I wanted you to meet him,” Laurent murmured.Damen wasn’t sure who Laurent was speaking to, but it didn’t matter.He knelt down in front of the grave and ran his fingers slowly across the engraved letters of Auguste’s name, fingers dipping in and out of the coarse edges.It was quiet out here and in that quiet he could sense the seriousness of what was happening and how momentous it was that Laurent had brought him here, of all places.

It felt like he should say something, but Damen didn’t know what.There were so many words; so many things he wanted to say about all he hadn’t known.Damen was also aware it was a rare opportunity to explain the past to Laurent in a way that might not offend him.But, kneeling in front of Auguste’s grave, that felt much too selfish.Instead, he chose the simplest words stored within him, “I didn’t know, Auguste.I didn’t know what you meant and what you left behind and I’m so sorry I took that from you.I’m sorry I made you break your promise.”

Laurent, who was still standing, strung his fingers through Damen’s hair and brought Damen’s head against his leg.They stayed that way for a while, Laurent taking comfort for himself, not asking for anything else.Then he murmured, “Leave us.”

Damen nodded, stood, and walked back towards the door, leaning up against the wall and watching Laurent assume the position Damen had been in, running his fingers across the top of the white flowers.He could hear the faint sounds of words being said, but he didn’t move closer to eavesdrop, though he was intensely curious.Damen had already interfered too much in that relationship.

Laurent rose when he was finished speaking and made his way to Damen.He entwined their fingers and said, “You didn’t listen.”

Damen shook his head.

Laurent smiled halfway and said, “I would’ve.”

“How often do you come here?”

“Once a week, usually, unless I’m unable to.”

“You don’t like leaving Arles.”

Laurent shrugged.“He doesn’t go anywhere.It’s easy to catch up.”The words came out matter-of-fact, which Damen thought might be worse than coming out cold and dead-pan or intensely emotional.

“I’m…”

Laurent shook his head minutely.“I know,” he said.“I didn’t bring you here to rehash the past.”

“Why did you bring me?”

“He was the most important part of my life and now you are.”

That was all he said.It didn’t entirely make sense to Damen, all of the lines didn’t quite connect, but they did enough that he didn’t press the issue, just squeezed Laurent’s hand instead.“Not to ruin this, but I’d really like to get out of this chiton.”

Laurent nodded, laughing shortly, and they returned to his rooms.They spent the night writing letters.Laurent to the Council and Damen to Nikandros, ordering him to meet him at the border in a couple of weeks.

 

A week later, Charls was back and he had complete wardrobes.Laurent looked every single piece over, making small comments of praise and wonder.Damen couldn’t muster the same level of politeness, but he made sure to thank Charls and comment on how well done they all were.He simply didn’t care enough for cloth or clothes to have anything intelligent to say.Charls hardly noticed as halfway through Damen’s examination, Laurent came over and covered for him, continuing his admiration.For that Damen was very grateful and a glint of Laurent shoring up his weak side in the mountains crossed his mind.

Laurent paid Charls a handsome sum of money and told him he could stay in Arles as long as he wished, but did inform him that both he and Damen would be leaving for Ios tomorrow.He also asked Charls for discretion, which Charls promised to hold with ease.Damen didn’t doubt him for a second.Charls had proven himself long ago to be unfailingly loyal, especially to Laurent.

The next morning, bags were being packed, horses were being prepared, and Laurent and Damen were trying on their new riding leathers.Damen was particularly fidgety, uncomfortable as always in the tight clothing.As he pulled and prodded at the fabric, he reminded himself it was only temporary.Once they reached Akielos and the late summer, early fall sun, he could return to his chitons.

Laurent helped Damen lace up the sleeves of the jacket and when he was done, Damen turned to a mirror and laughed shortly.“I look absurd.”It was a fine fabric and the white was exactly what Damen wanted.He didn’t even mind the gold embroidery down the sleeves and around the lacings in front.It was the simple fact that everything fit like a second skin.He felt pompous.

Laurent came up behind him and gazed into the mirror as well.“You don’t, actually,” he said, casually.

“Really.I thought Veretian clothing didn’t suit me.”

“That was back when I wanted to kill you,” Laurent tossed back, doing up his own laces with clever, swift fingers.“Besides, the ones you wore then weren’t made for you.They didn’t fit.”

“No.”Damen started smiling.

“What?” Laurent grumbled.

“Did you always find me attractive?”

“Not as instantaneously as you did me.”

Damen stared at him until Laurent lifted his eyes from his laces and huffed.“I might have,” he conceded.“But it didn’t matter, because you repulsed me.”

Damen’s smile grew wider and he turned back to the mirror, smoothing down the jacket, feeling slightly more comfortable in it now.“Are we actually traveling alone?”

Laurent nodded.

“Doesn’t that seem risky?”

A corner of Laurent’s mouth cricked up.“Perhaps.I can assure you we’ll be fine.”There was a pause.“I want it to be just us.We’ll sleep under the stars.It’ll be romantic.”The last two sentences could’ve sliced bread, they were so derisive.

“Okay,” Damen said.He tried to pull off nonchalance, but judging by the smile spreading across Laurent’s face, he wasn’t succeeding.In fact, all Damen was capable of feeling at the moment was an overwhelming fondness.He wasn’t even sure what he was fond of.Everything, probably. 

“I love you,” he said, only because the words were uncontainable.

They brought Laurent to a complete halt.There was a long moment where it was painfully obvious Laurent was unsure what the situation dictated from him.However obvious the answer, Damen began to understand those words were not something that came easily to Laurent, no matter how easy they had seemed the night they’d first exchanged them.To spare Laurent any further anxiety, he said, “Can you help me shave?”

Visibly, the tenseness in Laurent’s shoulders and back relaxed and he nodded, retreating to his bathroom and fetching a razor, a basin of water, and some soap.Damen settled in a chair as Laurent ran soap and water over his face and neck with gentle hands.It was methodical and careful the whole way through, each swipe of the blade placed exactly.Laurent’s face was serious and attentive, his hands still.

“You’re done,” he said softly into Damen’s ear, as he ran the blade through the basin of water one last time, slivers of hair floating into the soapy water.

“Want me to do you?” Damen asked, standing.Laurent handed him the razor and sank into the chair.Damen dipped his hands into the water, then rubbed Laurent’s skin gently, the stubble very fine.It was hardly coarse at all.He took the time to properly explore the planes of Laurent’s face and neck, committing every curve of bone and cartilage to memory, simply because he could.

“Have you ever thought about growing a beard?” Damen asked.He made a single, long scrape from Laurent’s chin to his cheekbone.

“Never.Nor will I.”

“You’re letting your hair grow.”

Laurent nodded infinitesimally, so as not to disturb Damen and end up with a pinprick cut. “I like the idea of being able to pull it back.”Then, “Auguste wore his long.”He uttered the words softly, so softly that if Damen’s face had not been right beside Laurent’s, he wouldn’t have heard. 

Damen remained silent, hoping Laurent would continue down the train of thought. 

He was rewarded.“He used to let me braid it for him in the morning.One long plait down his neck.Then, at night, he would let me brush it out, telling me about his day, complaining about whatever drudgery Father had forced on him.He liked the tasks, really, but he knew I enjoyed it when he pretended to loath them.I loathed them, see.I preferred to read and ride, play riddles with my tutors.I wasn’t to inherit the throne.I didn’t see why I had to take the same lessons, answer the same hypothetical scenarios, travel to the same small villages, learn the same sword fighting tactics.I thought he could handle all of it just fine by himself.I knew he could.”There was another long pause.“I spent almost every waking moment chasing after him and he never seemed to mind.”

Damen could hardly imagine Laurent chasing after anyone, but nonetheless, it made him smile.He had finished the other side of Laurent’s face, so he moved to his neck, tilting his head back slightly, allowing better access.

Before diving back in, he kissed the tip of Laurent’s nose.

“Don’t cut me,” Laurent said.

“I wouldn’t dare,” Damen smiled.

“Was it similar with your brother?” Laurent asked.

Damen considered the question for a moment, drawing another smooth line up Laurent’s neck.He brushed the backs of his fingers across the smooth skin as he moved back to the bottom and answered, “No.I did chase after him, I suppose, but there was always some tension between us.I’d taken his throne simply by being born and it was something we were both aware of and when it became apparent my father favored my successes, well…he still taught me much and we were still good friends but it could never have been what you and Auguste had.”

One last swipe of the blade and then Damen said, “You’re done.”

Laurent ran a hand across his face, wiping off trace drops of water and then smiled softly, leaning in for a kiss, which Damen accepted without thought.Kissing Laurent was more than easy to give into.

“Are you ready to return to Akielos?” Damen asked, breaking the kiss.

“Only if I get my week in the summer palace.”

Damen laughed warmly.“Whatever you want.”

Laurent lowered his eyes and murmured, “I don’t deserve you.”

“It’s I who doesn’t deserve you.”

Laurent scoffed, shaking his head, surprise written on his face.Damen was pleased to realize Laurent spent much less effort trying to disguise what he was feeling around Damen these days.“How are you real?”There was a beat of hesitation.“Don’t answer that.”

Laurent turned to two servants and ordered them to carry the bags scattered around the room down to the horses and have them tied on.They hurried to do as he commanded. 

Then he stared around the room, his face blank.

“Bored?” Damen asked.

“No, just anxious to leave.”His face lit up suddenly and he clasped Damen’s hand in his.“Come with me.”

“All about spontaneity, aren’t you?”Damen didn’t need an answer, nor did he wish to ridicule Laurent for such behavior.He found it incredibly endearing if he was being honest, which he usually was.

“It’s not like you have anything better to do.” 

Laurent said it lazily, like he had nothing better to do, either.But Damen saw the sparkle in his eye and he was leading Damen down halls quickly, a small spring to his step.They ended up back in the gardens and Laurent was taking a twisted route through the paths, his grip on Damen’s hand insistent.

“I knew it,” Laurent murmured as he came to stop.They were standing in front of a large tree with swooping branches and leaves shaped like swords.

“It sometimes changes early,” Laurent said.“I’d forgotten until now.”

The leaves on the tree were various shades of orange and red.Some of them scattered the ground, painting the grass in swathes of brightness.Damen walked forward and picked up a leaf from the ground, spinning it between his fingers. 

It wasn’t that the leaves on trees didn’t die once a year in Akielos, because they did, but they never changed colors like this.They simply turned brown and dropped, the sun burning all hope of color away.He hadn’t seen anything like this leaf before and it was stunning.

“Thank you,” Damen said.

Laurent was quiet, a light flush on his face.That was a beautiful shade too.Damen tucked the leaf behind Laurent’s ear, the colors all complementing one another, and swiped a thumb across Laurent’s cheekbone.

“Now you’ve seen fall,” Laurent murmured.

“This,” Damen said, “was thoughtful, Laurent.”

“I’d like to take it back,” he grumbled, “You put a leaf in my hair.Whatever made you think that was a good idea.”But he was smiling.

Damen bent down and kissed him, arms falling naturally around the small of Laurent’s back.“Get the damn leaf out of my hair, Damianos,” Laurent ordered against his lips.Damen chuckled and brushed the leaf away as he kissed him again.

 

They rode out of Vere that afternoon.The ride itself was surprisingly fun, Laurent making a sort of race out of it, one that he consistently won.Damen would argue that Laurent’s horse was more comfortable with him, but in reality, Laurent was likely the better rider.He, at least, had a stronger affinity with horses.He lived and breathed them.

When they stopped to camp for the night in a small dirt clearing within a patch of forest a mile or so off the road, Laurent automatically took care of both horses without complaint.Damen was happy to let him do so, choosing to roll out their mats and build a fire.He considered hunting just so they could have fresh meat, but decided it was too dark and it was more likely he’d come back with minor scratches from tripping over loose rocks, so he settled on pulling out the cheeses and bread they’d brought with them, as they’d be the first thing to go bad.Damen handed Laurent’s share to him when he returned.

They ate together in companionable silence, their shoulders brushing.

“Bets on what state of undress we’ll find Jord and Nikandros in when we arrive?” Damen said, wiping his hands free of crumbs on his new pants.

“They haven’t fucked,” Laurent said.

“I don’t know.Nikandros can be convincing.”

“Is that from experience?”

Damen paused and then burst out laughing.“No.That’s from growing up with him, watching him pick up men and women faster than me…and I was the Prince.Says a lot, I think.”

“Jord likes emotional connections and Veretians,” Laurent said.“And since they can’t have a proper conversation, Jord hasn’t let Nikandros so much as touch him.Unless Nikandros is unusually submissive and pliant.”Laurent barely glanced at Damen when he said, “I didn’t think so.”

“What will you bet?”

Laurent laid back on his mat, throwing one of his arms back and resting his head on it.“I bet you a blow job.”

Damen blinked and then said, “What do you want from me?”

“You let me fuck you.”

It was tossed out so casually that Damen had to stop and gather his thoughts.Slowly, he said, “You don’t have to…I’d let you, Laurent.”He thought he would, anyways.The idea certainly didn’t repulse him.Far from it.

Laurent allowed silence to reign, the request he had made likely shocking both of them, but he did bring Damen down beside him, tucking his head in the space between Damen’s head and shoulder.“I can’t see the stars,” he said, finally.

“We’ll be able to see them in Akielos.”There was a long stretch of silence.“You’ve got yourself a bet, sweetheart.”

 

The next day, Laurent informed Damen that they were on their way to Acquitart to begin with, where he was meeting with Makedon in order to fulfill his drunken promise of a hunt.Damen should’ve known it wasn’t going to be a simple straight shot to Ios from Arles, not with Laurent by his side.If there was something Laurent could accomplish on the way, it would be done.Laurent argued that Makedon was incredibly influential and if he liked Laurent, it would be a great help.He wasn’t wrong.Damen hadn’t needed an explanation, though.He would do anything Laurent asked of him.

Their days were spent on horses, sometimes racing them.Both had a good sense of when their horses were getting tired and when that happened they’d stop near a stream or river and let the horses drink from the water, while they either bathed or laid in the grass and pointed out shapes in clouds.Laurent had a contagious love for doing that, so much so that Damen found himself enjoying an activity he hadn’t done since he was a young child.He could almost pretend that they were children in those moments, except for the fact that Laurent often pictured the clouds as perverse objects and acts, making it considerably less innocent.

They spent their nights curled up next to a fire, talking of nothing, something that Laurent had very little practice with, but was exceedingly good at.He particularly enjoyed listening to Damen tell stories of the kings that came before him and was excellent at winding the conversations in circles until it ended up where he wanted it to be.Sometimes, Damen could talk Laurent into discussing Auguste.

It was so easy and comfortable.Damen began to forget what real life felt like.

They were almost to Acquitart when the scattering of early fall clouds parted and the sun beat down on them.Damen was quick to discard his Veretian clothing and change into one of his chitons.Laurent was less keen, but he conceded to change when they reached Acquitart, once Damen promised to wear the purple chiton when they met with Makedon.

Damen wasn’t sure he’d won anything with that exchange.

That was, until they were in the King’s chambers at Acquitart.Makedon was about to arrive, and Laurent was putting on a chiton made of a stunning light blue fabric.It was void of any other embellishment, but when Damen saw Laurent in it, he decided that it was the best deal he had ever made.Chitons really did show a certain amount of skin and especially on Laurent…well, it felt illicit and it was endlessly attractive.Damen recalled the white chiton on Laurent and the effect that’d had on him and realized light blue was even more affecting.Charls had picked the perfect color.It was the same shade as Laurent’s eyes when he wasn’t aroused or in a foul mood.

“See something you like?” Laurent teased, very aware of Damen’s gaze on him.

“How long do we have to spend with Makedon and his retinue?” Damen asked in answer, hoping it wasn’t long and he could carry Laurent back to this bedroom and rip that beautiful blue fabric off of him.

Laurent laughed.“I’ve heard there’s to be a celebration of sorts.”

“Of course there is,” Damen sighed.He removed the chiton he was currently wearing, letting it pool around his feet, and Laurent handed him the purple one.Laurent crossed his arms and leaned against the frame of the bed, watching with a wry smile.Shutting his eyes, pretending the fabric was a basic white, he pinned the new chiton in place.He did enjoy the feel of the fabric.It was soft and silky.

When he opened his eyes, Laurent’s eyes were no longer the same color as his chiton.“Maybe we could slip away from the party once they’re drunk,” Laurent murmured.

“It can’t possibly look that good.”

Laurent raised an eyebrow indelicately, making Damen flush.

Damen strode to a mirror and looked at himself.However Damen felt about color and the general pointlessness of such additions (it was just clothing after all) he had to admit that purple definitely suited him.It complemented his skin and made his eyes darker.They were almost black in the mirror and Damen found he rather liked it.Not that he would ever tell Laurent.

“It will do, I suppose.”

Laughing uproariously, Laurent crept up behind him, used Damen’s shoulders as support and whispered into his ear, “Do?The only time I’ve found you more attractive is when you were naked, oiled, and wrestling with Pallas.”

Damen inhaled sharply and turned, growling as he kissed Laurent furiously, their lips and teeth clashing.When their mouths finally parted, Damen breathed, “Do we have to go?”

There was a knock on the door.Laurent shut his eyes, then said, in a voice much too loud for the current intimacy, “Come in.”

A servant, likely one from Makedon’s party, entered and said, “Your Highnesses, Makedon has arrived.He would like to cordially ask when dinner will be?”

“He’s cordially asking how long it will be until he can get drunk,” Damen grumbled, his lips still very close to Laurent’s.Laurent managed to contain his laughter.

“Makedon wouldn’t happen to have a cook with him?” Laurent asked.

The servant stared.

“Hmm,” Laurent said.“You see, Damen and I traveled among a very small party, mainly each other.There’s an older man, Arnoul, who can most likely cook for around five, but unless Makedon is willing to eat something I make, which could be…interesting…I suggest he provides a cook.Do let him know I’m willing to try my hand at cooking, however.”

The servant nodded and left, his face priceless in its confusion.

“He was likely expecting a warmer welcome,” Damen said.

“True,” Laurent said.“It was unavoidable, however.Besides, he won’t even remember by tomorrow if I play this right.”

“Which we both know you will,” Damen smiled.“You know he might take you up on your offer to cook, right?”

“I expect him to.Know how to cook, lover?”

Damen burst into laughter.

“I wonder how many people we can make sick,” Laurent said, as though it were a challenge he was willing to meet.

“Make the first course alcohol and it won’t matter what we cook.”

“Sounds like something I would do.”

“Maybe you’re rubbing off on me.”

Laurent grinned and kissed Damen long and slow.“Should we wait for the servant to come back or accept our inevitable fate and head to the kitchen?”

 

They ended up in the kitchen with Arnoul.It turned out he was more than adept at cooking—even for a large number of people—and Laurent and Damen mostly got in his way.That didn’t stop Laurent from trying to help.Damen mostly watched with a smile on his face.He was astonishingly fond of seeing the softer side of Laurent, who was especially soft with this man.Damen suspected it was because he had shown Laurent a consistent kindness in the occasional visits here.

By the time dinner was prepared, Damen was slightly tipsy (he’d been put on drink duty) and Laurent was lightly flushed from the heat of the food and the effort of kneading dough for bread, the only thing Arnoul had trusted Laurent with.When everything was on plates or in baskets, Laurent and Damen retreated from the kitchen and headed to the dining hall.Makedon and his retinue were there, chairs pulled around a table to the side of the head table, playing a game of cards.They were also drinking.Clearly, they’d brought their own supply of alcohol.

When Makedon heard them enter, he stood from the table, stopping the game of cards, and strolled over.With a booming voice he said, “Exalted!Laurent!”

Laurent’s hand clenched inside Damen’s at the sound of his given name leaving Makedon’s mouth.But he didn’t say anything scathing.He simply adopted a brilliant smile and said, “Makedon.It is good to see you again.I’m glad we could do this.”

“As am I.Come.Sit.Play cards.We’ll pick it up and deal again.”

Laurent didn’t protest—he even looked excited—and Damen followed, unsure what else to do.It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate a game of cards, but he knew that if Laurent wished to win, no one else at the table was going to.And Damen preferred winning if he played.

Laurent did in fact win two out of three hands, taking a surprising amount of money in a short amount of time.To be fair to the other players, Laurent’s face was impossible to read and he had an uncanny ability at discovering weaknesses of players and prodding at them until their egos felt threatened and they bet more than they should’ve.And yet, at the same time, he managed to keep the mood around the table friendly and full of laughter.Damen lost a bit of money, but not much.He had the distinct advantage of knowing just what Laurent was capable of.

After the third hand, servants came in bearing food.There was a loud cheer all around the table and people stood, scattering out, so that the plates had a place to rest.Damen and Laurent took their spots at the center of the main table and everyone came to them.Makedon took a seat right beside Laurent, pouring him a drink, and immediately began discussing the prospects for the hunt tomorrow, casually slapping Laurent’s shoulder at least three times.Damen turned to his left and talked to the men on that side so he wouldn’t burst into uncharacteristically rude laughter.

Halfway through his plate of food, Damen felt a hand on his knee.Automatically, he turned to Laurent and bent his head close so they could talk privately.

“I’m entirely out of my depth,” Laurent whispered.“Do you have any tips?”

Damen peered around Laurent’s shoulder and saw that Makedon had momentarily departed. 

“Are you asking me how to make friends?”

Laurent glared, swallowed and then said, “No, I…alright, perhaps I am.At least, with someone like Makedon.”

“He likes you,” Damen said.“I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“Damen…”

“Honestly?” Damen said.“You did an excellent job when you were drunk.So get drunk.”

“Of course that’s your solution.”

“Got a better one?”

“I’m not getting drunk.”

Damen raised his hands in the air.“You asked for my advice.Now, excuse me, sweetheart, I was having a fascinating conversation about the pros and cons of using a crossbow.Interestingly, most arguments end in euphemisms for sex.”Damen wasn’t trying to emphasize how much more comfortable…okay, he was.It felt nice having the upper hand on Laurent for once.

“Get drunk, you say?” Laurent said, his eyes steel and his lips in a thin, challenging smile.He grabbed a pitcher and filled his glass to the brim with wine.Bringing the glass up, staring straight into Damen’s eyes, he downed the whole glass in a few gulps and immediately poured himself a new one.“Match me,” he said.

“Dangerous game to play.”

“My favorite kind.” 

Damen drained his cup and set it in front of Laurent, who filled it.

Makedon came back when they were on their third cup and his face broke into a huge smile as he set his own cup in front of Laurent.“I see we’re drinking.Good.Can you outdrink this man, Exalted?”

Damen stared glowingly at Laurent and said, “I don’t know.We’ll see.”

“That we will,” Laurent replied, throwing back his third cup at the same time Damen did.Makedon followed suit a couple of seconds later, sitting back down.Laurent poured them all new glasses.

The progress grew slower after that glass and the conversation turned to the chiton Damen was wearing.

“What exactly is that you’re wearing, Exalted?” Makedon asked, taking a gulp of wine.One Laurent matched.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Damen grumbled.

“That’s a purple chiton,” Laurent smiled.“Veretian cloth.Looks splendid on him, doesn’t it?”

“I suppose,” Makedon said and Laurent clamped down on his smile, his expression becoming calculated and thoughtful and then completely impassive, as though suddenly remembering just what alcohol was capable of doing to him.In the mean time, Makedon stood—only a little shakily—and circled Damen lazily, prodding at the fabric with one hand. 

“It’s quite nice, actually,” Makedon said, peering down at the fabric between his hands.Damen looked down and noticed quite a bit of his thigh was showing.Laurent had clearly noticed, too, because his eyes were very determinedly focused anywhere else.Wrestling the fabric from Makedon’s hands, Damen smoothed it out and covered the large expanse of skin.

Damen polished off his glass of wine.His stomach was definitely warm and his eyes were wandering listlessly around the room.They kept catching on the slaves prostrating themselves, following brief and curt orders, and smiling happily at soft and lingering touches.There was a flicker in his brain that reminded him this wasn’t a topic he should discuss in front of Makedon.He did manage to stop himself from turning to Laurent and asking when they could start remedying the horrors of slavery in both their countries, but it did make him realize just how dangerous getting drunk could become.

Damen thought it likely Laurent would maintain some control, but he wasn’t sure he could.So, he turned, brushing his lips against Laurent’s ear, lingering there for a beat before speaking, just because he could.“I think I’m on the verge of saying lots of things I shouldn’t.”

Pulling back, he could tell that Laurent heard, but his response was a lot slower in coming than normal.Finally, he waved Damen towards him and whispered back, “I didn’t quite think that through.”

Damen bit his lip and then burst into laughter.“What I’m saying,” he laughed breathlessly into Laurent’s ear, “Is that we should exit gracefully before the alcohol really gets to me.And you.”

“I need ten more minutes.Can you last that long?”

“Can I last that long,” Damen scoffed.“Of course I can.Can you?”

“Probably.”

In those ten minutes, Laurent worked wonders.He managed to not only build up his hunting skills, plan when they would leave tomorrow morning, cleverly weave both Damen and him out of drinking until everyone was passed out, and told Makedon in precise detail, the story of how he’d ended up impersonating Jokaste. 

“Damen and I are going to retire,” Laurent said, standing.He didn’t sway and his expression didn’t change.Damen was impressed.He managed to do the same, but only just, and he was much bigger and had a larger tolerance.

“We’ll bring out the griva tomorrow,” Makedon said, cheerfully.Another slap to Laurent’s shoulder.This time, Laurent gripped his shoulder back and said, “I look forward to killing many more chamois than you.”

Makedon erupted into cheerful laughter and raised his glass to Laurent as he and Damen turned and left the dining hall. 

Right when the doors closed behind them, Laurent leaned against Damen easily.Damen swung his arm around Laurent’s waist and they went back to their rooms, stumbling against each other.Damen was actually fairly sure he could still walk, but any excuse to have Laurent in his arms was an excuse he was okay with.

“Out of curiosity, what things were you going to say?” Laurent asked, as Damen opened the door to their room.The moment they were in, he collapsed in a sprawl in front of the fireplace, where a fire was blazing.Clearly someone had been in here, readying their room.

“I’m tired of slavery.I’m tired of seeing it everywhere I go and having to pretend that I’m okay with it.”

Laurent nodded.“We can remedy that when we get to Akielos if you want.It’s not going to be popular and we’ll have to legalize prostitution, so hopefully you don’t have any moral qualms there, my honorable barbarian…at least, if you don’t want your economy to completely wreck itself, which I would prefer, especially if my kingdom is going to be involved.”

“As long as we do it,” Damen said, sinking down beside Laurent.Without any hesitation, Laurent laid himself down, head in Damen’s lap and gazed up at him. 

“You are insanely large,” Laurent observed.

Damen laughed warmly and shifted his fingers through Laurent’s hair, “And you are heart wrenchingly beautiful.”

“I like it,” Laurent continued, as though Damen hadn’t said a word.“It makes me feel safe.”

“Safe.”

Laurent nodded lazily, his eyes now shut.“I could fall asleep here, I think.I’m warm, I’m happy, I’m safe, and you are a very good pillow.I probably only think that because I’m not thinking…at all.Proximity to you and alcohol is the worst possible combination.”

“You can, if you want.”

Laurent nestled his head more comfortably between Damen’s thighs and mumbled, “Are you sure?I don’t want to cause you any discomfort.”

“Whatever you want.Always.” 

Laurent shifted once more then his breathing deepened and the rise and fall of his chest slowed.Damen was definitely feeling the alcohol, his head heavy, his thoughts liquid, and his limbs languid.It eased the muscles in his arms and shoulders, which were strained from holding his body upright and it made Laurent’s head in his lap alluring instead of bothersome.He remained in the same position, stroking Laurent’s hair, until he was confident he could stand and carry Laurent to the bed without toppling over and waking him.Once he was, he cradled Laurent’s head in his hands, shifting his body out from underneath it, then slipped his free arm under Laurent’s knees and bore him to the bed, making sure to cover him in sheets and swipe strands of hair free from his face.His breath was still steady and relaxed by the time Damen crawled into the bed beside him.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all continue to be amazing and incredible and wonderful and I can safely say that I'm probably in love with all of you. THANK YOU.  
> This chapter is essentially a long-ass transition chapter, so it might be sort of slow, but I threw in some smut to make it more bearable.  
> Anyways, enjoy!!!

The next morning began early with a slightly hungover Laurent, who was particularly vicious to everyone but Makedon, with whom he was still trying to formulate a positive relationship.Even Damen was on the receiving end of some biting comments, none harsh, but few with actual playfulness.

The hunt, on the other hand, was endlessly more rewarding.Both Damen and Laurent managed to prove their superior riding and hunting skills, maneuvering rocks and brush on the mountainside with ease, throwing spears with precise, intentional direction, only occasionally missing the speedy chamois.Together, they outscored Makedon and his entire retinue, and Laurent beat Makedon, though only just.Damen thought it likely the number of chamois Laurent had hit was very particular.He didn’t want to shame Makedon almost as much as he didn’t wish to lose.

Also, no dogs, horses, or people ended up injured, which was far from a guarantee hunting in forests, let alone in the mountains. 

They came back cold, slightly damp from the lingering clouds, and after a long, warm bath, Makedon brought out the griva and everyone got even drunker than they did the night before.Makedon did most of the story-telling, because his voice could carry through the entire hall and all of them were rowdy and full of objectionable behavior, popular choices for the crowd Damen and Laurent were with.Laurent told one story, not one he’d personally experienced, but one from a book he’d read and it ended up going over much better than Damen would’ve expected.Everyone was howling with laughter by the time he’d finished and Laurent had a proud expression on his face.

The rest of the night Makedon and Laurent spent in close conversation, Makedon even teaching Laurent an Akielon drinking song at one point.Damen left them to it, choosing to join the others in a drinking game, but he would glance back every once in awhile to check on Laurent and was happy to see both were often smiling and laughing.In fact, Laurent looked comfortable.He was making a friend.

After, on the walk back to their room, it was entirely necessary for them to lean against each other.Each other’s bodies were the only things keeping them standing and even that was unsure.They almost fell halfway back when Damen tripped over his own feet.If they had, it was likely they would’ve spent the night there, in the middle of the hallway.

When they finally managed to make it to the room, Damen collapsed in a chair and began drinking water straight away.He was going to try and drink as much water as he had alcohol before he went to sleep.That much he was aware he should do, or else it was going to be a truly terrible morning, likely rivaling the hangover he’d had in Akielos.

Laurent, on the other hand, was standing in the middle of the room, swaying slightly and pondering something.

“Whatever you’re thinking, you’re thinking it much too hard,” Damen slurred.“This is not a time for thinking.”Then he burst into laughter when he realized how many times he’d said “thinking” in such a brief amount of time.Laurent kept pondering, but now while staring at Damen.

“Water?” Damen asked, holding out his cup.

Laurent stumbled over and grasped the cup, almost dropping it.He peered inside and then cuffed Damen’s head.“It’s empty, idiot.”

“Is it?” Damen asked, rubbing his head where Laurent had hit him.Then he started laughing again.Laurent swayed once more, practically falling.Damen sprung up, which he regretted as a wave of nausea buffeted him, but he caught Laurent in his arms nonetheless.His face was pale and a fine layer of sweat coated it.

“You don’t look so good,” Damen murmured.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.I’ve never thrown up before, but I think those days might…” He paused, the thought deserting him.“Have you thrown up before?Does it feel like you’re on a tiny boat amidst huge waves, because that’s kind of where I’m at and the world is definitely spinning.I can’t decide if it’s entirely unpleasant, actually, but…”

Something in his face changed and Damen thought that was probably a sign that it had turned unpleasant.He picked Laurent up all of the way, cradling him in his arms (which Laurent heavily protested the entire time) and carried him into the bathroom, laying him down in front of the pail typically used to transport water for baths.If Damen had thought about it before acting, he likely would’ve decided against carrying Laurent in his state, but he hadn’t.

“I think you’re gonna need that,” Damen said.They were both on the floor now and while Damen was pretty sure he wasn’t going to need to throw up and was also pretty sure he wasn’t going to want to be here when Laurent started, he didn’t move.It simply struck him as too much work.

“I’ve decided something,” Laurent said.

“What’s that?”

The thought had escaped him again and Laurent rested his forehead against Damen’s chest and said, “I’m never getting this drunk again.My brain is drowning.” 

Then there was a sudden movement and Laurent was throwing up into the pail.Damen sighed loudly, but was glad Laurent hadn’t missed or thrown up all over his chest.Lazily, Damen wound his fingers through Laurent’s hair and gathered it up in one hand, chunk by chunk, holding it back from Laurent’s face.He also murmured things.He couldn’t say what, because he forgot almost the moment he said them, but he hoped they were encouraging.

When there was some relief, Damen weaved his way back to the main room and grabbed the pitcher of water and brought it back to the bathroom, helping Laurent drink some.Helping was the wrong word.Attempting to help.Water got everywhere, earning Damen some choice glares and snide remarks, comments Damen just laughed at fondly.

After some time, it appeared Laurent was done and they lay together on the bathroom floor, their limbs tangled and cramped as the space wasn’t very large.Laurent said, “I think we should get a cat.”

“A cat?”Damen scrunched his nose.He could count the number of times he’d been in the same room as a cat on one hand.It wasn’t that Damen didn’t like them, but they were so frustratingly independent.That complaint sounded ridiculous to Damen, when he connected it with who he was lying next to.

“Much better than children.Pets, I mean.Prepares us for the whole heir debacle, a debacle I’d rather not deal with.Ever.”

“Why?”

“It’s us, Damen.Okay, less you, more me.I can’t even begin to imagine how completely we’ll…I’ll…fuck up a child.No innocent thing deserves to be mixed up in my family, my entirely dead family of betrayers and manipulators.Besides Auguste; he has to be exempt.”

Damen tried to clear the fog from his brain and managed to say, “That’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard.”

“What is?The cat or…”

“I can’t talk about this right now.”He really couldn’t.He could barely process the words in the first place.It was like trying to listen to someone talk underwater.

“We’re not even talking about anything,” Laurent said.

“Bed sounds really nice.”

“It does.Moving…less so.”

“We’ll wait a little longer then.”

“You can go, you know,” Laurent said, “I’ll be fine.”

“Are you just saying that?”

“You’ll never know.Go to bed.”

Damen sighed and pushed himself onto his knees, pausing for a moment to make sure he was ready, and then pushed onto his feet.The second he collapsed on the bed, his eyes were closed.Sleep was quick to follow.

 

Damen bolted up in bed to a loud crash.  “What in the…” he murmured, clasping his head.

Laurent was on the floor in the middle of the room, a vase shattered around him.“Sorry,” he said.“I’ll just…”

“Did you sleep on the floor last night?” Damen interrupted.

“No.”

It was entirely unconvincing.Not because of his expression or voice, both of which were perfectly schooled, but because of his hair and clothing, which were an utter mess; a mess very different from the kind of mess that came from sleeping on a mattress.“You did,” Damen laughed.Laughing was unwise.It only made his head throb.

Laurent didn’t even try to pretend.He remained on the floor and dejectedly picked up a few pieces of shattered pottery.“How are we going to ride horses today?”

“I’ve done it before.”

There was a flicker of hope in Laurent’s eyes, which Damen quickly snuffed.“It’s not fun.”

“This is the first time in my life I haven’t wanted my head,” Laurent groaned.“Call for a servant would you?I’m not cleaning this up.”

Removing himself from bed, Damen walked slowly to the door, and ordered the guard outside to send someone and then he promptly returned to bed, pulling the covers back over him.

“Oh and can you…”

Damen grumbled, “No,” from his pillow.“Your turn to stand.”

Laurent made a very audible sigh, one intended entirely for Damen, and got up.He picked his way out of the maze of cracked pottery and told the other guard to work on food and iron tea.Then he lifted the sheets, letting a cold, wafting air in, and snuggled up beside Damen.

Damen jerked away and groaned.“Your feet are ice.”

“Warm them up then.”Laurent stubbornly planted his feet right in between Damen’s calves.Damen flinched but didn’t shove the feet away, recalling the fact Laurent had spent the night on the floor. 

“This is awful,” Damen said.

“Mmm,” Laurent mumbled against his shoulder. 

“Are you trying to sleep?”

“Threw up most of the night and a bit this morning.”

“You did?” Damen said, turning further so he could see Laurent more clearly.“Why didn’t you wake me?I would’ve sat with you.”

His shoulder received a kiss.“I was alright.You needed sleep.”

“Laurent…”

A sigh.The eyelids peeled away revealing weary blue eyes.“It wasn’t stemming from my psychotic desire to do everything alone.”The tone of his voice hinted of mockery.

“I didn’t mean…”

“Shh,” Laurent said, closing his eyes.

Damen did.He didn’t feel like arguing, not right now.

A servant entered, bearing food and iron tea.He set the plates down at the end of the bed without being asked, which while a bit forward, Damen decided he was profoundly grateful for.The servant had likely done the same for many this morning and was simply anticipating needs.He then proceeded to inform Damen and Laurent that their horses were being prepared for departure.Once he’d seen to that, he moved to the broken vase and swept it up and away with businesslike efficiency, leaving the room before Damen had even fully comprehended that he was there.

“Remember any of last night?”Damen was curious why they’d talked about a cat.He was pretty sure they had.

Laurent shook his head.“Parts,” he mumbled.“Shut up.I’m sleeping.”

“You need to eat and drink some of this tea.”

“I can look after myself.”

“Yes, but now you have someone to do it for you,” Damen replied, sitting up, lifting the covers, which Laurent protested, and pulled over the plates of food, eating scraps for himself.He handed some to Laurent who accepted it, stared for a moment, then tossed it disgustedly back on the plate. “Seriously?”

“Makes me nauseous.”

“Have tea, at least.”

“I hate you,” Laurent said.But he did sit up, leaning against the headboard, and drank the tea.Then he laughed, slowly, then uproariously.

“What?” Damen asked, trying not to laugh himself.It would hurt and the sooner Laurent stopped, the better, because the noise wasn’t exactly comfortable either.

“Iron tea.Remember when Makedon told me to have my slave fetch me some and I told you to and…and then you stood up.”The laughing started up again.“And then you stood there awkwardly, exchanging panicked looks with Nikandros.Actually, Nikandros’ was distinctly more homicidal.”

Damen laughed.It wasn’t his fondest memory, but it seemed so far in the past and so removed from anything that would matter now, that he couldn’t help it.“Remember when I told you that you’d said you missed me and you flushed so hard I was worried you were going to faint.”

“Hmm,” Laurent said, his laughter stalling.“I see now why perhaps my version wasn’t quite as funny to you.”

“I’m actually quite fond of that day,” Damen said.

“Why?Because my entire act fell apart?”Laurent visibly cursed himself, “I really should’ve built up a tolerance.”

“Partly.Mostly because the moment you flushed, I knew I’d been right.All of those weeks of doubting what I thought had happened in Ravenel, of being so sure that something in your account didn’t add up, and I was right.”

“You like being right, do you?”

“I do,” Damen said, taking a sip of tea.Laurent smiled, then chugged the rest of his tea, squinting as he swallowed.He got out of bed after that, his expression remaining neutral and free of pain, though Damen knew that couldn’t possibly be true, and he pulled a book from one of his saddlebags.Grabbing the plate from the bed, he placed it on the table beside a chair, which he proceeded to curl up in, opening his book and occasionally eating a shred of food.

“Read to me?”

Laurent smiled and started voicing the words on the page in the middle of the sentence he’d been on.

 

They spent most of the morning engaged in reading, before the servant returned, declaring the horses ready to leave whenever they were.   Laurent hopped up immediately and got dressed.  Damen scurried to follow suit and it wasn’t long before they were out in the courtyard of Acquitart, Makedon and his retinue lined up to say their goodbyes.  They’d asked last night if they could stay a few more days and take further advantage of the mountains, which Laurent had allowed without a moment’s thought.

Laurent was currently shaking Makedon’s hand and Damen struggled to maintain a straight face when Makedon pulled him into a hug, one Laurent accepted, but very stiffly.He didn’t know what to say afterwards, either, so he simply shook Makedon’s hand one more time and said, “Thank you for the company.”Then he turned his back and mounted his horse.

When Damen reached Makedon, they hugged and Damen murmured into his ear, “Thank you for making the effort.”

Makedon shook his head, grasping Damen’s shoulders, and looking into his eyes.“No need,” he said.“I like him.He’s tough; does what’s necessary.Besides, he’s surprisingly good company.”

“Yes,” Damen said, glancing back at Laurent, who was determinedly staring straight ahead, waiting, his horse firmly under his control.

“I see you’re anxious to go,” Makedon said, laughter dancing in his eyes.“Say hi to Nikandros for me.”

“I will,” Damen smiled.He mounted and then Laurent and him were riding out of Acquitart and toward Ravenel, where Jord and Nikandros were meant to be stationed, their base for controlling patrols and positions along the border.It was very near the center of the border and closer to it than any Akielon fortifications, so it was the perfect place.

They camped once during the journey, after a long, sweaty, and painful day, before they made it to Ravenel mid-afternoon the next day.It was largely empty, though it was fully staffed and Jord and Nikandros—along with a couple of senior soldiers there for advising purposes—were present.All of these men were waiting when Damen and Laurent rode in.

Damen’s horse had barely come to a stop, when he leaped off and walked briskly to Nikandros, crushing him in a hug.“It’s good to see you, my friend.”

“And you.”A pause.“Don’t ever leave me in charge of Akielos again, Damen.I won’t do it.”

“What happened?You didn’t mention anything in your reports.” 

“Oh, nothing.I just had to sit through lots of boring meetings with insipid men.It doesn’t suit me at all.This,” Nikandros motioned generally around him, “This I like much better.”

“Anything to do with Jord?” Damen smiled.He made sure to whisper as Jord was very close.

Nikandros grinned.It was a type of grin Damen was very familiar with, they type that couldn’t be prevented, no matter how hard one tried.“Maybe,” he said, slightly shy.Damen grinned back at that.It meant Nikandros really liked him.“I want to talk to you about that, actually.”

“We will,” Damen said, slapping his shoulder.“Tonight.I promise.”There was no way Nikandros was getting out of it.There was a bet to be settled.

“Are you planning to leave tomorrow?”

Damen nodded.

“Then we’ll have to use the night well.”

Damen walked a couple of paces to Jord and shook his hand.“You look well, Jord.How’s the border suiting you?”

“Well,” Jord smiled.“He looks happy,” he said, nodding towards Laurent.“Thank you.I’m sorry I ever doubted…”

Damen put up his hand.“You had every right, Jord.”A short pause.“I never asked but…why did he forgive you?It didn’t seem possible after what happened with Aimeric.”

“It seems I have you to thank for that as well.”

They exchanged smiles and then Damen walked over to Laurent, who was engaged in conversation with Nikandros.Damen had only managed to pick up a few words while he’d been talking to Jord and none of them seemed to have anything to do with the border. That’s because they weren’t.Nikandros was none to casually assaying Laurent on the spot, after just having arrived.It was callous, but it didn’t surprise Damen.Sometimes, Nikandros lost sight of formalities where Damen was directly involved.It was often part of what made him a good friend.

“I assure you,” Laurent was saying, “I won’t hurt him ever again.I’m not sure what you want me to say to you, beyond that.I suggest you watch.It will become evident.Though, I also suggest not watching too closely.I’m not one for sharing.”

“Are you threatening my oldest friend, sweetheart?”

“Only thinly veiled threats.He’s accusing me of all sorts of outrageous things.”Laurent didn’t look at all offended, just mildly curious and wildly teasing.The glance he gave Nikandros was appraising, similar to the way he used to look at Damen when Damen had done something surprising.

“I’m sure most are earned,” Damen said, shooting a far from thinly veiled glare at Nikandros, who grimaced slightly and eased his aggressive stance, his eyes begging apology.

“Yes,” Laurent smiled.It was a devilish smile, one that would not reassure Nikandros in the slightest.

“I think, perhaps, we should go unpack, Laurent.”

“Whatever you say, lover.”

“Stop needling Nikandros,” Damen said, as they were walking away.“If you actually want him to like you, I suggest you stop irritating him.He sees the face you give him and that’s the only thing he sees.”

After a moment, “Is it important to you that we get along?”

“He is my greatest friend.”

Laurent nodded and with a smile, said, “I’ll go easy, then.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” 

 

The evening was spent feasting and drinking (if you weren’t Damen and Laurent, that is, who still grew nauseous at the smell) and cautiously poking their way through conversations.  It went better than Damen could’ve imagined.  It helped slightly that all four had shared experience, which was where most of the conversation landed, on various battles, war tactics, favored weapons, and a couple of stories about girls in brothels.  Laurent was the only one who didn’t quite have the same amount of experience, but he managed to pretend he did, even among people who actually knew it was quite the opposite.

It also helped immensely that Jord had someone.Both he and Nikandros were still stumbling through each other’s languages, but Jord managed to interject whenever he sensed Nikandros wasn’t understanding something and made it so he understood.He always did it in soft whispers so as not to interrupt Damen and Laurent and Nikandros happily leaned in close each time, a soft smile playing at the corners of his lips.They managed to maintain an ease of conversation between each other as well, knowing each other’s limits.There were lots of casual, thoughtless touches, too and Damen was pleasantly surprised that they’d managed to attain such attentiveness in such a short amount of time.They’d obviously spent quite a lot of that time together.The tenderness on Nikandros’s face was intoxicating and Jord was clearly in a constant state of wonder over him.If it wasn’t for the happiness of his friend, Damen would’ve been gagging.He’d probably throw in some healthy teasing nonetheless, despite being an easy target himself.

When the pitcher of wine was empty, Jord declared he was heading to bed.Nikandros watched him leave, almost forlornly, and then said, “To the battlements?”

Damen nodded and stood, reaching for Laurent, who shook his head with a small smile.“I think I’ll go to bed, too.”

“Please come.”

“No.I know you two would like some time alone.”Laurent extended his body, leaning on Damen’s shoulder and whispered, “I’ll be waiting…to settle our bet.”The look he gave Damen as he left the room was entirely unfair, leaving Damen open-mouthed as he watched Laurent’s retreating figure.

Neither Nikandros or Damen talked until they were in the open air on the battlements, a soft breeze rustling their hair, the night pleasantly warm, all of the stars out.

Grudgingly, Nikandros said, “Whatever I think of him, I no longer think you’re wrong.He does love you.”

“I know,” Damen said, smiling softly into the night.

“You’ve rode alone together from Arles?”

Damen nodded.

“You won’t be able to do that once the people hear what you intend to do,” Nikandros said.

Damen shrugged.“The privacy we’ve had so far has been a luxury.I never thought it would last forever.Besides, you’d be surprised what Laurent is capable of fabricating.”

“You think he could get you from Arles to Ios alone and alive once the word gets out?”

“Don’t you?”

Nikandros stared into the night and didn’t reply.Damen bumped up against him with a grin and Nikandros grinned in return, staring at his fingers resting on the stone walls.“Do you like him?” he asked.

“I do,” Damen said.“He’s a good man.A loyal and honest one.”

“More Akielon than Veretian,” Nikandros agreed.Damen shot him a look and Nikandros sighed, saying, “Oh fine.A better man than most Veretians I know.”

“Which is very few.”

“True,” Nikandros allowed.

A comfortable silence reigned, the two friends gazing up at the stars and simply relishing each other’s company, something that had become all too rare of late.They’d never had much need for talking in their relationship as they already had a good idea of what the other would say.

“How did it happen?” Damen asked.

“I knew exactly what you were doing when you sent me back to the border before you were back in Ios,” Nikandros said, “So, from the moment I arrived, I took advantage and started to court him.It’s surprisingly hard when you know none of the words, but he got the general idea.At first, his responses were incredibly shy, but after a day, he started responding to my advances with fervor, which led to hours and hours spent learning Veretian and Akielon respectively…” Nikandros looked up at Damen and then automatically stopped, flushing lightly.“Oh shut up, you’re no better.”

Listening to the words, Damen knew he’d lost the bet.He’d think about how he felt about that later.Now, he had to make sure.“So you haven’t…”He made a crude gesture with his fingers.

Nikandros sighed.“No.I was kind of hoping…”His eyes drifted far away for a second, before pulling back as he said, “But, no.”

Damen thought back to what he knew of Jord and what Laurent had told him and said, “Well, when you do, tell me how it is.”

Nikandros laughed, “And how is it with Laurent, my friend?”

“Sometimes I come faster than I did with that first girl, the one with the excellent tongue, and that’s when I was a virgin.”

“No,” Nikandros breathed.“Laurent?”

Damen burst out laughing at the expression on Nikandros’s face, but nodded in earnest.

“And,” Damen said, adding kindling to the fire, “It’s often slow.”

“What has he done to you?” Nikandros asked, mouth agape.

“I don’t know.”

 

Damen wandered in late, but Laurent was still up, as he’d promised.  He was reading by candlelight, on a couch in the corner of their relatively small room and Damen gasped, “No!  I wanted to know what happened.”

Laurent stilled and stared at Damen.“What?”

“In the book.I can’t believe you’re reading it without me.”

There was an incredulous silence, a smile growing throughout it.“I have read this before, you realize.”

“Oh.I hadn’t, no.”

“Obviously.”Laurent set the book down and approached until he was only inches from Damen.“I’d be happy to read from where we left off.”

“Well…good.”

Laurent gazed into his eyes and then his smile grew even bigger, if that was at all possible.“I won, didn’t I?”

“Yes,” Damen growled.It was thoroughly irritating.As what that meant sunk in, Laurent’s smile vanished and his face went flat, his eyes stone.He appeared to be floundering for words, but was coming up empty.

“Nervous?” Damen asked.

“I…are you?”

“A bit,” Damen laughed, half-heartedly.

“We don’t have to…I mean…”Laurent cut himself off, running his fingers through his hair.“I know what it is to do something I don’t want to do and I wouldn’t…you have to know…”

“Laurent,” Damen murmured, stroking Laurent’s cheek gently.“Stop.”Then he leaned down and kissed him.“There’s no need to put pressure on it.”

Laurent nodded, leaning into Damen, and nuzzling his collarbone and neck with his lips.Damen’s head fell back, his hands dangling uselessly on Laurent’s back, until the warm breath and the flashes of teeth grew to be too much and he ducked his head, smashing their lips together in a heated kiss.Walking backwards, Laurent lead them to the bed, his hands gripping Damen’s hair like he would the reins of a horse.Then he swiveled, shoving Damen down onto the bed in front of him and climbed on top, knees on either side of Damen’s waist.

It was heady seeing him up there.Laurent positioned above him was by no means rare in their time together, but it still managed to feel new and strange each time, as it wasn’t something Damen had engaged in with past lovers.Laurent had a habit of keeping himself distant while they were kissing, so that Damen had to lift his back off the bed and reach up to keep their lips locked; make a show of arousal and desperation.He was doing that now.

They’d done this before.It was simple, easy.Their hips were moving together, lips met or dangled just over each other, hair was twisted in knots around fingers, clothing was hastily removed the more desperate they grew.

Laurent moved to Damen’s neck, kissing and sucking, until Damen was begging for him to do something, anything, even just a brush of fingers on the inside of his thigh.That was when Laurent grabbed his hands and pushed them into the mattress above Damen’s head.

“They stay there,” he ordered, in between kisses on Damen’s stomach.Damen wounds his fingers into the sheets, hoping that would be enough to override impulse, or at least to remind him what had been asked of him.

The kisses ceased for a moment on the bone jutting from his hip and Laurent looked up at him, blue eyes controlled but dark.Eyes locked, Laurent lightly tongued Damen’s slit, flinging Damen’s head back into the mattress.

“You won the bet,” Damen gasped, as Laurent executed an opened mouth slide down the side of Damen’s cock.

He keened when Laurent’s mouth disappeared and he severely regretted saying anything at all.Laurent simply said, “Yes.I’m in charge and this is what I’m doing.”He noticed one of Damen’s hands was no longer above his head and he shoved it back into a place with a cold stare.Then his mouth was back, breath hot against the tip, his tongue weaving tight patterns.Damen tried controlling every action of his body, not wanting to betray Laurent’s trust, but he finally broke down as the slow teasing continued and he jutted his hips upward, forcing the issue.Laurent’s hands pressed his hips down, which Damen allowed with a short laugh, aware they both knew just how little effect Laurent really had on Damen’s physicality.Laurent dove into a long slide, before focusing on the tip, bobbing up and down at a steadier and quicker pace.A rhythm began to develop and Damen moaned as he could feel the swell of warmth in his stomach.He was hazardously considering placing his fingers in Laurent’s hair and pushing to increase the pace, when Laurent lifted off completely, kissing the inside of Damen’s thigh, before straddling him once more and curling his fingers into Damen’s, cuffs clinking, pressing their joined hands into the mattress.

Abruptly, he rolled off and stood, fetching oil from the bedside table.Damen watched as he unstoppered the bottle and coated his fingers judiciously in the oil.

“Move up the bed,” Laurent said and Damen obeyed without question.Crawling in between Damen’s legs, Laurent gently moved them to either side, kissing the tops of the feet he planted down into the mattress, and parted the cheeks of Damen’s ass with his thumbs.Then he ran his fingers across and around Damen’s asshole, keeping his eyes focused on Damen’s face, looking for any sign of distress.It wasn’t an entirely unpleasant sensation and Damen nodded, his heart hammering in his chest, but his chest flooded with warmth at the sight of Laurent keeping watch.This time, Laurent ducked his face down, and ran his tongue there, never penetrating, just on the edge.

Multiple times, Laurent lifted his head and made sure Damen was okay to continue.He also pumped Damen’s cock a couple of times to keep the need and desire at the forefront of his mind.It was all calculated perfectly.Damen was never bored or worried or unsatisfied and entirely comfortable.When Laurent’s tongue finally penetrated, it was a relief and Damen groaned in absolute pleasure, his hands curling into Laurent’s hair, bringing him deeper.Only when Laurent stilled did he remember what was ordered of him and he withdrew his hands automatically, flushing in embarrassment.The stillness lasted a few seconds longer before Laurent looked up at him, eyes softening at the color in Damen’s cheeks, and whispered, “It’s alright,” purposefully taking one of Damen’s hands and placing it on top of his head.It looked utterly ridiculous and if the gesture hadn’t been so profound and moving, Damen would’ve laughed.Instead, he moved slowly, stroking the hair and grasping it gently, begging with his fingers for Laurent to continue, which he did.

Laurent added a finger, then two, keeping his tongue involved as well, moving slowly, letting Damen get used to the sensation.It stung slightly, but it wasn’t even near any alarming level of pain and the longer they were there, the more he relaxed, the more pleasure he began to feel, his cock now throbbing and leaking pre-come onto his stomach. 

Raising himself into a sitting position, Laurent began to scissor his fingers, while using his other hand to massage Damen’s balls.As he was doing so, he said, “It may hurt.Stop me if you need to.”His eyes were serious as he continued, “I will be careful.”

Damen felt like clay in Laurent’s hands.His limbs were slack, his mouth was open (it was the only way he could breathe any longer) and he found, surprisingly, that he wanted Laurent inside him and he wanted it now.Not one to shy away from vulnerability, Damen said truthfully, “I want you inside me, Laurent.Please.”

Laurent sat back and pondered the situation, taking time to take Damen in, panting and wanting beneath him.A wry smile crossed his face and he leaned back over Damen, kissing him once, before whispering in his ear, “I quite like this.Would you prefer to bend over or lie on your back?”The words exuded sensuality.

“I’d look on your face.”

Laurent laughed, kissing the lobe of his ear, and said, “Of course you would, you over-sized romantic.” 

Only then did Laurent remove his fingers.The bottle of oil was in his hand once again and he poured a large dollop into Damen’s hand.Comprehending, Damen gripped Laurent’s cock and stroked a handful of times, watching as Laurent’s eyelids fluttered, his hips moved, and his mouth opened in a series of barely-stifled gasps.Grinning, Damen continued and he likely would’ve until Laurent had come, except Laurent batted his hand away and then positioned himself against Damen’s hole, hooking Damen’s legs behind his back, and then pressed in as slowly as possible, pulling out for every little bit of progress he made.Then, before Damen was aware of it, his eyes intent on Laurent’s the whole time, Laurent’s hips were pressed against him and he felt full.It pained him a fair amount, a burning sensation, but it wasn’t totally unfamiliar to the situation and Damen knew he could handle whatever came next, so he nodded.

That was when Laurent moved and the burning blossomed into pleasure.With every roll of his hips, Laurent’s gasps grew closer and closer to groans, until he was moaning with abandon, a flush rising all the way up his body, his lips against the calf of Damen’s left leg.Damen joined soon after, their moans interacting and playing with each other, the warmth in his stomach growing, until Damen realized he was about to come.He was lying on his back, his legs now over Laurent’s shoulders, his hands furiously working his own cock, utterly helpless and entirely subject to the whims of Laurent, and he was about to come.

Laurent gasped his name, his hips rocking faster and with less rhythm and that was when Damen came.Pulling out, Laurent held his cock between his thumb and index finger and slid them back and forth until he came too, an almost loud moan coming from his lips.It was the most sound Damen had ever heard from him and he smiled, amazed that Laurent could even manage it.

“I love you,” Damen said, as he relaxed, the flood of post-coital insouciance extending across his entire body.His grin was childish and sideways and Laurent returned it with equal fervor, slumping down against Damen.

“I love you, too,” he whispered.“Can you fetch the towel?I can’t move.”

Damen nodded, slipping out from underneath Laurent, and picked up a bowl of water and a towel.Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Laurent collecting himself, schooling his face and taming his eyes.

Once they were clean, Laurent fell back against him, half covering Damen’s body and said into his neck, “Did you…was that…”

“That was perfect.”

A small huff of laughter.“Good, because I’d like to do it again sometime.”

“As would I.”A pause, then with a hint of laughter, “You were making noise.”

Laurent bit his neck none too gently.“Couldn’t hear over you.”His body was tense and Damen ran a finger over Laurent’s bottom lip to reassure him that it was okay and he was done teasing.The tenseness subsided considerably and Laurent snuggled up closer into Damen’s side, his toes barely reaching halfway down Damen’s calf. 

It wasn’t long after they fell asleep, just like that.

 

The next day, they bid goodbye to Nikandros and Jord, with a promise to see them again soon, and continued across the border into Akielos.Laurent lead them towards a town a couple miles east of Marlas, where they got a room in an inn for the night.The minute they were up in their room, Laurent sat down at the desk and wrote a short note, handing it to a messenger that declared he’d been waiting for Laurent a couple of days, and then waited, staring out the window, his shoulders tight, his eyes fixedly away from Damen.

“What is it?”

“I’m meeting someone tonight.You should come.”

“Who?”

Laurent’s body tensed even farther and he whispered, “It’s best you don’t know.Not yet.”

“What does that mean?”

Silence.

Damen was about to press him, concerned with the level of secrecy Laurent was surrounding himself in tonight, when the messenger returned, a folded up piece of paper in hand.Snatching it away, Laurent read the words quickly, before tossing it into the fire.“They’re at a tavern across the street.I’m a Veretian lord and you’re my pet.Come, let’s go.”

“Woah,” Damen said, gripping Laurent’s arm.“I’m willing to go in blind, because I trust you, but I’m done playing the slave.Besides, it doesn’t make sense.The borders aren’t open and while a lord could cross with the proper amount of money and the right kind of business, it’s easier to pull off me as an Akielon lord with a blonde-haired slave.Much easier.”

Laurent nodded slowly, pieces and building blocks connecting in his head.Damen could almost see them working.In that moment, he also read the stillness and formality as nervousness.Almost fear.Something was either very wrong or very important and Damen wasn’t entirely sure how far to let his trust extend.He didn’t have a chance to decide, however, because Laurent said, “Very well,” removed his chiton, pulled on one of Damen’s plain white ones, tying fabric tight in hidden places, and then tugged him out of the door.

Before they entered the tavern, Laurent released his hand and stepped behind Damen, assuming a position of submission.He nodded at Damen and Damen walked in, wishing he knew anything about who he was supposed to be looking for.He supposed Laurent would find some way to subtly point him in the right direction.

But there was no need.The minute Damen stepped inside, a swathe of long blonde hair running down a swan-like neck captured his attention.He would recognize that relaxed grace and perfect posture anywhere.What emotions flowed through him, Damen wasn’t sure, but he didn’t even spare a glance for Laurent as he fled from the tavern and out into the cool night air.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW DOES THIS KEEP GETTING CRAZIER??? I love all of you. To death. Seriously, anything you need, let me know.  
> I'd like to give a special shout out to @vereandakielos for the multiple and lovely fic recs, as well as beta reading this chapter. I owe you so much. The anything you need comment applies even more to you.  
> I would also like to say that the next chapter might be a slightly longer wait......hehe...I kind of started and finished The Foxhole Court series in like three days and my writing production was way down. Either way, I'll do my best.
> 
> Okay, update over...enjoy, you guys!!!

Damen’s hands were shaking and he had very little control over his body or mind.There were only three thoughts he was capable of thinking.One, that he needed to hit something;two, that Laurent was going to try and find him; three, that he didn’t want to be found.

As he wandered aimlessly outside the tavern, searching for a place he could hide and rage in solitude, he realized he had no idea why he was angry.It wasn’t as though this was the first time he’d seen Jokaste since she’d shipped him away as a slave.He even knew why she’d done that now, but there was something…something that was bothering him and it had risen inside him like a creature from the depths of the sea.

Damen ended up behind the tavern, at the edge of a stretch of wood.Wandering a few feet in, a tree from a branch brushed his face and he decided that was the perfect outlet for his anger.He turned and drove his fist into the trunk of the tree, hard, barely noticing the throbbing in his hand as he drew away and sunk down against the trunk, holding his head between his knees.

The anger gradually subsided as his hand grew more painful and in the clarity of pain, he realized that he was nowhere near hidden enough for Laurent to find it difficult to locate him.In fact, it was likely Laurent had heard the crack of his hand hitting the tree and was almost here.

He was already here.Damen kept his head between his knees as he listened to the snap of twigs underneath feet and then felt the soft tingling of his skin at the presence of Laurent nearby.

“Damen,” his voice said, softly, just above Damen’s head.Taking a few deep breaths, Damen raised his eyes to Laurent’s, which were almost black in the near-darkness.It was in seeing Laurent that he knew why he was angry and quite a few other things clicked into place.

“You’ve known since Arles,” he murmured, “It’s why we traveled alone, isn’t it?This meeting couldn’t have happened as easily if we’d been surrounded by a retinue.You’ve known this was coming and you didn’t tell me.Why?”

Laurent’s eyes were unreadable, but Damen sensed his surprise in the silence that followed his statement.Laurent had ventured out here without any idea why Damen was upset.But he’d likely suspected it was the sight of Jokaste, not anything he’d done.“I…I was concerned you’d do something rash,” Laurent said.“I couldn’t risk that.”

“You were concerned I’d fuck everything up; because telling me about it and thoroughly explaining all of the reasons it’d be a bad idea if I did do something rash wouldn’t have worked.What was I going to do?Storm into the tavern the moment we arrived and decapitate her?Yell at her?Kiss her?”Damen shook his head, clenching his jaw, and stared past Laurent at a large tree in the distance, whose branches were rattling against it’s neighbor’s in the wind.He instantly regretted his last rhetorical question, but his pride wouldn’t allow him to apologize for it now.

“I don’t know,” Laurent said, his voice flat.“I didn’t know what you would do and those are the kind of variables I eliminate.”

“So I’m a variable.”

“Damen…” Laurent sighed.

“Is that such a ridiculous question?”

“Of course it is,” Laurent said, voice rising marginally.Damen found he was morbidly pleased he was inciting a reaction that broke through Laurent’s carefully composed mask.“You are not a variable.If you were…”

“I wouldn’t be here.”

Laurent kneeled down on the ground and bobbed and weaved his head until he captured Damen’s eyes with his.“I’m sorry.I should’ve told you.”Damen looked at him skeptically.

“I should have,” Laurent whispered.It was all he said. 

“Yes.You should’ve,” Damen said.“I have to know what’s going on.I deserve that much.”

“I know.”Laurent didn’t say anything for a long time, but Damen waited because he could tell Laurent was constantly on the verge of saying more.“I’m sorry,” he said, again.“You deserve so much more than I can give you.”

“Don’t make this about you.”

“But it is about me.”

He wasn’t technically wrong, but it was the last thing Damen wanted to hear.He stood, brushing himself off and headed back towards the tavern, not waiting for Laurent, figuring he would easily catch up, which he did.

“Does she have a part she’s playing as well?” Damen asked, briskly.

“A high-end courtesan.All you have to do is flirt, offer a ridiculous sum of money, and then she’ll escort us to a room upstairs.”Laurent’s face was all business, nothing else coming through.Damen briefly considered forgiving him, kissing the composure away, but he was still angry and feeling petty.

“When were you going to tell me?”

“She’d see the roles I’d assigned flipped and would make sure to tell you exactly who she was.I knew you’d play along.”

Damen rolled his eyes to himself.“Look submissive,” he said, waving his hand back towards Laurent.It protested in pain and Damen brought it to his body, cradling it with his other hand.Gasping a curse under his breath, he shoved the tavern door open so Laurent wouldn’t have time to be sympathetic and soften Damen’s mood with precisely picked words.

It was easy to spot Jokaste, who was now entertaining a couple of curious males at her table.She was engaging their attentions, but every man there was painfully aware they didn’t have a chance.She was playing her role as perfectly as Laurent had anticipated.Damen shoved his way through them, shooting Jokaste his best smile and she raised an eyebrow at him, dismissing the other men with a wave of her hand and a few flirtatious quips.They were downtrodden, but still utterly smitten.Damen knew the feeling.Something similar had happened to him the first time he’d met her.It had been more respectfully done, but not any less dismissively.

“And who are you?” Jokaste smiled, leaning forward across the table, her hair falling down from her shoulder and hanging out in front of her body.It was in a delicate braid, a couple of waves loose.There was no sign of his nephew, which told Damen that Jokaste had retained at least one of her servants since they’d last seen each other.

“Damen, my lady.I’ve been here most of the night,” a hard lie to disprove, “And my gaze has been unable to focus anywhere else.Please, tell me I have a chance.”

Jokaste wound a finger through one of her waves and smiled delicately, “Who is your friend?”

“My slave, Aron.”Damen tried to school the grimace from his face.It was all he’d been able to come up with, without a momentary hesitation clouding the effect.Laurent expertly prostrated himself on the ground, as though he’d been doing it most of his life, head at Jokaste’s feet, and she laughed sweetly, waving him up.Laurent made sure the one gold cuff he had caught the light.It was such a brazen move that none would’ve questioned that there wasn’t one on his other wrist.“He’s stunning,” she said.

“Yes.I paid quite a lot for him.”

“Did you?” Jokaste asked, her eyes lighting at the turn of the conversation.She really was excellent at this.Damen hadn’t really ever seen in her action, not like this, and it was unsettling how attuned she was to deception.He was finding it exceptionally hard to maintain his roll.He was feeling incredibly overwhelmed and it was hard not to divert his attention to Laurent and attempt to decipher his expression.

“I’d be willing to make a similar payment to spend just one night with you.”

Jokaste raised a hand to her breast, rings on her fingers glittering in the light, and said, “I’m flattered.”

“Don’t be.You’re more beautiful than any I’ve ever seen.”

“What do you think it is about me?” she asked, her eyes flickering briefly to Laurent.Damen couldn’t drop the act now, but he sensed Jokaste had a much better grasp on the situation than he did.She was manipulating not only the simple act, but Laurent and him as well.

Damen reached across the table and tenderly stroked one of her hands with his.They were just as he remembered, soft and not callused. “Your hands,” he said, “These are a queen’s hands and they have secrets.Secrets I wish they’d tell me.”He’d said something similar to her once, when he’d been courting her.When her eyes met his, there was something just beyond the calm and flirtation, something more important.But, it only lasted a second.Instead, she brought out her best smile and said, “I think we could come to an arrangement.”

She stood unhurriedly, jewelry and silks dangling and catching the light, so she looked more like stars than a human being.Grasping Damen’s hand in hers, twining the fingers in sensuous ways, she led him up the stairs.Damen made a careless motion for Laurent to follow and he did, saying nothing.Jokaste motioned for two men Damen hadn’t even noticed to follow behind them.Of course she wasn’t here without protection.

They walked inside a cozy room with a large bed and a roaring fireplace.The doors closed and the two men remained outside, guarding them.Only then did everyone drop their act, picking up new and more familiar ones.Laurent’s expression was still flat, but every once in awhile, the corner of his mouth would waver into a frown.Jokaste went to a chair beside the fire and settled herself into it, undoing the plait in her hair and removing the gaudy rings from her fingers.While she was doing so, she watched Damen and Laurent.Damen, on the other hand, went to sit on the bed and pointedly stared at the wall, ignoring everyone.He hated this.

“There’s no point conducting such a performance, only to be this silent,” Jokaste said, carefully, “I was told we had something to discuss.” 

Neither Damen or Laurent said a thing.

“It’s nice to see you, Damen,” Jokaste continued.

Damen grumbled.

“Lovers’ quarrel?Would you two like me to mediate a reconciliation?”

Damen glanced over at Laurent who was rolling his eyes at Jokaste.She nodded, settling back into the chair, crossing her legs, and said, “I have some guesses, you know.Perhaps it will benefit you both to hear them and then we can continue with our actual business.I can tell Damen is angry and I can’t imagine why, unless he didn’t know he was meeting me tonight.If that’s the case, I would say to you, Laurent, that when Damen falls in love, he falls in love completely, and he expects something similar in return.And Damen, Laurent is severely jealous and that’s why he hasn’t made any effort to reassure you.”

“Oh,” Laurent said, in mock surprise, “Is this what jealousy feels like?I had no idea.”

“I have no interest in mending anything with Laurent in front of you,” Damen said, hurtling spears with his eyes at Jokaste.Even if everything she’d done had been out of love for him, he hadn’t yet forgiven her.

Jokaste sighed.“I’m not sure I could entrust my son to bickering children.That is what you’re here about, isn’t it?”

Damen took a long breath, eyes shut, and then rose from the bed.“I’m tired of all this…” he floundered for the words he was looking for, waving his hands around, “All this emotional detachment and manipulation and…I’m tired of both of you.I’m going to go get some air.”

“We’re supposed to be making love, Damen,” Jokaste reminded him gently.

“I don’t care.I’ve decided to act rashly.”He frowned at Laurent, then strolled out of the room, slamming the door behind him.The two guards managed to keep straight faces, even at the loud and unexpected sound of the door clacking against it’s frame.

He knew Jokaste wasn’t wrong, so he remained upstairs, simply knocking and listening at doors until he found an unoccupied room.He crossed it quickly and cracked open the window, leaning his head out of it.This wasn’t at all how he’d imagined his night going.

Damen took this time away from people to breathe in the cold night air and not think about anything.A silent mind was all he wanted right now, free from anger and the two maddening blondes only a couple of rooms away.

There were footsteps behind him and Damen groaned into the night air.“What?” he said, turning to find Laurent framed in the doorway, his eyes cautious and unsure.The lack of confidence and the fact that Laurent had entered the room anyways was almost enough to calm Damen down, but once he averted his eyes to Laurent’s forehead, the irritation returned.

“You want honesty?” Laurent asked.

“I want to be left alone, actually.”

It was infuriating, because even now, Laurent was saying exactly what he wanted to hear.Everything felt like a game and Damen felt grimy.But no matter his personal feelings on the matter, he was a player and Laurent was playing him as only Laurent could.A curiosity and desire gripped him for the honesty he’d just been promised.He turned back to the window and said, “You’re jealous?” 

There was a sharp inhale of breath and Damen couldn’t resist the temptation to see Laurent’s face, so he swiveled back around.Laurent’s expression was currently warped into a vision of unpleasantness.Apparently honesty included genuine, not stifled facial expressions.Either way, it was obvious jealousy wasn’t something he wanted to address.Good.

“I…you two have history, a history I know very little about, and I know you prefer women and she and I are incredibly alike and I can’t help wondering if the moment you understand what she really did for you, you’ll go back to her and leave me.I’ve already seen you forgive the unforgivable.”Laurent laughed shortly.“It sounds ridiculous saying it aloud.I’m actually very confident you won’t, but…well, it doesn’t help that we just fought,” he shrugged and leaned back against the wall, arms crossed.His body was incredibly tense and Damen began to feel bad for making him uncomfortable.There was also a small flame of pleasure in his stomach at the idea Laurent was jealous.Moving across the room, he sat down on the bed, entirely facing Laurent now.

“That is ridiculous,” Damen said.

“Are you trying to make me angry, too?”

“Sorry,” Damen sighed.“Probably.”

Laurent shoved himself from the wall and sat down beside Damen.Shyly, he extended his hand and drew it through Damen’s hair.“I’m trying,” he whispered.“I still have a warped notion of what it means to not be alone and…I’m trying, Damen, and I understand that I didn’t do it right this time.”Laurent sighed, watching his own fingers move through Damen’s curls, and said, “Teach me how to do this, Damen.Teach me how to love you.”

Whatever anger remained rushed out of his body and a warmth swelled in its place.He took Laurent’s hand in his and said, “You don’t need me to teach you anything.All I ask is that you trust me.”

“I do.”

“I know you want to,” Damen said.Then he took a deep breath before continuing, “I think you don’t know how to trust or, at least, you find it extremely difficult to do so.Perhaps…perhaps I need to be more patient.”

Laurent bent over the hand in his, hair falling into his face, and poked and prodded the mottled skin gently.“You hurt yourself,” he murmured.

“I punched a tree.”

A sharp exhale of breath.“Idiot.”

“Do you think it’s broken?”

Laurent shrugged.“I’m not an expert, but no, I don’t think so.”Then, laughing to himself, “Of course your hand is tougher than wood, you giant animal.”

“I’m sorry,” Damen whispered, looking back on all his previous actions and feeling foolish.

Laurent shook his head, kissing a bruise that was blooming on Damen’s hand.“You had every right to be upset.”

“It didn’t help it was Jokaste,” Damen admitted.

“You certainly do have a type, lover.”

“Should we return to her?”

Laurent nodded, “She will be insufferable.”Damen already knew that and wasn’t particularly looking forward to it.He did notice Laurent had a crick of a smile at the corner of his mouth.

“Can you play against her and win?”

At that Laurent grinned.“Probably.Not as easily as you could, however.”

That brought Damen to a halt, “What do you mean?”

“She still loves you,” Laurent said softly.“I think you know that.Her and I…we’re too evenly matched.There’s no pretense, no game I can really play…but, you, she either won’t try playing against you or she will, but only to watch you break straight through the games, smashing all of the walls she’s carefully constructed.”

“So you want me to go in there and smash walls?”

“You do it best,” Laurent said.

Damen helped Laurent from the bed and then stopped in front of the door.“You like her, don’t you?”

“I don’t.But maybe I would, if she wasn’t so attuned to you.”

“You’re not actually worried about that, are you?”

Laurent leaned into Damen and kissed him softly, his lips warm and entreating, searching for an answer.“No,” he said, finally.“I think I know better.”Then he slid his arms around Damen’s waist and pulled himself in tight.Damen folded around him and took a couple of deep breaths, inhaling the familiar scent of Laurent, feeling every last prickle of anger disappear with each exhale.

 

They returned to Jokaste who was still reclined in the chair beside the fire, her hair now completely down, the waves glistening in the firelight.  It reminded Damen of moments alone in his chamber, when she was wrapped in sheets, her hair slightly mussed.  He also got the distinct impression that was entirely the idea, to throw both Laurent and him off, gain whatever upper hand she could.  Damen directed his attention to Laurent, who was gazing at him, and smiled tenderly, happy to have him by his side.

“I see you’ve reconciled,” Jokaste said.“Lovely.It’s fascinating to…”

“Where’s the child?” Damen asked, cutting her off before she became as insufferable as Laurent predicted she would.

“Phaedrus.”

“Where’s Phaedrus?” Damen asked, rolling the name over his tongue.It was a good name.Strong.Not that it really mattered, but he felt it was a name worthy of his family.It didn’t ring similar to either his or Kastor’s name, as well, which Damen appreciated.A child who couldn’t and wouldn’t be blamed for the mistakes of his father and uncle.

“Always straight to business with you,” Jokaste smiled.When Damen said nothing and instead stared her down, she sighed, and said, “I found a lord who owed me a favor.He’s providing shelter for me and the child as well as a few of my lady’s maids.The child is with them.”

“What lord owes you a favor?” Damen asked, thinking back to when he’d spent time with her.There weren’t many lords in Akielos who wouldn’t have notified Damen of the sudden appearance of Jokaste at their estate.

“It’s a recent development.”

Damen glanced over at Laurent and he sighed, smiling despite himself, “Sex, Damen.”

“How’d you even manage to…oh never mind,” Damen grumbled, watching Jokaste’s eyebrows rise higher and higher in amusement.“Is he well?”

A soft smile graced Jokaste’s lips and she nodded.“He’s beautiful.Looks very like your father.”

“What would it take for the opportunity to meet my nephew?”

“Your new lover already knows.”

“Did he promise you anything?” Damen sighed, trying not to let any anger creep back in.He still wished he’d known more coming in, but there was nothing he could do about it now.

“Perhaps.”

“I didn’t,” Laurent said, his face very still as he stared at Jokaste.“All I wrote was that you were interested in meeting your nephew and that we should arrange to do so secretly so none got the wrong idea.”

“Searching for an heir?” Jokaste said, carefully.

“He’s my family,” Damen replied, before Laurent said anything else.It was still clearly a game between him and Jokaste, one of truth and lies.Damen thought it likely Jokaste was simply testing him, seeing how strong his and Laurent’s relationship was.The one thing he knew about Jokaste for sure was that she got what she wanted and if Laurent was right about her, Jokaste still wanted Damen.She had to know that was impossible now.

“You and family,” she said, “Haven’t you tired of family, Damen?What have they ever done for you?”

“I’ve got a new family.One I trust implicitly.”

“Oh, you mean the family you just argued with about that very thing?”

Laurent shifted and Damen glanced down to see him looking slightly uncomfortable.Damen took his hand, kissed the inside of his wrist, and said, “Yes.Him.”The smile Laurent gave him for that was unbelievably tender and sweet.Damen was surprised at it, since they were in front of Jokaste, not alone.Likely, it was just another part of the game.Damen did notice Jokaste’s serene expression got tangled up for a moment, not anticipating the genuine moment of affection.

“Very well.We can arrange a meeting.There are some conditions.”

“Of course,” Damen said.

“I would very much like to rescind on the hospitality of this lord as quickly as possible.I understand you’re interested in conducting this quietly, so I am more than happy to stay hidden away, served only by those you trust, if, when you’ve accomplished whatever it is you’re trying to accomplish, I am free to go where I please.Phaedrus will never leave my side.You will never be allowed to spend time with him alone, unless I specifically allow it.I will require transportation of some kind, preferably a wagon, and I need reassurance that if my son is not made your heir, that you will not shove either of us to the side or send us away.”

“Alright,” Damen said.“I have one condition of my own.”

“And it is?”

“Laurent gets the same access I do.”

“Damen…” Laurent whispered.Damen put his hand up and kept his eyes on Jokaste.She bit her lip and tilted her head, considering him, likely weighing her options. 

“Fine,” she said.

Damen nodded.“It’s settled then.When we arrive in Akielos, we’ll send a wagon to fetch you from Lord…”

Jokaste grimaced.“Lord Alexius.”

Damen laughed at that.“You mean, the big, hairy…”

“Do shut up,” Jokaste smiled unpleasantly.

“I’m sorry you’ve had to resort to that.”

“As am I.”Her smile softened and now she was about to laugh.Damen kept laughing until her own laughter burst into his, delicate and pealing.Despite everything, he still liked seeing her happy.What they had had and what they had left was more complicated than he’d imagined.

“I trust you are capable of making sure no one knows it’s you in the wagon.Promise whatever it takes to Lord Alexius to keep him quiet and Laurent and I will take care of the rest.”

She nodded.“Alright.”She paused.“Thoughts on sleeping arrangements, you two?”

“Take the bed,” Damen said.“Laurent and I will sleep by the fire.”

“What would you give me for a sheet or two?”

“A thank you.”

She laughed at that and threw them a sheet from her bed.“Thank you,” Damen said, as promised.He sat a couple of feet from the fire, dragging Laurent down beside him.Jokaste had already crawled into the bed and was watching them. 

Damen turned and curled the sheet around their shoulders, leaning his head on top of Laurent’s as they gazed into the fire.“I don’t suppose we can leave,” he murmured, the words barely a breath.All Jokaste would hear were muffled mumblings.Laurent returned his tone.

“Not really.”

“Tired?”

Laurent shook his head, his hair tickling Damen’s cheek.

“Me neither.”A pause.“Did I allow too much?”

“No.You actually got quite a bit more than I thought possible.”

“Explain.”

“Phaedrus is all she has.She’s lost you, the only other thing she ever really cared about, but now you want to make her son a part of your life.She knows that it gives her time with you, which she wants, but she’s worried the older Phaedrus gets, the more time he will want to spend with you and not her.That’s not something she can have happen.As for me, she wants me nowhere near her or her son…for obvious reasons.I still have no idea why she allowed that.”

“Because I wasn’t bluffing.”

“You were going to give up the opportunity to know your nephew, so that I could?” Laurent asked.“I’ve already called you an idiot tonight, but I feel it’s worth repeating.”

Damen kissed the top of Laurent’s head.“You’re my family and so is he.I will not have the two of you separate.Besides,” Damen continued, after a short hesitation, “You deserve to have a real family again, one that you can trust.”

“I wish you wouldn’t use the word ‘deserve’.”

“Why?”

Laurent slipped his head out from underneath Damen’s and laid down.Damen spread out next to him and Laurent automatically curled up against him, tapping his fingers against his chest.Spreading the sheet out over the top of them, Damen said, as casually as he could manage, “You’re only human, Laurent.”

Laurent was silent, his head turned away towards the fire.Damen leaned down and kissed the pale expanse of his neck.Then he propped himself back up on his elbow and watched Laurent.It took a long while, but eventually Laurent flipped his head back over and looked at Damen.He still uttered no words and his eyes were blank, but he did extend a hand to Damen’s face and ran his thumb across Damen’s lower lip, once, twice, three times.Finally he murmured, the words ridden with pain, “Am I?”

Damen lowered himself back to the ground so he could still look at Laurent as he talked in his ear.“Of course you are.”

“How broken can one person be before they’re no longer a person?Until they’re just fragments?”

“You are not broken.And even if you were, you wouldn’t be any less human.You’d still matter.”Laurent turned his head away.“Look at me.Please.I want to know you’ve heard me.”The blue eyes came back.“Yes, you’ve made mistakes and you’ve done terrible things to survive…so have I.Maybe we haven’t made up for them, maybe we never will, but we were surviving.Thinking, for even a second, that you don’t deserve a chance to remedy those mistakes, to gain something from them, to find a way out to a place where life is no longer about survival, but about happiness, is the real mistake.”

“Eloquent,” Laurent said.

Damen allowed the misdirection, figuring there’d been more than enough honesty for the day.“I’ve been told I’m both eloquent and charismatic.”

Laurent scoffed.“By who?”

“Nikandros, my father, Kastor, the…”

“Alright, alright,” Laurent laughed, tension easing out of his body.“You’ve made your point.”

A comfortable silence permeated the space between them, something Damen hadn’t even considered hoping for earlier in the evening.Only when they both silently decided to try and sleep did the presence of Jokaste in the room enter Damen’s thoughts once more.Flipping, his back against Laurent’s back, he watched her for a moment.Her eyes were closed, hair was spread out against the pillow, but her breaths weren’t deep.Damen knew she wasn’t sleeping, only feigning and his words traveled back to what Laurent had told him about Jokaste, about the note in the wagon. _I remember the way you looked at me, the day we met.Perhaps that, too, in another life._ This had been difficult for her and suddenly Damen understood every conversation they’d had that night in a different way.She’d never been trying to get between him and Laurent, she already knew she couldn’t have him back, she’d only been trying to get through the night in one piece and with a calm demeanor.Essentially, she’d been deflecting attention away from her and onto them, something Damen should’ve realized at once, given Laurent’s aptitude for the same behavior. 

Jokaste’s eyes opened suddenly, not a moment devoted to pretending she’d actually been sleeping.She must’ve felt Damen’s gaze. Laurent was breathing slow beside him so Damen stood and eased himself onto the edge of the bed, keeping his eyes on her the entire time.She blinked slowly as she watched him move, the expression cautiously interested.

“How are you?” he whispered, letting compassion and warmth flow into his voice and eyes.He held some back, though, worried she would lash out at him for it.

She smiled gently.“I’m fine, Damen.Really.I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“I didn’t think I would, but…I am.I thought I could hate you, but I’m not sure it’s possible and, either way, I don’t want to anymore. “

“You’ve always been so unfailingly kind,” she murmured, glancing down at her hands, which were in her lap on top of the sheets.Her eyes then flickered to Laurent’s back and she continued with, “I’m sorry if I was rude, I just…”She shook her head with a self-deprecating laugh.“You love him and he loves you and there were some moments where it was so bright between you that…”

“I have to admit, I didn’t expect you to be so candid when I walked over here.”

She laughed again.“And I didn’t expect to miss you as much as I did.Kastor was not nearly as good of company as you.”

Damen clasped one of her hands in his and said, “I just came over here to say that I don’t want to take away the bond between you and your child.I want both of you in my life, if that’s at all possible.”

“That’s more than I deserve.”

Damen shook his head, thinking back on his conversation with Laurent.He and Jokaste were really more alike than he’d ever suspected.“Consider it a gift then.”

“Very well.Good night, Damen.”

“Good night.”He rose from the bed and settled back down beside Laurent, curling his arms around his body and pulling him tight against his chest.Surprisingly, Laurent was awake.They must’ve woken him up.He was clearly on the verge of falling back asleep, but he murmured, “Everything okay?”

Damen kissed his temple.“Yes.”


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm in an alternate universe. 500 kudos??? I didn't even think that actually really happened to people. This is probably starting to sound super ridiculous and repetitive, but thank you and I love you. I'll never be able to say it often enough.  
> I can't promise what the content of this chapter will be like, but I can promise the next one will be a fluff filled delight, because our boys deserve some.  
> Thanks again to @vereandakielos for beta reading. You're like crazy intelligent and super helpful...it's amazing.  
> Please enjoy!!

Laurent stirred against him, bringing Damen to the edge of wakefulness.Only when a warm hand was resting against his cheek and soft lips were pressed to his, did he open his eyes.“Morning,” Laurent said and the first thing Damen saw was a genuine smile without mockery or shyness.

“You’re happy to see me,” Damen grumbled sleepily into the still morning air.

He expected something bitingly sarcastic in return, but Laurent simply stated, “I am.”

“Is she still asleep?”

Laurent raised himself onto his elbow to see over Damen’s body.When he lowered himself back to the floor, he nodded.“Shall we wake her?”

Damen shook his head.He thought it unlikely Jokaste had gotten much sleep last night.It would be better to leave her be.So Laurent snuggled up against Damen, chest to chest, winding his arms around his neck, and held his face back slightly so he could look into Damen’s eyes.“I decided something last night.”

“And what was that?”He was so easy to indulge.

“I don’t like fighting with you.It makes me want to drink, a feeling which I don’t approve of, especially when I only have splinters of self-control left.”There was a long pause which Laurent filled with a couple of kisses to Damen’s jaw.“Does it ever get easier?”

“What?”

“Dismantling walls?Trusting?”

“I’m not qualified to answer that,” Damen said, “I’m too trusting, remember?”Damen thought about the question nonetheless.“Do you still have to consciously dismantle your walls around me?”

Laurent disappeared into Damen’s neck, saying, “Yes.I have to remind myself daily that you’re not going to betray me, that I could tell you every convoluted plan of mine and no one besides you would ever know.It’s still not something I’m used to.”The admission crackled between them.Damen hadn’t had any idea it was still something he struggled with so often.He couldn’t even begin imagining what that was like.

“Is that why you rarely look me in the eyes when discussing something intimately personal?”

“Eyes give too much away.Even I’m not perfect at controlling them.No one is.”

“I like your eyes.”

“I’ll work on it,” Laurent murmured.“I’m working on all of it.”He removed his face from Damen’s neck when he said that, keeping his eyes very focused on Damen’s, as though making a point.

“I know.And I’m being patient.”

“Patience isn’t a strong suit of yours.” 

Damen laughed.It hadn’t been a question, but Damen answered anyway.“Not particularly.”

“Bodes well.”

“Not going anywhere, remember?”

Laurent smiled gently.Then his eyes flashed as he recalled something, “Why don’t you say such lovely words to me?”The tone was teasing and tender and Damen was wondering what he was referring to.Only when Laurent murmured something about hands and secrets did he understand and then Damen laughed loudly, remembering only after he was done that he was supposed to be quiet.He hadn’t thought his forced flirtation with Jokaste would ever become a topic of conversation between them.

“It never struck me that flattery would work on you.”

“It doesn’t…usually.”

“Would you like flattery?”

Laurent shifted, his body and gaze open, inviting Damen to give it a shot.Damen leaned in close and said “Where would you like me to start?”

Tilting his head to the side, Laurent considered, humor in his eyes, and then he pointed to them.“My best feature, I’ve been told.”

Damen laughed.“No.I’m more fond of your hair and the dip just inside your hipbone.Both are exquisite.But, your eyes, hmm…they’re so blue that they make the sky look gray; they stole all of the blue away.And your skin,” he continued, brushing his hands up and down Laurent’s arms, “reminds me of the white sands on the coast near Ios or the way the ocean looks when the sun is catching a wave.”He moved a hand to Laurent’s neck and the hammering pulse, “This spot here,” he said, bending down for a brief kiss, “holds the best sound in the world.Calming, a reminder you’re alive, a reminder that you aren’t in fact a cast-iron bitch.”

Laurent twisted his lips, holding back a laugh.“That’s distinctly less flattering.”

Damen decided to pick on his own observation from last night and teased, “You were quite good at prostration.”

“Oh, did you like that?”

“Maybe.”

Laurent eyed him, judged him to still be teasing, and relaxed.“Well, I hope you got your fill because you will never see it again.”

“Somehow, I anticipated that.”

“I’m hungry,” Laurent declared.“You could at least go and get some food and bring it up here.”

“Why can’t you go?You’re the slave, remember?”

Laurent groaned.“I don’t like being a slave.”But he stood, nonetheless, smoothing out his chiton. 

“It’s awful, isn’t it?”

Laurent waved the comment away with a hand as he opened the door.Damen smiled when he shut the door behind him as quietly as possible.It was very considerate, not something he often attributed to Laurent.

When Laurent returned, he set the plate down on the floor in front of Damen and then nestled down beside him.They ate in silence and only when they were finished—Laurent ultimately leaning up against Damen and comparing the size of their hands—did Jokaste wake up.She blinked at them and then sighed, pulling herself from the bed, and gracefully positioning herself on the floor across from them.Her long fingers picked at the food that had been left for her, and she said, with only the hint of a yawn in her voice, “This is strange.”

Damen hadn’t found it all that strange until she’d said that.Now, he was distinctly uncomfortable.Laurent didn’t appear to be, however.“It is,” he said.“I’m not often in the company of women.”

“I’m not often in the company of someone who is analyzing every move I make.”

“Habit,” Laurent said.

“You don’t trust me,” she said, amending his words for him.

“Would you trust you?”

She laughed and shook her head, as she was chewing on a piece of chicken.Extending her hand, she stretched for the pitcher of water, but couldn’t quite reach it.Damen grabbed her cup and poured the water for her.Jokaste smiled in thanks and took a sip.

“Do you think Damen trusts me?” she asked, her eyes not straying from Laurent.Damen got the distinct impression they were testing each other, but he wasn’t clear on what they were discovering.A small smile hadn’t deserted Laurent’s face since the conversation had begun, though, so he must be having fun.Clearly, there was something in having a worthy opponent who wasn’t actively trying to kill him.

“I think he’d be an idiot if he did.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“No,” Laurent said.Then, “He tends to be an idiot.”

“I’m right here,” Damen sighed.“And, no, I don’t trust you, Jokaste.I would like to, though.”

“Always the optimist,” she said.

“It’s part of his charm,” Laurent replied. 

There was a lull in the conversation after that, which Damen was grateful for.He wasn’t sure he liked this collision of seemingly different worlds.They were still smiling at each other, too, and it was only making Damen even more uncomfortable.It felt like they should be spitting at each other.

“I find it hard to believe the only thing you’re after is increased comfort and the safety of your son,” Laurent said, breaking the silence.His expression was flat and his eyes calculating.Jokaste returned the expression in kind, her face relaxed and calm, rather than emotionless.Damen found it interesting that they had different fronts they showed the world, despite pursuing the exact same goal.The mild interest wasn’t enough to quash his desire that this conversation be over.

“Telling you what I want would be too easy.”

“And it can’t be easy,” Damen said with a frown.“Can’t we have a pleasant conversation about the weather or how lovely a warm bath would be?”

Laurent broke his concentration on Jokaste to stare at Damen, his eyes laughing.“Uncomfortable?”

“All I want is to be gone from this place without leaving dead bodies behind.”

“Now there’s an idea,” Laurent said.

“You are kidding, right?” Damen asked.He wasn’t entirely sure.The look Laurent was giving Jokaste now was distinctly interested and considering, as though he were playing out her death and envisioning the ways in which it could benefit him.

“It likely would save a considerable amount of trouble, but, yes, I’m kidding.I won’t hurt someone you care about and neither will she.”

Damen stood and peered out of one of the small windows.“Looks like there are some clouds today.Nice day for travel.”

“Yes, the weather is nice, Damen.Would you sit down? Jokaste and I aren’t going to do anything.”

“Fine,” Damen grumbled, “But could we at least talk about what happens next instead of you two throwing verbal daggers?”

“Feeling left out?” Jokaste laughed.

“He definitely is,” Laurent answered.They were grinning at each other again.While they were doing so, Jokaste was taking a moment to look Laurent up and down, in a similar way to Laurent’s judgement of her.

“You’re good for him,” Jokaste murmured.Surprise flickered in Laurent’s eyes and he didn’t say anything in reply.He was speechless.So was Damen.They both stared at her until she flushed lightly and averted her eyes to her hands.That was when Laurent said, “You’d be the first to think so.”He responded just as quietly.

“Did you get enough to eat?” Damen asked, steering the conversation into safer waters. 

Jokaste nodded.Damen nodded in return, then stood, extending a hand to help Laurent up.Once Laurent was standing, he offered the same to Jokaste.Then, Damen said, “We should get back on the road, Laurent.”

“Alright.”Laurent turned to Jokaste and said, “The wagon will come for you in around two weeks.No one can know.When you arrive, Damen and I will provide answers to your questions.”

“You mean that.”

Laurent shrugged.“I’ll let him answer them.Whatever he trusts you with, I am willing to trust you with.”

Jokaste raised her eyebrows.Laurent looked over at Damen and said, “It’s something I’m trying.”

“He can have that effect,” Jokaste replied.“I will see both of you soon, then.”Jokaste extended a hand to Laurent who shook it and then awkwardly leaned in to give Damen a hug allowing him ample time to refuse it.He accepted, after a moment, unsure of what else to do or a polite way to refuse.He wasn’t even sure yet what his feelings were regarding the matter.Her hair did smell wonderful, though.Something flowery.

Laurent and Damen crossed the worn road to the room they’d bought last night.They gathered their things, readied their horses, then restarted their journey to Ios.

 

It took them another week to reach the city.Damen smiled as he saw the white stone and smelled the ocean.The sun was beating down on his back, he was sweating, and he was home.Beside him, Laurent was looking severely less pleased, contemplating the skin on his arm, which was a light red.

“You’re burning,” Damen said.

“Are you sure?” Laurent returned, sardonically, “I can’t tell.It’s not like it’s happening to me.”He dismounted from his horse and retreated into the shade of a pillar, still poking and prodding at his own skin.“I hate this country,” he grumbled.

“Don’t say that where anyone can hear you.”

“Are you laughing at my pain?”

“Oh, does it hurt?” Damen teased, strolling over and tugging a reluctant Laurent into his arms.Laurent tried to struggle free, then sighed, and relaxed in Damen’s embrace.For a second, the hug was pleasant and then Laurent bit his neck, hard, almost breaking skin.

“Not as much as your neck hurts.”

Damen brought a hand to his neck and stifled the pain with pressure.“Why do I love you?”

“My golden hair and that dip near my hipbone.”

“I actually hate you.”

“You just said you loved me.”

Damen crossed his arms over his chest and stepped back out into the sunlight.At least that was something he could smile about and, even better, Laurent would be unwilling to follow him there, which would irritate him.

A muffled sound of surprise came from behind him and Damen turned to see a young woman drop to her knees and then her stomach.“Exalted,” she said, “You’re home.”

Damen asked her to stand.“What’s your name?”

“Alexis, Exalted.”Her eyes didn’t meet his, as was correct.The cloth she was wearing was simple and her hair was heavy with grime; not typically what he was used to finding in the middle of the courtyard at the palace of Ios.

“Is there anything I can help you with, Alexis?”Damen could feel Laurent come up beside him.Apparently, he was interested enough in this conversation to withstand further burns.Alexis’s eyes flashed to Laurent and she shook her head.

“I must be on my way, Exalted.”

Damen considered stopping her, but she’d already scampered off by the time he’d come to a decision he was willing to act on.“You’re scaring my people, sweetheart.”

“I wonder what she was doing here.”

“I don’t know,” Damen sighed, “Someone will, though.Come.I have a feeling there’s much I need to attend to.”

Laurent retracted his hand from Damen’s and shook his head.His eyes were bright, when he said, “I’m going to go explore.I’ll find you when I’m done.”

“Alright.Be careful.I can’t imagine you’re popular.”

“I’m always careful.”Laurent turned and wandered out of the courtyard towards the city outside of the walls of the palace.Damen watched until he could no longer see the swash of blonde hair and hoped he wouldn’t stray too far from the marketplace.Very few in Akielos knew what Laurent looked like, but either way, it wasn’t safe enough for Damen to feel entirely comfortable.Laurent wasn’t stupid, though.If there was anything to trust, it was that.

Damen gathered his advisors as soon as he entered the palace.The woman from the courtyard was bothering him and he enquired after her immediately.It turned out Alexis had been looking for an ear and all she’d received was feigned interest.Her child was missing and no one was doing anything to help her.Damen had clearly been gone too long.

He then had to address over twenty matters of state and countless rumors his advisors were worried about.Most of them were true and most of them involved Laurent, but he managed to deflect all of them with monosyllabic answers or outright refusals to answer when that didn’t work.He only got away with it because his advisors decided he must be tired; an explanation for his poorly disguised irritation. He made sure everyone understood their places, what they were supposed to be doing, who they were supposed to report to and take orders from.He proceeded to tell off his advisors for not taking control and handling the situation and being as rampantly lazy as everyone else.It was good Nikandros had been present as long as he had, or it would’ve been much worse.

At the end of these endless conversations, seething with barely controlled anger, Damen wandered back to his room.He desperately wanted a bath, but Laurent wasn’t back yet and he’d thought they could bathe together tonight, as they both needed one.So he called for food and then slipped through the waving curtains, out onto his balcony, where the sun was setting over the ocean.The light caught the waves as they crashed against the cliffs and Damen smiled as he breathed in the salty air.He hoped one day Laurent would feel as at home here as he did, because the longer he stood here, gazing at the endless blue, the more he felt grounded.This wasn’t something he got in Arles.Damen didn’t know where the center of their combined kingdom would be, but he secretly hoped it would be by the sea.He would miss it, otherwise.Although, he supposed they could always travel back to Ios and stay during the colder months.It was not as if the palace was going anywhere.

There was a knock on the door and then a string of muffled curses.Damen thought he might even have heard flesh meeting bone.Rushing to the door, Damen opened it and saw Laurent leaning against a guard, whose face had a bruise welling on the cheek.Laurent was openly glaring at him and when he saw Damen he wrenched himself away from the guard and fell against Damen.

“This man is a bumbling idiot.Why is he a part of your guard?”

Damen ignored Laurent, who was still leaning against him heavily, and said to the guard, “What happened?”

“Exalted,” he bowed, “I saw His Highness was pale and swaying so I helped him walk to your room.The…details of what happened are unclear, but I believe he’s injured.”

“That’s the least of it,” Laurent grumbled.

Damen slung Laurent up in his arms, which was met with loud protesting and yet more harsh Veretian swearing, and Damen set him on the bed, on top of the covers, hoping whatever blood was flowing from whatever injury didn’t bleed through all of the sheets.Then he returned to the guard and said, “Fetch a physician.And thank you.I’m sorry he’s so abrasive.”

The guard lowered his head, his dark hair spilling in a curtain in front of his face and he murmured, “It’s not entirely his fault.I did make him leave his cat behind.”

“His cat.”

“It was a rather cruel beast and I wasn’t going to carry both a hissing cat and His Highness at the same time.”

Damen didn’t even want to know.“Find the cat as well.Physician first, mind you.Now go.”

“Exalted,” and he was off.

Dashing back to Laurent, Damen said, “What in the hell happened?”

Laurent’s teeth were gritted and he was sucking in air as he raised himself into a sitting position.He was only using one of his arms.The answer came in harsh breaths.“Someone may have recognized me.”

“This is not the time to be vague.”

Laurent sighed.“I need to remove the cuff, Damen.People know about it.”

“What.Happened.”

“I walked around the marketplace for a while, bought a hat…”

“With what money?” Damen interrupted.

“Do you want your story?” Laurent asked, his eyes hard and stubborn.Damen nodded, closing his eyes for a moment to settle his thoughts and his racing heart.“I stole the money from you.Anyway, I bought a hat and I put it on and I figured it was a good enough disguise—I was willing to put the odds heavily in my favor, at least—so I wandered through the city, into some of the less savory areas.I went into a tavern, sat in a back corner, kept my head down, and listened…”He started talking more to himself at this point.“The cuff is the only explanation.That’s the only way…”

“Why were you in the tavern?”

“Rumors, Damen,” he said, as though it were obvious.“I need to know what people think is happening.I know what people think in my country, but I don’t here and I don’t like that disadvantage.Point is, someone recognized me and jumped me when I exited the tavern.They only managed to stab me in the shoulder because my guard was down.It’s been a disconcerting habit of mine, recently.”

Damen shifted behind Laurent and saw blood blooming against the fabric of the chiton right over his shoulder blade.“Does it hurt?” Damen murmured, letting his fingers travel a hair’s breadth over the wound.

“A bit.It would probably hurt less if that guard hadn’t insisted on helping me.”

“Where’s the person who stabbed you?”Damen knew he must look murderous.He felt murderous.Whoever did this was a dead man and Damen was going to enjoy it.

“I don’t know.They ran once I got their knife from them.It’s hard to hold someone when only one of your arms isn’t in shooting pain.I described her in painfully accurate detail to another member of your guard, but if they are as inept as that one, you might not get to disembowel her.”

“My guard is not inept.”

“Whatever you say.”

Damen took a deep breath and the reality of what happened actually hit him.He settled back in front of Laurent and held his face in his hands.“You’re going to be alright.”

“Yes.I know.Have I reassured you?”

“Not entirely,” Damen laughed shortly.“My inept guard still has to fetch the physician before I’m relaxed.”

“It’ll be a long night, then.”Laurent closed his eyes, turning his mouth into one of Damen’s hand and kissing his palm, letting out a rush of air as he did so.Then he opened his eyes and peered around the room.“Little bland, isn’t it?”

“Simple.”

“Simple,” Laurent scoffed. 

“You should see the view.”

Laurent made to stand and Damen stopped him.“Only way you’re seeing it right now is if I carry you.”

“I can stand, Damen.My legs are fine.”Laurent used his good arm to shove Damen away and stood. 

“If you can stand, why did a guard help you here?” Damen mumbled to himself.Laurent definitely heard, but he chose to ignore the statement and wound his way to the balcony, bouncing off pillars and bed frames and walls to get there.He was likely dizzy and still in a fair amount of pain and shock.It was a miracle he’d gotten back here so quickly.As he was watching Laurent, Damen decided to thank the guard more properly later.Laurent had almost undoubtedly been difficult.

Damen heard a soft exclamation and went to Laurent’s side.He was now leaning heavily against the railing of the balcony, but his eyes were no longer hard and unreadable.They were soft.Tinges of pain crept through, but mostly, he was amazed.

“So…a cat?”

“Mmm,” Laurent replied.His eyes didn’t leave the ocean.

“When did I agree to a cat?”

“You’re going to deny me my cat?I just got stabbed.”

Damen sighed and leaned up against the railing beside Laurent, watching him gaze at the ocean, an easier course of action than asking where Laurent had even managed to find a cat.It was peaceful and Damen almost forgot about everything that was happening and just enjoyed the quiet moment.There hadn’t been enough of them recently and he was desperate for one.

A short knock and the entrance of a physician interrupted his thoughts.Before he could attempt to help Laurent to the bed, Laurent was already on his way there, the swerving and swaying of earlier gone.To an untrained eye, he was fine.

Laurent pushed down the shoulder of his chiton and waited.The physician was quick to move around to stare at Laurent’s back and prod at the edges of the wound.Laurent weathered the attention grudgingly, his mouth turned down at the corners, as though this were something he was perfectly capable of doing on his own.The physician applied a couple of salves to the wound, stitched it up, and then wrapped his shoulder.He proceeded to tell Laurent that he should refrain from any strenuous activity for a week and left.Damen sunk down onto the bed beside Laurent the moment the door closed and said, “Join me for a bath?”

“Alright.”

Damen called a guard into the room and told him to have a bath prepared.The guard bowed and left the way he came.

Damen swept his fingers through Laurent’s hair, twirling individual strands between his thumb and index finger.“Are you okay?”

“Fine.”

“No, I mean…”Damen sighed, “You must’ve been afraid.”

Laurent shook his head.“I wasn’t in any real danger.”

“Clearly…where’d you find the cat?”

“It was wandering in an alley between whorehouses, carrying a mangled rat.”

“Perfect.”

“I thought you’d be overjoyed.You’re the one who’s attracted to hopeless cases.He’s got blue eyes, too.”

“There’s no dissuading you from this, is there?”

“No.If it would help, I could convince you into it.”

“No need,” Damen sighed. 

There was yet another muffled bout of swearing from outside the door and a harsh inhuman screech.The guard who’d been sent for the physician and the cat, returned with the cat climbing up onto his shoulders, hissing and spitting.Laurent stood and instantly removed the cat from the guard’s shoulders, bringing it into his chest.The hissing didn’t cease, but the cat stopped struggling for a moment, considering it’s new captor.Amazingly, the hissing dissipated and the cat hopped out of Laurent’s arms but didn’t run out of the room through the open door.The guard did, however.

The cat began to explore.Laurent settled onto a couch to watch.Damen stayed back, keeping his distance.It was a deep grey with blue eyes and matted fur.It was ugly and mean and Damen was beginning to wish he’d protested further. 

“It needs a name,” Laurent said.

“That would mean I approve.”

“Are you going to try and argue again?”

“It’s hideous, Laurent.I don’t think it likes me, either.”

“You haven’t been within five feet of it.I like him.”

“Why?”

Laurent shrugged.“I just do.”The cat walked by him, brushing it’s tail against his legs, and Laurent bent down to pick it up.It settled on Laurent’s lap and began grooming itself, pretending Laurent wasn’t there.Brushing fingers through the fur on top of it’s head, Laurent’s small frown eased into a smile and once that happened, Damen knew his protestations were done.

“I like her,” Laurent corrected himself, when the cat jumped off his lap and onto the couch beside him.

“Chloe?” Damen said in an attempt to be accepting.

“Anais.”

“I don’t even get a say in the name?”

Laurent bent his head next to the cat’s and murmured, “What do you think?Chloe?Anais?”A pause, in which Damen started grinning.Laurent was murmuring to the cat in a voice very different from anything Damen had ever heard before.Not only was it sweet, it was almost cooing.“She definitely liked Anais better.”

“Fine,” Damen grumbled, running a hand over his face.“Let’s leave Anais to get acquainted with the room.The bath should be ready by now.”

Laurent nodded, patting Anais’s head, who tried to bite him, and then walked to the door.Damen tried to string his hand around Laurent’s waist multiple times on their walk to the bath, but his hand was shoved away each time.It was likely a large part of the Akielon court had already heard the news of the Veretian King getting stabbed in their city and now, as they passed him in the halls, they saw him walking tall, confidently, with no traces of pain.Once, Damen would’ve been unable to see through this act and judging by a couple of the faces he walked by, they definitely couldn’t.It brought a smile to his lips that only he knew the effort and force of will behind that loping walk.

Laurent slowed so Damen could catch up with him and murmured, “Stop staring at me like that.No one should stare at me like that.”

“Like what?” Damen asked, feigning innocence.

Laurent furrowed his brows and sighed.“The sooner we’re in the baths, the better.We’re going to have to work on your public image.”

“I’m not lying.”

“It’s not lying, it’s acting.”

“Same difference.”

“Not at all,” Laurent said, but dropped the topic.Damen wasn’t quite done yet, though.

“You were alright with public displays of affection in Vere.”

“This is a different environment.Different things are required of me.”

“If you’re trying to get my people to like you, this isn’t the way to do it,” Damen said.

“I’m not…not yet.I’m making them respect me.”

“Sweetheart, even if I was begging at your feet, no one would think you’re any less of a cast iron bitch.They’d think you made me do it.You’ve perfected the arrogant, untouchable look.”

As Damen finished that sentence, they strolled in through the doors of the bath.It was cleared, as Damen had instructed, and the second the doors closed behind them, Laurent brought a hand up to his shoulder and grimaced.“The water is not going to be kind.”

“Don’t submerge your shoulder then.I’ll wash you.”

Laurent smirked.“How servile of you.Don’t be presumptuous, lover.No strenuous activity for me.”

“Get in the damn bath,” Damen said, unpinning his chiton and stepping in.It was hot, almost too hot, and Damen slipped down as far as he could go, his feet touching the wall on the other side of the bath.His muscles unwound and the knot of tension in his stomach, at finding Laurent stabbed, faded.Shutting his eyes, he felt the disturbance of water rippling against his chest as Laurent got in beside him.Damen cracked one eye open to see Laurent sitting incredibly straight, the wound on his shoulder only inches from staying out of the water.

“Not in a hurry, are you?” Laurent said.

“I’m feeling remarkably less interested in helping you now.”

“Irritated?”

“It’s a talent of yours.Now please stop talking.I’m relaxing.”Damen slipped his eye closed and took a deep breath, settling in.

There was very little movement beside him and when he opened his eyes again Laurent hadn’t moved.He was staring at the water apprehensively.The only change was the red flush in his cheeks from the heat and a light sheen of sweat on his forehead.

“Just get it over with.”

“Easy for you to say.”

Damen laughed shortly and said, “Imagine there was an insufferable prince who stripped all of the skin from your back and you took a bath the next day and the water ran red.Imagine how much pain that entailed.”

Laurent was silent.

“My point is, I’m still alive.”

No words left Laurent’s mouth, but he sunk his shoulders completely into the water, all at once, before he could change his mind.He inhaled sharply between his teeth when the wound was submerged, but that was the extent of his outward discomfort.He murmured softly, the words almost trailing away in the steam, “That must have hurt.”

“Yes.”Feeling slightly less hostile, Damen gripped a bottle from the edge of the bath, unstoppered it, and poured some of the soap into his hand.It didn’t smell flowery as it would have in Vere and Damen took an extra beat to breathe it in deep.The soap smelled like it was supposed to clean and Damen found that reassuring.Leaning forward, he dipped his head underneath the water, wetting his hair.When he resurfaced, he shook the drops of water out like a dog would and Laurent grimaced as some of the water landed on him. 

Damen lathered the soap into his hair and then ducked back underneath the water when he was done.He was about to shake his head again, when he noticed Laurent glaring at him, the eyes steel, ordering him not to.Sighing, Damen slipped his fingers through his hair instead, pushing it out of his face.Then he grabbed a pitcher, filled it with water from the bath, and poured it unceremoniously and without warning, over Laurent’s head.

“Thank you,” Laurent said sardonically.

“You are welcome, love.”

“I don’t think I allowed that endearment.”

“I can be irritating, too,” Damen said.Pouring more of the soap into his hand, he began to massage Laurent’s scalp, pulling loose pieces of hair into the bubbly mess.Laurent looked as though he were about to speak something unpleasant, but instead, he closed his mouth and relaxed into Damen’s touch.Kneeling on the hard seat of the tub grew uncomfortable quickly so Damen moved to straddle Laurent’s lap, their limbs sliding over each other, smooth and slippery.He didn’t quite fit there, but it was slightly more comfortable than his previous position and infinitely more pleasant.

“Would you prefer to duck your head or receive another waterfall from the pitcher?” Damen asked, when he’d finished.

Laurent submerged his head and then flipped it back up, his hair splashing water everywhere, including Damen’s face.

In return, Damen slid his hips against Laurent’s.

“Strenuous activity,” Laurent reminded him.

“Don’t move, then,” Damen whispered, his hips now moving in a rhythm, his cock hardening.Laurent’s was responding to the attention and the water was clacking in small waves around them.Laurent attempted to move his hands to Damen’s waist, but Damen grabbed them and pinned them against the walls by Laurent’s side.

“You’ll keep them there, won’t you?”

Laurent eyed him.Then, slowly, “I need you to stop, Damen.”

Automatically going still, Damen removed himself from Laurent’s lap, standing in the bath.“I…”He wasn’t sure what to say.He had some idea what he’d done wrong, but didn’t particularly want to voice it.Instead, he slipped out of the bath, grabbing a towel, and wiped himself down, keeping his eyes focused away from Laurent, who was taking shallow breaths and collecting himself. Damen knew it was something he preferred to do alone.

Finally, “You are traditionally dominant.”

Damen took a long breath and said, “Traditionally.I’m sorry, Laurent,” he continued in a rush, “I know better than to order you around.I’ll admit, it might’ve slipped my mind, but it won’t happen again.I’ll make sure it doesn’t,” determination clear in his voice. 

“Thank you for stopping.”

“Of course,” Damen said.The silence that followed was tense and almost awkward, something that hadn’t happened in a long time.To break it, Damen said, “Your shoulder needs a week to heal, right?Let’s go to the summer palace, away from here, take a break.We deserve one.”

“I would like that,” Laurent said, pulling himself from the bath.Damen tossed him a towel, following it, until he was on the ground in front of Laurent.“Forgive me.”

“So dramatic,” Laurent said, a smile pricking his lips.Then, seriously, “You did nothing wrong.I’ll work on it.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I wouldn’t if I didn’t want to.Get off your knees, Damen, it’s ridiculous.”

Damen stood and extended a hand to Laurent, waiting until Laurent nodded before placing it on his cheek, which was still wet.“I love you,” he said, capturing Laurent’s lips in a quick kiss.“More and more each day.”

Laurent reached up to kiss him again.When he pulled away, every plane of his face was soft and open and devoted.“Can we take Anais with us to the summer palace?”


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have anything to say besides my usual I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH and THANK YOU  
> Enjoy this chapter!  
> Thanks to @vereandakielos, as is becoming usual, for the beta reading. You make all the difference.  
> <333

“This is her?” Damen asked, staring intently at a young woman with an intense fire in her eyes. They’d captured her only moments after a late dinner and Damen had come right when he’d woken this morning, despite the fact he’d been warm in bed, Laurent’s head in his lap as he asked him to stay just a moment longer.Looking at her now, Damen noticed she wasn’t scared or worried or afraid, she was simply and purely angry.Perfectly capable of mirroring her anger and even exceeding it, Damen didn’t break eye contact. 

“Yes, Exalted.She matches the description His Highness provided.She was found in an abandoned house where she had no reason to be.You can see the flecks of blood on her clothes, I’m sure.”

“Unlock the door.”

“Exalted,” the guard said and opened the cell door.Damen stepped in, arms crossed, and glared at her, trying to decide what to do.Laurent had trusted him to do this alone, to not get carried away, and Damen fully intended on maintaining that trust.There was nothing more he wanted to do than punch her until blood covered every inch of her face, but she was chained to the ground and had no weapon to defend herself with.It was not something Damen was capable of doing.

“What’s your name?” Damen asked.

She was silent.

Damen shut his eyes and took a deep breath.Laurent had said it was likely she’d been working alone, but that it was possible she was part of a larger group, a group who took offense at a Veretian in such close contact with their King.If that was the case, Damen wanted whatever information he could glean from her, but if she wouldn’t talk, there wasn’t a whole lot he could do.Laurent might have been able to tease something from her, but he wasn’t here.

Time to be straightforward.It was all he could do.“In the morning, you’re to be executed for treason.I can lessen the sentence or provide whatever you may need before tomorrow if you’re willing to answer my questions.”

“How can I trust that promise?” she said, eyes still defiantly on Damen.Damen began to realize this wasn’t only about Laurent, this was about him, too.The look in her eyes said that if it had been him instead of Laurent in that tavern, she would’ve stabbed him as well.Maybe she didn’t have all the facts, maybe she didn’t care, but he began to sense this woman had sympathized with Kastor, for whatever reason.Or, at least, she blamed both him and Laurent for the new Veretian influence in Akielos.It was the first real sign that Laurent was right.Things were going to get violent and they needed to be prepared.

“Is there anything I could do or say that would convince you?” Damen asked.

Her eyes formed slits and then she said, “Come sit in front of me so I can see your eyes.”

Damen thought the request strange, but he wasn’t going to turn it down.Perhaps it was unwise to sit so close, but there were guards right outside the door and Damen’s confidence in his strength and fighting abilities were not over-exaggerated.When he was cross-legged in front of her, he asked, “Why did you stab him?”He already knew the answer, but it was a good place to start.

“Your Veretian whore?”

Damen’s hands curled into fists.She was trying to incite him into violence and that was the only reason he resisted the temptation to backhand her across the face.Instead, he growled, “King Laurent of Vere.”

“He doesn’t belong in Akielos.His family and people are backstabbing snakes.I just returned the favor.”

“Do you know others who feel the same way?”

“You have many enemies,” she said.Damen was suddenly distinctly aware they were on a very similar eye-level.

“Anyone specific?”

She smiled wryly.“You’re not very subtle, are you?

“I’m not going to be killed in the morning.”

She shrugged and didn’t say anything.Damen hadn’t wanted to do this, to utilize one of Laurent’s more morally ambiguous tactics, but larger things were at stake.His family, his kingdom.“What do you know about Laurent?” he asked.

Her expression changed, the determination melting away, replaced by mild confusion.The change in questioning was not something she had expected.Cautiously, she said, “He’s Veretian, he’s fucking you, and very few have a clear idea what happened between him and his uncle.Most importantly, he’s fucking his brother’s killer.Who does that?”

“A cast-iron bitch,” Damen said.

Her brows furrowed, confusion growing.

“Let me be more clear,” Damen said, letting parts of the hard menace roiling in his stomach seep into his voice, “If there is anyone who can find out who you are, it’s Laurent.He can find your family, he can find the people you work for, if there are any, and he can get the information from them and I can’t guarantee they will make it out of the interaction alive.”

She spit on the ground in front of him.“I’m willing to take the risk,” she growled.“You don’t have enough to go on.”

“We know what you look like and a tavern you frequent.That’s enough.”

For a moment, Damen thought perhaps she was wavering, but then she shook her head defiantly.“I will not tell you anything more.Do what you will.”

Damen nodded, standing, and walked out of the cell without looking back, though his mind stayed with the woman, replaying the conversation, wondering if there had been a different play, a better one.The more he thought about it, the more he realized even Laurent probably couldn’t have wheedled out any more information.She’d been willing to sacrifice her own family to keep her secrets with her.There was nothing to be done with people like that.

 

Unless you were Laurent, that is.  When Damen relayed what happened, he said, “Perhaps I’ll go talk to her.”

“I thought we agreed: my subject, my problem.”

Laurent sighed.“Have you learned nothing, Damen?Everyone has a weakness.You simply need to take the time to find it.You only poked a couple of places.You didn’t even try pain.That’s usually persuasive.”

“I would prefer not to torture a woman,” Damen grimaced. 

“I’m curious…were we even going to go after her family?”

“No.Of course not.”

Laurent grinned, shaking his head.“And you wonder why she told you nothing.How would you prefer this to be done, lover?I can take care of it and keep you in the dark.I can take care of it, but keep you filled in, or…we could do it your way.”

“What’s my way?”

“Less confrontational.Make quiet inquiries.Hope we get lucky.”

“You really think there’s something larger to this.”

Laurent nodded.“There is someone out there smart enough to have guessed what we are doing.They might not suspect us to be that brazen, which is why they are still holding back, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t silently recruiting.There’s a head and, in Akielon fashion, I’d prefer to remove it before we’re up against more than we can handle.This girl won’t know the head, but maybe, hopefully, there’s a trail that leads back to him or her.”

“You’re actually worried,” Damen murmured.Despite everything, he’d never thought it this serious.

“I did get stabbed.”Damen stood there helplessly.He knew his face was easier to read than a book and that he was terrified.He hadn’t imagined everything he’d fought so hard for was seriously at risk.It was easy to forget that Laurent wasn’t invincible, that a lot of the fights he won were closer than they seemed.

“Do whatever you need to do,” Damen said.“I can’t lose this.”

“You’re not going to.I won’t let that happen.”Laurent said it with his normal, cool arrogance and even though Damen was relatively sure it was an act, it was still incredibly reassuring. 

A flash of bare wrist caught Damen’s attention and he pulled Laurent’s hand up so he could see it.“I see you’ve removed the cuff,” he murmured.Damen had never realized how used to the glint of gold he was, but now that it was gone, there was a none too gentle tug on his heart.It looked wrong.That much he knew for sure.

A whisper of a touch along his jawline.Damen met Laurent’s gaze.“I had to, Damen.You should really have yours removed, too.”

Damen unconsciously clasped his hand around the cuff, hiding it from view.He was shaking his head, as well, and Laurent’s eyes grew fond as he started convulsing with laughter.“Who would’ve guessed you’d grow so attached to the symbol of your enslavement?”

“You know that’s not what it is,” Damen grumbled.

Laurent paused, tilting his head, and considered Damen.“I’ll still love you, even when it’s not on your wrist.”

“I know.”

“Don’t you think your protests are a bit ludicrous then?”

Damen said nothing in response.Laurent slipped a hand around Damen’s neck and moved in closer.Amazingly, his eyes didn’t leave Damen’s as he said, “You are everything I have and that isn’t going to change.I’m done having nothing.”

“That’s not the point.”

Laurent kissed Damen softly.“I know, you stubborn buffoon.I’ve had the blacksmith save the pieces and forge two gold bands from them.”

The words took a moment to have an effect.Laurent flushed hard as Damen started grinning.Sweeping Laurent up into a hug, he spun them around the room.Damen smiled even harder, when he watched Laurent school his face into an expression of grudging allowance.The way he clung to Damen, however, spoke to something else entirely.

“You are distastefully pathetic,” Laurent said into his ear.They’d stopped spinning, but Damen hadn’t dropped Laurent back to the ground.

“You’re making us rings.”He couldn’t have removed the delight from his voice even if he’d tried.

“We are getting married.It seemed logical.”

Damen rolled his eyes.“Logical.Be distastefully pathetic with me for a moment, would you?”

“Mmm…no.Put me back down on the floor.”

“Not until you drop all those walls and let go of a piece of that considerable dignity.There’s no room for all of it in this relationship.”

“I happen to like my dignity about as much as I like you.”

Damen shrugged.“Then I can carry you everywhere.I promise you, I can do this all day.I can’t imagine what people would say…but I imagine they’d find it undignified.”

Laurent grimaced.“Auguste used to spin me like that,” he said, launching into talk.There was always a point to it, Damen knew that, but he couldn’t imagine where this was going.“Whenever I asked.There was a whole year, when I was around six, where I asked for him to do it almost every day.He’d spin and spin until he was too dizzy to carry on and then we’d slump onto the floor, laughing.I haven’t been spun like that since he died.”

“Fascinating.”

“Would you…would you do it again?I don’t think I properly enjoyed it.”

“That’s because you were being dignified.”

“I suggest you stop needling me or I’ll bite you somewhere it will hurt.”

Chortling, Damen said, “Is that actually something you want or are you just feigning a lack of control?”

Laurent took a deep breath, crooked his head into Damen’s neck, kissing it gently, before murmuring, “Very soon, I’m going to pull my face from your neck, look you in the eye, and you are going to spin me because we’re distastefully, pathetically in love and I was woefully thoughtful enough to make us rings because we’re getting married and despite my stony veneer…there is little that could make me happier.I will now remind you that if you ever bring any of this up again, I will kill you.Gladly.In fact, I’m not sure you’ve escaped that fate either way.”

Damen grinned and waited until he saw the blue of Laurent’s eyes and then he was spinning.He started slow, carrying them across the room.Laurent was holding his breath, but when he let it go in a whoosh, a boyish joy entered his eyes and he was smiling softly.He kicked Damen’s shin and said, “Faster.”

Damen could do nothing but oblige.Already, he was on the verge of dizziness, but there was no way he was stopping until he absolutely had to.Laurent’s legs were hanging down, his arms were hard around Damen’s neck and he was laughing.Not loudly, but Damen could feel the rumblings of it against his chest.

Finally, it got to be too much, and Damen propelled them onto the bed, making sure Laurent landed on top of his body, so Damen didn’t flatten him.They were both breathless and Damen couldn’t keep his eyes open, the tilting world making him nauseous.

“There is nothing in this world I want more than you, Damen.You have to know that.”

“I do.But, sometimes, it’s nice to hear.”

“I never pinned you as the needy type.”

“Don’t get all prickly now.”

“I can only hold my dignity at bay for so long.”

“And I wouldn’t want it any other way,” Damen smiled, helplessly charmed.Laurent’s hair was tickling his face, his blue eyes were bright, and he could feel every inch of Laurent’s length pressed tightly to his body.It was terrifying to think about all the things he would do for this, to keep it.How far he would go.It was even more terrifying to think about what Laurent would do.They could end up burning down the entire world just to save each other.

Laurent sat up, straddling Damen, but bent over so that their noses were almost brushing.“You go get the blacksmith to take that off and I’m going to go torture a woman.”

“That’s a mood killer,” Damen sighed.“Can’t that wait until we get back from the summer palace?”

“That would be unwise.”Laurent stood.Then he frowned.“In fact, I’m not sure we should go to the summer palace.A week away from…”

Standing in a rush, Damen planted a hand over Laurent’s mouth.Laurent curled his hand around Damen’s wrist and dug his fingernails in.

“Sorry,” Damen murmured, removing his hand.“But, we are going.Period.You must learn how to relax and stop thinking.It’s good for you.”

Laurent smiled.“You’d have to never stop kissing me, I’m afraid.”

“I could do that.”

Laurent snorted and wove away from Damen’s reach.“I’m going.Blacksmith.”A pause.“And make sure you’re ready to go by the time I get back.”

“Thank you.”

“And don’t forget Anais.”

“Do we have to bring the cat?”

“Anais,” Laurent said.“And yes.Consider it payment for overcomplicating my life.”

 

Damen did as he was told.  The cuff was removed—the pieces left with the blacksmith—and servants were running around the room packing.  Anais had appeared from underneath some piece of furniture, and was now licking her paw and watching the proceedings with lazy eyes.  Damen purposefully dropped the book he was holding on the ground, just so she would jump.

He didn’t personally deal with Anais.She still set Damen on edge and the feeling seemed to be mutual.Instead, Damen left the preparations for her travel to a wary servant who, when finally finished finding foods Anais was happy to eat and an easy way to travel with her, left the room with dozens of bleeding scratches and a worn face.Damen almost felt bad, but the pleasure derived from the fact that it wasn’t him sporting those scratches outweighed his sympathy.

He met with his advisors briefly, simply to tell them where he was going, what was to be done while he was gone, and what they should do if there was an emergency of any kind.It wasn’t as if he would be all that far away, but they needed to be aware of what information they could disturb him with and what they should leave until he got back.He also made sure to explain to the only one of his advisors he absolutely trusted—a man who’d served his father faithfully before him and who’d warned him about Kastor in a similar way to Nikandros—that he should keep an eye out for a wagon and that if it arrived before he came home, the contents were to be dealt with silently and quickly.He also outlined explicitly what would happen if no one in the city had found Alexis’ missing child by the time he’d returned.At this rate, he was going to have to do it himself.

Once that was done, he returned to the room, went out onto the balcony and watched the waves crash against the cliffs.

Later, the door opened behind him and Laurent came in, every hair in place, his face an impassive mask.

“That took a while,” Damen said, not moving from the balcony, hoping Laurent would come join him.He did, after a moment, leaning against the railing.His shoulders were tense and when they didn’t ease once he saw the ocean, Damen knew he was mentally exhausted.Moving behind Laurent, he grasped his shoulders and drew his thumbs hard across muscles, searching to unknot them.Laurent leaned his head back onto Damen’s shoulder and sighed. 

“We should leave,” he said.“I don’t want to travel at night.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Anything I should know?”

Damen managed to unwind a series of muscle in Laurent’s back and he sighed again, almost a moan, as he leaned back into Damen more forcefully.“Probably.Later.I need to think.”

Damen leaned in and kissed Laurent’s neck.“Let’s go, then.”

 

The sun was still a long way from setting by the time they were on the road.  The palace was barely an hour’s ride from the main castle, but they had a small retinue with them nonetheless, mostly to carry and watch over Anais, who already had a long string of enemies.

When they arrived, it was clear the palace was already fully staffed, servants lined up in the courtyard as Damen and Laurent cantered in.Right away, they set to work caring for the horses, moving bags to rooms, and asking when food should be prepared.Once that was handled, it was clear that Damen and Laurent had nothing to do, no pressing matters.It had Laurent on edge, but Damen was looking forward to this time unwind and focus on nothing besides Laurent.

Before they walked inside the palace, Damen turned to Laurent and grabbed him by the shoulders.“I need you to promise me something.”

“What?”His eyes were wary.

“No talk of anything important.This week is for us and nothing else.”

“You know very well I can’t promise that.”

Damen sighed, “Promise you’ll try, then.”

Laurent glanced behind him, towards Ios, then sighed.He wrapped his hand inside Damen’s and smiled on an exhalation of breath.“For you, I’ll try.Give me a tour?”

“Of course,” Damen smiled.

It was as beautiful as Damen remembered.It had been a while since he’d been here.According to Kastor, it had been the queen’s favorite place and when she died giving birth to Damen, their father had shown little interest in returning.He’d managed to bring Kastor and Damen a couple of times over the years, however, and when they were older, they would go alone, often with Nikandros as well, and race horses during the day and get drunk at night.

He was seeing it through new eyes this time, though.Certain things would catch Laurent’s eye and they would stop and stare for a while, Damen watching Laurent. 

The rooms were open, sunlight spilling into every crevice, reflecting off the marble.Statues littered the more open halls, curtains fluttered into their path, and the smell of orange blossoms followed them.Damen showed Laurent the racing tracks, the outdoor baths, the gardens with small bridges and pools of water scattered throughout them, which direction to look if you wanted to see Isthima, and where they would be sleeping, as lavish a room as you would see in Akielos.They had dinner that night out on the large balcony of their bedroom, Laurent leaning back in his chair and watching the ocean. 

Once the sun set, it grew cold.The wind blew in from the ocean, so the summer palace was never hot.They traveled inside and Laurent was poking at his skin.“I’m going to die here,” he said.

“Burned again?”

“Completely.I’m going to have to wear Veretian clothing, I think.These chitons simply don’t cover enough.”

“You still look beautiful to me.”

Laurent rolled his eyes.“Tell me that when my skin is peeling.”

There was a knock on the door.“Come in,” Damen said.

“Exalted,” a servant bowed, “There’s to be a storm.Would you like us to close up the windows and doors?”

Damen strode to the balcony and looked at the dark purple clouds crowding on the horizon.They hadn’t been there moments ago.He’d forgotten how quickly weather could change here.“No,” Damen said.“Leave them open.”

“You mean it rains in this wretched country?” Laurent said.

“Sometimes.Never casually.”

Laurent came to stand beside him.“You mean thunder and lightning, don’t you?I’ve only seen one such storm in my life and I hardly remember it.All I really remember was crawling into Auguste’s bed and hiding my face in his shoulder.”

“You were scared?” Damen laughed.Laurent being scared of anything was humorous because of its rarity.

“I was seven,” he said shortly.

“Well my shoulder is available,” Damen said, still laughing.Laurent slapped his stomach. 

“Come to bed,” he said, over his shoulder.

Damen shrugged, not concerned with the early hour (they had all the time in the world) and unpinned his chiton before crawling underneath the covers.The moment his back hit the sheets, Laurent was curled up against his side, twirling curls by Damen’s temple around his fingers.Anais, who Damen hadn’t even known was in the room, hopped up onto the bed and settled down by their feet.“So,” Laurent said, “What do people talk about if they’re not allowed to talk about anything important?”

“There’s always the option of not talking.”Damen bent his head down, nestled it between his shoulder and Laurent’s head and bit the top of Laurent’s ear.“We could make love.”

Laurent laughed.“We could.I’d prefer to talk.”

“Alright, tell me three things I don’t know about you.”

“You first.”

Damen glanced at Laurent, whose eyes were firmly on Damen’s chest and what his fingers were doing with the hair there.There was a long, comfortable silence as Damen brainstormed a response to that.It was likely Laurent was doing the same, which was why he’d asked Damen to go first.Everything was thoughtfully considered with him.

“I was thirteen when I got drunk for the first time and it was a disaster.It was my birthday and nobody would tell me no and by the end of the night, in the early hours of the morning, actually, Nikandros was sitting beside me and patting my back, while Kastor laughed and laughed.He was literally rolling around on the floor, clutching his stomach.Second, I don’t like seafood and third, Jokaste tried to teach me how to play the harp, but I was terrible at it.My fingers were too big and they wouldn’t listen to my brain.”

“I can play the harp,” Laurent said, quietly.“I’m actually quite good at it.There were some lessons I received that Auguste didn’t, since I had slightly more time in my day.”There was a long pause.“My mother taught me.”

“You don’t talk about her much.”

“No.She…she’d been dying my entire life.She rarely had the energy to leave bed most days, but she was beautiful, soft, and she loved me and I loved her.It’s…hard to talk about her.All of my memories of her are tinged with death.”

“She gave you more time than your father.”

Laurent nodded.“I used to write.Stories, poetry, anything I was capable of putting into words on paper.I would read everything I wrote to Auguste.When he died, I stopped.And…hmm…I quite like pastries.When I was much younger, every member of my family expended considerable effort to keep me away from them.I would’ve eaten them all day otherwise, I’m sure.”

“You should play the harp for me sometime.”

“I could,” Laurent said.It was all he said.There was crack of thunder.Anais was under the bed in a flash.Laurent started against his body and then said, carefully, “That was louder than I expected.” 

“It takes some getting used to,” Damen allowed.

Then the rain started.Wind was whipping the curtains around violently and mist crept into the room, small drops of moisture gathered from the rain slapping against the balcony.Damen could feel it against his skin.A flash of light lit up the sky and more thunder followed a breath later.

“You like it, don’t you?” Laurent said.

“I do.It’s good to be reminded how powerful nature is.It’s humbling.”

“Of course that’s why,” Laurent said, laughing.

They listened to the storm for a while.For most of that time, the storm was directly over their heads, the peals of thunder shaking their bed.Laurent didn’t look afraid, but he didn’t remove himself from Damen’s body.When it finally traveled away from them, Laurent got out of bed and called for a servant to bring him a harp.Damen didn’t say anything, but he was pleasantly surprised.It wasn’t something he’d ever imagined Laurent would actually allow him to see.

Laurent sat, in his familiar sprawl, on a couch beside the open doors of the balcony and waited, his face stone.Damen let him.

The harp arrived, born by three slaves, who set it down before Laurent.Grabbing a chair from a table, he settled down in front of the harp and pondered it for a moment, running his fingers up and down the strings, getting used to them.Just when Damen thought he might not play after all, he curved his neck, closed his eyes, and his hands flew across the strings.The song he played wasn’t fast, but it had a lot of notes.It wasn’t something Damen was familiar with, but it was beautiful and Damen smiled as he listened.Really, most of his attention was devoted to Laurent.There was something about watching someone play an instrument.His entire body was inclined towards it, his light hair falling around his eyes, the angles of his body rounded, the thin light of the candles flickering behind his large white shirt, and his face was still, but not in the usual way.It was still in the way it was when he was sleeping.A flurried string of notes met Damen’s ears and at the end of them, Laurent began to sing, faintly, in Veretian.It was some sort of lullaby. 

It wasn’t perfect.He fumbled more than a couple of times, but he carried on like nothing had happened.Only when he was done did he swear.He picked Anais up from the floor, who’d crawled out from under the bed, probably interested in the new noise, and brought her back to the bed.She was struggling fiercely by the time Laurent flung her down, but she hadn’t bitten or scratched him.It was progress.Laurent rolled his shoulder under a hand for a moment, before kneeling down on the bed.

“Now you’ve seen me play the harp,” he declared, returning to his former position.Damen hugged him close, still smiling.

“Is your shoulder alright?”

“It’s fine.”Damen let silence reign and Laurent amended, “A bit sore.”

“At this rate, you’re going to have more scars than I do.”

“Let’s hope not.I don’t actually enjoy being stabbed.”

“You should work on that noxious personality of yours, then,” Damen said.

“I thought you liked my personality,” Laurent said, feigning hurt and shock.

“I still think about strangling you on a semi-regular basis.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“I knew you would.”Damen rolled over on top of Laurent and kissed him soundly.“Can we fuck now?”

Laurent laughed loudly, clinging to Damen’s shoulders.“You are insatiable.”A pause, “Only if you tell me how good I am at the harp.”

“Did I not, already?You were amazing.People should write songs for the harp about you playing the harp.There should be…”

Laurent rolled them over so he was on top and kissed Damen into silence.

 

The remainder of their week was spent in a similar manner.  Days and nights bled together as they ate at strange times, slept whenever they were tired, made love wherever and whenever they wished, talked of nothing as the sun rose, and rode horses every minute in between.  Damen took Laurent down to a small stretch of beach that required some careful climbing down a pile of loose rocks and they’d spent most of that day in the water or sprawled out on the sand, the grains causing almost painful friction against their skin, not that they particularly cared.

Not once did Laurent address any of the various problems awaiting them back at Ios.Early in the week, Damen could tell there were moments of struggle, but as the week went on, Laurent was able to let go.It was perfect and entirely unreal.Damen was convinced by the end that it had been a dream.That is, until the final day, when a guard came and informed them a small group of Akielons were outside the palace and trying to get in. 

“They’ve been shouting things, too, Exalted.We can keep them at bay, gather them together and take them back to Ios, but we thought you should know.”

“What exactly were they shouting?” Damen asked.

The guard’s eyes flickered to Laurent.“Nothing I would repeat in your company, Exalted, but none of the words were kind and most were about His Highness.”

Anger flared in Damen’s stomach.“Let them stay,” he said, the flatness in his voice alerting Laurent to how he was feeling.Laurent ceased eating, dismissed the guard, and grabbed Damen by the arm.

“Whatever you are thinking of doing, it’s a terrible idea.”

“I’m tired of this.I’m tired of my people disrespecting you—disrespecting me—because they can’t see past their own prejudices.I’m going out there and I’m going to talk to them until they understand what you mean to me and all of the ways in which they are wrong about you.”

“Damen,” Laurent said, moving his hands to Damen’s face and keeping it focused on him, “Someday they will understand that.There will come a time, soon, where we will be prepared to handle the repercussions of telling them the truth, but it’s not today.”

“When will that be, Laurent?When?”

“I don’t know,” he said, “I don’t know, alright?Soon.”

“Once someone’s actually managed to kill you, I suppose.”

Laurent inhaled sharply and said, “I need you to trust me.Perhaps things are not as in control as I’ve been pretending, but they are still firmly enough under my control that I can predict outcomes and change factors.I can do this.”

“What if I can’t?”

Laurent’s intensity faded and he dropped his hands to Damen’s chest.“Listen,” he whispered, “I know how much you love me.I know.And I know how much I love you.The rest will follow.It will.Please, Damen.”

“Fine,” Damen grumbled.“Let’s leave before I change my mind.”

“Yes.Let’s.”Laurent led the way from the room and towards the courtyard, where their horses were ready to ride.Before he mounted his horse, Laurent pulled a guard to the side and ordered him to gather the protestors and keep them out of Damen’s sight.Then they were riding out and back to Ios.

What Damen hadn’t anticipated was yet more of his people making the walk to the summer palace to confront him and Laurent.They shouted and made obscene gestures as he and Laurent rode by and Damen was only able to ignore them because Laurent would shoot him a cool glance, the one that had the ability to halt him in his steps.

They were now halfway home, having just passed another small group of people.If they’d been walking, they would have had almost fifty people trailing after them.Luckily, they had horses and were able to keep far ahead of everyone they passed.Laurent’s face was calm as water, but his shoulders were tense and he kept shooting looks at Damen, whose hands were in fists around his reins. 

Damen saw another group on the horizon and he muttered curses under his breath.“Laurent?” he finally said, “Talk to me.”

Without hesitation, Laurent launched into a story about Auguste.When it didn’t last long enough, he said, “Do you know when I started to fall in love with you?”

It had the effect Laurent obviously desired.Damen’s face spun away from the group of people who were growing ever closer and said, “What?”He knew shock was written all over his face.It was not a collection of words he’d ever expected to hear from Laurent’s mouth.Which, Damen realized, was the point.

“I would remind you that I still hated the idea of you and I definitely hated myself, but, there was a moment, when we were in that tiny tent in the mountains and I was putting ice on a wound you received for reacting so strongly to the idea of someone raping me, where I realized I was going to have to start being very careful around you.”

Damen snorted against his will, the last bit striking him as funny. 

“What about you?” Laurent asked, his eyes leaving Damen’s briefly, to judge where they were in relation to the protestors.

“The night in Nesson.In the alley, after the chase across the rooftops.”

Laurent smiled, the attention now genuine.“So fast?My, lover, who knew your attentions could be had so quickly?If I’d known, I might’ve been nicer earlier and used that against you.”

“No, you wouldn’t have.You were having too much fun trying to kill me.”

“True.”

When Damen looked around him, he was surprised to see the protestors were a couple of feet behind them.He shut his eyes, trying to drown out their shouting, and knew he was going to make it, it was going to be okay, until there was a harsh intake of breath beside him.When he looked over, he noticed a tear in Laurent’s pants, blood lightly flowing from the wound, and a large rock lying on the ground a ways back.All Damen heard was the blood pumping through his veins and he was off his horse before he’d even truly understood what happened.

His subjects stopped yelling when they saw him approaching.They even looked scared.Damen found this very satisfying and said, calmly, his voice gravelly, “Who threw the rock?Speak.I can have all of you executed.”

Laurent was beside him, now.He could feel that, but he didn’t spare him a glance.A younger boy raised his hand.His mother, who had brought him along, was pale faced and she dropped to her knees, clasping her hands together, and pleaded for her son’s life.“Please, Exalted,” she cried, “He doesn’t even know what this is about.He just…”

Damen raised a hand, cutting her explanation off.He gazed at the boy, considering, and then said, “I won’t have him executed.”There was a cry of relief.“However, tell everyone who’s walking behind you and anyone else who may be thinking and doing the same things, that I am fine with you voicing your complaints.Please, come to the palace at Ios and I will listen.I will answer any of your questions to the best of my ability, but I will not stand for violence.You are not to hurt Laurent or myself.Anyone who does so will be executed.Is that clear?”

They all nodded.Damen was about to turn around and climb back onto his horse, when a soft voice said, “What happened to you in Vere, Exalted?What has he done to you?”

Laurent was pulling on his arm.Damen shrugged him off.“I was given as a pleasure slave to Prince Laurent of Vere.I spent months loathing him, not understanding what he was fighting for, what he was fighting against, and then I came to realize he was fair and true and intelligent and brave and that I loved him.Nothing is contrived, nothing has been manipulated.What have I ever done to betray the people’s trust?I am Damianos of Akielos.I am my father’s son.Trust me as you once did and believe me when I say that you are all wrong about Vere and about him and I’m going to prove it to you.”

There was a long silence.Then, “How are you going to do that?”

“The only way I know how.Honestly.I’m going to marry him.”


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are really picking up nowww...I'm not saying wedding next chapter, but like maybe wedding next chapter. I'm literally having so much fun right now.  
> Anywayssss...thank you guys, so much, as always. You are literally changing my life. That's the best way I can describe it.  
> Thanks to the indomitable and lovely @vereandakielos and to a new (and equally lovely) beta reader @geekdomgalor  
> I literally don't know what I did to deserve either of you.  
> <333

The remainder of the ride back to Ios was silent.Damen didn’t mind.He was still fuming, mostly at the blood staining Laurent’s pants, but also at himself.From Laurent’s silence, he knew he was in trouble, and that he’d made a very grave mistake, but it was one he couldn’t bring himself to regret.The combination of making a mistake, angering Laurent, but not feeling at all guilty over what he’d done left Damen irritated and hot.He hadn’t even apologized yet.When those words had left his mouth, Laurent had tugged him away, ordering him onto his horse and that had been that.

Only now, as they walked back to their room, did Damen consider breaking the silence.Laurent was peeling off his riding gloves, his face impassive, his gait long.Though it seemed unhurried, Damen knew Laurent was trying to escape the public eye and fast.

Then everything got worse.Laurent walked into the room first and swore loudly.Damen hurried in behind him and saw Jokaste lounging on the bed, breast-feeding a small bundle.He couldn’t see the child underneath the swathes of cloth, but Damen felt an instinctual tug to look into the eyes of his nephew.He resisted, standing by Laurent, and waited for this to play out.

Laurent’s eyes were closed.When he opened them, he said, shortly, “I need to be alone.I need her gone.I need both of you gone.Find something to do.”

It hurt, but Damen understood.He hadn’t expected anything less.Walking over to Jokaste, he offered her a hand, which she accepted, still cradling her child against her chest with the other.Damen led them from the room without another word, glancing back to see Laurent standing alone in the middle of the room, the dark blue of his clothing harsh against the tense lines of his body.

Damen led them out into one of the open-air hallways of Ios and found a bench.Jokaste settled down happily, jiggling Phaedrus and cooing at him gently.Hundreds of thoughts coursed through Damen’s mind, but when he heard Phaedrus gurgle back at his mother, there was nothing he could do about the smile that spread over his face.

“Can I see him?” Damen asked.

Jokaste smiled.“You’re not going to break him, are you?”

“Never.”

She handed Phaedrus to him, letting one of her hands linger as long as possible on his head, until she was sure Damen supported it properly.

His skin was slightly lighter than Damen’s, but his eyes were the same color brown.Damen brought one finger to his hand, the tiny fingers unable to curl around even one, but it wasn’t for lack of trying.The grip was tighter than Damen expected and his smile widened the longer he stared at the sleepy face in front of him.His heart thumped against his chest and he could feel every piece of it reaching, straining for the child.

“You created this,” Damen said, wonder in his voice.

“I know,” she said, softly, “The best thing I’ve ever done.He’s beautiful, isn’t he?”

Damen nodded, the motion stunted by his continued awe.

“Do you wish he was yours?”

“No sense in wishing,” he said.“This is how it is.I thought you were meant to be in hiding?”

“I don’t think Laurent would’ve let you bring me out here if that was the case,” Jokaste said.“Something changed.”

“You haven’t heard?”

Jokaste shook her head.“That old crotchety advisor of yours brought me to your room.He said it was the safest place for me, as you were gone and no one was likely to wander in.I didn’t purposefully end up there.”

“Oh.”

“You did something idiotic, I take it.”

“How did you guess?” Damen grumbled, bringing his head down to rest in his hands.The future was beginning to look less bright the more he considered what he’d done.When he looked back up at Jokaste, Phaedrus caught the edges of his attention, and the small thread of happiness he held grew.It was hard to look at something so new and innocent and think anything was wrong with the world.

“You’re being maudlin.Laurent didn’t seem all too pleased with you, either.”

“Observant of you.”He didn’t wish to talk about it and quickly changed the subject.“How was your journey?” he asked.

“Uneventful.You owe Lord Alexius a handsome sum of money.Though I suppose, your interest in being discreet is no longer an issue.He’ll be disappointed.”

Damen knew she was prodding him for answers.“I don’t want to talk about it,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair.“Are you going to be okay?I think I might like to go practice with a sword for a while.Or maybe all night.I’m not sure I’ll be allowed back in my room before morning.”

“I’ll come with you,” she said.“I’ve always enjoyed watching you fight.”Damen was about to explain that he wanted to be alone, when she lifted a hand in the air between them and said, “I won’t say a word.It will be like I’m not even there.”

Nodding slowly, Damen watched Jokaste.She was busy collecting her skirts and placing Phaedrus in the crook of her arm.Her face was as composed as always, even though she hadn’t gotten the answers she was looking for.“I will answer your questions,” he murmured.

“I know, Damen.You’ve never broken a promise to me.”

“I have questions for you, too.”

Jokaste pondered him.“Of course.You don’t have to talk to me, Damen.I’m not here.”At those words, Phaedrus started crying.Not loudly, but it was audible and Damen found himself chuckling as Jokaste shushed him and offered her breast once more.He turned away and walked to the training area inside the king’s section of the palace.There was no one here he normally trained with, as Makedon and Nikandros and Kastor were gone, but he grabbed three guards on the way, hoping that would be enough to distract him.

It was.They were all adequate fighters and Damen was pleased to find there was almost always a sword flying towards a section of his body.He moved quickly and instinctively, blocking and attacking.They kept it up for hours.The sun was setting by the time Damen let them leave and they thanked him profusely for the practice, complimenting his skill and stamina.Damen was tired, but he could’ve gone for another two hours.Anything to avoid Laurent a little longer, to distract him from the mistake he’d made.

“Excellent form, as usual,” Jokaste said, as he approached her.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

“I can be.”

“Good,” Damen said, throwing the sword down on the floor of the arena.Somebody would pick it up.Normally, he would clean it and put it away himself, but he wasn’t in the mood.His father would not have approved.“Come.”

They walked together through the palace to a small set of gardens that were humming with the sounds of birds and rustling leaves.Damen commanded one of the guards nearby to bring food and they sat at a table, Jokaste leaning her head back, eyes closed, enjoying the sun.

“Was the trip hard on him?” Damen asked.

“I don’t know,” Jokaste murmured, peering down at his face.“He seems alright.I don’t really know what I’m doing, though.He’s still so young.”She bent down and kissed her son’s forehead, trailing a finger down his cheek, smiling lightly.

“It’s good to see you happy.”

The food arrived and Damen picked at it listlessly, not actually all that hungry.Jokaste watched him and then sighed.“You’re going to have to talk to him eventually.What’s the worst that could happen?”

Damen shrugged.

“Seems to me,” Jokaste said, “That having been his slave and being the man who killed his brother, you’ve already experienced the worst Laurent can deal out.”

“He’s more than capable of thinking up new punishments.”

Jokaste smiled again.She leaned over the table and captured Damen’s eyes with hers.“You are being dramatic, Damianos.It would be heartbreaking if it wasn’t so adorable.”

“I take offense at being called adorable,” he growled.He realized he didn’t know where this conversation was heading or why they were having it and there had to be a reason.That much he’d learned by now.“What do you want Jokaste?Why are you here?”

“I want to be your friend.”

Damen stared at her skeptically.

“I do.I hate seeing you so upset, especially when it can be easily rectified.”Damen didn’t stop staring.“You don’t mean right now,” Jokaste finished.

“No.”

“I want a lot of things, Damen.”

“Great.Start at the beginning.”

“I’m afraid if you want honesty, it’s going to have to go both ways.I’ll tell you one thing I want if you answer one of my questions.”

“Fine.”If he trusted her with the wrong information, it was just another thing Laurent could secretly despise him for.There was really no harm in it anymore.“You go first.”

“You’re combining Vere and Akielos, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Damen sighed.

Jokaste laughed.“I didn’t actually…you two are hopeless.Damen, I’m telling you now, this moping is entirely pointless.You could accidentally burn down all of Vere and Laurent would still do anything for you.”

“Why are you…”

“Combining Vere and Akielos,” Jokaste interrupted, “Is risky, unpredictable, unwise, and must be working against every one of Laurent’s instincts.The fact that he agreed to it in the first place speaks volumes as to how he feels about you.”

“I don’t want your opinion,” Damen said.

“Very well.I want Phaedrus to be the heir to your throne.Are there other contenders?”

“For heir?”

Jokaste nodded.

This was the kind of question Laurent would warn him not to answer.It would set Jokaste on edge, make her a threat, give them another cause for worry, and Damen didn’t trust her not to do those things.The one thing he could trust was that Jokaste would do whatever it took to make sure her son ended up on the throne.However, he thought if he explained the situation honestly, they could come to a compromise.He didn’t think she was lying when she said she wanted to be his friend.Besides, this skeptical frame of mind, the one Jokaste and Laurent lived with, was entirely exhausting and Damen disliked it.

“Perhaps,” Damen answered.“We’re not sure.Laurent would prefer our heir to be my direct descendent and it’s possible I have a child among the Vaskian mountain tribes.It’s safe to say it’s an option that will be explored.If nothing else, I could have a child and I’d very much like to know them.”

Jokaste nodded thoughtfully, biting into a strawberry.

“Before you start plotting against us, I have very little interest in who sits on the throne after me.I know I will love Phaedrus.I already do, I think.Laurent may feel differently, but all I want is to know my child.Please don’t give Laurent a reason to distrust you before we’ve talked about it.”

She smiled.“This world needs more people like you, Damen.”A long pause.“I want to remarry.Returning to court seemed a good place to start.”

“Why do you want that?”

“That’s not a part of the game,” Jokaste smiled.“What did you do?”

“I may have revealed our plan earlier than Laurent wanted.To commoners.It’s going to be all over the capital in a matter of hours, than the country in a couple of weeks.”

Jokaste laughed, but cut it short when Damen glared at her.“That is…serious.Why did you do that?”

“Not part of the game,” he shot back.

“I want Laurent to like me.”

That concept shocked Damen.So much so, he wasn’t sure he believed her.There was no reason she would lie, and yet it was so far outside the realm of what he’d deemed possible, he had to ask, “What?”

She shrugged.“It’s a recent development. You should go, Damen.He’s been alone long enough.I think I’m going to go lie down.”

Damen sighed and stood.He strolled over and stared at Phaedrus.After a moment, he bopped him on the nose with the tip of his finger and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow, love.”Phaedrus blinked and then gave a wobbly smile.

“Thank you, Damen,” Jokaste murmured.

“For what?”

“Accepting him.” They both stared at the sleeping child for a moment before Damen left, and, for the first time that evening, he thought perhaps everything was going to be okay.

 

Damen stood outside the door to his own bedroom, his fist suspended in midair.  He was trying to decide whether he should knock, just walk in, or turn around and sleep somewhere else; let Laurent have even longer to digest the sudden change in the political landscape.

He was being ridiculous.This was Laurent and him.It was by no means perfect, but it was real and Damen had faced worse.He’d barged in and argued with Laurent after Aimeric had killed himself; he’d even managed to face Laurent after he’d eviscerated him in every possible way in the tent at Fortaine.He could do this.But this time, he was going to knock.If Laurent wasn’t ready to see him, he should be able to say so. 

Taking a deep breath, he rapped his knuckles against the door.And waited.After a moment, the door opened and Laurent was standing there, blocking the entrance to the room with all his casual and arrogant grace.He looked Damen up and down and then opened the door wider, stepping to the side.Damen walked in and then out to the balcony, not turning to see if Laurent was following.He wasn’t sure how this was going to go and he felt more secure where he could smell the ocean.

An elbow knocked up against his.“Scared?” Laurent said.

“Should I be?”

Laurent faced him and waited until Damen did the same.“No,” he said, finally.“I don’t think so.”

“That’s reassuring.”

“How’s Jokaste?”

“That’s where we’re going to start?” Damen asked, incredulously.

Laurent shrugged.Damen cringed internally, his body tensing up at the awkwardness of the interaction.He didn’t want to skirt around the edges.He wanted to get the worst over with.“She’s fine,” he said, purposely keeping it blunt and short.“If you’re going to tear me apart, I’d prefer you start now.”

There was a war in Laurent’s eyes and then he sighed, “I’m not going to tear you apart, Damen.I’m not angry”

Damen raised his eyebrows.

“I needed to be alone to think, that’s all.”

Damen waited for more, but none came.Shaking his head, he returned his gaze to the ocean and watched a pair of gulls weave in and out of each other’s space.Framed against the sky, they looked stunning. Damen watched them until they flew out of view.“You’re very quiet,” he said, finally.

“What do you want me to say?”

“Anything, Laurent.I’ll take anything.”

“You must’ve met Phaedrus.Does he look anything like you?”

“That’s not…” Damen huffed and stepped right into Laurent’s space, which surprised him.Laurent’s eyes widened and a hint of irritation appeared.Damen threw his shoulders back, emphasizing his physicality, and said, “What happens now?What have you been thinking about?Come on, Laurent, you must want to tell me.It’s not like you’re angry with me or anything.”

Laurent closed his eyes, gripped Damen by the shoulders and tried to push him back, to no avail. It took little to no strength to keep himself still.He could feel Laurent’s tension and he knew before it happened that Laurent was going to break.

“You want me to tell you what I’ve planned?” he said, voice sharp as cracked pottery, “How can I guarantee you won’t shout it to the world when someone scratches my leg?Maybe we should test the extent of that ability now.I can make you angrier than you were this afternoon and then we’ll go out into the halls and ask anyone if they heard your yelling.”

“Get it all out,” Damen said, keeping his eyes firmly on Laurent’s.

Laurent blinked slowly, his eyes darkening, and clenched his jaw.“I…you are infuriating, Damianos.”

“That’s it?”

Laurent’s composure was back.Damen knew he could force him back out of it, but the energy that would entail was not worth it.He had a general idea of Laurent’s feelings and that would be enough to continue the conversation.So, Damen swallowed his pride, stepped out of Laurent’s space, and said, “I am sorry.I lost control and I can’t promise it won’t happen again, but I am sorry.”

“That’s supposed to make it alright?”

“No.But I owed you an apology nonetheless.”

“You do realize I am fine, correct?” Laurent said.

“I do distinctly remember you saying it’s a scratch.”Damen moved into Laurent’s space again, but without the hostility from earlier. “Talk to me,” he murmured, slipping his fingers into Laurent’s hair.It was as far as he was willing to go.Laurent allowed it, but his eyes were dangerous.There were very long breaths of tense silence, but then Laurent sighed, lifting a hand to Damen’s and removed it from his hair.He didn’t let go of the hand, though.

“Why…are you…” Laurent stopped himself and then started laughing.It started soft and surprising, but then he was bending over slightly, gripping the railing of the balcony and roaring with laughter.“A rock hit me in the leg and you stormed over there and talked of trust and loyalty and marriage,” he managed to choke out between laughs.

“That rock could’ve hit you anywhere,” Damen said disapprovingly.

Laurent continued laughing, gasping for breath now.

“Your shifts in mood are endlessly confusing,” Damen grumbled.

Laurent moved so his back was against the railing and his arms were spread out to either side.“That’s because, even now, I still can’t decide if I want to burn you alive or fuck you until we can’t breathe and I can’t tell my legs apart from yours.”

“Do I get a say?”

Turning his head to Damen, Laurent smiled angelically.“I don’t think so.”

“I was going to pick being burned alive, actually.” The smile Laurent gave Damen was genuine and almost shy.He was shaking his head and murmuring to himself.“I want to be angry with you,” he said, finally.“You do realize what you’ve done, right?”

“Probably not to the extent you do, but yes.”

Laurent left the balcony and wandered inside, picking an orange up from the table and tossing it between his hands, before settling in a chair and peeling it.“I can tell you the extent of it, but you have to promise not to be angry with me.”

“Why would I be angry with you?”

“Because it’s going to make you sound like a variable.If I recall correctly, you weren’t fond of that.”

“You’re telling me that you planned for this, aren’t you?You thought I might do something like this.”

Laurent nodded.“My uncle consistently beat me because he planned for the losses as well as the wins.I thought I’d adopt a similar strategy.” Laurent launched into an extensive and detailed explanation of his thoughts on the matter.He started by laying out the political landscape as he saw it.There was someone working against them, that much he’d learned for sure from the young woman they had captured.The most important things he’d learned from her were that the dagger she’d stabbed him with wasn’t hers and where Laurent could find it.Laurent explained that it was an incredibly fine piece of steel, insinuating someone with money was involved.Now, whoever it was—Laurent had a strong and altogether unfounded belief that it at least involved Guion mostly because he still felt the decision to let him live was destined to haunt him—had all of the material they needed to sway public opinion away from Laurent and Damen.Laurent began the next part by saying Damen was going to hate what came next, but that he could handle it, as it was his fault.Everything was going to have to become very public.Their private lives were no longer theirs.They were going to have to get married very publicly very soon, as soon as Nikandros and Jord could get here, as he knew Damen wouldn’t get married without Nikandros beside him.There were going to be games and celebrations and lots of dinners and diplomatic missions.They would have to go on tours of the kingdoms.The borders had to opened immediately and Laurent was going to work tirelessly on getting members of the Veretian court to make the journey, in order to accustom themselves with the Akielon people and the Akielon people with them.What Damen understood by the end was that everything they’d been planning was going to be carried out in a similar fashion, just much faster and more publicly.

Armies were also to be readied, patrols would increase, and the border would still be heavily guarded, despite being open.Laurent warned him that these precautions were only going to stop some of the damage, but not all of it.

There could be no public executions.Any death was going to have to be carried out quietly and without fuss.Laurent then explained that the woman who’d stabbed him was dead, which Damen didn’t even have the heart to complain about at this point.He simply let Laurent talk and talk until he was done.

“Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out,” Damen said.

“And you’re alright with all of that?”

“Does it matter?”

Laurent sighed, closing the distance between them.The entire time he’d been speaking, Laurent hadn’t left the chair he’d been sitting in and Damen had sat on the edge of the bed.He pulled Damen against him, now, and said, “Of course it does.This is about us and I can’t do it without you.”

“Seems like you could.”

“Moping doesn’t suit you, Damen.Would I lie to you?”

Damen leaned into Laurent, hiding his eyes in his chest and groaned.He allowed himself some time to digest the information in the enclosure of darkness and scent that was wholly Laurent.Laurent, for his part, wound his fingers into Damen’s hair and carried them up and down the nape of his neck, humming absentmindedly all the while.“Fine,” Damen said, once he’d surfaced, “But on one condition.”

“Are you going to come up with a plan all of your own if I don’t accept?”

“Fine.One request.”

“Very well.”

“We do it honestly.No acts.You show my people and your people the actual Laurent and nothing else.”

“But…”

Damen kissed the palm of Laurent’s hand, silencing him.“I fell in love with you and so will they.”

“I’ll think about it,” Laurent answered.Damen hadn’t expected anything more so he let it slide.Instead, he brought Laurent down onto his lap and hugged him close.

“Thank you for trusting me with that,” Damen said.

“I didn’t want to fight.” 

A long, comfortable silence followed.Damen spent most of the time considering how lucky he was to have Laurent in his arms right now.He’d been prepared to sleep somewhere else for the night.

“Someone should write to Jord and Nikandros,” Damen said, once he was tired of being left alone with his thoughts.

“Already done.”

“Doesn’t it get exhausting?Always thinking and strategizing?”The lilt to his voice was teasing, but Damen was genuinely curious how Laurent managed to do it every day, all of the time.

Laurent kissed Damen’s neck, curling his face into the space there.“Entirely,” he breathed, letting out a long sigh.“I am exhausted.But it’s the only thing I know how to do, so I do it.”

That answer sobered Damen completely.The reality of Laurent’s years of survival emerged from it, like water soaking into a cloth.His mind turned even darker, as he wondered if it was an injustice Laurent could ever recover from.If only the Regent were still alive, so he could kill him.Slowly.

A finger pressed to his temple broke his train of thought.Laurent said, “I know what you’re thinking.Stop.What’s done is done.”

“I hate what he did to you,” Damen murmured.

Laurent inhaled sharply and stretched in Damen’s arms, giving himself more space within them.Damen retracted his arms completely and waited until Laurent’s arms were with flush with his, tugging them by the wrists back around his body.He didn’t respond to Damen’s comment.Damen hadn’t expected him to. 

Instead, he changed the topic, as he was wont to do.“So…does Phaedrus look anything like you?”

“You were actually curious about that?”

Laurent shrugged.Damen watched him carefully and thought, perhaps, Laurent was a lot more interested in this topic than he was letting on.“Why don’t you see for yourself?” Damen said.

“I…it’s not my affair.”

“I think it is.”

“What if I don’t want to be involved in your nephew’s life?” Laurent asked, his voice aloof.

“I won’t force you to do anything.”Damen wanted to add that he thought Laurent was letting fear rule him in this aspect of his life.It made sense.Devoting time and love and attention to a person who had long years to grow and learn and not knowing, by the end of it all, who they were going to be or what they were going to do, was such a blank slate, even he was terrified.If Phaedrus turned into something horrid, much of the blame could land on him.For Laurent, it was a power he did not want and a trust he was not willing to give.And yet, there was value in family and excitement in passing on knowledge.Damen was confident Laurent would delight in sharing his already vast experience with someone who could actually learn from it.He owed himself that opportunity.

None of that left his mouth.It wasn’t helpful, it would start a fight, and he knew Laurent was smart enough to figure it out. Instead, after some time had passed, he said, “He looks more like my father than me or Kastor.His eyes are the same, though.”

Laurent smiled softly.“Good.”

Damen crinkled his eyebrows.

“Much of your honesty comes from your eyes.Hopefully, it’s a sign that trait will transfer to the child as well.”

“You didn’t mention my potential child among your plans.”

“No.Nor did I mention slavery.”

That was true.Damen waited through the silence for Laurent to explain himself.

“There’s only so much I can handle at one time.Fighting off Jokaste would become extremely difficult and the abolition of slavery would only make both of our people even angrier.At this point, it’s something we’re going to have to save for when things have settled.I know that’s not what you want to hear, but there’s only so much change you can force on people at one time.”

“If the child exists, I want to meet them,” Damen murmured.“At least promise me we’ll discover whether or not the child exists.”

Laurent met his eyes and then nodded.“If you want.”

“Jokaste said she wouldn’t fight against us until we’ve talked about heirs and succession together, anyway.”

“You’ve been busy.”

“I was avoiding you.”

Laurent laughed.“Explains why you’re sweaty.You went and swung around a sword, didn’t you?”

“She also wants you to like her,” Damen continued, nonchalantly.

“That should be interesting.”

Damen slipped his arms underneath Laurent and stood, lifting him up.“My legs were starting to hurt,” he explained, helping Laurent into a standing position.Laurent’s eyes began a familiar battle and then he placed a hand on Damen’s sternum, slowly pushing him back towards the bed.“You have to take a bath when we’re done.I won’t sleep with that smell,” he said, before capturing Damen’s lips with his.

Damen let his body topple onto the bed and let Laurent climb on top of him.Unpinning Damen’s chiton, Laurent slid the fabric down to Damen’s waist and kissed and licked his way across Damen’s collarbone to his left nipple, which he bit and sucked with contained enthusiasm.Damen’s hands rested on Laurent’s waist, almost as an afterthought, but when Laurent moved up and began suckling his pulse point, Damen’s fingers tensed and clutched at the fabric there.

Without conscious thought, Damen’s hips bucked up into Laurent’s, searching for friction and Laurent smiled into his kisses, pulling away to shake his head and whisper into Damen’s ear, “Much too eager.I may have to make you pay for that.”

Damen rolled them over, so he was hanging over Laurent.“Like hell,” he growled.Laurent’s eyes were wide and dark and then he curled himself around Damen completely, arms around his neck, legs around his waist, and kissed him languorously, their tongues sliding, mouths hot.Damen used one hand splayed across Laurent’s lower back to hold him up.It was all too easy to sit up and carry Laurent with him, none of their contact breaking.Taking advantage of the opportunity, Laurent ground down in a slow rhythm, fingers tugging hard on Damen’s hair.When they pulled away, foreheads touching, to breathe, Laurent said, “You are wearing far too many clothes.”

“Me?What about you?” Damen returned, tugging uselessly on the laces at Laurent’s throat.

“You’re going to tear my throat out,” Laurent said, blandly, intersecting space between their bodies and working on the laces himself.Damen was working on the pants and he had those laces undone much quicker than Laurent on his shirt and he groaned.

Laurent laughed, falling backwards onto the bed, and gestured for Damen to continue.Damen pulled down his pants, got them stuck on the boots he’d forgotten about, removed those as quickly as possible, and then hurried through the rest of the motions as he kissed the dip inside Laurent’s hipbone.

“As exquisite as usual?” Laurent said.

Damen suckled the head of Laurent’s cock to shut him up. It worked.He wasn’t particularly interested in remaining there at the moment, but anything to get Laurent to stop talking.After a proper amount of attention, he crawled back up Laurent’s body, helping him with the unlaced clothing, and kissed him hard, their chests flush against each other, legs entangled.

Laurent flipped them so he was back on top and grabbed a bottle of oil from the bedside table.His eyes were fixed on Damen’s when he murmured, “I want you inside of me.Now.”His oil-slathered hand was working over Damen’s cock perfunctorily.Damen couldn’t see his other hand, but he realized Laurent was preparing himself when he gave a sharp intake of breath and shut his eyes briefly.It was unbelievably arousing.

And then he was inside Laurent, without warning, without preamble.Laurent bent over Damen, his hair framed their faces while he kissed him slowly, rolling his hips at the same pace.Damen gripped his hips hard enough to bruise and gasped, his thighs shuddering, at the tight heat.Kissing became more difficult than it was worth, so instead they kept their lips a mere inch away from each other, eyes closed, focused on sensation.

Laurent gradually increased the pace and then he sat up, his hands on Damen’s chest to keep him balanced, and started an actual rhythm, slaps of flesh echoing through the room.His head was tipped back and his lips parted and Damen couldn’t look away.

“I’m going to…”

A small grimace crossed Laurent’s lips, but he said, “Oh no you don’t,” and slid sideways off Damen.“You still have to pay.”

Damen growled and kissed Laurent with more teeth than was strictly necessary.Laurent’s hand was loose around his cock and pumping gently, stalling any build to release.“I hate you,” Damen grumbled.

“Not as much as I hate you,” Laurent said, cheerily.

“I guess it’s time to see if I can make you come from kissing,” Damen sighed, with mock regret and bent down to lick a stripe up Laurent’s neck.Then he pecked a string of feather-light kisses, slowing down when he reached his pulse point.Damen stayed there, kissing open-mouthed, but gently and leisurely, with an excessive amount of tongue.He could already hear Laurent breathing harder, his fingers straining against locks of hair.

“Not fair,” Laurent breathed and then moaned, stopping it halfway through with a bite to his lip.

Damen began to travel down his body, not speeding up his kisses in any way.When he finally reached Laurent’s hipbones again, he breathed against Laurent’s cock for a moment, before trailing three kisses up the side and then Laurent was coming, Damen’s name slipping from his mouth louder than normal.

Damen licked up some of the come, while stroking his own cock.Laurent waved away his hand and stroked it furiously until Damen followed him.

Once they were toweled down, Damen sunk down on the bed with a smile.“I definitely didn’t expect to get that tonight.”

“Go take a bath,” Laurent replied.

Damen considered the order.He’d never actually promised to do so and his limbs felt like water.“I will, if you promise to meet Phaedrus.”

“That’s not a fair exchange.”

Damen shrugged.“I’m more than happy for you to lay in the cloying sweat of an Akielon for a little longer.”

Laurent was silent.So was Damen.

“Oh, fine.I promise.Please take a bath.”

“As you wish, sweetheart,” Damen said, leaning over and kissing his shoulder.Then he stood, pinned on his chiton, and went to the baths, any worries he had earlier in the day gone.Whether that was wise was unclear to him, but he wasn’t going to say no to the pleasant warmth in his stomach as he thought of watching his family grow. Laurent would protect them. That much he could be sure of.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this ended up being substantially more fluff than I originally signed up for. It's also significantly longer.  
> In another quick note, @thearidoyle is writing a lovely fic called The Auguste Letters and she came to me asking if she could continue her letters into my fic. She threw around some ideas and, anyways, that's where the letters that I mention come into it. I promised her Laurent would give them as a wedding gift.  
> Back to the usual now...I love you all, thank you so much, you are still ruling my life.  
> Thanks to @vereandakielos and @geekdomgalor for their unswerving help. I love you both. Like crazy.  
> Enjoy!!!!!

When Damen woke the next morning, Laurent was not in bed beside him.The sheets, where the lingering remnants of Laurent’s body heat should’ve been, were long cold.It wasn’t unexpected, not with everything Laurent had detailed last night, but it brought a sting of regret.Waking to Laurent’s blurry eyes and soft, light-dappled hair was always one of the best parts of Damen’s day.

Instead, there was a soft tickling against his cheek and when Damen cracked his eyelids apart and was fully able to grasp the situation around him, he jolted up in bed.Anais yowled as she leapt backward and away from Damen’s flailing hands.

“Since when did you want to be within five feet of me?” Damen said, exasperatedly.Anais licked her paw on the edge of the bed, as if nothing abnormal had happened.Once Damen’s heart rate had settled and he leaned back against the bed frame, Anais set her paw down and stared at him unblinkingly. 

“I don’t like you either,” Damen said.

The comment was followed by more staring.

There was a knock on the door.Damen made sure the sheets covered everything important, then called for the person to enter.Jokaste wandered in, Phaedrus in her arms, and she sat down next to Anais. 

She spoke without preamble, “You’re getting married in a week.”Then she scratched Anais’ ears, who let her.Damen attempted not to look flabbergasted at that.

“Am I?” Damen asked, running a hand over his face.

Jokaste nodded, her eyes bright.Damen could tell she was on the verge of laughter.“It’s a disaster out there.Your fiancé has everyone in the palace working until they collapse.Has since the early hours of the morning.”

Damen nodded.“Are you hiding?”

“Yes.I’m fairly confident he could find a job for a nursing mother, too, and I’d rather not.I’m surprised he’s left you alone so long.”

“We had a late night last night,” Damen answered, thinking back on hours of unhurried lovemaking, even after he’d returned from the bath.It had been both his and Laurent’s way of apologizing.A light flush spread across his cheeks when Jokaste gave him an unabashed look of obvious humor.

“I take it he wasn’t angry for long, then,” Jokaste said.

Damen glared at her and then slid across the bed, making sure to keep the sheets around the lower half of his body, and peered over her shoulder at Phaedrus, who was sleeping soundly.“Is he this beautiful every day?” Damen murmured.

“So far.”A short pause, “Actually, I came here for something else,” Jokaste said.

“What?”

“Would you watch him for a bit?I’d like to go on a walk.Alone.”

“I…what if he gets hungry?What if he starts crying, what am I supposed to do then?I don’t really think…”

Jokaste waved away the protestations.“I just fed him and if he starts crying, just rock him.He won’t stop, but that’s the most even I can do.”Judging Damen was still terrified of the concept of being left alone with Phaedrus, she sighed, “I can take him back to my rooms and leave him with one of my lady’s maids.I simply thought you might like some time with him.”

The door opened and Damen knew it was Laurent, because there had been no knock or masked effort to care about the occupant’s privacy.It took all of a breathless moment for Laurent to see who was in the room with Damen.He stopped short, every line of his body tensing and his face falling into its flat, unreadable neutrality.The stillness that followed was unnatural, but Laurent quickly collected himself, shut the door behind him, then ambled into the room, leaning back against the table to observe Damen and Jokaste.

“I hear we’re getting married in a week,” Damen said, barely taking his eyes away from Phaedrus to acknowledge Laurent further.He wasn’t positive it would irk Laurent, but he did want to make it clear that he should learn to be comfortable around Jokaste and Phaedrus.Of course, Damen was regretting this as he watched the sleeping baby, because he would very much prefer to gaze at Laurent, judge his mood, see if giving Jokaste a break from Phaedrus was at all realistic.

“Yes,” Laurent acknowledged.

“I’m impressed you’ve managed to get anyone to do what you want.”

Laurent scoffed lightly.“They may be Akielon and I may be Veretian, but I’m hard to ignore.”

Damen made a point to ignore him, running a finger over the top of Phaedrus’ head, amazed at how tiny it was.When he glanced up at Jokaste to share that amazement, she smiled knowingly, imitating Damen’s motion with her own finger.

“Don’t you two look like the perfect glowing parents?” Laurent said, softly.Damen groaned internally, hearing the danger present in those words, and finally turned his attention to Laurent.A sharp glint of victory flashed in Laurent’s eyes and the corners of his lips were smug.It wasn’t a smile exactly, but it was as close as Laurent was going to come at the present moment.

“I think maybe it’s time you keep your promise,” Damen said.He stared pointedly, daring Laurent to continue being an ass.

There was no change in the way Laurent was holding his body, but his eyes gave something away.Jokaste watched the interaction and then shifted Phaedrus to Damen’s arms.Damen nodded, deciding to force the situation, and Jokaste smiled gratefully.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Jokaste said.She stood and passed Laurent on the way out, laying a gentle hand briefly on his shoulder, one Laurent weathered with an impassive face and without a glance to acknowledge her existence.

“Your cat likes her, you know,” Damen said, “Maybe you’re being too hard on her.”

Laurent’s eyes narrowed at Anais, who couldn’t have cared less.Damen almost laughed as he thought that perhaps Laurent had finally met his match.Laurent crossed his arms over his chest and murmured, “Anais.She’s your cat, too.”

“I was not the one who carried her from an alley.”

Laurent clearly had nothing else to say on the matter, his lips in a thin line.Damen couldn’t think of anything else to say, so he returned his attention to Phaedrus.It gave him something to do.

“She left the child,” Laurent said, interrupting the silence.

Damen smiled at Phaedrus, who was, wonderfully, still sleeping.Damen hoped he would stay that way.“Yes.She wanted some time alone.I was more than happy to give that to her.”More softly, “Why don’t you come and meet him?”

“Are you going to make me?”

“You promised,” Damen replied. 

Laurent steeled himself and approached, moving Anais so he could sit where she was sitting.Anais curled up in his lap and Damen suddenly felt a strange warmth for the cat.Her presence comforted Laurent considerably.Damen could already see his fingers curling tightly into her fur.

Bridging the rest of the gap, Damen angled his body so Laurent could see Phaedrus’ face.Nothing flickered in Laurent’s expression, but his eyes didn’t depart from Phaedrus for a moment.Damen watched intently, trying to catch any variation of muscle, but Laurent was giving nothing away.He only stared.

Then Phaedrus woke up, his lids peeling back to show his bright brown eyes.There was a brief stretch of silence, where Phaedrus was trying to understand what was happening to him and then he was crying.Laurent jerked back very obviously, Anais ran off, and Damen grimaced, pulling Phaedrus in close to his body and bouncing him gently.

“Please tell me you know what you’re doing,” Laurent said, his voice louder than normal so he could be heard.“That’s a distinctly unpleasant noise.”

“I don’t,” Damen replied.He realized when he said that, however, that it didn’t disturb him.Phaedrus’ face was turning red and wetness was on his cheeks, but Damen didn’t feel overwhelmed.He knew it was simply a thing he had to ride out and ride it out he would.He understood that this would get old—it likely already had for Jokaste—but for now, it felt as though this was the least he could do for Phaedrus. 

Damen started murmuring to the baby, trying to accustom him to his voice.“I’m Uncle Damen,” he began.“My name is actually Damianos, but I suspect that won’t be easy for you to say.That man over there, the grumpy one, that’s your Uncle Laurent.Your mother stepped out for a little while, but she’ll be back soon and until she is, we’ll take good care of you.You know, someday, there are so many things we’ll be able to teach you.Maybe you’ll like riding horses or sword fighting or reading and I know a person who can teach you a magic trick.That would be your Uncle Laurent, by the way.He’s being awfully stubborn right now, hiding behind a pillar and pretending he doesn’t like you.But we both know better, don’t we?How could anyone not love you?”

Damen found his rambling skills severely lacking and he glanced over at Laurent in the break between his words.Laurent had moved back to the bed and was perched on the edge, ready to break into flight at any disturbance.The set of his mouth was the same, but there was a distinct softness in his eyes.He wasn’t looking at Phaedrus, though, he was looking at Damen.

“I had no idea you were so good with children,” Laurent said, almost pulling off a nonchalant tone.

“I know someone who’s demonstrated they’re even better than me.I also know someone who is excellent at rambling,” Damen said.Then he held out Phaedrus.Laurent stared at Damen warily and Damen stared back.The longer their eyes held, the more difficult it became, but Damen managed to focus on the blue of his eyes instead of the fierceness beyond them.

It was surprising when Damen felt Laurent’s hands underneath his, but he surrendered Phaedrus easily, watching as Laurent shifted the baby into his arms and held him gingerly, as though he were a piece of fine glassware.Then his mouth began moving.Damen crawled over and rested his chin on Laurent’s shoulder, so he could hear over the harsh screaming.

“…Entirely unattractive.You really shouldn’t cry around people you don’t know, either.It gives too much away.In fact, this will be your first lesson.Ready?You do not know Damen or I well enough to cry in front of us.It does not matter that he’s calling himself uncle or that he’s family.It does not matter when I tell you that there is no one in this world that you should trust more than Damen.That is something you must discover for yourself and take your time, because when you’re wrong, there’s nothing worse.”

Damen’s heart clenched and he questioned whether this was something one told a child, but he didn’t interject.Phaedrus was actually starting to quiet down and Damen knew that Laurent could keep going indefinitely.Certaintly until Phaedrus ceased crying.

Laurent brought one of his hands out from underneath Phaedrus and he swiped his index finger below one of Phaedrus’ eyes.“You really do have Damen’s eyes,” he murmured.The last thing Damen had expected to hear were those words and Damen felt something shift in both him and Laurent.Something fundamental had changed and Damen knew Laurent felt it too, because he hastily retracted his finger and shoved Phaedrus back into Damen’s arms.

It didn’t help end the screaming, but Damen didn’t argue or beg Laurent to continue.Instead, he rocked Phaedrus some more and waited the screams out.Eventually, they did stop, but Damen suspected it had very little to do with him and more to do with exhaustion.

The quiet that followed was loud.Laurent was very still beside him, his hands in his lap.He was looking down at them.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have pressed you.”

Laurent shook his head.“I…”Damen waited, suddenly unsure what the head shake had meant.In the juncture that followed, Damen could see the moment Laurent made the conscious decision to be honest instead of deflect.“Can he not call me uncle?Laurent will do.”

“Does that mean…”

Laurent reached for Phaedrus and Damen handed the baby over, trying not to smile.Extending a finger back to Phaedrus’ face, Laurent caressed his cheek and then smiled.There was a pause and then Phaedrus was smiling back and that only made Laurent’s smile widen further.Looking up at Damen, Laurent’s expression was alight with surprise and awe and Damen started laughing.He leaned over and kissed Laurent’s temple.

“He’s strong,” Damen said, curling his finger into Phaedrus’ hand.Laurent watched and then hit Damen’s hand out of the way and slipped his finger where Damen’s had been.Phaedrus gripped it and Laurent was completely and totally under the baby’s control.Damen let his head fall on top of Laurent’s as they watched Phaedrus together.

Phaedrus remained intensely interesting, even when he fell back to sleep.Laurent murmured, quietly, likely afraid he would wake the baby, “I came here to put you to work, not to get sucked into babysitting.You are a bad influence, lover.”

“His skin is softer than yours,” Damen retorted.

“You are too easily distracted,” Laurent said.But he ran his finger back over Phaedrus’ cheek, as though to verify the statement. 

They heard a short chuckle of amusement and both Damen and Laurent looked up to see Jokaste standing there.“Don’t you two look the perfect glowing parents?”

Damen laughed and Laurent continued to hold Phaedrus, nothing in his expression changing.There was a stare-down happening between Jokaste and Laurent and the tension only broke when Jokaste said, “He looks comfortable there.”

Jokaste moved to sit on Laurent’s other side.“I don’t suppose you’d be willing to give him back.”

Laurent pondered that.“He only just fell asleep.”

Jokaste tilted backwards, behind Laurent’s head, and met Damen’s eyes.Damen shrugged.Laurent said, “If you think you’re being subtle, you’d be wrong.”

“Aren’t you planning a wedding?” Jokaste asked.

Laurent grumbled something only he could hear, then shifted the baby into Jokaste’s waiting arms.There was a brief flash of listlessness in Laurent’s blue eyes before he recovered and said, “Yes.Damen, come with me.”

Damen stood, the sheets falling away, leaving him naked, and wandered around the room until he found something to put on.There was a tiny frown on Laurent’s face, as though he didn’t quite understand something, and Damen said, “What?It’s not like she hasn’t seen it before.”That wasn’t exactly what Damen was thinking while he strolled around the room, but he hadn’t been about to create a fuss over Jokaste’s presence.

Jokaste nodded in solidarity.

Laurent turned to Jokaste.“He is shy, though, yes?”

“Oh, very.”

Laurent nodded, as though the world had righted itself, and waited in a insouciant pose for Damen to finish getting dressed.When he had, Laurent said, “Would you like something to do, Jokaste?”

“No, thank you.I’ve a baby to take care of.”

“A handy excuse.”

“One, I think, you’d happily use.”

“Mmm,” Laurent murmured.Damen caught Jokaste’s eye and tried not to laugh. 

“For that, I think I’ll put you supervision duty.I need someone to oversee the decoration of the veranda and the setting of the tables,” Laurent mused.

Damen groaned.“Couldn’t I…”

“I’d be more than happy to take over if it’s acknowledged that I could spend just as much time laughing over the ridiculous faces and voices you give Phaedrus.I distinctly remember something high-pitched and nonsensical coming from your mouth, lover, and you, Jokaste, have a proclivity for poking his nose and laughing.”

“He doesn’t like being made fun of,” Jokaste smiled.

“No.And I think we should stop before someone does something they will regret,” Damen said.Jokaste was unaccustomed to Laurent’s varying moods and the meanings of small shifts in musculature, but Damen knew they were toeing a very fine line.Jokaste was still in too precarious of a position to test Laurent; not that she knew that.

“Very wise,” Laurent said.“In that case, I’d like you to go fetch the rings from the blacksmith.Then, I need you to go approve your new chiton, pick flowers for the vases, find and pay someone to conduct the ceremony, and write out a list of Akielon marriage practices that you would like me to incorporate into the wedding.”

“Flowers?” Damen asked.

“You’re qualified, I’m sure.As much as I am.”

“It seems…”

“More like something I would enjoy?You’d be wrong.It’s banal.They are important, nonetheless, so don’t make a mess of it.”

Damen stepped in close, shielding Laurent’s eyes from Jokaste, and whispered low, “It seems to me you’re doing an excellent job of pouting.”

“Do I need to reiterate the importance of flowers?”

“Please don’t.”A long pause followed, where Damen watched the tense rise and fall of Laurent’s shoulders and chest.“It’s alright to love something or someone unconditionally, Laurent.Normal, even.”

“I don’t want to be normal.Haven’t you seen what becomes of normal people?”

“I’m still alive.”

Laurent laughed shortly.“You are far from normal.”

“I’ll go pick out flowers, shall I?” Damen sighed.Laurent smiled softly and wound a finger through one of Damen’s curls.Then, tugging hard on the curl, he pulled Damen’s head down and kissed him gently.Leaning into the kiss, Damen smiled as he felt his knees go weak and his stomach drop.At least that was something both he and Laurent could still count on.

“No pink,” Laurent said, eyes still closed and lips inches from Damen’s.Damen could feel the increased rhythm of his breathing.

“Never,” Damen replied.“Don’t murder any of my staff.”

“I’ll do what I can.There’ve already been some close calls.”

Damen smiled, slipping another kiss in, before pulling away completely.Laurent was smiling too, helplessly, but then he took a deep breath and his usual impassiveness was back in place.He left the room without a backward glance, even when Jokaste shouted a goodbye after him.

“Don’t be here when either Laurent or I get back.He’s had enough for today.”With that, Damen left as well.Hopefully, she would heed his words.

He spent the rest of the day doing what Laurent asked of him.The flowers ended up being the most enjoyable, as the florist was a sprightly young woman who had extensive knowledge of all things that grow and loved to share it, unbidden.She also had good taste in colors and, while she deferred all choices to Damen, she ended up coming up with the winning combination.Delicate leafy fronds, small blue flowers that hung from a thin green stem, and large, droopy white flowers.She promised to fill all of the vases herself, for which Damen was exceedingly grateful.They’d have to be done they day of and Damen didn’t want to worry about it for all the days in between.

The rings the blacksmith had made were simple gold bands and when Damen tried his on, it fit perfectly.The blacksmith mentioned that Laurent had already stopped by for his fitting and paid for them, so Damen was free to go.

The last stop was approving his chiton and Damen did so with barely a glance.There was simply no feigning an interest in clothes.Laurent would’ve scolded him, but he wasn’t there and the seamstress seemed satisfied with his reaction. 

 

Similar tasks were given to Damen throughout the week and when he wasn’t doing that, he was training or having meetings with his advisors.He hardly saw Laurent.Most nights, he’d come back to the room when Damen was already asleep.He would wake Damen up with a quick kiss, but not much else was exchanged.It wasn’t enough, but Damen wasn’t going to complain.Their life was not likely to settle down anytime soon.The luxuries they had become used to over the past couple of months was no longer a realistic expectation.

On the night before the wedding, Laurent got in earlier than usual.Damen was still awake, reading a book by the candlelight.

“Reading without me?” Laurent said, lightly.

“It’s grown on me.”

“Good.”Laurent undid his jacket and pants, tugging them off lethargically, then crawled into bed beside Damen, reading over his shoulder.Damen allowed it for a while, but then closed the book, earning a small noise of protest from Laurent, and said, “How was your day?”

“Long,” Laurent said, closing his eyes.His head was on Damen’s shoulder and his legs were weaved in between Damen’s, his cold feet hiding underneath much warmer calves.He yawned softly and nestled even closer, his breath tickling Damen’s neck.“Best part of it right here.”

Damen hummed in agreement.“I’ve missed you.”

Softly, “I’m sorry about that.”

“Nothing to be done about it.”

“Does it ever get exhausting to be so understanding?”

“Not with you,” Damen said.

“You are such a liar,” Laurent laughed, kissing Damen’s neck.Then again.And again.“I’ve missed the taste of your skin,” he murmured.

All thoughts ceased at those words.They surprised Damen and they made his heart beat faster.“It’s been a long week, hasn’t it?” 

“The weeks aren’t going to get any shorter,” Laurent admitted, quietly.

“We’re up to the challenge.”

“How was your day?”

“I argued for nearly half of it over where to draw the money for the wedding from.You tell me.”

“Vere will cover half.”

“They know.”’

Laurent sighed and ran his fingers slowly over Damen’s lips.It was as though he was reacquainting himself with every part of Damen.Fingers were now tracing the lobe of Damen’s ear as Laurent said, “You’ll be my husband after tomorrow.”

Damen’s heart missed a beat.Husband.He felt like this was what they’d really been working for and it was almost here.Combining kingdoms came with loving Laurent, but it had never been about that.It had always been about this.Laurent’s fingers scratching against the stubble of his cheek, their legs entwined, the comfort of a conversation after a long day, never being parted from him.This, for the rest of his life.Tomorrow, he’d get to declare his love in front of all his people and ensure that Laurent would never be able to escape him.For some, it could seem like too much, but Damen couldn’t imagine it becoming a chore.He was finally getting what he wanted.

The thoughts flowed fast through Damen and he felt they were all worth sharing, but he was finding it hard to translate them into words.Instead, he whispered, “Husband.”The word tasted lovely in his mouth.

“Bets on whether or not our wedding will be interrupted?”

“I’m not going to bet on that,” Damen said, pursing his lips.He didn’t want to even think about that possibility, let alone make a wager on it.That would insinuate he approved of contemplating the idea.

“You are no fun.”

“I resent that,” Damen said, rolling them over so he had Laurent pinned into the bed.

“Being fun and being good at sex are different things,” Laurent said, dryly.Amusement flickered behind his eyes, though.

“I’m good, am I?”

“Aiming for an earful of talk again.Hopeless, is what you are.”

Damen leaned down and bit Laurent’s ear.“I’m yours.And you’re mine.”He knew those words were dangerous, he knew he could end up on the floor, he knew Laurent might not talk to him for the rest of the night, but they felt like the right ones; the honest ones.

Laurent did go still but he didn’t move to push Damen away.His blue eyes were dark and he said, “Oh, yes, I love belonging to people.”

Damen remained still, holding himself above Laurent.Their eyes locked and neither looked away.Laurent hardly even blinked.Damen sensed they were battling, he just wasn’t sure over what.It didn’t matter to him whether Laurent actually belonged to him, as long as Laurent knew that he had all of Damen. 

“My feet are cold,” Laurent finally said, pulling Damen back down so that he could slip his feet back into the warm spots of Damen’s body.

Damen shivered at the contact.“Yes, they are.”

“Tell me something.”

“You already know I’ll tell you anything.”

“Is there a day coming when you’ll try and push me?”A pause.“I…I’ve been expecting it for some time, but you still have yet to…you will tell me if you are ever unhappy, won’t you?I’m far from fragile.I can take a little nudging.”

“Is that why you didn’t slit my throat just now?”

Laurent smiled wryly.“No.I didn’t have a knife.”

“Ah.”Damen took the silence afterwards to come up with a response to Laurent’s question.Multiple questions, really.It quickly became apparent that there was only one thing Damen wanted to get across.“I am happy, Laurent.”

Without reason, Laurent flushed hard.He burrowed his head down into Damen’s chest and said, “I am yours.But don’t ever tell me it again.I’d prefer to pretend I wouldn’t abandon all of my plans just to see you smile.”

“My smile?”This was what he had missed most.The gentle needling.

“Still fishing?”

“Always.”Damen placed his hand on Laurent’s cheek and stroked it slowly with his thumb until Laurent looked up at him.Then he smiled with all he had.It was all too easy.Perhaps Laurent could inspire homicidal tendencies, even now, but he could also inspire a depth of happiness so great, it was almost like drowning.

“Let’s pretend I didn’t divulge a valuable piece of information.I’m going to sleep.”Laurent flipped around, his back to Damen’s chest, and his breathing slowed.Damen was still smiling, but he burrowed down into the sheets, slipping an arm around Laurent’s waist and pulling him in tight, breathing him in.Maybe this was what he missed most.

“Stop smiling,” Laurent growled.

 

The next morning was a rush of action that Damen had a hard time keeping up with.Laurent was up and dressed and out of the room in a flash, giving Damen the barest of kisses.He was left sitting on the bed, wondering what he was supposed to do.Lacking inspiration, he got dressed in his ceremonial chiton and then ate breakfast.It was hard getting the food down.His stomach was a mess of bubbling emotion.It surprised him to realize he was actually nervous.If Laurent challenged him to a sword fight right now, he would definitely lose.No question.

Jokaste wandered in early afternoon and told Damen to follow her.Damen didn’t question it and they ended up in an antechamber outside the throne room.

“Why are we here?” Damen asked.

“I don’t know all of the details.I don’t even know what Laurent is doing, to be honest, but he said I should bring you here around noon.He said it was important.”Jokaste tilted her head and straightened out a wrinkled section of Damen’s chiton.She also spun the lion pin so it was straight.“I have to go,” she said.“Phaedrus will be missing me.Good luck today, Damen.You deserve this.”

“Thank you, Jokaste.”

“Oh, that reminds me, Nikandros and…Jord?” Damen nodded, “Arrived late last night.It wouldn’t surprise me if Laurent invited him here as well.”

“Have you seen him?”

Jokaste’s eyes darkened.“No.And I’d prefer not to.”And then she was gone in a flurry of bright cloth and jangling jewels.

Damen barely had time to figure out what he was going to do while he waited, when Nikandros burst into the room.His face was a study in barely controlled anger.“What is she doing here, Damianos?”

“You didn’t…”

“I didn’t get the chance,” he murmured darkly.“She hurried the other way when she saw me.As she should.I will kill her if she’s not careful.”

“You know what she did for me.”

“What she did for you.I don’t care that she saved your life, Damen.There was a better way to do it then sending you to Vere as a pleasure slave.”

“Well, I’ve…”

Nikandros shook his head.“I think any decisions you make regarding people with blonde hair and blue eyes should be disregarded.”

“But then you wouldn’t have me,” Laurent said as he entered the room.

Nikandros grumbled something to himself. 

“What was that?” Laurent asked pleasantly.

Damen held up a hand to Laurent.“I think that’s enough, sweetheart.”

Laurent moved into Damen’s space and strung his fingers through Damen’s upraised hand.Pulling it down, he kissed the inside of Damen’s wrist and murmured against the skin, “No fun.”

“I’m not going to let you abuse Nikandros to prove I can be fun.”

“I can take care of myself,” Nikandros said, on the verge of walking back out the way he came in.“And we still haven’t properly addressed the Jokaste situation.”

“That’s because you kept interrupting me.”

Nikandros eyed Damen and then, to the surprise of everyone in the room—Nikandros himself included—he turned to Laurent.“Why is Jokaste here?”

“She has a child, as I’m sure you’ve heard.Phaedrus.And, at present, Damen and I lack an heir to our throne.She came with the child.”Damen shot Laurent a look and Laurent sighed before continuing, “Damen also enjoys her company and wishes to be her friend.”

“Of course he does,” Nikandros said.

Laurent nodded sympathetically.“Not ideal, is it?”

Nikandros, sensing something in Laurent, straightened his back and drew even closer to him.Damen thought that it was, perhaps, the closest Nikandros had ever willingly stood to Laurent.“You and I will both keep an eye on her.I hope that’s enough.” 

“You never told me how pragmatic Nikandros was,” Laurent said to Damen.

“Can everyone stop?Please?I’m getting married today and I would like to remember this day fondly.You, Nikandros, are here because you are my greatest friend and I wouldn’t do this without you and you, Laurent, are here because getting married to you would be difficult if you weren’t here.That is what today is about and that is all.There will be plenty of time to yell at each other tomorrow.”

“Not if she kills us all before then,” Nikandros grumbled.Laurent glanced at Nikandros with appraising eyes. 

“She’s not going to kill anyone,” Damen shouted.That wrenched Nikandros out of whatever mental morbidness he’d engaged in. “Now,” he said, softer and to Laurent, “Why am I here?”

“Honestly?I just wanted to see you and I thought I might have a break in appointments now and there was no sense in walking across the castle when you could walk to me.”

“Are you serious?”

“Although, since you’re here, I’d like you to stay in this room until the wedding begins.”

“What did I do to you?” Damen said.Every word out of Laurent’s mouth was introducing another layer of torture.

Pretending to be offended, Laurent said, “I just want to make sure you don’t stumble onto a part of the palace involved in the wedding.I want it to be a surprise.Besides, you’ll have Nikandros to keep you company.”

“A surprise?”

“It was a lot of work, Damen.Someone should be able to take it all in at once.”

“Anything else?” Damen asked.

“I do have a gift for you,” Laurent admitted, pulling his other hand from behind his back and handing Damen a bundle of folded paper, tied with a bow.Underneath the letters, was a gold circlet of leaves.His crown.“I knew you’d forget to put it on.Was I right?It didn’t even occur to you, did it?”

“What are these?” Damen asked, holding aloft the papers and choosing to ignore the last jab.

“Don’t read them while I’m around,” was all Laurent said.Then, “Allow me?” slipping the crown from Damen’s weak grip.Damen nodded.He was about to bend his head to provide easier access for Laurent, but then his irritation at being confined to a room flickered back into life and he chose to stare down at Laurent, a small smile on his face.

Nothing changed in Laurent’s face as he rose on to the tips of his toes and nestled the circlet among Damen’s curls.Once he’d done that, his hands fell down the back of Damen’s head and gripped the back of his neck, hard.“I’ll see you soon.”With a quick kiss, he departed.Damen was left staring at the slips of parchment in his hands and the mildly disgusted expression on Nikandros’ face.

Nikandros settled against a wall and then slid down it to the floor.He rested his arms on his knees and said, “I suppose we’ll be here for a while.”

Damen joined him.“I suppose so.”

“I always knew you’d get married first.”

“You thought I was going to marry Jokaste.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“You like Laurent that much better?”

Nikandros pondered that for a moment and then nodded.“I think I do.He wouldn’t sell you into slavery.”

“He might if it saved my life.”

“No…maybe if he could sell himself with you.I trust him to keep you safe.”

“I don’t need protecting.”

Nikandros laughed.“I’ll admit it sounds ridiculous.But, if anyone can do it, he can.”

“Careful, Nikandros, it’s starting to sound like you like him.”Nikandros shrugged.He glanced over at Damen grudgingly and Damen started laughing.“What changed?”Nikandros might’ve been able to get away with silence, that is, until he flushed.“Let me guess…Jord?”

“He has great respect for Laurent,” Nikandros said.

Damen let the conversation drop.Instead, he grabbed the pile of parchment and dumped it onto his lap.Nikandros peered over curiously and then plucked the bow on top loose.It fell to the sides and Nikandros picked up the first slip of paper and unfolded it.“It’s in Veretian,” he sighed.“Clever bastard.”

“It’s unlikely you want to know what it says anyway.”

“Laurent does not strike me as the love letter type.”

“Well, how would I know?I haven’t read it.”

Nikandros tossed the letter into Damen’s face.“I can’t believe you’re going to ignore me and read love letters.”

“I never said I was going to.”

“No.Go ahead.Laurent mentioned in his letter sending for me that I’d be sticking around.There’s plenty of time to talk.”

Damen grinned at Nikandros and unfolded the piece of parchment.It was, in fact, a letter, but Damen had a hard time imagining that all of these pieces of paper were.

 

_My love (the only time you will ever hear this from me),_

 

_I know that at our wedding, you are going to say a lot of disgustingly hopeless things and that I won’t.Not in front of all those people.Not ever.But, I think you deserve to hear some of it.I will be honest, I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking disgustingly hopeless things about you, to my chagrin.It’s a complete waste of time and yet I can’t seem to stop it from happening._

_I love you.There are lots of things I love about you, like your smile and your unfailing kindness and honesty, but none of that really matters.What matters to me is that you’ve given me more than anyone person has ever given me, except maybe my mother.It’s hard to compete with life.But, you’ve taught me how to love, how to trust, how to live for something other than survival._

_I don’t think I need to tell you how hard it is for me to accept those gifts; how hard it is for me to acknowledge that I deserve them, but I’ve managed to admit I need them.I know when I say that I can’t do things without you that you don’t believe me.And that’s reasonable, considering your prior experience.I am rather convincing.But, I can’t.I can make all of these convoluted plans and I can trick people into doing things for me and I can outmaneuver everyone into submission.But it’s meaningless without you.I’m not sure how to describe it, but I don’t ever want my life to be about survival again._

_What I’m really trying to say, poorly, is that, suddenly, I want so many things.I want to meet your child, I want to care for Phaedrus, I want to befriend Nikandros, I want to rule a kingdom with you, I want to see you with gray hair, I want…everything.I have never wanted everything before.I think maybe you have, so you don’t understand what that means, but…it means a lot, Damen._

_I want to do the same for you and I don’t know how.I meant it last night when I said if you were ever unhappy you have to tell me.Because I think I won’t be able to tell.I can’t tell what you need because all you do is give.I want to give you what you need.You, of all people, deserve that._

 

_I love you,_

 

_Laurent_

 

_P.S. You are not required to read the rest of the letters.They are some things I wrote to Auguste throughout the years.I included the ones that concerned you.I thought you might be curious.If you bring them up, I’ll pretend I have no idea what you’re talking about._

 

By the end of the letter, Damen’s cheeks hurt from smiling.Any nervousness he’d been feeling dissipated.There was no doubt in his mind that he was doing the right thing, that throwing his country into turmoil, while selfish, was the right decision.If he had a say in the matter, Laurent and him would be getting married right now, the ceremony would be quick, and they’d be in a bed before the sun had set.

“How long are you two going to be insufferable?” Nikandros asked.

“I could ask the same of you, my friend.”

Nikandros grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest.“I take it the letter was nice.”

“That would be an understatement.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“Of course.”

Silence pervaded the room and Nikandros began tapping his foot.It didn’t take long before he audibly sighed and said, “Tell me everything.”

 

Then it was time.Damen walked outside with Nikandros to a veranda at the rear of the palace.The sun was low in the sky and Damen gasped when he saw all of the candles and torches along the walkway, down the aisle, on the massive tables set to the side.Flowers were abundant and Damen was pleased to see they looked wonderful.Laurent surely approved.A blue carpet was in the center of a large mass of people, all in chairs, and they were chattering away.It wasn’t just courtiers and advisors, but his people.They were wearing the nicest clothes they owned and they were smiling, happy to be in the glow of candlelight beneath Ios to watch a golden haired beauty marry their prince.Whatever Laurent had done to convince them to come had worked. 

Then he spotted Laurent.He was standing at the end of the aisle, waiting patiently for Damen to arrive.His hands were clasped in front of his body and his shoulders were back, his head high.His bangs fell over his crown, but Damen could see glints of it.He was wearing standard Veretian clothing, but the jacket was a bright red and Damen laughed.Apparently the laugh carried, because the back rows of seats turned to him and so did Laurent.

The rest of the walk to the aisle felt long.But when he was there, standing beside Laurent, gazing into his face and dreaming about all of the ways he could maneuver his hair around that crown, it didn’t matter.“Red suits you,” Damen murmured.

“I thought you might approve.How do you like the setting of our wedding?”

“It’s stunning.”

Laurent’s eyes brightened.They shone like starlight, his joy practically radiating into the space between them.

The lilting of a harp began in the background and the crowd began to quiet down.Damen looked around for the noise and saw Jokaste plucking at the strings, her hair done up in an elegant knot.Laurent wound his arm through Damen’s and began walking down the aisle.Everyone was watching and Damen could understand why.Laurent was glowing.He was tall and regal and beautiful.He looked like a king, a king anyone would follow.The candlelight at twilight had been an excellent choice.

Damen glanced back to see Nikandros walking just behind them and he shot Damen an encouraging smile.

The walk down the aisle was short.Everything seemed short now that he was with Laurent.A woman greeted them and then greeted the guests in a larger voice, welcoming them to the ceremony.Her only job was to remind Laurent and Damen what was required of them, to provide the papers to sign, and then to declare them married.Whatever happened in between was up to Laurent and Damen.The rings were traditionally a Veretian custom, one Damen was happy to include, as he missed his cuff desperately.

The woman carried them through the first part of the ceremony, declaring who was marrying who, then Damen began with his vows.In both Akielos and Vere, marriage was about promises.If they were marriages of convenience, it was usually admitted so. 

That wasn’t the case here, however, and that became immediately apparent when Damen started talking.“Unlike you, I didn’t plan what I was going to say, so don’t make fun of me later.”That got some chuckles from the crowd.“I’m not sure what to say to you, now that I’m standing here, in front of you.All I can think is that you look so beautiful.”Damen paused for a moment.“What I can promise you, Laurent, is that I will love you as long as I’m alive.You are my best friend, you challenge me and I’m constantly trying to find ways to be better for you.You don’t need anyone to take care of you, but I will when you let me.I’ll always give you the space you want and when you come back to me, I’ll welcome you and ask for nothing in return, because I feel so fortunate to even have the opportunity to hold you for a moment.I’m never going to leave you alone, not for a second.You have caught me, every piece.I love you.”A long pause, where everyone was collectively holding their breath.“I think that’s all I want to say.”Everyone laughed again, except Laurent.Laurent was entirely breathless and his eyes were swimming with emotion.Damen hoped for his pride that the tears there wouldn’t spill over.Though, on second thought, it would work wonders for his image.Laurent was probably thinking that exact thing now.

The woman turned the ceremony over to Laurent, who took a moment to look down at their joined hands, and then he spoke, loud and confidently.“There’s not much I can tell you that you don’t already know.You, Damianos, the most insufferable man I’ve ever met, have changed my entire life.I don’t know what I would be without you, but it would not be a man I would be proud of.So…thank you and I love you.”

Then they exchanged rings, Damen fumbling with his because his hands were shaking so much.Laurent was as cool as ever, when he slipped Damen’s on his finger.“And you’re enslaved again,” he murmured.

“So are you,” Damen observed.

“Somehow, I don’t mind.”

“I declare that you two are married.You may kiss, if you wish.” 

Damen jumped on the opportunity.He’d wanted to since the minute he’d seen the red jacket.Laurent titled his head up, winding his arms around Damen’s neck and his body went pliant as he gave into Damen’s lingering kiss.It was more than he usually allowed in public, but it drove the crowd mad.They were clapping, some were even cheering.It wasn’t as refined as Damen imagined, but somehow, he liked it better.

“I want to make love to you,” Damen pleaded against Laurent’s lips.

Laurent chuckled as he pulled away, his eyes nowhere but Damen’s.“It’s a celebration for us, Damen.It would be rude to leave.”

“I don’t care.”

“I do.”Laurent slipped his hand into Damen’s and tugged him to a large table placed in front of all the other ones.Guests were already seating themselves at tables and servants were running around fulfilling orders.Most of the guests were unused to servants and Damen found their reactions to being served hilarious.Laurent sat them down in the center of the table and called for some wine, which arrived before Damen blinked.Laurent handed him one of the glasses and then clinked them together, “To our wondrous union.”

“To my husband,” Damen said, taking a sip.

“How often are you going to call me that?”

“All of the time.”

Laurent considered that and then said, “I’ll allow it.Not often, mind you.”

“I love you.”

“I think that’s enough for one night, don’t you?”

“Give me this one night to shower you with affection.”

Laurent laughed.“Very well.”

Nikandros came and sat beside Damen and Jokaste sat on the side of Laurent.Compliments and well wishes were exchanged, though Nikandros and Jokaste stubbornly ignored each other, and the night was spent with friends and drink.Damen couldn’t get Laurent to dance, but he did wheedle out a promise to dance later.They watched many of Damen’s subjects dance and Laurent and him made lots of rounds around the celebration, exchanging pleasantries.Everyone was surprisingly cordial and by the end of the night, when they’d returned to the room, Damen was still living in the glittering lights and the blue of Laurent’s eyes.

It was obvious to Laurent.“Good night?” he teased, eyes shining.They hadn’t stopped shining.Damen couldn’t remember Laurent’s joy ever being so consistent.

“There’s one thing that would make it better,” Damen said.

Laurent sighed, only playing at reluctance, and stepped into Damen’s arms, his own around Damen’s neck.Damen brought his hands to Laurent’s waist and then Laurent was humming, a soft, drifting melody that was beautiful and easy to dance slowly to. 

“I wish you’d sing more often.”

The music stopped.“No talking.The song stops if I have to talk.”

“I’ve noticed.”

Laurent hummed louder to drown Damen out and moved in closer, so they were basically hugging.It was mostly just swaying now, but Laurent had completely given over to Damen’s strength and bulk to hold him up and his song was directly in Damen’s ear.

Eventually the song trailed off, but they were still swaying.It was unclear if either of them were going to stop, so Damen did, only because he wanted Laurent beneath him, their skin meeting as clothes slipped and slid.He was also a little dizzy, not that he would admit that.

In a quick dip, he picked Laurent up in his arms.For once, Laurent didn’t protest and instead kissed Damen gently, the tug on his hair the only thing giving away his desperation.

“Best night of my life,” Damen murmured into the charged air between them.

“You’re giving that to me, too?”

“If I have anything to say about it, I’ll give you everything.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you,” Damen said, pouring Laurent on to the bed and kissing him into silence.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> Enjoy the new chapter!!!

Something was happening.That much Damen knew when his eyes flew open.He couldn’t see anything, as it was pitch black in the room, but he managed to settle his heart and actually listen.There was a soft rustling, a meow, and then low, distressed moans.Damen hurtled out of the bed, stepping on something warm.A harsh yowl told him it must have been Anais’ tail.Fumbling for the matches they kept on the bedside table, he tried to focus on anything besides the strangled noises coming from the bed.

The candle sputtered to life and Damen was back on the bed, the room only faintly lit, but bright enough that he could see the shapes making up Laurent’s body.Resting a hand lightly on Laurent’s shoulder, he said his name, over and over again, until the noises stopped and Laurent bolted up, his chest heaving.

Damen made sure to give him space.He murmured, “It’s alright, sweetheart.It was a nightmare.Just a nightmare.I’m right here.”It was a mantra; one they were both used to.It wasn’t long before Laurent was leaning into his arms, his sweaty skin sliding against Damen’s skin, his hair against Damen’s lips.

Sometimes Damen would ask what happened, sometimes he wouldn’t.This felt like a particularly bad one so he kept up the mantra, holding Laurent tightly.They’d discovered a long time ago that if he didn’t keep talking, Laurent would sometimes think it was his uncle holding him and he would recoil violently.

Laurent’s breathing slowed and the hands clutching Damen’s arms relaxed from a vise-like grip to an almost normal one.With a short, masochistic laugh, he murmured, “He showed up at our wedding with Nicaise’s head in his hands.There was blood everywhere and…then out of nowhere…well, you know what happened.”

Damen did.In almost every dream, Damen himself died.Once, Laurent had described what happened after and Damen knew he never would again.It was too painful for both of them to contemplate.

“He had to ruin our wedding, too, didn’t he?” Damen murmured.

“No.”A pause, “No.No one could ruin that.”

“Are you feeling okay?”

“No nausea this time,” Laurent sighed, bone-tired.“But, I’m not going to be able to sleep.”

“I’ll stay up with you.”

“Why do you always insist?I’m not going to let you.”

Damen shrugged.“Maybe one day you will.”Lazily kissing the top of Laurent’s head, Damen released him from his grasp and sunk back down onto the bed.Sleep came easier to him after these incidents than he was okay with.Laurent’s nightmares were not something he ever wanted to say he was used to.They were too horrible for that.And yet, he was on his back, eyes closed, and the darkness of sleep was infringing on the corners of his mind.He thought maybe Laurent kissed him on the mouth.

 

Damen woke to the sound of scratching, tiny growls, and laughter.The laughter was Laurent’s.When he heard it, before he even opened his eyes, laughter bubbled up inside him.Something about the noise was infectious.

Groggily, Damen sat up and saw Laurent sprawled out on the floor by the foot of the bed, the laces from one of his open sleeves in hand.He had it dangling in the air and Anais was staring at the thread, unblinking.Laurent didn’t divert his attention from her, but he said, “Wait for it.She leaps.”

Damen crawled down the bed and laid on his stomach, head in his hands, as he watched Anais over the the bed frame.Laurent wriggled the string back and forth and Anais’ eyes followed, as though her eyes and the lace were tied together; one couldn’t move without the other.Slowly, her body began to coil in preparation to spring and a grin broke on Laurent’s face, a manic one full of pure childish joy.

Anais moved fast, grasping for the ends of the string.Her claws caught it and a vicious tug of war began, Anais collapsing on the floor halfway through, allowing Laurent to drag her around the floor with only a few yowls of protest.

Damen found himself laughing; a warm, rich sound.He was unsure what about it struck him as funny, but it did.Something about how Anais moved around the floor.It felt reluctant and yet Damen got the distinct impression she was enjoying herself as much as Laurent was.At his laugh, Laurent looked up at him and whispered a breathless, “Hi.”Damen was relieved to see he looked no worse for wear, besides mild dark circles under his eyes.

“Good morning, husband,” Damen said.

“I think I’m growing on Anais.”

“I think she’s growing on me,” Damen said.He’d wanted to sound resentful, but the words had to travel through his smile and that destroyed any reluctance he’d been hoping for.Even after the rude awakening earlier, there was a glow hanging over the morning, enclosing Laurent and Damen within a space that was utterly their own.It was a sensation Damen felt traces of whenever he was with Laurent, but it was irresistibly strong now.There was no question in his mind that as long as he could see Laurent, everything was going to be alright.More than alright.

In Laurent’s distraction, Anais latched onto his arm and bit down.Laurent started, eyes flicking away from Damen so he could glare down at her.“Damn it,” he murmured through clenched teeth, as he shook Anais off.Flipping open the fabric around his forearm, Laurent examined the damage.He stood and strolled over to Damen, extending his arm.“Look what you did.”

Small red splotches decorated the fine skin and Damen bent his head down to kiss each and every one.“Better?” he said.

“No.It still hurts.”

“Too bad.”

“Not very sympathetic.”

“Your cat.”

“Our cat.”

Damen smiled, letting it slide, and slipped his hands over Laurent’s, his fingers clutching the slender wrists.“Come back to bed.”

“Make me.”

Damen rose to his knees and picked Laurent up by the waist and dragged him over the end of the bed.It was awkward, but it worked.“I forgot you did things like that,” Laurent sighed.

“No you didn’t.”

“Insinuating I like it?”

“Yes.”

Laurent lifted his back from the bed and kissed Damen sweetly.

“You’re being nice.

“I’m in a good mood.”

“Because of me?” Damen asked innocently.

“Fishing is not going to improve it,” Laurent said.Those words carried Damen’s mind to the letters Laurent had given him and he smiled knowingly enough to make Laurent flush.“You’re not going to hang that letter over me, are you?That would be unwise.”

“No.But it reminds me, I have a gift for you, too.I’d meant to tell you sooner, but it slipped my mind.As you probably know, there’s a library here in the palace, a well-stocked one with many stories you’ve never read.They are all in Akielon, but somehow I think you are up to the challenge.Anyway, the gift is two-fold.One, I am the only person in the whole kingdom who is allowed access to the library without express permission; permission that must be sought for every visit.I’ve managed to talk the librarian into allowing you access whenever you wish.A difficult task, considering you are Veretian.Second, there is a separate room in the back, where hundreds of books are piled around, covered in dust.They are there because they’re missing pages, my father banned them, there are alternate editions already in the library, they’re in strange dialects; that sort of thing.Kastor was to have them burned.Not only did I prevent that from happening, but I got you access to that room as well.Now, you must understand that you can’t go into that room without the librarian, as it’s…”

Laurent put a finger to Damen’s lips.

“The rules are important, Laurent.The librarian can take away the access if he…”

“How did you get me access?”

Damen shrugged.“I gave the librarian’s son a position in the palace, spent about an hour convincing the old man you would respect the books, another hour listening to him explain the rules and just how important the books were to him, and then I poured some extra money into the library so he could hire someone to help him take care of the books and find new ones.”

“You sat through an hour long lecture about books for me?”

“I did.”

“That must’ve been painful for you.”

“One of the more painful hours of my life,” Damen admitted.“Apparently, the books are his children.It was a metaphor he carried to insane lengths.It wouldn’t surprise me if his lips have touched every one of them.Needless to say, I was more than a little disturbed.”

“It’s good to have such a devoted librarian.”

“Whatever you say,” Damen smiled.Then softer, “Did I…is that…are you happy?”

The smile spread over Laurent’s face like sunlight spilling into a room as the sun rose.“Completely.Are you?”

“Yes.” 

Very carefully and in a quiet voice, Laurent said, “Anything you want?”

Damen understood the seriousness of this question.Therefore he devoted serious thought to the answer.Right this moment, he had everything he could possibly want.Realizing that, the answer became obvious.“I want to stay right here.All day.With you.”

Laurent narrowed his eyes, tensing slightly.Damen sighed, rolling over so he was on his back, staring up at the canopy.He already knew what Laurent was going to say.There was lots to be done, they couldn’t afford a wasted day in bed.Things were in motion and they were the only barrier preventing the destruction of their kingdom.What made it even worse was that he was right.Laurent had made it very clear days like the one Damen wanted were going to be few and far between.

“Alright,” Laurent said.

Damen jerked his head to the side so he could see Laurent.“Really?”

“It’s only one day.What could go wrong?”

“That sounds like something I’d say,” Damen said.

“It does, doesn’t it?”

“Thank you.”

Laurent nodded and rolled onto his side so their noses were touching.Everything but Laurent’s eyes was blurred out of focus and that was just how Damen liked it.Their breathing warmed the air between them and Damen could feel the anticipation growing.He held out as long as possible, until Laurent’s eyes were firmly on his lips and he was practically panting.Damen leaned in and then a knock carried through the room, stopping his lips just short.

Laurent didn’t move or speak, his eyes questioning.He was giving Damen the choice whether or not to let someone interrupt their day.Damen wanted nothing more than to let them keep knocking until they grew tired and left, but it felt selfish.A direct interruption was much harder to ignore than an imagined one.“Come in,” he sighed, eyes on Laurent’s soft pink lips.

“Oh for…”It was Nikandros.“Warn me next time, would you?”

Laurent laughed gently, the breath tickling Damen.

“Go talk to Pallas, if you’re so traumatized,” Damen said.“He’s seen much worse than you.”Then, reluctantly, Damen propped himself up on an elbow.Laurent did the same, flipping to gaze at Nikandros.

“I don’t…”Nikandros ran a hand over his face.“I don’t even want to know.”

“Is everyone in Akielos so shy?” Laurent asked, the interest real.

“It’s not something any of us are used to,” Damen answered.

“Used to?How does one get used to something like this?” Nikandros asked.“I was walking into a room and then I was…” he waved his hands in Laurent’s and Damen’s general direction, “Assaulted.”

“You grow up in Vere,” Laurent said.“My uncle’s court, to be specific.A common form of entertainment involves sexual displays.The pets and their masters aren’t particularly private either.”

“That’s an understatement,” Damen grumbled.

Nikandros’ face was a study in sheer horror.It would’ve been funny if Damen didn’t know exactly how Nikandros was feeling and that was without truly witnessing the court.Laurent, on the other hand, found it hilarious.He was shaking against Damen, the laughter soundless.In hopes Laurent would shut up, Damen asked, “Was there something in particular you came for?”

“Uh…”There was a long pause as Nikandros shook himself from whatever mental image was rendering him incapacitated.“Yes.Loyse is here and wishes for an audience with Laurent.”

“Your pronunciation of my name is appalling,” Laurent interjected.“Your accent is much too strong.Don’t make the ‘r’ and ’t’ sounds so harsh.Smooth, sensual, Nikandros, that’s the key.”

Nikandros glared at him.“I’m just delivering a message.She seems to be in a minor amount of distress and I’m smart enough to know it’s significant she’s here now.”

Laurent turned his head to look at Damen.Amazingly, Laurent was still giving Damen a choice.He was allowing the possibility of staying in this bed and ignoring Loyse for the time being.It was clear, however, that it was a struggle for him.Desperation was poorly disguised in his eyes.This was something he obviously thought should not be ignored.Damen’s heart warmed at what Laurent was offering him.

“Take her to the throne room.We’ll be there as soon as we can.And make sure to have someone prepare her a room for the night.I won’t have her travel more today.”

Nikandros bowed and turned to head out of the room.“Nikandros,” Laurent said, stopping him.“Tell Jord to come here.I need to speak with him.”

“Exalted,” Nikandros said and then he was gone.

“Think he likes me yet?” Laurent asked, laughter sparkling in his smile.

Damen rolled his eyes and stood to get dressed.Laurent began lacing up his white undershirt, slowly but precisely.“You know,” Damen said, “If you wore a chiton, you’d already be dressed by now.”

“I can’t have you dropping pitchers while discussing matters of state publicly,” Laurent said, pulling on his black boots.“Besides, I’m more comfortable in this.”

Damen flushed lightly and focused intently on putting his pin in place.Laurent laughed quietly and then stood, grabbing a green jacket from a wardrobe.Shrugging it onto his shoulders, he said, “Attend me.”

Damen grabbed one of Laurent’s arms and set to work lacing the white shirt into hiding.“Why do you think Loyse is here?”

“I think we’re going to find out what Guion has been doing all this time,” Laurent replied.“It’s good you’re here.It’s likely I’ll get upset.”

“Lovely.”Damen let go of Laurent’s arm, swiping his fingers briefly across Laurent’s palm, before moving behind him to do up the laces at the back of his neck.“I think you could tie this back,” he said, sweeping away the fine hair so he could see what he was doing.There was enough of it now that most stayed over Laurent’s shoulder.

“You think?”

“I’ll have a servant bring some ties around.”

“Alright.”

Another knock rattled the door and this time Laurent told them to enter.Jord strolled in, his skin slightly darker than Damen remembered.He must have spent long days in the sun with Nikandros.He bowed to both Damen and Laurent and then said, “You sent for me, Your Highness?”

“I did.Who do you think is best to gather my army and begin marching them to Marlas?They’ll need to be stationed in Arles, so keep that in mind.”

Jord considered this, eyebrows furrowed.“Enguerran?”

Laurent waved that away.“He’s busy.”

“Doing what?” Damen asked.

Laurent’s lips drew into a thin line.Damen knew it wasn’t because he didn’t wish to tell, but because he was berating himself for not talking to Damen about it first.“I’m having him and a small company travel into the Vaskian mountains to determine whether or not there’s a child.He knows the dialect better than anyone I know besides myself and we can’t afford to go ourselves right now, but…I thought you would want to know as soon as possible.”

“I would,” Damen smiled.

“That would’ve been important information,” Jord said.

“You would be right.I apologize,” Laurent said, “Any other ideas?”

It was clear Jord did have another idea, but it wasn’t one he was particularly fond of.Reluctantly, he said, “Lazar.He has the experience and the demeanor.And I trust him.I think.”

Laurent nodded thoughtfully.“Good.That will do.”Jord bowed, and began to retreat.Laurent called him back.“And Jord?”

“Yes, Your Highness?”

“Fuck Nikandros already, would you?Aimeric is never coming back and Nikandros is unbearably desperate for you.If it helps, you can consider it an order.”

Color poured into his cheeks, but his eyes didn’t leave Laurent’s.“I’ll fuck him when I like,” he said.“That is none of your business.”It was clear to Damen that Jord hadn’t entirely forgiven Laurent for what had happened to Aimeric and that it was still a sore topic for him.The molten rage was only expounded upon by the guilt Jord still likely felt about covering for Aimeric and his disappearances.Damen grimaced and shot a sympathetic look to Jord.

“Is that how you’d like to talk to me?”

There was a pause, Jord’s eyes hard, and then he nodded firmly.Laurent smiled, a vicious thing, and said, “Very well.I’ll stay out of your personal life.He does know about Aimeric, though, doesn’t he?”

“Yes,” Jord clipped.

“That’s something,” Laurent murmured.“Leave us.”

“Nicely handled,” Damen said, once the door was closed.“I didn’t realize you had such interest in my friend’s sexual practices.”

“I’d prefer if he could handle being in a room with both of us.Fucking Jord would help as a short-term solution.”

“I think he loved Aimeric, you know,” Damen said, softly.Laurent glanced up at him with a sigh.There was acknowledgement in his eyes and a recognition that he would’ve risked that much for Damen, if that had been their position.But it hadn’t been, and there was something there Laurent still couldn’t quite forgive.Damen suspected it had a lot do with Laurent’s inability to trust.Once lost, it was, perhaps, impossible to regain.

“You forgot the laces on my left arm,” Laurent said.

Damen took care of them.Then Laurent slipped his fingers in between Damen’s and led them from the room.

A mild amount of shock hit Damen when Laurent didn’t release his hand as they were walking throughout the palace.Realistically, he knew they were now married, but he still hadn’t expected it of Laurent.It was hard to tell what the people they passed were thinking, although it was clear that they noticed.

“What happened to respect?” Damen asked quietly.

“There’s not enough time for that anymore.The better route now is to act doting and affectionate.If I was willing to go a step further and act subservient, it would probably work wonders, but I’m not.However you look at it, I’m less of a threat this way.”

“I’m not sure it’s happening like that,” Damen responded furtively, sneaking glances at those they passed.

“Then they would be smarter than I’m giving them credit for.”

Guards posted at the doors to the throne room pushed them in when Laurent and Damen arrived.Loyse was seated against a wall, her hands clasped tightly in her lap.When she saw the doors open, she sprung up immediately, bowing low.

Laurent waved the bow away and then pulled a guard in from outside.“Why didn’t you get the lady a chair?” he asked in a low voice.He said it as though he had a very good idea why the guard hadn’t.Damen didn’t want his guard and Laurent engaging in a fight about Veretians, one that his guard would inevitably and illustriously lose, so he stepped in.

“Would you please go get her one now?She’s weary from her travels.”The guard shot Damen a grateful glance and then bowed, murmuring a soft ‘Exalted’. 

“Why won’t you let me intimidate your guards?”

“I thought you were going for doting and affectionate?”

Laurent sneered at him and then turned to Loyse, his expression masterfully switching into a pleasant, polite smile.“Can we get you anything?Something to eat, perhaps?”

“I would appreciate that.Perhaps you can ask when my chair comes,” Loyse answered with some amusement.

“I think I will,” Laurent said.“Would you prefer to wait or start our conversation now?”

“This isn’t quite the Laurent I remembered.”

A smile softened Laurent’s face, no longer polite, but honest.“You will forever have my gratitude for what you did, Loyse.But, if you would prefer…”

“No,” Loyse laughed, “I like this version much better, I think.”She turned to Damen and bowed to him as well.“It is good to see you, Your Highness.”

“And you.I never got to thank you for…”

Loyse shook her head with a smile.“Laurent has thanked me more than enough.I suppose there’s no reason we shouldn’t start now,” she sighed.“Guion is leading a rebellion against you.I don’t know much, but I do know he’s garnered the assistance of one of my sons in planning the logistics.We both know he’s not smart enough to go up against you alone.He’s also working with someone in Akielos.I do not know who, but it’s someone powerful and with a significant amount of money.I came to warn you that there will likely be assassination attempts on both of you and that they’re working tirelessly to create an army that can match yours, not in skill, but in numbers.”

Laurent exhaled sharply through his teeth and Damen turned away, running a hand through his hair, mussing it.This is exactly what they didn’t need.

Laurent said, “There’s something you want.”

Loyse nodded.“My sons,” she whispered.“I don’t want to lose anymore, not after I lost Aimeric.I…I understand if my eldest, Firmin, cannot be forgiven, but my other sons are not involved, though my husband may sway them.Please, promise me you won’t hurt them when this is all over.”

“You’re so sure I’ll win?” Laurent asked.

“Of course.You beat your uncle and you have got King Damianos at your side.I heard that he killed almost half of the Regent’s army at Fortaine single-handedly.”

“As did I,” Laurent smiled.It was a largely empty smile.Damen could tell he was far away, deep in his thoughts.Though, he did manage to sweep a hand up into Damen’s hair while he was thinking and straighten out the mess Damen had created.

At that moment, the guard entered with a chair.Laurent glared at him, distracted from his thoughts, and was about to say something truly scathing, but Damen hurried over before he could and accepted the chair.He murmured something about food and then told the guard to leave and quickly.The guard did.

Loyse sat down gratefully, fussing with her skirts, until the silence made her uncomfortable.“I also wanted to apologize for asking you to keep that worthless vermin alive.I didn’t think he had the gall to do something like this and I wanted my sons to still have a father.”

“Perfectly understandable,” Damen murmured, when Laurent didn’t say anything.

The silence continued and Loyse struck up a half-hearted conversation about the weather with Damen, who did his best to keep it entertaining.Loyse had come here at risk to herself.She didn’t deserve to be uncomfortable.

The food arrived after a conversation about winter in Akielos.To Loyse’s credit, she pretended to be fascinated.Laurent had barely moved in all that time and he certainly hadn’t said a word.Damen ushered the guard to Loyse and she accepted a small platter of food gratefully, setting it on her lap.The guard retreated, acting as if the room was on fire.The tension was apparently palpable.

Damen watched Loyse pick at the food.She brought her eyes to Damen’s as she ate and Damen smiled.This woman was a little rough around the edges and Damen liked it.As his respect for her grew, so did his general disdain toward Laurent and his silence.It wasn’t wise to interrupt him, but Damen knew if anyone could do it without being gutted, it was him.

Slipping a hand over Laurent’s elbow, he murmured, “Laurent.”

Blue eyes focused onto Damen’s.It was similar to him waking from sleep and finding Damen next to him, except that his eyes narrowed and a frown deepened the corners of his mouth, instead of the bright smile that usually accompanied morning.

“We have a guest,” Damen continued.Laurent opened his mouth but no words came out.His eyes traveled to Loyse and it was when they did that Damen noticed the barely controlled rage.

“Yes, I’m sorry,” Laurent said, facing Loyse.“There’s no need to apologize, Loyse.Damen is correct, of course.Would you allow him to escort you to your room?I insist you stay and recover from your travels.” 

Loyse stood, placing the half-empty platter on the chair, and bowed to Laurent.She seemed unfazed in the face of such abrupt turns in the conversation.Damen offered her his arm and they departed from the throne room, leaving Laurent alone.

“Don’t let anyone enter,” Damen said to the guards as he passed by.

As they strolled through sunlight-bathed halls, Loyse said, “I am truly sorry for the terrible news.I wish it wasn’t this way.”

“It’s not unexpected.You’ve given us an advantage we wouldn’t have had without you.Yet again, I find I’m deeply in your debt.Anything you need, I will be happy to provide.”

“I don’t want to…” she trailed off.

“What is it?” Damen asked.

“Could I stay here indefinitely?I have nowhere else to go and if I returned home, I’d likely be killed.His Highness is my King, so I felt I had to do what I could, but I’d prefer not to die because of it.”

Damen smiled.This was an easy thing to provide and it made him feel better about the whole situation.It wasn’t just Laurent who disliked owing people things.“Of course,” he said.“Stay as long as you’d like.My home is your home.”

“You are kind.I’m glad His Highness found you and I’m glad I spoke for you.”She then peered around the halls they were walking through and she said, “Ios is beautiful.I never knew.”

“I’m pleased you think so.The palace is yours to explore.If you ever find yourself in need of a guide, find me.I’d be happy to show you around.”

Loyse smiled warmly, her hand clasping Damen’s bicep just a little tighter.

They had reached her room.Damen swung open the door and led her inside.“Will this do?” he asked.It wasn’t the finest they had to offer, but Loyse’s expression lit up and she nodded. 

“I love all the natural light,” she whispered.“This will do nicely.”

“I will leave you then.Remember…”

“Yes, yes,” she chuckled.“Anything at all.”

Damen grinned and departed.At a loss for something better to do, Damen made his way back to the throne room and Laurent.Damen was sure Laurent could withstand his presence.It wasn’t a scenario altogether foreign to either of them. 

The guards said nothing and gave him entrance.Laurent was sitting in the chair Loyse had vacated.The platter and the remainder of the food Loyse hadn’t eaten were scattered across the floor in a large arc. 

“Your hands were tied, Laurent,” Damen said softly.

“They wouldn’t have been if I were my uncle.” 

“Oh, yes, the child abuser who killed his own brother,” Damen whispered, pain gripping his heart.Simply the notion that Laurent still let his uncle have this much power over him, even in death, made Damen want to break something.Laurent’s eyes shot up to Damen’s, impossible to read.They stared and stared, bodies tense, until Damen moved and knelt down in front of Laurent.“Perhaps that was harsh, but you can’t blame yourself for this.There was nothing else you could’ve done.Besides, we both know you can beat Guion.”

“Yes.It’s the fact that I have to that I don’t like.”The words were clipped.

“It is the way it is.We have to win.That’s all you should be worried about.”

“He has money, he has influence, he has friends in my court.Anybody would’ve been better than him, Damen.Anybody.”There was a short pause, then a flurry of words, “I have to return to Arles and lock things down.In the meantime, I need you to gather half the Akielon army and march to Marlas, meet Lazar there.Leave the other half with Jokaste.She will be in charge of Ios while you are gone.Make sure to give Jokaste Anais as well.I’ll be traveling light and someone should look after her.Oh, and…”

“Stop,” Damen ordered.Laurent did.“He’s gathering an army, yes?That takes time, especially when the best you can do are angry people with very little battle training.That means we have time to make our move.I would prefer not to be separated from you, to begin with.

“Let’s stay where we are and garner the support we can.Hold court, make ourselves seen, show our kingdoms who we are and what we can do.Host games.We need to make a show of strength, Laurent.We need to show Guion we are not scared of him and his threats.Running off to Arles isn’t going to help anything.”

“I could lose control there,” Laurent murmured.

“So you lose control.I know you can get it back.”

The idea seemed to horrify Laurent, but he didn’t continue his list of insane suggestions.Damen reached for Laurent and held his face in his hands.That seemed to have a calming effect and Laurent’s focus turned inward, his thoughts reworking and considering what Damen had said.“Alright,” he whispered.“You begin planning games.Not here, though.At Marlas.And before we leave we’ll…”

“What is your obsession with Marlas about?” Damen interjected.

“It’s going to be the capital of our kingdom.It would be wise to make the move now, solidify our position, make it clear what we intend to do.We’ll need a name, by the way, for our kingdom.Start thinking on that.”

“But…” Damen was scurrying to keep up.“Why Marlas?”

“It’s a mix of Akielon and Veretian architecture, making it an ideal symbol of what we are trying to achieve.It is also the place where our cultures have come in contact the most.It only makes sense.”

“I don’t care if it makes sense.I care if it will make you uncomfortable.”

Laurent’s eyebrows crinkled, confused, and then in a whoosh of breath, “Oh…Auguste.”

Damen waited, staring pointedly.

“I’ll be fine.”

Damen sighed and stroked Laurent’s cheekbones under his thumbs.“I’m not convinced.Besides, we’re not ready to move capitals.There is still much that has to be done before…”

“Then I suggest we work fast.”

Damen nodded.“I’m with you.Always.”Then he leaned in and kissed Laurent.It was a moment before Laurent kissed him back, as he was painfully aware both he and Damen had better things to do.Sensing this, Damen broke away and whispered, “Just promise me you won’t get too wrapped up in this.Relax occasionally or you’ll drive both of us insane.”Damen kissed him again, this time in an attempt to persuade.Laurent sighed, stringing his fingers into Damen’s hair, and nodded.

“You know what would help?” Damen asked.

“What?”Laurent’s tone was weightless and indulging.

“If we took a really long bath and the rest of the day off.I’ll allow you to talk and think, but nothing more.And…” he stopped, knowing his next idea would be unpopular.

“Yes?”

“If we utilized Jokaste.”

“No.”

“She’s intelligent and capable and well-loved by many of my people.There’s a lot she could do for us.”

“I can’t give this to you, Damen.I can’t trust her with this.”

“You were about to entrust her with Ios and Anais,” Damen reminded him.

“I…I did say that, didn’t I?I was talking nonsense, though, remember?”

“I’m not sure you’re capable of talking nonsense.”

Laurent shut his eyes and leaned back into the chair bonelessly.It was easy to see now the effects of the nightmare.Every aspect of Laurent’s being was on its last legs.He was barely functioning.

“We can talk about this tomorrow,” Damen decided.“Let’s go take that bath and then go to bed.You need sleep.”

“It’s early afternoon.”

“And I don’t care.”He really didn’t.Damen could see the future unfolding before his eyes and much of it involved a strained Laurent, constantly on edge, barely talking to anyone that cared about him.No nights would be devoted to each other and every conversation would be about saving their kingdom.It was not a future Damen was fond of and so, if nothing else, he wanted tonight.He’d try and make sure Laurent didn’t forget what he was fighting for, but if he did, Damen would at least be able to look back on tonight and remember for him.There was only so much he could ask of Laurent in one day, but he had to ask for this.“Give me tonight,” he said.“That’s all I ask.”

A faint smile was on Laurent’s face.“Even my brother would be amazed at what you can make me do.How are we to spend your night?”

“Bath first.Then we get drunk, preferably on a rooftop and preferably with Nikandros and Jord and Jokaste.And then we go to bed and you actually sleep.”

That earned Damen a laugh.“Sounds distinctly unpleasant.The things I do for you.”

“How is that unpleasant?”

“Nikandros, Jord, and Jokaste?”

“They’re your friends.”

Laurent laughed even harder.“Ah, my lover, the optimist.”

“It’s how they feel about you,” Damen shrugged, but his voice was serious.Laurent caught the tone and a crease appeared in his forehead as he struggled with the idea.Damen could hear the endless string of comebacks flashing through Laurent’s eyes, but he said none of them.Instead, he rested his chin on top of Damen’s head; hiding his face.

“Very well,” he whispered, his chin digging into Damen’s skull.

“Can you remove your chin from my head?It hurts and I’d like to stand.”

Laurent pressed his chin into Damen’s skull even harder, before he pulled away.Damen stood and so did Laurent, who stepped into Damen and rested his head over Damen’s heart.He beat out the rhythm on the other side of his chest with two fingers.Whether or not Laurent intended it to be so, it was a cool reminder of their mortality and Damen shivered.“Are you scared?” Laurent asked.

Damen’s heart rate picked up and so did Laurent’s fingers.“Terrified,” he admitted.“You?”

“No,” Laurent said, arrogance exuding from the word.His tapping fingers slowed.“But it’s good one of us is.”


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got nothing interesting to say this time around. I love you all. Thank you.  
> Please enjoy :)  
> <333

They were all on a low rooftop, glasses in hand, legs dangling off the edge, with two pitchers of wine, one empty, the other half-full.Damen had struggled not only with getting the glasses and pitchers up here, but getting Jokaste, Nikandros, and Jord up as well.

Nikandros hadn’t protested until Damen mentioned Jokaste and then he’d growled and postured.But there was something inherently enticing and whimsical about drinking with Damen on a rooftop, no matter who else was there, and so he had agreed, with two conditions: that Jord came and that he could ignore Jokaste.Damen had allowed it, hoping the alcohol would loosen Nikandros’ tongue as well as his determination.It was possible that it could turn ugly, but Jokaste was more than capable of handling herself.

Jord, on the other hand, had been unsure.His loyalty to Laurent was absolute and even though Damen had assured him Laurent didn’t mind in the slightest, Jord had had a very difficult time wrapping his head around the idea of drinking with his king.So, Damen had brought up Nikandros.Jord had shot him a withering glance, verified Laurent was actually alright with it, and then had grudgingly agreed.

In truth, Jokaste had been easy to convince.It had sounded fun to her.The trouble had come when Damen had asked her not to provoke anyone purposefully.She had proceeded to argue that Laurent would not be similarly holding his tongue, but Damen had promised Laurent would behave, that the whole goal of the evening was to forget responsibilities and forge friendships.Jokaste had smiled at that, gripping Damen’s hand in hers for a moment, as though Damen were a happily oblivious child. 

Damen had wanted to knock all of their heads together.It wasn’t that he expected or needed them to get along, but he thought that possibly they could and would even enjoy it.

So here they were, and Damen, so far, had been right.Jokaste was in the middle, Jord and Damen on either side and they were discussing Jord’s family.

“I thought your sister was dead,” Laurent said.Damen elbowed him hard in the side.Too hard.It earned him an even sharper jab back and a furious glare that was as funny as it was intense.Damen broke into laughter, which Laurent mirrored a moment later.

Jord sighed.“She is.I have another.And if you’re going to ask about my life, you could at least listen.”

Damen knew he was right, but he couldn’t seem to stop smiling and Laurent was in his arms and he was smiling too and it felt warm and right on the rooftop, balmy in the still night.

“Your sister, the one who is alive, is practicing with a sword, right?I think you told me that once,” Nikandros encouraged.Damen glanced over at the words, observing the pair in silence.Jord and Nikandros were practically in each other’s laps, but that was as far as their contact went.Despite the lack of physical contact, it was obvious how much they cared for each other.Nikandros’ eyes were intent on Jord’s, even though he’d clearly heard the story before, and he was smiling reassuringly, eyes bright.Though, it was likely the latter was because of the wine.

Jord nodded, shooting a smile at Nikandros.“She’s actually quite good.My father absolutely hates it.Woman are not supposed to run around with swords, they’re supposed to entertain and look beautiful…blah blah blah.She’s happiest when she’s sweating and that makes me happy.”

“I’ve always wanted to learn,” Jokaste sighed, staring out at the city below them.“Sometimes, I think about how powerful I’d be, but it was never meant to be.It doesn’t work with the image I’ve cultivated.If I could wield a sword, I’d look like a threat and I can’t imagine I’d be alive for much longer.At least I look lovely in dresses.”

“You’re already plenty of a threat,” Nikandros grumbled.His eyes almost met hers.That wasn’t quite what Damen had been hoping for, but it was something.

“I can’t argue,” Laurent said, extending his glass to Nikandros over all of them.Nikandros clicked his glass against Laurent’s and saluted with his other hand.

“How kind,” Jokaste said.Damen almost laughed, but in the swirl of hazy thoughts, he thought maybe she was being serious.He didn’t want to be impolite.

“Oh, stop,” Damen said.“What’s she going to do?Jokaste wants the same thing all of you want.A family.And I think, if we all got along, we’d make an excellent family.”

“Yes,” Nikandros said, “Imagine the meals.”

“We could instate family sword fights,” Laurent said, “We’d need them.I suppose I’m alright with that.I’d beat all of you.”

“Not me,” Damen chimed in.

Laurent grumbled something into Damen’s shoulder and everyone laughed.Then it was quiet, all of them looking out into the vast expanse of houses and land in front of them.This was his kingdom and never had Damen felt more sure that it was his and no one else’s.Laurent was leaning into him easily, a light smile on his face and his hair windswept.Jokaste was leaning up against Laurent and he wasn’t protesting; and Nikandros and Jord were only inches away from her, leaning against each other.It felt right and real and Damen wanted to stay here for the rest of his life.

Then, Laurent said, suddenly, “And you don’t look as lovely in a dress as I do, Jokaste.”Everyone laughed.They were the perfect words for the perfect moment.

Until Nikandros said, “What if we lose all of this?” sweeping a hand out over the kingdom beyond and then across themselves.His eyes landed on Damen’s and every thought that Damen had been forcibly pushing from his mind all night, flooded in.Jord reached up and grasped Nikandros’ hand, bringing it back down to their laps and murmuring something in his ear.Damen only caught a couple of words, but the intent was clear.Shut up.Jokaste frowned slightly and Laurent let out an audible sigh, as though the same thing was happening to him that was happening to Damen.

No one said a comforting word, because no one was willing to promise it would all be okay.Any promise would be a lie and they were all painfully aware of it.

“We could just capture all of Guion’s sons and threaten to kill them,” Laurent said, bitterly.

“But…Loyse,” Damen said.It took a minute to pull her name from his mind.

Laurent nodded dejectedly. “Yes, Loyse.She’s the reason Guion isn’t dead in the first place.I think it’s time we ignore her wishes and do what I want, because we’ll actually survive that way.Nobody said I had to owe her for telling me about her traitor husband.”

Damen sighed.“Thanks for this, Nik.”

“Sorry,” Nikandros said, his head hanging low.Jord shot Damen a murderous look and Damen looked right back.

Then Damen turned back to Laurent.“You know as well as I do that’s not something you’re going to do.”

“Why wouldn’t I?Don’t you want to survive?I must say, I’m rather fond of the idea.Though, I suppose, if you want to die, I’ll be happy to die with you.”

“So dramatic,” Jokaste said.

“Well if you’re so smart, Jokaste, why don’t you come up with something better?You’ll have to be careful not to offend my husband’s delicate sensibilities.I wish you all the luck in the world.”

Damen smiled at the word husband leaving Laurent’s mouth.It was clearly not the right response, because now, not only was Jord glaring at him, but Laurent was too.This was not how he had wanted the night to end.That much he knew.

And now Jokaste was frowning at Laurent.“I could, you know.If you let me.I want to help, Laurent, because the only way my son is going to be king of anything one day is if you two lovesick idiots keep the damn kingdom safe.Although,” she continued, softer, “I must admit, I can’t come up with anything now.My thoughts are muddled.”

“All of our thoughts are,” Damen grumbled.“Let’s just…stop.”

“That will make it go away,” Laurent grumbled.

“I’m not trying to make it go away.All I’m trying to do is have one fucking night with the people I care about, so tomorrow, when everything is awful again, I’ll know what I’m fighting for and why I’m alright with everything being awful,” Damen said.

“He’s swearing.I’d listen,” Nikandros said.

Laurent huffed and stood, his legs wobbling a little.On instinct, Damen shot out a hand to steady him so that he wouldn’t fall off the roof.The touch was unwelcome, however, and Damen instantly retracted his hand with a sigh.Laurent walked off across the roof and sat back down just out of earshot. 

“Sorry,” Nikandros said again, more miserable than the first time.

Damen waved the apology away.Then, he put his head on Jokaste’s shoulder and sighed, breathing in her scent, the soft flowers still barely noticeable under the smell of wine.Jokaste brought her hand up and brushed it through Damen’s curls.Nikandros and Jord moved closer, trying to comfort with their presence.Jord was no longer glaring.His eyes were sad and distant.

“You know what I think?” Jokaste murmured.

Silence.

“I think the stars are beautiful tonight.”

Damen and Nikandros and Jord all looked up and Damen could feel his insides still, his heartbeat returning to normal, his head pleasantly emptying and filling with easy sluggishness.“They are,” Jord breathed.

“I think you’re all drunk,” Nikandros said.

Silence reigned for a moment and then Jord started laughing softly.Damen could feel Jokaste’s shoulder shaking and then her bell-like laugh joined Jord’s deeper one.It didn’t take long before they were all laughing and Damen wished Laurent was still here, laughing with them.

Jokaste jiggled her shoulder underneath Damen’s head.“Go get him,” she murmured, her hot wine breath very close to his ear. 

“I can’t convince him to do anything right now,” Damen sighed.“I can’t think.”

“Neither can he, I promise.It’s likely scaring him,” she murmured.“It’s scaring me.”

Damen stood, feet unsure.He steadied himself with the help of Jokaste, then wandered towards Laurent, crashing down clumsily beside him.He tried to leave a couple of inches between them, but now that he was sitting, his legs almost touching Laurent’s, he realized he’d missed abysmally.He wasn’t going to correct it, though.It was simply too much work.

He didn’t say anything, just sat and waited.Not that he knew what he was waiting for.Laurent could probably ignore him for the rest of the night.There was a burst of laughter behind them.Damen turned to look and saw Jokaste and Nikandros sharing a joke.Despite all that was happening, Damen smiled.He knew they would find common ground eventually.A pang shattered through his chest as he realized he wanted to be with them.

“Go,” Laurent said.“I’m fine.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Damen sighed. _Not without you_.

Laurent took a deep breath, then leaned back, his head falling into Damen’s lap.“I’m sorry,” he whispered.“I ruined this.”

“Only a bit,” Damen replied.

“I lied.”

“What?”

“I’m more scared than I’ve ever been.It’s not even that Guion is a significant threat, because he isn’t. Neither he nor his son is anywhere near as capable as my uncle, but…I have more to lose than ever before.I have weaknesses and they’re publicly known and I can’t stop obsessing about everything that could go wrong; who I could lose.There will be battles and my father and brother are perfect examples of what can happen in war.I hate this.I think I’m going insane.”

Damen laughed softly.“I think I am, too.”

Laurent smile and kissed Damen’s thigh.“My head feels as heavy as a rock.”

“Perfectly normal.”

A long pause.“I love you,” Laurent murmured.“That’s worth this feeling, you know.”

Damen bent over, making himself dizzy, and kissed Laurent sloppily.Neither one of them minded.Laurent’s hand came up and clenched the back of Damen’s neck tightly, keeping him close.Damen pulled away, but only far enough so that Laurent’s blue eyes weren’t blurry.“You are my everything,” he whispered.Their lips found each other’s again without conscious thought.

“Why don’t you two come join us?” Nikandros shouted, “And stop being disgusting.”

“You didn’t have to watch,” Damen shouted back.

There was a burst of laughter from Jokaste and Damen smiled as he pecked Laurent on the lips once more.They attempted to help each other up, but that seemed to make it harder and it took longer than it should have to rejoin their friends and sit down. 

“Much better,” Jokaste said.Nikandros and Jord nodded.All eyes were bright again and it wasn’t long before they were back to jovially making fun of each other, as though nothing had happened. 

 

The next morning, Laurent and Damen were woken by a knock on the door.Their limbs were entangled, Laurent’s hair in Damen’s mouth, and his arm numb, but Laurent called them in, nonetheless.He didn’t even lift his mouth from Damen’s shoulder when the guard came in, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword.Damen at least managed to make eye contact with him.

The guard flushed lightly, but that was the only sign he was uncomfortable.“Exalted,” he said, “Another child has gone missing and…and we have yet to find the first.”

Damen had forgotten about Alexis in the rush of the wedding and the discovery that Guion was working against them.But now that he remembered, he also remembered that he’d entrusted his guard with this.They had been told to find the child before he returned from the summer palace and, apparently, they hadn’t.And now, another was gone.

The news also captured Laurent’s attention.The warmth of his breath deserted Damen’s shoulder and he said, “Are the disappearances connected?”

The guard shuffled his feet.“It is…unclear, Your Highness.There are some similarities, but nothing definitive.”

“Put Nikandros in charge,” Damen grumbled, falling back into the sheets.“And tell the damn guard to do their job so I don’t have to.”

The guard bowed, but was stopped by Laurent’s voice.“No,” Laurent said.“Leave it to us.”

“Your Highness, I…”His eyes shot to Damen’s.Damen pulled Laurent back down into the bed next to him.

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that if we are the ones to bring their children back to their mothers, our popularity will spike considerably.It’s an opportunity, Damen, and I’d like to take it.”

“Do as he says,” Damen said to the guard.The guard departed with another bow.“Now, tell me how we’re going to find two missing children.”

Laurent shrugged.“Your guard has been unable to find them.That tells me this will not be straightforward, but I’m willing to use methods your guard would never use.I think it’s time we visited a tavern.”

“Great idea.Let’s get stabbed.”

“We’ll have to disguise ourselves better, I admit.”

“I don’t…”

“There are people who know where the children are, I can promise you that.But, they are not people your guard would get any information out of.They are the beaten and the downtrodden who spend all day drinking and complaining to anyone who they think is like them.”

“But we aren’t,” Damen said.

“No.Luckily, there are other things that get them talking.Besides the drink, obviously.”

“What?”

“Money, threats, and hope.Most of these people aren’t brave.Make them more scared of you than they are of anyone else and they’ll tell you anything.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Of course you don’t,” Laurent smiled.“You don’t have to come.”

“But…”

“Yes, I know,” Laurent said, patting his thigh.“You’re worried I’ll do something stupid and get hurt, so you aren’t going to let me go alone.It is unfortunate, I admit, but I’m going to do it either way.”Laurent’s eyes were shining and happy.He’d found something concrete to do, something that made sense and that would help their situation.There was no talking him out of this.Damen sighed and nodded, dragging himself from the bed.

“When’s the best time to go to unsavory taverns?” Damen asked.He couldn’t claim to have ever been to one.

“Night,” Laurent said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.“Easier to eavesdrop, easier to be anonymous.Harder to get people alone to talk, as everyone is suspicious at night, but I’m persuasive.In the meantime, go plan your games.I’m going to go properly apologize to Loyse, see if there’s anything I can do, then I’m going to try and figure out which Akielon lord Guion has teamed with.I’ll meet you back here as the sun is setting.”

Damen crinkled his nose and heaved Laurent off the bed and into his arms.“That’s quite a long time apart.”

Laurent kissed Damen’s shoulder.“I’m sure you can handle it.”

“Yes, but I don’t want to.”

“Don’t be a child,” Laurent shot back, but Damen could see in his eyes that he felt similar.It took the sting off the comment. 

There was another knock on the door.

“What now?” Damen groaned, letting his head fall into the crook of Laurent’s shoulder.Laurent shouted for them to enter as he stroked Damen’s hair reverently.

It was Nikandros.Damen could see the curl of his mouth, but he didn’t say anything this time, which was impressive, because neither one of them was dressed.Damen tried to communicate how sorry he was with his eyes.All Nikandros did was sigh.

“Well,” Laurent said, “I never intended for you to see me like this.Thank goodness we’re family.”

Nikandros rolled his eyes and Laurent laughed, grabbing a sheet from the bed and wrapping it around himself.Damen thoughts traveled back to last night and he thought, perhaps, Laurent wasn’t wrong about the dress.He certainly looked good in the white sheet.

It was difficult to read Nikandros’ face, Damen was finding, which was strange.There was anger there and worry, but also happiness.It was a very odd combination and Damen asked a question with a look.

“I think our dear friend got a handful of Jord’s cock last night,” Laurent said.

Nikandros sighed again.“I like you better drunk,” he said.

“It’s mutual.”

“What is it?” Damen asked.

“I’ve been told that you’re going to search for the missing children yourselves.I came to tell you that you’re completely insane and I won’t let you.That’s an incredibly good way to get murdered and leave Akielos without a king.”He said all of it with a sardonic smile and Damen grimaced.

“Inept,” Laurent said.

“My guard is not inept,” Damen answered, but he silently thought he’d have to have a private conversation with that guard.Though, they hadn’t explicitly told him not to tell anyone, so perhaps it was their fault.

“Not inept,” Nikandros agreed.“At least take Jord and I along.”

Laurent shook his head.“It wouldn’t work.We’ll be in disguise and a group of four is too noticeable.”

“Listen to me, Damen, please.He is going to get you killed.”

“We’ll die holding hands.At least, that way, it will be romantic,” Laurent said.

“Can we really not take them with us?” Damen asked.

Laurent shrugged.“It would make it considerably more dangerous.If you’d prefer it, though, I’d be willing.It’d make the game harder to play and I do love a challenge.”

“Why him, Damen?” Nikandros asked.

Damen took a deep breath and shut both Laurent and Nikandros out.They continued to exchange jabs and it wasn’t helping Damen think.The decision wasn’t whether to do it or not, that had already been decided, but whether or not to take Jord and Nikandros with them.The protection was far from a terrible idea, but Laurent also had a point.There didn’t seem to be a good answer.There never was in kingship.

Finally, he said, “We’ll take Jord and Nikandros with us.”It felt right.Something told Damen they were going to need both of them before the end of the evening and Damen had a habit of listening to his instincts.

A smile spread on Nikandros’ face and he said, “That’s better than nothing.I’ll take it.”

“Come here when the sun begins to set, then,” Laurent said.Nikandros bowed and left.

“Entirely idiotic of you, lover.”

“You don’t seem to mind.”

“There’s not enough at risk for me to worry about it.Besides, I have some excellent ideas for disguises.The more the merrier.”

“Do not put Nikandros in a dress.He will not thank you for it.”

“I would never,” Laurent said, feigning shock.Damen stared at him.“I won’t.He couldn’t pull off being a woman, anyway.He doesn’t have the proper facial structure.”

Damen pinned his chiton and said, “I’m not sure this is the kind of thing we can do anymore.We’re not heroes, Laurent.We’re kings.This is a job we would normally give to someone else.Don’t be surprised if it doesn’t work.”

Smiling, Laurent said, “But who doesn’t want a king who is also a hero?”

 

Damen found Nikandros and Jord and his advisors and they set to planning games at Marlas.  The key was to find an easy way to proceed so that everything was ready quickly, because Damen wasn’t sure when the games could actually be held.  Laurent and Damen would have to declare Vere and Akielos as one and deal with the repercussions of that before anything could happen at Marlas.

It took a large part of the day and then Damen spent the rest of it, before the sun set, holding court.There was another missing child; a discovery that made Damen concerned about their safety of their mission tonight and it made him much more confident that the disappearances were related.It seemed unlikely this could be a coincidence.He was grateful he’d asked Jord and Nikandros to come.This was too big to do alone.All he could do was reassure the new parents that the investigation was ongoing and that they shouldn’t lose hope.That was not the answer he wanted to give.Maybe Laurent was right.Maybe he could be a king and a hero.

He walked back to his rooms when he was done and found that Jord and Nikandros were already there.Laurent hadn’t yet returned, however.

Jord stood when he saw Damen and bowed.Damen said, “There’s no need for that, Jord.You are my friend and my friends don’t bow to me.”Damen then gestured to Nikandros as an example, who was still sitting, watching the exchange.Damen didn’t mention that it had been a struggle for Nikandros in the beginning as well.

Jord ran a hand down the back of his neck, “I…I wanted to thank you for last night.It wasn’t as…uncomfortable as I thought it would be.You are a good friend.”The last words appeared to be difficult for him, but he smiled genuinely afterward and Nikandros reached a hand out and slipped his fingers into Jord’s.It calmed him further.

“What exactly are we doing tonight?” Jord asked.A small glance at Nikandros, “He wouldn’t tell me.”

“We’re going out drinking.”

“Again?”

“Well…” Nikandros shook his head.

Damen ignored him.He wasn’t going to lie to Jord.“We’re searching for the missing children.Laurent has a plan.I don’t know the full extent of it, but it involves disguises and a visit to a tavern in the poorer sections of the city.”

“That is a shit idea.”

Nikandros sighed and his eyes said _I told you so_.

“Take it up with Laurent,” Damen said.“I’m not going to argue for it.I generally agree with you, to be honest.”

“No one is arguing with me,” Laurent said as he strolled in, his arms laden with clothing.He tossed Jord a piece of the pile.“Damen won’t let me go alone, Nikandros won’t let Damen go alone, and you, Jord, won’t let any of us go alone.And, unfortunately, I’m set on going.”

“I prefer it when you don’t act the age you are,” Jord said.Laurent stopped moving at that.Silence pervaded the room and Damen made himself ready to intervene.But, after a moment, Laurent said nothing and handed Damen his disguise.

“Everyone get into these.”As he said the words, he began to work on the laces of his jacket, as though this were perfectly normal behavior from him.Damen shrugged and unpinned his chiton, letting it drop.He gathered up the fabric of yet another chiton, one whose fabric was much less fine, an off-white, and ragged in places.It was unclear to him how this would properly disguise any of them—besides helping them fit in—but he didn’t say anything.It turned out he didn’t need to.

“Everyone in this damn city knows what Damen looks like,” Jord grumbled.“A dirty chiton is not going to help that.I would like to restate my opinion that this is a shit idea.”

“Noted,” Laurent said, “And I don’t care.Besides, there’s more.Jokaste should be here soon.”

“Jokaste?” Nikandros said, his head shooting up.He clearly hadn’t resolved his feelings about how well they’d been getting along the night before.Damen smiled and Nikandros grimaced back at him and mouthed _fuck you_.That made Damen smile more.The longer he spent with Nikandros, the more they became something similar to the way they’d been as children.The fact that Damen was his king was slowly losing its luster and Damen wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Damen,” Laurent said, “Did you have the servants fetch ties?”

Damen nodded and walked to his nightstand, opening a drawer at the top, and grabbed a long, thin piece of leather.Laurent ran his fingers through his hair, gathering it at the back of his head and then spun it into a knot.Damen moved behind him and jerked the leather around until the knot felt as though it would stay in place, and tied the leather hard.Jiggling his head slightly, Laurent nodded.Fine pieces of his hair dangled in front of his face, but most had managed to fit in the bun.All Damen registered was that he was having a difficult time looking away.

“You,” he said, his voice lower than he’d intended, “Need to wear your hair like that more often.”

Laurent grinned.“Also noted.”

Before Nikandros could say something crude about their behavior, Jokaste entered.A lady’s maid was behind her, carrying a lot of…something.There was a pile on top of a set of boxes that looked a lot like human hair.Jord and Nikandros exchanged a look and Laurent was grinning even wider.He met Jokaste, grabbed the dark pile of human hair, and came back to Damen, flinging it on his head.Laurent wrestled with it for a moment, until it was flat against Damen’s head, covering all of his actual hair.He spun Damen by the shoulders, so he was facing Nikandros and Jord.“What do you think?”

Jord’s mouth did something funny and Nikandros burst into laughter.

Damen raised his hands and felt around.It felt like he had a horse’s tail on his head.The hair went down almost to his shoulders and it was matted and straight.With a deep breath, he went to a mirror and peered into it.“Oh no,” he murmured, “No, no, I’m not wearing this.Where did you even find this?”

He caught Jokaste’s eyes in the mirror and she giggled behind a manicured hand.Then, suddenly, Laurent’s form was blocking his view and he was whispering in Damen’s ear, “I don’t want you to ever wear this again.”

“I look like someone who drinks all day and tries to tell people’s fortunes once I’m drunk enough to not care that nobody is listening to me.”

“Perfect,” Laurent smiled.“That’s what I was going for.”

“Why can’t Nikandros or Jord wear this one?”

“It’s the only wig we have and Jord is right.You’re the most recognizable.Even if someone thinks they recognize you, they’ll second guess themselves because they won’t be able to imagine your dignity sinking so low.”

“You are insufferable,” Damen sighed.Laurent kissed his cheek and then with a flourish, motioned for Jokaste to do something.She came forward and assessed Jord and Nikandros.Then she did the same to Laurent. 

“I can definitely make you all grungier,” she declared and had the lady’s maid bring the boxes to the table.The lady’s maid made to retreat from the room, but Jokaste stopped her.“You are not leaving my sight all night, my dear.Don’t try and leave.”Damen noticed that that precaution earned her a measure of respect from Laurent.

Once the boxes were opened, everyone gathered around to see inside.It was immediately clear what it was.Paints and powders.Nikandros visibly recoiled and Jord looked weary.Damen simply stared at Laurent, until blue eyes met his, and said, “Insufferable.”But really, it was ingenious and despite the ridiculousness of the entire plan, Damen couldn’t help but be impressed.The pragmatism of Laurent always bore interesting fruit.

Silently, Jokaste went to work, starting with Jord.She dabbed and rubbed with some of the darker powders, until the shadows made Jord more gaunt and drab than usual.Moving to Nikandros, she watched him, her fingers just above his cheek.His nostrils were flared but he nodded once, a harsh jerk. 

It wasn’t long before they were all done up and she stepped back to admire her handiwork.“You all look positively horrifying.I think I’ll escort you from the palace so you don’t get forcibly removed.”

No one protested and they followed Jokaste through the halls, the lady’s maid trailing behind them.Once they were out of the palace, she left them with a “good luck”.

“Lead the way,” Damen said to Laurent.And he did.They ended up in streets Damen had never willingly set foot in.When he’d been younger, his father had forced him to come to these parts of the city to see how some of his people lived and to learn from that, but there was nothing Damen particularly enjoyed about it.It shoved all his privilege right into his face and he didn’t let the repercussions of that go for many days.There was nothing different about it now.Women and some men lingered in dark alleys wearing next to nothing, the smell was unpleasant, and everything was covered in a thick layer of grime.

When they entered the tavern, however, it was incredibly lively.Someone was playing a kithara in the back and men and women were clanking tankards, shouting over each other to be heard, and the barman was busy at work, keeping the drinks coming.Laurent led them to one of the few empty tables, right in the middle of the room, and a thin, grim girl came up to them and asked what they’d like.Laurent ordered ale all around and then, when she disappeared, said, “I want you three to converse.I’ll pretend like I’m listening, but I won’t actually be, so don’t try to engage me in conversation.”

“Sounds easy to me,” Nikandros said, earning a glare from Damen.

Four drinks were sloshed down in front of them and before Damen could even say thank you, the girl had disappeared, off to someone else’s table.

“Cheers,” Damen said, raising his glass.Jord, Laurent, and Nikandros picked up theirs and they brought them together, before taking a sip.It was positively foul, similar to the wine that had been with Laurent and his army on the march to Ravenel.

“Ugh,” Damen grumbled, unable to help himself.Nikandros nodded, cringing.Jord didn’t seem to mind.

Damen tried to think of a topic of conversation.He thought it probably had to be something simple, like family, so it wasn’t obvious they didn’t belong here.“Do you see your sister much anymore?” Damen asked Jord.

Jord shook his head.“I haven’t seen her in years.She sends letters, though, and that’s good enough for both of us.She knows how important being in the army is to me, probably because she has a similar dream.”Jord laughed softly.“She’s always been a dreamer.”

“I’d like to meet her sometime,” Damen said.

Jord’s eyebrows shot up and then he smiled.It was small, but it was there.“I think, maybe, we could arrange that.I would like to see her again, see how far she’s progressed in her sword work.”

“She’s probably better than you,” Nikandros said, bumping Jord’s shoulder.

“Ha ha,” Jord said.Their shoulders didn’t break contact.“Nik told me you were the closest thing he had to a sibling.”

Damen nodded.“We did everything together…when I wasn’t in lessons, anyway.It was often me, him, and…” he paused, realizing he shouldn’t say names, “my half-brother, actually, but they never got along.”

Nikandros shook his head, “I hated him,” he said, grimly.“Whenever you weren’t looking at him but he was looking at you, he’d have this strange expression on his face.It wasn’t until I was older that I realized it was dangerous.He wasn’t particularly kind, either.”

Damen almost protested that, but then realized he couldn’t.Nikandros gave him a knowing look.“Our friend here, on the other hand, was so kind he forgave his brother everything, even getting stabbed in the stomach.”

“I didn’t know that,” Jord said.

Damen sighed.“Yes, well, it was a long time ago and I was young.And as he,” a jerk of the head towards Laurent, “So kindly reminded me, I didn’t have a mind for deception.That’s been a recent development and it’s still minimal.”

“There should be nothing wrong with trusting people,” Jord said.

“I have to agree.”

They continued talking, the topics less serious, delving into battles they’d been a part of and telling stories of memorable fights they’d seen.

Then, suddenly, in the middle of a story Nikandros was telling, Laurent interrupted the conversation.“How good are you in a fistfight, Nik?” Laurent asked, easily adopting the nickname they were using.

“Decent.”

“Excellent.I want you to go to that table over there,” Laurent said, voice low, laying his hand on the table and spinning his finger like a leaf on water, “And start a fight with that man.He’s been saying some rather ugly things about the King of Akielos most of the night.It should be easy for you to rile him up.And, if not, it will certainly be easy for him to rile you up.”

Nikandros frowned, judging his opponent, a large, beefy man.Then he said, “Why?”

“I need a distraction.”

Nikandros shrugged, downed the rest of his ale, and stood.Damen and Jord watched him leave and then watched as Laurent stood and lurked in the shadows on the edge of the room, observing, waiting for something. 

Damen drank more of the ale and said, “We might as well watch the fight.”

Jord nodded.

It was only a couple of seconds later when the first punch landed, the violent sound of flesh smacking flesh pervading the room.In a flash, most of the people in the tavern had stood and gathered around the fight.The barman, Damen noticed, was uninterested in getting involved and just kept a wary eye on the fight, likely watching to make sure it didn’t start breaking anything.

Damen and Jord stood, muscled their way to the front of the gathering, and watched Nikandros get flung to the ground.He was up in an instant, before the drunken man could pummel him, and dealt him a blow to the stomach.Then he ducked the next punch and darted behind the man, kicking him onto the floor.He caught Damen’s eye, triumph gleaming, and Damen mouthed: _Slow it down.Laurent needs time._

Nikandros waited for the man to stand, dealt another blow, then purposefully didn’t avoid the man’s fist as it drove into the side of his face.Jord flinched and Damen murmured, “He’ll be fine.He’ll avoid the dangerous ones.”

Jord nodded, but he still looked concerned.

Damen searched the crowd for Laurent and saw him talking to a man in the corner of the room, their heads bent low together.He wasn’t there long, before he moved into the crowd on the far side from Laurent and tugged someone to the edge to talk to them.

“Alright, alright,” the barman shouted, “That’s enough.”Nikandros had broken a chair.“Break it up.”

Damen shoved in and wrenched Nikandros away from the fight.It was difficult, but most of it was an act.He could feel laughter bubbling on the edge of all of Nikandros’ movements, even as he was hissing and spitting and thrashing in Damen’s arms.

The crowd began to slowly disperse back to their tables and Nikandros and Damen went back to theirs, where Jord was already sitting, finishing his ale.Right when Nikandros sat down, Jord swiveled, so he was straddling the bench and he poked and prodded at Nikandros’ cheek, watching his face intently for any signs of pain.Nikandros allowed it for a little while and then he brushed Jord off with a smile and a kiss to the cheek.

Laurent was back.“I think we’re done here.Everyone finished their drinks?”

“You haven’t,” Damen said.

“Yes, well, I don’t want to.”

They rose from the table and stepped outside, Laurent leading them away from the tavern and into an empty alley.Damen kept peering around, not liking the darkness.It was entirely possible it wasn’t empty and someone was lingering in the shadows.Laurent, however, didn’t seem all that concerned.

“No one knows where the children are, but they’ve all been taken during the day, at the market.Everyone I listened and talked to seems to think they’re still alive and are being used for something.I have no idea where they got that idea, except that they’ve heard a man all in black is taking the children.They are a superstitious lot.One man there was the father to a child who was taken and he told me that they’d moved here from Delpha.He also said that he’s talked to the parents of the other missing children,” Laurent said, “And he thought they’d all moved from Delpha as well.He knew nothing about the child who’d been taken today, but there was a man in the back who swore up and down that he’d seen it happen and that that child had been with Veretian parents, likely a child of one of the lords I asked to travel here.I’ll have to verify that and apologize profusely, but I think they’re targeting Veretians, or the closest they can get to Veretians.”

“So what do we do?” Damen asked.

“We go to the market tomorrow and we watch,” Laurent said.

“That is a shit idea,” Nikandros said.

“Thank you for your input,” Laurent shot back.

“You could waste an entire day doing that.An entire life.”

“You’re right.Damen and I won’t be doing it.It’ll be you and Jord.I hope you don’t have anything better to do.”

“Why him?” Nikandros asked Damen again, exasperatedly.Then, “Why did I have to fight?”

“I only wanted the people I was asking questions to know I was asking questions.I’d been watching.I knew who I could bribe, who I could trust to keep quiet, who I could wheedle information out of, but it’s best no one knows we’re searching.It will scare the kidnappers away if they think they’re about to be caught.”

“How did you know any of that?” Nikandros asked.

Both Damen and Jord answered at the same time, similar responses.That was Laurent.That was what he could do and that was all anybody needed to know.Laurent smiled, proud to have a reputation.

“Are we done for tonight, then?” Jord asked.

“We could be,” Laurent said.

Nikandros shook his head.“I can’t be around him anymore.Damen, get me away from him.”

Laurent sighed and turned to Damen, repeating his previous words. 

“What did you have in mind?”

“Something reckless.I’m not royalty tonight and that has it’s appeal.”The glint in Laurent’s eyes, barely visible in the moonlight, reminded Damen that Laurent was only twenty years old and that for many of those years he had been deprived of an actual childhood.Laurent wasn’t asking to be a commoner, he was asking to be young.

Jord sensed something similar and said, “I think I’ll take Nikandros home.Don’t die, you two.”He watched them nod and then he and Nikandros left, leaving Damen to deal with an edged Laurent, a Laurent Damen hadn’t ever encountered this fully before.But it was electric and heady and Damen thought that Laurent could ask him to do just about anything and he would.

“How do you feel about stealing horses and going for a ride?” Laurent said.

And they did.It was easy and it happened fast, so fast Damen wasn’t even sure they were doing anything wrong, and then they were riding.Laurent was cheering, laughing wildly, as they careened through the streets, shouting at people to get out of the way.Once they were in open pasture, they were galloping, and the horrid wig flew off Damen’s head and he was happy.Happier than he’d been last night, happier than he’d been in a long time.There was a timelessness to what they were doing and a strong feeling that they had nowhere else to be and nothing else to do.They were free.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all stunning and beautiful and I love you. <3  
> I didn't thank the lovely @vereandakielos and @geekdomgalor last week and I really should've. You are both everything to me. Even when I get impatient...;)  
> This chapter is everything to me and I'm crazy excited to share it with you guys so enjoy!!!

The horses were sweat-lathered and breathing hard when they stopped, the palace at Ios a dark shadow in the distance.Laurent dismounted and flung himself down into the tall grass, eyes staring at the stars.His chest was heaving, a smile on his flushed face, and his hair was a mess, some still in the bun, but most in strands hanging around his face and neck.Jokaste’s makeup was still there, but by the pale moonlight, it was nearly impossible to differentiate from the shadows underneath Laurent’s sharp cheekbones.

Damen dismounted, but didn’t lay down.Instead he stared at Laurent.“You are…” he took a shuddering breath, “I don’t think you’ve ever looked more beautiful.”

“Aren’t you lucky?Not everyone gets to see me at my most beautiful.”Laurent reached up and tangled his fingers into Damen’s.He didn’t tug hard, like the unspoken request to join him on the ground was a question, not an order. 

Damen sprawled beside Laurent, one of his legs crossing over the top of one of Laurent’s.“We are going to return the horses, right, because…”

Laurent rolled over and kissed Damen hard.“Do not ruin this with your honorable intentions.”

“I can’t believe you just interrupted me.”

Laurent laughed.“Yes, you can.”He leaned in and kissed Damen again, this time much softer, his lips warm and malleable.Damen opened his mouth under Laurent’s gentle prodding and sighed happily as his heart rate picked up considerably.Before Damen could decide where he wanted this to go, Laurent pulled away, Damen’s bottom lip between his teeth.When he finally let it go, Damen was almost painfully aroused.

“I am not fucking you in the grass and dirt,” Laurent said, falling back onto the ground.

“I thought you were being reckless.”

Laurent turned his head from the sky and shot Damen a disapproving look.“We are not animals, Damen.The distinct advantage of that is having a bed.

“But we don’t have one,” Damen said, slipping a hand down Laurent’s chest to splay across his stomach.“And I want you now.”

Laurent smiled.“Do you?You should know better than to let me know what you want.”

Damen frowned, removing his hand from Laurent’s stomach and returning to his star-ward sprawl.They were beautiful, but Damen didn’t want to look at them.He wanted to look at Laurent, wanted to hear his soft sounds in the still air, wanted to press Laurent’s hands down into the grass until his fingernails came out dirty.Of course, Laurent was being difficult, so he was left with the stars.

“Would you let the horses go if I had sex with you right now?”

“Don’t make this a convoluted game,” Damen sighed.

Laurent raised himself up, resting an elbow on Damen’s shoulder and staring down at him, eyes blazing.He was alive, alive, alive right now and it was going to drive Damen completely insane.Laurent bent down, his lips grazing Damen’s ear and murmured slowly, “Would you?”Then he left his lips there, his breath tickling Damen.

Damen’s insides were roiling and his thoughts were scattered and incomplete.In order to avoid answering the question, Damen reached for Laurent’s lips, but Laurent retreated, a laugh on his lips.“Oh no,” he whispered, “I can’t have you breaking the rules of the game.”

“I don’t even know the rules.”

“You’re intelligent, I’m sure you’ll figure them out.”

“A simple yes or no would suit me fine.I’m alright waiting until we have a bed.”

“Are you?” Laurent asked, his lips right back where they’d been before he’d retreated, and now his hand was working slowly down Damen’s chest to his stomach and beyond.Damen couldn’t stop a small gasp of “No” from escaping and Laurent smirked triumphantly. 

Laurent asked, “Would you?” once more and the only response on Damen’s lips was “Yes.”That earned Damen a moment of spiking pleasure, his hips bucking, but then Laurent’s hand was sliding back upwards, his grin vicious.

“Would you wear that awful wig to a meeting with your advisors?”

Damen swore and then breathed, “Yes,” his hips already desperately searching for Laurent’s hand.Instead, Laurent bent down and kissed the corner of his mouth and then his pulse point, before licking a long stripe down Damen’s neck to his collarbone.He also unpinned Damen’s chiton and pulled the fabric down to his waist.

“Would you eat a strand of this grass?”

Damen furrowed his brow and said, “What?”

“Well?”

“Yes,” Damen sighed.Laurent plucked a strand of grass and trailed it across Damen’s chest, sending shivers down Damen’s spine, before handing the piece to Damen.

“Are you serious?”

Laurent laughed loudly, but didn’t take the grass back or hit it away from Damen’s hand.He just watched, eyes curious.Damen focused his eyes on Laurent’s and very purposefully shoved the grass into his mouth, chewed and swallowed.Laurent’s eyebrows raised and then he licked Damen’s left nipple, before biting and suckling on it languorously.He gave the same treatment to the other, slid the rest of the chiton off and out from under Damen, and placed a kiss on the head of Damen’s cock.

“Would you suck Nikandros’ cock?”

“That is just obscene.”

“Do I care about obscene?”

Damen grimaced, every part of him violently recoiling, and recoiling even further as he was forced to consider it and the position he was in, so close to getting what he wanted.“No,” he said.“No, I wouldn’t.”

“You must not want it that bad then,” Laurent said, falling backwards back into the grass.

“Would you suck Auguste’s cock?”He thought about apologizing right after he said it, but Laurent had left an incredibly large opening for that response.It wasn’t his fault for taking it.No, it was.Shit.“Sorry,” he murmured.“That was…sorry.”

Laurent didn’t seem angry, however.Instead, he said, “Perhaps you have a point.”He moved so that he was straddling Damen, his hips rocking back and forth across Damen’s cock.“You did eat grass, after all.”

Damen’s hands rucked Laurent’s chiton up to his waist, so that skin was meeting skin.Both moved with an honest seeking of pleasure and it wasn’t long before the pace increased considerably and Damen was coming.Laurent was flushed and breathing hard and he was close, but not quite there yet.Damen sat up, hands splaying across the full of Laurent’s back and he lowered his head so he was suckling the top of Laurent’s cock, salt splashing across his tongue.Bobbing his head, he changed the rhythm from fast to excruciatingly slow, every swirl of his tongue purposeful and indulgent.

In a low, long moan, Laurent came, his hands rough in Damen’s hair.Damen spit the come into the grass, then gathered Laurent closer, kissing him slowly, their tongues sliding in a slow drum-beat dance.His senses were overwhelmed and every time his heart beat, his thoughts pulsed with Laurent’s name.

When Laurent finally pulled away, he tumbled off Damen into the grass and curled up against his side.“Surprisingly, I don’t regret that.”

“You weren’t technically in the grass.”

“That must be it.”

“How much effort is it taking to lie here with me?” Damen asked.

“A fair amount.I want to run or go a round with you or drink until I can’t stand or…what sort of idiotic things did you do when you were twenty?”

“I had lots of sex, drank a lot, and angered Kastor.And my father, but that was mostly a result of the previous three.”

“Exactly what I’d expect of you,” Laurent sighed.

“What can I say?I’m predictable.”A pause.“I’ll race you.”

“You’d lose.”

Damen shrugged.“Maybe.I do have the superior athletic skill.”

“I weigh much less and I’m known for my speed.”

“Fine.You’d win, but I’m still willing.Run as fast as you can or I’ll catch you and then I’ll make sure there’s dirt underneath your fingernails before we leave.”

Laurent was up in a flash and sprinting away.Damen followed, his sandaled feet tearing up the soft grass and dirt.Laurent’s hair was streaming out behind him, the bun long forgotten, and he was fast.Damen could catch up, but Laurent would always turn a sharp angle and create distance.Eventually, though, with harsh wracking breaths of laughter, he allowed himself to be caught and Damen flung them both into the grass, Laurent beneath him.Damen strung his fingers through Laurent’s and pressed their hands hard into the ground above Laurent’s head.

“Got you,” Damen whispered.

“Yes, you did,” Laurent said, his eyes warm.He curled his arms around Damen’s neck and brought his head down for a kiss, then pulled harder so Damen was lying beside him.The only sound in the night, besides the whirring of the grass in the wind, was their heavy breathing.It was just them.Damen had missed this; the privacy, the ease, the quiet silence.He wanted to be king and he knew Laurent did, too, but it was a small shock to realize, out in the grass, that he didn’t need to be king.If this was it, the sum total of everything they owned and were, he would be happy.

“Let’s never leave,” Damen said.

“Tired of being Damianos?”

“I’m tired of spending entire days without seeing you and I’m tired of being terrified all of the time.”

“You’re not terrified now?”

“Who’s going to hurt us out here?” Damen asked.

“I hate to be the one to tell you, but there is a very long list of people who are capable of hurting us out here.We were very obvious riding out of Ios tonight and someone was definitely watching.It’s not a guarantee someone realized it was us, but…”

“Shut up,” Damen sighed.“I’d prefer to be happily oblivious for a while.”There was a long pause and then he said, “Wait, then why are we out here alone and unprotected?I don’t even have a sword with me.”

“Reckless, remember?”Then Laurent sighed, knowing the moment was over.He stood, extended a hand to help Damen up, and whistled for the horses, who were happily grazing in the field.Damen thought that they were lucky the horses hadn’t galloped off, but he supposed that was just another part of the recklessness Laurent had craved.

“We should try and find that wig,” Laurent said.“Do you have any idea where you lost it?”

“Uh…”Damen scratched the back of his head and tried to remember and Laurent laughed shortly, amused, but more concerned about someone discovering their identity once they made it back into the city.

“It’s late enough.We should be fine.”A regretful sigh, “I would’ve enjoyed seeing you wearing it to a council meeting, though.I suppose I could dig up another one and make you wear that.”

A tenseness Damen hadn’t even realized was present disappeared, muscles in his shoulders unwinding, as he laughed.“I’m sure you could.Do you really think it’ll be alright?We could sleep out here and wait until the sun is up.It would be safer.”

“I am not sleeping on the ground.”Laurent mounted his horse and held out the reins of Damen’s.

“Of course not.What was I thinking?”

Laurent glared at him as he mounted his horse and then they were riding back to Ios.

At the edge of the city, Laurent dismounted.

“What are you…”

“I intend to hold you to your promise.”

Damen closed his eyes and remembered the slide of Laurent’s cock against his, the warmth and the need, and he dismounted.He handed the reins of the horse to Laurent and then turned his back.He heard the distinct sound of saddles and bridles being dumped onto the ground, a slap, and then the horses galloping back the way they had came. 

A hand ran up his back to his shoulder and Laurent said, “Are you and your high-minded principles going to be alright?”

“Probably not.”

“Good.Makes up for the dirt underneath my fingernails.”

“We should move.It’s unwise to stand in one place for too long,” Damen said, scanning the alleys and windows and rooftops for signs of shadows.It seemed to be silent and unmoving, everyone asleep, but neither he or Laurent had a sword, which left him feeling naked, small.Damen did not like feeling small.

Laurent placed his hand in Damen’s and squeezed it gently.“Don’t make any noise,” he whispered.

They walked through the city, hands linked, eyes constantly scanning for any sign of danger.The darkness was no longer welcoming and what Damen really wanted to do was scoop Laurent up in his arms and run hard towards the palace.But Laurent was right, the less noise they made the better and running was loud.This way, their presence was less likely to be noticed and, if it was, they’d be able to tell if someone was following them.

As though Laurent was reading his mind, he picked up the pace of their walking slightly.His fingernails were digging into Damen’s skin.

Suddenly, Laurent wrenched his hand away from Damen’s and spun.A group of people in black clothes with masks were running at them, some from alleys, some from houses, and some sliding down drainage pipes from the rooftops.It was an ambush and there were too many of them.

Damen stepped forward, in front of Laurent, and smashed a fist hard into the head of the person in front, then wrestled them to the ground and slammed their sword from their hand.Then he slashed their throat.

The sword was not of a fine make.If it had met one of Damen’s swords in battle, it could’ve broken.Nonetheless, it was all he had and he tossed it to Laurent.Damen was better at grappling.He could get another sword.

“That’s Laurent of Vere, that is.Men!Fair bit of money in this one,” one of them shouted and the numerous men Damen was fighting disappeared to converge on Laurent.These men hadn’t been waiting for them in particular.They were simply thieves waiting for someone idiotic enough to stroll through the wrong part of the city unprotected. 

It was a surprise to hear Laurent had a price on his head, though Damen knew he shouldn’t be surprised.Guion was working with a rich Akielon.It was all too easy.What had Laurent said once? _There is little sense in pitting a lesser sense of duty against a greater one.No leader could expect loyalty to hold under those circumstances._ There were many men in the darker parts of the city whose loyalty was given wholly and completely to money.The fact that Damen was their king and Laurent his husband was simply not enough, not to compete with what Damen was sure was a handsome sum of money.

Damen spun and ran to Laurent who was managing to hold them off, but only barely.The problem was none of them were facing him and he didn’t have a sword, so it became a matter of knocking out as many as he could.He’d managed to incapacitate two, when half of the men turned, realizing the threat, and pointed their swords at Damen’s chest.Damen swerved, avoiding their swings, and got in close to one, sending his sword flying to the ground.He reached for it when the hilt of a sword cracked against the top of his head.Damen fought hard to remain conscious, but then the hilt slammed down again and blackness converged.

Damen woke to the swimming faces of some of his guard.Laurent was nowhere to be seen.Damen tried to raise himself, but a guard placed a hand on his chest.“Exalted, don’t sit up so quickly.”

“Laurent, where’s Laurent?”

“I didn’t see His Highness.”

Damen’s heart felt like it was going to beat through his chest and out.“One of you, give me a sword.”

“Exalted, you are in danger here.We can’t let you go out there alone.”

“Then, by all means, come with me.”

“You are not…”

“I don’t care what I am or am not!” Damen shouted.“Laurent is out there, alone and in danger, and I am not going to sit here and do nothing because my head hurts.”It more than hurt, actually.And sometimes he saw little white lights in his vision, but they didn’t need to know that.

There was a commotion, someone shoving through the guards towards Damen, and then Nikandros and Jord were there.“Would someone please tell me what is going on?” Nikandros asked, “And why this stammering imbecile came and woke me up and brought me here?”And then Nikandros saw Damen and the anger in his eyes disappeared. 

Jord was terrified.“Where is he?” he choked.

“We were ambushed by thieves,” Damen said.“Apparently, Laurent has a price on his head and they thought they’d earn some money.Why the hell did I not know that Laurent had a price on his head?”He was shouting again and Nikandros cringed.Then Nikandros looked over at Jord meaningfully and Jord nodded once.

Shutting his eyes while delivering the orders, Nikandros said, “Men, escort King Damianos back to his room and make sure he stays in there.I suggest at least four inside the room and four outside.”

“Nikandros, you can’t be serious.You cannot force me to…”

“Who’s to say there isn’t a price on your head?You’ve been hit hard in the head and I happen to know that you would burn every building in this city to the ground so you could search through the rubble for him.”

“I…”It’s true, he would.

“Your people need to trust you, Exalted, and scaring them isn’t going to help.Have faith in your guard.We will find him.Jord and I will find him.Besides, you and I both know he’s alright.That man could talk his way out of anything.”

_Not if they cut out his tongue_ , Damen thought.He saw something similar echoed in Jord’s eyes.

“Nikandros,” Damen said, roughly, “If he’s…if you don’t find him, I swear…”He couldn’t finish the statement.The idea of Nikandros and him not being friends, the idea of Laurent being…he couldn’t think about it.There was so much at stake.

“I know,” Nikandros murmured, the pain in his eyes undisguised.He nodded to the guards and two grabbed Damen’s arms.Damen didn’t even fight.He just stared at Nikandros, eyes hard, until he was being guided away and back to his rooms.He heard Nikandros start giving out a string of orders.Damen tried not to jerk against the men holding them at the thought of being locked away while everyone else tried to find Laurent.They wouldn’t try hard enough.They weren’t willing to burn Akielos down. 

The guards did exactly as Nikandros suggested.Four were posted in his room, four outside.Damen hardly noticed them.He was pacing, sometimes staring out the window, wishing he was out there, and then pacing again.The pacing gave his body motion and distracted him from his thoughts, which were a whirlwind of hypothetical situations, each one getting worse than the last.It surprised him when the sun began to rise.He hadn’t been aware of time passing.

A guard’s voice ruptured his thoughts.“Lady Jokaste to see you, Exalted.” Damen nodded weakly and then Jokaste entered, still wearing her nightgown, Phaedrus asleep in her arms.

“I heard,” she whispered.She held out one arm towards Damen and he slipped into it, his forehead resting on her shoulder.She rubbed his back gently and murmured into his ear.Damen didn’t catch the words, but her voice was comforting and eventually, he was able to sit down at a table.His hands were shaking so badly he probably couldn’t have held a glass of water, but he was sitting.Jokaste sat with him, but didn’t say anything.

A gurgle caught both of their attentions.Phaedrus was awake.Jokaste smiled thinly down at him and then looked up at Damen.Extending her arms outwards, she offered Phaedrus to Damen.

Damen shook his head.He’d probably drop him.Jokaste simply nodded, before reaching across the distance separating them and gripping one of his shaking hands in her steady one.Damen allowed it for a little while, but it grew to be too much and then he was standing again, the pacing resumed.The sun was steadily rising in the sky.Damen wasn’t sure how long it had been, but it didn’t change the fact that it had been too long.

“I need to leave,” he said to one of the guards.

“I can’t allow that, Exalted.”

“If I don’t get an…outlet,” he growled out, “I will tear this entire room apart and then knock every single one of you out.I promise you, I can do it.”

The guard looked at his companions and then sighed.“Where would you like to go?”

“Training arena.”

“We will escort you.”

Jokaste stood and said, “I’ll come with you.You shouldn’t be alone.”

“You,” Damen said, pointing at one of the guards who’d been standing silently, “Get me a report on the search.”He nodded and left.The rest converged around Damen and Jokaste and walked them to the training arena.

Damen picked up the heaviest sword there and then went at one of the straw training dummies mercilessly.It didn’t take long before he was sweating and his muscles were burning, but the single-mindedness of training helped push everything else out of his mind, especially when he imagined the dummy as one of the thieves.

“Exalted,” a meek voice said.Damen spun, sword still in hand, and the guard fell back, eyes scared.

“What?”Damen tried to sound kind and not threatening, but it didn’t work.He was wound too tightly.

The guard inhaled sharply, “They haven’t found His Highness yet,” he said in a rush.“They believe they have a lead, but…”

“Thank you,” Damen said flatly.The guard retreated and Damen remained entirely still, blade dangling from his fingertips.Slowly, he sank to the ground, the sword falling at his side, and his head falling into his hands.It was almost noon and they hadn’t found him.How long would they keep him alive?Did the reward even depend on him being alive?What if they’d hurt him, gagged him?What if Damen would never see him again?Damen clutched to the memory of Laurent’s hand in his and tried to still his hammering heart, to restart his lungs.

“Damen, Damen,” Jokaste said, sinking onto her knees beside him, and pulling his head into her chest, “Damen, it’s alright, shh.Nikandros and Jord will find him.Breathe.It’s alright.”

Damen sucked in a breath and let his weight fall into Jokaste.“What am I going to do if he…”

“You are the strongest person I know, Damen.You can make it through anything.”

“I don’t want to.Not without him.”

“I know,” she murmured.Jokaste’s fingers were streaming through his hair and somehow, that was what pushed Damen over the edge.He started crying, his hands clutching hard to Jokaste’s shoulders.It was quiet and controlled, but every part of his body was shaking now, and the tears spilled hot down his cheeks onto Jokaste’s skin. 

Once he had started, there was no end.The tears were not only for Laurent now, but for his father, for Kastor, and for Auguste.Jokaste held him all the way through, murmuring into his ear.

Finally, when the crying slowed, Damen sat up and wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand.Jokaste looked down at herself and said, slowly, “Look at what you’ve done, Damen.I’m a mess.”Her eyes were wary and when Damen smiled shakily, she smiled back, relieved.

“I bet Phaedrus is hungry.Are you going to be alright?”

He nodded.

“I’ll be right over there.Let me know if you need anything.”She stood and returned to the edge of the training field where a lady’s maid was holding Phaedrus. 

Damen stayed on the floor for a while and then stood when he thought his legs would be able to hold him.He picked up the sword and set back to work clearing his mind.

Eventually, his limbs simply wouldn’t work anymore and he retreated to the edge of the training field and sunk onto the floor beside Jokaste, who, amazingly, was still there.It wasn’t long now before the sun would set and Damen was trying to think of anything else besides how much time had passed.

“You should eat something,” Jokaste said.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Those are different things.”She handed him a plate of cheeses and meats she’d had brought for herself and watched as he picked apart the cheese into smaller and smaller chunks.

“Good, now put one in your mouth.”

Damen did as she asked.He didn’t have the energy to duel words with her.The cheese didn’t taste like anything as he chewed on it absentmindedly.

“He wouldn’t want this, you know,” she murmured.

“When have I ever done a goddamn thing Laurent wanted me to do?” he said, harshly.Laurent’s name leaving his mouth spiked his anxiety and he had to take a moment to breathe steadily, in through his mouth, out through his nose.“I should be out there searching for him.”

“It’s too big of a risk.”

“So I’ve been told.”A long pause.“I’m going to return to my rooms.Come with me?”

“Of course,” Jokaste said, picking herself up.She went over to the guards and informed them of the plan and they were escorted back to Damen’s rooms.Jokaste sat down in a chair and Damen lay down on the bed, grabbing a book from Laurent’s bedside table, and cracking it open.The words were a blur, but it was comforting to pretend he had something to do.It was comforting to hold something of Laurent’s in his hands.

The sun had almost set when a knock came on the door.Damen bolted up in bed and Jokaste stood to open the door.There was a brief conversation before Jokaste sighed and opened the door further.Nikandros and Jord loped in, heads down and feet dragging.They were exhausted and worn, but all Damen could think was that they hadn’t found him.Laurent was still missing.

Nikandros didn’t meet Damen’s eyes.He sank into a chair and bowed his head in his hands.Jord took a deep breath and came to stand in front of Damen.His eyes were empty.It was disconcerting.

“They’re still out searching.But…” he paused, his voice breaking slightly, “I don’t know where he is.It’s likely the thieves are being protected by someone with influence and…are you doing alright?”

“No better than you.”

Jord nodded heavily.He sat on the edge of the bed.It surprised Damen, as Jord hadn’t even asked and normally he would’ve, but Damen said nothing.He didn’t mind.No one in this room was sure what to do with themselves.

Nikandros came over and sat beside Jord.Jord’s head fell on his shoulder and Nikandros held him tightly.Over the top of Jord’s head, he stared at Damen.The expression was raw, the emotions pouring out.They said: _I’m sorry, I blame myself for not finding Laurent and I’ve disappointed you, my king, my friend._

“Don’t,” Damen murmured, “You tried.Thank you.”

“If anyone can get himself free, it’s Laurent,” Jord said.The faint hope and overwhelming need colored his voice and it did very little to reassure anyone.

In the silence that followed, Damen began pacing again.Suddenly, it all felt entirely hopeless and Damen wasn’t alright with that.He said the words before he could think to stop them, “I’m going out there and no one in here is stopping me.I don’t care if I get murdered, but I do promise to not kill anyone unnecessarily or burn anybody’s home down.I just want to walk the streets.I have to feel like I’m doing something.”He’d meant for it to sound like a directive, but it sounded like a plea.Nikandros simply nodded.

Jord said, “Let me come with you.”

“You must be exhausted.”

“I’m not sleeping until he’s safe.”

“Alright,” Damen said.

Nikandros jerked his head up and then gazed at Jord.“If you get yourself killed…”

“You’ll kill me,” Jord replied, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.“I know.”His hands fell to Nikandros’ neck, then fluttered over his jawbone, framing his face.The kiss that followed was earnest and sweet, however short.Damen had to look away.

“Let’s go,” Jord said.

They strolled from the room, leaving Nikandros resigned and forlorn.Jokaste’s head was bent over Phaedrus, but Damen thought it likely she was hiding her face on purpose.Hopefully, they wouldn’t kill each other while he was gone.

 

 

He and Jord exchanged no words as they patrolled the streets.They were both armed but Damen knew no one was going to be stupid enough to attack them tonight.Guards were everywhere, searching corners, knocking on doors, disrupting the normal activities of the evening in the city of Ios.One shout, and enough men to repel any serious attack would be around Damen almost instantly.

No one could meet his eyes.The sun was almost gone from the sky; twilight had settled.

He and Jord walked until they were at the place where they’d found Damen the previous night.There were no signs of the battle that had taken place and yet, Jord crouched on the ground and tried to spot something, anything.“I’ve been here at least twenty times today,” he murmured.“Every time I come back, I think it’ll be the time I find something.”

“We need to find out who’s working with Guion.”

Jord nodded.“Yes.We do.”

“Could I have your opinion on something?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think Laurent is safer here or in Arles?”

Jord pondered that, the unspoken part of the question thick between them: If Laurent is still alive and we manage to find him.“Guion’s faction will be in Arles and they are likely more powerful.However, Laurent has a control there he will never manage to have here.There are people intensely loyal to him there and Laurent understands the political field intimately.He’d be safer there, but I can’t promise you would be.”

“I don’t need to be safe.”

“You don’t think Laurent cares just as much for your safety as you do his?”

“I can’t go through this again.”

“He can’t ever go through this.You _want_ to kill and torture your way to him.He would kill and torture his way to you.And then if, at the end, you weren’t there, he’d be broken.There’d be no Laurent left.”

Damen sighed.“It’s an argument I’ll have with him then.”

“Fair enough.”

Jord stood and they wandered farther into the poorer section of the city, keeping their eyes peeled, but not expecting to find anything. 

They passed a dark alley, where someone was on their hands and knees, retching.Damen thought about investigating, but then he saw that the alley came out of a tavern next door and he sighed.It was just someone who’d had too much to drink.

But then he heard his name, coughed out, soft.Not “Exalted” or “Your Highness” or “Damianos”, but “Damen”.Damen spun and ran back to the alley, crashing to the ground on his knees beside the person shrouded in the dark.Grasping at the man’s head, Damen wrenched it up.It was Laurent.It was him.He was right there and he was alive.The fact that Laurent was retching in an alley flew out of Damen’s head and he laughed breathlessly, pulling Laurent hard against him.He heard Jord say, “Oh thank goodness.”

“Ow,” Laurent murmured.“I think I need a physician.” 

Damen didn’t register the words.Laurent was in his arms and he wasn’t leaving them again.

“Damen,” Laurent whispered.Than louder, “Damen!You are not helping.”

Damen let go in a rush and brushed Laurent’s hair from his face, “What is it?What’s wrong?”

“Well,” Laurent said, “I’m not sure.I think one of my ribs is broken.I’ve got cuts all over my chest and I’ve been stabbed in the leg.Also, I’ve been punched quite a lot.”

Without a thought, Damen picked Laurent up in his arms.He nodded to Jord and they headed back to the palace, moving quickly.Jord had his sword drawn the entire time.His eyes spoke of death and he turned them on anyone that so much as looked their direction.

Damen glanced down and saw the blood staining Laurent’s shirt, the rivulets flowing down where the shirt had been ripped open.“What can I do?” he asked frantically.Laurent’s eyes were half-closed and his body was limp.Damen was not going to lose him now that he’d just found him.

“Talk to me,” Laurent said.“About anything.”

“Okay.Would you prefer something pleasant or would you prefer a summary of how I’ve been feeling all day?”

Laurent grimaced.“The first option, please.”Damen thought the words were too quiet.

“Fine.I’ve decided that I don’t like cheese.I was picking it apart today and trying to eat it and it’s just so salty and sharp.Besides, once it’s been in the sun for a while, it gets dewy and warm and warm cheese is even worse.Maybe that’s what it was.Anyway, it might be a very long time before I eat cheese again.I’ll have to remember to tell the servants so they don’t bring it anymore.”He sounded ridiculous even to himself, but his thoughts, words, and mouth weren't connected.

“But I like cheese,” Laurent said.Then he laughed quietly.“Cheese.Endless topics in the world and you pick cheese.’

“What would you prefer?It’s hard to think of pleasant things when you’ve spent all day pacing and trying to not strangle everyone in your vicinity.”

“I thought we weren’t going to talk about that.”

“What happened, Laurent?”

Laurent shook his head.“I can’t,” he inhaled sharply, “It would take too much out of me.Later.”

“You better goddamn live.”

“I intend to.”

“Good,” Damen said.They were in the palace now and Jord was hurrying them through the halls toward the infirmary. 

Laurent gritted his teeth and very slowly reached up to cup Damen’s cheek with his hand.“I’m glad you found me.”

“So am I.What were you thinking, puking in an alley alone?Guards were everywhere.They would’ve helped you.”

“Don’t be mad.”

“I’m not.”

Laurent sighed, his hand dropping back down into his lap.He nestled his head into Damen’s chest and whispered, “Don’t leave me.”

“There’s no way in hell I’m leaving you.”They were at the infirmary now and Jord alerted one of the physicians to the situation.They were led into a separate room, away from all the other residents, and Damen was directed to a clean bed.Setting Laurent down, Damen fell onto his knees right beside the bed and made sure to keep Laurent’s eyes directly on his.

Jord’s hand fell onto Damen’s shoulder.“The physician is not going to be able to help if he can’t examine the patient,” he murmured.

“I’ll be right over there,” Damen whispered.Laurent nodded. 

When Damen retreated, the physician stepped in and set to work.He poked and prodded, got Laurent out of his clothes and changed, wrapped Laurent’s leg and chest, stitching up some of the wounds, and did a thorough check of everything else.

“He should be fine,” the physician said.“The recovery will take some time, but I don’t think his life is in any particular danger.I’m going to give him something to help him sleep.If that is alright with you, Your Highness,” the physician continued, directing the last statement toward Laurent.

“That sounds excellent to me.”

The physician nodded and got a cup, stirring some herbs and water together and then instructed Laurent to drink all of it.Once that had been done, the physician bowed and left the room.Damen was back beside the bed in an instant and Jord murmured something, excusing himself.

Damen kissed Laurent.Breathlessly, “You’re alive.”

“Worried?”

Damen growled, “Do not tease me about this.I’m on edge right now.I don’t want this to get ugly.”

“I’d love to continue this conversation,” Laurent said, “But…” his eyes fluttered closed, “Whatever he gave me was incredibly strong.”

“I’ll be right here when you wake.”

Laurent smiled lazily.“I’m so in love with you.”

Damen laughed, tears about to overflow.“I need to give you this drug more often.You’re practically nonsensical.”

“I’m serious,” he slurred.“I don’t even know how to describe to you what I felt when I saw you there kneeling beside me.”

“Shh,” Damen said.“Get some sleep.”

“Don’t shush me.”

“Stop stubbornly clutching to consciousness.”

“Whatever you say.”Then his breathing slowed and Damen fell back onto his feet and sighed.Laurent was right there in the bed.It wasn’t a trick.It was real.And he was breathing, he wasn’t dead, however dead he looked.Suddenly, Damen was exhausted, completely wrung out.He called for a chair and when it came, he slumped down into it, his head hanging over his chest, and fell asleep.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for all the compliments and devotion. It means everything.  
> I have a special thank you for @czarryy for her lovely fic rec and @ladylowlife for actual real life fan art. That was completely crazy and I'm still not over it. Like...at all. Oh, and thanks to my beautiful beta readers who continue to make this process so much easier than it could be.  
> This chapter is essentially a long-ass piece of fluff that serves as a transition. I hope that's okay with you guys.  
> ENJOY!

Damen woke, every part of his body aching; his arms and legs from the extended sword practice yesterday and his back and neck from sleeping in an uncomfortable chair.Laurent was still asleep.He’d rolled onto his side, facing Damen, and his hands were clutched in the sheets, keeping them up over his chest.Damen smiled and touched Laurent’s face lightly, brushing every feature with the pads of his fingers.His chest ached.This, this morning of soft skin, indulgent touches, and lazy sunlight hadn’t been a promise. 

Damen stood, strolled to the door, and opened it as quietly as possible.He wasn’t going to leave the room—he’d promised he wouldn’t—but he was hungry and he needed something to do while Laurent slept. 

A guard was sent to fetch breakfast and Damen settled back in the chair, his eyes unable to leave Laurent’s face.There was something strange about seeing him in a bed like this, bandages on his chest peeking through the top of the sheets, the stiff Veretian clothing gone.He was incredibly human; fragile.The fact of his mortality hadn’t ever struck Damen so hard.There had always been something about Laurent that felt immortal, impregnable, and yet, here he was, wounded.He could’ve died.Damen allowed himself to think that only now that he was completely out of danger.

He was never letting Laurent be reckless again.

The guard entered, the physician trailing behind him.Damen was handed a platter of food and a book.He also passed along a message from Jord.He and Nikandros were currently in the market, keeping an eye out for the person responsible for abducting the children.Damen had completely forgotten about that and he felt a wave of gratitude wash over him.It felt nice to have someone pick up the slack, to allow him this time to be a husband instead of a king.It couldn’t last forever, but it was better than having to return to work straight away.

The physician bent down over Laurent, lifted his eyelids, and checked his pulse.Laurent hardly stirred.The drugs had been strong.

“Is he alright?” Damen asked.

“Yes.He’s doing well.There’s no cause for worry.”

“Thank you,” Damen smiled. 

The physician nodded and then paused as he was about to leave the room.“Can I ask you something, Exalted?”

“Of course.”

“Why trust me with his life?You don’t know me and Akielons have not behaved kindly to your husband recently.”

“I…”Damen hadn’t thought of that.Neither had Jord or Nikandros, clearly, or they would’ve said something.If Laurent hadn’t been bleeding out, he would’ve said something, Damen was sure.A spike of adrenaline pulsed through Damen’s body, but he managed to regard the physician with a straight face.“You haven’t done anything to him, have you?”

“I could lie.”

“You could,” Damen said, heavily.“Just tell me you haven’t, please.I can’t bear to hear anything else right now.”

“I haven’t,” the physician murmured.“My job is to heal and I’m not capable of doing the opposite.But there are some here who are.I suppose this is my way of letting you know.Don’t let any others in here to look at him.”

“They’d know if he was dying instead of healing, though, wouldn’t they?”

The physician smiled thinly.“Yes, they would.”

“I’m not sure where this conversation leaves us.”

“I’m just offering some advice.Take it or leave it.You’ll know whether or not to trust me soon, I expect.He shouldn’t be asleep for much longer.”

Damen nodded, swallowing hard.He turned back to the bed once the physician left and slipped his hand over one of Laurent’s.It was warm and soft.Normal.There was no need to worry, but the warning had been a good one.

“You’re making my hand sweaty,” Laurent grumbled, eyes still closed.Then they fluttered open slowly and Damen let out a breath he hadn’t even known he was holding. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m not letting go.”

“Ugh,” Laurent groaned, scrunching his eyes closed and running his free hand over his face.“Everything hurts.”

“I would kiss everything better, but I’ve been told that doesn’t work.”

“Whoever told you that was extremely intelligent.”

“Do you want me to call the physician, have him give you something?” Damen asked.

Laurent shook his head.“I can manage.”

“I know you can, but you don’t have to.”

“I do actually.We have to talk,” Laurent said, eyebrows drawing inwards.

Damen wouldn’t lie and say he hadn’t been waiting to hear the details of what had happened, but it didn’t feel right doing it now, after Laurent had just woken up.He needed food.Damen needed to kiss every inch of his face, reassure himself that Laurent was there and alive, and he needed to hear what exactly Laurent had felt when Damen had knelt down beside him in the alley last night.Inexplicably, all these things felt infinitely more important.Yet, he knew that look in Laurent’s eye.They were doing this now.

“At least eat something while you talk,” Damen sighed, handing over the platter of food.He hadn’t quite finished it.It was likely everything was warm, but Laurent didn’t seem to mind.He ate it eagerly, with very little concern for what he was actually putting in his mouth.

“Where would you like me to start?” Laurent asked.

“The moment I was no longer part of the story.”

“Ah, yes, when you so helpfully got knocked out.”

Damen glared at him, grimacing.He wanted to be angry with Laurent, but he had a point.There had to have been a way to win that fight and Damen had been too distracted by trying to get Laurent, that he’d been an idiot.Laurent had had a sword and was a capable fighter.There wouldn’t be a hole in Laurent’s leg if not for him.

Laurent sighed.“It’s not your fault, Damen.That’s not what I was saying.Take that self-deprecating expression off your face.”

“I…”

Laurent reached across the gap between them and laid a hand on either side of Damen’s face.“Look at me,” he murmured.Damen’s eyes flicked up to Laurent’s and saw blue fire.“I am alive and here with you.Even if it had been your fault, which it wasn’t, it wouldn’t matter, because I’m here.”

Maybe they were going to do this now.“What if you weren’t alive?” Damen whispered, the words barely audible.The pain came though in a crack in the middle of “alive”.He couldn’t quite meet Laurent’s eyes when he said it.

“What ifs are pointless,” Laurent said.He pressed his lips to Damen’s to soften the blow.

“Are they?” Damen said.“You’ve engaged in plenty yourself.”

“Have I?”

“Let’s see, there was the moment I was laying in bed, similar to the way you are now, and you said something about almost losing me and then there were all the moments we both imagined what could’ve been between us if I hadn’t killed Auguste.”

Laurent grimaced.Finally, he grabbed one of Damen’s hands and pressed it over his heart.The rhythmic pumping calmed Damen and Laurent smiled as he took Damen’s other hand and put it on his cheek.Without being asked, Damen ran a finger over Laurent’s bottom lip and Laurent’s heart beat faster underneath Damen’s hand.“See?I’m right here.Now, can I continue with my story?There is some rather important information in it.”

“I suppose,” Damen said, wryly.He traced the curve of Laurent’s cheekbone, the line of his jawbone, and then the dip in his collarbone.He was enjoying the subtle changes in the pace of Laurent’s heart.Only when he realized that Laurent wasn’t speaking, did he look back up from planning the path of his fingers.Laurent was staring at him, eyes dark, mouth open slightly.

“Whatever happened to your important story?”

“Oh, would you like to hear it?I really can’t tell, because you are being purposefully distracting.”

“Is this distracting you?” Damen’s fingers traced back and forth across Laurent’s collarbone, to his shoulder, and down one arm.

“Yes,” Laurent said, pushing the word out.

Damen grinned.“I’m terribly sorry.I didn’t know.”

Laurent rolled his eyes, shoving Damen’s hands away, and said, “Back to when you were helpfully knocked out.After you were no longer a threat, I was relatively easy to subdue.”

“Were you worried about me?”

“Stop interrupting my story, Damianos…anyway, they knocked the sword from my hand, tied me up, blindfolded me, gagged me, and took me to an abandoned house not far from the tavern where you found me.I only know that, of course, because they were idiots and ultimately decided to take the blindfold off and the gag out.

“It turns out there is quite a large price on my head and they were keeping me at the house until transport arrived to take me to whomever had placed the bounty.Of course, they had King Laurent of Vere in their possession and the bounty was only contingent on me being alive, not unharmed.That was when I sustained all of these injuries.That was also when they removed the gag because they wanted to hear me scream.”He said it matter-of-factly, as though it had happened to him before.Damen hadn’t ever heard the whole story about Govart, but he thought, perhaps, the situation had been very similar to this one.

Damen shivered through a wave of nausea and tried to shove the mental image away.He should have been there.He should have protected him.That was what he’d promised to do. 

Laurent continued with his story as though he didn’t know exactly what Damen was thinking.“I gave them what they wanted and then I managed to execute a rather fantastic faint.They didn’t suspect for a moment that I was faking.They just laughed and insulted me in unimaginative ways.Then they started talking.Did I mention they were idiots?” Laurent laughed, as though their idiotic nature somehow made the rest of the story bearable.

Damen sighed.“It wasn’t worth this, Laurent.”

“I’m fine, Damen, and yes, it was.They didn’t know why it was necessary for me to be alive — they complained about it profusely — and I don’t either, unless Guion wishes to publicly humiliate me, which works well in our favor.If he’s emotionally involved, there’s something to exploit.I also learned who put the price on my head.”

Damen sat up in his chair and Laurent grinned.“I thought that might get your attention.”

“Who is it?”

“I don’t actually know him, but I suspect you will.Lord Lycus.”

Damen clenched his fists.“I am going to kill that bastard in the slowest possible…” he trailed off, reveling in the fantasies of all the ways he could destroy this man.

“Who is he?”

“The only one it ever could’ve been,” Damen sighed, “I just didn’t suspect him because I don’t understand how he could possibly know Guion.But, he’s rich, he hates Veretians—his son died in the battle at Marlas and his wife died from grief—and I bet he’s not a fan of mine anymore.”

“Why not?”

“He’s like Makedon was, before he came to know you.”That was all Damen said and it was enough.Laurent nodded and sunk down into the bed.There was a light sheen of sweat on his forehead and one of his hands extended beneath the sheets to poke at the knife wound in his leg.

“You’re not going to tell me how you escaped?” Damen asked.

“That was easy once I managed to get a hand free.I waited for my transport to arrive and for half the men to disappear to discuss transportation logistics and then I riled up the remainder of the men to the point where they couldn’t decide if they wanted to fight me or each other and when one of them came close and punched me in the stomach, I grabbed the knife hanging from his belt and stabbed him in the neck.

“The others were growling at each other and didn’t seem to think they were being paid enough to risk dying, so I ran through a back door.That was the hard part.I was not in any shape for running and that’s ultimately why I was throwing up in an alley.”

“Do you think you would recognize them?” Damen asked.

Laurent tilted his head to the side and thought.“Voices, perhaps.Faces, no.They kept their masks on the entire time.They weren’t that stupid.”

“If we could find them, we could arrest and hang Lord Lycus for treason.”

Laurent nodded.“Add that to the list.Of course, there will be a right time to kill him and I don’t think it will be anytime soon, but there’s no harm in being prepared.”

Damen let out a long breath and then said, “I’m glad there was a back door.”

Laurent shrugged, “I would’ve found another way out if there hadn’t been.”

Blue eyes met brown and silently, they gazed at each other.Damen whispered, “I just want to hold you.Make sure every piece of you is there.”

Laurent continued to stare and then shifted in the infirmary bed and rolled onto his side, hissing lightly at the pain.He patted the bare mattress.

“I’m not going to fit.”

Laurent patted the bed again.

Damen sighed, cursing Laurent’s stubbornness, and carefully laid down, keeping his arms tight to his side and crossing his legs.The bed creaked dangerously, but didn’t break and Damen watched as Laurent curled closer and closer to the wall to give Damen space.

“I told you,” Damen sighed, moving to get up.

Laurent put a hand on his chest.He scooted away from the wall and right into Damen’s space, half of his body weight directly on top of Damen.

“That can’t be comfortable.”

Laurent burrowed his face into Damen’s neck and kissed it.He hummed lightly and whispered, “This is the most comfortable I’ve been all day.”

“Is it?”Damen couldn’t resist.He couldn’t ever resist, not in the moments where Laurent was being honest and open. 

“Nobody can hurt me here.”

The warmth in Damen’s chest bloomed and he wrapped his arms around Laurent, holding him close.It didn’t take long before Laurent was asleep against him, his warm breath tickling Damen’s skin.Damen’s arms were losing feeling and he was getting uncomfortably warm, but he wasn’t going to move.Laurent felt safe and Damen wasn’t going to take that away from him.

 

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep.  When Damen woke, Laurent was already awake, drawing circles on his chest and talking to Jokaste, who was sitting in the chair Damen had previously occupied.  She interrupted the conversation when she noticed his eyes open.

“Good morning,” she laughed.

“What time is it?” Damen grumbled.

“Late afternoon,” Jokaste replied.Then, “I thought Laurent was the injured one.”

Before Damen could reply, Laurent said, “Worrying about me must be emotionally draining.”

Jokaste nodded, grimacing slightly.“You could certainly say that.”

“Were you worried, Jokaste?” Laurent smiled wryly.

“That’s not what I…Damen was a wreck,” she murmured.

“Oh.”That was clearly something Laurent did not wish to talk about.The circles across Damen’s chest slowed and when their gazes inevitably met, Laurent’s eyes were brimming with emotion, most of it an apology.It struck Damen as ridiculous, but he knew that wasn’t a conversation Laurent would want to have in front of Jokaste, so he stayed silent.

“What are you doing here, Jokaste?” Damen asked.

“I wanted to see if there was anything I could do to help.”Then she gave Laurent a small smile and said, “And I wanted to make sure Laurent was alright.”

“So you were worried,” Laurent said.

Jokaste shrugged playfully, but her eyes were solemn.“Everyone was.Jord and Nikandros, too.Especially Jord.”

The honesty caught everyone by surprise and the silence that followed was awkward.Laurent wriggled away from Damen and sat up, leaning his shoulder against the wall.He ran his fingers through his hair and looked past Jokaste, gaze unfocused.Damen took the opportunity to shake some life back into his arm and to sit up as well.There wasn’t enough room on the bed for Laurent to completely extricate himself, their shoulders were still brushing, but Damen could sense what he wanted, so he stood and sat down on the floor beside the chair.

“I can move,” Jokaste murmured.

Damen shook his head.“You’re alright.

“Should I leave?”

“Did he give you anything to do?”

“We hadn’t gotten that far yet.I was testing the waters.”

“Just make sure things are running smoothly.Nikandros can help with that,” Damen said.“I’d also like you to be an intermediary.If there are any messages from my advisors or things that need to be decided or signed, I’d like you to bring them to me.You know what we want and what’s happening and I trust you to discern the important from the unimportant.”

“He doesn’t trust me,” Jokaste said, gesturing to Laurent.

“No, I don’t,” Laurent said.“Yes, I’m still here.”

“I can handle him.Go.”

Jokaste rose from the chair, kissed the top of Damen’s head and murmured a thank you into his hair.Then she left, leaving behind the faint trace of her flowery perfume.Damen remained on the floor and watched Laurent, who was avoiding his gaze.Normally, Damen would say something, try and get Laurent to talk to him, but this version of Laurent was so familiar to him that it was almost a relief to allow it to continue.It was like a reassurance that nothing about the newest trial had changed anything about Laurent all too drastically.He was still quiet, internal, and sharp-edged.

It also allowed a span of indulgent staring, one that Laurent couldn’t prevent unless he made eye contact and said something.Maybe it was a dangerous game to play, but Damen knew they were far past the point of Laurent ever doing anything to purposefully hurt Damen.

Even with the mottled bruise across his cheekbone and underneath his left eye, he was still eye-catching in the way water is when the sun is glistening on the ripples.Damen couldn’t discern why.The bruise should’ve ruined something fundamental, but it didn’t.Perhaps, it was the way Laurent held himself, head high, as though the bruise wasn’t even there.Perhaps, it was the untidiness of his hair, making him seem softer.Perhaps, it was simply the fact that Damen loved him more than he’d ever loved anything.It was strange to think his perception was so skewed.

“You would think my face would become uninteresting at some point,” Laurent finally said.

“I can be as stubborn as you.”

“Yes, I know.It’s infuriating.”

“Are you going to tell me what…all this,” Damen waved vaguely at Laurent and where he was sitting, “Is about?”

“It’s nothing.I’m just thinking.”

Damen stared down at his feet and said, “Right.”

“Tell me,” Laurent murmured, “Tell me what it was like.”

“I’m not going to pander to your masochism.”

“Why not?It’s not like it’s going anywhere.”

“Seriously?” Damen said, exasperatedly. He couldn’t prevent a flash of anger and he tried to keep it under control by placing his thumb on his temple and massaging circles.He had to remember to be patient.Nobody in Laurent’s life, at least—after Auguste died, anyway—had even given him that much.It was the least he could do.He had to remember that.The last thing he wanted was a fight.

“Please, Damen,” Laurent whispered.

“I will if you promise me that it’s not just because you want more reasons to beat yourself up over something that isn’t even your fault.”

“But it is.”

“How can you…” Damen exhaled loudly and turned his face away.He wasn’t going to fight.

“I was the one being reckless.I knew I could talk you into it, but I didn’t stop to think about the repercussions of my actions.I took us out of the city unarmed.It’s not a surprise that what happened, happened, and it left you alone and scared.I caused you pain.I hurt you.”

“No, you didn’t.Lord Lycus did.The thieves did.”

He could tell Laurent didn’t believe him. 

“I’ll make you a deal,” Damen said, “If you tell me how you felt when I knelt down beside you in the alley, I’ll tell you how I felt when you were missing.”

“What?”

“You may have been drugged last night and you may have mentioned something about having an indescribable feeling when you saw it was me beside you.You told me right after you told me that you loved me, so I have an inkling the feeling is a sentimental one.”

Damen had been counting on Laurent withdrawing and he did.What he hadn’t counted on was, a moment later, the sliver of a smile appearing, then growing into something truly savage.Laurent knew what Damen was doing, which meant he was going to call his bluff, however uncomfortable it might be for him.Laurent couldn’t resist an opportunity to beat someone at something.

“Like you said, lover, it was indescribable.”

“So was what I felt.”

Laurent’s eyes narrowed but his smile didn’t disappear.“I…”The smile left, his face mellowed, and his voice came out soft, “I wasn’t sure you’d still be looking for me, not so late at night, but I was sure that I was about to bleed out and I…I wasn’t going to see you again.Mostly, I was scared.I didn’t want to die alone,” Laurent said.His face had gone very still.

“I wasn’t ever going to stop looking for you,” Damen replied.

Laurent ignored that statement, “But then I saw you.Not your face, but a massive shadow.And I knew that walk, so I tried to shout and get your attention, but throwing up made that difficult and I was so sure you hadn’t heard me.It would be typical.I’d always expected to die alone, but…”

“You thought maybe you didn’t have to anymore,” Damen finished.

Laurent nodded.“You heard me, though.And then you were there and I couldn’t process anything other than your arms wrapping around me and the warmth and the feeling of safety.Until you held me too hard and it hurt and then I snapped out of it, because I wanted to live and you weren’t helping.I just…you keep being there, Damen, and it keeps surprising me.”

“Idiot,” Damen grinned.

“Your turn.”

Damen paused, trying to collect his thoughts.But he couldn’t land on an easy way to say it.So, instead, he let the words flow, hoping, eventually, he would end up somewhere that made sense.“I felt empty and hollow, worry filling in all that space.I don’t know how else to describe it.I imagined thousands of different scenarios, each one worse than the previous.But, mostly, I felt numb.Nothing was getting through to me, nothing was making me feel better, and…maybe that’s not the best way to explain.I hadn’t cried since I was ten and Kastor accused me of killing my mother.That’s not true anymore.”

Laurent held out a hand to Damen.Damen stood and moved to sit against the wall with Laurent.Settling his head on Damen’s shoulder, Laurent whispered, “I did.I hurt you.”

“No.”

“How are there people that do this?Love is just a word that makes causing people pain acceptable.I hurt Jord, Nikandros, and Jokaste, too.I don’t…I hate it.None of you deserve me.”

“Don’t say that to me again,” Damen said.“It’s insulting.I know exactly what I want and exactly what I deserve.I’m sorry if you have a problem with it being you.”

“But…”

“Laurent,” Damen sighed, “Love is a gift.I can’t take it back and I can’t force you to understand how valuable it is.All I know, is that none of us, not even Jokaste, regret giving it to you, nor do we expect anything in return.Why can’t you see that you deserve it?Not one of us has easily won affections, but you won them.That was entirely you.”

“How do I make myself feel that I deserve it?”

Damen removed his head from the top of Laurent’s and used his fingers to pull Laurent’s head up.Gently, he brushed his thumb over Laurent’s lips and watched the slow flush spread across his cheeks.“Tell yourself that you do.Let yourself believe it.”

Laurent’s eyebrows drew together and then he kissed Damen, not gently.Every emotion Laurent was feeling, passed into Damen’s lips, the shudders, the bites, the gasps for air charged with something other than physical desire.

“Are you done being masochistic?” Damen asked, when they pulled apart.

“For now.I think I’d like those drugs now.”

“I’ll fetch the physician.”

“You don’t have to stay here while I sleep.I’ll be fine.I can wake up without you here.You should get to sleep in an actual bed.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“Good,” Laurent smiled, “I don’t want you to.”

Damen smiled back and then left the room to find the physician.When he did, the physician was busy treating someone else.Damen waited, watching the process.There were others who offered to help him while he was waiting, but Damen remembered the physician’s warning and dismissed them.

“Yes?” the physician said, wiping his hands on his dark robe.

“Laurent would like something to help him sleep.”

“Very well.”The physician pulled a small bottle from his robes and gave it to Damen.“I made it this morning, just in case.There’s likely remnants of it still in his system, so make sure you tell him to only drink half.Any more than that and I can’t promise he’ll wake back up.”

“I will.Thank you.”

When Damen stepped back into the room, Laurent said, “That took you a while.”

“I’m only making sure you don’t die.”

“Kind of you.”

“Drink half,” Damen said, handing the bottle over.Laurent did as he was asked and then laid down, pulling the covers over his body.

“Incredible,” Laurent said, “This works very fast.”

“You mentioned that last night.”

There was a knock on the door.Laurent told them to enter, his voice slightly louder than normal.Damen laughed.He couldn’t help it.

Nikandros strode in, in full armor, and he smiled when he saw Laurent awake.“You look terrible, Your Highness.”

“Laurent.And, no, I don’t.I’m incapable of looking terrible.”

“He’s drugged,” Damen explained, when Nikandros shot him a quizzical look.“Why are you here?”

“Jord and I think we have a lead on the missing children.We wanted permission to follow it and to ask if you wanted to come along.”

“Go,” Damen said, “But I won’t be coming with you.”

“The plan, Damen,” Laurent began, “Relies entirely upon one of us finding them and directly handing the children back to their parents.A king lowering his status enough to care about the children of their subjects.It doesn’t work if you stay here with me.You have to go.I will not have you ruining my plan.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“You’d go if I wasn’t lying in this bed.”

“I would,” Damen smiled.“But you are, and I’m much more sentimental than you.Logic never wins with me.Find them, Nikandros.”

Nikandros bowed.Then, he said, his voice slightly strained, “I am glad you are alright, Laurent.I think I might’ve missed you if you’d died.”

Laurent simply shook his head, his mouth curled down, and Nikandros nodded in return.“I don’t think I’ll be saying that again,” he said.That made Laurent smile and then they were grinning at each other and Damen had to practically shove Nikandros out the door.

“Go to sleep, Laurent.”

“Not until you leave and find those children.”

“I bet I can outlast you.”

“I hate you,” Laurent sighed, shutting his eyes.There was a moment of silence and Damen thought Laurent had fallen asleep, until his mouth moved and he said, “Can I ask you something?Wait, of course I can.Are you ever scared that it won’t always be like this?That one morning you’ll wake up and ask yourself why?”

“No.This is it for me.It’s all there is.”

“You are the bravest man I know.”

“Laurent…”

“Alright, alright,” he slurred.“I’m going to sleep.Make sure there’s food when I wake up.I’ll be hungry.”

 

A week later, the physician released Laurent to Damen’s care.Laurent was asked to remain in bed for at least another week, but Damen suspected that was going to be more difficult than even he could imagine.Laurent was leaning up against his shoulder as they walked across the palace to their chambers and he was complaining.

“I’m perfectly capable of walking by myself.”

“Yes, you’ve mentioned that at least ten times.”

“It’s worth repeating.”

“Did you conveniently forget that I already let you try?And that you couldn’t?”Laurent had made it about five steps before the leg he’d been stabbed in gave way and Damen had had to catch him.

Laurent frowned and said, “I think I could do it now.Let me try.”

“No.”

“Don’t you love me?”

“Nice try,” Damen said, clutching Laurent closer.Laurent struggled against him and Damen sighed.“If you keep trying to escape, I will pick you up and carry you over my shoulder.”

Laurent slumped against him.“I have things to do.”

“Yes.Lying in bed.”

“Nikandros and Jord didn’t find the damn children, which are becoming a bigger headache than I intended; I don’t know what Jokaste is doing, which is unacceptable; and I need to move.I also need to be around someone else.I might have to kill you if I spend one more second with you.”

“Trust me, the feeling is mutual.”

“Then let me go,” Laurent said. 

“No.”

Laurent groaned and leaned his head back on Damen’s shoulder.When his entire body went still, Damen said, “Whatever you’re thinking, it won’t work.Maybe you can escape, but you can’t get anywhere fast enough to have the freedom last.”

They had made it to the rooms and Damen smiled in relief.He hurried over to the bed, practically carrying Laurent, and helped him in.Then, he tossed a book at Laurent’s face and grinned like a child when it actually made contact, Laurent’s hand not coming up fast enough.“Why don’t you read?” Damen said.

“I’ve been reading all week.”

“And I don’t care.”Damen turned away from Laurent, ran his hand through his hair, and then called for a guard.One strolled into the room and Damen asked him to fetch Jokaste.He needed out of this room as badly as Laurent did.Thankfully, he could actually leave, unlike Laurent.All he needed was someone to make sure Laurent stayed in bed like he was supposed to.

Damen sat in a chair, his leg bouncing up and down.Laurent had picked up the book and opened it, but Damen could tell he wasn’t reading.He was thinking, putting all of his brain power into finding a way out of the bed and out of the room.Damen knew that no matter what Laurent came up with, he would be able to keep him in the bed.He hoped that Jokaste was going to be able to do the same, because he had to leave for a couple of hours.There was no question about that.

The guard returned and said that Jokaste was busy, but she would come as quickly as she could.Damen thought about going out to the balcony and watching the sea until Jokaste arrived, but he knew that if he took his eyes off of Laurent for even the blink of an eye, Laurent would be gone.

“I’ll blow you if you…”

“No.”

“I’ll spend a day telling you every disgustingly romantic thought I’m thinking.”

Damen hated the way that worked on him.Before he’d even thought about it, the word yes had almost left his mouth.Laurent sensed the hint of weakness and said, “I’ll give you a little teaser.While most of what I’m thinking about you right now involves weapons, there is something utterly endearing about the way your lip is curling right now.It’s begging to be kissed.”

Damen groaned and plugged his ears with his fingers.If he couldn’t hear Laurent, he could make it until Jokaste arrived.

And it worked.All he could hear were the small rumblings of noise that was Laurent talking.He couldn’t make out any of the words.

He only unplugged his ears when there was a tap on his shoulder and Jokaste was laughing down at him.“He’s not talking anymore.”

“I need to leave.Would you look after him?Make sure he doesn’t leave that bed.That is your only job.I don’t care what he promises you.Ignore it.If you have to plug your ears, do it.”

“I’m sure I can manage,” she said.

Relieved, Damen stood and hugged her.“You are saving my life right now.And his.How’s Phaedrus?”

“He’s wonderful.I brought him to a meeting today and threatened to wake him up whenever someone didn’t listen to what I was saying.It was very effective.”

“Thank you for going to those.I know they’re awful.They’re completely pointless and, yet, my advisors insist.”

Jokaste shrugged.“I like them.”Then, “Go.Don’t worry about Laurent and I.I’m sure we’ll have a lovely time.”Laurent didn’t seem to think so, judging by his expression.In fact, he looked distinctly like a petulant adolescent.His arms were crossed and he was glaring at both Damen and Jokaste.

“Good luck,” Damen said and then strolled quickly from the room before Laurent could stop him or before he could reconsider the offer that had been made.He went to the training arena and told a guard to find Nikandros and Jord and bring them here.Damen figured they needed a break from watching the market, just as much as Damen needed a break from Laurent.

When they arrived, shoulders bumping against each other they were walking so close together, Nikandros said, “I’m not sure I like you enough for this, Damen.I’ve spent a week— _a week_ —of my life doing nothing.I think you and Laurent should take a day every once in awhile just so you know how much we’re suffering.”

“It’s not all that bad,” Jord said.

“I can’t believe you’re betraying me.”

Damen laughed and said, “Unfortunately, Nikandros, Laurent and I have better things to do and that’s our prerogative as royalty.”

“Isn’t that nice?” Nikandros said, followed by, “Why’d you bring us here?”

“I thought we could do some friendly sparring.”

Nikandros flopped to the ground, arms and legs spread wide.Jord stared down at him, half-amused and half-exasperated.“You’re being dramatic, Nik.”

“We have spent a week standing in the heat, watching people do boring, mundane activities, without enough water and food, and now he wants us to sweat some more just so he can be entertained.I’m not being dramatic, I’m making a point.I don’t intend on moving from this very spot.”

Damen tried not to laugh, figuring it wouldn’t help.Jord rolled his eyes, kicked Nikandros lightly in the side, and then pulled his sword out of its scabbard.“I’ll spar with you, Damen.I’ve never fought against you and I’d like to.And Nik,” Jord said, turning back to his lover, “I suggest moving or one of us will almost certainly step on you.”

“I’m not moving.”

“As long as you’re aware of the risk.” 

Damen and Jord moved to the other end of the training arena, just to be safe, and without preamble, their swords met, metal scraping down metal. 

Jord was no match for him, but it was a good fight.Damen wasn’t bored and by the end, he was sweating and breathing hard.Jord, on the other hand, could barely grip his sword.He thanked Damen and then went over to Nikandros and laid on the ground beside him.

“Want to go a round, Nikandros?”

“No,” Nikandros said.

Damen sighed and strolled over to them, sitting down at their feet.Somewhere between putting his sword away and walking here, Nikandros had rolled into Jord’s body and was nuzzling at his neck.Jord was laughing and trying to shove him off.

“How’s Laurent?” Jord asked, once he’d managed to keep Nikandros at bay.

“He thinks he’s fine.He’s driving me completely insane, actually.”

“That’s what most of us experience every time we talk to him,” Nikandros replied.“I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Yes, well, usually I find it endearing.”

“You are a strange man,” Nikandros said. 

“It’s hard to argue,” Jord said. 

“Oh, now you’re on my side.”

“I’m always on your side.Unless you’re wrong, of course.”

“I’m never wrong.”

“You’re such a liar.”

“Would you two stop flirting?” Damen asked.

“Irritating, isn’t it?” Nikandros said.

Damen sighed and shifted so that he was lying down too.The sky was a bright endless blue, Nikandros and Jord were still bickering beside him, and Laurent was alive.They even knew who was plotting against them.It finally felt like maybe the worst of it was over.Hope bloomed.The dream of a combined kingdom hadn’t felt this attainable in some time.

Jord managed to pull Damen into the conversation and the three of them laid there talking until the sun was setting.At that point, Damen excused himself.Jokaste had suffered long enough.

When he arrived, Jokaste was sitting on the bed across from Laurent and they were playing cards.Laurent still looked miserable, but Damen could tell he was enjoying the game and Jokaste’s company.When he looked up and saw Damen, Laurent smiled.“Welcome back, lover.I’m glad you’ve decided you can still be around me.”

Damen turned around and acted like he was going to walk back the way he’d come, which was met with a mild noise of protest.He stopped right in front of the door and faced Laurent.“You are going to be the death of me.”

“We already knew that.Thank you for the game, Jokaste.I assume you have to go back to Phaedrus.”

She nodded.“I’ve been away too long.”She stood and walked to the door.Before she left, she said, “Next time, I’m going to beat you.”

“I’ve heard dreaming can be pleasant, not that I’d know.”

Jokaste laughed lightly and left.Damen removed his sweaty chiton and threw on one of his white Veretian undershirts and crawled into bed beside Laurent.He wasn’t tired, but the least he could do was join Laurent in his imprisonment.Jokaste had had the right idea in that sense.

“Did you have a good time with Jokaste?” he asked.

“Yes.”

Damen pulled Laurent against him and sighed into his neck.He smelled nice and he was delightfully bed warm.All of Damen’s irritation faded away and he murmured, “It’s nice to see you.”

“It’s nice to see you, too.I suggest we never spend that much time in each other’s company again, though.I’m not that obsessed with you.”

“It turns out I’m not either.I thought I was.It’s a pleasant surprise.”

Laurent laughed and swiveled in Damen’s arms.“So…how do you feel now about letting me out of bed?”

“No.”

“The offer still stands.”

Damen groaned and tried not to imagine what Laurent was thinking about.It was so utterly tempting.“I’m not going to accept it tonight,” he said, finally, “I want a full day if I’m trading for a day.”

“You’re too smart for your own good.”

“I’ve just learned how to think like you.”

“Well,” Laurent sighed, “At least I’ll be able to leave bed tomorrow.That’s something.”

“I have not given in.”

“No, but you will.I know what you like.”

“Do you think inherent within the definition of bed rest is no sex?” Damen asked.

“Yes.”

“Goddammit.”

“You could always be a hypocrite.I’m up for it,” Laurent said.

Damen shut his eyes for a moment and then said, “I’m going to go to sleep, even though I don’t need to, because I’m about to do a number of things I will regret later.I would ask you to do the same.You need the rest, anyways.”

“Or I could try and seduce you.”

“No.”

Laurent slid up Damen’s body, so that their faces were on the same level, and he nibbled on Damen’s ear, his hand passing over Damen’s chest and down to his hip bone, where Laurent rubbed small circles, gradually moving inwards.Damen couldn’t help the burst of laughter as he grabbed Laurent’s hand and tried to shove him away. 

Laurent was laughing too, his eyes bright, and Damen kissed him softly.“I love you, Laurent.Good night.”

Laurent moved his mouth to Damen’s neck and Damen rolled so he was on top of Laurent, pinning his hands up above his head.“You are going to stop or, somehow, I will resist your offer and you won’t get to leave this bed for anything the entire week.”

“Fine,” Laurent said.

Damen rolled off of him, gathered him right back into his arms, and closed his eyes.He fell asleep to Laurent babbling quietly about the injustice of bed rest and the confidence he had that he knew better than a physician.


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all. Thank you so so so so so much. This has been the coolest and I can tell it will continue to be that way.  
> Shout out to my beautiful beta readers. I don't deserve your awesomeness.  
> I hope you enjoy the chapter...it's a fun one.

“Good morning, my love.”

Damen hadn’t been entirely awake yet, but those words jerked him into consciousness.He’d been nuzzling Laurent’s ear with his nose lazily, but now he was half up in bed, on his elbows, startling Laurent into a similar position.

“Did I say something?” Laurent smiled.

Damen stared at him, mouth open slightly.He tried to think of a response, but came up empty.Laurent leaned forward and kissed him, his tongue playfully teasing Damen’s bottom lip.The kisses that followed were slow, open-mouthed, and dizzying.Damen hummed happily and said, against Laurent’s lips, “I wish you would wake me up like this every morning.”

“I bet,” Laurent laughed, wriggling out from underneath Damen.He got out of bed, pulling a sheet with him, and wrapped it around himself.The white against Laurent’s fair skin and blonde hair was stunning and Damen practically forgot Laurent wasn’t supposed to leave bed.He remembered at the very last second and tugged Laurent back down before he got away.

“So close,” Laurent sighed, shifting back into Damen.“Stay in bed with me?”

Damen kicked himself when he realized what Laurent was doing.“You’re giving me a little taste of what my day could be like if I let you leave bed, aren’t you?I knew it was too good to be true.”

“Just imagine,” Laurent said, “That could continue all day.I only need one word from your lips and it’s yours.”

“You are the worst,” Damen groaned, falling face first into his pillow.He didn’t move, even as he could feel Laurent moving closer and closer until his lips were right at Damen’s ear. 

“I’m thinking some interesting things right now.”

Damen bit the pillow and attempted to will Laurent out of his mind.His words, his smell, his breath against his ear, his hand slowly creeping up the back of Damen’s shirt and tracing the scars on his back.Unfortunately, it was similar to basking in the sun.The only way to escape the warmth was to go into the shade.He swiveled hard, Laurent landing on his chest, a breath of surprise leaving him, and said, “How are you feeling?An honest answer.”

“That’s too much information, I’m afraid.”

“I…”

Laurent grinned, sensing he’d won. 

“You aren’t at all phased by having to spend the day being romantic?”The smile wavered and Damen laughed, slipping his arms around Laurent.“There’s something very reassuring about the fact you’re going to hate this arrangement almost as much as I do.”

“You mean…” Laurent said, trailing off expectantly.

Damen sighed.“Yes.I’ll allow it.But if anything feels wrong, you have to promise me that you’ll return to bed.”

“I promise.”It was said offhand as Laurent sprung from the bed.He winced slightly as his left leg hit the ground, but he shuttered the expression quickly, and he started getting dressed.

“What are your plans for the day?”

“Today is the day we officially become one kingdom, Damen.Well, not entirely.A similar document will need to be signed in Vere as well, but I think we’ll declare it to the people tonight, if that’s alright with you, of course.”

“Excuse me?”

“Did you really think I was lying in bed doing nothing?An exchange rate has been set up for currencies and a common currency has been decided upon, to slowly be released into the economy, gradually weaning both of our economies off our own.Educators are prepared to travel and help Akielons learn Veretian and Veretians learn Akielon.All things will be set in motion with our announcement.”

“Yes, but…I just didn’t realize it was all happening so fast.”

“Better fast than slow, at this point.”

“I actually wanted to discuss returning to Vere with you,” Damen said.“I feel that you’d be safer there while our subjects are getting used to the idea.The sooner the better.”

Laurent said, “But what about the missing children?And your safety?I do not want you dead anymore than you do me, darling.”

“Lots of endearments,” Damen observed.

“I thought I’d try them out while I’m being romantic.Perhaps I’ll find one I like saying.You never know.Does it bother you?”

Damen shook his head.“No.It’s nice.”

“I knew you’d think so.”A long pause and then, “I will leave, but not until the children have been found.I’ve spent a considerable amount of time trying to find them.I will not have it go to waste.Can you imagine telling Nikandros and Jord that we were leaving before they were safe?Nikandros would likely take the opportunity to punch me.He’s wanted to long enough.”

“Then we had better find those children,” Damen sighed, stretching in bed and yawning. 

“We will.I have complete confidence in us.”

Damen got out of bed and joined Laurent by the wardrobe, swiftly putting on a chiton.He turned and pondered Laurent as he did up lace after lace and then said, “I think, perhaps, this is going to be a very strange day.”

“Mm?”

“I don’t often get this version of you.”

“It’s not entirely me,” Laurent admitted.“But to leave bed; anything.Hold still.Your hair is a disaster.”Laurent reached up and ruffled through Damen’s curls, straightening them out.Then he lingered, playing with some of the strands, winding them around a finger and tugging gently.He flushed lightly and murmured, “I love your hair, you know.Though, I think it needs a trim.”

“Trust your compliments to come with suggestions.”

Laurent smiled and dug one finger into the corner of Damen’s mouth, the corner that was turned up slightly.“And I love this, this half-smile you do.It’s my weakness, in fact.I could never be angry with you if you were smiling like that.”

“I take everything I said back.This was entirely worth it.”

“Glad to hear it,” Laurent said.“Could you work on getting us some food?”

“Of course,” Damen said.When he returned, he watched Laurent limp across the room to the desk.“I know I’ve let you out of bed, but…”

“I’m not going to do anything I can’t do, Damen.I’m not an idiot.That would be you.”

Laurent started writing something and he was halfway through a sentence when Anais hopped up on the desk and began walking all over his parchment, before settling down to watch the waggling of the pen.After a moment, Laurent resumed writing and Anais began swatting at the quill.Laurent made a valiant attempt to continue writing, but he made a growl of irritation when the parchment was ruined by a large jerk of the quill and then he laughed softly as he tickled Anais with the feather.Anais folded in on herself, so she could see better, and it wasn’t long before she was running in circles on the top of the desk.

When Laurent dropped the quill, Anais hit it off the desk and her playing moved to the ground as she batted it around the floor herself.Laurent watched with a quiet smile and then he glanced up at Damen, who had been watching the interaction vexedly.

“I think you should try petting her,” Laurent said.“She’s used to you by now.You won’t get scratched.And if you do, I’m sure your barbarian skin can handle it.”

“She’s more terrifying than you,” Damen said.

“No.She’s not.I just don’t get opportunities to terrify you anymore.It’s an unfortunate result of falling in love with you.”

Damen slowly approached Anais, who had stopped playing with the quill and was now licking her paws leisurely.She went still as she realized Damen’s intent, but she didn’t run.Instead, she walked forward and ran her tail across his legs.Laurent smiled.

Crouching down, Damen ran a hand along her spine.She arched into it, then turned and rammed the side of her face into Damen’s hand.A soft purr rose and Damen grinned, running another hand down her body.

He could’ve done it all day.But Anais quickly grew tired of the attention and jumped up onto the bed, curled up and lay down.When Damen tried to pet her there, her tail began whipping back and forth, and she bit him gently, as a warning.Laurent’s eyebrows were raised and Damen sighed.“She’s alright, I suppose.”

“I love you,” Laurent laughed.

“That’s all I get?I just touched your monster.”

“That’s all I’m thinking.On repeat.”

“I love you, too,” Damen said.Laurent grimaced and turned back to the desk.Damen walked up behind him, encircled his arms around Laurent’s shoulders, leaned his chin on Laurent’s head, and watched as he wrote.He was copying the same message on to at least ten pieces of parchment.They were for riders. _Akielos and Vere are one kingdom._

“We still need a name,” Damen murmured.

“The easiest road would be one kingdom absorbing the other.”

“And I suppose you think we should call it Vere?” Damen asked.

“I said that was the easiest.Not the best.Your people would not appreciate living in a place called Vere and mine would not appreciate Akielos.We need something that combines them.Preferably something phonetically pleasing.”

“We could just hyphenate the two.Easy to remember.”

“That’s boring,” Laurent sighed.Before Laurent could continue with what Damen was sure were countless suggestions that were better than Damen’s, there was a knock on the door.Jokaste strolled in with Phaedrus in her arms. 

She contemplated the sight she was greeted with and said, “You’re out of bed.”

Laurent nodded.“I made a deal.Were you coming to keep me company?”

“No.I was actually looking for a willing couple of babysitters and I figured you’d be able since you couldn’t leave bed, but I see that I’ve been misinformed.”Jokaste smiled at Damen and said, “I’m surprised I’m better at refusing him than you are.”

“Are you really?” Laurent said, skeptically.

“No,” Jokaste laughed, “But he was so determined.”

Damen glared at both of them.“We would be happy to watch Phaedrus for a while, Jokaste.Laurent isn’t supposed to be straining himself, anyway.”He shot Laurent a smug smile.

“Excellent.It won’t be long.”She brought the child to Damen and slipped him into Damen’s arms.Before she left, she poked Phaedrus’ nose and murmured, “I love you, darling.Mother will be back soon.In the meantime, Uncle Damen will take good care of you.”

“Yes he will,” Damen replied, already deep under the child’s influence, as though they’d been together all this time.”

“Thank you,” Joksate said and then she left with a small wave to Laurent.

“Actually,” Laurent said, standing, “This reminds me.There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Hmm,” Damen murmured, as he ran a finger over Phaedrus’ delicate eyelashes.Laurent stole him from Damen’s arms, rolling his eyes.

“You’ll want to hear it, Damen.”

“What?” Damen asked.His arms felt empty and cold.Laurent laughed when he saw the forlorn look on Damen’s face. 

“I’ll give him back if you promise to listen.”

“I promise,” Damen said, quickly.

Laurent returned Phaedrus.“Enguerran managed to find Halvik and he’s sent me a letter.It arrived yesterday.”

Damen’s head jerked up.Laurent’s mouth quirked, but he didn’t continue.Only when Damen said, desperately, “What did the letter say?” did he bother to respond.

“Kashel is pregnant and she’s confident that the child is yours.You, dearest, are to be a father.”

Damen smiled and then grimaced and then smiled again.Laurent watched the transformations with a quizzical brow and Damen said, “You’ve managed to find a pet name I don’t like.”

“That’s what you’re thinking about?”

“I…” Damen stopped and seriously considered what Laurent had said.The words still hadn’t managed to take hold and settle in his mind.He’d already experienced what it felt like to be a father, but it hadn’t been true.It had still changed Damen and the addition of Phaedrus into the equation had further fixed the change, but this…this was real, this was immediate.Something shifted in Damen and he was speechless.He was a father.

Laurent moved closer and slipped his hands over Damen’s neck.“I don’t know how involved you will be in the child’s life, but I promise you, Damen, you will be an excellent father.I have proof and it’s extensive.Stop worrying.”

Was that what he was doing?Probably.Laurent would know.“Did they say whether or not I would be able to meet the child?”

“Negotiations are in progress.They’re hopeful,” Laurent smiled.“Halvik likes me.Eyelashes like a cow and all.”

Damen laughed, set Phaedrus down on the bed carefully, dipped, grabbed Laurent underneath his thighs and hauled him up so that his legs were around Damen’s waist.“We’re going to be parents.”

He could feel Laurent go still, but his smile didn’t disappear.It was a long time before he said anything, his eyes soft.Then he leaned forward, touching his forehead to Damen’s, and whispered, “We’re going to be parents.”

Damen had to kiss him and so he did, Laurent’s lips pliant under his.When he pulled away, breaths coming faster, Laurent said, “You are very good at that.”

“What am I good at?”

Laurent hit him in the back of the head.“Don’t abuse the power I’ve given you.”

Damen stared, his smile growing.

“Kissing, Damen.”A pause, “Bastard.”

Phaedrus started crying and Laurent sighed, unhooking his legs from around Damen.“Too bad.I was contemplating fucking you.”

Damen groaned, releasing Laurent.“We could…”

“You’re going to fuck in front of a crying baby?” Laurent said, smiling lightly.

“I hate you.”Damen picked up Phaedrus and bounced him, making shushing noises.“I’m sorry I let you go,” he murmured, “But I’m back.You’re safe.”

Laurent came up behind Damen and peered over his shoulder at Phaedrus.“He wants you to stop crying,” Laurent said.Then, much more softly, “But you are safe.That wasn’t a lie.”Laurent’s cheek pressed up against Damen’s neck and they stood like that for a while, until Phaedrus had stopped crying.

When he did, Damen whispered, “Go.Go do what you need to do.I’ll watch Phaedrus until Jokaste gets back and then I’ll come find you.”

Laurent didn’t say anything and watched Damen carefully.“Go,” Damen said again.“There’s no point keeping you confined to a room if you’re out of bed anyway.I would prefer you to be productive, if you’re not healing.”

Laurent kissed Damen’s neck, lips lingering over his pulse for a moment.“Thank you,” he murmured. 

“What are you thinking?” Damen asked, because he could.No, that wasn’t it.It was because he could ask and get a truthful response.

“That I love you.I’m just not sure how many times in a day I can say that and maintain some level of dignity, so I didn’t.”

A shiver went down Damen’s spine and his stomach twisted.The smile that followed couldn’t be helped and Damen said, “I want you to say it every time you think it.I will never get tired of hearing it.”

“I love you, then.”

“I love you,” Damen grinned. 

Laurent smiled shyly.“I don’t get tired of hearing it either.Now, I’m going, before I have to throw myself from the balcony.”

“I’d stop you.”

“You could try.”

“Tear them apart, sweetheart,” Damen said.

“Oh, I will.”

Laurent strolled from the room and Damen sat on the edge of the bed, cradling Phaedrus.He picked up a book from Laurent’s bedside table and held it open with one hand.Then he began reading aloud.It was in Veretian, but Damen saw no issues in Phaedrus being able to speak both languages.He would be expected to, anyway.It wasn’t as if he hadn’t heard it before, either.He and Laurent largely spoke in Veretian, after all.

About ten pages later, Jokaste entered.Damen finished the page he was on and then smiled, handing Phaedrus back.

“I walked by Laurent on the way here,” Jokaste said, “And he actually acknowledged my existence.”

“Really.”

“It was with a sneer, but…”

Damen laughed.“I’ll tease him about it.”

“Good,” Jokaste said.

They walked out of the room today and Jokaste branched off towards the gardens as Damen went to search for Laurent.

He ended up being very easy to find.Damen figured he was in one of the smaller meeting rooms in the palace and at the second he checked, Damen heard shouting coming through the door into the hallway.Numerous voices were shouting, actually.Not a single one belonged to Laurent, but Damen knew that only one person in the entire castle could incite anger like that.Damen didn’t even bother knocking, he simply walked in.

All of his advisors, the kyroi, and Nikandros were in the room.Laurent was at the head of the table, staring casually at his fingernails.Nikandros looked as though he wanted to plug his ears and he was glaring at Laurent openly.When they saw Damen, the advisors stopped shouting and sat back down in their chairs.Laurent waggled his fingers in a wave and Nikandros’ shoulders fell in a relieved exhale.

“What is going on?” Damen asked.

One advisor, a hairy man named Cletus, said, “Exalted, we’ve been given this document,” he paused in his speech to wave a piece of parchment above his head, “to sign and ratify.It says you and this Veretian…His Highness, wish to combine Vere and Akielos into one kingdom called Verlos.Not only is that an awful name, but…”

Damen raised a hand, silencing him.“His desire is my desire.That is awful, though, Laurent.”

“Do you have a better name?”

“Not prepared.”

“That’s too bad,” Laurent said.

“What about We’re Stupid and In Love and We Realize This Is a Fucking Bad Idea But We Don’t Care?” Nikandros murmured.

Damen turned his gaze to Nikandros and it took only a beat for Nikandros to lower his head and look ashamed.“What I meant to say,” Nikandros said, “Is the Kyros of Delpha stands behind him and all of you should as well.”

“And why’s that?” the Kyros of Sicyon said.

Nikandros stood and stared the man down.“Because, His Highness,” he gestured behind him towards Laurent, “Can make you and it won’t be pretty.And because your king is asking you to trust him and you damn well should.Where’s your loyalty?”

“Make me?” the man said.

Nikandros sighed.“Honestly, he’s dangerous.You should really believe me.”

The Kyros of Sicyon turned to Laurent and said, “What will you do to me if I don’t sign?”

Laurent continued staring at his fingernails as he spoke.“There are a number of things I could do.I could threaten to have you whipped or to find your family and murder them or take away your title, but, unfortunately, my husband won’t let me do any of those things.He prefers to inspire loyalty through love.Ridiculous, really.”

“So you can’t do anything.Is that what you’re telling me?”The man had a smug smile on his face.Laurent looked up from his fingernails at Damen and smiled.The panic that this ultimatum couldn’t be solved disappeared.Laurent had something else.

“No.What would win me your loyalty?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you sure?We can revert to the earlier options.I can handle the wrath of my husband if it comes to it.I have no qualms causing you pain.Or maybe revealing a certain piece of information you don’t want known.In regards to your sister, of course.”

The man paled.“Exalted,” he said, turning to Damen, “This man cannot be allowed both Akielos and Vere.I understand that you love him,” the look on his face very clearly said he did not, “But he’s using you.Have you listened to all those manipulations?That’s his nature and I can’t allow you to risk the safety of Akielos in this manner.”Many of the other faces around the table were nodding along.

Damen sighed, “How many times do I have to tell people that I love him and he loves me and that I’m extremely confident he is not using me?”

“The rest of your life, probably, my friend,” Nikandros said.

“Very helpful, Nikandros,” Laurent said.Nikandros shot him a private smile, one he usually reserved for Damen.That gesture made Damen’s chest warm and suddenly, he knew what had to be done to convince these people.

“If Laurent was able to persuade you his love for me is genuine, would you sign the document?Perhaps, if Nikandros testified to the truth of it as well?”

The advisors and kyroi were suspicious, but most seemed willing to allow that to happen, likely because they were confident they couldn’t be convinced.Both Laurent and Nikandros, on the other hand, were glaring at Damen.

“But I had threats prepared for all of them, Damen,” Laurent said, faking a childish whimper.

“I don’t want to admit anything to anyone,” Nikandros growled.

“Both of you are going to do as I say,” Damen said, the order firm in his voice. 

Nikandros sighed and nodded.Laurent was very still, but he nodded stiffly.Then he said, “I’ll have you know, nothing I’m thinking about you right now is particularly pleasant.This might be more difficult for me than you imagine.”

“Channel this morning, then.”

Laurent let his hands fall down to his lap and he scooted forward in his chair.Glancing at all the rapt faces around him, he said, “I hope nobody has any pressing matters for the next hour or so.This could take a while.”And then he launched into the story, the entire story, the one they’d only shared in parts with the public.He talked of Damen arriving as a slave in Arles, of his hatred toward the man who’d killed his brother.The story was familiar and worn and Damen tuned most of it out, choosing instead to thumb wrestle Nikandros in the corner.But, Laurent began to recount details even Damen himself hadn’t heard.

After he’d reached the rooftop chase in Nesson, he began to explain how all of his prejudices against Akielos and Damianos himself were constantly being challenged.He talked of moments when he realized he was having a good time, more than a good time, with the man who killed his brother.Also sprinkled in were details about Damen’s attractiveness, Damen’s ability to talk him down, the growing need to talk to Damen every day in order to prevent himself from going insane, the hope he began to have that not only could he beat the Regent, but that someone other than Auguste cared about what happened to him.Laurent didn’t skip over a single part, not the kiss on the battlements, or the first night they’d made love.Nor did he spare the details of how he’d felt when that happened.It was so intensely personal that Damen couldn’t stop blushing and Nikandros’ mouth was hanging open, their thumb wrestling entirely forgotten.Everyone listening was equally shocked and no one interrupted Laurent.No one wanted to.The story he was spinning was beautiful, because it was true.Damen couldn’t stop staring at the head raised high, the slightly shaking hands, but the sure voice.He was showing Damen’s people the real Laurent and it was even more powerful than Damen had ever imagined.

It was a love story.Nobody in the room could deny that and when Laurent finally finished, it was completely silent.

Nikandros was the one who broke it.“I don’t think my testimony is necessary.But, I will say this: he’s a good man and he will take care of both Vere and Akielos or…Verlos.”

Three of the kyroi stood and walked around the table, wrenching the document from the Kyros of Sicyon’s hand.Without saying a word, they signed.That inspired almost everyone else to do the same and Damen went to stand beside Laurent.He put his hand on Laurent’s shoulder and murmured, “You didn’t have to do things my way.”

Laurent shrugged, but he didn’t say anything and Damen sensed it was because he was embarrassed.Not that Laurent would show any outward signs of such an emotion.

“I meant thank you,” Damen said.

“Anything for you,” Laurent sighed, reaching up and putting his hand on top of Damen’s.“Did you like my embellishments?You were looking a little flustered.”

“I just…wasn’t expecting it.”

“Predictability is never my desire.”

“I know,” Damen chuckled, squeezing his shoulder.“I can’t believe they’re actually signing.”

Laurent smiled.It was exactly like the smile he’d given Damen when they’d won Ravenel. 

Nikandros joined them and said, “Can we please change the name?”

“You are very perturbed about the name,” Laurent responded, “I actually quite like it.”

“Dare I say King Laurent has abysmal taste?” Nikandros said.

“I like it,” Damen replied.

“No, you don’t,” Nikandros sighed, “You’re just in love with him.Your opinion shouldn’t count.”

“Alas, my friend, we’re the kings.Our word is law.”

Nikandros grumbled to himself, but admitted defeat.They all watched the procession of advisors and kyroi sign the paper, until the only one left standing was the Kyros of Sicyon, a look of utter displeasure on his face.He clearly felt betrayed and Damen could tell he wasn’t going to give in without a fight.It was less an issue with Laurent now and more a matter of pride.Laurent’s smile changed, growing sly and mischievous, and he whispered to Damen, “Can I threaten this one?Please?”

“If you must.”Damen tried to sound disapproving, but didn’t quite manage it.Nikandros grumbled louder, the words now distinct to Damen’s ear.Most of it involved derogatory comments about both him and Laurent’s relationship.

“I can hear you, you know,” Damen said.That shut Nikandros up instantly.

“If you don’t sign that piece of paper,” Laurent said, “I will tell everyone I see today about your sister.For a family such as yours, I’m sure it would be a disgrace if the information got out.”

The Kyros of Sicyon sneered and both Damen and Nikandros flinched when he said, “I’m calling your bluff, you Veretian whore.”

“Well, now, I could sentence you to death for that,” Laurent smiled.“But I don’t think I will.Are you sure you’d like me to continue?”

Damen shook his head furiously at the Kyros.Laurent wasn’t bluffing.He knew better than anyone that it was best to let Laurent win sometimes, even before you’d played all your cards.This man didn’t have a single winning hand.His eyes had flicked up to Damen’s in his deliberation and Damen almost laughed in relief, when the man’s shoulders lowered and he went to sign the document.

“Damn,” Laurent said, “I was really hoping he’d let me continue.”

“Tell me later?”

“I suppose that will have to do.”

“You two disgust me,” Nikandros murmured.

“Surely not?I’m your greatest friend,” Damen teased.

“I’m leaving,” Nikandros said.He strode to the document, signed it, and then left the room, shaking his head.Laurent was smirking at his retreating figure.

Once everyone had signed, they waited to see if anything else was required of them and when Laurent dismissed them, they strode from the room, babbling among each other.Damen couldn’t decipher the mood, but there was no yelling this time.

“All that’s left is finding the children and then back to Vere,” Damen said.

“Marlas, actually.It makes more sense now that the kingdoms are combined.I’ll be able to send a second copy of the document to Arles and they will all sign or they won’t like what I do to them.Besides, Arles is now part of Verlos,” Laurent grinned.

Damen grimaced.

“You really don’t like it, do you?”

“I mean…”

Laurent laughed.“You really do love me.”The teasing tone didn’t completely drown out the genuine awe, as though that were a fact that had changed within the last half hour.Damen tried not to think about it too hard.

“Very much,” Damen said, seriously.

Laurent stood from the chair and slipped his hand into Damen’s.“Come, let’s go find Jord.I suspect he’s been watching the market alone, since Nikandros was here with us.Maybe he’s learned something.”

“I’m sure Nikandros is headed there as we speak.He’ll let us know if there have been any developments.”

“I want to show you off,” Laurent said.

“To my own people?”

“Our people.”

“Our people,” Damen smiled.That sounded nice.It sounded right.It felt like this was the moment he’d been born for.By no means had he or Laurent righted the wrongs that had been done to Vere and Akielos by each other, but this was a start. 

They walked through the palace and out, finding Jord and Nikandros hidden at the far edge of the market in the shadow of a large tree, sitting on a low wall framing a small garden.They were eating and they blended in well enough that Damen had done a double-take, unsure if it had been them the first time.As they walked through the market, still holding hands, people were lowering themselves to the ground left and right.Damen waved them up almost instantly, not wishing to disturb their day to day activities.

“Well that’s sure to scare away any suspects for the next week,” Nikandros said, when Laurent and Damen reached him.

“He’s in a mood,” Jord said.“What did you two do to him in that meeting?”

“Nothing,” Laurent and Damen said at the same time.

“I take it there’s no new information, then,” Damen said.

“No,” Jord sighed.“At this point, however, I honestly can’t tell anyone apart anymore.Everyone looks like a suspect to me now.”

Laurent was scanning the crowds calmly, his eyes focused.Damen left him to it, thinking Nikandros was likely right.No kidnapper in their right mind would return here right after the kings had walked past.Nor would they stay.Something about Laurent’s focus, however, seemed to indicate he thought differently.

“Why don’t you two take a break?” Damen said, “Laurent and I will take over for the rest of the day.You get your wish Nikandros.”

Nikandros whooped and strung his hand through Jord’s, tugging on him.Jord kept his feet planted and asked, “Are you sure?It’s really no trouble, Damen, and I know you have better things to do.”

“Not really.This is our last task before we leave for Marlas.You deserve some rest, Jord.Get drunk with Nikandros.He’ll love it.”

Jord allowed himself to be pulled away and when he turned away from Damen, Nikandros bent his knees and made a motion for Jord to climb on his back.Jord seemed reluctant at first, but eventually he jumped, clawing for purchase at Nikandros’ shoulders, and then Nikandros was weaving towards the palace, Jord laughing. 

“I’d like one of those sometime,” Laurent said.

“Whenever you want, you know that.All you have to do is ask.”

The corner of Laurent’s mouth curved, “I love you.”

“I am honestly amazed at how often you think that.”

“Enjoy your one day.”Laurent’s eyes were back on the crowd, scanning.

“Do you truly think they will show their faces now?” Damen asked.

“They’ve already proven they’re brazen and intelligent,” Laurent said.“It’s why they’ve avoided capture so far.They are likely aware they’re being watched.They will strike when they think we least suspect it.So, yes, I do.It’s what I would do.”

“What if they’ve abducted all of the children they wish to?”

“That is not very optimistic of you.”

“Sorry.”Damen sunk against the wall and tried to adopt a similar concentration to Laurent.But, he got easily distracted by the children running after their parents trying to convince them they needed just one more candied fruit, the merchants yelling out their wares, and the stalls themselves.The large variety of wares was incredible and Damen liked to examine them.Not only did that hamper his concentration, but so did the warm air and the lazy wave of the branches in the wind.They lulled him into something akin to sleep.

“Damen,” Laurent murmured, hitting his arm, “Do you have your sword?”

“No.I didn’t anticipate leaving the palace today.”

“You are so lucky I exist,” Laurent said, pulling a dagger out of his boot.“Think this is enough?”

“What?”

Laurent grabbed Damen’s chin and turned his head towards a man who was casually shopping at a stall.Damen didn’t know what he was looking at.The man looked perfectly normal and he was doing a perfectly normal activity.It wasn’t like Laurent to overreact, though, so he kept watching.That was when Damen saw what Laurent must’ve seen.More than once, the man would look away from what he was examining, towards a group of children playing together in the center of the market.The repetition was what gave him away.“Maybe he’s one who prefers the company of children,” Damen said.

“Then we should still arrest him,” Laurent growled.Internally, Damen hit himself. “We need to disappear.”

“What?”

“It’s possible he’s noticed us and if that’s the case, he needs to think we’ve left.Then we wait for him to take a child and we follow him.Hopefully, he’ll lead us to the others.”

“Disappearing is too suspicious,” Damen said.“We need to publicly exit and then retrace our steps and hide.”

“That was intelligent, Damen.”

“Don’t act so surprised,” Damen sighed, placing his hand in Laurent’s.“Come on.Let’s give him a show.”

They strolled back the way they had came and in the middle of the market, Laurent paused and pulled Damen over to a stall where they were selling small paintings of native Akielon flowers.

“You want a painting?” Damen asked.

Laurent was peering at a painting of small blue flowers.“Would I have brought you over here otherwise?” he said.He turned to the woman manning the stall and asked if he could pick up a painting of a large-petaled yellow flower.She nodded and he did, commenting on how beautiful it was.The woman flushed with pride and Damen smiled when he realized the painting wasn’t all Laurent wanted.

“Which one do you like?” Laurent asked, holding up the blue and yellow.Damen pointed to the blue and Laurent explained in flawless Akielon that he would be grateful if she could hold the blue one for them until tomorrow, when they would come back with the proper amount of money to pay.She tried to insist they should simply take it, but Laurent dismissed her generosity, stating that this was art that deserved payment.His flattery saved him from offending her and she graciously accepted his proposal.

When they walked away, Damen said, “What are you going to do with a painting of a flower?”

“Hang it up.”

Damen rolled his eyes, “Really?That thought never occurred to me.”

“I like Ios,” Laurent said.“I like the ocean and the gardens and the sun, however ill-suited I am for it.I wanted something to remember my time here when we’re at Marlas.”

Damen bent down and kissed Laurent’s cheek.People were staring and Laurent took that opportunity to bring Damen’s hand up and kiss the back of it in return.There was an audible sigh from somewhere and Damen thought, perhaps, Laurent was managing to win his people over.If only they had more time and less at stake.

Once they’d escaped the bustle of the market, Laurent pulled them off to the side of the road.“Can we get onto the roofs?”

“Probably.”

“That would be ideal.It would make it harder for him to realize he’s being followed.”

“Alright.I’ll have a look around,” Damen said.“Keep an eye on him.Are you sure you’re okay to do this?”

“Yes, Damen.I’m fine.”

Damen went into an alley, bordering the edge of a house, and searched for handholds and steps up to the roof.While searching, he was hoping Laurent hadn’t lied to him.There was a way up on this wall, but the steps and handholds were far apart, likely too far for Laurent.Damen could likely help him up, though.

He called for Laurent and Laurent backed towards him, keeping an eye on the market. 

“Can you climb up?” Damen asked, gesturing to the path he saw.Laurent nodded, grabbed Damen’s hands, cupped them, then used them as a place to propel himself up Damen’s body and to his shoulders.Damen hadn’t expected it and he clasped on to Laurent’s feet quickly, before both of them fell over.“You could’ve warned me,” he grumbled.

“I could’ve,” Laurent agreed, “Let go of my feet.I can’t go anywhere if you’re holding them.”

Damen let go and Laurent barely held his position, then grabbed onto the side of the wall and hauled himself up to the roof, his left leg straight.Damen followed.Laurent was crouching on the edge of the roof, still watching the market.

“Can you still see him?”

“Yes.”

“What’s he doing?”

“Stop asking questions, Damen.Just watch.”Laurent pointed and Damen’s eyes followed his finger.The man had moved on to a new stall but he was still watching the children.Then one of the children wandered further from her friends than the rest and the man intercepted her, talking softly, leading her away with a firm hand on her back.Before she screamed, he clamped on her mouth.Damen waited for someone to notice, but none did.It suddenly made sense why he’d chosen the market to target children.Nobody noticed until it was too late.

Laurent was moving slowly, crawling across the rooftop and Damen followed.He was aware they were being reckless, but this man could get away and it was hard to stop Laurent once he’d started.


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait. School has been killing me, but I'm almost done, thank god. This chapter is slightly longer than usual to make up for it.  
> Thanks to my beautiful beta readers and to all of you as well. There still isn't a day that passes that I don't talk about this fic and how much all of you and it means to me. It's literally gotten to the point I say fanfic in a sentence and my roommate rolls her eyes.  
> Enjoy the chapter. Sending all my love! <3

Later, the man disappeared into a house, the young girl he’d kidnapped kicking and wriggling furiously in his arms.Damen and Laurent crawled down from the roof now that the man was in one place.Laurent was thinking, developing a plan of action, and Damen was keeping an eye on the door.If he appeared again, Damen was going to intercept him and hurt him, preferably.Anybody who could kidnap young children away from their families didn’t deserve easy treatment.Damen still couldn’t remove the image of the young girl clawing at the man’s arms from his mind.

There was a hiss from beside him and Damen turned his attention to Laurent, who was staring at his leg as though it were as irritating as a circling fly. 

“Are you alright?” Damen asked.

“You should be watching the door.”

“You are more important, Laurent.If you’re not up for this, we should turn back around.We have enough information to send others.In fact,” Damen said, realizing something, “Why are we still here?There shouldn’t be a scenario where we walk into this alone.That’s what we have an army for.”

“That’s not nearly as impressive.”

“We spearheaded the search.We can hand deliver the children back to their families, but this is not a part of the process we have to do alone.We don’t have to do this alone.” 

Laurent glared at him, glared at his leg, then glared at the door of the house.“He has to know he’s been followed,” Laurent murmured.“He will have time to prepare for any sort of attack.If we leave now, the element of surprise will be gone and we’ll be going into the encounter blind.I need more information.”

“If we tried something now, we’d still be going in blind.Neither one of us knows what’s in there.I am not risking your life again.”

“It’s not yours to risk.”

“Do I have to carry you back?” Damen asked.

“You wouldn’t do that.Not without my consent.”

“Wouldn’t I?” Damen said.“I’d rather you were alive and not talking to me than dead.At least, with the former, there’s a chance you’ll talk to me again.”

Laurent stared at him, blue eyes impossible to decipher.

“Please,” Damen whispered.“Only a week ago, I thought you were dead.Give me at least a month before I have to experience that again.”He attempted a joking tone, but it fell flat.Laurent didn’t comment, but the rigidness in his body lessened and he sunk back against the wall they were hiding behind.There was a light sheen of sweat on his forehead and the skin around his eyes was tired.Damen’s chest ached.He shouldn’t have allowed it to go this far.Laurent could hardly stand.He was only managing it through sheer force of will.

“Fine,” Laurent said, shortly.“But when we get reinforcements, we come straight back.Those children have suffered long enough.”

“Laurent…”

“What?” he snapped.

“I agree,” Damen said, hurriedly, “But if I’m returning today, it will be just me.You need to rest.I’m willing to wait for you, but I will not allow you to finish this today.”

“Allow me?”

“Can you even walk?”

“Of course I can.”

“And what if you had to fight?How abysmal would your footwork be?What would you leave open to attack?Don’t fight me on this.Don’t.You will lose, I promise.”

Laurent grimaced, then nodded jerkily, remaining silent.Damen internally groaned and mentally prepared himself for a long and silent walk back to the palace.There was a twinge of regret that he’d managed to waste the rest of his day of compliments, but it was outweighed by the need to keep Laurent alive.

People milled and bowed as they walked back, distinctly apart, and Damen couldn’t help but wonder what his people were thinking.Laurent didn’t look angry.He looked as beautiful and regal as always, head high, sun glinting off his hair, and yet they were walking apart, Damen even trailing slightly behind.That wasn’t the image they’d been cultivating over the weeks here.If Laurent was in his right mind, he’d do something about it, but he wasn’t.If they were in a less public place, Damen would grab his hand and force him to think, but it wasn’t a scene he was willing to play out here.Nor would Laurent thank him for it.In fact, it would make the whole situation infinitely worse.

It had been some time since Damen had seen this self-destructive streak in Laurent.He’d never imagined that it had gone away, but it further dampened Damen’s spirits.It rose, of course, from Laurent’s long years of fighting alone, where every decision risked overturning the careful balance between life and death.Those were not the kind of decisions he had to make anymore, however, because he had Damen.He had so much more than Damen.Yet, here they were, in a familiar position.Not that it should be a surprise.Damen was in the process of understanding that what Laurent went through was not the sort of trauma that was healed in a couple of months, maybe even a lifetime.

Damen could and would be patient.He would show Laurent that he was there for him every step of the way, even if Laurent was spitting insults, or in this case, ignoring his existence.

Damen followed Laurent back into the palace and to their rooms, where Damen fled to the balcony to listen to the ocean and watch the sun slowly descend over the horizon.There was still time before that happened, but Damen could think of nothing else to do.Laurent clearly wasn’t interested in talking and Damen couldn’t act on the missing children until Laurent told him if he wished Damen to go or wait.Hopefully, isolating himself to the balcony would give Laurent the space and time alone that he needed.Damen considered leaving the room entirely, but he’d have to turn and walk back through the rooms, risking Laurent’s ire.He was too exhausted for that and he wasn’t ashamed to admit that Laurent, like this, terrified him slightly.

It had been a beautiful day.Probably one of the very few left, before the cover of clouds settled in for the winter.It would still be warm, but the sun would make far fewer appearances.Damen took a moment to soak in the rays and breathe in through his nose and out through his mouth.

He heard Laurent’s footsteps behind him.Damen didn’t turn.He simply waited.This encounter was going to happen entirely on Laurent’s terms.Damen had already made him angry.There was no way in hell he was going to make it worse.

“Would you believe it?I walked here and I can still stand.”

Damen exhaled and closed his eyes.He wasn’t going to rise to Laurent’s bait.

“Silence?” Laurent said.“A wise approach.Not, however, the response I’m looking for.”Damen still didn’t say a word, wary of the ice in Laurent’s voice.“Fine.If you won’t talk, then you’ll listen.You do not get a say in what I can or cannot do.The only person who gets to decide that is me.I will not be swayed on this.Nod that you understand.”

Reluctantly, Damen nodded.He wanted to protest, to make Laurent see where he was coming from, but he thought now was, perhaps, not the time.

“I do not like being pushed into corners, Damen.Don’t make me do something I’ll regret.”

“Yes, because I’d be making you,” Damen grumbled to himself.

“Hmm?”

“Nothing.”A bubble of anger rose in his chest and he could feel that bubble burst, feel his self-control dissipate, and he knew that he was going to fight back and very soon.Might as well be now.He had things to say.“I just didn’t hear a lot of personal responsibility in that statement.There’s always a choice.”

“Consider it a warning, then.”

“A warning?What are you going to do to me, Laurent?Anything you do to me affects you as well, whether you think so or not.Add that to your list of reasons not to be in love.Maybe, one day, you’ll be able to convince yourself I’m not worth it and you’ll spare me these ridiculous arguments.”

Damen wasn’t looking at Laurent, but he could feel the abrupt stillness and he swore silently under his breath.“I…I’m sorry.I didn’t mean that.I…what would you like to do?Wait or have me deal with it now?”

“Now,” Laurent whispered.

“Don’t…” Damen stopped himself, figuring this wasn’t the time to tell Laurent what not to do.“I’ll be back.Just…lock the door if you don’t want me back for the night.I’ll understand.I’ll bring the children back to the palace with me, let them rest here for the night, eat some proper food, and then we’ll take them back to their families in the morning.If you’d like.”Now he was talking too much.Damen shoved himself away from the balcony and walked to the door.He glanced back at Laurent, who hadn’t moved, and wished he’d stayed silent.It wasn’t irreparable by any means, but it wasn’t what he’d planned either.

Walking through the halls, he hoped Nikandros and Jord weren’t too drunk.He wanted them with him.He didn’t particularly feel like being alone.Any distraction from his thoughts would be welcome. 

Nikandros answered the knock on the door, bare-chested, his pants barely dangling from his hips.He smiled when he saw Damen and invited him into the room.Jord was lying on the bed lazily, a self-satisfied smile on his face.When he saw Damen, he flushed lightly, but didn’t move, muttering a small hello.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Damen said.Nikandros frowned at the tone and laid a hand on Damen’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

“No.It’s not important.I need you two.”

“Whatever you need,” Nikandros replied.Jord nodded, standing and tugging on pants.He came up behind Nikandros and kissed the back of his neck as an afterthought.Damen ached watching the ease with which they interacted, as though it were something he didn’t have, which was, of course, a ridiculous notion.

“I know where the children are.We need a dozen good men.I’ll meet you in the courtyard.”

“Where’s Laurent?” Jord asked.Nikandros shook his head and Jord grimaced, lowering his eyes. 

“He’s resting,” Damen clipped.

“As he should be,” Nikandros said.

Damen swallowed and jerked his eyes away from his friend’s.“Hurry,” he said, before sweeping from the room and to the courtyard.It was likely they wouldn’t be ready for some time, but Damen had nowhere else to go.That was the problem with sharing a room.There were dozens of rooms in the palace that were going unused, though, and he could definitely procure any one he wished.But it would feel wrong.The thought made Damen’s stomach twist sharply.

He sat on a low wall, cupped his hands in his lap, and waited.The sun was finally setting and Damen watched as the sky started glowing a bright orange.Laurent’s favorite color.It felt foolish, missing him, when he was a short walk away, but he did.Guilt settled on Damen’s shoulders and he groaned, letting his head fall.Laurent hadn’t been in the right, but neither had Damen.Realizing that, Damen wanted to run inside and apologize, but it would give Laurent an opportunity to convince Damen to let him come and he wasn’t going to risk that.He hadn’t been wrong about Laurent’s leg, just about the way he’d handled it.

Damen hadn’t noticed time passing and he was surprised when he felt a hand on his shoulder.Looking up, Nikandros was standing there, Jord by his side, and flanked by a dozen men, armed and ready to go. 

Damen rose and silently led them from the courtyard and out into the city.He thought, perhaps, they should’ve developed a plan before setting out, but Damen wanted to shove doors down and feel the rush of adrenaline in a good fight.Planning was for Laurent, not him, not right now.Nobody said anything to contradict his actions, but followed silently.

When they were outside the house he and Laurent had seen the man go into, Damen stopped, gesturing towards the house silently.The men nodded and approached the door, swords drawn.Nikandros whispered, “Are you alright to do this?”

“Yes,” Damen said, gruffly, drawing his own sword and following his men.They peeled off, flanking either side of the door, and without preamble, Damen kicked the door open, running in.The first room was empty and Damen silently directed half of his men down one hall, and another half down the other.He, Nikandros, and Jord, took the middle hall.They didn’t move slowly or quietly, the crunch of the door already betraying them, and Damen heard a shout from a guard to the left.Damen sprinted in that direction and found four children tied up, lined up along the wall, unclothed, gagged, and pale.Two of them were distinctly underfed.Jord gasped and Damen tried not to do the same.

Without thought, Damen began untying them, murmuring into their ears.The children didn’t struggle or say a word and when Damen managed to look into the eyes of one, he saw that they were glazed.The children were drugged.They were barely aware of what was happening, which was, perhaps, a good thing. 

Nikandros shouted something and Damen looked back to see a stream of men piling into the room, swords drawn.Abandoning the children for the time being, Damen picked his sword up from the floor and pushed up to attack whenever Jord and Nikandros lost ground, earning it back.It didn’t take long before Damen’s sword had sliced the stomach of the last man and Jord and Nikandros were hauling the men to the edges of the room.

There was another shout and then seconds later, two guards came in, dragging a struggling man between them.Seeing his face, Damen snapped and punched him hard in the face.Blood began dripping from the man’s lip and he spit onto the ground at Damen’s feet.For that, he earned a backhanded slap from Nikandros.

“What would you like us to do with him, Exalted?”

“Take him back to the palace and throw him in the dungeons.”Damen would leave him for Laurent.Maybe that would be apology enough.If nothing else, Laurent could direct his anger at someone besides him.

They nodded and took him away.Damen motioned for two more guards to follow them, in case the prisoner got any ideas.Then Damen moved to untie the rest of the children and lifted one of them into his arms, a young girl with curly blonde hair.She was dazed and slumped against him, her fingers clinging weakly to his shoulder.Without asking, Nikandros bent to pick up another.Jord followed suit and then one of the guards picked up the last. 

The walk back was somber and quiet, the girl falling asleep against him.Damen stroked the hair away from her face and kept talking to her in a mix of Akielon and Veretian, unsure which she preferred.It didn’t seem to matter that she couldn’t hear him.Something about it was calming Damen as well.

Back at the palace, Damen handed off the child he was carrying to a guard and murmured for Nikandros to find them all a large room together and move enough beds in.He didn’t want them to be separated.They were going to wake in a strange place, without a familiar face.They would need each other. 

Then he was left alone, standing in the middle of a vast, marbled hallway, unsure what to do.He could return to his room, but Damen wasn’t sure he was prepared to face a locked door.Then again there was a chance Laurent hadn’t locked it.

Taking a deep breath, Damen set off for Jokaste’s room.When he knocked, Jokaste opened the door, yawning behind her hand.

“Did I wake you?” Damen asked, silently cursing himself.

Jokaste smiled softly.“No.”She purposefully made it obvious she was lying, but opened the door wide for him, nonetheless.Thanking her, Damen strolled in.Her rooms were lightly perfumed and there were colored silks, soft rugs, and gilt vases everywhere.Damen thought she would like Vere. 

They didn’t speak, but sat together in adjacent chairs, Phaedrus asleep in a crib to the side of the bed.Jokaste leaned her head on Damen’s shoulder after a moment and held his hand in hers.Damen wanted to say thank you, but he couldn’t get the words out.

“How do you do it?” he sighed.

“Hmm?” Jokaste murmured.

Damen considered backtracking, but it felt like the time.Maybe it was because he was preparing himself for a continued fight with Laurent or maybe it was because her head was on his shoulder, but this was the right moment to ask what he’d been wondering for weeks.“I know you’re still in love with me,” he whispered.“How do you spend time with me?Isn’t it painful?”

Jokaste kept her head on his shoulder.Silence permeated the room, but Damen knew she was thinking.Just like Laurent would.Revealing information was always a decision with them.“It’s never painful with you,” she said, finally.

It didn’t entirely answer his question, but it was enough.He turned and kissed her forehead.“I do love you.”

“I’m easy to love,” she laughed softly, slipping her head away from his shoulder.“Why are you here, Damen?”

“Laurent’s mad at me.”

“Deservedly?”

“No.Yes.I don’t know.It’s always so hard to know with him.”

“Yet, you know better than anyone.How long have you left him alone?”

“I don’t know,” Damen murmured.“I told him he could lock the door if he didn’t want to see me tonight and I don’t…I don’t really want to find out if he did.”

Jokaste shook her head, smiling gently.“He didn’t lock the door, Damen.You know that as well as I do.”

“I…”

“He doesn’t run.And definitely not from you.Whatever conversation it is, it likely won’t be pleasant, but he’ll want to have it.Go to him.You have to at some point.”

“What if I fuck everything up?”

“This isn’t like you.Where’s that easy confidence I adore?”

“I can’t lose him.”

“You’re much more dramatic than you used to be,” Jokaste said.“Go, before I make you.Don’t think I can’t.”

“Fine.”Damen stood and strolled over to the crib holding Phaedrus.He kissed Phaedrus softly on the forehead and then left with a wish of luck from Jokaste.Damen turned to shut the door behind him and she was already climbing back into bed, snuffing the candles she’d lit.Warmth flooded through Damen and he held onto that as he went back to his room.Sure enough, the door was unlocked and he opened it before he could seriously think about what was waiting for him.

Laurent was lying in bed, wearing a loose shirt, and reading a book.Damen knew this was a purposeful display and he was relieved that Laurent was showing softness and openness.It was obvious that he was willing to listen.It wasn’t what Damen had expected.Not even remotely.Laurent didn’t look up from his book, however, making sure Damen knew he was still angry, despite his apparent ease.

Damen wasn’t sure if he was supposed to join Laurent in bed or not, so he ended up standing awkwardly at the edge of it, watching Laurent carefully.

“Confused?” Laurent murmured.“Do I need to spell this out for you?”

A dozen scintillating responses swarmed his mind, but Damen silenced them.He’d already let his anger get out of control and that hadn’t solved anything.He would do his second opportunity right.“Please,” he said.

Laurent’s blue eyes flicked upwards and he stared at Damen disinterestedly.“Get in the bed.”

“Okay,” Damen said slowly, pulling up the covers and slipping under them, clothes still on.

“Talk.”

“Alright.”Damen paused, collecting his thoughts, trying to find the best way to articulate his reasons.“I don’t like forcing you to do things you don’t want to.Honestly, I’m surprised I even can.”That earned him a glare and Damen took a deep breath before he continued.“I just thought you were taking unnecessary risks and for the wrong reasons.I know your independence is important to you and I know part of that manifests in your desire to do things alone, but this time it could’ve ended with you dead.I realize I handled it the wrong way and I’m sorry for that.But I love you and I have to protect you and that includes protecting you from yourself.”

“So I’m self-destructive?”

Damen sunk lower into the bed and covered his eyes with his hand.“Don’t make this harder than it has to be, please.”

“Apparently I’m destructive.I can’t help it.”

Damen groaned.If it continued like this, they weren’t going to make any progress.“If that’s all you’re capable of saying, I’m going to sleep.We can try again in the morning.”Damen rolled over, clutching his pillow to his chest.He closed his eyes, but he knew he wasn’t going to sleep. 

There was no movement beside him.Laurent had probably gone back to reading his book.That would be like him. 

Quietly, “Did you find the children?”

“Yes.They’re fine.They’re sleeping in a room together.They’d been drugged.Even if I hadn’t promised you we’d return them together, I wasn’t going to return them to their families like that.”

There was silence and Damen couldn’t resist flipping over to see Laurent’s face.It was blank, but Laurent’s eyes met his.Without breaking eye contact, Damen took a deep breath and then half-smiled with as much normalcy as he could muster.

Laurent’s mouth thinned and he said, “You are not fighting fair.”

“I fight to win, lover.”

“Ha ha,” Laurent said.Then, much more softly, “I’m sorry, too.You’re always right.I just…”

“I know,” Damen sighed.“I shouldn’t have pushed you into a corner, but I wasn’t thinking.Not really.Mostly, I was trying not to imagine you back in the infirmary.”

Laurent placed the book on the bedside table and sunk down beside Damen.“I know,” he murmured, reaching a hand over to sweep the curls from Damen’s forehead, his fingers tangling near the temple and staying there.“My leg does hurt,” he admitted.

“I bet.I have a hard time feeling sympathetic.”

Laurent slapped him, but he was smiling.

“Are we alright?” Damen asked.

Laurent nodded and scooted forward, leaning in for a kiss.It was slow and lazy, except for the insistent tugs on Damen’s hair, pulling him as close as possible.“I can’t believe I wasted the rest of my day fighting with you,” Damen murmured in between kisses.

“I believe I can give you until I fall asleep.”

“How generous.”

“I’m in a generous mood,” Laurent replied. 

“What are you thinking right now?” Damen asked, raising himself onto his elbow.

“That I hate fighting with you and that I’m glad we’re not fighting any longer.It’s exhausting and I don’t handle it well.”Laurent brought a hand out from underneath the sheets and showed it to Damen.The knuckles were split.“I may have punched the table.And I may have destroyed the mental stability of some servants.”

“What did they do wrong?”

“Asked if I needed anything.”

Damen smiled and kissed Laurent again.Kissing him was irresistible.No one looked half so beautiful in candlelight and there was still a sliver of surprise in Laurent’s eyes every time their lips met, as though they were still unexpected.“How much does your leg hurt?” Damen murmured.

Laurent grinned.“Not all that bad right now.”

“You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?”

Laurent shrugged and then moved so he was straddling Damen’s waist.“Do you care?”Then he bent his head and bit Damen’s neck, sucking, licking the pain away a moment later.There was a dissatisfied expression on his face when he reappeared from the crook of Damen’s neck.

“What?”

“It’s very hard to leave noticeable marks on your skin.”

Damen laughed at that and flipped them over so that he had easy access to Laurent’s neck.He bit and sucked up and down Laurent’s neck, leaving three very distinct marks on the fine skin.With a satisfied smile, Damen tugged Laurent from the bed and placed him in front of a mirror.Laurent stared at the marks and Damen whispered into his ear, “I could do that all over your body.One on your chest, one on your hipbone, one on the inside of your thigh…” he trailed off and licked the top of Laurent’s ear.

“I take it that you don’t care whether I’m lying or not, then.”

“I want you to fuck me,” Damen murmured.

“I would like that very much,” Laurent said, turning in Damen’s arms and pressing their lips together in a heated kiss, tongues sliding, arousal burning through Damen’s veins.He picked Laurent up and carried him to the bed, leaning over him, never once breaking the kiss.Laurent’s hands slipped into Damen’s hair and when Damen moved down to his neck, leaving a few more marks, Laurent whispered, “If I’m going to fuck you, I’ll have to be on top.”

Damen lifted Laurent up and tugged his white shirt off.Then he laid down, undoing pins, pushing his chiton down to his waist and said, “You are in control.”

Laurent’s eyes flared and darkened as he settled back on Damen’s waist and licked a stripe up Damen’s chest to a nipple, which he sucked and flicked until Damen was panting, hands gripping the sheets by his side.Moving up to Damen’s neck, Laurent whispered into the skin there, “You can touch me, Damen.Wherever.I trust you.You’ll stop if I ask.”

Damen’s fingers stopped scrabbling at the sheets and he lifted them to Laurent’s back to clamber there.Surging forward, their lips met again and Damen’s hands fell to Laurent’s waist, tugging him up his body.Slowly, Laurent rocked his hips, sending of a bolt of pleasure through Damen’s body.

“Why are you still wearing clothes?” Laurent grumbled, reaching down between them fumbling with the remainder of Damen’s chiton.Trying not to laugh, Damen let him try without assistance.Sighing, Laurent bit hard into Damen’s jaw and said, “Lift your goddamn hips.”

“Last time I checked, I was no longer your slave.”

“Please,” Laurent ground out and this time, Damen didn’t stop the laughter from escaping as he angled his hips and Laurent managed to removed the fabric.He was now staring at Damen’s erect cock with hooded lids.Sliding down Damen’s legs, he brushed his mouth against the tip, softly and only for the briefest moment.Laurent’s breath was now warm against him and Damen’s hips bucked, cock twitching, as he searched for Laurent’s mouth.

Resting his elbows on Damen’s thighs, and his face in his hands, Laurent looked up at Damen and smirked.“You look desperate.Flushed and wriggling.”

“Like it?”

“Yes,” Laurent said, moving forward to lick from the base of Damen’s cock to the top, tonguing the slit, pressing down gently, before stopping.Again.He was watching Damen, the intensity of his eyes enough to keep waves of pleasure streaming through Damen’s body.

“What?” Damen asked, breathlessly.“Do you want something?”

“I want to watch,” Laurent murmured, flushing hard.Raising himself up, he slid just to the side of Damen, where he absentmindedly flicked at one of the pert nipples with his fingernail.Open-mouthed, Damen stared, unsure what to do or say, before it got to be too much and the only reasonable response was taking himself in hand and stroking.

He hadn’t known what to expect, but it was significantly different from getting himself off alone.Laurent was still a distinct participant, his eyes flicking between Damen’s face and his hardening cock.

Already seeking rhythm, he moved his hand quicker and said, on a strangled breath of air, “Kiss me.”

Laurent obliged, leaning over and swiping his tongue along Damen’s bottom lip.He slipped his hands down Damen’s arms and removed his hand from his cock, bringing the fingers wet with pre-come up to his mouth and sucking them clean, eyes never leaving Damen’s.

“Fuck, Laurent,” Damen groaned.

With a shy smile, Laurent said, “You taste good.”

Damen groaned again and flung his head back into the pillows, too overwhelmed to look at Laurent. 

In the period of time his eyes were shut and he was trying to organize his fractured mind, Laurent had his mouth around Damen’s cock and was swirling his tongue around the head, ending any progress Damen had made.

Pulling away frustratingly soon, Laurent reached over the top of Damen to the bedside table, opened a drawer and grabbed the oil.Unstoppering it, he coated his fingers and waited for Damen to let his legs fall open.When he did, he crawled between them and leaned over to kiss him slowly, his hair tickling Damen’s cheeks.Laurent’s lips against his was a distraction from the fingers prodding the edges of his hole, dipping just inside occasionally.When a finger finally entered him, curling and entreating, Damen groaned into Laurent’s mouth, his hands scraping down Laurent’s back.

Laurent pulled back, sitting up straight on Damen’s chest, reaching behind him, two fingers now thrusting.Eyes caught and stayed and a large smile spread on Laurent’s face at the same time a flush spread upwards from his neck.Damen didn’t have to find his wrist or neck to know Laurent’s heart was racing.

“I like that I can do this to you,” Laurent murmured.

Pleasure was coiling hot in Damen and he only barely managed to resist the constant string of thoughts begging him to pull Laurent closer, flip him over and fuck him slowly, chest to chest, mouth to mouth.The only thought left over was the one he moaned as Laurent carefully added a third finger.“Fuck me.Please.”

Laurent removed his fingers, making Damen whimper quietly at the loss, and picked up the bottle of oil from the other side of the bed where he’d flung it, and stroked his cock twice, coating it.Balancing one of Damen’s legs on his shoulder, he entered Damen inch by inch, pausing when all of him was inside Damen, giving both of them time to accustom themselves.Laurent’s head fell back, leaving his neck exposed, baring the marks Damen had made, and brokenly, Damen thought he would very much like to kiss it, but he couldn’t quite figure out the logistics to make that happen.“Move, dammit,” he growled.

Laurent laughed shakily and moved Damen’s leg to curl around his waist, so that he could lean against Damen as he rolled his hips once.Cupping his neck, Damen brought Laurent even closer so that they could kiss messily.There was more tongue than lips, but neither minded.Laurent kept the pace agonizingly slow and it wasn’t long before he had Damen begging for it faster and harder.

Laurent came first, moaning into Damen’s neck.By then, Damen was close, but Laurent hadn’t increased the pace as he’d asked and as Laurent was slumped against him, Damen tried to reach between his legs and finish himself off.

Blinking twice, reasserting control, Laurent smiled and murmured, “Sorry.Being selfish.”He rolled off Damen and then finished him with his mouth, the rhythm finally hurried and desperate.

Later, Laurent was lying on his side, behind Damen, holding him close, his feet tucked in their usual position between Damen’s calves.Laurent was peppering Damen’s neck with gentle kisses and Damen was focusing on the beat of Laurent’s heart against his back.“We didn’t announce that we are combining our kingdoms, did we?” Damen sighed.

Laurent whispered, “We’ll do it tomorrow.”

“I know you were prepared for that to happen today.I’m sorry I ruined it.”

“Stop apologizing.I think that we determined we were both being idiots.”

“Did you just call yourself an idiot?” Damen smiled, crossing his arm over Laurent’s and interlocking their fingers.

“Did I?” Laurent said, kissing the skin behind Damen’s ear.

“That’s what it sounded like.”

“I must have then.I trust you.”Laurent’s fingers were now stroking his hair, untangling some of the strands.An easy silence followed those words and Damen closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of fingers running through his hair.He was calmer than he’d been in days.

“I don’t want to fall asleep,” Damen murmured.

“Are you sure?It looks like you want to,” Laurent teased.

A yawn gave him away.It had been a long day and there was no question he was exhausted, but losing the ease and comfort he had with Laurent right now was unbearable.Even more unbearable was losing the tender comments Laurent had promised him for the day.Only one day.If he stayed awake, the day wouldn’t end.

“I’m going to miss this version of Laurent you gave me,” Damen admitted softly.It wasn’t something he was going to ask to continue, because he knew how difficult it was for Laurent to handle, but there was no denying that it had been exceptional while it lasted.

“I’m not,” Laurent whispered, “But, perhaps…”

“No.The best version of you is the one you’re comfortable with.I don’t need or want it any differently.Just…thank you for today.”

“I don’t know who I’d be without you,” Laurent said quietly.

“I wasn’t aware all that much had changed.”

“Everything has changed, Damen.You know that.”

Damen tilted his head back, so he could see Laurent’s face.It was contemplative and when he noticed Damen watching, his fingers stilled in Damen’s hair for a moment.

“So,” Damen said, “Did an endearment stick?”

“Hmm?” Laurent murmured.The words finally sunk in after a few more strokes of Damen’s hair and Laurent smirked.“Oh.I haven’t decided yet.”

“Any contenders?”

“You’re much too greedy.You already have lover.What more could you want?”

“Nothing.”

“What do you want?” Laurent asked.Damen couldn’t believe Laurent had noticed the slight shift in tone.Damen himself hadn’t realized that he’d let it happen until after he’d spoken.It was a ridiculous, inconsequential desire and Damen wished he didn’t have to speak it aloud. 

“Sometimes I wish I was allowed more than sweetheart is all,” Damen blurted.

Laurent leaned over Damen’s shoulder and kissed his cheek.“Pathetic,” he murmured, planting another kiss, “Oversized,” kiss, “Romantic.”Then there was a long pause.Slowly, “You can call me whatever you’d like, but don’t do it often.I do have a name and I’m actually fond of it.It springs fear in smart men and women.”

Damen inhaled to speak and Laurent placed a hand over his mouth.“I don’t give anything I don’t want to give.Don’t convince yourself I’m something I’m not.”

Peeling Laurent’s hand away from his mouth, Damen said, “I know.I…I’m always unsure after we fight.”

“Do you think we’ll ever have a fight where one of us throws something?” Laurent asked, deftly turning the conversation into something less serious.

“I don’t even want to think about that.”

“I’ll bet you we do.”

“Not something I’m willing to bet on.”

“No fun, as usual.”

Damen laughed shortly and swiveled in Laurent’s arms, which was more difficult than Damen thought it would be, as he almost rolled on top of Laurent multiple times.Twice there was a grunt of pain from Laurent from a loose elbow.It also dislodged Laurent’s fingers in his hair, which Damen instantly missed.He should’ve just stayed where he was, but there was only so long he could go being in the same space as Laurent without looking at him.His was a beauty that demanded attention.

“If I’m remembering correctly, you had fun tonight,” Damen said, running a hand from Laurent’s waist to his lower thigh.

“Yes.We’re getting good at that.”

“Very good,” Damen smiled.

Laurent bent his head, flushing, and murmured, “I’m glad you think so.”

“You’re so beautiful.”

Laurent didn’t respond, his head still bent.

“Too much?”

Laurent laughed shortly and finally met Damen’s eyes with a sardonic expression.“I’d like to go to sleep now.Am I allowed?”

“It’s not my place to say.”

“Good answer,” Laurent said.

Damen untangled himself and moved around the room, snuffing all the candles.When he returned to bed, he was already cold and Laurent shoved his arm away.“Don’t touch me until you’re warm.”

“That seems fair.I don’t get to touch you but you get to put your icy feet between my calves whenever you want.”

“Nothing’s fair.”

Damen laid down and watched the rise and fall of Laurent’s shoulders.Into the darkness, he murmured, “One more?”

“Good night, love,” Laurent whispered.

 

The next morning Damen woke to an empty bed.  He groped blindly at the sheets beside him for a moment before he realized they were long cold.  Sitting up, Damen rubbed his eyes and gracelessly got out of bed, stumbling to the wardrobe and pulling out a fresh chiton with gold embroidery.  He put it on and then noticed leftover food on the table.

Eating half a peeled orange, Damen searched the room for any signs as to where Laurent might have gone.It wasn’t as though he’d be able to go find him, having plenty to do himself, but Damen would feel more in control and at ease if he did know.Laurent was the only thing Damen didn’t trust Laurent with.

When he finished eating, he left the room and asked the guard if he knew where Laurent had gone.

“He said he was going to go talk to the children.He also said he’d find you when he was done.”

Damen nodded, picked Nikandros up from his room, and together they attended a series of meetings, addressing the easiest ways to make Verlos a reality besides a signed piece of paper.They also discussed military strategies, appointments, and patrols for if, more likely when—according to his advisors—things got out of hand. 

There were some who were still disgruntled about the entire situation, but most had already moved on and were doing their best to keep Verlos safe, for which Damen was grateful.

Once that was done, Damen attended the training of soldiers, which Nikandros was leading, and participated in many of the activities along with them.It boosted the morale of the men, earned him their loyalty, and it was good to return to basics every once in awhile.The burn in Damen’s limbs was welcome and he was more than pleased with Nikandros’ teaching capabilities.He was patient and to the point and the men listened to him.

Halfway through a drill that was focused on core work, Laurent appeared, abruptly interrupting the proceedings, most stopping and staring.Nikandros shot Laurent a glance, rolled his eyes, and then went into a long-winded lecture about distractions.The men looked appropriately mollified, eyes downcast and feet shuffling.

Damen sheathed his sword and strolled to Laurent, who was staring at Nikandros with an amused expression.

“Hi,” Damen said, kissing Laurent’s cheek.

“You smell,” Laurent said.“You know, I think he just called me beautiful.”

“That wouldn’t surprise me.You are, after all, the distraction he’s lecturing about and that’s the part of you that usually distracts.”

“Yes, I know.”

“How was your morning?”

“Fruitful.The kidnapper was in no way related to Guion or Lord Lycus.He was working alone.To put it bluntly, he was sexually attracted to the children and it was only appropriate that they be Veretian, because then he was removing two heads with one sword, as it were.He was vile, actually.”

“Was?”

“I killed him.”

“That execution probably could’ve been handled publicly.No one would oppose the murder of someone who fucks children.”

“Unless you’re the Council of Vere.”

Damen grimaced and managed to talk himself down from punching a wall or engaging one of the trainees in a sword fight.Deliberately, he said, “You lost control.”

Laurent nodded and slipped one of his hands into Damen’s.It was shaking.Damen led them away from the training arena and into an unpopulated hallway flooded with soft light.He didn’t dare to touch Laurent anywhere without permission, but he did say, “You came straight from the dungeon.”

Laurent nodded again.“I needed to see you.”Then he sunk into Damen’s chest and inhaled shakily.Slowly, giving Laurent time to pull away, Damen curled his arms around Laurent’s waist and pulled him closer, resting his chin on Laurent’s head.

“They were so scared.”

Damen was about to ask who, but then he remembered that Laurent had also visited the children this morning.Before he’d gone to see the kidnapper. 

“I looked at them and saw me when…”

Damen shut his eyes and kissed the top of Laurent’s head.There were no words to describe what he was feeling right now and he couldn’t even imagine how much worse it was for Laurent.All he could do was hold Laurent close and hope that would be enough.

Footsteps echoed through the empty hall and Laurent moved out of the hug, face impassive.He kept his hand in Damen’s and it was still shaking.There was a slight downturn at the corner of Laurent’s mouth and Damen knew he was trying to stop the shaking before someone other than Damen noticed.Gripping Laurent’s hand tighter, Damen enveloped the shaking so that the tremors weren’t noticeable.It was likely the grip hurt, but he knew Laurent was grateful.

A pair of woman walked by, arms locked, talking about one of the woman’s purchases at the market.When they saw Damen and Laurent, they bowed, murmuring Exalted and then moved on.Looking at Laurent, Damen knew the moment of vulnerability was over, even though the feeling wasn’t.

“What do you need?” Damen asked. 

“You.Just you.Come with me,” Laurent said.Damen didn’t ask, he just followed.

Laurent led him to the room where the children were being kept.They entered and all of Damen’s breath left him.They were no longer drugged but it looked as though they were.Normally, when Damen thought of four young children in a room together, it involved games and laughter.What he saw was the exact opposite.Two were sitting against walls silently, looking at nothing, one was on her bed, unmoving, and the last was sitting at a table stabbing on orange slice over and over again with her finger. 

When they saw Laurent, though, a little life crept into their faces.One of the girls even smiled.Laurent smiled back at her and sat with her at the table.He said softly, his voice still managing to carry, “This is Damen.He’s the one who found you.You’re safe with him.We’re going to take you back to your families if that sounds alright with you.”

The girl sitting at the table beside Laurent stopped stabbing the orange slice and nodded.The rest watched her nod and then nodded too, standing and milling around the table.They were cleaned and newly clothed, but it was harder to tell than it should’ve been.These children had grown up and they no longer fit their bodies. 

Damen wanted to leave, collect himself, but he managed to sit at the table as well.Laurent and him gradually managed to coax all of them into speaking, though the emptiness in their voices also made Damen uneasy.The only thing keeping him here was Laurent and the knowledge that this was likely even harder for him.

Once they learned where the children lived, Laurent stood and extended a hand to the girl who had smiled at him earlier.She stared at the offered hand for a moment and then took it.It was clear she was a sort of leader among the rest of the children, because they followed suit, another grabbing Laurent’s other hand and a the last two grabbing Damen’s.Then, all together, with a retinue of guards, they walked through the palace and out.

When they reached the first house, which belonged to one of the young boys who’d been sitting against the wall, Laurent knocked twice. 

A woman opened the door.Her hair was done and she was wearing a beautiful dress, but there were very dark circles under her eyes and when she saw her son staring up at her, it took her a moment to understand what was happening, as though she thought she were dreaming.And then she burst into tears, gathering her son into her arms.

“Thank you, Exalted,” she sobbed, pecking Damen on the cheek.Laurent looked at him and Damen took a deep breath, knowing neither he or this woman was prepared for the conversation that was about to happen.

“You should know what happened to your son,” Damen murmured.“It’s likely he’ll…”He didn’t want to finish the rest in front of her son.The woman seemed to understand and pushed her son into the house, asking him to go reunite with his sister.

“What is it?” she asked, the tears stalled in her anxiety at this new wrinkle.Damen’s eyes searched out Laurent’s.The woman glanced back and forth between them and then said, voice dark, “What happened to him?”

“He’s been drugged and sexually assaulted.Likely, multiple times.” 

The woman’s hand covered her mouth and she let out a soft scream.Her gaze traveled to the other children clutching Laurent and Damen’s hands and she murmured, “Oh the poor dears.”Then, after a long pause, “Thank you, both of you.You saved my son.”

Every interaction that followed, happened in a very similar fashion.By the time they were done, Damen was exhausted and emotionally dry. 

“Sometimes I wish you could carry me,” Damen said to Laurent as they were walking slowly back to the palace.The guards flanked them, but not closely.Laurent had ordered them to give he and Damen some space.

Laurent moved closer and wrapped an arm around Damen’s waist.They leaned against each other and Laurent said, “I never want to do that again.I don’t care how much of a political advantage it is.”

“Except that you do.”

“Except that I do,” he sighed.“None of those children are ever going to be the same.”

“No,” Damen acknowledged. 

“Are you ready to announce the creation of Verlos?”

“No.I want to go to bed, lay my head in your lap, and listen to you read to me.”

“Later,” Laurent said.“This has to be done.I’ve had Nikandros spread the word that an announcement will be made at sunset.We’ll have to head straight to the balcony.”

Damen groaned and practically gave all his weight to Laurent to bear.Laurent weathered it and murmured, “I need you, Damen.”

Wearily, Damen nodded. 

They made it to the balcony much too quickly.Damen looked below him at all the upturned faces and the sun, moments from descending below the horizon.He wasn’t entirely sure he could even speak, let alone shout.But, this was kingship.He had to bear what he could so his people wouldn’t have to. 

He raised his hand into the air and the bustling and chattering settled, all eyes on him.Laurent held Damen’s other hand and squeezed it tightly.It was the only sign that he was nervous and worn down.Laurent’s head was held high, his face was clean of lines or exhaustion, and Damen gathered energy from that.If he had even half of the acting skills Laurent possessed, he could make it through this.

“Subjects of Akielos,” Damen said, giving all he had.Thankfully, it came out regal and commanding as he’d intended.“As you know, I am husband to King Laurent of Vere.As this is so, it was a very natural process for our two kingdoms to reach peace and begin growing together.In order to improve the wealth, safety and standing of our great kingdom, I and Laurent have decided to combine Vere and Akielos into one.The new kingdom is to be called Verlos.”

There was more to say and Damen had it on the tips of his lips, but he realized he wouldn’t be heard, because below him was chaos.


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clearly, I had some more time recently, because this chapter came together quick.  
> As always, thanks to my beautiful beta readers and all the lovely commenters who continue to be the most wonderful thing in my life. I can't tell you all how much I appreciate you.  
> Please enjoy!!!! :)  
> <3

They were storming the palace.Not all of them, some were standing on the edges, watching, but more than half were running at the doors.The guards were keeping them at bay for the time being, but Damen turned to the guards behind him and said, “Get reinforcements.Post half to the main door and have the other half split off to all other entrances.Hurry.”

“Exalted,” one said and they walked briskly from the balcony.

Damen didn’t know what he was going to do, but he wasn’t going to stand and watch this happen.There had to be something he could say or do to get his people to stop.If this continued, people were going to die. 

He’d forgotten Laurent was beside him until he tried to leave and Laurent grabbed his arm in a vise-like grip.

“Laurent…”

“No.We are kings.You are no longer a prince, Damen, and there are some things you will never be allowed to do again.”Laurent stopped and pointed down to the masses of people, shoving and pushing and screaming, some with rusty weapons, some without.“Someone down there wants to kill you.Likely, a large number of someones.It would be foolish to give them an opportunity to do so.You and I are going to return to our rooms and wait it out, receiving updates and issuing commands from there.”

“But…”

“Nikandros and Jord have it handled.You trust them and so do I.We have no need to worry, not yet, and if we do, they will let us know and we can escape.”

Damen froze and thoughts whirled through his mind, incoherent.This was Akielos.Verlos.His job was to protect it and he’d allowed this to happen.What kind of king was he?His father wouldn’t have approved.His father wouldn’t have approved of a lot of things.

“A kingdom or this,” Laurent murmured softly, his hand falling to Damen’s.

Damen swallowed and took a couple of deep breaths.Then he nodded, squeezing Laurent’s hand.He allowed Laurent to lead them to their rooms, where he settled Damen’s head on his lap and read to him, just as Damen had wanted before.It wasn’t as calming as it could’ve been, as they could hear the mob outside and sometimes Laurent’s voice faltered, a rarity when he was reading.Damen knew he was more disturbed by this then he was letting on.

Eventually, Laurent stopped reading.He simply trailed off and Damen didn’t ask him to continue.Instead, Laurent sifted his fingers through Damen’s hair and stared at the far wall, eyes blank.Damen listened, his fingers itching to hold a sword and join Nikandros and Jord on the front lines.

Quietly, “Have we destroyed everything?”

“There was always a chance we would,” Laurent murmured.

“No wonder they hate us.We picked each other over them.”

Laurent was silent.Damen watched him, stared at the angle of his jaw-line and the bobbing of his adam’s apple as he swallowed.Reaching up, he laid his palm against the soft skin of Laurent’s neck and left it there, running his thumb down into the dip of Laurent’s collarbone and back up.“Do you regret it?” Damen asked.

Laurent choked out a laugh and gazed down at Damen, his eyes sparkling, which Damen thought was strange for the present situation.“What do you think?”

“I don’t…”

“Guess.”

Damen thought and then murmured, “You end up where you want to be.We wouldn’t be where we are now if you regretted anything.”

“You’re not as idiotic as you look.”

Damen decided to keep up the banter.It was better than the alternative.The fact that Laurent could find humor in anything right now was a relief, because he could show Damen the way.“You’ve always made sense to me.”

“Yes.Besides my uncle, you were the first to understand me and I found it extremely irritating.”

“Were you supposed to be unknowable, Laurent?”

Laurent pinched the tip of Damen’s ear and smiled.“Yes,” he said.

“What were you thinking about?Earlier?”

“We need to send Vannes to Vask.And someone to Patras.Akielos was on better terms with them, I’ll let you decide who we send there.”

“We’ve made ourselves weak.”

Laurent nodded.“My uncle would delight in this opportunity.Someone in Vask or Patras is thinking a very similar thing.I would prefer to deter the possibility of fighting two wars.”

“As would I,” Damen murmured.

Silence reigned once more and Laurent kept his hands in Damen’s hair.Every once in a while, he would pull too hard, but Damen knew he was the only thing keeping Laurent calm and Laurent was definitely the only thing keeping him in this room.The grip on Damen’s hair was a subtle reminder.

Damen sat up in a rush, Laurent flinching in surprise.“Jokaste,” Damen said.“We should find Jokaste.If they breach the palace, I won’t have her unprotected.She’s not going to die because of me.Her or Phaedrus.”

Laurent smiled thinly.“She’s in far less danger than we are.”

That brought Damen to a stop.“What do you mean?” he murmured.

“She’s been spreading rumors, Damen.She has been since she was in the carriage coming here from Lord Alexius’.As far as the people know, we are keeping her prisoner due to her betrayal.The leash may be loose, but she makes sure to walk everywhere outside the palace with some of your guard, to maintain the ruse.If the people storm the palace, she’ll be safe.They’ll think her another victim.You didn’t honestly think she’d come here, knowing the possibilities, without a back-up plan, did you?”

Damen sunk back down on the bed and let his head fall right back into Laurent’s lap.Humming softly, Laurent continued to stroke his hair, as though nothing had happened.Damen should’ve realized Jokaste would’ve done something like that.Her life was the most important thing to her, after all, except, perhaps, her son’s life.Lately, it had been an easy thing to forget just how alike her and Laurent were.

“What are you humming?” Damen asked.

“A Veretian lullaby.My mother used to sing it to me and then Auguste did sometimes after she died.He had an awful voice, but I appreciated the gesture.”

“What’s it called?”

Laurent smiled.“The Starlight Prince.”

“I’ll bet that was you,” Damen murmured, reaching up and poking Laurent in the nose.

Laurent’s nose crinkled and he glared down at Damen.“I would like to remind you I’m an adult.And, yes, I was told it was about me.Now can I keep singing it or are you going to insist on being irritating and asking me more inane questions?”

“Carry on.”

Focusing on Laurent’s humming was much more pleasant than the cries and shouts from below.When Laurent reached the end of the song, he picked up again at the beginning.It was a kind gesture from Laurent, but the song was no longer distracting.Damen said, “Why do you like stroking my hair so much?”

“It’s something I do to my horses.”

“Ha ha.” 

“You know how much I love my horses.”

Damen laughed and reached up to pull Laurent down for a quick kiss.When Damen let go of the back of his neck, however, Laurent didn’t move away.He stayed, their noses touching, and leaned in again for something sweeter and longer.It was strange, the angles all wrong, but Damen wasn’t going to protest.Kissing Laurent was possibly his favorite thing.

There was a loud knock and Laurent pulled away.Damen shifted across the bed until he was at the bedside table, where a dagger was hidden.Only when Laurent saw Damen was properly positioned did he ask the knocker to enter.

It was a guard.Damen didn’t relax, however, until the guard said, “The castle is secure, Exalted.Dozens of arrests have been made and most have disbanded their efforts, though the patrols have been doubled in number for the rest of the evening.What would you like to be done with the prisoners?”

Damen looked to Laurent.“Let them go,” Laurent said.“Do let them know if they ever try anything like that again, however, I will be less lenient.”

Before the guard bowed and left, Damen said, “Nikandros and Jord?”

“I have not seen them, Exalted.Would you like me to find them and send them here?”

“Please.”

The guard nodded, departing.

“How are we going to move to Marlas?” Damen asked.“I don’t like leaving the palace unprotected.It’s beautiful.An unparalleled piece of Akielon architecture.I would prefer it didn’t fall to ruin.”

“Nothing lasts forever,” Laurent murmured.“But I thought, for the time being, we’d leave half your army here under the command of Jokaste.She should be able to keep it safe.”

“But…”

“It will be plenty.And the entirety of the Veretian army is already at Marlas, awaiting instruction, so we will have enough men.Please stop worrying, Damen.It’s all under control.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“I know,” Laurent murmured.Damen moved his legs back onto the bed and swiveled so his back was resting on the headboard.He threw his head back and gazed at the ceiling above him, wondering how it had come to this.He hoped that Nikandros and Jord were alright.

Laurent crawled across the bed, parted Damen’s knees with his hands, and then slipped into the space there, turning so his back was to Damen’s chest.Slowly, he let his weight fall into Damen and sighed.“I’m so tired,” he whispered.

“We’ll see to Nikandros and Jord and then we’ll sleep,” Damen replied.

Laurent nodded and picked up one of Damen’s hands, pressing kisses across all the knuckles, then one in the center of his palm.He left his lips there and breathed, inhaling Damen’s scent.Damen could feel Laurent’s tension unwinding and he smiled, helplessly.This, right here, was not something he would ever regret.These moments, Laurent allowing himself to lose all of his walls, to relax and not think, were worth more to Damen then palaces and servants and ruling.The only guilt he had came from wishing it didn’t affect his people in this way.

Laurent shut his eyes.Damen thought he might fall asleep, but that was immediately disturbed by Nikandros opening the door, Jord directly behind them.They were both grimacing and Jord was busy digging something out of Nikandros’ hair.

“Don’t you two look comfortable,” Nikandros growled.

“Nik,” Jord scolded.

Nikandros sighed, “Sorry.I’m happy you’re alive.I’m less happy that they were throwing food at me.I’ve rotten food in my hair, I got some in my mouth…it’s disgusting.”

“I don’t hear Jord complaining,” Laurent said.

Nikandros glared at Laurent, but didn’t argue.Instead, he collapsed into a chair and rolled his shoulder.Jord sat beside him and gently peeled off some of his armor, so he could check for injuries.Both looked as though they’d been dragged harshly along the ground by a horse.Damen tried to remind himself that, as King, people were supposed to do this for him.But, it didn’t feel right.He knew it didn’t feel entirely right to Laurent, either, but he’d always been pragmatic.Personal feelings were not something he often took into account.

“You’re both alright, though?” Damen asked.

Jord nodded.“Some light bruising, perhaps, but other than that…most didn’t have weapons and the ones that did had no idea how to use them.You did get a cut on the hand, though, didn’t you, Nik?”

“It’s just a scratch,” he grumbled.

Jord smiled and then shouted, in an imitation of Nikandros’ voice, “Jord, there’s blood everywhere!It hurts!Why do cuts on the hand hurt so goddamn much?”

Everyone laughed except Nikandros, who was slumped in his chair, avoiding everyone’s gaze.Then in a lightning fast move, he grabbed Jord and pulled him onto the ground.Jord grunted, his shoulder crashing into the hard stone, but then he started laughing.

“Is Nikandros tickling him?” Laurent asked, voice slightly bemused.

“I think he is,” Damen laughed.

“On our floor?”

“Apparently.”

Laurent watched them, face still and then with a deadly tone, “Don’t ever do that to me.”

Damen hadn’t been seriously considering it, but now he definitely wasn’t.That was not a tone to mess with.Still, it felt like too good of an opportunity to completely pass up.He said, a little louder, over the scuffling and loud gasps, “It’s probably good for control to be out of your hands every once in awhile.”

Laurent raised his eyebrows at Damen and waited for him to continue traveling down that train of thought.Damen didn’t.

Jord finally managed to push Nikandros off and slap him hard in the chest, but they were both smiling.In the silence that followed, Anais crept out from under the bed and huffed, as though the world were disappointing her.Leaping up onto the bed, she curled up on Laurent’s lap and, dutifully, Laurent petted her.

“That’s the cat?” Nikandros asked.He was trying to hide his horrified expression, but he was even worse at it than Damen was. 

“Anais,” Laurent clarified.

Jord approached carefully and lifted a hand for Anais to sniff.When she did, he stuck out his hand towards the top of her head.Damen wanted to warn him, but she’d already bitten him by the time Damen had formulated the words.

“Just like her owner,” Nikandros said.

Laurent was gazing at Anais fondly.

The next silence that followed was much heavier.All of them sensed the change and before it got tense and awkward, Damen asked the inevitable question.“What was it like out there?”

“You’ve really done it this time, my friend,” Nikandros said.

“Nik,” Jord said.

“Jord?” Laurent asked.

“There are some very angry people.There are some people angry at the very angry people.And there are some who are simply scared.It’s not going to change overnight.There’s a long way to go.But,” Jord murmured, “I know you two can do it.”

Damen smiled at Jord.Laurent rolled his eyes.“Of course we can.I want both of you to brainstorm candidates to assume your roles while you are gone.I expect them tomorrow morning.”

“Where are we going?” Jord asked.

“To Marlas with Damen and I.Jokaste is remaining behind with half the army, but I intend to bring both of you with me.Unless you would prefer to be separated?”

“Not particularly,” Nikandros mumbled.

“I thought not.In that case, candidates.Tomorrow we start preparations.”

“Is now really the best time to leave?” Nikandros asked.

Laurent turned his impassive eyes onto Nikandros’ and Nikandros flushed lightly, but didn’t bow his head as he would’ve done for Damen.Slowly, Laurent said, “All of Vere and Akielos is unstable and will continue to be unstable.More than half of our army is awaiting us at Marlas and it has an ideal position for the war to come.Damen and I have to leave eventually and I have complete faith that Jokaste can keep Ios safe.”

“You do?” Damen asked.

Laurent shrugged.It clearly said: _there’s no one else_.

Nikandros laughed shortly and rubbed a hand over his eyes.“We’re all fucked.This kingdom is fucked.If you two don’t destroy everything, Jokaste certainly will.Putting her in a position of power is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.”

“Noted,” Damen growled.

Nikandros threw his hands up into the air.“I’m tired of all the blonde hair and all the blue eyes.Being beautiful doesn’t make these people trustworthy.”

Jord laid a hand on Nikandros’s shoulder but he shrugged it off.

Laurent whispered, his hand gentle on Damen’s thigh, “Do you think trust is at all easy for me?”

“I don’t know,” Nikandros growled.“I hardly know you.”

“Don’t,” Jord murmured.“Don’t, Nikandros.”

Damen glanced at Laurent and then pushed his hair away from his face softly.Over and over again. 

Staring at the scene in front of him, Nikandros said, “What do you all know that I don’t?”

“That is none of your concern,” Laurent said.“Your only concern is that we are telling you how it is to be and you are going to do it.I don’t care if you complain the entire time.Please do.I’ll send Damen to listen to you when he’s irritating me, but don’t pretend your anger is going to change anything.”

Softly, Damen said, “I think we should all get some sleep.Nikandros, Jord, think of candidates.We will see you tomorrow.”The dismissal in his voice was clear and Nikandros sighed, stalking from the room, Jord trailing after.Before he closed the door, he shot an apologetic glance their way, as though it were his fault.Damen was glad Nikandros had someone like him.

Laurent shut his eyes and crawled under the covers.He was turned away from Damen, but Damen could see the tension in his shoulders, the way he was curled in on himself.Trying not to disturb the mattress or the sheets, Damen slowly sunk onto the bed and touched Laurent on the shoulder.A barely there touch.And then he waited.

Without opening his eyes, Laurent rolled into Damen, his nose burrowing into Damen’s chest.He whispered into the skin, “If it’s like this every day, I’m going to break.”

“I’ll pick up the pieces and stick them back together,” Damen replied.Even softer, “Are you alright?”

“No.”

Damen kissed Laurent’s hair and held him close.He could feel sleep tugging at the edges of his conscious, but he managed to push it away.As long as Laurent was awake, so was he.

Quietly, “You should tell him.”

“Hmm?”

“You should tell Nikandros about my uncle and I.”

“Why would I do that?” Damen asked.

“Because I can’t, he needs something to help him understand, and I think I would like him to know.If he’s a friend, as you like to tell me…” Laurent trailed off.When he came back, he said, “Is that not what friends do?I don’t really know.”

“If you still want that tomorrow, I will,” Damen murmured.“Now, please, go to sleep.It’s been a long day.”

“It has.”Laurent pressed harder into his chest.“Don’t move.”

Damen didn’t and they both fell asleep.

 

The next day, Laurent still wanted Damen to tell Nikandros, so he did, pulling him aside after he and Jord provided the names they’d brainstormed.Nikandros had blinked a couple of times and had then strode to Laurent to say, “Jokaste it is.”Then he left.The reaction was so sudden and strange, Damen wasn’t sure what to think about it, but decided against asking Nikandros for an explanation.

The days before Damen, Laurent, and their army left for Marlas, the palace was in a constant state of action and bustle.Patrols were still doubled, the people still on edge and protesting.Damen and Laurent hadn’t left the palace in days, to Damen’s consternation.He’d taken walking out among his people for granted and now that it was gone, he missed the chance to do so.

They would finally travel outside the walls today, however.Both he and Laurent had been terribly busy all morning.Damen had been getting the army prepared to ride, ordering inventories and repairs and the gathering of supplies.Laurent had been planning a route with Nikandros, relaying instructions to Jokaste, writing to Lazar at Marlas, and doing whatever thinking about the broader political landscape that he tended to do.He also sent Vannes to Vask and a young man named Iros to Patras.

Largely, everything had come together without a hitch.They were in the courtyard now, their entire army mounted, ready to ride, saying goodbye to Jokaste and Phaedrus.Damen was, anyway.

“Are you sure you are okay to do this?” Damen asked.“I’m worried something will happen and I don’t want you to get hurt.You or Phaedrus.”

Jokaste smiled reassuringly.“We’ll be fine, Damen.You are leaving a substantial number of men and I have walls to protect me.Besides, this is exactly the kind of thing I excel at, as you very well know.”

Damen pecked her cheek.“Fine.”He stroked Phaedrus’ face with a finger, then mounted his horse.Laurent had already done so and was currently patting the neck of his, murmuring something in its ear.When he was finished, he gazed down at Jokaste with hard eyes.

“Don’t betray me.”The words behind those were just as clear. _Or I will end you._ Damen wanted to tell Laurent off, but he took a moment to see what Laurent saw.An intelligent woman, who’d betrayed Damen once, no matter the reason, who now had an army that was ordered to listen to her every command.From Laurent, the sentiment was tame.

Jokaste held his eyes.“Take care of him.” Laurent nodded stiffly.Then he clucked his horse and they were off.Nikandros drew his horse up just behind Laurent and said, “That was reassuring.”

“Go away.”

Nikandros chuckled and slowed his horse, giving some space between him and Laurent. 

People lined the first stretch of the road they traveled on, trying to crowd the horses, shouting and occasionally throwing rocks.Luckily, the horses were battle-trained and they largely ignored the people around them.Damen’s eyes were watching for any sign of a projectile heading towards Laurent, but none came.He was relieved to see that the entire army held their heads high and kept moving, despite how uncomfortable the entire situation was.

They rode a good chunk of the day, not talking much.The soldiers behind them were plenty rowdy, but both Damen and Laurent were in their own heads and neither seemed to mind.Nikandros and Jord were chatting amiably behind them and, occasionally, Damen would catch a word of their conversation, though he tried not to eavesdrop in case it was personal.Despite the lack of conversation, Damen would catch himself staring at Laurent, the sun glinting in his hair.

They didn’t get particularly far, though they couldn’t see Ios, just craggy rocks and tall, yellow grass.The pace was unbearably slow and long before the sun was going to go down, Laurent called a troop-wide halt and commanded for camp to be set up.The soldiers set to work and Damen helped, wondering why they stopped so early in the day.Laurent went to set up watches and outriders instead of updating Damen.

Once their pavilion tent was set up, Damen went in, stripping off his sweaty riding clothes and putting on a fresh shirt: a loose one in the Veretian style.Then he slipped onto the floor of the tent, floating on the pillows, and thought about how far he and Laurent had come.They were riding to their new capital.Just at the thought, Damen was smiling helplessly.

Laurent walked into that smile and shook his head mockingly.“In love?”

“No.That would be ridiculous.Who are you again?Your face seems vaguely familiar.”

Laughing, Laurent joined him on the floor.Their hands touched, flung down with little care, but otherwise they were completely separate.Easing up onto an elbow, Damen said, “Tired?”

“I’ve been tired for days.” 

Damen could hardly tell, especially when Laurent sat up suddenly and directed Damen to the table set up in their tent.He rolled out a map on it, setting cups and pitchers on the corners to keep it flat and gestured for Damen to sit across from him.Damen’s mind flung back to nights spent just like this.Close proximity, candle light, boyish poses, confused feelings and constant tension.Smiling lightly, Damen did as he was told, Laurent pouring him a glass of water.He’d thought to have extra cups in their tent.It was so Laurent.He was in his element.

“Familiar?” Laurent asked. 

“Very.It’s strange.”

“Just like old times.”

“Except now I can do this.”Damen leaned over the table and kissed Laurent on the mouth.

Laurent smiled shyly and then, reinstating control, said, “Actually, no, you can’t.I need your undivided attention.” 

Laurent flicked his eyes down to the map and drew a finger along the path they were taking.“Now, I know Guion and Lord Lycus cannot predict the path we will take exactly, but I need you to outline for me any likely ambush sites, just in case.Better to be prepared then not at all.”Without looking up, Laurent snapped his finger down at the map.Damen’s eyes followed unconsciously.Laurent said, “Stop staring at my lips, Damianos.”

“I’ve missed this.And you.”

Laurent sighed.“You are under the impression we have time, aren’t you?I promise that if you talk this out with me, I will stop and take a breath for a little while.If you’re not going to help, I’ll call in Nikandros and Jord and give you a shift on watch during the evening.”

They talked for a couple of hours, Damen outlining likely ambush spots and Laurent outlining what was to be expected from Guion now that they were out in the open, most of it horrifying.Attacks at night, poisoned food (everything they ate and drank was to be tasted beforehand) ambushes, the burning of food and wine stores, anything to lower morale.The only advantage Laurent was sure they would have was numbers and quality of men.“The only people Guion will be able to attract are those who sell their services, whom I intend to buy away from him, and ordinary people, who have very little fighting skill.Though, they believe they are fighting for the very soul of their country, so they’re still dangerous,” Laurent had explained.

It was going to be long and drawn out and far from honorable, Damen could see that now.Guion simply didn’t have the numbers or quality to confront them outright.He didn’t have the forts either.But he did have the people and Damen knew that scared Laurent, which meant it scared him.

When they finished, Laurent came around the table and sunk into Damen’s arms, his head falling onto Damen’s shoulder, turning his head into his neck.Damen held him up, let him completely surrender all weight.

“Thank you,” Laurent said.

“For what?”

“Always being here.I needed this.”

“Did I win a bet I forgot about?”

“Don’t make me regret saying nice things or I’ll never say them again.”

There was a shout from outside and then something crashed.Damen started and said, “Do you think…”

Laurent pressed a kiss to Damen’s shoulder and said, “Stop.This is why we brought Jord and Nikandros.For all anybody knows we could be sleeping.We are allowed this.”

“You’re just saying that because you need it.”

Laurent flushed and Damen laughed, pulling Laurent tighter against him and then standing, carrying them to the bed, only made comfortable by piles and piles of blankets.They sprawled on top of them and curled around each other, both warm, both finally relaxed.Neither felt any pressing need to move anytime soon.In fact, Laurent was already practically asleep.

“I’m sorry,” Laurent said, blinking.Through his indomitable will, his eyes widened and the tiredness around his mouth lessened.“This is the first moment of respite we’ve had.I won’t fall asleep.”

“We have a lifetime of moments left, Laurent.Sleep.”

“But…”

“Don’t be ridiculous.You’re exhausted.I’m not going to be the one who keeps you awake.”Damen slipped from Laurent’s arms and began unlacing his boots, stripping them from Laurent’s feet.Next, he undid the pants and tugged them from Laurent’s legs.Then he returned, welcoming Laurent easily back into his embrace, and stroked his hair, just past his shoulders in length now.“Sleep, my love.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Which one of us can out-stubborn the other?” Laurent smiled.“This should be interesting.”

Damen rolled his eyes.“What would it take you to sleep?”

Laurent pondered the question, then replied, “A kiss and a story.You can pick which one you do first.”

“What kind of story?”

“One of you and Nikandros.”

“Alright.”Damen took a moment to gather his thoughts, then began: “We were twelve or thirteen and I had done something to anger my father, I don’t remember what exactly, but it resulted in the punishment of mucking out the horses’ stalls.I didn’t tell Nikandros what we were doing, only that it would be fun, and so he came with me.Of course, when he realized what we were doing, he complained and whined and threatened to strangle me, but he didn’t leave.He stayed and began mucking out the stalls.It took him a while to realize I was laughing and watching him and then he did tackle me to the ground.Even then, I was stronger than him, but I remember letting him pummel me a little bit, before I flipped us and shoved his hands into the ground.And then our eyes met and we both knew we weren’t going to finish mucking the stalls, damn my father, and we went to the beach, stripping naked, and flung water at each other for hours.”Damen chuckled.“My father was so angry with me.Nikandros, of course, wasn’t punished further, because he wasn’t punished in the first place, but my father ordered me to my room and kept me there for a week.It mostly meant that I couldn’t train with swords, which was what I would’ve done all hours of the day every day, if I could’ve.I wasn’t isolated, though.Nikandros was allowed to visit, as was Kastor, and Nikandros would come twice a day, sneaking in daggers so I could practice something.”

“He hasn’t changed much,” Laurent said.

“No.”

Laurent was silent, his face unreadable.Then, in gradual stages, so slowly that Damen almost didn’t notice, the mask fell away and Damen saw a deep and heartbreaking sadness, the kind that came from years and years of irreparable sorrow.The only person that could cause that was Auguste.That, right there, was how much he missed Auguste and Damen ached.

Laurent didn’t meet Damen’s eyes, but he didn’t hide the sadness either.Something moved in Damen, when he realized how important this moment was.Laurent’s last line of defense was his self-control, his ability to disguise any and all emotions, because they weren’t something he wanted to face, let alone admit.But here he was, allowing Damen to see. 

“You miss him,” Damen said, hoping that was the right thing to say.He didn’t want to scare Laurent away from doing something like this again. 

“I always miss him,” Laurent murmured.“I just…that was what Auguste and I had.I miss that.”

“I’m sorry.”

Laurent shook his head and moved in closer to Damen so that his warm hands were curling around Damen’s arms.“Stop apologizing.”

“I will always apologize for what I did to Auguste.”

Laurent shuddered and his head fell into Damen’s chest.Damen knew he was warring with himself, the constant struggle he waged between his love for Auguste and his love for Damen.All Damen could do was hold him, whisper, and berate himself for telling that particular story. 

When Laurent removed himself from Damen’s chest, sitting up, his eyes were wet and he was hurriedly wiping them dry.Damen watched him cautiously, unsure what Laurent needed.Laurent said, in a flat voice, “I’m tired of feeling like this.I’m tired of the nightmares, I’m tired of not being able to let Auguste go, I’m tired of my uncle haunting everything I do, still making decisions for me.I’m so goddamn tired.”

_I need you.Just you_.Damen, trusting that Laurent hadn’t lied about that, cupped Laurent’s face in his hands and kissed him softly.The fingers that clutched at his biceps were desperate, as though Damen’s arms were a cliffside.The kiss was pulsing with _I’m here, I’m here, I’m here_. 

It seemed to be enough.When Laurent pulled away, fingers still digging into Damen’s biceps, he smiled shakily and said, “I was going to seduce you so I could stay awake, but I don’t think I want that anymore.Thank you for the story.”

Damen laughed.“Yes.It had the exact effect I intended.”Then, much quieter, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“That’s a wall I haven’t seen down before.”

“Shut up,” Laurent grumbled, turning and pulling Damen’s arm around his waist, snuggling in, their bodies fitting perfectly.

“I love you,” Damen said. 

“I love you, too.”After a pause, “Those words are so inadequate.”

Smiling wide, Damen murmured, “Go to sleep, Laurent.”

 

The nightmares were numerous that night and neither of them got any sleep.It was the exact opposite of what Laurent needed and when the sun began to rise, the sharp rays of morning light piercing their tent, Damen stood.

“Don’t leave,” Laurent murmured.

With a sigh, Damen collapsed back on the bed.“I need to…I need to punch something or break something.I’d prefer to not do it here.Will you be alright until I get back?”

Then there was shouting and the clanging of metal and the sounds of feet pounding.In a rush, Damen stood, opened up the flap of the tent, and peered outside.Pallas and Aktis, who were flanking the entrance to the tent, said, “Exalted.Someone’s attacking.What are your orders?”

“Stay here.Protect Laurent.And give me a sword.”At least he now had something to punch.

Pallas handed his over and Damen ran, searching for the attackers.They weren’t hard to find.Most didn’t wear armor and had swords not meant for a serious battle.They were ordinary people.Angry, but ordinary.His subjects.And when he entered the battle, many of them cowered away, searching for someone else to hurt.

Damen found Nikandros and Jord and fought by their side, protecting their backs.He shouted, while slicing open the stomach of an older man, “Where did they come from?”

“From Ios,” Nikandros said.

“Damage?”

“We lost three men who were to slow to get out of their beds.Otherwise, everything is safe.I think they intended to attack at night but the journey took them longer than they intended.Besides, none of them know how to properly sneak up on a camp.We were prepared.”

Damen easily broke through the guard of another and killed her.“Nor are they particularly good at fighting,” he said.

“Something tells me Guion doesn’t care how many die, if there’s a chance it kills either you or Laurent,” Jord replied.

Damen knew Jord was right and he could feel his stomach roil at the thought.It was utterly disgusting, exploiting the people’s anger to die needlessly in a fight they never could’ve won.Damen wanted to find Guion and Lord Lycus and wring all the blood from their bodies.

It was over quickly, thirty bodies scattered all across the camp.Damen ordered them burned on pyres and told Nikandros that they were not going to march today.Laurent needed sleep and he was going to get it.Damen could care less when they finally arrived at Marlas, as long as Laurent was still sane when they did.

When he returned to the tent, after cleaning the sword he’d been given and returning it to Pallas, Damen noticed Laurent hadn’t moved.He did look up when Damen entered, however, and said, “I should’ve predicted a launch from Ios.”

“Only three died.Not much damage was done.”

“I should’ve come with you, but I…”

“Laurent, stop.You’re doing everything you can and I don’t expect more.We’re alive, we have Verlos, and we have a loyal army.It’s much better than anybody could’ve anticipated.You always knew this would get violent and it’s finally happening.”

“But they were your people, weren’t they?”

Damen nodded.Laurent stood and brushed his fingers across Damen’s cheek.“Are you okay?”

“No.But I will be.”

“I wish I could say the same.”A pause.“Come, we should get dressed.We have a long day ahead of us.”

“We’re not moving.You are going to get some sleep.Would you like me to stay with you?”

Laurent stared at him, his stance awkward and unsure.Finally, he said, “Damen, I don’t think we can afford to…”

“For once, let me take care of you.Please.”His voice came out desperate.For a minute, Damen considered being embarrassed, but when he saw Laurent blink slowly and then scrunch his lids together, he was glad he’d pushed. 

“Alright,” Laurent murmured.

Gently, Damen shoved him to the bed and lay down beside him.“Everything will seem better when you wake up,” he murmured.

“If you say so, Mother.”

“There’s the sense of humor I’ve been missing,” Damen said, sarcastically.

“I’m not going to be able to sleep if you’re talking to me.”Then, “You know what would help?Is if you stood right there,” he said, pointing, “And block the sun.You’re certainly big enough.”

“You don’t have to try so hard with me,” Damen whispered. 

Laurent curled into Damen and sighed.“Fine, be difficult.”

When he shut his eyes, sleep came quickly.As it should.Damen simply held Laurent and rubbed slow circles up and down his back.For hours and hours.He was more than happy to.


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am 47 kudos away from throwing the biggest party of my life...I don't understand how this is real or all of you are real, but thank you. I don't want to get sappy, but writing has never been this fun for me and that's saying a lot because it's the most fun I can have.  
> You're the coolest people in the world. Your comments are kind and generous. Like, seriously, you all make this so easy for me.  
> Thanks to my @vereandakielos who continues to be the best thing I have and to @KeybladeNinja who has given me some excellent ideas and has been generally awesome and sweet.  
> ENJOY! I love you all :)

In the late afternoon, Laurent stirred against him, a small smile on his face.When his eyes blinked open, he stretched, every part of his body arching into Damen’s. 

“Better?” Damen asked.

With a quiet rasp, “Still tired.I thought I’d free you, though.Go kill something or whatever it is you like to do for fun.”He rolled away from Damen, curling around himself, and shut his eyes once more.Damen grabbed one of the blankets at the end of the bed and laid it over Laurent.After pressing a kiss to Laurent’s neck, Damen left the tent, stretching away the gentle throbbing from his muscles that came from lying in one position too long.He peered around the camp.Most everyone was settling in for dinner, cups in hand, circling around just-lit campfires and sharing stories.As Damen searched for Nikandros, he made sure to stop by those who noticed him and share brief small talk, making sure moods stayed positive. 

Obviously separated from the rest of the troop, Damen found Nikandros sitting next to Jord, shoulders touching, passing a decanter of something, likely alcohol, between them.They heard Damen approach and they both smiled over their shoulders at him, clearly an offer to join them.For that, Damen was relieved.While he could be companionable with any soldier here, he preferred to be with friends tonight.He was tired, too, and he didn’t have to pretend around these two.

“How’s Laurent?” Jord asked.

“Sleeping, finally.I wasn’t sure it could be done, so I’m relieved.Nobody minded resting a day, did they?”

Nikandros shrugged.“Some were confused, as we just left Ios, but all of them are more than happy to have an excuse to have a good time.There were lots of drinking games and cards.Nobody’s done anything stupid.I’d count that a success.”

“Good,” Damen sighed, rubbing his eyes.He’d have to turn in early tonight.These past couple of days had affected him more than he thought. 

Both Nikandros and Jord noticed.Softly, Jord said, “Nik and I are more than happy to pick up some extra duties if you ever need us to.You and Laurent should not have to carry all of this alone.It’s too much for two people.Too much for four, even.”

“It’s nothing you can help with.”Then, thinking perhaps that wasn’t enough, “It’s personal.Laurent enjoys taking care of everything but himself.”

Jord nodded, head bobbing lazily, as though it were something he was very used to.“You know, when he first started training intensely with a sword, determined to beat you, he’d work until every part of his body hurt.Not just ached, but hurt.So much so that he could barely walk the next day and yet, he’d come right back and continue, forcing himself through the pain.It was awful to watch.None of us had the power to stop it, either.”A thoughtful expression dawned on Jord’s face.“Though, you managed to make him camp here another day.I couldn’t even get him to stop when he could no longer hold a sword.He would just move on to footwork exercises.”

Nikandros shook his head.“It’s amazing he’s capable of anything.Don’t tell him I said that.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” Damen smiled. 

Jord was watching Damen, as though searching for an answer to some question in the lines of his face.Softly, “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank you enough.I never knew Auguste, but I didn’t think he’d ever be able to love someone again after everything that happened.”Then, with a chuckle, “You’ve always been his reason to live.I’m glad it’s not out of revenge any longer.”

“As am I.”

“I thought you were wrong for the longest time, Damen,” Nikandros said.“Not just about Laurent, but about Veretians as well, and I was waiting for the moment I could say ‘I told you so’.But, Laurent didn’t betray you and then it became obvious he was in love with you, the man who killed his brother, and then I figured out his life was worse than all of ours combined and…it’s not just Vere that’s disgusting.It’s the entire world.The story shouldn’t have ever gotten this convoluted.”

“Mature of you, Nik,” Jord said.

“It’s been known to happen.”

Jord leaned in and kissed his cheek, leaving Nikandros with a smile.

“You can’t act any differently around him,” Damen said, once he became aware Nikandros was discussing the revelation of the abuse.“He wouldn’t want that.In fact, he would likely see it as a betrayal.I was impressed he even let me tell you.”

“He wouldn’t have if he thought there was any other way to get me firmly on his side.I’m not stupid.I’ve known Jokaste long enough to know him, at least, that part of him.Both of them will sacrifice almost anything to get what they want.”

Damen shrugged.“Maybe.He did say something about friends, though.”

Jord’s eyebrows shot up and Nikandros turned to Damen, his mouth hanging open slightly.Then in a bluster of scattered thoughts, “He…what…I mean, no.No.I didn’t even think he understood the concept.”It was clear from Jord’s small smile that he hadn’t either.There was a long silence as all three of them considered what that meant.It was hard to tell what Nikandros was thinking, though Damen thought he was likely still in a state of shock, but the smile on Jord’s face got bigger and bigger until it was all Damen could see.Jord wanted to be Laurent’s friend, which perhaps, shouldn’t have surprised Damen, but it did.Laurent was hard to like.It was even harder to want to like him.Damen remembered that much.He supposed that Jord had known him for a long time, but even more surprising really, was the fact that Jord was allowing himself to imagine he and Laurent as friends.The differences in their stations had been a barrier before.

“Nothing’s going to change,” Damen reminded him.

Jord laughed.“I know.It makes the snide comments easier to bear, though.”

Leaning closer to Nikandros, Jord murmured, “Alright, love?You look like you’ve died and come back.”Damen turned his head away to hide his smile at Jord’s word choice.It would be better if he pretended he hadn’t heard.

“Friends with the King of Vere,” Nikandros said, “I think, perhaps, we’re all insane.”

“Verlos,” Damen said.

“Right, sorry.Verlos the Shit-Named.”

Everyone laughed.A beat later, Jord stood, wiping off his pants and said, “I’m going to turn in for the evening.I happen to know Laurent is going to force us out of bed very early in the morning.It would be smart of both of you to do the same.”

Nikandros nodded, but remained seated.Damen decided to stay with him as long as he was out here.

“Don’t wake me up when you get in,” Jord said and then kissed Nikandros once, then twice, then thrice, the kisses progressing in length and impropriety.Before they could continue, Damen told them off.Nikandros laughed, flushing, and Jord smirked before walking away.Nikandros turned and watched him leave and then took another swig from the decanter.He offered it to Damen and Damen accepted.

“You two are inseparable,” Damen said, taking a sip.He hadn’t known they were sharing a tent.

“So are you and Laurent,” Nikandros shot back.

“I’m not making fun of you, just observing.Do you love him?”

Nikandros reached for the decanter.Damen handed it back and waited.Whispering into the quiet, only broken by the rustling of grass and the soft murmurs of voices from camp, “Yes.I do.But, I haven’t told him”

“Why not?”

“How long did you love Laurent before you told him?”

Damen grimaced, but answered truthfully.“Awhile.”

“There you go.”

“I suspect our reasons are not the same.”

“You tell me why and I’ll tell you why.”

Damen sighed.“I fell in love with him and I wasn’t sure he even liked me.Besides, when I first realized it, there was nothing that could come from what I felt.It would’ve made everything worse if I’d said anything.And then he tried to shove me away and when he finally came back to me, I was never sure it was going to last.For the longest time, I thought it all a dream.”

“That’s unsatisfying.I already knew all of that.”

“A deal’s a deal.”

Rough with honesty, Nikandros said, “It’s been a short amount of time, Damen.Barely more than a couple of months.It wasn’t all that long ago, either, that he was in love with Aimeric.I don’t want to scare him away and I don’t want him to feel guilty.Right now, I can handle keeping it inside.It’s new.”

Damen nodded.“You would know best.As long as you’re happy.”

Nikandros smiled.“Very.”

“Good.That’s what you’ve always deserved.”

They finished the decanter together, sharing their perspective on a games Damen’s father had hosted when members of the Patran royal family had visited Ios.It was easy to lose track of time with Nikandros.Conversation wasn’t even necessary.They could sit silently, thinking and listening to the sounds of the camp around them.It was comfortable and eased all of the tension in Damen.He was hardly even thinking of Laurent or worrying about whether or not he was sleeping.The rise and fall of Nikandros’ shoulders, his presence, was so different from everyone else.It was years of knowing each other, years of knowing that they were the only thing either one of them could consistently depend on, years of exactly this moment repeated over and over again, but never getting old.Damen had needed this.So had Nikandros.

When the sun was close to setting, Nikandros said, “Do you think we all survive this?”

“I thought your military training would’ve taught you not to ask that question.”

“It did, but I’m asking anyway.I’ve got quite a bit to lose.We both do.”

“Is what I think going to change anything?”

Nikandros considered that, then shook his head.“Good point.”A pause and then, “I’m going to bed.It’s been a while since we did this.Let’s not let it go so long again.”

“Alright,” Damen said.

Nikandros clapped him on the shoulder, squeezing gently, then used that very shoulder to help himself stand.Damen was quick to follow him and they separated with waves, when Nikandros reached his tent.Continuing on through the camp, Damen shouldered aside the flap to his tent and saw Laurent awake, sitting at the table, poring over a map and eating an orange.He didn’t look up when Damen entered.He was wearing his incredibly focused look.Damen could almost see his mind working and the clarity in the bright blue eyes was reassuring.Laurent was well on his way back to normal.

Not wanting to disturb him, Damen went to the bed and began checking the straps on their riding leathers and the sharpness of their swords.It was mindless and easy work, work Damen was more than happy to do, even though it was technically not the job for a king.

There was rustling from where Laurent was sitting and Damen looked up to see Laurent watching him.Damen smiled, acknowledging the look, and then returned to his work.

“You were gone awhile,” Laurent said.

Glancing back up, Damen was happy to see that it wasn’t an admission of jealousy or anger that Damen hadn’t been there for him, but instead a simple curiosity.Nodding, Damen said, “I was with Nikandros and Jord.Mainly Nikandros, actually.Jord went to bed early.He seems to think he has an early morning ahead of him.”

“I didn’t realize he was so intelligent.I think, perhaps, he knows too much about me.I’m blaming you.”

“I’ll take the blame if you forgive me for telling them you consider them friends.”

Laurent leaned back in his chair and smiled, the edges sharp enough to cut.Damen couldn’t help smiling back.All of Laurent was revitalized and it was a relief to see, even if he was staring at Damen like he was considering ways to murder him.

“I should’ve known better than to trust you with that information.You’re too invested in my happiness.”

“I can’t help it.”

“I know,” Laurent shot back, the mood instantly shifting into teasing.Then, “Would you like to know the one problem with sleeping away the day?I’m not even remotely tired now.I think, if I’m to get any sleep tonight, I’ll have wear myself out somehow.Do you have any ideas?”

Clearly, Laurent already had an idea in mind and Damen thought he knew what it was.But, they were in the middle of a camp, where most were still awake, and Damen was exhausted.Unlike Laurent, he hadn’t gotten the sleep he needed today.So, he said, “Pick up a sword and challenge every man in camp to a duel?”

“Well, that’s a surprise.”

“Hmm?”

“You’ve never said no to sex before.Have a trying day, sitting around, talking to Nikandros?”

“No.It has more to do with the lack of sleep from holding you after nightmares.Would you have preferred me to sleep through those?Let you handle them yourself?”

“I can, you know.I managed before you came along.”

“You’re welcome,” Damen grumbled.

Laurent’s sparkling eyes shifted to something softer and he said, “I am grateful.However, it has little to do with why you’re tired now.I slept all day.You easily could’ve done the same.It’s your own fault and I find that I have little interest in protecting you from your own stupidity.”Laurent rose from the chair and settled on the bed beside Damen.“Now, set down the sword, and fuck me.”

“That’s one way to get what you want,” Damen said, dryly, continuing to drag the whetstone across the blade.

“And, yet, it’s not working.”

“It sounds like a lot of work.”

Laurent smiled and trailed his fingers down Damen’s cheek, neck, and into the hollow of his collarbone, where he pressed hard enough to hurt.Then, when he felt it was long enough, Laurent removed his fingers and kissed the spot.

The kisses began to travel, moving up to Damen’s neck.Damen attempted to make it difficult for Laurent, but Laurent was persistent.Heat was rising in Damen’s veins and part of him wanted nothing more than to pour Laurent into the sheets and kiss whatever he could reach, but his exhaustion managed to break those thoughts up enough that he ground out, “Stop, please.”

Laurent automatically retreated and watched Damen.Damen could tell by the way he was holding himself, everything tense, that he was nervous, worried he had upset Damen, pushed too hard, worried he’d done the very thing that had been done to him.

“Relax, Laurent.It’s fine.”Damen set down the sword and whetstone.“Let me think about it.In the meantime, talk to me.About whatever.”

Some of the tension in Laurent’s shoulders eased and he said, “How are Nikandros and Jord?”

“Good.”Not wanting Laurent to be so far away, Damen waved him over.There was a moment where Damen knew Laurent was considering protesting just to spite Damen, but eventually he sighed, and moved so that their thighs were touching.Damen reached for his hand and Laurent let him.“I have a question, actually,” Damen continued.“You know Jord better than I do.”

“Are you going to ask it?”

“You’re in a mood.”

“Well-rested.”

“Nikandros told me he loved Jord, but that he hasn’t told him yet because he’s concerned it will scare Jord away, that it’s too soon after Aimeric.Do you think that’s true?” Damen asked.

“I could care less about what happens between them.No, I take that back.It would be better if they stopped.Jord, in love, does idiotic things.”

“Lying to me doesn’t work anymore.”

Laurent sighed.“Fine.But, I honestly do not care about making it easier for them.That is the truth.”

“Humor me.”

“How important is it to you?”

Damen, predicting where Laurent was going with this line of questioning, laughed shortly.“Am I particularly attractive right now or something?Why the sudden urge?”

“Do I need a reason?You never do.”

“Nice, Laurent.”Damen sighed.“Forget it.I need to sleep, anyway.I’ll try again at the crack of dawn.”Lying down, Damen felt around for a blanket to pull up over him.Laurent hadn’t moved and wasn’t making it easier to do so.Finally, he managed to at least cover his legs and he slammed his head into the pillow, stubbornly shutting his eyes.

“You’re worried about the men hearing us, aren’t you?I assure you, I can be silent.”

Damen groaned.“I’m sleeping.”

“You’re talking.”

Ignoring him, Damen turned his mouth into the pillow so he wouldn’t talk back.Laurent, realizing the tactic he was using wasn’t working, laid down beside Damen and trailed fingers up and down his spine.“I didn’t mean to irritate you.I’m in a good mood is all and I thought to share it with you.I didn’t realize you were so tired.”

This tactic was working much better.Damen groaned again and opened his eyes to Laurent’s gold and ivory, lips only inches away from his.“I can’t stay silent.That doesn’t seem fair.”

Laurent smirked.“I’m not sure you can bargain for two things.You’re already getting an answer to your question about Nikandros.”

“Fine, but only if it’s slow.”

“That’s hardly going to burn through any of my energy.”

“Then I suggest you make a lot of noise,” Damen mocked.

Laurent quirked an eyebrow, eyes sparkling, his body shifting towards Damen, and he whispered into Damen’s ear, “Are you sure that’s what you want?The entire camp to know what we’re doing?”

Damen doubled over in laughter.Bemusedly, Laurent watched him and then he said, voice louder, “You don’t think I’d do it.”

When the laughter subsided, Damen looked at Laurent and felt the blood leave his face.The smile on Laurent’s face was predatory and terrifying.There was no question in Damen’s mind that making noise during sex was something Laurent disliked, the loss of control was too much, but Damen had suddenly given him a very good reason to do exactly that.

Then, blue eyes fixed on his, Laurent let out a long, loud groan.Appalled, Damen clapped a hand over his mouth.“I was teasing.Let’s pretend I didn’t say a thing.”Slowly, Damen lifted his hand away and Laurent smiled.

“Too late for that, lover.You’ve dug yourself too deep.”In a fast motion, he straddled Damen and kissed him, twining their fingers together and digging them into the sheets.Somewhere in the back of his mind, Damen knew this was a bad idea, that he would regret it in the morning when the news reached Nikandros, but Laurent’s tongue was tracing his and any self control disappeared. 

They kissed and kissed, slowly, Laurent taking control, leaving Damen with very little work and when Laurent had had enough of that, he rolled off Damen and removed his clothes.He did that slowly, too, peeling away the fabric inch by inch and trailing kisses all across Damen’s chest.

“Happy to just lie there?” Laurent asked.

Damen nodded.Exhaustion had turned into lazy pleasure, but either way, he was uninterested in moving.Straddling Damen once more, Laurent removed the loose white shirt he was wearing, the only thing he was wearing, and then rolled his hips, their cocks sliding against each other.Damen brought his hands up to Laurent’s waist and pressed his head deep down into the pillow, biting his lip.He could manage to stay quiet.

Laurent placed a finger at the corner of Damen’s lip and pressed his fingernail hard into it.“I want to hear you,” he murmured, before letting out a low moan himself.Damen was unsure whether it was real or Laurent’s attempt to prove him wrong, but it hardly mattered, because when Damen heard that sound, unrestrained and seemingly honest, it was the only thing that Damen wanted to hear for the rest of his life.He would do anything to hear it again. 

Bucking up, pressing harder, there it was again.Laurent was fully flushed now and his eyes were on Damen’s.This was an intimacy that was almost always painful in its honesty, but they’d moved past being uncomfortable about it a while ago.Lifting his hands from Laurent’s hips, Damen ran his hands up the flat planes of Laurent’s chest and then flicked the nipples with his thumbs.

Laurent kept the pace easy, the way he liked it, the way Damen needed it tonight, and when they were both agonizingly hard, he wound his hand around their cocks and pressed them together as he twisted and stroked, until Damen was arching upwards, his body curling towards Laurent.Unsure what he wanted, Damen moaned in a fractured voice, “Kiss me.”Anything to distract himself from the pooling heat that was bound to overflow sooner than he would like.

Laurent’s kiss missed, hitting the corner of his mouth, but then he found his way, Damen opening his mouth to him.When Laurent removed his hand from their cocks to cup the back of Damen’s head, Damen whimpered at the loss.

“You look significantly less tired,” Laurent murmured, rocking again.

With a gasp, Damen said, “Talking is the least useful thing that mouth could be doing right now.” 

Laughing breathlessly, Laurent leaned down to Damen’s ear and whispered, “I want you to come inside me.I want to feel it dripping down the backs of my thighs.”

Damen groaned and grabbed Laurent’s face, kissing him soundly.“Warn a man next time, would you?” 

Laurent stood, kissing Damen’s hipbone before he did, and strolled to the saddlebags and dug through them for oil.The movements were lithe and relaxed, muscles bunching in his thighs, calves, and back as he walked.The light bathed his skin and when he turned, coming back to Damen, his arousal was strident and obvious.Once, Laurent would’ve been shy approaching him now, undressed, but now, he simply raised an eyebrow, only making the heat harder to ignore.

“Prepare me, would you?” Laurent said, folding at the end of the bed and resting on his forearms, the motion as practiced as it always was.It was something Laurent did less often, now, as he knew it reminded Damen of his past, but Damen pushed through the ache in his chest and grabbed the oil from the bed where Laurent had thrown it.

He coated the fingers of his right hand and inserted one finger into Laurent’s tight hole, curling it, before setting a gentle rhythm that Lauren subtly pushed back into.He groaned Damen’s name loudly when Damen inserted a second finger and Damen almost came.

“You’re going to have to be careful or you won’t have anything to fuck yourself on,” Damen said, scissoring the fingers, leaving Laurent a panting and writhing mess.

“Well, then, I’d better hurry,” he finally managed, swiveling and pushing Damen back onto the bed.Planting his hands on Damen’s chest, he raised himself above Damen’s cock and then slowly pushed down, until Damen was fully inside. 

“Fuck, Laurent.Move.”

Instead, Laurent leaned over and kissed Damen.Only then did he shift his hips.Their lips didn’t meet, the need for air too earnest, the sounds emanating through the room too necessary to both to mute them.

It wasn’t long before both of them came, Damen’s hand pumping Laurent’s cock, and Damen saw white for a moment, his mind fuzzy.When he came down, his entire body was delightfully sluggish.Laurent, only slightly more aware, wiped them down and then collapsed beside Damen, nuzzling his neck gently with his teeth.

“You’re welcome,” he said.

Damen shook his head, grinning, and said, “I hate you.Can I sleep now?”

“I suppose.I could go another round.”

“I definitely can’t.”He was already struggling to keep his eyelids from falling shut.

Laurent kissed his cheek, then stood.Damen felt that side of his body grow cold and he grumbled.Lazily, he watched as Laurent picked up his chiton and gathered it around his body and then he walked towards the entrance of the tent.More interested now, Damen raised himself onto his elbows to watch.

Laurent remained framed in the door of the tent.There were rumblings coming from a conversation between him and the guards.It was quick and when Laurent returned, he dropped the chiton and crawled back into a bed, drawing a sheet up over their bodies.

“What was that about?”

“I asked if they could wake me up just before dawn if it didn’t appear I was already awake.I also asked if they heard us.One did comment you must be a good lover.”

“That’s more than enough information,” Damen sighed, turning onto his stomach, his preferred sleeping position when he wasn’t holding Laurent.Laurent hated it when he slept like this.He claimed it was because he couldn’t see Damen’s face, which was still too intimate for him, but Damen knew it was just a cover.A truth given, so a larger one wasn’t admitted.What Laurent disliked was seeing the scars.For the most part, he avoided them when he could.

There was a small, sharp intake of breath.Damen kept himself firmly planted against the pillow, willing himself not to turn and look.Laurent would be able to pull him into a conversation if he wasn’t careful and then he’d be just as tired tomorrow as he had been today.

Cold fingers slipped over the skin on his back and Damen flinched lightly.He had not been expecting the contact, nor the cold.The hand retreated.Internally, Damen reprimanded himself for doing exactly what Laurent wanted him to do.Not willing to give up completely, he didn’t turn around, but he did say, “I just wasn’t expecting it.You know you can touch me anywhere.”

The hand returned, gentle and soft.It was nice in the way Laurent’s fingers running through his hair was nice.Despite himself, he could feel sleep infringing.It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but, as experiences like this with Laurent always did, this felt important.

He thought he heard, as he was falling asleep, Laurent say, “How can I possibly forgive myself?”There was no answering him.All Damen felt was a sense of wrongness and a desire to remember those words, before there was nothing.

 

When he woke, Laurent was gone.It was almost dawn.All of the bags were packed and soldiers were strolling around, cleaning and clearing what they could with Damen still in bed.Sitting up, he noticed a note at the end of the bed.Damen picked it up and read:

 

_Damen,_

 

_When you wake, or the soldiers wake you, whichever comes first, I need you to get the camp up.  I would like for them to be ready to ride out by dawn._

_Something came up.  Do not worry, I’ll be fine.  If I thought it was going to be dangerous, I would’ve brought you with me._

_Stop glaring at the parchment.  It didn’t do anything to you._

_I’ll be back by dawn._

 

_Laurent_

 

Damen ripped the parchment in half, then in half again, growling, and put clothes on.Then he left his tent, ordering the soldiers to pack it up, and wondered what Laurent could possibly be doing as he shouted at the soldiers to get up and get moving.

They did without question, though with some complaining.Some also gave him appraising looks.Apparently, news of last night had spread quickly.Once that was done, Damen stormed over to Pallas and said, “Who was guarding my tent this morning?”

Pallas, who looked exhausted, yawned and said, “Proctus and Tiro, Exalted.Would you like me to find them?I expect they’re busy somewhere else by now.”

“I…” Damen sighed.“No.”Laurent would be back soon.There was no point making a scene over this.Not unless Laurent didn’t return at dawn.Everything in him was antsy, however, and everyone who received orders from that morning could tell.The orders were brisker than usual. 

Nikandros approached him as things were being loaded into wagons and said, “Damen, you’re putting everyone on edge.You’re putting me on edge.What’s going on?”

“Laurent left this morning and he didn’t disclose where or why.”

“It’s always interesting with him,” Nikandros sighed.“I can punch him for you when he gets back, since I know you won’t do it yourself.”

Damen glared and Nikandros raised his hands in apology.Quietly, “Did he say he was going to be alright?”

Damen nodded.

“Then he’ll be alright.Come.The camp is under control and if, for some reason, it no longer is, Jord can handle it.”

Damen followed Nikandros, who found two swords and then led them to the outskirts of the camp.Damen was grateful suddenly, grateful that he was understood, that his worry was being taken seriously, and when their swords met in a clash of metal, Damen smiled.Nikandros shot him a feral grin back and then swung, aiming for his side, which Damen parried with a quick motion.

It was distracting, as Nikandros had intended, and a relief.The exercise was perfect, waking Damen up and preparing him for the day ahead.He hardly noticed as some of the soldiers gathered to watch, ignoring their duties.He was too wrapped up in anticipating Nikandros’ next move and watching the angles of his body carefully.

There was a loud shout, definitely from Jord, that sent the soliders scattering back into work.That had made Nikandros smile and had distracted him momentarily, enough for Damen to find a break in his defense and rest his sword against Nikandros’ side, turning it to the flat of the blade and rapping him twice, as they’d done when they were younger.

“Again?” Nikandros asked.

“Again.”

They had three more bouts, Nikandros winning the last, because Laurent had shown up, standing a couple steps back behind Nikandros, arms crossed, but smiling.Damen was almost able to recover in time, but not quite, Nikandros rapping twice against his neck.

Nikandros turned and approached Laurent.“Next time, tell him where the fuck you’re going.If I hadn’t been here, I’m confident he would’ve had a breakdown.Also, know I want to punch you.”

“Why don’t you, then?” Laurent said.

“He won’t let me,” Nikandros said, jerking a thumb backward.“If you decide you want to be punched, though, let me know.I’d be happy to.”Then he shoved past Laurent, their shoulders crashing together.Laurent turned and watched him, then came to Damen.

“He really shouldn’t do that in public.I could have him flogged.I should, in fact.”

“Laurent…”

“Just warn him, because next time, I will.”

“Warn him yourself,” Damen sighed, walking away, the sword dangling from his hand.Laurent followed, as Damen knew he would, but he didn’t say anything, which was a surprise.Handing off the sword, because he would wear his own while riding, he went to where their tent was currently being disassembled.Swearing, he kept walking, past the tent and out of the camp, out of hearing range of any of the soldiers.It wasn’t as though this was a conversation that couldn’t be overheard, but Damen knew Laurent would prefer it to be a private one.

Damen faced Laurent and waited for him to talk, eyes commanding.Sensing something in Damen, Laurent unwound from his austere stance into something more boyish and said, quietly, “I’m sorry.I did know better, but I wanted you to get as much sleep as you could.”

“Wake me up next time.”

“Alright,” Laurent said.His eyes were cautious and he didn’t move closer. 

“You’re going to make me ask?Maybe I should’ve let him punch you.”

Laurent bit down on his lip and brushed his bangs away from his face.“No, I…I’m sorry, Damen.”

“Stop apologizing.”His tone was forceful and he considered taking the words back, to say something yielding, but Damen thought, perhaps, he’d taken that tone for a reason.His patience had finally cracked and he was deciding to push.In the moment, it felt like he wasn’t asking for much.

“I’m sorry,” Laurent said, again, firmly and loudly.“I’m sorry that I have a hard time understanding what’s allowed, I’m sorry that I hate the fact there are rules to this, I’m sorry that loving you is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and that it rarely gets easier.I’m even more sorry that I put those scars on your back, that I don’t handle being pushed well, even when I clearly need it or deserve it.I’m sorry I haven’t apologized for all of that until now, but I’m trying to be open, I’m trying to trust, I’m trying to follow all the rules, because losing you would wreck me.And it scares me.There’s going to be moments where I do things alone, where I shut down, where I retreat, because the last time I let myself love anything the way I love you, my entire world crumbled.And I need you to be alright with that.I need you to be able to hold it together, to realize that even though you’re privy to information most are not, I’m still the Laurent you met in Arles.I will always weigh risks and plan and be true to my word.I need you to trust me with myself.”

There was a flush on Laurent’s cheeks and then the rawness disappeared from his face, retreating inwards, as he raised his eyes to meet Damen’s cooly.It was an ultimatum.Damen knew that, somehow.Fortunately, it was something he was willing to give Laurent, but the fact that it was an ultimatum scared Damen.If this had been something he wasn’t willing to compromise on, he could’ve lost Laurent.

Laurent knew it, too.The tenseness in his body was profound.Damen could feel it from where he was standing, as though it were rays of sunlight.

Not wanting to prolong the moment, Damen nodded.“Alright.Just tell me one thing.”

Laurent waited.

“Can you take care of yourself?”

“I can.”

“And if you find you can’t, will you let me help?”

“I will.”

“Good.Now, are you going to tell me where you were?” Damen asked. 

Laurent moved closer, increasing the intensity of the air around them that hadn’t dissipated, even when the fight was seemingly over.Damen kept himself within his space, arms folded, until Laurent slowly reached for his hand and uncurled his arm from his chest.Gently, he kissed Damen’s wrist, before setting it at Damen’s side.

“Of course.I had a rider in the night, a message from Enguerran.The negotiations for your child are complete.Apparently, the Vaskian women were alright with giving you the child to raise, as long as we took care of Kashel during the pregnancy so that if it’s born female, they would not know.They would wish to keep the child otherwise.We’re also to keep sending them jewels and money for as long as we’re alive and to allow them to visit the child whenever they wish.They would also like to offer the child the chance to live with them when it turns eighteen, if she’s born female.

“So, I was meeting with Enguerran, who has been slowly making his way to Akielos, where he thought we would be.He sends me letters, regularly updating me of his position, so I predicted where he would be and went to meet him.”

“Is Kashel here, then?”

“She is.Enguerran and his retinue rode back with me.He insisted.”

“I’m glad,” Damen said.

“They are to leave when we do, but back towards Ios.I’ve sent a letter to Jokaste, informing her of who they are.I’ve also told her if she gets any clever ideas about killing Kashel or your child, that she would regret it.”

“She probably already knew that.”

Laurent shrugged.“I enjoy threatening her.”

Laughter bubbled to the surface and Damen let it out, knowing that Laurent needed to hear that he was okay, that they were okay.Relief swept over Laurent’s face and he touched Damen’s cheek lightly, before grabbing his hand and leading them back to camp. 

Damen stopped him with a tug just before they integrated themselves back into the preparations.“You never did answer my question about Nikandros and Jord.I believe I’m owed.”

“You are.”Laurent thought for a moment, picking through words and then said, “I don’t know how he felt about Aimeric.It could’ve been love, though I think it probably wasn’t.Nikandros, on the other hand, is very real to him, that much I can tell.He wouldn’t have made his affections so obvious, otherwise.I can’t guarantee that he loves Nikandros, though I can guarantee that he likely doesn’t think he is, not yet.But, I do know that if Nikandros told him the truth, nothing bad would happen.Nor would Jord find it uncomfortable or unexpected.” 

“Excellent,” Damen smiled, wondering when he could next get Nikandros alone to tell him.

Laurent laughed and pulled him further into the camp.“How are you so hopelessly romantic?”

Damen laughed, too, and noticed it was just past dawn.It was time to continue on to Marlas


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY FUCKING GOD. I DIDN'T ACTUALLY THINK THAT....this fanfiction is possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you and I love you all.  
> Also, this chapter is special and a little bit different AKA a different POV enters for a tiny bit. To give a small hint: I like to call this chapter the Jord and Nikandros chapter. I just had to, guys. I hope you like it alright.  
> As always, thank you and enjoy! <3

Before they rode out, Damen went to find Kashel.He didn’t know what he was going to say, but he felt he had to say something, offer support, let her know that he was grateful and that she could ask for anything during her stay in Ios and it would be hers.The problem was he didn’t know her at all, other than that she was a pleasing sexual partner and that now she was the mother of his child and he was riding away to war.When he returned, or she traveled to Marlas, Damen would have to make sure he took the time to know her before she returned to her tribe.Hopefully there would be time for that.

When she saw him, she smiled and greeted him, her Vaskian slightly over-pronounced, so that he would understand.Normally, it would rankle him, but her eyes were hesitant, offering to speak as usual if asked, and frankly, Damen needed the help.

“You look well,” Damen said, glancing down at her visibly swollen stomach.Her hair was shining and there was a rich flush on her cheeks.Smiling again, she ran a hand over the bump and then offered her hand to Damen.Slowly, Damen laid his hand in hers and she brought it up against her stomach.

“You child is right there,” she said.“It’s very strong.I’ve already felt it moving.”

Unsure, Damen splayed his fingers across her stomach and glanced up into her warm, brown eyes to make sure it was okay.She nodded reassuringly and he said, keeping his hand where she’d positioned it, “Thank you, Kashel.I know it can’t be easy to…” he paused, searching for a word, “Give up your child before it’s born.”

“It is the child of a king.It’s an honor to give my child to you.I know it will have a good life.”

Damen stepped back, removing his hand, worried he’d touched the smooth skin too long, and said, “Anything you may need in Ios, let Jokaste know.She will provide it for you.If she doesn’t, write me or Laurent and we will make it happen.”

“It will be fine,” she replied.“You do not need to worry.” 

Damen thanked her again and then turned to Enguerran, who was already mounted on his horse, waiting for Damen to finish his conversation.When he noticed Damen staring at him, he turned and said, “Exalted?”

“Stay with her when you arrive.Not many in Ios can speak Vaskian.”

“I won’t leave her side.”

Damen nodded and left, Laurent waiting, holding out the reins of Damen’s horse to him.When Damen took them, Laurent said, “So?”

“She looks healthy.She says the baby is strong,” Damen said, swinging his leg over his horse.

Shyly, Laurent smiled and kissed the side of Damen’s thigh, the part he could most easily reach.“I’m glad,” he whispered, bowing his head.

“Me too.”

Laurent kept his eyes to the ground for a beat longer and then turned to mount his own horse.Their army was gathered behind them in a long line, wagons in the center, and with a call from Laurent, they were moving, with each step, closer to Marlas.

 

The ride was uneventful.They passed two of the sites Damen had indicated as possible ambush spots with careful, watchful eyes.Each time they passed, Damen would breathe easily again, pleased that they could go a day without fighting someone.That night, they made camp just beyond one of the ambush sites and once he and Laurent had seen to their respective duties, they searched for Jord and Nikandros to share a drink and some words before they went to bed.It had been a surprise to Damen when Laurent had insisted he come along, diverting his attention from the map he was studying intently, as though it held answers it hadn’t yesterday.Maybe he was learning to take breaks and relax.Damen certainly wouldn’t be the one to stop him.

Jord and Nikandros were around a fire, eating some stew with Pallas and a few other men Damen recognized by face, but not by name.Laurent didn’t even consider the others and folded to the ground next to Nikandros, taking the bowl of stew from his unprepared hands and eating the rest.

Pallas and the others had gone completely still, unsure how to handle the kings sitting around their campfire.The stillness rapidly turned to shock when Nikandros turned to glare at Laurent and say, “You bastard.Give that back.”

“Clearly Damen didn’t deliver the message.You can’t address me like that in public, Nikandros.Be very careful.”

Nikandros scowled magnificently.“Fine.Enjoy the goddamn stew.”He stood and went to get himself a new bowl.Jord watched him walk away, amused.The scene clearly finished, Damen sat down beside Laurent, one arm dangling over a raised knee.

“Can I get you some stew, Exalted?” Pallas asked.

“I…” he stared at Pallas and realized this was an act that would make him feel more comfortable.“Thank you, Pallas.”

Nodding, Pallas stood, leaving his comrades to stare after him with jealousy, and Damen actively tried not to look menacing.Only Laurent seemed to be at ease.He spooned out some stew and offered it to Damen.Slowly, Damen leaned in and accepted it, swallowing quickly.He found it was much easier to look into Laurent’s eyes than the faces of those surrounding them.

Nikandros returned, making Jord comfortable, and thankfully, he managed to bridge the distance between the people on either sides of the fire.He asked questions about the others’ days, their family and backgrounds, and Damen and Laurent simply listened.Pallas brought Damen back some stew and that helped Damen feel like he had something to do.Soon, all were at ease and all began participating in the conversation, Laurent sharing a brief but sweet story about Auguste.It even managed to make Nikandros smile and stare at Laurent fondly.It was amusing to see.It wasn’t often that Damen could tell that they actually liked each other.

Slowly, the others began to file to bed, exhausted from the strangeness of their evening, but Nikandros and Jord remained behind.

“It feels a little strange without Jokaste,” Jord said, breaking the contented silence.

Damen nodded.Laurent and Nikandros didn’t comment.Damen stared at them and Nikandros rolled his eyes.“What?” he said, “I don’t miss her.”

“No.Why would you?” Damen sighed.

“So, you saw Kashel,” Nikandros said, abruptly shifting the conversation.

“Yes.She and the baby are healthy.”

Jord smiled.“Fatherhood, Damen.Are you ready?”

“I hope so.I have had some practice.”

Jord glanced at Laurent, clearly asking the same question.Laurent, who had been staring at the weaving and bobbing flames contemplatively, said, “I’m ready for whatever he’s ready for.”It wasn’t an answer and everyone knew it.Jord turned his attention away from Laurent, sighing. 

It was silent again and Damen took the opportunity to lean his head atop Laurent’s and watch the fire with him.Laurent slipped his hand over Damen’s thigh and turned his head slightly, so his breath was on Damen’s cheek.Then, softly, so softly that Damen knew no one else could hear, “Want me to pull Jord away so you can talk to Nikandros?”

Damen smiled despite himself, “Are you being thoughtful again?”

“Who, me?”

“I love you,” Damen murmured.

Nikandros threw his spoon at the top of Damen’s head.It hit it’s mark and Damen could hear the quiet snickering emanating from both he and Jord.“We’re still here,” Nikandros said.“I’m sure we can come up with a more interesting topic to please you royal types.”

“No need,” Laurent declared, standing.“I need Jord to give me a report of the going-ons in camp and I would prefer it not to be in public where the soldiers might overhear us.Come, Jord.”Laurent walked away, not looking back, knowing Jord would follow.And he did, but not before he ruffled Nikandros’ hair and playfully kissed the back of his hand in goodbye.

“Almost a good excuse,” Nikandros said, sidling closer to Damen.“What did you want to talk about?”

“You think you’re clever, don’t you?”

“Am I wrong?”

Damen smiled wryly.“No.”Then, “Well, I talked to Laurent about what you said last night and he thought that…”

“You mean…” Nikandros paled.“Goddamn it, Damen.”Then he shook his head, chuckling lightly to himself.“Never mind.I should’ve known you’d tell him.You asked him how Jord would take the confession, didn’t you?”Before Damen could even say a word, Nikandros nodded, “Of course you did.I wish you wouldn’t, Damen.It’s the sort of thing he can use to prod and poke me with.”

“Like you mind.”

Sighing, Nikandros said, “You’re right.I don’t.But, I like being able to poke and prod back.And now, I don’t have a weapon equal to his.”

“I think you do,” Damen smiled in an attempt to reconcile the small breach of trust.

“I do?”

“It was all around the camp this morning.”

“Ah, you mean the loud, raucous sex.Apparently, word of your sexual prowess has increased to almost god-like heights.”Damen flushed profusely.Nikandros paused in his conversation to laugh and then he said, more thoughtfully, “Yes, that might just work.”Then, even softer, a light flush spreading across his cheeks, “So, what did Laurent think?”

“He thinks the same as I do.You should tell him.It will go fine.”

“He could be lying.”

“He’s not.”

Nikandros swallowed hard and nodded.“Somehow, I knew that.” 

Damen nudged Nikandros with his elbow and then waited in silence as Nikandros thought the words through.It didn’t take long before he slapped his hands down on his knees, downed the cup full of raspy wine he had in his hand, and said, “Would you…”

“Of course.I’m proud of you, Nikandros.”

Nikandros waved him off and Damen walked away, taking a moment to look back at his friend, who was staring into the fire and tapping his foot furiously on the ground so that his whole body was shaking.Damen tried not to laugh.It would be in his best interest to relax a bit before Jord arrived.

Damen figured they would be in his and Laurent’s tent and when he entered, they were.He was unsurprised to see them actually bent over piles of parchment, pointing and chatting quietly.It wasn’t like Laurent to not take advantage of an opportunity, whether it had been expected or not.Jord looked up when Damen entered and smiled, before returning his attention to Laurent, who managed to keep talking, but also look at Damen and have a silent conversation.Subtly, Laurent nodded at the expression in Damen’s eyes.

Laurent let Jord finish his point and then said, “Thank you, Jord.I think that’s enough for tonight.I’ve a husband to take care of.”

“As if I need you to,” Damen said.

Laurent smiled, eyes flashing, and Jord bowed out of the tent.

 

Nikandros couldn’t stop his leg from jiggling.Or his hands from shaking, for that matter.He knew that Jord was going to return at any moment and he’d have to make everything stop, before Jord saw straight through him.He was much too good at that.

At least the fire was warm.And Damen’s words gave him enough control to breathe and swallow.Damen wouldn’t lie to him.Ever.This was going to be okay.It wasn’t like he hadn’t said the words before—though then, he hadn’t been sure he’d meant them, they’d just felt like the thing to say.This time, he knew.He didn’t know how, or why it happened so quickly, but he knew.He loved Jord.Everything about him.The way Jord loved to kiss the corners of his mouth in the morning, the way he smiled, as though he knew it was beautiful but didn’t care if anyone else did.Nikandros loved his careful consideration, his wry humor that could only be understood once you knew him, the way he laughed whenever Nikandros caught him around the waist and kissed him on the cheek.Nikandros also loved the parts that he tried to hide.The ache in his chest when he thought of Aimeric, the way his hair fell in his face when he was thinking seriously about something, the crinkle he got in his forehead when he was upset.Nikandros gathered all of that and replayed it in his mind until his leg stopped bouncing up and down and his hands stopped shaking.

There was an audible sigh beside him and then Jord settled down, their thighs touching.He didn’t say anything but gazed into the fire.“What did Damen say?” he asked.

“You figured it out, too, huh?”

“They were far from subtle.”

“I don’t know.Laurent almost pulled it off.”

“Damen did not,” Jord chuckled.

“No,” Nikandros laughed shakily, tugging on the hairs at the nape of his neck.Jord noticed.Of course he did.Nikandros told himself to relax.This was a normal conversation that he could carry normally and then, miraculously, there would be a moment and he would say what he wanted to say.There was no stopping it now.

Jord poked him in the side.“You didn’t answer my question, you know.”

“I know,” Nikandros said, softly, wishing he’d come up with something more clever, something funny.That’s what he would normally do.Jord would definitely be able to tell something was wrong now.

“Are you alright, Nik?”

Nikandros almost laughed, having predicted it so accurately.“I’m fine.Just like always.”

“You are not always fine.”

“But I’ve never told you any differently.”

Jord stared back into the fire, contemplating that, trying to think of a time Nikandros had ever said anything different.Nikandros couldn’t help smiling.This constant and careful attention.It was beautiful.Nobody had ever cared so much or thought so much about what he said.Except Damen, of course.But Damen was different, too.He didn’t think so much as react.But he did always listen.Jord considered.Finally, “I do believe you’re right.You’re lucky I can tell the difference or I’d never know when to kiss you senseless.”

“That’s alright with me anytime.Doesn’t matter when.”

Jord smiled.“I bet it is.”

Nikandros couldn’t think of anything to say, which only increased his anxiety.He could always think of something to say.Jord turned to him and laid a hand on his cheek.His dark gray eyes bored into Nikandros’ and he whispered, “You sure?”

Nikandros forced himself to hold Jord’s gaze.There was no reason to make the situation even worse.“Yes.I’m fine.”

“Let’s go to bed, then.You’re not particularly verbose this evening.”

“Is that all I’m good for?”

“You know it is.”Deadpan.But, his eyes were glittering and Nikandros knew it was a joke.This is why you had to know him.And maybe he didn’t laugh, but it made him ridiculously pleased and warm whenever he understood the nuance.Not everyone did.That was the magic of his sense of humor. 

He was going to have to tell Jord and quickly.This was getting out of hand.It was becoming an emotion he couldn’t contain.

Jord stood, pulling him up, and they walked, fingers loosely intertwined, to their tent.It was small, but cozy and Jord pulled off his pants the minute they were inside, unlaced his shirt and crawled into bed.Nikandros followed suit and watched happily as Jord punched his pillow into a more agreeable shape.

“Don’t get too comfortable,” Nikandros said.“It’s your turn to blow out the candles.”

Jord groaned and fell into the pillow, pulling the blankets up to his chin.“How about you stay awake all night so I don’t have to.”

“I’d fall off my horse tomorrow.”

“And I’d laugh.”

Nikandros smiled, slumping down into his own pillow.He watched Jord until Jord’s eyes met his, his hands reaching and pulling Nikandros towards him, their bodies flush underneath the covers.Slowly, he kissed Nikandros, fingers digging into the nape of his neck.Nikandros returned the kiss and wasn’t surprised when Jord pulled away after only a couple of lazy kisses.After a long day of riding, he was always tired and he preferred to simply stare at Nikandros and occasionally play with one of his curls.Once, Nikandros would have found this strange, did, in fact, but he found himself enjoying this moment.It was so quiet.Very different from the way he usually lived his life.

“Your eyes are all over the place, Nik.If you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I’ll start to worry.”

“You know I hate it when you do that.” 

“I do.”

Nikandros sighed and ran a gentle finger down Jord’s face.“I’m making myself panic, which is stupid, because I’m me, and I don’t ever get like this.You alright?”

“That was not reassuring and yes, I’m alright.Care to explain why you’re panicking?”A pause, “Abnormally?”Jord smile beatifically then and Nikandros felt everything inside him settle.This moment wasn’t going to last long and Nikandros wasn’t one to wait for the next opportunity. 

Oh, why not?A brief pause, and then loudly, confidently, “I think I’m in love with you.No, wait, that wasn’t quite right.I’m definitely in love with you.”

Jord’s eyes went wide and he kept staring.Nikandros’ heart was beating incredibly fast, but that only calmed his racing thoughts.His body’s reaction was one he knew and could deal with.There had even been a time in his life where he would’ve been searching for this exact feeling, the rush of adrenaline. 

There was still no response from Jord.Nikandros wasn’t even sure he’d blinked since.It didn’t worry him.Not much, anyway.It wasn’t like he’d expected the sentiment to be returned.He’d only wanted Jord to know.Maybe he should tell Jord that.“You don’t have to say anything.I only thought you should know.I realize it hasn’t been long since we met, but…but this feels right to me in a way nothing else has,” Jord’s eyes only widened further, “And I’m probably talking too much now,” Nikandros finished.Then, “At least give me a kiss goodnight.I’ll even get the candles so you can properly handle the shock or whatever it is you’re handling.”

“How kind of you,” Jord stammered.

“That’s me,” Nikandros said, effortlessly.Or, at least, he hoped it sounded effortless.It was less effortless than he would’ve liked.Swiftly, he blew out the candles, cupping his hand around the delicate flames before he did so, and returned to bed, stepping over Jord to his side.By now, Jord knew to watch out for his feet.More than a couple body parts had been bruised in that learning curve.

Lying down, Nikandros faced Jord.They couldn’t see each other in the darkness, barely illuminated by moonlight, but he was aware of Jord’s eyes on his shadow.Then there was a hand wandering the sheets until it found it’s way to Nikandros’ body, resting against his forearm.“I…” Jord said and then he was silent again.Apparently, he hadn’t quite gathered the words he’d wanted to say.

“Don’t worry about it, Jord.”Now it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself.Nikandros had promised himself he wasn’t going to do this, but now that his worst fear—alright not his worst, but still a fear—was being realized, he couldn’t stop himself.He rolled, turning his back to Jord and curling an arm underneath his pillow, hugging it against his face.Jord’s hand slipped from his arm and against the sheets.

Jord murmured his name and inched across the bed towards him.Nikandros felt himself flinch when a hand was laid across his waist and he cringed internally.Nothing about Jord made him want to flinch.This was ridiculous.He needed to stop being a hurt puppy before this became something bigger than it was.

Surprisingly, Jord didn’t retract his hand and he rolled Nikandros over, their faces almost touching.Slowly, Jord leaned in and kissed Nikandros chastely on the lips.“I’m sorry,” he murmured.“I didn’t mean to scare you, I was just thinking.I do that sometimes, you know.”

Laughing shortly, Nikandros nodded, knowing Jord would feel it.

“To be honest, I’m not sure what love feels like.I thought I loved Aimeric, but when I met you, it completely paled in comparison.The reason I went silent like that is because nobody besides Aimeric has said those words to me and, well, you know what happened there.But, you, I know that won’t happen with you.Nothing even remotely close to that will happen with you.You, Nikandros, are the best person I know and I know some pretty incredible people.I don’t know if I love you, and once I do, I promise I will tell you every day for the rest of my life, but I’m honored to be the recipient of your love.More than honored.Pleased.Insanely so.I don’t think I’ve ever been quite this happy.”

“You are way too aware of your feelings,” Nikandros sighed mockingly.

“It’s good one of us is.”

“I don’t do terrible.”

“No.You are the paragon of emotional health,” Jord said.

Nikandros laughed and kissed whatever he could reach.Jord slapped him and said, “You just kissed my eye, you bastard.”

“No wonder it felt strange.”

“Did you even stop to think about why?”

“Not at all,” Nikandros said.“Can I say it again?”

He could feel Jord smiling.Nikandros didn’t bother wondering how that could be true, he only knew it was.“Please.As far as I’m concerned, it can be the only thing you say to me.”

“But what about my banter?”

“I could live without it.”

“What about everything I say while we’re having sex.”

“I could definitely live without that.It drives me absolutely insane.”

“I know,” Nikandros smiled.“That’s why I like it so much.You start blushing and you get all flustered.Every time.It’s cute.”

“And that’s why I hate it,” Jord said.“I’m not cute.”

“You are cute.”

“Shut up.”

“I love you, Jord.I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“Now you’ve made it meaningless.”

“Did I?”

There was a short silence.“No,” he admitted, softly.

“You’re blushing now, aren’t you?”

“No,” a little louder this time.Nikandros laughed and pulled Jord flush against his chest, holding him tightly.

“I love you.”The words were perfect.They flowed from his tongue like he’d been born to say them.They sent a small shiver down his spine and, somehow, Nikandros knew he would never tire of them.Especially once Jord started saying them back.And that was going to happen.Nikandros was determined.

“Goodnight, Nik.”

“Goodnight, love.”

“Don’t make it meaningless.”

“Never.”

“Stop talking.”

“You stop talking.”

“Oh for…”Jord slipped from his arms and rolled to his side of the bed.It didn’t disturb Nikandros.They rarely touched while they slept.It made Nikandros hot and it made Jord get sub-par sleep.Nikandros heard Jord shift for a while, trying to get comfortable and then his breathing slowed.Smiling into the darkness, Nikandros stayed awake longer than he intended, longer than he should’ve.

 

Damen woke before Laurent in the morning.The sun was filtering through the tent and Damen kissed his shoulder, before standing.It was likely, judging by the angles of the rays, that most of the camp was already up, having breakfast.Damen thought he would join them.Besides, he wanted to see Nikandros, to hear how it had gone last night.There was a small tinge of worry that it had gone badly and Nikandros was going to spend the next couple of days angry at him.

The worry was not dispelled when he joined Jord and Nikandros, who were sitting together and eating, but in complete silence.Jord was smiling, though.But Nikandros had the largest circles under his eyes.He grunted in acknowledgment of Damen’s presence.

“Good morning, Damen,” Jord said.

“What’s with him?”

“Nik didn’t get much sleep last night,” Jord smiled.“I think he’s grumpy.”

Nikandros glared at Jord, then thought better of it, and ran a thumb carefully across Jord’s cheekbone, before returning to his breakfast.Damen let out a whoosh of breath.It had gone well.Unless Nikandros hadn’t told him.That was a possibility.It would explain the lack of sleep.Shaking his head, Damen bent over his own breakfast, which had been fetched for him.There was no point in dwelling.Eventually, Nikandros would tell him the details.

Halfway through his breakfast, Laurent sat next to him, already impeccably dressed.He pecked Damen on the cheek and murmured into his ear, “Am I seeing this right?Are you out of bed before I am?”

“Clearly, I’ve got our bed strapped to my back.”

Laurent cracked a smile.“You know, I think that’s something you could actually do.It’s always good to know if one of the pack horses dies, I can just replace them with you.”

“I’m not sure I like it when you actually get sleep.I might prefer you sleep-deprived.”

Laurent laughed and turned to Jord and Nikandros.“Good morning.”

“Morning,” Jord replied pleasantly.Again, Nikandros grumbled.

“What do you think?” Damen murmured.

“He definitely told Jord and it went just fine.”

“How do you know?”

“Look at Jord.”

Damen did and noticed Jord was still smiling.In fact, he couldn’t seem to stop.He was smiling at his breakfast, he was smiling fondly at Nikandros, he was smiling at the trees in the distance.Laurent wasn’t wrong.It wasn’t that Jord didn’t smile, but he didn’t smile this consistently.

While Damen was observing, Laurent stood and shouted, “Prepare to move out.”His voice carried and everyone snapped to attention, dropping their breakfasts, although most had finished, and set to work packing up the tents and loading the barrels of wine from last night and checking the weapons.

Laurent sat back down and said, “We’re riding through a long string of possible ambush sites today.I need all three of you to keep a watchful eye out.I think it’s likely at least one of them will be utilized.The ride has already been too quiet.”

All three nodded, exchanging wary glances.Sitting for hours and hours on a horse was already difficult.Maintaining a high awareness of surroundings only made it more tiring, but Damen knew all three of them wouldn’t let their guard down for a moment.They’d been trained most of their lives for this exactly.

Laurent said, quieter, for Damen alone, “And that means no conversations with Nikandros about his love life.”

“I know,” Damen said.“I’m sure I can wait.”

“For your sake, I hope so.If you’re not careful, we could all die.”

Damen rolled his eyes.“We both know you’re going to be watching, too.Besides, I’m hard to kill and they’ll have to get through me to get to you.”

“Why isn’t it the other way around?” Laurent said.

“I suppose we could always fight side by side.”

Laurent smiled.“Much better.” 

It wasn’t long before everything was loaded and they were moving once more.Laurent and Damen rode side by side in the front with Nikandros, Jord, and Pallas directly behind them.Now that they were close to fighting an actual battle, Damen found himself missing Makedon.His men were excellent fighters and the man had spirit, that much couldn’t be doubted.Damen reminded himself that he was going to meet them at Marlas.For the final battles, he would be there.

They rode through the first two ambush sites without incident, Damen taking a relieved breath after each one.Instead, he could feel Laurent getting more tense beside him.If an ambush didn’t happen today, he knew it would scare Laurent more than if one did.

When they reached the third possible ambush site, a grassy, flat field littered with massive rocks, Damen kept his eyes peeled.Behind him, he could hear Nikandros whispering something to Jord, but it was carried away by the sound of horses hooves and the blustering wind.Pieces of hair kept flying into his eyes and Damen grimaced.It was going to be difficult to be vigilant if he couldn’t see.Laurent’s hair was pulled back into a stubby braid, thankfully.

“Do you have any extra hair ties?” Damen said to him.

“You’re distracting me.”

“Laurent, I just need you to give me a…”

“Yes.Take one from my hair.”

Damen reached over and untied the thin piece of leather that kept the braid in place.Carefully, Damen shook out the braid, because he could, and watched as the blonde strands whipped in the wind.Then, he gathered what hair he could and tied it back as best he could.His hair wasn’t nearly as long as Laurent’s and a large chunk of his hair simply couldn’t be restrained, but he thought it was helping slightly. 

Laurent snuck a glance at him and laughed lightly.“I didn’t think it would work.”

“Shut up.You’re distracting me,” Damen replied.

Turning in his saddle, Damen glanced behind him.They were almost completely through the site.Damen knew this was the moment he would choose to attack.Come up behind the troop and work their way up.Hope for a delayed reaction from the fighters up front, who were most likely strongest, given their position to the king.

An outrider, who Laurent had kept closely reigned to the troop—knowing if he branched out too far they would be quietly killed and left for dead—shouted something and then an arrow was protruding from his neck and he fell to the ground, his shout cut off.

Wheeling around, Damen shouted, “They’ve got arrows.Storm and flank the rocks, both sides.”Easily, half the army broke off from the other and rode to one side of the road, as their comrades branched to the other side.Damen and Laurent broke off to the left and asked Jord and Nikandros to break off to the right.

Suddenly, there was shouting and screaming and arrows were flying everywhere.Damen lifted his arm in front of his face, knowing he’d rather get hit there, and glanced at Laurent, his eyes begging him to do the same.Laurent did.

“Ride harder,” Damen shouted, “Before they nock more.” 

The first set of rocks were unpopulated, which wasn’t a surprise, and then Damen began to see them, cowering behind rocks, swords in hands, waiting for the proper moment.Once they saw Damen and Laurent, they burst out everywhere and began fighting, hacking at whatever they could reach.Horses were falling, some men were already on the ground, fighting.Damen and Laurent were riding together seamlessly, slashing downwards at whoever crossed their path.They didn’t have any issues.Nobody could touch either of them.Laurent was excellent at controlling his horse and moving it out of tough positions and using it to maneuver Damen’s horse out of some tough ones as well.They were well attuned to each other and Damen was smiling.It felt strange to do so while killing people, but having Laurent by his side, bright and intelligent, was something he had missed desperately.

It was over before Damen even found his rhythm.Judging by the faces of those around him, however, it had lasted longer than he’d thought.Most were sweating and more than a couple had gashes littering their body.Turning, Damen glanced to the other side of the road, where it seemed to be over as well, although he did spot Nikandros leaping off his horse and finishing someone off with a sword to the neck, blood flecking his armor as he ripped it out.

There were a number of dead, but nothing drastic.Nothing to worry about.Damen slid from his horse and ordered men to gather the bodies and burn them.He then searched the field, looking for any who needed medical assistance or someone to hold them as they died. 

When that had been done, he searched for Laurent, who was kneeling down on the ground behind one of the rocks.He was holding the hand of a young boy, barely older than fifteen.Damen’s stomach turned and he could only stop and watch as Laurent murmured words to him, holding his hand and smoothing the hair back from his face.Damen would never have someone that young in his army.It had to be one of the ambushers.The urge to kill Guion in the slowest way possible only grew.

The boy died.Laurent held his hand a little longer and then slowly released it with a sigh.That was when he saw Damen and he walked over, not even taking a beat to wrap his arms around Damen’s waist and relax into a hug.

“Why do men like him, like my uncle, use young boys?”

“I don’t know,” Damen murmured, holding Laurent closer.He really didn’t.It was a thought that would never cross his mind.He hadn’t really even believed it possible before he’d come to Vere.Not that it wasn’t something that didn’t extend into his own country.He knew better now.

Laurent pulled away and quickly gathered himself.He began ordering men around, getting people back on their horses, transferring packs to wagons so everyone would still be able to ride, and getting them back into line.Damen, in the meantime, went to the other side of the road and did what he could there. 

He found Nikandros standing alone, barely breathing and staring off into space.Damen laid a hand on his shoulder and he flinched, swiveling quickly, dagger in hand.Abruptly, Damen stepped away and raised his hands in the air.“Nikandros, it’s me.Are you okay?”

Damen hadn’t seen Nikandros like this since they were much younger.It was hard to believe this ambush had, in any way, scarred him.It was relatively routine and, yet, his eyes were wild and he was gasping for air.Eventually, he calmed himself down enough to say, “I can’t fucking find Jord.We were separated somewhere, right when the battle started, and I can’t find him.I’ve searched everywhere.”

Damen’s heart started racing, but he managed to calm his thoughts with a deep breath.It wouldn’t help Nikandros if he were panicking as well.“I’m sure you haven’t searched everywhere.There’s a lot of ground to cover.Do you want help?”

Nikandros nodded.Damen reached down and grasped Nikandros’ hand in his.“He’s here, Nikandros.He didn’t just disappear and we will find him.Alright?”

“Okay,” he murmured.“He hasn’t even told me he loves me yet.”

Damen turned his laugh into a cough.The comment was so Nikandros.Dramatic, almost joking, even though he was terrified.Nikandros glanced up at him miserably and then cracked a tiny smile.“And I won’t let him die until he does.”


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the longer wait guys...for some reason, I was struggling with this chapter. Like a lot. I hope it doesn't come through too much.  
> Thanks to my beautiful beta reader, @vereandakielos. Also, I should thank my roommate @coffeewithcaptainswan who did wonderful, wonderful things last week.  
> As always, I love you all sooo much <3 Next chapter should come quicker.

Perhaps, it would’ve been more practical to split up the search—they would cover more ground that way—but Damen was unwilling to leave Nikandros, who, every time he saw a body that reminded him of Jord in any way, would struggle to breathe.The blood and the twisted limbs tended to make all the bodies look the same.Together, they picked through the corpses, they sky clouding over and painting the scene before them in muted colors. 

The field was a torn up mess.Hopelessness settled on Damen’s shoulders.Finding Jord in this mess was easier said than done.

Damen nudged his foot against the shoulder of a body, rolling him over, and thought that the act of searching through the dead should disturb him more than it did.When did he ever get so used to this type of violence?Endless slaughter for a grander purpose, one that most of these people, his people, had not fully understood.Violence had always seemed unavoidable in his life, but as he looked at the empty eyes of a soldier, shoddy armor torn to pieces, Damen realized he was looking forward to the day he’d never have to fight these battles again.He crouched and gently closed the lids of the man, hiding the emptiness, the stark reminder of mortality.There had been too many of those reminders of late.

As he rose, violence crept back into his mind.Swordfighting, war, was easy for Damen.His father had even told him that once.That Damen was a born talent.Damen couldn’t help wondering if he could even count it as a talent.Although, he supposed, the word talent did not inherently mean a skill that was good or useful; only one that he excelled at.

Glancing back behind him, Damen spotted Laurent, who was still on the other side of the road, dealing with the aftermath there, ensuring all the little details were seen to, one of his talents.A much more useful one.Damen wanted to keep looking, to wait until Laurent noticed and returned his stare, giving him some comfort, but Nikandros’ arm brushed his and the needs of his greatest friend reentered Damen’s mind, demanding the attention it deserved. 

They were nearing the end of the destruction and Jord had not yet been found.Damen tried to stifle the anxiety that was crowding around his heart, making it beat faster.If Jord couldn’t be found…Damen didn’t want to imagine what would happen, but he knew that everything would change, especially Nikandros.

There was a soft gasp and then a croaked, “Jord,” and Nikandros was gone from his side.He was sprinting across the field, almost tripping over a horse and a sword wedged dangerously into the ground, to a body in the middle of a group of seven others.A body that was raised up on its elbows and distinctly moving, though not quickly or with clear purpose.Damen was relieved to see that Jord was alive, but it was hard to say that Jord was entirely out of danger.

It was even harder to say so the closer Damen got.Jord’s breathing was distinctly labored and he was having trouble sitting all the way up.Nikandros was quietly begging him to stop trying to stand and when Jord didn’t, Nikandros forcibly grabbed his head between both hands and wrenched it down onto his lap.Another few words were mumbled and then Nikandros pecked him on the lips.After that, Jord remained still, clutching his side with…

Damen stopped walking.Nikandros glanced back at him, silent tears streaming down his face.Quickly, Jord grabbed his attention with a couple of words.Damen managed to catch them.“I’m going to be okay.It is unfortunate, but nothing I can’t handle.Nik…goddammit…stop crying.”Even for Damen, it was hard to believe Jord.The words had left his mouth were completely strangled by exhaustion and despair.

Jord was clutching his side with a bloody stump; what had once been his left hand.

 

With a frantic glance from Nikandros, Damen was running, searching for the tell-tale robes and bags of a physician.The first one he saw he ordered to go and tend Jord.Despite the physician’s obvious exhaustion, he picked up his packs and jogged to where Damen had pointed, as though he were eager to continue his tireless work.Even if most were minor scratches, there were a lot of them.

Damen stood and watched, until the physician had reached the pair and Nikandros had stepped back, his hands falling uselessly at his sides.The absolute horror emanating from him was obvious, even from here.The physician knelt beside Jord and began to ask lots of questions, face business-like, hands already moving through his packs and over Jord’s body.

A cold hand slipped into his and Damen turned to see Laurent, face blank.“Jord?” he said.

Damen nodded slowly.“He…I think he got stabbed in the side and…” Damen took a deep breath, steadying his voice, “He lost his left hand.”

Laurent’s hand tightened it’s grip, but he stayed silent and his face remained still.“Well, at least it wasn’t his sword-fighting hand.I expect he wouldn’t be able to recover from that.”

Damen rubbed his forehead and sighed.“Please don’t say that to either of them.”

“Did I say it to them?”

Damen could think of nothing to say to that.The reaction might have irritated him if it hadn’t been Laurent, but there was some comfort in Laurent reacting exactly the way Damen had expected him to.Something in the world was happening the way it was supposed to. 

He ended up dragging Laurent with him back to Jord and Nikandros.When they arrived, the physician was wrapping a bandage around Jord’s forearm, blood weeping through in a few places.Succinctly, Jord was ordered to come and visit the physician every day and then the physician bowed to Damen and Laurent and departed.Jord was turning his arm back and forth, staring at the empty space where his hand had previously been.Nikandros was watching him, eyes wide. 

Laurent was the first to speak.“We need to keep moving.Nikandros, get Jord up and onto a horse.I don’t care how you do it, just do it.”

Without a pause, Nikandros stood and launched himself into Laurent’s space.Damen sprang forward, increasing the distance between them with hands on either chest and hard glares.In a terrifyingly low voice, Nikandros said, “He lost a hand.He’s in shock and I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do.You want me to get him up and on a horse?Give him a goddamn moment, would you?And if really insist on moving now, then you should get him up yourself.”There was clearly a challenged in those words.Nikandros didn’t believe Laurent was capable of forcing either he or Jord to do anything, which Damen knew was so wrong, it bordered on demented.

Laurent turned his head away, jaw clenched.“Must I keep reminding you that I cannot allow this behavior in public?”

“Laurent…” Damen whispered.

“Give me another option.”

Nikandros growled, “I’ll take as many lashes as you can hand out, Laurent, if you give him a moment.”

“I can’t.We need to keep moving.I cannot allow the men to spend more time here than necessary.It’s not good for morale and frankly, I’d prefer to get away from the stench of death and burning flesh.You know very well that I would not spare the time you are asking for anyone else here, including my husband.Get him up.”

Nikandros looked at Damen.Softly, “He’s right, Nikandros.”

The flash of hurt was not unexpected, but Damen flinched nonetheless.There was a brief second where Laurent looked apologetic, but then he shut the emotion away, and turned to the horses, shouting at the other men, rallying them and getting them into organized lines, every part of him still impeccable and regal.That was something Damen admired about Laurent, but judging by Nikandros’ expression, it was something he couldn’t stand.

Helplessly, Damen asked, “Can I…”

“Just go, Damen.We’ll be right behind you,” Nikandros sighed.

Damen left.

 

They were only riding to escape the smells and visions of the battlefield, not a particularly long distance, but it felt unbearably long.Laurent was silent beside him, mouth in a thin line, and Damen couldn’t bring himself to look at Nikandros or Jord.Jord, because he was oddly vacant, and Nikandros, because he was upset with Damen.He and Nikandros had fought when they were younger, but it had always been about little things, like who cheated when they played cards or who stole what from who’s plate.This was serious and Damen didn’t have any experience pointing him in the right direction.He could only hope that Nikandros would forgive him and soon, before Damen had the chance to miss him.

The wariness and worry wasn’t helped by the fact that they were all tired and sore and bleeding.The progression quickly digressed to a sluggish pace and when the sun began to set, Laurent audibly sighed and rubbed his eyes.Damen knew what that meant and ordered everyone to stop and set up camp.This time around, Damen made a conscious effort to help his men, knowing full well they could use all the help they could get.Besides, it distracted his mind and kept him firmly away from Nikandros and Jord. 

As Damen pitched tents and built campfires, all he could think about was his bed and holding Laurent in his arms.It was the only thing that might be able to make this unbearable day bearable.But he suspected that would even be made uncomfortable, as well.Laurent had been prickly all day and that was unlikely to change.A prickly Laurent was not a version of Laurent that Damen could calm with soft words and warm kisses.Only time alone could accomplish that.

Eventually, however, there was nothing else for Damen to do and so he ambled back to his tent, massaging a crick from his neck. 

To his surprise, Laurent wasn’t there.Damen collapsed on the bed, uninterested in searching, and closed his eyes.If he fell asleep and Laurent missed him, it would be his own damn fault.He couldn’t possibly expect Damen to stay up for him.Not tonight of all nights.

 

He hadn’t really meant to fall asleep and wasn’t aware he’d had, until Laurent was shaking his shoulder and whispering his name.A few candles were lit, but the tent was largely dark and the camp was silent.It was late.

Groggily, Damen blinked the sleepiness from his eyes, and found Laurent perched beside him, hands in his lap, eyes questioning.After he’d blinked a couple more times, he realized Laurent was nervous. 

Rising up on an elbow, Damen murmured, “Are you alright?”

“I wasn’t sure you’d want me to wake you.Is it alright that I did?”

“Of course it is.What do you need?”

A corner of Laurent’s mouth quirked up and he said, “What makes you think I need anything?Maybe I’m just abusing my power.”

“Well, if that’s the case, I’m going back to sleep.”But Damen didn’t.He didn’t even pretend to.After a day like today, he knew there was something more to this conversation, however unwilling Laurent seemed to be about revealing it.And because his eyes were saying: _I just needed you._

Laurent asked, “Are you alright?”

“No,” Damen sighed.“Jord lost a hand, Nikandros is angry with me, I have no idea what is going on inside your head, and I’m exhausted.”

“That’s exactly how I feel,” Laurent sighed.Damen reached over to lay a hand on Laurent’s knee, implore him for some physical contact, but Laurent shook his head minutely and Damen quickly withdrew his attempt.

Slumping back onto his pillow, Damen said, “What are you going to do to Nikandros?”

“He’s a high-ranking officer.I’m not going to flog him, if that’s what you’re worried about.I’ll have him help the physician with work for the day and that will be that.”

“That won’t prevent future incidents.”

“Will anything?”

“Probably not,” Damen sighed.

In the silence that followed, Laurent traced the veins in Damen’s hand with a finger.When he’d traced more veins than Damen was even aware he had, Laurent said, “I’m going to flay Guion alive.I’ll start with his left hand.Maybe I’ll string it and hang it around his neck while I continue.”

Damen made a noncommittal sound.

“Don’t tell me you don’t think he deserves it.”

“He does.”

“But?” 

Damen met Laurent’s eyes, which were as hard as his voice, and whispered, “I don’t want to watch people die anymore.I’m not sure where that leaves me, since all I’m good at it is fighting and battle tactics, but, I was on that field today watching my people die because I ran a sword through their gut, and I wanted it all to stop.None of these battles have felt like a victory.Not to me or our men.”

“I assure you, flaying Guion will feel excellent,” Laurent said.

“If you say so.”

Laurent inhaled sharply and laid down beside Damen, curling his feet underneath Damen’s calves.Even though his feet were freezing as always, the contact calmed the storm in Damen’s mind and he knew, despite everything, he would be able to sleep tonight. 

“Damen,” Laurent began, tone slightly reprimanding, “I don’t have the leverage to stop war from happening like my uncle did.It’s inevitable.I understand that it is hard to fight against your own people, I’ve been doing it most of my life, but I need you to remember what we’re fighting for, because that is the only thing that’s going to make it bearable.”He laid a hand over Damen’s heart and whispered, “This.It’s selfish and it might not be worth Jord’s hand, but everyone out there is aware what they are risking and what they are fighting for and I know, I know, that you hate taking advantage of it, but I don’t.You are everything I have and I will sacrifice anything to keep you.If you need someone to take the blame, I will.”

“I don’t want you to take the blame,” Damen murmured, “I think you already take the blame for too many things, few of which are actually your fault.”There was a very long pause, Laurent tense beside him, before Damen continued.“How long before we live in Marlas, the capital of Verlos, and we’re no longer fighting?”

“Not much longer.I promise.”

The weight in Damen’s chest lifted when he heard those words.He knew what they meant to Laurent, just how far he would go to keep that promise.It was possibly the only thing that could’ve eased the tension.“Alright,” Damen said, pulling Laurent closer.Thankfully, Laurent let him.

As the night progressed and Damen was telling Laurent the story of his first time with a woman in detail, Laurent laughing soundlessly into his shoulder the entire time, Damen thought, perhaps, they were going to sleep tonight.That was, until the flaps of their tent rustled and Nikandros said, “Your guards said you were awake.Can I come in?”

“Yes,” Damen said, before Laurent could respond.Nikandros entered, his eyes sunken, his hair tussled, and plopped on the edge of their bed, letting his head fall into his hands.Laurent stared at him bemusedly, earning a soft kick from Damen.

Through the barrier of his hands, Nikandros mumbled, “He won’t sleep, he won’t talk, he won’t eat.I can’t even get him to really look at me.I don’t think he minds having me there and I want to be there, but first I wanted to know if either of you could think of anything I could do.Anything that will get both of us some sleep tonight, or at least, anything that will make him eat a spoonful of stew.His body needs to heal and he won’t let it.”

Laurent sighed, “Have the physician give him something.”

“No.That’s not what he wants.”

“Do you want sleep or not?I know I do.”

“Laurent…” Damen whispered.Then he turned to Nikandros, “He’s likely still in shock.I’m not sure there’s a whole lot that can be done.But, I’ll give you whatever you need.What would you like us to try?”Damen gestured to himself and Laurent.Laurent slapped his hand from the air and grumbled something about sleeping.

“Can you…can you come sit with us?You don’t have to say or do anything, but I want him to know he’s not alone and that he can talk when he wants to.”

“Of course we will.”

Laurent didn’t say anything, but burrowed deeper into the sheets.Damen rolled his eyes and said to Nikandros, “We’ll be right there.”Nikandros nodded forlornly and left the tent.Laurent didn’t lift his head and so Damen went to him, lips against Laurent’s ear.

“This is what friends do,” he whispered.

“It’s more likely he needs to be alone to think,” Laurent said.“My presence is not going to help.”

“That’s what you would need,” Damen corrected.“But you and Jord are not the same.Besides, that doesn’t matter.Nikandros thinks it will help.That’s what really matters.Please come, Laurent.”

“Are you going to make me?”

“Of course not.”

Laurent didn’t appear to be moving, so Damen stood and told him he’d be welcome if he changed his mind.Then he went to Jord and Nikandros’ tent and entered.Nikandros hadn’t exaggerated.Jord was sitting, legs crossed, and staring at the opposite side of the tent blankly.Nikandros was next to him on the bed, but not touching him.Instead, he was just staring at the one hand Jord had, which was clutching the sheets of the bed fiercely.It was the only sign that he had any fight left in him.

When Nikandros saw Damen, he scrambled from the bed and said, “Where’s Laurent?”

“He’ll be here in a bit.”

“Really?”

“I don’t know.”

Nikandros nodded and sat back down, gesturing for Damen to sit beside him.Damen did and they both watched Jord silently.The longer they sat, the more futile it felt, but Damen wasn’t going to leave.He wasn’t here for Jord anyway, not really.Jord wasn’t the one who had asked him here, after all.

One of the candles sputtered out and without being asked, Damen rose to replace the used candle with a new one, lighting it.Then he settled back in to wait.For what, he didn’t know.This was an approach that definitely wasn’t working and the later it got, the more his eyes itched and his mind fogged, the more it irritated Damen.

Right when he was about to ask Nikandros if there was something else they could try, Laurent entered.He took a moment to appraise the situation and then said, “I’d like to talk to him alone.Leave.”

Damen shrugged and stood.Nikandros was less willing.“You’re just going to…insult him or something until you get a rise out of him.I don’t want your help.”

“I’m not asking.”

“Come on, Nikandros,” Damen said.“If Laurent didn’t think he could help, he wouldn’t even try.Give him a chance.”

Nikandros stood and approached Laurent, until he was only a foot away.Laurent looked as though he wanted to step back, but he didn’t.“I’m trusting you,” Nikandros said, “Don’t make me regret it.”

“I won’t,” Laurent replied, softly. 

Damen grabbed Nikandros by the wrist and dragged him out of the tent.They ended up back at Damen and Laurent’s tent for lack of a better place to go.They both settled at the end of the bed and didn’t say a word.The silence wasn’t awkward or strange, but it was exhausted.Eventually, Nikandros closed his eyes and leaned against Damen, his head falling onto his shoulder.Damen was happy to be a support—it was something he could easily do.

“Finished being mad at me?” Damen said, in an attempt to keep Nikandros awake.

“When I actually took the time to think about it, I realized you and Laurent were right, so, yes.Trust me, it was an irritating realization.Being angry was easier.This, whatever this is, is a lot harder.”Then, “What do you think Laurent is saying to him?”

“I honestly have no idea.”

“Aren’t you supposed to know him better than anyone?”

Damen laughed.“I do.And more than anything, I know he’s unpredictable.He’ll take whatever tactic he thinks is likely to work best, even if it involves him getting down on his knees and declaring eternal servitude to Jord.”

“He would never do that.”

“I think he would.Fortunately for him, that is not what’s going to help.”

“So is this his way of showing that he cares?” Nikandros asked.

Damen nodded.“This is the only way he can.”

“He’s never told you he loves you?”

“No, he has, but it’s hard for him.Sometimes, I even wish he wouldn’t say it, because it looks like it causes him physical pain.It has gotten easier, but I don’t think it will ever be something that’s easy for him.He’s lost too much.”

Nikandros gazed around the tent and then started laughing.At first, softly, but then much louder and he couldn’t seem to stop.Damen didn’t join in.The laughter concerned him.“What is it?” he asked.

“How did we end up here of all places, Damen?

“Would you want to be somewhere different?”

“No.”

Laurent entered before Damen could reply and said to Nikandros, “He wants to see you.Don’t come back.We will be sleeping.If you do, I will personally remove your left hand so you can match your lover.”

Nikandros rose from the bed and laid a hand on Laurent’s shoulder.Damen cringed, knowing this was not the best time, but somehow, Laurent weathered it.“Thank you, Laurent,” Nikandros whispered.“I’d like to…to give you a hug, but I think, perhaps…”

Laurent watched him struggle with raised brows and Nikandros simply nodded, rushing from the tent. 

Laurent didn’t say a word as he removed his pants and crawled back into bed, facing away from Damen.

“What did you say to him?” Damen asked.

“I would like to sleep.Either come to bed and shut up or go outside and wait for dawn.I don’t care which, but pick.Now.”

Damen slipped underneath the sheets and carefully laid a hand on Laurent’s waist.Laurent went still, but then he slid backwards and into Damen’s arms.Placing a kiss on Laurent’s cheek, Damen said, “Good night, love.”

“More like good morning,” Laurent grumbled.

Damen laughed and closed his eyes.

 

The next morning was chaotic, hurried, and they were all tired, too tired to conduct a conversation of any kind.Laurent managed to bark out orders, but then he slumped back against Damen’s chest and murmured, “You’re going to have to help me onto my horse.I’m not convinced I even have legs at this point.”

Which left Damen without a chance to ask what Laurent had said to Jord last night.He only saw Jord and Nikandros in passing, on their way to see one of the physicians.They both looked as tired as Laurent, but Jord was murmuring something in Nikandros’ ear.Clearly, whatever Laurent had said had accomplished something.

They rode most of the day and when camp was finally set up, Damen fetched food for himself and Laurent.They’d barely finished their meals before they were asleep.

Only the next day, after another long day of riding, did Damen get a chance to talk with Laurent.They were a day from Marlas and they were camping by a stream that bubbled constantly, setting a calm ambiance around the camp.He and Laurent decided to sit by the stream as they ate and when they finished, neither moved.Laurent simply shifted in between Damen’s legs and sat back against his chest.

“Are you still alright with Marlas being the capital?” Damen asked.

“Worried I’ll suddenly think it was ridiculous of me to forgive you for killing my brother?”

“I didn’t realize you’d forgiven me for that,” Damen said.

“Oh?What had I done then?Forgotten it had happened altogether?Held a small pit of resentment for you and tried to pretend that didn’t exist?Of course I forgave you.Do you think I would have…”

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Damen laughed.“And, no, I just…I know it isn’t easy for you to be here.”

“And how would you know that?”

“The last time we were here, you rode out alone, abandoning poor Isander, and sat at the battlefield.I wouldn’t say you were brooding but…” Damen trailed off suggestively.Laurent slapped him on the thigh, hard.

“I don’t brood.Poor Isander, is it?Finally forgiven him for making you jealous?”

“I did, once I realized you were trying to make me jealous on purpose,” Damen replied.

“You sound confident about that.”

“I am.”

Laurent laughed quietly.There was a moment of silence afterwards, where he trailed his fingers in aimless patterns across the skin of Damen’s thigh, and then he said, “I’m sure about Marlas, Damen.”

“Good.”

“Have you talked to Nikandros?”

“No,” Damen said, “I haven’t.It’s been a couple of days since I’ve talked to you and that didn’t seem right.Why?”

“I haven’t either,” Laurent shrugged.

“You want to know how Jord is doing, don’t you?” Damen smiled.

Laurent shrugged again.

“We could go and ask.”

Laurent grabbed Damen’s arm and said, “No.I like this and I haven’t had this in a while.Stop moving.”

Damen stilled and relaxed once more, turning Laurent’s head gently with his palm and kissing him slowly.Laurent breathed into the kiss and suddenly it felt like it was just them and the river.It was a less substantial version of what he’d felt when he and Laurent had spent a week in the summer palace.Damen hadn’t realized this was the feeling he’d needed, but now that he had it, he didn’t want to let it go.

“I wish it could be like this all the time,” Damen confessed, quietly.

“I’d get bored.”

“Would you?”

“Yes.As entertaining as you are, lover, let’s remember back when I was injured and we spent every moment together,” Laurent said

“You make a good point,” Damen grumbled.If he recalled correctly, there had been times then when he hadn’t been able to look at Laurent without a spike of irritation. 

As it often did the past couple of days, Damen’s mind wandered to Jord and his lost hand.There was a mix of guilt, anger, and sadness that threatened to overwhelm him every time he did, but it was like fighting.Even if there were days when Damen didn’t fight, his body always longed for it.“Laurent?” Damen said.

“Hmm.”

“What am I going to do when this is all over?All I’m capable of is fighting.I was raised by my father to be a champion, a warrior, a battle strategist.Someone who could take on Vere and win.I know the basics of running a kingdom beyond that, but…”

Laurent smiled.“This is really disturbing you, isn’t it?”With a sigh, “There will always be wars, Damen.They’re impossible to escape.I don’t know if it’s human nature to fight, but I do know that there are men and women in this world who care about nothing more than raising themselves above others and as long as that’s the case, there will be wars.And don’t be self-deprecating.There’s plenty of other things that you’re good at.”At the look on Damen’s face, Laurent continued, “And, no, I’m not going to tell you what they are.You already know.You will be fine.You survived being my slave, didn’t you?”

“I did.A miracle, really.”

“The one thing I’m grateful to my uncle for.”

“Please tell me you didn’t just say that.”

“If he hadn’t stopped me, you would be dead and I would’ve lost.That’s the truth,” Laurent said.Then he extricated himself from Damen’s arms and said, “Come.Let’s find Nikandros and Jord.I’ve decided I want to ask.”

“What did you say to Jord?” Damen asked, suddenly remembering.

“I would like it to stay between me and him, but, in summary, I told him to deal with it.”

“Sounds like you.”

“Well, that’s clearly what he needed to hear.Now, are we going or not?” Laurent asked.

“Alright.Because you care?” Damen teased.

“Yes,” Laurent said, shortly, “And whose goddamn fault is that?”

 

They strolled to Jord and Nikandros’ tent, where Damen knew they now spent most of their time.The second day after he’d lost his hand, Jord had hobbled into his tent and hadn’t come back out, besides traveling.Damen assumed it was because of the pitying looks and quick apologies for something they hadn’t even done.It made sense, but it made Damen sad for Nikandros, who enjoyed eating with the soldiers and sharing stories.He wasn’t built to spend all of his time around just one person.But, it was clearly a sacrifice he was willing to make for Jord.

Damen called out their names and waited at the entrance.Nikandros appeared, pulling aside a flap and smiling broadly.“It’s been a while.”He ushered them in and immediately faced Laurent.“Can I have that hug now?”

Everything in Laurent stilled and his eyes were hard on Nikandros.There was a brief moment Damen considered whispering something to Nikandros that might discourage him, but then he figured that Laurent could take care of himself and sat down on the edge of the bed, across from Jord, who was sitting up and cradling his bandaged stump.They acknowledged each other and then mutually decided to watch this interaction unfold.

Warily, Laurent said, “If you promise to never give me one ever again and if it is very short, I suppose I could allow it.”

“Damen hugs you all the time.”

Laurent rolled his eyes, “Yes and I’m in love with him.I’m not in love with you and I dislike being touched.”

“What do you think I’m going to do?” Nikandros asked, his eyes wide.Damen thought it likely he was surprised those words had left Laurent’s mouth.Damen was even a little surprised.Everyone here knew that already, intimately, but Laurent hardly said it to him.

“The more you press, the less likely I am to allow it.”

“I’m already regretting this.”Then, Nikandros leaned in and wrapped his arms loosely around Laurent’s shoulder.Laurent didn’t return the sentiment and Damen couldn’t help but laugh, turning to Jord, whose eyes were bright.It was one of the awkwardest hugs either had ever witnessed.

When Nikandros pulled away, scowling, Laurent scowled right back.“Glad that’s over,” he said.

“I still don’t understand how in the fuck you got Damen to fall in love with you.Fuck you, yes, but fall in love with you, no.”

“Nikandros…”

“Right, I know, sorry.”He slid into the bed beside Jord and pulled him up against his chest.Jord didn’t seem to mind, but he still held his stump to his chest, as though the whole arm would fly away if he let it go.

“How are you?” Damen asked Jord.

“Better,” Jord smiled.It wasn’t quite his normal smile, but it was a close thing, and Damen sensed he could get it back.“Thank you for coming and sitting with me.I know it didn’t seem like I noticed, but I did.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Is the physician still optimistic about your recovery?”

“Yes.The stab wound didn’t puncture anything important and my hand was severed cleanly.I was lucky.”

“I think he’s taking it too well,” Nikandros mumbled.

“I thought you didn’t approve of the wallowing,” Laurent said. 

“How many threats of murder have you received in your lifetime?” Nikandros asked.

“A fair amount.”

Jord and Damen smiled.Their eyes met and they both understood. _This is normal.I’m so glad they’ve made this normal._

“Why don’t you complain about something for Nikandros’ sake,” Laurent drawled.

“Well,” Jord began, “Most of the time, I’m sure it’s still there.I swear, sometimes I’m convinced I’m still able to move fingers that aren’t even there and that’s a little strange.I’ve knocked over more things in the past couple of days than I have in my entire life.Doing basic tasks is also hard, but Nik has helped with most of them, so…I have told him to let me try,” Jord smiled slyly at Nikandros, “Because, obviously, he’s not always going to be right by my side, but he insists there’s time for that.And it is harder to get Nik off when I can’t…”

Nikandros spluttered, ending that train of thought and Jord grinned.

“Judging by his reaction, I assume it worked out fine,” Laurent said.

“Not quite as well as whatever Damen did to you that one night when the whole entire camp heard you at it,” Nikandros jumped in.

“I was wondering when you’d pull that one out.”

“Too predictable?” Nikandros asked.

“Much too.”

“Goddammit.”

Laurent turned to Jord.“I’m glad you’re feeling alright.You should get some rest.It’s going to be another long ride tomorrow and I expect controlling a horse is difficult.”

“A bit,” Jord admitted. 

“Damen and I will take our leave, then.”

Damen stood and took Laurent’s proffered hand.They were halfway through the flapped door when Laurent heard his name.He turned and Jord said, “Thank you.You’re a good friend.”

All emotion fled from Laurent’s face and Damen knew he was surprised.It was like when Herode had called him king after the trial.They were words he hadn’t expected to hear in his life.Not once; not really.After a moment of consideration, Laurent turned to Damen, a question in his eyes.Damen nodded encouragingly and Laurent said, “As are you, Jord.Sleep well.Both of you.”

Then they left.Damen strung an arm around Laurent’s waist and tugged him close.“That was well done.”

“I don’t need you to praise my interpersonal skills.”

“How does it feel to be kind to people and actually mean it?”

“Strange…like a good way to get stabbed in the back.”

“Never change,” Damen whispered, bending down to kiss Laurent’s cheek.

That made Laurent pause, Damen carrying him along at his pace for a moment, before Laurent’s feet managed to catch up.“What?” Damen asked.

“I always thought that was something you didn’t like about me.”

“Oh, Laurent.I love you.All of you.” 

Laurent smiled.“You sicken me.” 

 

The next day, they arrived at Marlas as the sun was setting.They were greeted by the sight of many familiar faces, including Lazar and Makedon, which resulted in Pallas hopping from his horse and charging Lazar, almost barreling him over.They kissed for a long time before Lazar led Pallas away, no words exchanged, and Damen was beginning to understand their relationship was almost entirely physical.

They also arrived to unpleasant news.According to Lazar, Guion had heard of the move to Marlas and was in the process of combining his and Lord Lycus’ troops and resources somewhere near Marlas.Damen glanced at the faces of all his friends, the new and old, at the walls of his capital, the capital of Verlos, and wondered just how much of it would end up surviving.


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was lots of crying (not just you, to be fair) after the last chapter, so I thought we could all use some fluff. So...fluff. Fluff to the max. Enjoy! Although, be prepared, shit is going to start getting real after this. Call it the breath before the plunge, if you'd like.  
> I love all of your comments and kudos and bookmarks as always. No girl was ever as lucky as I.  
> And thank you to @vereandakielos...perfect and wonderful, as usual.  
> <3

They’d been at Marlas two weeks and those two weeks had seen no respite.The appropriate papers recording the establishment of Verlos had been sent to Arles, remodeling of Marlas was under way—it was mostly replacing the ripped up tiles and torn down tapestries; nothing could be done about the sanded down turrets—every single day consisted of long meetings, and messengers were constantly disturbing any peace Laurent and Damen might have been able to get, by delivering news of Guion and Lord Lycus at any time, day or night.

There was one meeting every day that largely consisted of Laurent sharing the information he’d received of Guion and then preparing for whatever possibilities the ultimate fight might bring.Jord, Nikandros, Lazar, and Pallas attended these meetings and that was a relief for Damen, who was aware he wouldn’t get to see them otherwise, as his days were so full.

The plan, as it was now, was to find where Guion was hiding and flush him out.Laurent was convinced that this war would never be over otherwise, as Guion was perfectly content with lurking in the shadows and disassembling everything slowly, with attempts that would only work one out of every hundred times.The key was to avoid the one time it did actually work.Most of their meetings revolved around the “how”.There was yet to be an idea that actually had hope.That was largely because they still didn’t have enough information, something that Laurent complained about almost every day.

Those complaints happened in bed, during the five minutes of conversation they forced themselves to have, before they fell into a dreamless sleep.They hadn’t had sex in weeks, something that really rankled Damen.He didn’t know what Laurent’s feelings were on the matter—where sex was concerned, it was always hard to tell with him—but he hoped they were similar, or Damen was going to go crazy in the near future.There was something necessary in Laurent’s flushed cheeks, his soft moans, the contraction of his abdomen, and his lazy smile when he slipped back into bed after cleaning them off.It was one of the easiest ways for them to show the depth of their feelings.Damen missed it.

He also missed the ocean and the warmth of Southern Akielos.He’d abandoned his chitons recently in favor of Veretian clothing, because it kept him warmer.Whenever he walked into meetings, Nikandros still stubbornly wearing his chiton, he would give Damen a harsh up and down and a raised eyebrow. 

He missed a lot of things, actually.Marlas wasn’t just uncomfortable for Laurent, it was uncomfortable for him as well.Along with it came lots of memories of a different Damianos, one he liked less.Nor did it feel like home, not yet.That was what the renovations were attempting to do.Damen figured, eventually, this would be as much a home as Ios had been, but he didn’t want to suffer through the wait to get there.

Damen was lying on their bed, staring up at the ceiling and trying to stay awake.Laurent wasn’t back yet and, as a rule, neither of them fell asleep before the other arrived.In the earlier days of their stay, it had been because neither of them could, the bed, the sounds, the room, being strange, but now, it was because they’d go entire days seeing each other but not talking.

The door opened and without preamble, Laurent said, stripping off the outer-layers of his clothes, “What if we used Loyse?” 

Damen watched him flit around the room.He hadn’t even looked up at Damen yet.This.This is what it had been like.Damen sighed and said, “We can’t.We…I, at least, promised her safety.I’m not putting her in that position.Nor are we using her sons.We promised them safety, as well.”

“We didn’t promise the safety of her eldest.Whatever his name was.If we could manage to separate them…” Laurent trailed off, thinking.His hands were fumbling with his boots.Silently, Damen stood and walked to Laurent, bending down on one knee, and pulled off Laurent’s boots for him.For each boot, he slid his hand up Laurent’s calf and placed a quick kiss to the dip between the bone and flesh.

Laurent glanced down in surprise and then smiled, “I’m sorry.I keep doing that.Was it last night that you told me to leave that kind of talk outside of our room?”

“Three nights ago, actually.”

“That was…”Laurent stopped and wandered to the bed, sitting down on the edge.“Where is time going?”

“I don’t know, but I miss you.It’s this pang in my chest and sometimes I’ll get it even when we’re in the same room.That probably sounds ridiculous.”

Laurent patted the bed and Damen sat down.Leaning into Damen’s shoulder, Laurent said, “No.It doesn’t.”He turned his head so they were staring at each other and everything Damen had been feeling fell down through his body and into the ground.Maybe Marlas wasn’t home yet, but Laurent definitely was.Everything quieted and he was still and maybe he wasn’t awake, but for the first time in days, he thought he could stay awake for this.

“Are you tired?” he asked.

Laurent nodded.“Very.”Gently, he shoved Damen to the other side of the bed and laid down beside him.“But, I think…”

“You’ll stay awake?” Damen interrupted.He didn’t even try to disguise the excitement in his voice.

Laurent laughed quietly.“If that’s alright with you.”

Damen grinned up at the ceiling.When he managed to get that under control, he flipped onto his side and stared at Laurent.“How are you?” he asked.A simple question, and yet, one he hadn’t asked in days.Their five minute conversations before bed usually consisted of Laurent worrying about something.

“I’m with you,” Laurent said, simply.They stared at each other and when that got to be too much for Laurent, he wrenched his eyes away and peered around the room.

“This room is hideous,” he declared, “And I haven’t even noticed.I should have had renovations done in here first before anywhere else.” 

“Seems selfish.”

“There are perks to being royalty and I, for one, see no reason not to take advantage of them.Look at that, Damen.There’s a torn up floor tile over there and that painting has a tear in the center and I can’t even tell if those are supposed to be leaves or flowers.How you Akielons managed to destroy this place so quickly is beyond me.”

“Prejudice and hate are good motivators.”

“Apparently,” Laurent sighed.

“The room is perfectly functional, Laurent.”

“But it could be aesthetically pleasing, as well.Imagine how I’d look reading in a chair over there, the sun filtering in through latticed window panes and wispy curtains.Or, even better, imagine how I’d look up against that wall with the sun in my hair as you suck my cock.”

Damen’s eyes went wide and he managed to say, “Very nice, I’d imagine.”

“That I would.Are you beginning to see the benefits of an aesthetically pleasing room?”

“Enhancing your beauty?”

“Precisely.”

Damen laughed and pulled Laurent close, kissing the corner of his mouth.“Can we please talk about something less frivolous?”

“Frivolous?Damen, I’m appalled.There will be no sucking my cock against that wall until I have my curtains.Surely, even you, can find the importance in that.Besides, I happen to know you love listening to me talk about anything, so long as I’m talking.”

“I’d prefer if you weren’t talking, actually,” Damen whispered and he leaned in and kissed Laurent the way he’d been imagining it all day.Hot and slow with lots of tongue.They hadn’t even been allowed this.Not really.

Laurent reached up and tugged Damen closer, fingers digging hard into Damen’s neck.When they pulled away for air, Laurent gasped, “This is nice, but I do actually want to talk to you.”Damen grimaced and sighed, rolling onto his back.“Oh, don’t give me that look,” Laurent continued, “I’ll keep it short and then we can sate your insatiable desires.”

“What about?”

“Anything.”Laurent flushed lightly.“I just want to hear your voice for a while.”

“I talk during the meetings, you know.”

“Not that voice.This voice.The voice you only use when you’re lying next to me in bed.”

“I didn’t realize I had a specific voice,” Damen said.

“Well, you do.”

“And how would you describe it?”

“It’s softer, kinder, more imploring than demanding.”

“I wonder why,” Damen smiled.

“I don’t know.Maybe you’re in love with me.”

“Maybe I am.”

Laurent smiled and closed the distance between their bodies, his hand curled into Damen’s and his shoulder against Damen’s chest.The smile hadn’t deserted his face the entire time and Damen gently poked the corner of it with their interlocked hands.“What?” he asked.

“Just laughing at you.”

“That is not what is happening.”

“Like I’d tell you.”

Damen pondered that and then said, “Can I make a guess?”

“I suppose.”

“If I get it right, will you give me something?”

Again, “I suppose.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, Damen, it sounds like you’ve got something in mind.Keep in mind, I have the right to say no.”

“Of course you do.”

“So?” Laurent asked, one eyebrow raised.Damen considered drawing out his impatience a little longer, but he realized he was almost as desperate.They both knew what was happening here and the pretending could only last so long.It was part of the fun, but not the entirety of it.

“You let me suck your cock against that wall, curtains or no.Tonight.”

“And if you guess wrong?”

“What would you like, Your Highness?”

Laurent smiled.“It’s been a while since you’ve called me that.I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed it.”A short pause and then, “You give me a chaste kiss and then we fall asleep.I am exhausted.”

Damen’s eyebrows furrowed.“You don’t want to have sex?”

“Oh, I do, but you want it much more.This makes things entertaining.Do you want a minute or two to think about your guess?I know you don’t want to guess wrong.”

“I’m alright.I’m pretty confident.”Damen bent down and nuzzled Laurent’s ear, biting the top of it gently.Then he whispered, so softly that Laurent had to angle his head, “You were thinking that you never tire of hearing me tell you that I love you, because you never thought you’d be lucky enough to hear those words again, after your brother died.At least, from someone who meant them.”

“Partially right.”

“Only partially?”

“At the time, I thought my uncle meant them.”

Damen lowered his eyes and breathed deeply, controlling the well of anger that always flared whenever Laurent brought up what his uncle had done to him.Noticing the change, Laurent squeezed his hand hard.“Still want to suck my cock?” he murmured.

“I lost.”

“No, you didn’t.You were right.Right enough, anyway.”

Damen groaned and let his head fall into Laurent’s neck.Laurent stroked his hair and waited for the rage to dissipate.They waited a long while and when Damen finally removed his head from Laurent’s neck with a quick kiss, Laurent was half asleep.Laughing quietly, Damen pulled the covers up around them and kissed Laurent’s forehead.

“No,” Laurent grumbled, “I’m fine.I lost a bet.Help me up.”

“Just go to sleep, Laurent.It’s alright.Tomorrow.”

“We might not have time tomorrow.”

“Sleep.”

“You can’t order me around while I’m trying to order you around.It doesn’t work.And we both know I can outlast you.”

“Not if you fall asleep,” Damen said.

“I’m not going to fall asleep.”Laurent raised himself onto his elbows and captured Damen’s lips with his.The delicate fingers of his hand were tugging hard on his curls, pulling him down into the bed, and Damen followed.This was something he had very little resistance to.When Laurent pulled away, his lips were swollen and red and his eyes were dark.“Carry me to the wall.”

Damen didn’t have to be asked twice.Crawling off the bed, he beckoned for Laurent, who wound his arms around Damen’s neck and allowed himself to be lifted.Damen stumbled across the room, right to the part of the wall Laurent had gestured to earlier, and pressed him hard into it, every part of his body pinned down.There would likely be bruising as Laurent’s skin was so fine, but he didn’t seem to mind.

They were still kissing, tongues sliding, heat building, and only when Laurent bit down on Damen’s bottom lip, was he able to wrench himself away and begin kissing Laurent’s neck and then his chest, over the top of his clothes, until he was kneeling on the floor.

Laurent wound a hand into Damen’s hair and tugged impatiently as Damen undid the laces of his pants.That was when there was a knock on the door.Laurent’s head hit the wall and he groaned, loudly.It was an irritated groan, but Damen could’ve easily mistook it for something else if he’d actually managed to touch Laurent yet.

Shrugging, Damen took Laurent into his mouth.This time the groan wasn’t irritated and Laurent allowed himself to be coaxed away from thoughts of the people outside the door. 

There was another knock, but Damen could feel Laurent becoming hard under his ministrations and neither of them paid this knock attention.

Then, “Stop fucking, you two.We want to talk.”

This time Damen was the one to stop.It was Nikandros’ voice.Laurent whined and whispered, “Can we please ignore him?”

“He won’t go away.”

“Sometimes I think I don’t hate him and then he does things like this.” 

Damen glanced up from the floor and noticed that Laurent was thinking.That couldn’t be good.Damen was having a hard time extricating himself completely.Laurent’s cock was flush and twitching in front of him.Without thinking about it, he licked the slit.He could see Laurent’s fingers go white against the wall and Laurent said, “I’ve had an idea.He won’t leave, you say?What’s the harm in finishing, then?”

Damen smiled and kissed the side of Laurent’s cock, before taking him in his mouth again and bobbing slowly around the tip.Laurent bucked his hips up and he moaned long and slow.They both laughed when they heard Nikandros slam a hand against the door and say, “Goddammit.Jord…”The rest of the words didn’t make it through the door.

They stopped laughing when Nikandros continued.“I’m not going to play games with you, Laurent.In ten seconds, I’m walking in.I would prefer not to see whatever you’re doing, but don’t imagine this is a bluff.”

This didn’t seem to disturb Laurent in the slightest, but Damen retreated, wiping his mouth and settling into a chair.Sighing, Laurent disappeared to a separate room and Jord and Nikandros walked in.They weren’t surprised to find Laurent missing.Nikandros slid into a chair right next to Damen and slapped his knee.“Sorry about that,” he said.

“Please tell me that you’ve come to talk about something important.”

Jord looked pained.“We should’ve left them alone, Nik.”

“Bullshit.It’s been a long couple of weeks and I expect they’ll continue to be.We all need a break and I intend on giving us one.”

“You interrupted my break,” Damen grumbled.

“I’m so sorry,” Jord murmured.“We can go.”Gently, he pulled on Nikandros’ hand, entreating him to back down.

“Stay,” Laurent said, strolling back in, everything laced, not a hair out of place.“You’ve already interrupted.You might as well make it worth my while.Did you have something in mind, Nikandros?”Laurent’s eyes clearly said that, if he didn’t, the conversation would quickly turn ugly.It didn’t faze Nikandros, however.He looked prepared.Damen was relieved to see that he seemed to know Laurent well enough to understand interrupting him from anything was generally unwise.

“I thought we could go riding somewhere and drink.”

“Why does drinking always equate to fun?” Laurent said.But it didn’t sound derisive and he wasn’t saying no.Sensing this, Nikandros smiled and held out a hand for Jord. 

“We’ll go prepare the horses.”

“Other side,” Jord murmured.Nikandros looked down, flushed lightly, and quickly flitted to the other side of Jord, his hand still extended.Jord took it.

Damen heard Nikandros mutter, “I’ve told you.Holding your arm doesn’t disturb me.”

“I prefer it this way.”

There was a fire in Jord’s eyes and Nikandros didn’t argue.He shot Damen and Laurent another smile and left to go to the stables.Halfway out the door, not even bothering to turn back, Nikandros shouted, “Ten minutes.No finishing what you started.”

“As if I couldn’t finish you off in five,” Laurent scoffed at Nikandros’ back.

“He knows I like to take my time,” Damen said.“Attend me?”

Laurent nodded and helped Damen into a dark purple riding jacket.He began to lace up the arms and Damen stared at the pale splash of neck that peeked through his hair as it fell forward.Then he turned his attention to Laurent’s fingers, which were slender and quick, doing up the laces faster than Damen could.When those fingers began lacing up the neck, Laurent gazed at him with a small smile.“I feel I should warn you that I might fall asleep tonight.”

“You don’t have to come.I know they’ll understand.”

“I want to.Despite his abysmal timing, Nikandros is right.It’s been too long since we’ve relaxed.Aren’t you the one that tells me I’ll go insane if I’m not careful?”

“We won’t be in danger, will we?”

“Probably not.I can’t promise, though.I’d bring your sword.”

Damen strapped his sword around his waist as Laurent was saying the words.Then he moved to help Laurent with his own jacket, mostly with the laces at the neck, which on Laurent’s, were in the back.Laurent held his hair up and waited.When Damen finished, Laurent handed him a hair tie and said, “I’d like a braid.”

“I have no idea how to braid.”

“Phaedrus could do it.”

“That’s an exaggeration,” Damen replied.

Laurent sighed.“Separate my hair into three separate, equal chunks.”

Damen gathered all of Laurent’s hair and swept his fingers through the silky strands again and again.He wasn’t usually allowed to pay this singular sort of attention to Laurent’s hair.It was longer than strictly necessary when Damen finally had the hair in the formation Laurent had directed.Laurent continued the instruction and Damen struggled, not always capable of keeping track of all three chunks, and occasionally adding and subtracting hair from one to the others.By the time he was done, it was a mess, but it sort of resembled a braid.Reaching back, Laurent grasped the braid in his hand and laughed.

“I tried,” Damen said, exasperated.

Laurent turned and kissed him.That transformed Damen’s mood instantly and he smiled self-deprecatingly.“I think we were supposed to be down there five minutes ago,” he said.

“I’m sure once I explain your attempt at braiding, they’ll understand,” Laurent laughed.He felt the braid again.“It really is terrible.I’ll have to give you more lessons, because right now, I can still do better on my own.”

“Why didn’t you, then?”

Laurent flushed.“What else are you good for?” he asked, recovering.

“You like having my hands in your hair,” Damen grinned. 

“Preposterous.” 

Damen’s smile grew.Laurent had managed to control himself enough that Damen almost believed him.But not quite.“I like it, too,” Damen said.

Laurent didn’t grace that with a response, but did slip his fingers between Damen’s, squeezing gently.

Together, they walked down to the stables.Jord and Nikandros were waiting outside with three horses.Neither Laurent or Damen said anything, but gathered their horses and mounted.Nikandros mounted his and then helped Jord up behind him.Apparently, Jord hadn’t managed to figure out horse-riding with one hand yet.However, Jord didn’t seem to mind.He wrapped both of his arms around Nikandros’ waist and settled his cheek against Nikandros’ shoulder.And then they were off, Laurent leading the way.

The ride was pleasant, though the evening air was chilly.What was more than pleasant was the look on Laurent’s face.It had been a long time since he’d galloped and the pure joy he derived from it was intoxicating.Damen hadn’t stopped smiling once he’d seen Laurent’s smile.

Damen had known where they were going the moment Laurent had taken the lead, but he still found himself surprised when they stopped at the former battlefield where Auguste had died.He had expected to visit here at some point, but tonight was supposed to be about relaxing and recovering, not the opposite.Jord seemed similarly apprehensive.As he dismounted, he shot Laurent a strange look.Nikandros was still trying to figure out where they were.Damen could tell he was confident he’d been here before and that it was disturbing him.

“Would you two breathe?” Laurent said.“It’s as though your brother died here, not mine.”

Suddenly, Nikandros knew where he was and laughed.“I knew I recognized this place.I thought maybe I was going crazy.”

“Be more like him,” Laurent said.And then, “Actually, I take that back.Please don’t.I can’t stand him.”

“Likewise.”

They were grinning at each other again.Damen began to understand their relationship as he watched.What Laurent liked about Damen was his ability to see through his front and then treat what he saw with kindness and patience.Laurent liked Nikandros because he could see through the facade as well, but he pretended he couldn’t.Laurent never had to worry about having an intensely personal conversation with Nikandros, which made trust easier.

With a glance at Jord, who was still staring at Laurent warily, Damen plopped onto the ground, lying back in the grass.Most of the sky was covered in clouds, but there were patches of stars and Damen stared at those.They were beautiful, as stars always were.Like Laurent.Resolutely beautiful.

The others joined him, handing around a flask with alcohol, and Damen felt Laurent’s hand sneak into his.He was holding it slightly harder than usual and Damen knew that being here was affecting him more than he was letting on.“Remember the last time we were here?” Damen whispered into his ear.

Laurent smiled and was on the verge of replying, when Nikandros said, “I’m outlawing whispering.Notice that I didn’t outlaw flirting, because I’d still prefer to hear it than have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I was just asking Laurent if he remembered the last time we were here.”

“And I was going to say that I did, because I’m not an idiot and my brain functions.”

“That is not what you were going to say,” Damen laughed.

“Was this when Laurent disappeared with Isander?” Jord asked. 

Laurent inhaled sharply, caught by surprise.Jord continued, “I knew you couldn’t possibly want to sleep with Isander.You despise slavery and he was a poor stand-in for Damen.”

“He was not a stand-in for Damen,” Laurent said, appalled.

“He was only trying to make me jealous,” Damen inputted, helpfully.“It worked.”

“I don’t remember this at all,” Nikandros grumbled.“I must’ve been drunk.”

“So you rode out here?” Jord said.

“Yes,” Laurent sighed.“I didn’t feel like being around people and Damen was drinking too much and staring at me, so I left.Thankfully, I had an easy way out.I rode here and sat up there.”He pointed towards the ruins.“But Damen found me.Quickly.I remember being so irritated because I didn’t want to see him, but also because I was predictable enough that he was able to find me.We still weren’t talking then.”

“There was a time when you weren’t talking?” Nikandros asked.

Jord laughed and leaned his head on Nikandros’ shoulder.“How are you so oblivious?”

“To be fair, I knew nothing about Laurent besides what Damen told me.Which, by the way, was basically nothing.I did most of the discovering on my own.”

“I’m actually curious,” Laurent began, “What was he like when we weren’t talking?”

“I need a time frame,” Nikandros answered.

“We are not talking about this,” Damen said.

“We’re married, Damen.I already know you were miserable, I just want the details.”

“And how would you know that?Were you miserable, too?”

Laurent laughed.“I know because you don’t want to talk about it.Come, Nikandros, tell us.Think from after the battle at Charcy to Damen’s fight with Makedon.”

“What changed after the fight with Makedon?” Jord asked, trying to steer the conversation away from anything that made Damen uncomfortable.While Damen appreciated it, he already knew Laurent wouldn’t be swayed.

Sure enough, Laurent stared hard at Nikandros, until he wavered and actually considered the question.

Nikandros thought for a while.Then, slowly, he said, “Well, he didn’t smile often.It was easier to anger him, as well.And he never sat still.He was always working, whether it was writing letters or practicing with a sword.I’m not entirely convinced he slept either.I probably wasn’t helping.I commented on your blonde hair and blue eyes more than necessary.”

“He was pining,” Laurent said, a smile apparent in his voice.

“You broke my heart,” Damen whispered.

Laurent stilled beside Damen and the smile disappeared.He leaned into Damen and kissed him on the cheek, leaving his lips there two breaths longer than required.Damen had never gotten a proper apology for those words, but he knew that a kiss on the cheek was the most he could ever expect.They weren’t words Laurent regretted.He’d been trying to protect himself.

Jord handed the flask to Damen.Then he began a story of his own, knowing they’d picked through Damen and Laurent’s past long enough.“The first time Nikandros and I managed to have a proper conversation, having learned enough Veretian and Akielon between us to do so, he insulted me in at least five different ways and I started questioning everything I’d been feeling for him.”

Nikandros groaned.“I forgot that happened.That was so embarrassing.”Then, with a smile in his voice, “I apologized profusely.I got down on my knees.I offered Jord whatever he wanted, promised him the moon, and then kissed every single one of his fingers.He forgave me, but only because he was laughing so hard, he couldn’t think of anything else to say.”

“Ever dramatic,” Damen said.

“He likes the drama,” Nikandros said, blowing a raspberry into Jord’s neck.

“He would have to.”

“I’m glad I forgave him,” Jord said, softly.Laurent groaned and stood. 

“I’m going for a walk,” he declared.“You’re all being too sentimental.”Then he disappeared into the darkness.Damen watched him go.

“Are you going to…” Nikandros said to Damen.

Damen shook his head.“He needs some time alone.He’s not as alright with this as he seems.Once upon a time, Auguste was all he had.Marlas will never be easy for him.”

“Then why does he want to spend the rest of his life here?”

Jord answered before Damen could.“Because he’s pragmatic above all else and it makes the most sense.His personal feelings are of little consequence.”

Nikandros shifted into talking about a book of poetry Jord was having him read, which Jord was more than happy to talk to him about, allowing Damen to focus on other things, worrying about Laurent in particular.It wasn’t especially light out here and he could get lost.He was also tired and worn out, and now, Damen was thinking that, perhaps, he should’ve gone after Laurent and dragged him back.He might’ve needed the time alone, but now hadn’t been the time to do it.There was no point in searching for him now, though.That moment had come and gone.So, Damen listened half-heartedly to discussions of poetry, which quickly turned into Jord reciting love poetry at Nikandros.Damen had a high tolerance for romantic gestures, but even this was slightly nauseating.

When Jord had finished his third poem, to an unconcealed groan from Damen, he murmured, “Sorry, Damen.That wasn’t inclusive.It just seemed like you had other things on your mind.”

“I’m worried he won’t be able to find us.”

“He can shout,” Jord said.“He’d have to walk a very long ways for us to not be able to hear him.”

“I’m going to go look for him.”

“Because losing both of you is going to solve this problem,” Nikandros said.

“I won’t go far.”

“Let him go,” Jord murmured.

Damen stood and wandered away from his friends.He shouted Laurent’s name into the darkness, pausing for a moment between each, straining to hear a noise, but there was nothing.Walking a little farther, making sure he still knew the way back to Jord and Nikandros, he shouted again. 

“Damen?”

Damen followed the sound of Laurent’s voice and then heard, “You are about to step on me.Stop walking.”

Looking down, Damen spotted Laurent, sprawled in the grass, arms underneath his head.The moonlight illuminated the sharper planes of his face, making him appear more gaunt than usual.It was still beautiful.Of course.Damen hoped Laurent didn’t age well, so that someday he could think Laurent wasn’t unfairly beautiful; catch him just once looking less than perfect.Then he crossed that thought out, knowing it would never happen.Even if Laurent turned into a decrepit, stumbling old man with a cane, Damen would still find him beautiful.

Settling on the ground beside Laurent, Damen took his hand and kissed the palm.“It’s getting late.We should head back.”

“Not a terrible idea.It was good you came looking for me when you did, because I was about five minutes away from falling asleep.”

“That would’ve been incredibly stupid.”

“I told you I was tired.”

Damen shook his head.“Come on.”He pulled gently, but Laurent resisted.“What…”

“I need a moment.I…could you…”

“What, Laurent?”Damen tried not to sound concerned, but he was.If only he was as good at disguising his emotions as Laurent was. 

“Hold me.”The voice cracked slightly and Damen suddenly wondered if Laurent had been crying.He didn’t ask, however.Instead, he lifted Laurent from the grass and cradled him against his chest.Rocking slowly, he hummed one of the lullabies Laurent loved singing to him.The notes were off-key and Damen winced at a couple truly horrible attempts, but he’d never promised to be good at this.For a while, Laurent was silent, but then he started laughing.At first, softly, and then loudly, his arms slipping around Damen’s waist so that he wouldn’t fall from his lap.

“You really are awful,” Laurent laughed.“I had no idea.”

“Glad I made you feel better,” Damen said dryly.“I hope you enjoyed it, because I’m never singing or humming for you again.”

“I am more than alright with that.”

Gently, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Damen felt Laurent’s fingers tapping against his back, debating.“I didn’t expect it to be this hard,” he murmured.“In allowing myself to be happy, I’ve opened the door for everything else as well, which I didn’t really comprehend until tonight, being here.It just…it hurts more than I thought it would.I haven’t allowed myself to properly miss him for a long time.”

Damen didn’t know what to say.He considered teasing Laurent for his honesty, but figured that would discourage him from future attempts and that was the last thing Damen wanted.He also considered apologizing, but Laurent had already expressed his dislike of that.Instead, Damen found himself asking a question.“What does missing him feel like?”

“Like there’s a horse standing on my chest.”

“That’s terrible.”And it was.Damen considered admitting that was sort of what missing his father felt like sometimes, missing the brother he thought he’d had was like, but Damen was confident the horses couldn’t be weighed on the same scale, so he said nothing.

“Yes.”Laurent unraveled himself from Damen’s arms and stood, tugging Damen up after him.“I would prefer to not continue this conversation.And I’d like to be in bed.”

“Alright.They’re this way.Probably.”

“Reassuring.”

“Do you know?”

After a short silence, “No.”

Walking in silence, they heard Jord and Nikandros before they saw them and they were definitely kissing, perhaps more.Damen could feel himself flush and Laurent sighed.He dropped Damen’s hand and then Damen heard Nikandros exclaim, “Did you just kick me?”

“Yes.We’re leaving.Get up.”

Damen approached then, figuring it was no longer dangerous, and helped Jord to his feet.Jord gave an apology to Damen, which finished with, “We weren’t sure when you two would be back and, well, he’s kind of hard to resist.”

Damen laughed.“He can be forceful.”

 

They rode back to Marlas, said goodnight to Jord and Nikandros, who kept gazing at each other, even when having a conversation with others, and went to bed.Laurent was asleep almost instantly.Damen was awake a little longer and he stared at the relaxed, boyish limbs, the lines of his face, and smiled.Leaning over, he pressed tiny kisses up and down his arm.“Thank you for tonight,” he whispered.“Thank you for telling the truth.Thank you for being you.”The words hung in the air between them, but Damen didn’t mind.Laurent already knew.


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the final act begins. Nobody panic, the final act should take a while, but it is the final act...and I know I was told to warn people when we were nearing the end. We are nearing the end. It's killing me, but it's the truth.  
> Thank you so much for reading and commenting and showing me so much love and devotion as always.  
> And thank you to @vereandakielos. I love you.  
> Enjoy!

They still didn’t have a workable plan a week later and it was beginning to weigh on Laurent.He hadn’t been pleasant in days.Not to anyone.Damen knew he was stressed and concerned, but it was difficult to be around him, nonetheless.All stares were hard, all muscles were tense, and only once or twice in the past week had Laurent said something that could be construed as nice.

This meeting had already lasted an hour.Lazar and Pallas were staring lazily at each other; Nikandros was gazing hard at the map, blank-eyed; Jord was staring at the opposite wall, thinking; Laurent was seated, tapping his foot—the only sound in the room—and waiting.Waiting for himself to work out a way.There was no doubt it was disturbing him that his brain wasn’t up to the task.

Damen sighed loudly.This was largely unproductive, but Laurent had forbidden them to leave until there was a plan, likely hoping the group would work better under pressure.Everyone but Jord turned to stare at him.The attention was unwelcome, because now he felt he should say something.“Let’s go back over what we know.”

Nikandros groaned and slumped back into his chair, “For the fifth time?Let’s all admit that this is pointless and call it a day.”As he said those words, Nikandros looked straight at Laurent, eyes pleading.Laurent stared back, eyes cold.Jord was translating Nikandros’ words into Pallas’ ear.He and Nikandros had been switching back and forth with that duty.

“I think it’s the sixth,” Pallas said, unhelpfully, counting remembered incidents on his fingers.Lazar was watching those fingers as though they ought to be in his mouth.Damen tried to come up with something productive Lazar had said today, but couldn’t.

“Maybe it will spark something,” Damen said.

“It didn’t the first six times,” Nikandros replied.“Can’t you do something about your husband?”

“No.”Damen didn’t even glance at Laurent.He knew exactly what could and couldn’t be accomplished right now and getting Laurent to allow them a respite was not going to happen.

Since nobody seemed willing to conduct the exercise out loud, Damen ran through the facts again in his head.Guion was somewhere near Marlas.His children were his biggest weakness and they were allowed to target one of them if necessary.Lord Lycus had also left his estate, likely to join up with Guion, but all scouts that had been following his travels had been discovered and killed.The attacks on Damen and Laurent were bound to increase, especially now that access was easier.Damen was still working out the kinks in patrols and he worried constantly that there was some entrance that he simply didn’t know about, though Laurent assured him all was accounted for.There were likely many spies within the staff—two had already been discovered—and Guion had hidden his location well.There were some rumors that Guion was at an abandoned fort along the coast, but they were only rumors and neither Damen nor Laurent could recall a ruin on the coast by Marlas.The problem was, there very well could be, as they didn’t know the terrain well.Efforts were being made to find someone who did.The last two people they had brought in were just as unsure.

It came down to this: they could risk traveling to an unknown location in the hope that the unknown location was where Guion actually was, and somehow capture Guion’s son.The mission would have to be small and it would be high risk, which was why Laurent had been so desperate to come up with something else.He wasn’t scared for his own life, but he was scared for Damen’s.It wasn’t something he admitted, but everyone in the meeting knew.They also knew that Laurent wouldn’t entrust the mission, due to it’s importance, to anyone besides he and Damen and a couple of well-chosen others.

The only way this course could be avoided, was if they gained a new piece of vital information in the next hour or so, which was unlikely, or Laurent remembered another weakness of Guion’s that would be easier to exploit.

“Laurent,” Damen said, “You would’ve discovered another way by now if there was one.We’ve risked our lives countless times for Verlos.This wouldn’t be any different.It is a risk, but one we have to take.If we don’t, we’ll probably die anyway.One of these assassination attempts is bound to work eventually.”

Damen had already explained this, more than once.That was the problem with this meeting.Everything had already been said.What they were really waiting on was Laurent being just as confident as they were, concluding that there were no other courses of action.

“I don’t like it,” Jord murmured, the first words he’d said all afternoon.“It could backfire too easily.It’s still less risky to plan for assassination attempts and evade them.”

“All it takes is one guard who’s asleep or one servant who forgets to taste the food.It would require constant vigilance and I don’t expect anyone to be able to keep that up indefinitely,” Damen argued.

“Eager to die?” Laurent said.

Damen rolled his eyes, making Lazar snicker.He only shut up when Laurent glared at him.“Of course not,” Damen said.“I have the same qualms that you do.You know that as well as I.”

“We have been here almost two hours today,” Nikandros said, “And countless hours the rest of the week trying to come up with something better.I’m tired of talking.I want to do something.Stop wasting our time, Your Highness.”The derisiveness of ‘Your Highness’ made both Jord and Damen wince.

“Damen and Nikandros are right,” Pallas said.“The number of days we can get away with this kind of talk are dwindling.”

“Anything to add, Lazar?Or are you just here to wait for the room to clear out so you can fuck Pallas on this table,” Laurent said.

“I’m a simple man, Your Highness.You are all better equipped to think about these things than I am.You know very well I can carry out orders and I can keep men in line, but that is the extent of my capabilities.In regards to this mission, the only information I have that might be helpful is this: I am willing to die for you.”After a moment of silence, he continued with, “And, yes, I would like very much to fuck Pallas over this table.”

Pallas, who likely only understood his name and the word fuck, smiled and bowed his head in an attempt to hide it.Lazar was staring lazily at him once more.

“Fine,” Laurent said, “But you are all coming with us.It seems only fair, since you’re so eager.I hope we all die so you know just how idiotic this is.”Nikandros looked as though he were about to say something, but Laurent cut him off.“And, no, I don’t have a better plan, which is why I’m agreeing.Shut up, Nikandros.

“Make whatever plans you need to,” he finished, before, with one last glare, he swept from the room.Nikandros exhaled loudly.

“I think I know someone who isn’t getting any tonight,” he said.He and Lazar laughed companionably.

Jord pursed his lips and slapped his hand down on the table, getting the occupants attention.“Laurent is right.This plan is shit.I suggest you all stop teasing and get serious.We can reduce risk by coming up with realistic scenarios and ways we could counteract them.It would also be worthwhile to create an inventory of anything we might need.”

Nikandros was staring at Jord in surprise.Quietly, he said, “That was incredibly attractive.”

“Guess who else isn’t getting any tonight?” Jord replied. 

Lazar whooped and started laughing again.Pallas was clearly confused, but he laughed along with Lazar nonetheless.

That got Nikandros’ attention and he and Damen began a conversation with Jord about what might happen and what could be prevented.After another hour, they allowed themselves to stop, minds too tired to continue.Besides, Lazar and Pallas were altogether disturbing in their intensity.They had managed to agree that nighttime would be the best, as they needed a cover, and that if Laurent agreed to go tomorrow, they should leave in the late afternoon.Damen was to deliver the message, something he wasn’t looking forward to.Suddenly, Damen wished Jokaste was here.She would be able to convince him that it would be okay and a small gurgle from Phaedrus would calm him down.

Unbidden, Jokaste’s voice entered his head. _He’s only angry because he doesn’t want to lose you.Just keep that in mind while you talk to him.It will be fine._

Steeling himself, Damen wandered through the halls of Marlas to their rooms.He almost took the wrong turn that he’d taken almost every day for the past three weeks, but at the last minute, remembered it was wrong.Feeling proud of himself, he entered their rooms with a small smile on his face; one that didn’t escape Laurent’s notice.

“I bet you won’t be smiling like that while you’re dying.”

“Probably not,” Damen agreed.“I was smiling because I managed to get here without turning myself around.I’ll just stop smiling, shall I?”

Laurent said nothing in reply and stood from the chair he’d been sprawled in and walked to the balcony.This one didn’t have a view of the ocean—they were too far inland—but it did have a lovely view of the grassy plains that stretched for miles.Often, it managed to remind Damen of the ocean, just a very yellow and green one.Damen joined him, their elbows resting against each other on top of the balustrade.

“We’re leaving tomorrow afternoon,” Damen whispered.

Laurent was still silent.Nothing tensed at Damen’s words, but Damen realized that was because Laurent was about as wound up as he could get.There was no room for more tension. 

The silence continued until it became real; a knife that was piercing Damen in the side.“Say something,” he murmured, nudging his elbow lightly against Laurent’s.

“No.”

Damen decided the only thing he could do was talk.Something needed to fill the silence.“I understand that this is a huge risk.I understand we don’t have enough information and that that makes you uncomfortable and scared, but I just want this to be over.I want to be able to wake up in the morning and decide that kingship is too much work for the day and spend the rest of it in bed with you.I want Jokaste and Phaedrus back and I want my biggest worry to be trade agreements with Vask.Maybe this isn’t the best way, but we haven’t found a better one and we’re running out of time.”Then, much more softly, “I don’t want to lose you either.I’m terrified this could end badly and I could lose everything and everyone I care about, but that could happen no matter what we do.I just…I need you to talk to me and I need you to not be mad…I need you right now.”

“So I can tell you it will all be alright and you can sleep soundly knowing I lied to you?”

“I don’t need you to lie to me and we don’t have to talk about tomorrow.I know everything you would tell me.We can talk about something else, anything else.”

“Is this a ‘If I die tomorrow, Laurent, would you want this moment to be the last moment we had?’ sort of conversation?Because I could really care less.”

“It’s not.But if it was, I happen to know you would care.A lot.”

“People die every day, Damen.”

“I don’t die every day.” 

Laurent shut his eyes, his lips in a thin line.“What do you want from me?”

“Nothing,” Damen sighed, surrendering.“I’m going to go make preparations for tomorrow and then get drunk with Jord and Nikandros.I’ll see you tonight.”He’d been making attempts like this all week and none had worked.It was emotionally taxing and Damen had had enough.Laurent would have to be the next one to reach out.

He was halfway to the door, when Laurent said, “Wait,” the word very clearly forced out between clenched teeth.“Do you remember when you made me promise to tell you if I needed help?”

Damen nodded.

“I need your help.”

Everything in Damen softened, all the anger, all the tension, all the worry, and he walked back towards Laurent.“What can I do?” he asked.

Laughing bitterly, Laurent said, “I don’t know.There’s probably nothing you can do.”

Damen smiled.“I don’t know about that.”He reached down and stopped inches from holding Laurent’s hand.Laurent nodded slowly and Damen took it.“Come with me.”

Saying nothing, Laurent followed.In fact, once he asked for help, Laurent seemed to relinquish all control to Damen.He didn’t argue or ask questions or wrench his hand from Damen’s.The most he managed was his usual straight-backed posture.No one would be able to tell he wasn’t himself. 

They ended up in the baths, a servant having just finished drawing one for someone else.Damen interrupted the servant and told him that he and Laurent would be taking this one.The servant bowed and left, leaving behind all of the oils and soaps.

When Damen let go of Laurent’s hand, he stood still, glancing around him.He didn’t move to take his clothes off or help Damen with his.He didn’t move at all.Damen said, “We’re in the baths, Laurent.Take a wild guess as to what happens next.”

“I’m not entirely sure how this is supposed to help me.”

“That’s not important.I’m in charge of that, remember?Take of your clothes.”

“That is not making me feel better,” Laurent said, shortly.

“Sorry,” Damen murmured.“Would you please take of your clothes?I’ll get in the tub and turn my back, if you want.”

Laurent stared.

“I promise you this will help.I need you to give me a break and I need you to trust me.I love you, remember?And I know you.I might not know exactly what you need, but I have an idea.Slough off some of the anger you’ve been directing at me all week and let me take care of you.”

Laurent kept staring.Damen sighed and removed his chiton, slipping into the hot water.“You don’t make anything easy, do you?” he grumbled.There was no sense in pushing him any further, so Damen submerged his head and stayed under the water for as long as his breath would hold, reveling in the silence and the weightlessness.When he came back up, Laurent’s legs were dangling into the bathtub.He wasn’t in, but his clothes were off and the corners of his mouth were pointed down.

“I think I should apologize,” he murmured.“I’ve been awful to you and that’s not fair.None of this is your fault.If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s…”

“Don’t,” Damen interrupted.“Get in the bath and stop talking.” 

Laurent did, sliding down right next to Damen, the skin of their thighs slipping together.He took a deep breath and relaxed as the water covered his shoulders.Then he slumped into Damen’s chest and stayed there, breathing softly.He wasn’t relaxed, but Damen could see him trying.

Laughing softly, Damen curled a hand around Laurent’s neck, pressing his thumb into the side, feeling a pulse.Rubbing gently, he slowly dipped Laurent’s head until Laurent understood the message and dunked his head underwater.When he rose, Damen already had soap ready in his hand and he massaged Laurent’s scalp, helping suds form.Eventually, Laurent leaned into his touch and closed his eyes.Damen bent and kissed his neck, before lathering soap into the ends of his hair.Then, because he could, and because he was trying to get Laurent to relax, Damen started at the hairline and ran his fingers all the way down and out.Over and over and over again.Somewhere in the middle, Laurent made a small noise of pleasure and leaned back into Damen’s chest, which Damen allowed easily, spreading his legs.One of his knees was pressed uncomfortably into the walls of the bath, but he ignored the small twinges of pain.

Damen purposefully made his breaths long and slow and when Laurent began mirroring them, he smiled.This was going to work, something even Damen hadn’t truly expected.

“Regret marrying me yet?” Laurent murmured.

“Never.”

“I told you to go fuck yourself yesterday.”Damen grimaced.That had been when he’d tried to get Laurent to eat something.He’d construed it as teasing at the time, to make himself feel better, but now, it was very obvious it hadn’t been.

“You’ve been stressed,” Damen said.“Besides, that’s not the cruelest thing you’ve said to me by far.”

“I shouldn’t be taking it out on you.Everyone but you.”

“Really, you shouldn’t take it out on anyone.”

“Yes, but that’s unrealistic,” Laurent replied.

Damen laughed and kissed Laurent’s shoulder.They were talking and Damen hadn’t even realized how much he missed it.He knew he missed the sex, but this, this kind of intimacy, was something he clearly took for granted.Having it back was like feeling the sun on his skin after the clouds blotted it out for a period of time.

“Since I haven’t asked,” Laurent began, “How has your week been?”

Damen laughed even louder at that and Laurent joined in, the steam from the water keeping the laughs enclosed in their space.When gasping for more breath, Laurent said, “That bad, was it?”And they laughed even harder, their bodies shaking together, the water slapping against the sides of the bath.Damen’s fingers had stilled in Laurent’s hair as he laughed, but when he finished, he resumed as though he hadn’t stopped.The hand was jostled away, however, when Laurent leaned away and turned, facing Damen.His fingers rose and rested against Damen’s jawline, gently tracing.

His eyes were asking: _Why are you so good to me?_ But he didn’t say the words out loud and Damen counted that as progress.Instead, Laurent said, “Thank you.Unbelievably, this is helping.”

“Who would’ve guessed?It’s as if I know you.” Damen teased.Despite the tone, they both sensed the weight of the word ‘know’.It wasn’t light or carefree or a commonplace usage of the word.It was all encompassing.Damen was claiming to know everything there was to know about Laurent and Laurent didn’t argue.

Instead, Laurent climbed onto his lap and kissed him.“Since we’re dying tomorrow,” he whispered.

Damen sighed.“We are not dying tomorrow and we’re also not talking about that.And not to be contrary, because I do like where this is heading, it’s also not a good reason to have sex.”

“Is wanting to a satisfactory reason for you?”

“Do we have any lubricant?”

“I don’t care.”

“I do, Laurent,” Damen said, “I don’t want sex to be painful for you.Ever.And water can make things extremely uncomfortable.”

Without a word, Laurent lifted himself off of Damen and out of the tub.On his way to the door, he grabbed Damen’s chiton and wrapped it around himself, likely soaking it.There was something to look forward to; walking back to his rooms in wet clothes.

Laurent was talking to the guard standing outside.Damen heard the guard walk away, but Laurent stayed by the door, waiting.It only took a couple of minutes before the guard had returned and Laurent was strolling back to the tub, vial in hand, chiton dropping to the floor.He climbed back in and pressed the vial into Damen’s chest.“Now we have lubricant.”

“Amazing.”Damen set it down next to the soaps.

“You’re enthusiastic,” Laurent drawled.

“Promise me you don’t want this because you think we’re going to die tomorrow.”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes,” Damen said.“I can’t encourage that train of thought.”

“My honorable barbarian makes an appearance.When was the last time we had sex, Damen?”

“A little over three weeks ago.”

“Quite a long time.”Then Laurent stared pointedly at Damen until Damen gave in, surging up to kiss Laurent, his hands splaying across his back, tugging him in closer.

Every touch was soft and tender, unhurried and expressive.Laurent was rutting against Damen as they kissed, Damen’s hands traveling down to his hips, thumbs pressing into the dip inside the hipbone.Laurent had his hands around Damen’s neck, but his fingernails weren’t digging in like they usually did.Instead, he was massaging, the pads of his fingers moving to the rhythm of his hips.

The water sloshed, spraying over the sides, scattering drops on the tiles and Laurent tilted his head back, giving Damen access to his neck.Bending over slightly, their chests flush and slippery with water, Damen licked a stripe from Laurent’s collarbone to the base of his jaw, tasting soap and salt.Then he kissed every inch sloppily and open-mouthed, leaving a bruise just above Laurent’s collarbone, unable to help himself.

Laurent shifted slightly so he could reach Damen’s shoulder, biting the skin there, while he extended a hand towards the oil.“Don’t leave,” Damen groaned, when Laurent lifted himself off his lap and out of the tub, perching on the edge of it.His arousal was strident and with bright eyes, he patted the tiles beside him. 

“This oil isn’t going to do much if I put it on while you’re in the water,” Laurent said, pouring it into his hands.Then, he slipped back into the water, shoved Damen’s knees apart and began stroking his cock, his mouth licking and biting Damen’s balls.Damen tipped his head back and took an unsteady breath, biting his lip to contain any noise.Noise that would surely echo and rebound around the entire room.

That earned Damen a none-too-gentle bite to his thigh and the retraction of Laurent’s hand.

Damen moaned pitifully and Laurent laughed, climbing back out of the water, directly into Damen’s lap.Water splashed everywhere, warm and welcome, beading and falling down Damen’s skin.Laurent reached behind himself, gripped Damen’s cock and then lowered himself onto it, his legs hooking loosely behind Damen’s back.Circling his arms around Damen’s neck, he leaned in and kissed him, punctuating the kiss with a slow roll of his hips.

“Are you going to get cold?” Damen asked, nonsensically.

“I don’t think I can get cold doing this,” Laurent laughed, turning the words even more breathless than they already would’ve been.

There were goosebumps on Laurent’s skin, however, and Damen rubbed his arms gently as they continued to kiss.Eventually, this irritated Laurent enough that he found the time to take Damen’s hands and place them on his hips.His lips fell to Damen’s neck and he murmured into it, “Help me.”

Using the strength in his arms and the leverage of Damen’s shoulders, Laurent began to lift himself up and down, Damen’s cock sliding in and out of tight heat.Damen understood and helped as best he could, the slaps of flesh against flesh echoing through the room, along with pants and moans he was barely aware he was making.

The pace became hurried and frantic and Damen held onto Laurent as Laurent held onto him, right onto and off the edge, Damen coming as he chanted Laurent’s name.Before his cock became flaccid, he pumped Laurent’s cock with leisure, letting his thumb pass over the head each time, smiling as he looked into the blue eyes that were glassed over from pleasure. 

“I’m going to…”His breath hitched and he came all over Damen’s fingers and stomach.Laurent didn’t climb off Damen when he was finished.Instead, he clutched closer to Damen, embracing him tightly, his eyes over Damen’s shoulder while he regained control. 

By the time Damen thought it likely he had that control back, Laurent still hadn’t moved.The position was growing uncomfortable, but not enough to do anything about it.This was rare.So rare, Damen wasn’t entirely sure it had ever happened before.Usually, Laurent had wiped them down by now and was busy touching Damen in only the most innocent ways.

Suddenly, a heart-stopping fear gripped Damen.He whispered, “Is the plan really that dangerous?”

“I don’t know.That’s the problem.I don’t know.”

“You can’t possibly always know what’s…”

Laurent cut him off swiftly.“No.I never know everything.But I always have a very good idea what’s likely to happen.That is untrue for this plan.”

“And it’s scaring you.”

“It’s not scaring you?”

“If you’re scared, I’m scared,” Damen murmured.“But, I believe in you and I believe in everyone else coming with us.If anyone can do this, it’s us.”

“We don’t know if the abandoned fort even exists.”

“I know,” Damen whispered.“What do you want me to say?”

Laurent shook his head and gripped Damen tighter.“Nothing.”

“I love you.”Damen let his forehead fall onto Laurent’s shoulder.

“And I love you,” Laurent replied.

“We should probably go and prepare for tomorrow.”

Laurent nodded and slipped off of Damen and into the tub.Quickly, he cleaned himself off, using the soap, and helped Damen do the same.They toweled down, stepped back into their clothes—Damen’s were still soaked and Laurent managed to find it funny, even in the midst of his anxiety—and went back to their rooms, ordering servants to pack and to find Jord and Nikandros, so they could get drunk.

 

They were on the road, heading from Marlas, towards the coast.The sun was a couple hours from setting and everyone was quiet, the only sounds coming from the horses clomping and snorting.Damen didn’t try and encourage conversation, because he knew Laurent would wait barely five seconds before he irritated everyone out of talking.Damen hadn’t seen Laurent this taut and intense since Arles.

The only thing that Laurent was confident of, was that Guion wouldn’t be stationed more than half a day’s ride away.He didn’t believe there was a point in moving all of those people and all of those resources, if it wasn’t to move close enough to conduct attacks frequently and quickly.That meant, when they reached the beach, they would all dismount, leave their horses, and walk.They couldn’t be discovered.No one was looking forward to the walking, except Laurent, who felt it was the only part of the plan where he could have control.

It wasn’t long before Damen saw the ocean and something in him settled.The cloud cover made it a deep green, but the waves crashing on the shore and the large expanse of water with no end in sight, reminded Damen of home, Akielos and it’s white shores and marble.Laurent reined his horse to a stand-still, ordered everyone to dismount, told Pallas and Lazar to carry the bags, and then turned his attention to the ocean.There was a small smile on his face and he whispered to Damen, “Fuck Marlas.Let’s live here.”

“Alright.It is beautiful, isn’t it?”

“I had no idea I loved the ocean this much.”

Nikandros came up behind them.“Neither of you are allowed to move anywhere without us.”

“And why is that?” Laurent asked.

“Because we like you, you bastard.”Nikandros paused, hands on his hips, and glanced around.“I could live here.Jord, what do you think?”

“It’s certainly peaceful.I think I could, too.We could become farmers,” Jord smirked, bumping Nikandros’ shoulder.

“Good luck farming in sand.And just because you like me, doesn’t mean I like you,” Laurent said.“I’m confident I didn’t invite you.”

Lazar groaned.“Stop living in a fantasy world.We’ve got a job to do.Let’s do it.”

“Clearly you’ve never lived in a fantasy world,” Laurent shot back.

“No.And neither have you, Your Highness.Not really.”

Laurent grumbled something to himself and then started walking down the beach, “Lazar’s right.We’ve got a long walk ahead of us.”Everyone followed, some complaining more than others.

The sight of the ocean had managed to distract all from their foul moods, making the walk much more pleasant than the ride had been.At one point, Jord had even run into the ocean, Nikandros following, and they’d tossed water and seaweed at each other.That had earned them a furious glare from Laurent, however, and so they hadn’t done it since.It was easy to forget in the lulling, rhythmic sounds of the ocean, that they were here for a purpose.

The walk was incredibly long.Damen’s calves were burning by the time the sun was on the verge of the horizon, the sky warm colors of orange and yellow.The sunset was distracting Nikandros, and Laurent had to frequently remind him to keep walking.The fourth time he asked, it didn’t work, and Laurent nodded at Jord, who sighed and nodded back, picking Nikandros up and slinging him over his back.

“Hey!” Nikandros shouted, “I can’t believe you’ve betrayed me.”

“Stop being dramatic.”

“Look at it, Jord.It’s incredible.I don’t see why we can’t stop for a moment and enjoy it.What if we all die and this is the last sunset we ever see.Wouldn’t you want to stop and actually look?”

“You’re still being dramatic.”

“I’m just saying.We shouldn’t pass this opportunity up.”

“Do you see an abandoned fort?” Laurent asked.“Anywhere?I’d prefer to find it before the sun sets.If we find it and the sun is still setting, I promise we can stop and look.Is that alright with you?”

Nikandros contemplated that, struggled in Jord’s arms until Jord dropped him, and said, “Then why the fuck aren’t we running?”And he took off.Damen laughed and turned to Jord, who was watching, his expression half affectionate, half amused. 

Nobody ran after him.They simply watched as his figure got smaller and smaller, as they walked.Laurent slowed and intertwined his fingers with Damen’s.He didn’t say anything, but it was enough.

Nikandros came running back, kicking up sand behind him.He hurtled to a stop directly in front of them and bent over, hands on his knees.He gasped, “There is a fort.And it’s just over that hill.”

Damen hadn’t noticed there was a rise in the beach, but there was one, the sand mostly disappearing, taken over by an outcrop of dirty, coarse grass.Beside him, Laurent tensed, but his eyes brightened.That was exactly how Damen felt.At least they hadn’t come for nothing, but now everything was about to get extremely difficult.Nikandros, on the other hand, had planted himself in the sand, eyes directed at the setting sun.Lazar glanced at Laurent, pained.A man of action didn’t sit and gaze at sunsets.

Laurent ran a hand through his hair, laughed shortly, and sat down beside Nikandros.“Sit.We have a tryst with a sunset.”

Groaning, Lazar sat, grabbed Pallas and pulled him down unceremoniously into his lap.Damen watched with a smile.Lazar was uninterested in the sunset, but there was still something he could distract himself with.Pallas seemed more than happy to oblige.They were about to kiss, when Damen asked, “Do you two talk?I’m curious.”

Lazar didn’t shift his gaze from Pallas.“No.Watch your goddamn sunset.”

Damen did as he was told, settling his head on Laurent’s shoulder.Laurent tensed in surprise, then relaxed, his fingers coming up to play with Damen’s hair.Jord plopped down beside Damen, their shoulders touching, and he smiled softly when their eyes met.It was strange.Damen was happy and he thought they were, too, but they were also all very aware what was coming and what might happen.A warmth in Damen’s chest swelled.He hadn’t loved anything quite as much as he loved this moment, these people, and this sunset.They all felt it.Jord reached down and laid his hand over Damen’s in the sand, squeezing it gently.

When the sun dipped below the horizon, taking most of the color with it, Laurent jostled Damen’s head away and stood.His face and voice were suddenly grave.“Let’s capture Guion’s son.”

They walked away from the beach and into the grass.The plan was to circle the fort and approach it from the back, in the ocean if they had to, and find a door.A door of any kind.Then Lazar would pick the lock, they would creep in, split up into groups of two, and search for Guion’s son, likely in a room at the top of the fort.Then, theoretically, they would check back in at the door they entered periodically, in case Guion’s son had been found and they were allowed to depart.Laurent didn’t want to spend long in the fort.

They did just that.It wasn’t long before they were wading into the ocean, the back of the fort on a small rise a few steps into the ocean.Scrambling up the rise, searching for hand holds in sharp rocks and poor moonlight, Nikandros kept up a long list of whispered and artful swears; ones that made Jord and Damen struggle to contain their laughter.

Laurent was already on top of the rise and searching the walls with careful hands for a door.When he found one, he whispered harshly to Lazar, who went to him and set to work, his ear next to the lock and his fingers twiddling.Nobody pushed him to hurry, as nobody particularly wanted to go inside.There was a small hope inside Damen that Lazar had overestimated his talents and they would have to abandon the plan.It was different to stave off assassination attempts in Marlas when one knew they had no other choice in the matter.

The door swung open and Lazar slipped inside, killing two guards almost silently.Damen heard one of the bodies hit the floor.Before anyone else entered, Laurent said, “The priority is Guion’s son.However, notice anything you can.Number of soldiers, supplies, eavesdrop on conversations, if there are any.Whatever other information we can discover will help.It’s entirely possible Guion and his son aren’t here.I don’t expect him to have all of his assets in one place.I know the rumors said he was here, but that was days ago.If he’s gone, he’s gone.Be careful and don’t die.”

“Easier said than done,” Nikandros grumbled, going through the door.Damen followed.

It appeared that they were in the kitchens.They were empty, but wouldn’t be for long.Candles were still lit and food was scattered over counters, waiting to be cleaned up.Laurent swore quietly and whispered, “Get in pairs.Jord, Nik, when you exit the kitchen, go left.Lazar, Pallas, right.Damen and I will go straight, unless there isn’t one, in which case, we’ll follow Lazar and Pallas.”

Nods all around.Then Laurent added, “And don’t kill any servants.Knock them out, but don’t kill them.They’re innocent.Now, go.”

Nobody argued.Jord and Nikandros were the first to skirt the edges of the kitchen and then disappear.Then Lazar and Pallas and then Damen and Laurent.It turned out there was a hallway that stretched ahead of the kitchen and Damen and Laurent took it.They exchanged glances, drawing their swords silently, and began searching for stairs.

Damen’s heart was pounding as they rounded corners, carefully, eyes always peeled, ears searching for any sounds that weren’t their footsteps.The first time they encountered guards, two of them, Laurent snuck up behind them and slit both of their throats without blinking.He motioned for Damen to catch one before he fell and Damen did, lowering him softly to the ground. 

It wasn’t long before they found a set of stairs and Laurent led the way up them.They continued to prowl the halls upstairs, carefully avoiding whatever guards they could, and killing the others.

Laurent motioned for Damen to cover him and he pressed his ear against a door.Apparently, he couldn’t hear anything, because he opened the door and peeked inside, before shutting it quickly.“Nothing,” he murmured, continuing down the hall.

The longer this lasted, the louder Damen’s heartbeat got and the more nauseous he became.He wasn’t known for his stealth.This plan was the exact opposite of his talents.Laurent seemed more than happy to compensate for him, but it left Damen shaky and scared about discovery.The only thing that helped was staring at the back of Laurent’s head and watching his braid swing back and forth.

They checked more rooms, Laurent disappearing into one, coming back with folded pieces of parchment, which he stuck into the neck of his jacket and, eventually, they came upon one that had four guards in front of it and was well lit.They stilled in the shadows and Laurent pulled Damen closer by the laces on his neck.

“Can you beat them?”

“What?”

“Can you distract those four guards while I go and see who is in that room,” Laurent clarified, the whisper managing to sound derisive.“Don’t overestimate your talents, please.”

“Why can’t we attack together?”

“It will be noisy and whoever is in that room will hear it and wake up.I would prefer if they didn’t have time to escape.Also, other guards will hear the noise and come running.The sooner we’re gone, the better.”

Damen glanced back at the guards and judged them.Two were half-asleep, their hands nowhere near their swords.The other two looked more alert.One even had his hand resting on the hilt of his sword.The alert ones were large as well, likely very dangerous.None of their armor, however, was actually useful, and their swords were likely of the same quality.Damen thought it was also likely they weren’t well trained.Not the way he had been trained.“I can handle them,” he whispered back.

“Good.Have at it, husband.”Laurent kissed his cheek and pushed him into the light.

The guards saw him immediately and stared in surprise.The alert ones were recovering quickly, however, and Damen sprung into action, quickly dispatching the two who had no idea what was happening.Then he prepared for an actual fight, facing off against the others.Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of yellow hair disappearing into the room.

That was when two very bad things happened.There was a scream from inside the room that was muffled too late and the guards ended up being better at fighting than Damen anticipated.It wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle, but then he heard the pounding of footsteps of more guards running towards them, likely because of the scream. 

Swearing, Damen doubled down and dispatched the larger one with a sword to the stomach.He had to duck the other’s sword, while he wrenched his own out from the dead weight.By the time he’d killed that one, he was swarmed with five more guards. 

That was when Laurent appeared, his arms full with Guion’s son.He met Damen’s eye, his own wide and terrified.They were asking: _Should I let him go?_

Damen shook his head.He said, “I can handle this.Get back to the door.I’ll follow.”

“If you’re lying to me…”

“Go, Laurent.They won’t kill me.”Which was true.He was too valuable a prisoner to kill.But he intended to make it out of this alive and not captured.Laurent stayed and stared for awhile longer, until a guard turned to face him and then he left.

Heaving in breaths, Damen killed another and another.There were three left and more slamming footsteps.This wasn’t going to end quickly.

The footsteps brought five more guards and Damen realized he wasn’t as in control as he’d thought.

 

Nikandros and Jord were waiting by the door.It had been slightly longer than they’d agreed to, but nobody was back yet.Nikandros’ mind was racing.He and Jord had encountered a number of guards, but mostly lots of empty rooms and no staircases.He wanted the others to be back by now.He wanted to leave.Now that he was here, waiting, he understood all of Laurent’s misgivings.Of course, creeping through the halls, silently executing men, had been thrilling at the time.In fact, Nikandros hadn’t had that much fun in a long time.

It was no longer fun.

Jord was holding his hand.They were both sweating profusely.

“What if they’re all dead?” he murmured.He couldn’t help asking it or thinking it.It was the only thing that mattered.

“They’re not,” Jord murmured.“I have to believe that.”

There were footsteps and Nikandros lifted his sword.It was a maid, looking to clean the kitchen.He’d been expecting it and so his motions were fast, as he knocked the pommel of his sword against the woman’s head.She fell into his arms and he laid her gently on the floor, brushing hair from her face.

More footsteps.Out of the shadows came Pallas and Lazar.They didn’t have Guion’s son either.Lazar was soaked in blood.Jord raised his eyebrows questioningly.

“One of the kills got ugly and the bastard landed on top of me.”

“It suits you,” Nikandros said.

Lazar sneered.

Pallas said, “Where are Damen and Laurent?”

“Not back yet.”

More waiting.It was more uncomfortable, now.Nikandros hardly knew Lazar and Pallas was a good soldier, but a quiet one.They’d never properly bonded.It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them, but he thought his half-hearted jokes would fall flat in this crowd.

That was when Laurent appeared.His face was splattered with blood and his hair was mussed.It was the most out-of-control Nikandros had ever seen him.But he was holding Guion’s son, struggling to keep him contained.Lazar moved to help, cutting his knees out from under him and holding him to the ground.Sharply, Nikandros said, “Where is Damen?”

Laurent ran a hand across his forehead and murmured, “Fighting.It got complicated.He should be fine.He said he’d be fine.”

It wasn’t reassuring.Nor was it meant to be.Laurent was far from okay.Nikandros was surprised that he actually noticed.Generally, he looked the same as he always did, everything tense, eyes stone, but he was sending off waves of anxiety and fear.And when he thought people weren’t looking, his eyes transformed into something terrifying.Nikandros had no idea what it was and he didn’t want to find out.

They waited and waited and waited.Laurent grew more and more tense, until it looked as though one movement from him would shatter the entire room into a million pieces. 

Softly, Jord said, “We need to go, Laurent.At least get Guion’s son away from here.He’s the only leverage we have.We can’t lose him now and the longer we stay here, the more dangerous it gets.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“I think he lost, Laurent.I don’t think he’s going to come.”

When the words left Jord’s mouth, it was obvious.Adrenaline spiked and Nikandros forced himself not to bolt out of the kitchen and scream for Damen, not to sprint down halls and kill whoever got in his way.He got the sense Laurent was struggling with the same thing.

“They won’t kill him, will they?” Nikandros asked.

“No,” Jord replied.“If they keep him alive, he could be exactly what they need.They can use him to tear all of Verlos to the ground.He’s alive.”

“A little longer,” Laurent murmured.

“Laurent, Jord’s right,” Lazar said gruffly.“It’s time to go.”

That was when Laurent finally looked at them and Nikandros took an involuntary step back.He was looking into the eyes of a man who would burn cities, kill children, massacre innocent people, just to get Damen back.In a low voice with no inflection, Laurent said, “You can go.I’m staying and I’m finding him.”

“You’ll die,” Jord said.

Nikandros said, “Laurent, think.I’m not okay with this either.What can we do that isn’t suicidal?”

“There’s nothing we can do,” Jord whispered to Nikandros.“We need to get him out of here before he breaks, because when he does, I don’t want him in this fort.He’ll kill himself.Help me get him out of here.”

What was he supposed to do?Nikandros racked his brain and then landed on the stupidest idea he’d ever had, but it might work.It might get Laurent to stop and actually think, something he was not doing right now.Nikandros sighed, folded his hand into a fist, and said to Jord, “If he kills me, do you promise to mourn me?”

“Of course,” Jord said, seriously, but with a small smile.

Nikandros nodded and stepped towards Laurent, not hesitating, knowing that hesitation would give Laurent enough information to predict and evade.He slammed his fist into Laurent’s face, hard.

Laurent’s head snapped to the side and his lip began to bleed.Lazar stared open-mouthed at Nikandros and then he grinned.“That was impressively stupid,” he said.

When Laurent recovered, he seared Nikandros with his eyes.Jord came to stand beside him, grasping his hand, giving him something to hold onto.Carefully, Nikandros said, “Did that snap you out of your suicidal mood?Think.Damen has told me you’re the best.Think us a way out.You know magic tricks, right?”

That confused Laurent enough that his eyes grew thoughtful instead of angry.“Why does that matter?” Jord asked.

“Because that’s what we need,” Nikandros said.“We need a magic trick.”


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WILL FIX JORD SLAMMING HIS HANDS. PROMISE. I thank all of you for pointing it out, though. You'd think I'd be able to remember dismembering my own character....anyways I made a point of making him one-handed this chapter to make up for it. I probably fucked up anyway, though.  
> Your comments were lovely, THANK YOU. Thank you all for reading and sticking with this story. It's been a while now.  
> Enjoy the chapter! Hahahahahahahahah  
> haha

“That’s grotesquely oversimplified,” Laurent said, the line of his mouth hard.Nikandros glanced at Jord hopefully.This had to be a good sign.He’d replied to something that wasn’t directly about Damen.He’d insulted Nikandros.Not only did it demonstrate that he was thinking, it brought a sense of normalcy to the group.When Laurent was at his best, one sentence insults were his expertise.It was nice to see that his punch had bore fruit of some kind, because it was likely Nikandros would be punished for it.No one bruised Laurent’s fine skin and got away with it.Unless that person was Damen, but Damen was the exception to every one of Laurent’s rules, so that couldn’t be counted as a surprise.

Jord glanced back meaningfully when Laurent stared beyond them, quiet and seemingly controlled.Nikandros couldn’t help but watch in awe and with a healthy amount of fear.A person who could muster this amount of control over their body and thoughts was practically inhuman.Nikandros understood they had to leave, but even he was struggling with the insane notion of attempting to rescue Damen futilely.It was only Jord’s hand holding his tightly that kept him from doing just that.Laurent didn’t have a hand to hold; Laurent didn’t have his Jord.But he wasn’t screaming for Damen or sinking to the floor; he was simply thinking.

It took noticeably longer than normal for him to reach a decision.Slowly and with visible effort, Laurent said, “We need to move.Lazar, Pallas, keep Guion’s son under control and get off the beach.Then we start walking back the way we came.I’ve arranged for horses to be brought for us.Eventually, we’ll spot them.”

“But…” Nikandros began.

Laurent turned to him, eyes burning.“Don’t speak and do as I say.”

That was the last thing Nikandros wanted to hear.Bristling, breaching Laurent’s space, Nikandros said, “I just want an explanation for…”But before he could finish, Jord tugged urgently on his hand, pulling him away from Laurent and towards the door that would let them back out into the ocean.

“Stop,” Jord whispered.“This is the best we can hope for.Don’t make him change his mind.”

“But we don’t even know what he’s thinking.”After a pause, Nikandros murmured, “It’s Damen, Jord.”

Jord stopped and turned to him, gripping his left shoulder tightly, his other arm dangling uselessly by his side.“And do you think Laurent is capable of making any choices right now that don’t revolve around the safety of Damen?Damen is all Laurent has, in a very real and terrifying sense.”

Sighing, Nikandros nodded.He’d already known that, of course, but it was still hard to force himself to exit the fort without Damen beside him.Laurent barreled past them, his shoulder bumping hard into Nikandros’ and he said, “We don’t have time for romantic interludes.Move.”Nikandros watched Laurent go through the door and out into the night.He could feel Jord watching him, eyes pleading, and he took a deep breath, gathering strength from the sight of Laurent doing the very thing he couldn’t.Reaching up, Nikandros took Jord’s hand and they walked together towards the door.Right before they departed, Nikandros whispered, “We will get you out of here, Damen.And I will protect both Verlos and Laurent.I promise.”

The water was as cold as it had been on the way in, but now it was uncomfortable and irritating.The chill wasn’t laced with excitement and purpose.It simply exacerbated his mood.

When they were all firmly on land, Lazar and Pallas efficiently tied Guion’s son up and then dumped him onto the ground unceremoniously.He was younger than Nikandros anticipated.Well into his twenties, but no older than thirty.There was a gag in his mouth, his chest was heaving, and he was glaring impressively at all of them.Nikandros thought he was trying to goad one of them into a fight, which was possibly stupid, but Nikandros remembered why Guion had picked this son to work with; he was cleverer than Guion.If he was even half as clever as Laurent, it would be best if the gag stayed in his mouth.Perhaps Pallas and Lazar did not reach the same conclusions—Lazar even looked willing to fight—but without conscious agreement, they all turned and gazed at Laurent—their leader and their anchor—who was watching the proceedings impassively.He didn’t acknowledge their attention, but said, “I said to walk, didn’t I?”

So they did.Nikandros turned back often, walking backwards for a time, staring at the slowly retreating fort.It was barely a speck on the horizon when Nikandros finally broke.Damen was still in that fort and there was no direct evidence that they were doing anything to change that.Jord sensed the shift in Nikandros, but he didn’t say anything.Taking that as tacit permission, Nikandros said, “Laurent, stop.Tell me what the fuck you are thinking.Tell me that this is somehow getting Damen out of there, because if it’s not, I’m turning back around and coming up with a plan by myself.”

“I’m giving you your magic trick.”

“How? Tell me how.I’m sorry, but I can’t read your mind.”

Laurent continued walking.Nikandros stared at his back and contemplated where he would stick the knife.How did Damen stand him?

Jord squeezed his hand and then dropped it, fast-walking until he was even with Laurent.Cautiously, giving Laurent ample time to slap his hand away, Jord placed it on his shoulder.“You owe us an answer, Laurent.He’s our friend…you’re our friend.We are all here for you.Let us be, please.”

That got him to stop walking.Turning slowly, he peered at everyone’s faces.It was strangely bestial, the way he shifted his head as he did so, as if scanning them for weaknesses or scenting the air for trouble.However disconcerting, it did cement something for Nikandros.Laurent was relearning how to act, how to be human, because he no longer had Damen to depend on and guide him.If Nikandros wasn’t already heartbroken, he would be now.

No words were forthcoming.Nobody moved, but in the stillness, Nikandros did notice that Laurent’s hands were shaking, the only obvious loss of control.Nikandros didn’t want to know what was going on inside his mind.

“Do you trust me?” Laurent murmured.

Jord, Lazar, and Pallas nodded.Laurent peered up from beneath his lashes at Nikandros.Nikandros stared back, mystified.Surely, he knew.But, then, he wouldn’t have asked.Of course he trusted Laurent.Their relationship hadn’t ever been conventional, but they were friends and Nikandros trusted his friends.Laughing shortly, he said, “Of course I trust you, you complete and utter bastard.”

Inhaling sharply, Laurent replied, “I need…I need you to wait for an explanation.I can’t talk about it right now.”Seeing the inquiring glance from Jord, Laurent continued with, “I just can’t.”And then he kept walking, his head determinedly forward.Nikandros was sure he hadn’t looked at the fort since they’d departed it.For a moment, the four of them watched Laurent, his ivory and gold coloring quickly fading into shadow.Only then did they follow, heads hanging and silence reigning.

 

Damen woke to water dripping down his face and spilling all over his chest and lap.Spluttering, he opened his eyes in a rush and took in his surroundings.It was dark, lit by very few candles, and there were no windows.It felt small, though he really couldn’t be sure.The person standing in front of him was hidden in shadow.Damen flexed against his bonds, testing their strength, and found them to be adequate.If he had time, he could probably work his way out, but it would hurt.

“Guion?” he said.He hoped it was Guion.Damen owed him a few choice words as well as a few choice punches.Reluctantly, he had to admit he was probably at a disadvantage, however, and wouldn’t be throwing punches anytime soon.

The person didn’t reply, just observed.Damen could care less.He was trying to remember what had happened.There had been too many soldiers, that much he could recall, and someone had definitely knocked him out, judging by where he was now.Had Laurent gotten away with Guion’s son?Filtering through blurry images, Damen decided that he had and breathed a sigh of relief.

A sigh of relief that quickly transformed into panic.Laurent would do something stupid.That was almost definitely a guarantee.Hopefully, someone managed to talk him down.Jord might be capable of it.

That was when Guion chose to step in the light, the wrinkles in his face capturing the shadows, making him look older than he truly was.He was wearing simple robes and Damen almost laughed despite his situation.They’d clearly woken Guion up and he was clearly disgruntled about it.Relaxing in the chair, Damen watched him lazily.He held onto that laughter because, if it looked like he was panicking—which he definitely was—he would lose any sort of advantage.

With a sneer, Guion said, “They left without you.You’re here alone and they’re not coming to get you.”

It just proved how little Guion knew about him, how outmatched he was.His words eased all of the anxiety in Damen.Someone had talked Laurent down and were getting Guion’s son away from here.As long as Laurent was safe, Damen was fine.Verlos was less important.Damen was smart enough to understand that Verlos was still at considerable risk.He was the key for making it fall.

The question became, should he play a role?And if so, what role?

Then Damen scattered those thoughts.It was how Laurent would think, the way he would analyze.Damen’s strength was honesty and he’d learned over the years to never abandon his strengths.That was the only place he could maintain any sort of control, let alone gain some.

“Good,” he said, meeting Guion’s gaze.

That caught him off guard.“I bet he leaves you here to rot,” Guion said, “That would be so like him.Get everything he wants, then toss the extraneous tools away.He probably didn’t expect to get this lucky.”

Damen rolled his eyes.“You were at the trial, Guion.You know better than most of Verlos that that isn’t true.”Seeing the wince at the name was almost worth getting captured for.“He may have left, but I promise you, the only thing on his mind is getting me away from you.Now, do you want something or can you leave me alone?I find your threats to be exhausting and idiotic.”

“You sound a bit like him.”

“I’m sorry if I’m not being polite, but I did get knocked out and I’m not where I want to be.Besides, I promised myself the next time I saw you, I’d kill you.It’s not helping that I can’t right now.”

“Tell me, how far would he be willing to go to ensure your safety?”

Damen laughed.“You’re not very good at this, are you?I think that’s maybe a conversation you should have with him.He does have your son after all.Your eldest.What was his name, again?I’m afraid I’ve forgotten.”

Guion glared and then quickly switched into a nonchalant stance, shrugging.“You’re right.There’s no point talking to you, when it’s him I should be talking to.”He turned and walked out of the room, murmuring something to someone outside.The someone turned out to be two someones, one woman, one man, both large with mean eyebrows.What once would’ve caused a twist of apprehension in Damen’s stomach, no longer did.Whatever pain these two brutes could deal, he’d had worse, thanks to his own husband.Steeling his muscles, Damen met their eyes and smiled grimly.

 

Pallas had been the one to spot their horses riding towards them.Whatever mood Laurent was in—Nikandros still had no idea—he quickly transformed it to something more sociable.Hailing the riders to stop, he even managed to smile and thank them.Despite the incongruity of Laurent’s behavior, Nikandros did think the riders deserved that smile.They’d be walking back.It would likely take them a full day.Nikandros was simply glad that wasn’t them.

Blissfully, the ride felt short.The tense atmosphere had all but disappeared.Not because the situation was any less grave, but because they were all tired of thinking of it, tired of thinking what had to be done, and tired of being without Damen.He was the only thing that held these disparate parts—people—together.

When they reached Marlas, Laurent beckoned for Nikandros to follow him.Then, over his shoulder, he said “And anyone else that wants to come.”They all ended up walking after him and into his rooms.There was a moment, standing by the door, where Laurent stopped, Nikandros almost barreling into him.Jord glanced sidelong at Nikandros, eyes a window to his heart breaking for Laurent.

Laurent stood there for a full minute.After that, he straightened his shoulders, which Nikandros hadn’t even noticed falling, and strode fully into the room, sitting down on a low couch beside the doors to the balcony.Without a word, everyone else grabbed chairs and dragged them over, so that they were sitting in a circle around Laurent.Truly, he was the center of Nikandros’ world at the moment.The words that came out of Laurent’s mouth now were the ones that were going to keep Nikandros tied to sanity or the ones that would send him into despair.Whether the despair would manifest in tears or anger or stony silence, Nikandros was unsure.

Laurent stared at the ground, took a deep breath, and then began.“You said you wanted a magic trick.That’s what I’m giving you.I’m doing the exact opposite of what Guion expects me to do, which would be to deny him everything he wants and march on that fort or wherever else he flees to.This, of course, puts thousands of people at risk, whether in battle or in retaliations on villages, but he knows that I do not care. 

“But, unfortunately for him, we have his son.I happen to know that he cares deeply for his safety.However, no matter what we do, a simple switch for Damen is not going to satisfy him.He’s aware of the upper hand he has and he won’t give it up, not even for his son.What his son does provide for us, though, is the ability to bring him to the table.If I ask him to negotiate, he will.That draws him out.We will bring our army and he’ll bring his, because neither one of us trusts the other.And then we will fight.Both of us will know what’s coming, but he won’t avoid it, because he knows I will kill his son and, despite all of that, he has to fight for the chance to save him.It’s a battle we can win.We have superior numbers and troops.”

Nikandros pondered the plan.Essentially, it was waiting for everything to unfold naturally, something that wouldn’t have worked if they didn’t have Guion’s son.Nikandros couldn’t imagine what the plan would be if they’d lost Damen and hadn’t captured the son. 

Working through all the parts in his mind, Nikandros said, “But, if we fight…”

“Any negotiations fall through and we won’t have Damen back,” Jord finished.

“Are you saving Verlos and not him?” Nikandros growled.Jord laid the stump of his arm on Nikandros’ thigh, withdrew it momentarily, and then put it back, more firmly.Despite the self-consciousness about the stump, it was a very clear message to stand down and give Laurent time to explain.

Eventually, quietly, he said, “I’m trying to save both.”Laurent’s hands were balled into white-knuckled fists and his lips were thinner than Nikandros had ever seen them.It was the last thing Laurent wanted to do.Somehow, it caught Nikandros by surprise, how little Laurent cared about Verlos and how obvious it was.

Which meant this was about Damen.Nikandros tried to imagine what he would say about this situation and, without effort, Damen’s voice crept in: _You have to try.We’ve been fighting for Verlos too long.Don’t throw it away just yet.They won’t try and kill me until after the negotiations are through.That gives you time and, besides, I’m harder to kill than anyone imagines._

Laurent was doing this for Damen.Because he knew that Verlos to Damen was only second to Laurent, that if Laurent didn’t exist, nothing else would matter.In a burst of warmth, Nikandros understood in a way he hadn’t previously, just how much Laurent loved Damen.

Pallas mustered a polite tone when he said, “I don’t want to pretend I understand fully, but I’m still unclear how this plan manages to even attempt to save Damen.”

Laurent nodded.“That’s because I haven’t said.I have plants in Guion’s direct household, as he likely does in mine.As long as Guion is with Damen, which is a safe bet, because it’s the one thing he can’t afford to lose, then I can get a message to Damen.I can tell him the entire plan and I can prepare him.While it’s not a guarantee, it’s enough to tip any fight in his favor.

“Beyond that, we will also send men to help Damen, before the negotiations fall through, so they are there to help immediately.Untie bonds, stop a stray sword, etcetera.”

“How exactly are you planning on accomplishing that?” Lazar said.

“Playing dress up.”

“But,” Jord said, “If Guion knows the battle is coming and knows he’s going to lose, why risk it?His son can’t be worth a complete loss.”

“He’ll think he can still destroy me.He’s got the one thing I need most.If Damen’s gone, he thinks I’ll fall apart.”

Nikandros thought that wasn’t entirely ridiculous of Guion to assume, but he didn’t say anything.The plan, after all, was trying to ensure that didn’t happen.

The plan was as preposterous as any plan Laurent devised.It was alarming, brazen, risky, and it could end in the death of his best friend, but Nikandros had witnessed this before.He’d watched Laurent plan, sometimes improvising on the spot, and not a single plan had been foiled.It was because he was unpredictable and adaptable that he’d stayed alive so long.What it came down to was trust and Nikandros trusted Laurent.Not only that, he trusted that Laurent needed Damen to live and that he wouldn’t suggest the plan if the risk were large.It was dishonorable in every sense of the word, something that disturbed him slightly, but it had the promise to save everything, to end the most influential opposition to Damen and Laurent’s reign; the single bastion, that once destroyed, would mark the slow demise of the rest of the walls, without hope of resurrection.

“I’m with you,” Nikandros declared.Laurent’s head snapped in his direction and Nikandros thought he almost smiled.The line being crossed by someone, the others quickly followed suit, agreeing to the plan and anything they could do to help.

Then, yawning, Lazar excused himself, citing that it was past dawn and he should’ve been sleeping hours ago.Pallas joined him.Despite the swimming of his head and the scratchiness of his eyes, Nikandros stayed.Jord did because he did.

Together, they watched Laurent, who slumped the minute Pallas and Lazar left and the door was closed.Nikandros knew it was nowhere near the loss of control that would happen once he and Jord left, but it was distinctly rewarding to see more than Pallas and Lazar did.With wary eyes, Laurent stared back at them and then raised himself from the chair, gingerly, as if he were an old man, and poured himself a glass of water.

“I know you don’t want company,” Jord said, “But I’m worried about you, Laurent.I’d prefer not to leave you alone right now.”

“Your preferences are not my concern.I insist you leave.Sleep.”

Neither Jord nor Nikandros moved.

Laurent sipped some water, leaned back against the table, and appraised them without concern.“I haven’t forgotten that you punched me, Nikandros.If you leave now, I’ll consider being lenient in the punishment.”

Nikandros sighed.“I don’t care what you do to me, Laurent.You’re my friend and I want to make sure that you don’t hurt yourself or others.That’s more important to me than my own safety.I know you’re not okay and that I can’t expect you to be, but I want to be here if you decide you need me.”Nikandros was proud of himself.He’d managed to leave off any and all biting remarks that had been on the tip of his tongue.What came out was honest, however much it pained him to admit any such thing to Laurent, of all people.

“I don’t need either of you.”It sounded all-encompassing.Nikandros knew it was meant to sound like that, meant to hurt.

“But…” Jord began.

Laurent cut him off with a raised hand.“If you don’t leave, I will no longer trust you.And that is not a position either of you want to be in.”

Jord stood.Nikandros followed his lead, albeit reluctantly.He made sure to glare at Laurent so he knew how dissatisfying this was.As they headed out of the room, Jord said, “If you do need us, please ask, Laurent.Please.”

Then they left, holding hands.The moment the door shut behind them, Jord slumped into Nikandros’ side.His voice was unlike anything Nikandros had heard from him.It was beyond weary and beyond sad.“I can’t leave him.”

“What do you propose?”

Jord slipped out of his riding jacket and balled it up, using his leg to help him maneuver it.Then he dropped to the floor on the other side of the hall, across from the door.Falling sideways, he rested his head on the jacket and shut his eyes.

Nikandros didn’t know how this solved anything or how it meant that they were with Laurent, but he dropped to the floor beside Jord nonetheless.When he did, Jord opened his eyes and smiled softly.

“So,” Nikandros said, “This has officially been the worst night of my life.”

Thankfully, Jord laughed.Not his full-belly laugh, but it was enough.“Me as well,” he responded.“How do you think Damen is doing?”

Nikandros smiled.“I’m sure he’s being polite to everyone except Guion, brainstorming an escape plot, and silently begging Laurent not to do anything stupid.In other words, normal.”

“My hand is underneath me, so I’m sorry about this,” Jord murmured.He rested his bandaged stump against Nikandros’ face.“Are you alright?”

Nikandros nuzzled into the stump and rested his hand over the top of it, holding it closer.“That seems like a stupid question,” he responded.

“With Laurent, yes.With you, it’s an invitation to talk to me.”

“I’m not alright, no.I’m worried about Damen and I’m worried about Laurent and I’m worried about this plan.I just want everything to be simple.Do you ever wish we hadn’t gotten wrapped up in this?”

Jord shook his head.“I would do anything for Laurent.”

“And I for Damen,” Nikandros sighed.“They’re ridiculous, aren’t they?”

Jord laughed softly.“You didn’t see them fall in love.It’s worse than you’re imagining.”

Nikandros closed his eyes and let his head fall into the crook of his arm.Within seconds, he felt darkness infringing and only Jord sliding his arm down Nikandros’ face to his neck woke him back up, the soft slide of skin on skin sending tingles of warmth to every part of his body.“Hmm?” he mumbled.

“At least kiss me goodnight.”It sounded more like: _At least I didn’t lose you._

“Come and get it.”

“I don’t want to move.”

“Neither do I.”

Jord mumbled something under his breath, then closed the distance between them and kissed Nikandros gently, lips slightly parted.“I love you.Sleep well.”

“Yes, I’m going to sleep well on the floor of a busy hallway in the middle of Marlas.”

Jord laughed, the sound slowly trailing off, until it became long breaths.“I love you,” Nikandros murmured, before doing the same.

 

Nikandros was woken by a boot to his side.It wasn’t just a nudge, but an actual kick.It was going to bruise, that much he was sure of.“Fuck,” he grumbled, opening his eyes.“Oh, it’s you.I should’ve known.”Laurent was standing above him, the corners of his mouth turned down.

Jord startled awake, reaching for a dagger in his boot, and then saw Laurent and collapsed back to the floor.Throwing his arm over his eyes, he mumbled, “What time is it?”

“Midday,” Laurent said.“You two are not wasting this day sleeping and neither am I.Nikandros, I need you to make battle plans.”Laurent threw a map down on his chest.“This outlines where the negotiations will be conducted.Since we don’t have Damen, it’s up to you, as it’s not my forte.Jord, I want you to organize the specifics.That is not Nikandros’ forte.”

Before either could get out a word, Laurent was walking away.Jord looked like he was about to protest, but he didn’t need to.Laurent stopped and glanced at them over his shoulder.“I’m about to send off the message for Damen.Is there anything either of you would like to say?”

“That’s considerate of you,” Nikandros replied.

“So, no.” 

“Wait,” Nikandros said.Laurent kept walking.“Laurent, goddammit, wait.Tell him that he’d better fucking live or I will murder him in our next life.”

Jord said, “Did you sleep?”

“You want me to ask Damen if he’s slept?” Laurent said.

Jord sighed and watched Laurent disappear around a corner.Then his grey eyes focused on Nikandros and he held out a hand for the map.Nikandros gave it to him and watched as he examined it, running a finger in a circle around wherever they were meeting Guion, theoretically.Nikandros supposed Guion hadn’t actually agreed to anything yet, however sure Laurent seemed.In a whisper, Jord said, “He didn’t sleep.”

“How do you know?”

“He’s written messages and he’s managed to outline the pros and cons of this location in the margins.He’s thought about this long and hard.”Jord sighed.“Why is he incapable of taking care of himself?”

“I think he just has different standards.”

That was not the answer Jord wanted to hear.He deflated and said, “Why won’t he let us help him?Why only Damen?”

“Do we know that he lets Damen help?”

Jord shrugged.“I assume he does.I suppose I don’t actually know.Damen must be the most patient person in the world.How much does he have to give before he gets anything in return?”

“A lot.I think Laurent is worth it, though.”

Nodding, Jord fell into Nikandros, who was sitting against the wall.Nikandros held him tightly, running fingers across the short hair at Jord’s temple.Then he bent and kissed it.“Come on,” he whispered at the cusp of Jord’s ear.He felt Jord shiver in his arms.“We should do as Laurent asked before he comes back and kicks me again.”

“He kicked you?”

“Very hard.”

“Probably shouldn’t have punched him.”

“Oh, did you have a better idea?”

Jord smiled softly.“No.It was very brave of you, darling.”He kissed Nikandros on the cheek and Nikandros grinned, ridiculously pleased.It didn’t even matter that Jord was technically teasing him.Hand in hand, they walked to a small meeting room and poured over a map, Nikandros brainstorming and Jord listing out an inventory.

 

When he left Jord and Nikandros, Laurent mindlessly walked to the gardens outside of Marlas and sat on the ground in the shade of a leafy tree.He was unsure of it’s name.For some reason, that seemed to matter to him, and he considered it for a while, trying to remember.It was a common tree in both Akielos and Vere.

It lingered in the back of his mind, but he knew he wasn’t going to arrive at an answer, so he set to writing the message to Damen in his head.He couldn’t actually put it on paper, as that could be found and read by anybody.

It proved difficult.Laurent’s mind was sluggish and unfocused.Realistically, Laurent knew why, but there was nothing he could do about it.He missed Damen, desperately, in a way he’d never missed anything before.Not even Auguste.There was something about knowing he could come back, but that he might not.It had never been possible for Auguste to return.

After an hour, he had a message formulated.He called for a trustworthy messenger and while he was waiting, he thought of Jord’s face when he’d realized Laurent hadn’t slept the night before.Bending over, Laurent placed his head in his hands.He knew he was hurting them and he knew he could trust them, but it was hard without Damen.Everything was hard without Damen.

That hadn’t used to be true, and with every moment that passed, Laurent selfishly wished he’d never met Damen, just to avoid this…this indescribable pain.

Laurent was aware that he was barely holding every fragmented piece of himself together.He found himself thankful for his past, because it had taught him the strength of will he needed for this moment, when everyone needed him to stay sane, to make decisions, all in order to save Damen’s life. Laurent had forgotten what it was like to do everything alone, to not have someone there to pick him up when he fell and to cover for him when it was all too much.He shouldn’t have let Damen do that, because now, he was dangerously close to going insane.

When he heard footsteps, Laurent lifted his head and swiftly removed all emotion from his face.A delicate young woman came around the corner and smiled gently, whispering, “Your Highness.”Laurent got the distinct impression that she was very good at being invisible.She would do nicely.

“I’d like you to take a message to Arla.Do not get caught.Tell her to reach Damen, however she can, at risk to her own life if necessary, so that she can tell him this: we still have Guion’s son and we intend to meet at a neutral location and negotiate for his release.I am attempting to save Verlos, something Guion won’t allow, so there will be a battle and people will try and kill him the moment negotiations fall through.There should be people there to help him, but he’ll need to be prepared for an attack.I will be fighting my damnedest to get to him.

“Add that Nikandros would like to say that if Damen dies, he will murder him in the next life.And…” Laurent paused, glancing up at the girl through his lashes.This wasn’t typically something he would tell just anyone, but it felt like Damen deserved to know.Besides, Laurent was having trouble containing his thoughts like he usually could.“Tell him I love him,” he whispered.Quickly, “That is all.Go now.”

She curtsied and hurried away.He’d sent a message to Guion, he’d sent a message to Damen, Jord and Nikandros were working on battle plans, and he’d attended to most of his and Damen’s normal duties.There was nothing else he had to do, which was a relief, because he no longer needed his brain to be functional.Seamlessly, he shut down everything but instinct.He was hungry and tired. 

Standing, he returned to his rooms, eyes sightless.He called for food and ate, barely noticing what it was he put in his mouth, and then curled up in bed. 

Unbidden, a small spring burst through the walls and it quickly grew into a river and then a flood.It happened fast enough that Laurent couldn’t regain control.He could still smell Damen on his pillow and if wrapped the sheets around him just right, he could imagine Damen embracing him.He felt incredibly alone.As alone as he’d felt when he was fifteen.

That was when there was a knock on the door.Then Jord’s voice crept through the door.“We’ve finished what you asked.Let us know if there is anything else you’d like us to do.”Laurent could hear the plea in his voice.It was likely he’d still feel alone if Nikandros and Jord were in the room with him, but there was no harm in trying, because Laurent felt like punching a wall and torturing Guion’s son within an inch of his life.If nothing else, they could prevent him from doing that, because the pragmatic side of his brain understood neither of those things were a good idea.

Shutting his eyes briefly, Laurent pulled himself from bed and walked to the door, opening it.Jord and Nikandros were up against the wall again.It was a long time before the sun would even set and he couldn’t imagine they were really going to sleep there again, not when they had comfortable beds, but they were there now.When Jord heard the door open, his head snapped up.Nikandros tried to smile, but it ended up being a grimace.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” he directed at Nikandros.

“Yes?”

“You need practice.”Laurent stared at them and they stared back.With a heavy sigh, he said, “Well, come in, before I change my mind.”

Jord rose in a rush and Nikandros followed more warily.Jord went right by.Unwisely, Nikandros stopped in front of him.Laurent raised an eyebrow at him.He expected a quip or something vaguely insulting, but instead Nikandros met his eyes and Laurent saw a depth of emotion he hadn’t realized Nikandros was capable of.Softly, he whispered, “I know how you feel.”

And Laurent believed him.

 

Someone was trying to get his attention.Somewhere, deep in his brain, Damen understood that.There was a clucking noise and something pinching his arm, but that was only a fraction of the pain he’d been dealt over the past day and so it was easy to ignore.Only when he heard Laurent’s name did he open his eyes.

It was an older woman, dressed in clothes typically associated with a servant of some kind.There was nothing in her hands.For the life of him, Damen couldn’t comprehend what she was doing here.There were no towels, no needles, no pastes or oils.He shifted in his chair to appraise her more accurately, sucking in a short breath as he did so.“Who are you?” he murmured.

Her eyes were sad.“I have a message for you.”

“What is it?”Damen managed to snap his brain back into focus.It allowed a lot of the pain a channel back, but he knew this was important.This was something he had to remember.He’d heard Laurent’s name and now there was a message.Somehow, Laurent had gotten to him.

She relayed the words she’d been told.When she finished with Laurent’s personal message, Damen strained against his bonds.There was no sense in escaping now, as it would only ruin the plan that Laurent had developed, which was too bad, because they were close to breaking.But it was hard to relax when he thought of just how much Laurent was suffering right now.If only he hadn’t been so confident, if only he hadn’t sent Laurent away, because Laurent was the one person who deserved a completely painless existence from this point forward and Damen kept putting that in jeopardy.

There would be less fighting back and exchanging harsh words with Guion.At this point, he had to avoid as many beatings as possible, while still maintaining a small amount of resistance, so Guion wouldn’t get suspicious.Laurent had entrusted him with a task and he wasn’t going to fail, not this time.He would return home alive, having defeated Guion once and for all, and he would hold his husband tight, inhale his scent, and finally breath again.

Damen knew Guion would accept the summons.Damen knew that it was going to unfold just as Laurent thought it would and he would be ready.No one and nothing was going to tear them apart.


	29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not be trying to drag this out as long as possible...but we're getting there.  
> Thank you so much, as always. You're all so incredible. The comments this go around were especially delightful. Still in awe over all of you who comment every single goddamn time.  
> Thanks to @vereandakielos. I literally don't know why or how you deal with me and my endless impatience.  
> Enjoy this chapter, all <3

Nikandros was still entirely unsure how they’d ended up in Laurent’s rooms, even as he watched Laurent and Jord play a silent and slow game of cards—Jord was having significant trouble with only one hand, but he was determined to play alone.Nikandros wasn’t playing, as he’d never really liked cards and he also didn’t understand why they were doing this.Distracting Laurent was a worthwhile occupation, but he didn’t look all that distracted, and frankly, they could be discussing battle tactics.Nikandros, in fact, had a bone to pick with Laurent.He was positive that the minute a fight started, Laurent would run off into the distance and try to find Damen.That would not help the morale of the men.In fact, it was worse than that.It would take away the only leader they had left, but Nikandros couldn’t think of a way to broach the topic and then actually convince Laurent that what he was saying was worth listening to.

This was the kind of conversation they typically left for Damen, because he knew how to have it.

Nikandros understood he knew more about Laurent than most people, but Laurent was like the sky at night.Vast, beautiful, cold, distant, and unfathomable.He felt as though he’d only dug under a couple layers of the skin that made up Laurent.He hadn’t even reached muscle, let alone the center of what Laurent was.The longer he and Jord sat in this room, trying to help, the more obvious it became.Even for Jord, who’d known Laurent longer than Damen had, it was a struggle to get Laurent to engage.It was hard to know if they were truly helping.Nikandros thought they probably weren’t, but Laurent had yet to kick them out.

Letting out a soft cheer as Laurent won another game, Nikandros contemplated what to do.It had come as a small surprise to him when he’d realized that he actually wanted to help Laurent.No, it was more than that…he would do almost anything to help.But when Laurent had opened the door and stared at them, Nikandros knew.That was partly why he’d said what he’d said. _I know how you feel._ He’d thought it would help and the vulnerability of the moment—any vulnerability around Laurent proving terrifying, because he was giving something valuable away to a man who knew exactly what to do with it—had been an easy sacrifice.

Nikandros truly did know how Laurent felt, which made the problem obvious.Delving deep into all of his memories of Damen, everything that Damen was and encompassed, Nikandros asked himself a question: how would Damen make this easier for Laurent? 

It was a hard question to ask and took a fair amount of convoluting to arrive at a situation where Damen would still be around and friends with Laurent, but not actually in love with him.Nikandros realized he should’ve spent less time imagining the situation, because it didn’t matter.Damen was Damen and, no matter what, he would always be Damen.

He would be unfailingly kind, he wouldn’t broach anything uncomfortable or go anywhere Laurent didn’t want to go, he would let everything unfold the way Laurent wished it to.But that wasn’t helpful, because Laurent wanted to curl up in bed and ignore the world.Or, possibly, go and murder small children.Nikandros really had no idea.Either way, it was a matter of getting him to do something, which was unusual.

This is a time where Damen would push.Where he would get in Laurent’s face and ask hard questions and take the brunt of the anger and harsh words Laurent threw at him, until Laurent was burnt out and forced to actually address the issues he had that had been masked by the anger.Damen was very good at knowing when was the right time.He’d done it to Nikandros enough in the past, especially when they’d been younger and Nikandros had been slightly resentful of his sun-kissed prince of a friend.

However, he also knew he and Jord were not allowed to push.Or maybe they were.

_We need you, Damen_ , Nikandros thought.There was no obvious solution.

Jord won the card game this time around, only his second time, and Laurent shot him a small congratulatory smile.

Maybe the cards were helping.

Nikandros wanted to rip his hair out.He wanted some confirmation that he was doing something with his time right now.Because, at the moment, it felt as though he was thinking in large, complicated circles that had small detours to little mazes in the middle.

He’d noticed Jord peering over at him more often recently and now, as Laurent was shuffling the cards, Jord was staring straight at him. 

“What?” Nikandros grumbled.

“I don’t know.Maybe you should stop living in your head and play cards with us.”

“I don’t like cards.”

“I know,” Jord said, “But you need to stop doing whatever you’re doing, because it is not helping.”

“Are the cards helping?” Nikandros asked, louder than he’d intended.“Is any of this helping you, Laurent?I don’t think you’ve spoken since we’ve entered and you look bored out of your mind.Of course, you always look bored out of your mind and I know it can’t always be true.I’m not Damen.Jord is not Damen.We have no idea what we’re doing.”

Jord and Laurent were staring at him as though they didn’t know him.Then Jord glared.Laurent’s face remained impassive, but his eyes were calculating.He was judging Nikandros, probably judging what kind of response he would need.Nikandros didn’t want the answer he wanted to hear, he wanted a truthful one.

Pointing a finger in Laurent’s face, Nikandros said, “And I want the truth.Don’t you dare tell me what you think I want to hear.”

“Have I punched a wall?” Laurent asked.

“No.”

“Have I tortured Guion’s son?”

“No,” Nikandros said, again, slower, unsure where this was heading.

“Have I reduced you and Jord to shells of the men you used to be?”

“No.”Nikandros wasn’t confident Laurent could even do that.Jord seemed to think he could, though, judging by look on his face and the green tinge to his skin.

“Then you’re helping.”

In a rush, Nikandros realized those were all of things Laurent wanted to do.He wondered if Laurent was staying silent simply because, if he spoke, he’d ruin whatever friendship they’d managed to build.A rush of warmth invaded Nikandros when he realized that that meant Laurent cared. 

So that was how Damen did this.

Nevertheless, Nikandros wasn’t quite satisfied.He wanted a real smile or for Laurent to actually talk about what was going on in his head or…he didn’t really know.Nor was he sure that any of that was attainable, but he was willing to try.Nikandros had always taken risks others wouldn’t and sometimes that left things messy, but he’d had yet to regret one of his more impulsive decisions.“Do you trust us?” he asked Laurent.Then he held his breath.He suspected he already knew the answer and wouldn’t like it.

Laurent set down his cards on the table and then stared at them as though they were shuffling themselves. 

Jord sighed and put down his own cards.Pushing out his chair harshly, making it squeal across the ground, he walked out of the room and onto the balcony.Nikandros groaned internally.His risk had not only received no response, but it had angered Jord.

Nikandros stood, convinced his presence was no longer welcome, and headed for the door.There was a strangled noise behind him and then Laurent said, “Yes.”It was more of a whisper, really, like a confession, something he wasn’t proud of, but it was enough for Nikandros.He aborted his earlier plan and took the chair opposite Laurent, where Jord had previously been sitting.

“Are you willing to test that?”

Laurent met his eyes.They were slightly darker than normal and Nikandros could see how tense he was.Laurent nodded jerkily.

“You’re not very good at this, are you?” Nikandros smiled.

“I would prefer you didn’t comment on my actions.”

“Why are you willing to try?”

Laurent gazed at him.Nikandros sensed how uncomfortable he was and how hard he was trying.Jord wandered back in and pulled a chair up to the table.The silence had likely brought him in, and now, he sensed that something was happening.Nikandros thought he would receive another glare, but instead, Jord smiled softly at him and his eyes were overflowing with adoration.Nikandros wanted to say, _if I’d known being nice to Laurent would do this, I would’ve done it sooner_ , but he thought this would be a bad time to make jokes.This turn in the conversation had made Laurent more on edge than he already was.

“Because Damen trusts you and I trust him with everything I am.I know he’s not wrong,” Laurent said, finally.

“Not because you, just you, trust us?” Nikandros asked.

“That’s…difficult for me,” Laurent murmured.

“No shit.”

Jord groaned.“And here I thought we might get somewhere,” he whispered.Laurent heard and the corners of his mouth twitched.Nikandros counted that as a personal victory, despite it not being his words that had inspired it.

“I’ll start,” Nikandros began.Laurent stilled, the flicker of a smile disappearing.Nikandros ignored the shift.“I’ve known Damen my entire life.I realize that probably isn’t true, but I don’t remember a time when he wasn’t there.He was the first person I got drunk with, I watched him beat Kastor in swords for the first time, I was there when he tried his hand at flirting at the age of thirteen, and I was there to watch all that was good in him, all that I loved about him, get used to tear him down.It was, perhaps, the greatest moment of my life when I realized he was alive and mostly the same person.

“For months, I thought Damen was dead.I thought I would never see him again.I carried around his lion pin with me for all those months because I couldn’t bear the thought of losing all of him completely.I’m still not sure how I carried on from day to day.It was my duty, I suppose.And then I got a letter from you with all of your promises and I wanted to kill you and then tear my hair out, because you reminded me of Damen and all that he had lost; all that I had lost.But I also knew that he deserved revenge and if anyone could get that for him, it would be me.

“What is happening now feels very similar and my mind keeps replaying those months when I thought he was gone.It’s even more unbearable now, though, because he could live and he could die and there’s nothing I can do about it either way.Not directly, anyway.He’s my greatest friend and if I lost him again, this time for real, I’m not sure what would become of me.My point is, Laurent, you are not alone in this and if you need to talk about it, I will understand.”

Laurent’s eyes were glistening and when Nikandros met his gaze, he averted them to the table.Then, he murmured, almost too quietly to hear, “He said that to me once.You’re not alone.And I didn’t believe him.I didn’t believe him until he showed up at my trial and offered to die beside me.It might’ve ended differently if I’d believed him in the first place.”

Jord reached over and laid his hand on Laurent’s.Laurent jerked lightly under the touch, but then left his hand there.Softly, he said, “He’s all I have and I keep thinking…” he took a shaky breath, “I keep thinking that this plan is going to get him killed; that I’ll kill him.”Then he laughed, bitterly.“I wanted to kill him, once.I suppose I could get my wish.”

Jord glanced at Nikandros, eyes pleading.Nikandros wanted Jord to take a turn, but he understood that this moment was his and Laurent’s.All Jord provided was silent support.“We’ve all agreed to this plan.You don’t get to take all the blame.Besides, Damen survived you.That works wonders for his odds.”

Laurent attempted to smile and then Nikandros watched as the water in his eyes overflowed and slipped down his cheeks in a soundless stream.Jord now appeared even more panicked.It was obvious what he was thinking; no one got to see Laurent like this and now they had, which meant he’d probably kill them.Nikandros would’ve laughed at the absurdity of that once, but now he knew it was never safe to assume what Laurent was and wasn’t capable of.

Slowly, Nikandros extended a hand and placed it on Laurent’s shoulder.It was shaking under his touch and without meaning to, Nikandros scooted his chair closer and shifted so that Laurent could lean into his chest if he wanted to.When Nikandros realized what he’d done, he blushed, knowing full well Laurent wouldn’t take advantage of the offer and that he, Nikandros, was being uncharacteristically kind.But watching Laurent cry was like watching a bird with only one wing try to fly.It was utterly heartbreaking.

Nikandros murmured, “I know, I know.But we will get him back.I promise you.And I will help you the entire way.This is not something you have to do alone.It never was.”He kept talking, anything he could think of, however banal or unrelated.Jord had disappeared back onto the balcony. 

It was a surprise when Laurent reached up and grabbed his wrist, not to remove it, but to hold onto something.He was taking deep breaths, trying to stop the tears, and only when he managed that, did he release Nikandros.He wiped his eyes hurriedly and led his gaze firmly away from Nikandros.

“I would like you and Jord to leave.”

Nikandros nodded.He stood and strolled out to the balcony.Jord was gazing at the seas of grass, his hand clutching the banister tightly.When he heard footsteps, he turned his head and smiled half-heartedly.Reaching up, Nikandros grasped the back of his neck, squeezed it gently, and then ran his hand down Jord’s spine.“Laurent’s asked us to leave,” he murmured.

“Did we go too far?”

“You mean, did I go too far?”Jord shrugged and Nikandros laughed.“No,” he replied, “I don’t think so.But if we don’t leave, we will.”

“If we break him, Damen will murder us.”

“He’s not as breakable as you think.”

“You weren’t here when…”

Nikandros raised a hand to Jord’s lips.“No, I wasn’t.But he managed to fall in love with Damen and build a kingdom despite all of that.Give him some credit.”

“When did you get so smart?” Jord sighed.

“Ah, darling, you think I’m smart?” Nikandros teased.Playfully, Jord shoved him and then grasped Nikandros’ hand.They walked back into the room.Laurent was lying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, still fully clothed. 

“See you tomorrow, Laurent,” Nikandros said.

“Don’t sleep on the floor,” Laurent replied.“It’s bad for your backs.”

The comment was so mild that Nikandros burst into laughter.Jord removed his hand so he could slap Nikandros hard on the arm.“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Nikandros murmured.

They were halfway out the door, when they heard Laurent say, “Thank you.”

Neither turned to acknowledge it.They knew Laurent wouldn’t want them to.

 

The next day, Nikandros and Jord were sent for in the early morning.They’d still been in bed and birds had only just begun chirping.A guard knocked and entered, informing them of their King’s summons, and Jord groaned, rolling into Nikandros’ body and hiding his face. 

“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Nikandros murmured.The guard was still standing there and his hand gripped his sword tighter.Staring at the guard blearily, Nikandros said, “Oh, stand down.I won’t actually kill him.Tell him we’ll be there as soon as we can.Also tell him it’s much too early and I’d prefer to do this later.”

“What if it’s important?” Jord grumbled.

The guard had already left and Nikandros sighed, rolling out of bed.It wasn’t a question of whether it was important or not.Of course it was.It was likely Laurent didn’t particularly want to see them, not after last night.

While he was getting dressed, he stared at Jord, who was still in bed.It was harder for him to wake up in the morning.He usually spent an hour or two grumpy, as if getting out of bed was the hardest thing he would encounter all day.His face was still in a pillow and Nikandros smiled, tracing the line of his back with his eyes.Jord was so heartachingly beautiful in the morning, all soft edges, sleepy words, and smooth skin.The sarcastically harsh words only added to the charm.Sometimes it angered Jord when he was being grumpy and Nikandros simply grinned at him.That was usually when Nikandros started laughing.

This morning, however, he tossed clothes onto Jord in bed and said, “Get dressed.I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep him waiting.”

“Fuck off,” Jord grumbled.“Is the sun even up?I don’t think the sun is up.”

Nikandros rolled his eyes and walked out onto their balcony, a much smaller one than Damen and Laurent possessed, but still a balcony.The sun wasn’t fully in the sky, but the horizon was a bright yellow.

“It’s rising.Complain to Laurent.Would you like me to go alone and make excuses for you?”

Jord groaned loudly into the pillow and then rolled over, falling out of bed dramatically.Nikandros curled his lips, trying not to laugh.It was the only time Jord ever rivaled his own flair for drama.Slowly, he pulled on clothes and then slouched to the door, pausing with his hand on the handle, waiting for Nikandros to catch up with him.Nikandros grabbed an orange and began peeling it as they walked.He offered a slice to Jord when he finally reached the fruit and Jord simply opened his mouth.

“How do you survive without me?” Nikandros asked, placing a slice on Jord’s tongue, running a finger down his bottom lip as he retreated.

“I sleep.”

“How did you handle early morning drills?”

“Exercise helps,” Jord admitted, grudgingly.

“Oh, does it?We’ll go spar after the meeting, then.”

Jord said nothing in reply, but he did look disgruntled.Unable to help himself, Nikandros stepped in front of him, Jord barreling straight into his chest, and pecked him once, twice on the lips.

“Your morning breath is abysmal,” Jord said.

“You mean the oranges?”

Jord shoved him away and kept walking.It wasn’t long before they were standing before Laurent’s door.Jord motioned for Nikandros to knock.“It’s your fault none of us want to face each other,” he grumbled.

With a heavy sigh, Nikandros knocked on the door.A command to enter rippled through the door and they did so, both of their eyes automatically settling on Laurent who had two pieces of parchment and a map on the table before him.He was currently bent over the map, eyes scanning for something.When he looked up, Jord smiled.Laurent did not smile back, but Nikandros saw why Jord was smiling.Laurent had gotten sleep and it looked as though he’d taken a bath.

“Stop ogling and get over here.”

Jord and Nikandros strolled over to the table and peered at the map, figuring that was what they were supposed to do.Laurent snapped his fingers, drawing their attention back up to his face.“I’ve received a letter from Guion and a letter from Vannes.Would you like the bad news or the good news first?”

“Why is there bad news?” Nikandros groaned.He turned to Jord, “Why is there always bad news?”

“I don’t have an interest in your drama this morning, Nikandros.Stop now before I have to stop you.”

“Aren’t you all business?”

Laurent raised his eyebrows at him.Nikandros smiled and shut up.Let it be said he knew when to stop.Most of the time.Beside him, Jord said, “Bad news.”

Nodding, Laurent picked up the letter from Vannes.He scanned it one more time, as though hoping it said something else, and then sighed heavily.“Apparently, the negotiations with Vask did not go as well as planned.Someone got to them first.”

Jord rubbed his hand over his eyes and Nikandros said, “You mean…”He didn’t bother finishing the thought; they were all thinking the same thing.

“Yes.Guion told them what was going to happen, what he was going to do, and what to expect if he won.Now, it’s unclear whether or not they’ve actively sided with him or if they’re just waiting to see the end result of the battle, but we have to be prepared for the possibility Guion has some troops from Vask.It won’t be many if so, because Her Highness won’t be willing to risk so much against me.”

“Why would she side with Guion?” Nikandros asked.

“Verlos is large and she’s aware that militarily, Vere has advanced.She’s also aware that Damianos of Akielos is the son of Theomedes, the conquerer.She’s concerned for the safety of her kingdom.It’s likely we’ll have to personally reassure her when this is all over.Anyway, Guion has provided the opportunity to split Verlos back into Vere and Akielos and make both kingdoms weaker, weak enough that there is no chance they will disturb her.”

Nikandros sighed and looked back at the map.He reached for the quill Laurent had been using and Laurent pushed it closer to him.Swiping it up, Nikandros began drawing x’s in places he thought a small faction of Vaskian troops could hide.Laurent kept talking as he did so.

“The good news is that Guion has agreed to both the negotiation and the location, as expected.It’s a small surprise he didn’t request a location change, find a way to make us uncomfortable, but it’s possible he thinks any Vaskian troops he has will be a surprise.”

Then he snapped his fingers again, this time straight at Nikandros.Nikandros glanced up to Laurent’s blue eyes intent on his.“The Vaskian troops, if there are any, which I would prefer to assume there are, will be well-trained and seamless.They will not be like the rest of Guion’s troops.Keep that in mind.”

Nikandros nodded.Then, he asked, “When is the meeting?”

“Two days from now.”

A long list of swear words ran through Nikandros’ mind, but, out loud, he said, “Alright.” 

Jord let out a low breath.“In two days, this will be over.”

“And we’ll have Damen back,” Nikandros added.

Laurent said nothing, but he looked between them and his eyes were smiling, even though his mouth wasn’t.Nikandros would’ve described it as fond, but it disappeared so quickly, he couldn’t have been sure.

They spent the rest of the morning hunched over the map, talking and pointing and drawing.

 

In fact, that was how the spent the next two days.Instead of quietly tearing himself apart, Laurent had decided to work until he was too tired to function and then repeat.Jord and Nikandros said nothing of the grueling schedule.They simply got up and joined him, staying until the early hours of the night. 

By the time the morning of the battle arrived, they felt extremely prepared.There were still lots of variables they could do nothing about, variables that Laurent liked to obsess over, but Nikandros felt relatively confident.They were riding to a large open spit of land that lay between their two forts.Conveniently, it was bordered by a forest where an army could hide.Nikandros had tried to come up with ways to do it cleverly, but Laurent directed his focus to more important things, stating that Guion knew exactly what to expect and that hiding the army was largely pointless.

Laurent gave his orders quickly and they were riding before the sun was at the top of the sky.The meeting was to be in the late afternoon.It only gave them a couple of hours, but Laurent assured Nikandros there was plenty of time.Nikandros was impressed Laurent wasn’t galloping.He’d been antsy all morning, fidgeting with his clothes and his horse and with orders for the men.

Jord, on the other hand, was grim.For half the ride, Nikandros tried to get him to smile.Laughing seemed like too large a challenge, but a smile, surely…

But, it wasn’t working.Jord would hardly look at him. 

When they reached the site of the meeting, slightly early, though Guion was there, his side setting up a pavilion of sorts for he and Laurent to meet, Nikandros pulled Jord aside, out of earshot of Laurent.There were a few others as well, but a large majority of the army was still in the trees.Only the people attending the meeting with Laurent were in the actual field. 

“What?” Jord asked, sullenly.

“I don’t know.Why don’t you tell me?”

“I’m worried about Damen.”

Nikandros shook his head.“We all are.There’s something else.”

Jord raised his stump in the air and waved it in front on Nikandros’ face.When Nikandros didn’t make a noise of understanding, Jord sighed, “Battles are a little more intense when you understand how easy it is to lose a limb.I’m not as good as I used to be, either.”

“You’re scared.”

Jord stepped into Nikandros, winding his arms around his waist and laying his head against the soft skin of Nikandros’ neck.“Yes,” he whispered.

“My father always told me if you weren’t scared before a fight, you’d already lost, because you wouldn’t be fighting for your life.”

“I know you don’t believe that.”

Nikandros shrugged.“Not really.It doesn’t mean that you can’t, though.Will it help if I promise not to leave your side the entire time?”

“You can’t promise something like that.”

“No, but I wish I could.I decided this morning that I would do my damnedest to stay beside you.I don’t want a repeat of the ambush, where I’m searching for you, thinking you’re dead.”Nikandros ran a hand down the slope of Jord’s skull to the nape of his neck and then said, “Are you going to be okay?I need to talk to Laurent.”

Jord nodded.“I’ll find Lazar and Pallas and let them distract me.”

Nikandros bent down and kissed Jord hard, teeth clashing.Before either of them breathed, Jord managed to transform the kiss into something sweet and lingering.Pulling away, Nikandros laughed and pecked him on the nose.“Aren’t you the romantic?”

Jord nodded seriously.“I was the one who kissed someone on the nose, after all.”

Still laughing, Nikandros strolled away, making his way to Laurent, who was watching the pavilion being set up.It was entirely possible he was searching for a sign of Damen.Nikandros couldn’t blame him.“Laurent,” he said.

Laurent turned.“What?”

“I’d like to discuss something with you.”

“Really?I had no idea.”

“You can’t run off after Damen the moment the battle starts.”

Laurent sneered, “I can do whatever I like.”

“No, you can’t,” Nikandros said, stepping closer.“The only leader these soldiers have is you.Damen is over there.If you leave, if they can’t see you, everything will fall apart.Lines will disintegrate, morale will fall, and we could have a very real chance of losing.Remember that this plan was designed the way it was because you wanted to save both Verlos and Damen.Don’t lose Verlos over a stupid mistake.Don’t kill all of these people for Damen.”

Laurent shut his eyes and then started walked towards the forest.“Come with me,” he said.

Seeing no other option, Nikandros did.As they were walking, he wished he knew what Laurent was doing.Unbidden, Damen’s voice entered his head.You get used to it.That had been the biggest lie Damen had ever told him.Miraculously, he and Laurent were friends, but he still couldn’t predict a goddamn thing Laurent did.

They were standing together in front of the soldiers.Laurent barely raised his voice, but Nikandros knew every one of them could hear.“When the battle commences, I intend to sneak through enemy lines to find Damianos, your king.I will personally see him safely returned.In my absence, Nikandros is me.You will follow his every order and keep him safe.”Then, slightly louder, “Are you ready for the return of your king?”

The army had been ordered to be as silent as possible, so they didn’t cheer, but Nikandros saw their eyes light up.Laurent turned to Nikandros and gave a small bow.“They’re yours.Now, I think it’s time for the meeting.Are you coming?”

Nikandros nodded.

On the way, they picked up Jord and Lazar and strolled towards the newly built pavilion.Pallas was gathering soldiers to sneak into the edges of Guion’s camp, knock out a few soldiers and steal their clothes.When they reached the pavilion, two guards standing outside held up their hands.Laurent came to a stop and stared at Guion, eyes hard.Nikandros glared at him, as well, thinking it was ridiculous they were being stopped when there wasn’t even a door.Then, with a nod, the guards let them in.Laurent took the only chair and Nikandros motioned for the rest of them to flank the chair.He put his hand on the pommel of his sword as a deterrent.

Guion noticed.“My,” he said, “How did you inspire such loyalty among barbarian Akielons?”

Laurent smiled thinly.“I made a friend.Aren’t you proud of me?

“I doubt anyone is proud of you.”

“Everyone who matters is.”

Nikandros saw a flicker of shock in Guion’s eyes.The pride and strength in Laurent’s voice wasn’t feigned.He was letting it be known that he cared about people and that they cared about him back.Damen probably would’ve been tearing up.

“Shall we begin?” Guion asked.

Laurent nodded.His gaze flicked to Lazar, who also nodded, and then disappeared.Guion watched carefully, but then let it slide, his gaze returning to Laurent.He was about to speak, when Laurent interrupted him.Nikandros tried not to smile.It was so obvious who had the power here.“You want Verlos,” Laurent said, “And your son.Don’t you think that’s more than Damen is worth?”

“Do you?”

Laurent laughed softly.“No.I don’t.I would say I’m impressed you managed to figure that out on your own, but you were at the trial.It couldn’t have been a large leap.”

“I wasn’t sure,” Guion sighed dramatically.“But Damen told me how much he was worth to you, erasing any doubt.”

“No, he didn’t.” 

Guion didn’t reply.Clearly, he hadn’t expected such confidence.Nikandros suddenly wished he had better context for this conversation.But, as far as he could tell, Guion hadn’t expected him to be so sure of Damen’s love for him.Nikandros sensed he should be incredibly proud of Laurent at the moment.

Laurent clacked his fingernails against the table and then said, “I’d like to see him.I want to be sure you have him and that he’s alive.”

“And I’d like to see my son.”

Right on time, Lazar appeared, dragging Guion’s son after him.“Firmin,” Guion breathed.Besides being gagged and bound, his son was completely unharmed and his eyes filled with tears when he saw his father.

Guion nodded to a soldier beside him and they disappeared, off to fetch Damen.Nikandros’ chest tightened in anticipation. 

Laurent was managing to keep his cool.His face was still blank, his fingers were still clacking against the table, and he was staring at Guion with a calm half-smile.It was the best performance Nikandros had ever seen from Laurent.He wasn’t giving anything away.

Then Damen was there.Nikandros’ grip tightened on his pommel and he barely managed to stop himself from drawing his sword.Bruises mottled every inch of Damen’s skin and one of his eyelids could only open halfway.He had not been treated well. 

Damen was staring at Laurent.Nikandros shifted his eyes there as well and he watched as everything in Laurent’s face froze and his eyes got dangerously dark.Both Damen and Nikandros inhaled sharply.Things were about to get ugly.

“Laurent,” Damen said, oh-so-softly.The tenderness in his voice almost brought Nikandros to his knees.“I’m fine.Please, I’m alright.”

Damen was not alright and it was going to be difficult for him to fight his way free.If anyone could, it was Damen, but still…there was no doubt in Nikandros’ mind that every inch of his body was in pain and that his eyesight was slightly compromised. 

Laurent and Damen appeared to be having a silent conversation.Then, Laurent said, “Fine.Yes, you look like the epitome of health.”The words were ice.Damen had lost whatever battle they had been having.Without glancing backwards, Laurent continued with, “Lazar, escort Guion’s son to the edge of the forest and beat him.I want him to look exactly like Damen when you’re finished.”

“Laurent…” Damen said again.

Guion was watching the departure of his son with wide eyes.“That was unwise, Laurent,” he murmured.

Slowly, Laurent turned back to him.“Was it?” he said, voice quieter than Nikandros had ever heard it.“You did not treat your prisoner kindly.I’d like to return the favor.Besides, I think it’s time to stop with the pretense.You know that I will not give you Verlos, which means this was pointless.”Out of the corner of his eye, Laurent glanced at Nikandros.Imperceptibly, Nikandros shook his head.It hadn’t been quite enough time for Pallas to get changed and integrated into the workings of the camp.So, Laurent kept talking.He looked happy to.“You have been a bigger thorn in my side than your son was.Remember Aimeric?The traitor?He took the coward’s way out, if I recall.I still regret not being the one to kill him myself.Of course, Damen was the one that stopped me, but now, Damen is over there and you hurt him and I’m not pleased.”

Laurent stood and leaned over the table, his hands resting halfway across it.“I will do to you what I wanted to do to your son.And then, when I’ve done it to you, I will do it to your eldest.I think, maybe, I’ll pass him around the soldiers first, give him a taste of a less privileged life before he dies.But, because I’m merciful, I will show you his bruised body before it’s all over.Maybe, I’ll even let you die side by side.You can piss yourselves together.”

Guion’s face was growing whiter and whiter.Damen didn’t look appalled, just sad.Nikandros had known he could speak like this, but he hadn’t truly seen it before, not like this.

“And then,” Laurent continued, “I’ll tell your wife all about it.She’s in Ios, did you know?She came to warn me about you.I think it’s unlikely she’ll care about your death.She might care about Firmin’s, but she was willing to sacrifice him, because he was working against me.How does that feel?Being betrayed by your own wife to protect me?You call yourself a family man, but you can’t even take care of them can you?Is there anything you can actually do?”

“Beat you,” Guion murmured, but he didn’t sound very sure.With a wave of his hand, he said, “Take Damianos to the edge of the camp and execute him.”

Laurent’s eyes flicked to Damen and Damen nodded at him.“Would you like to say goodbye to your son, Guion?” Laurent asked.

Shutting his eyes, Guion halted the jostling of Damen.“You have a minute,” he murmured.Laurent stood and glared at the soldiers gripping Damen by the arms.They let go and Laurent moved in close, whispering into Damen’s ear.Damen listened and then he wrapped his arms around Laurent and held him close.They stood like that until Guion cleared his throat.They separated and Damen reached down and grasped Laurent’s hand.

They only let go when Damen was gathered back into the soldier’s grips and dragged away.Laurent’s hand dangled in air for a brief moment, before he turned back to the table and smiled at Guion.The smile was disturbing and cruel enough to kill someone.He got into Guion’s space, their noses almost touching, and said, “You’ve already lost.Long live Verlos.”Then he turned and stalked out.Quickly, Nikandros motioned for everyone to follow him.


	30. Chapter Thirty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I now know exactly how this is going to go down, so I thought I'd warn you...there are only two chapters left after this one. I will be posting the last chapter on the 24th, the five-month anniversary of when I started. It's getting real and I've already cried multiple times. Okay...moving on from sad things...  
> Thank you thank you thank you for the comments this time around. They were ultra amazing and special  
> Thanks to @vereandakielos as always  
> Please enjoy! <3

“Take Damianos to the edge of the camp and execute him.”

It hadn’t come as a surprise, but Damen’s heartbeat still picked up, pulsing through his hearing and vision.He did another mental calculation of the weakest parts of his body.If too many of them were injured, he would die.And he didn’t want to die.Not now.Not when he’d finally seen Laurent again, so close, his beauty breathtaking, even as his caustic words had just reduced Guion to a fumbling old man.

Through the rush of blood in his ears, Damen faintly heard Laurent say, “Would you like to say goodbye to your son, Guion?”

And then Guion reply, “You have a minute.”

Laurent was walking over to him.Damen bit his lip, trying not to smile.The walk was so familiar.It was the one he used when he was trying to seem in control; a walk that suggested murder.Then Laurent was at his ear and murmuring something.Taking a deep breath, Damen tried to clear the strident heartbeats so that he could hear what Laurent was saying.

When he had, he realized the murmuring had stopped.Laurent’s lips were still right next to his ear and it was distracting, but Damen managed to shake his head slightly.He felt lips quirk against his cheek and then Laurent tried again, “If you don’t die, I’ll kiss every one of those bruises when this is over.Kill them all, husband.”

Damen shut his eyes, savoring the sound of Laurent’s voice, and wrapped his arms entirely around Laurent, holding him as close as physically possible.A small gasp emanated from the space by Damen’s cheek, but Laurent didn’t complain about being held so tightly.He simply curled his arms around Damen’s neck, rising on his tiptoes, and clutched him closer.

Damen knew their minute was almost up, but Laurent was real and there and Damen found himself barely thinking of the time they had left.Instead, he was reacquainting himself with the small of Laurent’s back, the feel of his soft hair against his skin, the sound of his breathing, and the racing beats of his heart.Realistically, he knew he’d been away from Laurent longer in the past, but this time had felt like years.

There was a noise from Guion and Laurent murmured, “I love you,” and then let go.Damen trailed a hand down Laurent’s clothed arm and warmth pooled in his stomach when their fingers interlocked.More than anything, Damen wanted to return the sentiment, but he found he couldn’t.Not with the knowledge of what could happen and not with Laurent’s eyes burning into his the way they were, his anger at the rest of the world poorly disguised. 

Strong hands clutched Damen’s arms and pulled him away from Laurent, their fingers grasping for each other’s as long as they could, before falling away.As he was lead away, Damen realized that was the first time he hadn’t said that he loved Laurent in return and it made his stomach twist.His stomach only twisted more when he realized he hadn’t even glanced at Nikandros or Jord.Ideally, he wasn’t going to die, but Damen wasn’t idiotic enough to consider that an undeniable fact.It was possible he wouldn’t see either of them again and he hadn’t said goodbye.

The hands were trying to tug him to the ground and Damen took a deep breath, clearing his head.This wasn’t the time to dwell on what he had and hadn’t done.A blade of a sword was about to be placed on the back of his neck and he’d prefer to survive, instead of dying because he was thinking about what would happen if he did. 

He let himself fall to his knees, hands gripping the smooth tendrils of grass beneath him.Let the edge of the sword balance on the back of his neck, cold and violent.The idea was that the utter compliance would lull them into a false sense of security and it worked.The grip on his shoulders loosened just enough and when the blade disappeared from the back of his neck, he wrenched away hard, rolling across the ground, the downswing of the sword barely missing one of his arms. 

Everything was throbbing and Damen stumbled into a standing position.He was without a weapon and he was having trouble keeping track of both soldiers, one of whom was now shouting for reinforcements.This was not going to be easy.Hopefully, the support that Laurent had promised was almost here.

Briefly, Damen considered running.It was so far outside his nature, however, that he dismissed the idea quickly.He wouldn’t be able to outrun anyone like this and it would make it harder for his support to find him.That meant there was only thing he could do.

He ran straight at the soldier who had had his blade against his neck.The soldier, surprised, didn’t raise his sword in time.Nevertheless, the tackle did earn Damen a neat slice on his arm as the sword rebounded in the man’s hand when they hit the ground.Effortlessly, Damen wrestled the sword away from his grip and sliced his neck.In a rush, he turned to find he was surrounded by ten men.Others were lingering on the edges, awaiting their turn.He was going to have to run, because he was on the edge of the enemy camp, where thousands of soldiers were being housed.There would be no end to them and they were not going to let him go.Somehow, he’d have to get back to Laurent’s side of the field alive.

Before he could contemplate how to do that, a soldier rushed him.With ease, Damen swept his sword away and sliced open his stomach.Even with a bleeding arm and a bruised body, Damen felt he could do this for a little while.None of these men had talent, all they had were numbers.Damen’s life was on the line.He had a lot more to fight for.

They kept coming in streams, sometimes managing to circle him.That was when it was difficult, because he had to keep his awareness at its peak.During this time, he sustained a plethora of minor cuts.The length of time he could continue to do this was dwindling.Glancing behind him as he killed another man, Damen searched for an escape route of any kind, a place where he could lose men. 

The forest was the only hope.There were lots of trees and if he could find a high point, he could fight off those who followed.Theoretically, not all would.They had another battle to fight, after all. 

Two more men attacked and the engagement lasted longer than Damen would’ve liked, because by the time he’d finished, four more had surrounded him.Two of the men had uncanny timing and he had to duck and dodge instead of meet blows.It automatically put him on the defensive.

The next cut he received was much deeper and along his calf.Damen fell to one knee, blocked two more swords, and then tried to stand, but the swords kept raining down and there wasn’t a long enough break for him to find his feet.Damen gathered his thoughts enough to conjure Laurent’s face in his mind.A small smile, blonde hair glowing in the sunlight, and blue eyes piercing.

That was when he heard a scream.Pallas was leading a charge, fighting off those surrounding Damen.Hurriedly, Damen stood when he could and then said, “We need to run.There’s too many here.If we leave, not many will follow.”

Pallas nodded and turned towards the forest, ordering his men to do the same.There were a couple of stragglers, dealing with their own fights, but they all managed to make it into the forest.

Eyes searching, Damen found a rock outcropping.He scrambled up the side and then swiveled to wait for those who were almost certainly following.There wasn’t a person in that camp that wanted to go to Guion and explain that they had lost Damen. 

In the moments before the soldiers arrived, Pallas gave Damen a once-over and shoved him towards the end of the outcropping.Damen glared at him and Pallas glared back.“You’re injured, Exalted.I will not have you in front, continuing to risk your life.Laurent would never forgive me.”

Damen grumbled, “That’s where I should be.Maybe I won’t forgive you.”

Pallas shot him a small smile.“Laurent is much more terrifying than you.”

Damen grinned and held back as he was asked.The soldiers arrived, more than thirty of them.Pallas’ eyes were bright as he flashed a grin at Damen, before clashing swords with one of the first to arrive.

Only a few actually made it to Damen in the back.The rock outcropping gave them a strong advantage and Pallas and his men were more than capable, even against more than quadruple their number.

When they were all dead, blood and entrails soaking the rock, Pallas turned to Damen and said, “Let’s get you back to camp.”

“Has the battle started?” Damen asked.

Pallas shrugged.“We’d hear it wouldn’t we?Laurent will be impressed I got you back in time.”

It was at that moment they heard galloping, shouting, and then the grating sound of metal on metal, multiplied by a thousand.Damen started and then began running.Pallas chased after him and pulled him to a stop, but only because Damen let him.“What?” he asked.

“Do you need a physician?”

Damen rolled his eyes.

“I’m serious.If you do, I will take you to one.This was to save your life.We’re not losing it unnecessarily.”

“Pallas, I’m fighting.”

Shaking his head, Pallas smiled again.“Laurent said I wouldn’t be able to convince you, no matter how bad your injuries.In that case, he has a message for you, one he hoped to deliver himself, I think…he didn’t expect me to get you out of there so quickly.”

“What?”

“Guion is his.”

Damen smiled.

Pallas grabbed his arm again, directing him away from the battle.“At least put some armor on first.”

That seemed wise.Deciding not to argue, Damen followed Pallas and his men back to the camp hidden within the forest.They were running.Damen insisted.The sooner he was fighting for his country, the better.The sooner he found Laurent, the better.The hug hadn’t been enough.He wanted smiles and teasing and effortless camaraderie.They were a team, after all, and Damen wasn’t going to leave his other half alone for long.

Pallas led him into a tent and helped him into his armor.Once that had been done, Damen was already running, the adrenaline making most of his injuries hurt less than they were supposed to. 

He hadn’t grabbed a horse, thinking most people would have fallen or dismounted by now, and he was right.The battlefield was a mess of writhing bodies, horse and men alike, some alive, some dying, and Damen ran straight into the middle, muscling through his men towards the front.One recognized him and shouted, “King Damianos has returned.”Others took up the call and the shouts surrounded the battlefield.Someone was shouting something else up towards the front and it was more discernible the closer he got.It was still his name, but not the formal Damianos, just Damen.Searching for the source, Damen found Nikandros and Jord fighting side by side at the front.When Nikandros saw Damen, he smiled a smile that Damen was sure he would never see again in his life.It was too bright to happen more than once.Nikandros shouted over the clanging of swords, “I would hug you, but I’m busy.In fact, Exalted, I suspect there’s work for you, too.”

As Damen fought beside his friends, taking the place of a fallen man in the relatively ordered lines, Damen shouted, “Where’s Laurent?”

Jord bashed in a head with the pommel of his sword, blood spattering his face.He said, “He went to find you.He could be anywhere.”

Damen swore.Nikandros shot him a sympathetic look and Damen dispatched a man who’d been close to whacking Nikandros’ neck.“I’m fine,” he grumbled, “Pay attention, would you?”

Even though the words were directed to his friend, Damen thought he could use them himself.Focusing on anything besides the location of Laurent was proving difficult.They had been separated for days, they finally got to see each other before Damen was pulled away for execution, he got free, only to discover Laurent was nowhere to be found.More than anything, Damen wanted to go search, but he knew it was an impractical wish.Not only were men now turning to him, searching for orders and strength to hold the lines, but Laurent would be impossible to find.

Damen knew Laurent was likely alone.That was what was worrying him most.Now that he was fighting with Jord and Nikandros, the fact that Laurent had run to find him as soon as the battle started seemed more and more pointless.Pallas had done his job.Why couldn’t Laurent have expected that to be the case?

Nikandros shoved him hard, out of the way of an incoming sword, and then grinned.“Who’s not paying attention now?”

“Why didn’t he stay with you?”

Nikandros grunted as he staved off another attack.He was about to reply, when Damen was engaged in his own battle.Finally, there was a small enough break, a confusion in the swarming mass of bodies, that allowed Nikandros to say, “I’m not talking about your husband’s motives in the middle of a battle.Ask him when this is over.”

Damen was about to reply that Nikandros shouldn’t have bothered speaking, when he heard the sound of a horn blowing in the distance.Flicking his eyes to Jord questioningly, Jord said, “The Vaskian troops.”

Damen hadn’t realized there would be Vaskian troops.There hadn’t been a way to inform him, but he still wished he’d known.

They were riding in from the side, trying to split Damen’s forces into two fronts and it was going to work.Tall enough to see over the heads of everyone else, Damen noticed that there weren’t many of them, but their armor was glinting in the sunlight and they looked entirely fresh.Groaning, Damen barked orders, splitting their lines, facing off in two fronts just as Guion wanted him to.There weren’t really any other options.

His soldiers were mostly prepared when the Vaskian troops hit, but not prepared enough.The line didn’t hold and Damen swore loudly, shouting more orders, directing more soldiers to that side, praying that the hole would be patched up.There weren’t many of them, but they were levels above Guion’s troops in skill.They could spare a slight imbalance in focus.

Nikandros shouted at him, “Don’t bother.”

“What?”

“Do you think Laurent didn’t make me plan for this?”

Then, streaming out of the trees, more of Damen’s troops arrived and they were just as fresh as the Vaskian ones.They’d been held back specifically for this.They hit the Vaskian troops in the side, but they were far from prepared and Damen allowed his attention to return solely to fighting, because he knew that threat was neutralized.

Damen had no awareness of time, but after he sliced the arm off a man before beheading him, killing at least his thirtieth man, he knew that he should’ve seen Laurent by now.Laurent would’ve realized Damen had gotten out and would’ve started making his way back.It was likely he’d gotten held up on the way.If he was dead…

He yelled, “I’m going to go find him.”

Nikandros said, “Damen, if you fucking die on a fools errand, I will…”

“Save it,” Damen replied.Then he slipped back through the troops, letting them fill the hole he left behind, by shouting, “Make way for the King.” 

The cover of the trees was the easiest way across the lines.Small numbers of troops could fit between the gaps, but no legitimate battle could happen there.There simply wasn’t room.Laurent would’ve gone in and out that way.Someone had likely followed him out and Damen knew, he just knew, that Laurent had done all of it alone.All it would’ve taken was one soldier who recognized Laurent and thought he could win the battle with the swing of a sword. 

Weaving through the trees at a sprint, Damen kept his eyes peeled for bright blonde hair.He knew he would recognize that anywhere, even in a sea of similar blonde heads. 

He was well into Guion’s side now and there was still no sign of Laurent.Helplessly, Damen began to shout Laurent’s name.He didn’t care if he was discovered and soldiers came after him, he didn’t care that his father would be rolling in his grave at his actions, all he cared about was finding Laurent.They’d been apart long enough.

“Laurent,” he shouted again, cupping his hands around his mouth this time, as he trudged through the cluttered undergrowth of the forest.It was hard to hear with the sounds of the battle drowning out almost everything, including his footsteps.

The only thing he could really hear was his heart.It was pounding furiously in his ears, worry consuming every thought and action.All Damen could think was that Laurent should be in here somewhere.And he should be alive, not sprawled among the bristly bushes and…

Damen shook his head.Thinking like that would only make things worse.He shouted again and again.It was his only option, but the longer he shouted, the more it felt as though it wasn’t enough.He hadn’t entered the forest to do nothing.His army needed him and he was in here, searching for someone who couldn’t be found.Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Damen turned around slowly.He took slow steps back the way he’d come.It felt wrong, but there were other places he was needed and he’d already spent too much time away from them. 

The wrongness pressed on him as he continued and desperately, he shouted one last time.He screamed, actually, the sounds grating from his throat, causing a strangled pain.It was the kind of scream that would leave him voiceless for days if he wasn’t careful.

And that’s when he heard it.That was when his heart jumped into his throat and he was running.Laurent’s voice, shouting his name.Not just once, but over and over again and Damen ran and ran, thinking he hadn’t ever heard a sound quite so beautiful.

Branches thwacked against his face, some leaving cuts, and he practically tripped over roots more than once, but then he was there and he could see Laurent.The moment he did, he hurtled to a stop, breathless.Laurent was surrounded by Guion’s men, some dead, but most still alive.They were watching him warily, but it was a battle Laurent would lose eventually.Damen could see that most of his hair was loose from his braid and that he had a clean slice across an arm and up a leg.The soldiers likely couldn’t tell Laurent was in pain, but Damen could.They were smart enough, however, to know that they could wear Laurent down and then move in for the kill.

When Laurent saw Damen, he went back to snarling, saying something to the men surrounding him.Unsurprisingly, he managed to goad one into attacking angrily and prematurely and Laurent cut him down swiftly.The slice of his sword through the air was elegant and Damen stood mesmerized.He was so beautiful, face flushed, hair undone, and sword in hand.Laurent seemed to realize Damen wasn’t moving, because he shouted, “Don’t tell me you want me to die now?Not after all this time, surely.”

When he heard the word ‘die’, Damen’s brain clicked back into focus and he sprung into the fray, battling his way to the center where Laurent was.Smiling brightly, Laurent said, “Hello, lover.”

“Hi,” Damen smiled back, still breathless.He thought he might be breathless for quite some time.Laurent’s smile grew and then he fitted his back to Damen’s.As they slotted together, Damen felt his tension unwind and his mind clear.He was home.In the middle of a forest, by a field with a name he didn’t know, he was home and it felt perfect and right and he wasn’t going to lose.All of these men were dead.“Need some help?” he asked.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

The soldiers were still surrounding them, but they were staring warily now, as though the scales had tipped.They had, but they didn’t need to know just how much.Grinning, Damen said, “Surely you can beat two men?There’s ten of you, after all.”

They still didn’t seem sure.Damen tugged on his clothes, which were sticky against his skin because of all the blood, a fair share his.“I have cuts and bruises everywhere,” he admitted.“What can I possibly do?”

Laurent added, “I’m not sure how much longer I can stand.”

Damen sincerely hoped that was an exaggeration.

Nevertheless, it worked.All ten of them charged.Swords were everywhere.Damen ducked and dodged and blocked and weaved, always making sure his back was against Laurent’s again by the end of an evasion.Laurent was sprightly beside him, easily avoiding, his parries quick and glancing.Damen wished he had a better view, because he was certain it was stunning.

They knew exactly where the other was going to be and they protected each other easily when one of them faltered from a lingering injury.More cuts were sustained, but nothing serious, and slowly the soldiers began to tire, especially those fighting against Damen.Weathering Damen’s blows was not an easy task and once they began to falter, Damen and Laurent gained the upper hand.With precision, they picked off those surrounding them one by one until there were only two left.That was when they split and attacked one on one.Damen dispatched his target quickly, the man practically shaking from fear, and he turned to watch as Laurent parried effortlessly, feinted, and then stepped, driving his sword into the man’s stomach.Then he shoved him to the ground and left the sword there. 

Thinking Laurent was going to stand there and watch him die, Damen began assessing his injuries.At this point, it might be unwise to enter back into the larger fray.It would certainly be a risk, but Damen knew it was one he was going to take.He was about to look back up and ask Laurent how he was, when a body barreled into him.For a moment, he thought it was a soldier he hadn’t seen, but then he smelled Laurent, his sweat and the underlying smell that was always there and inherently Laurent, and dropped his sword.

The sheer force of the hug pushed Damen back and called on his tired, wounded muscles.With effort, he managed to stay standing and to fold his arms around Laurent, holding him close.They didn’t say anything, just embraced each other.It didn’t feel right to talk when they could hear the gurgles of someone choking on his own blood behind them.Only when the noises ceased, did Laurent say, “You are not worth Guion’s son.Next time, I’m letting him go, because this is never happening again.”

“Did you miss me?” Damen laughed.

“Miss you?No.I _ached_ for you, you fucking bastard.”Faster than Laurent had entered the hug, he left it.He flitted a couple of steps back and regarded Damen silently. 

“What?” Damen asked.

The laugh that left Laurent was slightly maniacal.“I want to punch you.”

Damen grimaced.“Please don’t.You’d hit a bruise.”

The anger shifted into sadness and then Laurent was back in his space and his fingers were resting softly against Damen’s cheek, tracing one such bruise.And then, even more lightly, the one around his eye, making it swell.“Come with me.Come help me find him.Help me drag him back and cut his cock off and shove it down his throat.”The fingers against Damen’s face were shaking.“I can’t believe he did this to you.I didn’t think he was that suicidal.”

Reaching up, Damen held his hand over Laurent’s.Suddenly, the battle didn’t seem quite as important as this.“Right now, we are alive.I don’t care how angry you are, I am done risking our lives.We have men here willing to die for us.Maybe we should let them.”Damen hadn’t known what he was going to say until the words came spilling out.They were horrifying, but true.He and Laurent were together and alive.Returning to the battle with their injuries would be inviting death and, for once, Damen was willing to let others win his battles if it meant he and Laurent being alive and together until he was very old.

“Not very honorable of you.”

“I just want to make it out of this alive.”A small pause, and then, “Can you even walk?”

Laurent shrugged.“I can if I have to.”

“You don’t have to.”

“What exactly are you suggesting?”

Damen intertwined his fingers with Laurent’s against his cheek and then brought the hand down so his mouth was against the inside of Laurent’s wrist.He breathed his words into the soft skin there.“I’m suggesting we see a physician and wait for the battle to be won.”

“You’re so sure it will be won?”

Damen nodded.“Don’t you trust Jord and Nikandros?”

“I do,” Laurent said, firmly, shocking Damen slightly.“But,” he continued, just as forcefully, “I am killing Guion.It will be me and no one else and I will not risk losing that opportunity by sitting idly in a physician’s tent.”

“No one on that field is stupid enough to kill Guion without your permission.If anyone is, Nikandros will stop them.Please, Laurent.” 

There was more than one message in the word ‘please’ and Laurent received them all.He gazed at Damen a moment longer and then nodded.Tugging his hand away from Damen’s, he walked a few steps away, turning his back.Closing his eyes and leaning back against a tree, Damen waited.Let Laurent have his time to think; Damen needed the time to regain enough energy to walk to the physician’s tent. 

A hand was against his face once more.Damen opened his eyes and saw the blue of Laurent’s.They were bluer than he remembered.It was possible he was just being overly sentimental, but that was something he was more than happy to be.“Shall we walk?” he mumbled.

“Alright.”

They began walking, their only connection their hands, but gradually, they leaned against each other.Damen thought he could probably sleep standing up and Laurent’s leg was much worse than he’d been letting on.It was evocative of when they’d been drunk and returning to their rooms.The going was slow and Damen spent an inordinate amount of time trying to peer through the trees and discern how the battle was going.He would stroll to the edge for an unobstructed view, but that was too dangerous.When he glanced back at Laurent, there was amusement in his eyes.“Are you sure you want to see the physician?You can still change your mind.”

“I’m sure,” Damen said.What scared Damen more than missing the battle, was losing physical contact with Laurent.He would prefer to be touching Laurent in some way for the rest of the day, maybe the rest of the week.Letting him go would tear at a healing wound.A wound that, admittedly, had been created by himself.

Both of them were on the verge of collapsing when tents came into view.Someone had spotted them and was running in their direction.Closer and closer until Damen recognized him.It was Paschal.He scanned both of them once and then firmly directed them to follow him.Blearily, Damen did, his arm around Laurent’s waist, keeping him moving.Softly, Laurent said, “I do see your point.If I was fighting right now…”

Paschal heard the word fighting and he turned in a fury, eyes blazing.“Neither one of you is doing any fighting for the rest of the day.You’ve both already lost too much blood.I’m impressed you made it this far.”Under his breath, “Thank goodness you did.”

They found themselves in a large, low-hanging tent, that Damen couldn’t walk through fully upright, and pointed towards two adjoining beds.The tent was full of the injured, groaning and pleading and snoring.It was depressing and Laurent stared around, dissatisfied.

Paschal noticed.“This is the only place we have set up to address medical needs.It will have to do.Now, lay down, both of you, before I make someone force you to.”

Damen shrugged and sunk into the cot gratefully.It wasn’t comfortable and there wasn’t a pillow, but he’d been deprived the luxury of lying down for days.He sorely needed it.His hand was still loosely gripping Laurent’s and instead of lying down himself, Laurent sat down on the cot, facing Damen.Paschal glared at him and Laurent glared back.“Don’t make me let go,” he said, lowly.The fierceness behind the command made Damen cringe.There was violence in those words.Paschal clearly noticed because he sighed, ran a hand across his forehead, and then turned his attention to Damen.His hands slid over bruises and scrapes perfunctorily and then slowly, he began to patch them up, salving some of the cuts, but stitching up more of them.Grimacing, Damen gripped Laurent’s hand tightly as the needle was threaded through his skin again and again.Then were thin strips of cloth wound around almost every one of his limbs.Only then did Paschal stand, wiping sweat from his brow, and declare, “That will have to do.You are not allowed to leave this bed.”Then, his gaze on Laurent, “May I examine you, Your Highness?”

Laurent nodded shortly, his eyes still on Damen’s.Paschal didn’t ask him to let go of Damen or to lay down.He simply crouched and prodded at the gash on Laurent’s leg.There were lots of other minor cuts, but that was the one both he and Damen were worried about.Peeling away the fabric around the cut, Paschal sighed, grabbed the bottle of alcohol he’d used on Damen, and splattered it on the cut, up and down multiple times.Gasping lightly, Laurent furrowed his brow and clenched Damen’s hand.Then came the stitches and Damen reached up to run his thumb over Laurent’s cheekbone all the way through.

The smaller cuts were less painful and quicker and then Paschal said, “You can’t move, either.Is there anything I could say that would make you lie down?”

Laurent shook his head.

Paschal turned to Damen.“Find a way to make him lie down without getting up yourself.”Then he left to attend the dozens of other injured men surrounding them.Normally, Damen would walk through and calm them, offering them kind words, but he was one of the injured now.This wasn’t a place he enjoyed.There was an ache in his chest when he realized he wouldn’t be helping them.All he could do was listen to their cries.

Naturally, his eyes flitted back to Laurent.Slowly, Laurent attempted to stand and Damen clenched his fingers hard, willing him to stop.Laurent did reluctantly and then peered around the tent, searching for something, Damen didn’t know what.Clearly he found it, though, because he called a burlier physician over and ordered him to push their cots together.Laurent had to lie down for it to be done and Damen breathed in relief, pleased he wouldn’t have to do any convincing.Then they were next to each other and Laurent was sliding across his cot and into Damen’s arms, his head resting on his chest.Closing his eyes, Damen breathed in, settling the anxiety and pain.

“Isn’t this romantic?” Laurent said, when one occupant of the tent screamed particularly loudly.Damen laughed, but cut it off quickly, as it hurt to do so.Laurent’s eyes grew concerned and he whispered, “Do you need me to move?”

Damen shook his head.“I need you right where you are.”

“I hate you, you know,” Laurent said.The words weren’t teasing and Damen knew they weren’t meant to be.They’d both caused each other so much pain, it wasn’t surprising that Laurent could say it seriously, especially Laurent, who probably thought he could’ve tried harder to prevent himself from loving Damen and ending up in this position.

Still, Damen found himself laughing.None of it mattered, because Laurent was here and they were alive and they were going to defeat Guion.It might not be over yet, but it was going to be.It had been a long time since Damen had felt so free.That, however, might have had something to do with how deliriously tired he was.“We’ll talk about it later,” he murmured, leaning his head against Laurent’s and closing his eyes.

Laurent snuggled into him and lazily kissed everything in reach.He didn’t nod or reply, but he closed his eyes, conceding to Damen’s wishes.

They slept, restlessly, waking to screams and their own hurts frequently.Whenever Damen woke, he would struggle to open his eyes, but he had to make sure Laurent was still there before he was able to sleep again.Every once in awhile, in the space between sleep and consciousness, he would feel Laurent kiss his neck.But it wasn’t comfortable and it was incredibly hard to forget where they were or what was happening.Floating in and out of sleep was better than dwelling on it, however.

 

Someone was shaking both of them awake.Laurent dug further into Damen’s neck, but Damen opened his eyes and watched Nikandros’ face come into focus.He was smiling and blood was dripping from his arm onto Damen’s leg.Damen’s eyes traveled there and Nikandros looked down, flushed, and said, “Sorry about that.Didn’t mean to bleed on you.”

Laurent kissed Damen’s neck again and then mumbled, “Is that Nik?”

“It’s me,” Nikandros said, “And you two have won.The battle is over.It’s all over.”He was smiling even harder and on the verge of laughter.“Of course, neither of you really did anything, so I don’t know why I just gave you credit.Lying here, sleeping.It’s pathetic.”

“Is Jord okay?” Damen asked.

Nikandros nodded.“Swell.As am I, if you were curious.”

“Guion?” Laurent asked.

The smile disappeared.“The bastard is alive.We have him and his son tied up in a tent with four guards standing by.He’s awaiting your judgement.”

That got Laurent’s attention.Gingerly, he sat up and met Nikandros’ gaze.“Take me to him.”

Nikandros didn’t defer to Damen for judgement.Instead, he crossed his arms and stared Laurent down.“You’re not supposed to be walking.”

“Nikandros.”

With a sigh, he said, “It amazes me that both of you survived this.Let’s go.Want to come, Damen?If we’re trying to anger Paschal, we might as well do it right.”

Laurent didn’t let Damen decide.The hand he’d had resting on Damen’s chest moments before was now in his hand.Standing, Laurent pulled Damen with him.Groaning in pain, Damen sat, adjusting, before doing as Laurent silently asked.It earned him a small smile and a peck on the mouth and then they were walking.Nikandros watched them, half amused, half terrified, until they reached the tent where Guion and Firmin were being held.His face was grim as he opened the tent flap for them.Damen didn’t glance behind him.He knew that Nikandros didn’t follow them in.

Firmin looked appalling.Purple bruises covered every inch of the skin on his face and there were three gruesome cuts, one right next to his left eye, making it swell.Damen sucked in a breath and tried not to think about how Guion was feeling.He wouldn’t feel bad for either of them.

Staring at Laurent to distract himself, Damen noticed that Laurent was far from feeling bad.He was angry and tense.Laurent said, “I’m not going to kill you here, as much as I’d like to.You’re both going to be executed in Marlas, in front of hundreds of people as traitors to the crown.My question for you is this:How would you like the journey to Marlas to go?Firmin?Interested in an easier trip?How about you, Guion?”

Damen couldn’t look at them.This was a deal neither one of them should take, but he wasn’t going to warn them.A large part of him was pleading, screaming that they deserved mercy, but another part of him was watching Laurent and running through all of the instances where the love of his life could’ve died because of these two.Damen didn’t know how he felt and until he did, he wasn’t going to do anything.Laurent was in control of this.

Firmin whispered, “Easier?”

Laurent smiled unpleasantly.“Yes.You see, I think tying you to my saddle and letting you walk the rest of the way back is a well-deserved punishment, but I could be talked into being lenient, if you would do something for me.”

“What?”

The smile only grew.But, before he spoke, Laurent took a deep breath, and turned to face Damen.His expression was almost unreadable, but Damen could pick out the questions. _Do you need me to stop?Is this too much?_

Damen blinked and then let his own eyes speak for him. _Do whatever you need to do._

Laurent returned his attention to his very captive audience.“If you take this knife,” Laurent drew a knife from his boot, “And cut your father five times with it.I don’t care where or how deep.”With precise movements, Laurent held out the handle of the knife to Firmin.

A wave of disgust passed of Firmin’s features and he shook his head furiously.Laurent whispered, “Aren’t you a good boy?” and then turned to Guion.“And you?” he asked.

“Cut my son five times?” Guion asked, voice wavering.

Laurent nodded. 

Damen knew that Guion was going to take the knife and he felt sick, not just at the mind games Laurent was playing, but at Guion and his self-serving tendencies.He may have loved his sons, but not as much as he loved himself.What made it even worse was Firmin, who had shown unswerving devotion to a man who was about to betray him.

Guion’s eyes flickered between the knife and Laurent’s face.Sighing, Laurent said, “Give me your answer now.I’m five seconds away from revoking the offer.”

Shutting his eyes, averting his face from his son, Guion nodded slowly.Laurent moved and cut loose one hand from the chair Guion was bound to and placed the knife in his hand.“We’ll leave you alone,” he murmured.Then with a small glance at Damen, he left the tent.Damen didn’t look at Guion or Firmin as he did the same.Laurent was giving orders to the guard about retying Guion when five cuts had been made and Damen winced as he heard a small whimper and a pleading “Father” emanate from inside the tent.They deserved to die, but this…

Laurent reached up, smoothed the wrinkled skin from the wince, and tugged Damen away.Away from all the tents and onto the battlefield.Soldiers were everywhere, picking up bodies and moving them to massive pyres.Many in their army were still alive, but none were in Guion’s and most of them were Akielon, meaning most had come from Lord Lycus.Damen supposed they would have to find him.

“We won,” Damen whispered.

“We did,” Laurent breathed.Something about this place seemed to dissatisfy him, so he tugged on Damen again, leading him back into the forest.Here there were no bodies.The trees were tall and green and the ground was soft with moss, at least, wherever there wasn’t brush.Laurent sat and leaned back against a tree.Damen joined him.

Laurent didn’t look at him.His fingers were busily playing with a loose thread on his pants.Carefully, Damen collected those fingers and brought them to his mouth.Only then did Laurent look at him, everything tense.Damen tried to think of something to say, but before he did, Laurent spoke, the words spilling out, “I’m so sorry.I lost control.I knew that you didn’t know what you wanted to do with them and I just…I was so angry.I am so angry.That was…I probably shouldn’t have done that, but I wanted to prove a point.”

“Laurent…”

“I know that that kind of behavior is not something you want to put your name to or that you ever wanted to see and I realize that…”

“Laurent,” Damen interrupted him, firmly.“Stop.Don’t apologize for being yourself.It was horrifying, but I could’ve talked you down and I didn’t.”

“Why do I do that?” Laurent murmured.Then, more darkly, “Not that he doesn’t deserve it.”

Damen laughed softly.“Because you’re twenty years old.It’s the only time I’m ever able to tell.”

Laurent let his head fall on Damen’s shoulder.“Thank you for living.”

“You didn’t leave me much wriggle room.”

“I’m…”

“Don’t you dare apologize.I got myself in that mess and you got me out.Let’s leave it at that.”Then, after a long pause where they simply listened to each other breathe, “We should head back.It’s not a good idea to go missing after a battle.People will worry.”

“You go.I’m going to stay here for a while.”

“Alright.Don’t wander, though.If I come looking for you, I want to be able to find you.”

Laurent nodded. 

Damen leaned over, tilting Laurent’s face toward his with a gentle hand, and kissed him tenderly.“I love you.Sorry I didn’t tell you in the pavilion.”

“That’s a ridiculous thing to be sorry for.”

Damen shrugged and stood.“But I am.” 

Laurent smiled, eyes soft.He didn’t say anything, but all the words he wanted to say were understood.Damen had always found it difficult to talk after battles and this was no different.Actions sufficed.He walked backwards, staring at Laurent, whose gaze transformed from loving to amused in seconds.Moments later, Damen discovered why, as he walked right into a tree.

“Shit,” he grumbled, rubbing the back of his head, which had been stabbed by a branch.Laurent laughed and waved him away.Laughing himself, Damen turned and walked back to the tents, passing through the battlefield one last time, savoring in the victory.


	31. Chapter Thirty-One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a couple of things to say:  
> 1\. This is essentially the end of the story. Yes, there is another chapter, but it is an epilogue...one I'm intensely excited about.  
> 2\. I'm still posting the next (and final) one on the 24th. It is a longer wait than usual, but it's going to be a fair bit longer than the normal chapters. It's essentially it's own little story.  
> 3\. I am writing another fic for Damen and Laurent. Some of you have asked. It's in the works and I'll have more details next time, but I'm excited about it and am looking for betas so let me know.  
> 4\. I love you all. As always. I'll get into this more next time.
> 
> Enjoy this chapter!!! I only cried once while writing it. <33333

It was a certain kind of exquisite torture, spending the better part of a week in bed with Laurent, both of them healing, Paschal checking on them regularly to make sure they hadn’t moved.  Jord and Nikandros had stopped in frequently, providing company, stories, and Laurent’s large influx of letters.  All he could do to a rule a kingdom from bed was write and give orders, both of which he did with gusto.  When he wasn’t doing that, he was reading aloud to Damen or finding new and inventive ways to irritate him.  By the end of the week, it was beginning to wear on Damen, but he’d lasted longer than anyone else could have and for that he was proud.  Though, that was largely due to the fact he’d spent days unsure he would ever see Laurent again.

The day finally came, however, when they were allowed the freedom to leave their room and actually do things.

The moment Paschal declared they could move, Laurent was out of the bed.He tugged on pants and grabbed a jacket, beginning to lace it up.Damen left the bed slower, more gingerly, testing on his own what he was and wasn’t capable of.It turned out Paschal was right and everything felt fine, except for minor amounts of stiffness in his muscles.With a smile, Damen thanked Paschal and then watched Laurent lace up his jacket, fingers moving so quickly, Damen could barely keep track of the movement.

“That tired of me?” Damen asked.

Laurent glanced up from his sleeve and raised an eyebrow.“Don’t be dramatic.”

“Why should I listen to you?I distinctly remember telling you multiple times to stop singing that song and you completely ignored me.”

“I had nothing else to do.”

“And now you have something to do.”

Laurent finished one sleeve and then gazed at Damen, letting his fingers still.After a long moment, he said, “What’s this really about?”

Damen sighed.He should’ve known Laurent would see right through him.It wasn’t like he’d really expected this to go any differently, but he also couldn’t stop himself from wanting what he wanted.“I don’t feel like we’ve properly celebrated and, finally, we’re about to leave our rooms, only to separate and take care of our own duties.Is it wrong of me to want a day?Just one?”

“Oh, I intend to have a very celebratory day,” Laurent said darkly.“They’ve found Lord Lycus and that means I can finally kill Guion.”

Damen grimaced.Laurent saw and gave up on the laces, crossing the room to Damen.He laid a hand against Damen’s cheek, rubbing the growing stubble, and murmured, “You really need to shave.I don’t like this.”

“That’s what you came over here to say?”

“No,” Laurent admitted.“I came here in an attempt to make you feel better.I should’ve known I’d fail miserably.Jokaste and Kashel are arriving today, aren’t they?”

Damen nodded.He’d forgotten and that brought a small smile to his face.He’d invited them down to Marlas the moment he’d found the time to write.“And Anais,” he added, his smile growing at Laurent’s soft expression. 

Knowing there would be no preventing Laurent from planning the execution and having long, probably horrifying, conversations with Guion and his son, Damen said, “I’ll take care of our normal duties, shall I?I’ll greet Jokaste and Kashel as well.”Then, “Do whatever you need to do, Laurent.I’ll be fine.”

“We will celebrate properly.I promise.”

“What time will the execution be?”

“A little before sunset,” Laurent murmured.

“I’ll be there.”

“I’ll be the one with the sword.”

“Will it really be over?”

Laurent shrugged.“No.But it will be as over as it will ever be.”Leaning in, he kissed Damen soundly on the mouth.“If you do nothing else today, shave.”

“It can’t be that bad,” Damen replied.

“If you’re looking for a celebratory fuck tonight, I’d shave.I’m not rubbing my skin raw because you’re too lazy to ask someone to shave you.”

Damen couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped him.He circled his arms around Laurent’s waist, not letting him escape, and trailed wet, chafing kisses up and down his face and neck.Wriggling to escape, Laurent elbowed him in the gut.Not hard, not as hard as he normally would, not hard enough to make Damen let go, but he did anyway.Without being asked, he helped Laurent with the rest of the laces and then let him leave, giving a small pathetic smile as he did.

The moment the door closed, Damen sunk down into a chair and tried to imagine Laurent walking down the hallways of Marlas; tried to imagine which turns he made and where he was heading.It kept him sane.As long as he knew that Laurent was in the fort that was slowly but surely becoming a palace, he could make it through the day.

It turned out his imaginings were completely wrong, because the door was opening and Laurent was coming back in.And then he was crossing the room and then he was in Damen’s lap and they were kissing.Not perfunctorily, but passionately, causing a fire to start smoldering low in Damen’s stomach.There was a fierceness and need behind Laurent’s actions and Damen barely held on, his fingers clutching Laurent’s neck hard.

When Laurent finished, he easily extricated himself from Damen’s lap and began to move away without a word.“Oh, I don’t think so,” Damen murmured, snatching Laurent’s wrist.“What was that for?”

“Reassurance,” Laurent said softly.

Damen let go of Laurent’s wrist and didn’t say a word in reply.Everything inside him was still and warm and Damen suddenly knew he would be able to make it through the day.It was hard to say who the reassurance had really been for.

This time, he managed to collect himself and leave the room as well, heading to meetings to assess damage from small riots, change guard rotations, and handle negotiations with Vask.They had just begun, but Damen was hopeful.They’d received a letter from their envoy in Patras yesterday and he’d announced all was well.It hadn’t been a surprise, because Patras had dealt with both Vere and Akielos in the past and had had positive experiences with both Laurent and Damen.Nevertheless, it had eased a fair amount of tension in Laurent.

When those meetings ended, Damen’s heart began to skip in anticipation.Jokaste and Kashel would be here soon.His family.While missing them had been nothing like missing Laurent, it had been a slow and steady ache that he was more than happy to relieve.Skipping down the steps into the courtyard, Damen settled against a wall and waited, gazing up at the clouds in the sky and delighting in the small slivers of sun that sometimes peeked through.

This is what he’d been searching for all along, this feeling, this contentment.Laurent made him happy, there was no question, but having everything finished, Vere and Akielos combined, and his family all together bore contentment, something similar but also very different to happiness.It was the long-term version.Damen could look into the future of his life and be pleased with what he saw there.

The clicks of the portcullis raising sounded in Damen’s ears, closely followed by the pattering of horse’s hooves on stone.Jokaste and Kashel rode into view and Damen smiled.They both looked resplendent in shimmering dresses entirely unsuited for horse riding.The carriage they were supposed to be sitting in was directly behind them.Dashing forward, Damen arrived to help both of them from their horses and then he turned to Jokaste and swept her up into a hug, one she accepted gratefully and with a small, delighted laugh.

“It’s good to see you,” Damen said into her ear.

“And you.You’ve been busy, I hear.”

“Laurent’s the busy one.I was too preoccupied with getting beaten to a pulp.”Before Damen got too wrapped up into a conversation with Jokaste, he turned to Kashel and said, “Welcome to Marlas.You look wonderful.”And she did.Her belly was larger and she was smiling from ear to ear, grabbing Damen’s hand easily and laying it on her stomach.

“We’re both happy to see you,” she said.

Jokaste smiled and said, “I don’t know if you have rooms in mind for the two of us, but I’d like very much if our rooms were side by side.I thoroughly enjoy her company.You should be proud she’s the mother of your child, Damen.”

“I’m sure I am,” Damen replied easily, appraising Jokaste with curious eyes.It wasn’t like her to form attachments so quickly.Her eyes were sparkling with mischief, but she said nothing else, and Damen let it drop for now, instead leading them to their respective rooms and then leaving, allowing them time to get settled.He knew Jokaste would come and find him eventually, so he slipped out into the garden to wait, enjoying an unusually warm day for Northern Akielos in the winter.He suspected that had been the reason Jokaste and Kashel had been out of the stuffy carriage.

Damen hadn’t waited long when she arrived, carrying her skirts in one hand and brushing her long blonde hair over her shoulder with the other.She settled onto the bench beside Damen and asked, “Where’s Laurent?Doesn’t he wish to see me?”

It had been teasing, but Damen’s mood darkened slightly.It couldn’t be helped.“He’s probably torturing Guion and his son.”

Jokaste frowned.“Are you going to tell me what happened?”

Damen did.Every detail.Jokaste listened attentively and then sighed, shaking her head slightly.“How you two lived without me is beyond my understanding,” she murmured.“You do realize that you should just tell him you don’t want Guion and Firmin to be tortured, right?Yes, he’s angry and yes, he’d like to, but he’s not nearly as sadistic as he likes to pretend.He’ll listen to you.You’re not going to anger him.In fact, you’ll probably be saving him from beating himself up about it later.”

“I don’t want them to be tortured?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Why do you even care?” Damen grumbled.“The personal problems of anybody have never been your concern.”

Jokaste turned her face away from Damen’s and gazed at the sky, folding her hands in her lap.“Do you remember when you asked me what I wanted?” she began.Damen nodded.

“I did want all those things.I wanted a husband because I didn’t want to be alone and I wanted my son to be a king someday and I wanted to be your friend because I’ve loved you for as long as I’ve known you, but I didn’t tell you what I really wanted because it scared me.I didn’t even allow myself to think it, until you and Laurent were gone and I had too much time on my hands.I realized just how easily you’d forgiven me and integrated me back into your life.

“The person I was when you first met me allowed the love of her life to be sold into slavery.She bedded his brother to save his life and to win her position, the position she’d always wanted.But, a part of her realized that if she’d just told you the truth, told you what Kastor was planning as Nikandros had, that you would’ve believed her and you would’ve been ready and then you wouldn’t have been sent to Vere as a slave.Now,” Jokaste said, with a small laugh, “I realize that has given you Laurent, but I shouldn’t have done it.I shouldn’t have done that to you, Damen.There are some things more important than position and power and you are one of them.I’m sorry.”

Damen stared at her for a moment and then said, “Where are you going with this?”

Jokaste laughed loudly at that and curled her hand into Damen’s.“What I’m trying to say, I suppose, is that I’m trying to be a better person, a friend you deserve.Someone who wouldn’t have sold you into slavery.Someone who would’ve taken you into account when making her plans and, if she couldn’t find a way to have everything she wanted, would pick you over being a queen.”

“I don’t think you’ve ever been that honest with me in your entire life,” Damen said, appalled.His mouth was hanging open and he knew it was rude, but he couldn’t close it.

“It’s good to hear I’m making progress.”

“Why are you and Kashel so close?” Damen asked.

Jokaste flushed lightly and then murmured, “Well, maybe not entirely.”

“I thought there was something behind that.”

“She really is lovely, that’s not a lie, but it has more to do with the child.She’s leaving, the child isn’t.”

“What do you want with my child?”

“That’s for you to find out.”

“I thought we were being honest.”

“I’m working on it, remember?” she said.“Besides, just ask Laurent.I’m sure he can figure it out.”

Damen sighed and stood.Jokaste let him, smiling knowingly.“Tell him hello for me.Also tell him that I fully intend to beat him at that card game and that we should arrange a time for me to do so.”

“I will.”Before he left, Damen asked, “How’s Phaedrus?”

“Well.He misses you, I think.”

“Good.”He began to stroll away but then paused, turning back.Jokaste raised her eyebrows in an eerily similar way to Laurent and Damen said, “I’m not sure I’ll be able to see you again tonight, so…”

Jokaste waved the rest of the words away.“I’m not going anywhere.I’ve a son that’s to be king someday, after all.”

“That’s probably something you’ll have to duke out with Laurent.”

“I’ll do it over the card game,” she said.

Damen laughed and left, winding his way back through the gardens and down into the dungeons, the air getting colder and colder as he descended the stairs.He knew Lord Lycus, Firmin, and Guion were all in here somewhere and that Laurent was likely with them.But before he even entered the long hallway of cells, he found Laurent, sitting against a wall just outside, his knees bent up into his chest and his chin on his knees.His jaw clenched and Damen knew that Laurent knew he was there, even though he didn’t glance up.Not sure what was happening, Damen sunk against the wall opposite him and waited.

When the wait got to be too long, Damen nudged his foot against Laurent’s.Meeting his eyes, Laurent sighed and murmured, “You’ve ruined me.”

“How did I manage that?”

“By being all…” Laurent waved his hand in Damen’s general direction, “…you.”

“Normally, I find your skills of explanation superior to most.”

“I know you don’t want me to hurt Guion or Firmin.They’re dying.That’s enough for you.”

“But you want to hurt them.”

Laurent nodded.

“So why are you sitting out here?”

Laurent rolled his eyes and slipped his head into his knees, eyes vanishing.“Don’t be pointlessly obtuse.It’s not helping my mood.”Damen purposefully said nothing, knowing Laurent would fill the silence with words.He was uncomfortable.It was what he did.With more emphasis, Laurent said, “ _You_ don’t want to hurt them.”

Oh.Damen mentally slapped himself.“So, you’ve been sitting out here debating the pros and cons for hours?”

“Yes.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“No,” Laurent said miserably.“You could talk about something that has nothing to do with Guion, I suppose.I might as well use you since you’re here.Why are you here, by the way?”

“I came to ask you to not torture Guion and Firmin.”

Laurent laughed with derision.“That’s perfect.Of course you did.”

“Are you going to tell me what’s really happening right now?”

“No.”

“Alright,” Damen sighed and then he launched into the story of Jokaste and Kashel’s arrival.He talked about Kashel and her pregnancy and her newfound friendship with Jokaste.He went into great depth about the strange conversation he’d had with Jokaste and that made Laurent laugh.

“Would you have predicted she’d enjoy motherhood?” Laurent asked.

Damen smiled.Of course.Kashel was leaving to return to her camp and the child would be motherless.While Damen was confident that he and Laurent could take care of most everything, Jokaste was making sure she infiltrated their child’s life, just as they’d done to hers.It was payback, in a sense.“Honestly, no,” Damen said.“There was always so much going on with her, but it doesn’t surprise me, either.She can be incredibly gentle.”

“You would know.”

“Yes,” Damen said, trying not to laugh at the whisper of jealousy in Laurent’s voice.“So can you, you know.”

Laurent glared at him, before staring down at his hands.It was silent between them for a long time.Then, voice cracking slightly in the damp air, “Does wanting to make me a bad person, Damen?”

Automatically, Damen shook his head.The idea of Laurent thinking he was a bad person made him cringe.Damen slid across the floor to Laurent’s wall and slipped an arm around his shoulders, bringing him into his chest.“No,” he said, deciding this deserved both actions and words.“They hurt you.It’s not wrong to want them to truly understand what they did to you.Acting on it is another matter.”Then Damen smiled, “As long as I’ve known you, you’ve been harder than most, but I would never consider calling you a bad person.In fact, it repulses me.You are the best person I’ve ever known, Laurent.You know that.”

“And you would still think that if I got up right now and went in there?”

“Yes.I’d probably be angry with you, but that’s not the same thing.”

Laurent laughed softly and then stood.Damen’s heart began to beat faster, but then Laurent extended a hand to him and said, “Let’s return to our rooms until the execution.It smells foul down here.”

“I’m proud of you,” Damen replied.

“Don’t make me pick differently.” 

“You worry about an awful lot, don’t you?”

Laurent didn’t look at him as he grumbled, “I didn’t use to.”

 

The walk back to their rooms was silent.Halfway there, Laurent reached for his hand.It ended up being so Damen could steer them through people while Laurent thought.He was in a mood that Damen would typically leave him alone for.

When they strolled into their rooms, however, the mood disappeared instantly.A smile burst onto Laurent’s face and he jogged across the room, before sliding to the floor and picking up Anais into a hug, one that ended with screeches and scratches, not that Laurent minded.He simply followed her, pouring affection, until she deemed to return it, actually pleased to see him.Damen was happy to watch.

Eventually, she curled up in his lap and Laurent stroked her fur, sitting in the middle of their bedroom.He was whispering something into her fur.When he finished, Damen went to join them, extending his hand for Anais to sniff before sitting on the floor.

Damen sighed.

“What?” Laurent asked, eyes open and curious.

“She’s still ugly.”

Laurent laughed loudly and slapped Damen hard on the arm.“She’s perfect,” he murmured, scratching behind her ears.“Aren’t you, Anais?”She nuzzled against his hand instead of biting it, which was new.Maybe she really had missed them. 

Reaching over, Damen ran a thumb across a cut on Laurent’s cheek.Laurent’s eyes followed the motion and then he stared into Damen’s eyes.“You have a scratch,” Damen murmured.“It’s making your cheek red.”

A natural flush joined that and Damen leaned over to kiss the scratch.“You’re beautiful,” he said into the skin there, traveling down Laurent’s cheek to his jaw.“So beautiful.”

Turning his face, Laurent interrupted a kiss meant for the line of his jaw with his lips.His hands left Anais and gathered into Damen’s hair.In a moment of vulnerability, likely helped by Anais, Laurent whispered, “Promise me it will be this for the rest of our lives.”He didn’t wait for a response, though, he simply kissed Damen again, mouth entreating.There was a harsh meow, followed by Anais rushing under the bed and then Laurent was crawling into his lap.Damen reached down for Laurent’s hips and pulled him taut against his body and then left his hands there, rubbing circles with his thumbs.

Laurent tilted his mouth away and leaned his forehead against Damen’s, his breathing labored.Slowly, Damen opened his eyes and saw Laurent’s were still closed.He really did have long lashes.“Laurent?” he said.

“Hmm.”His eyes remained closed.

“It will be this for the rest of our lives.I haven’t had any doubts about that since you said my name while we were making love.Not one.I can’t even remember what living without you feels like.”

“A lot easier.”

“Laurent…”

“I’m talking about my life.”

Damen laughed and kissed Laurent once more.“I try and be romantic…”

“The moment had passed.”

“Oh, had it?”

Laurent nodded seriously, crawling from Damen’s lap.“Can we go riding tomorrow?It’s been awhile since I’ve had a proper one.”

“Yes.Let’s ride back to the ocean.I miss it and it will be nice to see it without the possibility of death looming over it.”

“We’ll have to build a castle there.”

“We have Ios.There’s no need.”

“Where’s your ambition, lover?Wouldn’t it be nice to build our own castle?Something that’s ours and no one else’s?”

“It seems like a waste of money,” Damen said.

“I think we deserve to waste some money.It would be much closer than Ios, for one, which means it would be easier to take Phaedrus and your child when we go.And when we get older, multi-day rides will seem much more tedious and I just know, when you’re older, you’re going to be the type of person who can stare at the ocean for hours.You’re practically already there.”

“Are you calling me old?”

Laurent didn’t respond to that, instead smiling, eyes sparkling.It was easy to join Laurent in his mood, especially now that they were talking so easily about the future, in a way they hadn’t before.No one could stop them from building that castle any longer and that was a relief.He was about to say just that, when there was a knock on the door.

Nikandros’ voice drifted through the door.“We bring food and company.And please hurry.Kashel has taken a liking to me and I’m trying to hide.”

Jord started laughing hysterically and when Damen opened the door, he was still laughing, leaning against the wall with a hand covering his mouth.He met Damen’s eyes and doubled over.Nikandros ushered him in quickly and then shut the door with a slam.Damen watched, amused, before saying, “You do realize that if she shows up here I’m going to let her in, correct?”

“Yes, but you can provide a buffer.What kind of friend would you be if you didn’t?” Jord was still laughing.Damen hadn’t ever seen him lose control like this.It was incredibly endearing.Perhaps he and Nikandros had always made sense, but it had never made as much sense as it did right now.

“Where’s the food?” Laurent asked.

Nikandros glanced around, as though he’d set it down somewhere.“Oh, I only said that in case the company wasn’t enough.I really needed you to open the door.”

Jord’s laugh had begun to peter off, but at Nikandros’ words, it started up again.Laurent rose from the floor and slapped Jord in the back of the head.“We understand it’s funny.Do shut up.”

There were tears rolling from the corners of his eyes, but he managed to stop, pleading for forgiveness.“I finally understand why Nik was so good with women,” he said.“He is incapable of saying no to them.”It took visible effort for him to not laugh again.

Nikandros glared at him and then slumped down into a chair.“She was very persistent.And I don’t know any Vaskian.What was I supposed to do?”

“Are you telling me you ran?” Damen asked.

“Yes.”

Jord started laughing again and Damen joined in.It was ridiculous and completely Nikandros.He looked absolutely miserable, which only made it worse.Only he could muster that expression after something as inconsequential as this.Through laughs, Damen said, “I can tell her that you’re with Jord, if you’d like.I know enough Vaskian for that.”

“Really?Would you?”

“Of course.”

“Tell her it has nothing to do with her.She’s gorgeous and if I wasn’t…”

“I’m going to ask you to stop there,” Jord said mildly.

“Not nearly as gorgeous as you, love.”

Laurent groaned and whispered, “All I wanted was food and I get this.”

Jord strolled to the door and told a guard that the king wanted food and then came back.Laurent shot him a grateful smile and then sunk back to the floor, trying to get Anais out from under the bed.“How are you two?” Jord murmured to Damen.

“Alright.I think he’s panicking a bit, not that he would admit it.”

“Why?”

“Once we kill Guion, there will be nothing stopping him from being happy and I think it’s scaring him.”

“Why would that scare him?” Nikandros asked, entering the conversation out of nowhere.“Isn’t that what everyone wants?To be happy?”

Damen nodded.“Probably, but he doesn’t know what it’s like to have it long term.I’m not sure he believes it even exists, not really, and that’s what’s scaring him.I think he believes that, inevitably, he won’t be happy again, but that it won’t have anything to do with someone trying to keep us apart, that it will come from inside us.”

“He’s an idiot,” Nikandros scoffed, loudly.Jord rolled his eyes and Laurent looked up at them from the floor curiously.

“Who’s an idiot?” he asked.

“Nikandros,” Damen replied, glaring at him.

“I thought that was obvious,” Laurent said, returning his attention to Anais, who was slowly crawling out from under the bed and cautiously sniffing the air.There was another knock on the door, sending Anais back, and Jord went to see who it was.

Jokaste strode into the room with Phaedrus in her arms.Without thought, Damen approached her and stared down at Phaedrus, who was asleep.“He’s bigger,” Damen murmured.

“They grow, you know,” she said.

“You scared Anais,” Laurent said.

“I’m sorry,” Jokaste replied, seriously.“I came to ask when the execution was.I want to be there.I also thought you and Damen might want to see Phaedrus and I think I was right.”She smiled up at Damen and handed Phaedrus to him.Damen jiggled Phaedrus lightly and cooed in his face. 

“What is he doing?” Nikandros asked Jord, appalled.

Laurent stood and joined Damen, brushing Phaedrus’ hair back and forth across his forehead.There was a light smile on his face and Damen heard Nikandros say, “And what is he doing?”

“Some people like children, Nik,” Jord replied.He also sidled up beside Damen and glanced down at the baby.“He’s a beautiful baby.Truly.And I can tell he’s going to be very loved.”Jokaste smiled at him gratefully.

“Don’t tell me you like children,” Nikandros said.

Jord shrugged.“They’re alright.I think I like this one.”

“I’m suddenly very grateful you aren’t a woman.”

“Oh, is my cock not enough for you?”

Nikandros spluttered and shut up, staring at all of them disgustedly.Damen gave Phaedrus to Laurent and went to join Nikandros, sitting in the chair beside him.They knocked their knees together and Damen smiled at him.“Thank you,” he murmured, “For everything.You and Jord didn’t have to do what you did and I don’t think I’ve ever properly thanked you for that.You can both have a month away.Go somewhere.Relax.”

“I was going to say you don’t need to thank me, but I’ll take that month.But, you really don’t, Damen.You know I would do anything for you.Drink poison, jump off a cliff, tell Laurent I like him, anything.”

Damen laughed and watched Laurent with Phaedrus.It was as heartbreaking as always.He was wearing the smile that said he thought he shouldn’t be smiling, but he couldn’t stop himself from doing so.His strength of will was no match for Phaedrus and it was incredible to watch.Nikandros noticed, too.“I didn’t even know he could look at someone other than you like that.”

And that was how they spent the rest of the time before the execution.Damen’s family together, laughing and smiling, passing around Phaedrus, eating the food that finally arrived, and the others providing their own version of the story Damen had told Jokaste.She was the perfect audience, gasping and commenting in all the right places and by the time Laurent stood, declaring it was time, the execution wasn’t enough to ruin their moods.They all walked to the main courtyard together, chattering away about Nikandros’ dislike of children.Laurent, however, was silent and that silence had a presence and Damen noticed.He quickly exited the conversation and reached over to hold Laurent’s hand.“Are you alright?” he murmured.

“I’m about to sever heads from bodies.Not entirely.”

“You don’t have to do it yourself.”

“Yes, I do.”

Damen nodded and they finally entered the courtyard, the conversation ending instantly.There were swarms of people, crowding around a block of stone with a sword resting beside it.They started clamoring for a view of royalty when they walked out and silently, Laurent dropped Damen’s hand, walking out to the stone block.He gripped the sword and then waited.Damen and the others remained at the top of the stairs to watch.Not once did Damen drop his gaze away from Laurent, just in case Laurent needed someone to look at.He may have been standing out there alone, but Damen didn’t want him to actually feel alone.

And then Guion and Firmin were being walked out.Guion’s head was high, but Firmin’s wasn’t.He looked as though he were about to be sick and he was almost definitely crying.Damen allowed himself to feel bad for him.He remembered the screams coming from the tent at the battlefield.That was a son who only wanted to impress and please his father.A large part of Damen believed he didn’t deserve to be punished for that.But Damen had been trying to do the same when he’d killed Auguste and that hadn’t been the right thing to do.Firmin had still played a part in the slaughter of hundreds of people.He was as much to blame for that as Damen was for killing Auguste.Still, as he watched Firmin kneel and lay his head on the block, Damen realized he didn’t want to watch.

Laurent bent down and murmured something to him and then in one quick motion, he removed Firmin’s head.Guion let out a half-scream and Damen caught the smile Laurent threw at Guion.There was no room for kindness there, not from Laurent.In fact, Laurent waved away the guards holding Guion and forced him down onto the block himself.The whispered words he gave Guion lasted much longer and they resulted in Guion looking more terrified than he’d already been.Damen heard Nikandros inhale sharply beside him.Glancing to his side, he saw mildly horrified expressions on Nikandros and Jord’s faces.But not Jokaste.She wasn’t surprised, nor was she disgusted.Everything about her face was a study in cool impassiveness.It rivaled Laurent’s.

Then, in another quick motion, Guion was no longer alive.Laurent handed the sword off and walked up the steps to stand beside Damen.He looked out at the crowd before him and said, “That is what we do to traitors.”

And then he left.Damen let him and turned back to the crowd and gave a short speech about Verlos and his love for the people and Laurent.He told them what had happened during the battle and what to expect from the future.It was, essentially, his version of damage control.Laurent’s sentence had been threatening and that was not what Damen was going to leave his people with.When he finished, he went back inside, Jokaste and the others following him quietly.

“I want to get drunk,” Nikandros said.“Who wants to get drunk?”

Jord nodded and looked to Jokaste, who shrugged.“Why not?” she said, “I’ll go and feed Phaedrus and then come and find you.”She walked away and Nikandros turned to Damen, his eyes questioning.

“I want to be with Laurent,” he admitted, “And I don’t think he’ll want to get drunk.If he does, we’ll find you.”

“Alright,” Nikandros replied, knowing perfectly well he wouldn’t see Damen tonight.“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

Damen left his friends and returned to his rooms.He found Laurent in bed, Anais curled up on his lap, with a book in hand.He set it down when he heard the door shut and watched as Damen removed most of his clothes and slid into bed beside him.Even though Damen already knew the answer, he would feel bad if he didn’t ask.“Nikandros, Jord, and Jokaste are getting drunk if you want to join them.”

“I’m alright.”

“I figured.”Damen sunk into his pillow and stared up at the ceiling.Laurent went back to reading. 

Lifting himself up on an elbow, Damen stared at Laurent, watching as his hair fell into his face and as his eyes lighted up at certain moments.He watched as long fingers reverently turned pages and lips flickered into small smiles.Observing Laurent read made Damen love books.It was a beautiful and intimate experience.

“You’re staring,” Laurent said, as he flipped another page.

“I can’t help it.”

“You’re hopeless.”

“What did you say to Guion and Firmin?” Damen asked, hoping enough time had passed, so that it was something Laurent would be willing to talk about.

With a little groan, Laurent set the book back down.“You know, I like when I can read without interruption.”

“Regret marrying me?”

Laurent smiled.“Always,” he said.It came out sounding like _never_. 

Damen was about to suggest that Laurent hadn’t answered his question, when Laurent spoke.“I told Firmin that I was sorry.Something tells me that he didn’t deserve the father he had.Not that the world has ever cared about being fair.To Guion, on the other hand, I said a lot of unpleasant things which I will not repeat.You don’t need to know and I don’t want to say them again.”

Satisfied with that answer, Damen leaned over and pecked Laurent on the mouth.“I like this,” he said.

“What?”

“Lying here and being allowed to.No messengers will rush in while we’re sleeping and I won’t have to get up in the morning if I don’t want to.If this was all we’d managed to earn, I would still be okay with the outcome.”

“You are a king, you know,” Laurent said, “You’re going to have to get up in the morning.If nothing else, I will make you.”

“You’re no fun.”

“No.That would be you.Fun usually involves getting out of bed.”

“Not always, though,” Damen laughed, kissing Laurent again, this time much softer and longer.Laurent sunk into the kiss and gripped Damen’s biceps lightly. 

When Laurent pulled away, he murmured, “I’d prefer not to tonight.I’ve decided hands should not kill and love in the same day.”

“Then we won’t,” Damen said, kissing him once more, before falling back to his side of the bed.“So, my love, what’s on the docket tomorrow?”

“I thought we could work on ending slavery.”

“That will cause riots.”

“Yes.But, haven’t you missed them?It’s been almost a day since the last one, Damen.That’s far too long.”

“Ending slavery sounds like a very good idea,” Damen replied.

“Good.”

“Read to me?”

“Of course.”And Laurent’s voice began to spin a tale.A love story, full of violence, betrayal, and horror, that was only redeemed because the two lovers never once gave up on each other.Laurent read and read, until late into the night.Until Damen fell asleep, his head resting on Laurent’s lap.


	32. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to warn you...these are going to be kind of long. Okay:  
> Firstly, I'm one hundred percent working on another fic. I am exactly two and a half chapters in. It's a modern road trip au because I'm a nerd and also because I wanted to write my own version of my children falling in love. I don't know exactly when I'll have it up but it will be soon.  
> Secondly, phew, okay, I'm already kind of crying, but here goes...all of you, I don't care if you just kudosed or left one hit or bookmarked or commented, all of you have completely and utterly changed my life. I now write every day because it makes me feel weird if I don't, I know that I can finish something, I have oodles more confidence, and I understand now that it's entirely possible that my lifelong dream is actually sort of doable. You never know. I'm literally going to get a tattoo to memorialize this, because of all it's done for me. And that is entirely because of you. I couldn't have finished this without your support and love. There's absolutely no way. So when I say thank you and that I love you, I need you to understand that I mean those things and I mean them like fifty times more than any normal person.  
> And now, to make this sort of official: this is it. The last chapter. It was a struggle because I really didn't want to write it and have this be over, but here it is. On the five month anniversary and also my birthday. I'm weird like that and like a bunch of awesome things to happen at once. I'm an all or nothing sort of girl.  
> I can always be found @itsthegameilike on tumblr and I will always love talking to any of you about anything. For the rest of goddamn time.  
> I love you and thank you. <3333333  
> Enjoy! Seriously. Enjoy. This is like 99.9% fluff.

** Five years later **

 

“Daddy?”A high, quavering voice was followed by the sound of a door creaking open.

Laurent groaned into Damen’s sleep-warm shoulder.“I’m not awake.”

“You just spoke.”

“So did you.”

With a sigh, Damen bit the tip of Laurent’s nose and then rolled into a sitting position.He rubbed his eyes clear of sleep and said, “What is it, Augustine?”

“My room is dark and scary.I can’t sleep.”

Damen turned slightly towards Laurent and murmured, “She wants to sleep with us.Again.”

“Walk her back to her room and put her back to bed.She’s going to have to be able to sleep alone eventually.”

“Those were long sentences.You walk her back.”

“Have I ever told you that I love you?”

“Let’s just let her sleep here.It’s our first night in Arles, she doesn’t know the room or the castle.I can’t blame her for being scared.”

“Fine.”

Augustine was still standing at the door, the light from the hallway silhouetting her in her flouncy nightdress.Slipping out of bed, cringing as his feet touched the cold ground, Damen crept across the room and gathered her in his arms.Her head slipped into his neck and she giggled as he dipped her once before settling her on the bed.Automatically, she crawled across the empty space and snuggled up against Laurent, who flung an arm around her sleepily and murmured, “Thanks for waking me.”

Damen laughed softly, unsure if their daughter understood sarcasm.If she didn’t, she would soon, because that was Laurent’s favorite language.Sliding back into bed, Damen let Augustine slip her feet against his thigh.He kissed her forehead gently and said, “Good night, sweetheart.I love you.”

“Love you, Daddy,” she breathed, the words slightly slurred.It wasn’t long before she was asleep.Both Laurent and Damen were wide awake now, however.Laurent had never mastered the ability of falling back to sleep once woken and Damen had gotten out of bed.His body was still shivering.It would be a while before he could try sleeping again.

Laurent didn’t move, though.He kept his arm around Augustine and looked up at Damen in the darkness.“I never see Phaedrus running in here.”

“He has Jokaste.All Augustine has is us,” Damen whispered back.

“I just want to make it though one night without being woken up.”

“Take a nap this afternoon.We’re on a sabbatical, remember?”

“I can’t.I have to organize the party.” 

“It’s a ball, Laurent,” Damen laughed.They’d already had this argument and it had yet to be resolved.There was to be dancing and music and food and small talk.Part of it was an attempt to find Jokaste a husband, but mostly it was to celebrate Verlos’ fifth year as a kingdom.They were in Arles because they’d yet to have a break from ruling in Marlas, which meant Damen hadn’t seen snow yet.Laurent was determined he would.

“Party.I don’t attend balls.”

“Let alone plan them, yes, I know.Leave it to Jokaste to handle.She won’t mind.”

“Fine, but only if you nap with me.”

“You know I will.”

Laurent yawned and stared down at Augustine.Softly, he ran his fingers through her curly brown hair, over and over again.Happy to watch him do it, Damen sunk back down into the bed and let the warmth of his daughter and his husband lull him back into sleepiness.Even in the dark, the moment glowed, a soft light thrumming in Damen’s body; a light that had been present for years now.“I’m going back to sleep,” he said, “Are you alright with that?I can stay up if you want.” Damen knew Laurent was rolling his eyes. 

“Go to sleep, Damen.I can entertain myself.” 

“Mm,” Damen hummed contently, “By stroking the hair of our daughter.”

“Are you implying I’ve gone soft?”

“Completely.”

“I hate you.”

“I know.”Damen shut his eyes and drifted back into sleep.

 

Damen was woken in the early hours of the morning, the sun barely up.Augustine was sitting on his lap and pressing up and down on his chest with her hands.Damen caught Laurent’s eyes, who was sprawled on the bed next to him and grinning.“Morning, lover.”

“You could’ve stopped her,” Damen groaned.

“Could’ve.Consider it payback for last night.”

Reaching up, Damen lightly encircled Augustine’s wrists and rolled her off of him.Feeling indulgent, he tickled her stomach lightly, sending her small legs kicking.Screaming and giggling, she was pleading for him to stop and Damen did, laughing warmly.Laurent had gotten off the bed while the tickling commenced and now he was back, a tray of food in hand.He set it in the middle of the bed, then curled his knees beneath him and began picking at the cheese. 

“What do you want to do today, sweetheart?” Damen asked, running a hand through Augustine’s hair.Her chunky fingers dug through the bread for a slice she liked and then she began to eat it.Neither Laurent nor Damen pressed her.They ate as well and exchanged glances over the top of her head.They both wanted her to want something that didn’t include them, because they were exhausted and unlikely to say no if she asked for their presence.It wasn’t that they had an issue with saying no to her, Laurent in particular, but if she wanted their company, they would want to be there.

“I want to help plan the party.”

“Your mother is in charge of that today,” Laurent said.“I bet you could convince your brother to help, too.”

That made Augustine smile and clap her hands.She loved Phaedrus.And he loved her.Damen hadn’t been more grateful for anything in his entire life.It was hard to separate them.Sometimes, Damen could sense it making Laurent sad, because he saw something of he and Auguste in them. 

“Can we start now?” she asked.

Damen laughed.“I don’t think either of them will be awake yet.”

“Can I go wake them?”

Laurent bit his lip to stop himself from smiling.“Why don’t you?I’m sure they’d love it.”

“Wait a while.Your father is being vindictive.Don’t listen to him.”

“Vindictive?” she asked, sounding out the word slowly, slurring the end.

“Mean,” Damen said.

Laurent rolled his eyes.“Your father is over-simplifying, as usual.It’s not just mean, it also connotes revenge.I’m not being vindictive, I’m simply being irritating.”

Augustine had already moved onto something else by the time Laurent was done explaining.One of her favorite things to do was to compare his and Laurent’s hands together and she did that now, spinning them back and forth and pinning them against each other.Laurent weathered it and Damen relished it.She was incredibly inquisitive and endlessly curious.

“Where’s Anais?” she asked, still playing with their hands.

“I don’t know,” Damen said.

“Why don’t you go look for her?” Laurent added.

She leaped off the bed, almost toppling over when she landed on her feet, but Damen steadied her.Then she ran off, unconcerned, across the room to look under a couch.Laurent laid his back against Damen’s chest and sighed deeply.“Someone should tell Jokaste she’s party-planning with the children today.”

“I’ll go tell her before I have my bath.You should come with me.”

“Who’s going to watch Augustine?”

“We do have guards and lady’s maids, you know.”

Laurent’s lips folded into a thin line.He didn’t need to say anything.Laurent trusted almost no one with Augustine.The only people he trusted were Jord and Jokaste.Nikandros was allowed to be with Jord, but because he’d shown a general disgust for children, Laurent didn’t trust him to handle it alone.Damen had no idea what he thought would happen if a lady’s maid watched her for a little while, but it wasn’t something they were ever going to experiment with.Because he thought, perhaps, it had something to do with the Regent.Laurent had been left alone when his family had died and had proceeded to get taken advantage of.It was possible Laurent wasn’t ever going to have Augustine out of his sight.“Jord and Nikandros.They’re awake.They had guard duty early this morning.”

“Alright,” Laurent said.He slumped further into Damen and yawned.“I could use a bath.”

Damen kissed the top of his head.Augustine was currently digging around under the couch.It was likely she’d found Anais.She had yet to discover that trying to drag Anais out from under something was impossible.It only ended in scratches and, for Augustine, crying.

There was a knock on the door.Laurent called for them to enter.He didn’t move from Damen’s chest.That spoke to how tired he was, because typically, if he didn’t know who was on the other side, he straightened himself and put on his untouchable persona.

Luckily for him, it was simply Jokaste.She had a hand on Phaedrus’ shoulder, but quickly let go, when it became obvious that Phaedrus had noticed Augustine was awake.Without delay, he sprinted over to her.Augustine began gesturing and then they were both trying to drag Anais out.Walking over, Jokaste sat on the edge of the bed and said, “Do they ever sleep?”

Laurent shook his head.“You’re planning the party today.There’s a meeting with a florist and you’ll need to oversee the decorating.Just make sure it isn’t ugly.”

“Are you sure you trust me?” she teased.

“No.”

Jokaste laughed.Then, “Fine.But only if you take the children tomorrow.I need a nap, too.”

Laurent groaned.“I very literally never asked for this.” 

“You say that every day,” Jokaste replied.

“It doesn’t stop being true.”

“We’ll take them tomorrow,” Damen said.“Do you mind watching them now while Laurent and I go have a bath?”

“Not at all.”

“Daddy!” Phaedrus shrieked, running up to Laurent and sticking out his palm.There was a thin red scratch on it that was swelling.He was allergic to cats.It didn’t stop him, though.Laurent bent down and stared at the scratch, holding Phaedrus’ hand with both of his.Damen smiled as he watched.Laurent complained every day about having to take care of other people, but he loved both of them unconditionally.

“Not going to scar.”It was why they loved him so much.He took everything they said and did so seriously.

“How did you and Daddy get all those scars?It’s soooo hard.”

Damen laughed and Laurent said, “A lot of pain.More pain than you’ve felt in your entire life.”

“Wow,” Phaedrus murmured.“Don’t people die from lots and lots of pain?”

Laurent shook his head seriously.“No, they don’t.They can faint, but, usually, they don’t die.In fact…”

Damen laid a hand on Laurent’s shoulder.It was an oft-used gesture that told Laurent to stop talking.The one thing he wasn’t good at was knowing what to say and what not to say.He simply told the truth, all of it, and Jokaste and Damen had decided years ago that there were certain things children didn’t need to know about.Let them be children.

Phaedrus didn’t seem to mind that Laurent had stopped talking.He turned to Damen and said, “Daddy, can I see your scars?”Laurent took that moment to get up and ask a guard to prepare a bath. It didn’t take long, though, and he sat back down on the bed quietly.Out of habit, Damen watched him, trying to judge his mood.Laurent gave him an imperceptible nod, but didn’t meet Damen’s eyes.

Sighing, Damen said, “Again?”

Phaedrus nodded and Augustine ran up when she heard the word scars.Anais had escaped their clutches.“Alright,” Damen said.Flipping onto his stomach, Damen laid down on the bed and pushed his loose shirt up his back.Laurent helped them up onto the bed and they ran their fingers over the scars.“These are the ones Daddy gave you, right?”

“Really?” Augustine asked.

“Who told him?” Laurent asked.

Jokaste shrugged, eyes sparkling.When Laurent glared at her, she quailed slightly. “What?” she murmured, “He was being very persistent, tugging on my dress and asking over and over again.I wasn’t going to lie to him.”

“Did it take lots and lots of pain?” Phaedrus asked.

Damen could hear Laurent retreating within himself.The scars were not something he liked to talk about, let alone see.Having to explain them to Phaedrus and Augustine was beyond his capabilities.Damen rolled over, both of the children wailing in disappointment as he did, and then he pulled both of them down against his chest.“It did,” he replied.

“Why did Daddy make you pain?”

“Hurt,” Laurent murmured, looking down at his fingers.Damen reached over and grasped one of his hands, bringing it to his mouth and kissing it, which made Augustine and Phaedrus giggle.On the other hand, it made the flicker of a smile appear on Laurent’s face.

“We didn’t used to love each other,” Damen began, unsure how he was going to truthfully answer this question.He didn’t like telling them that it was complicated and he would explain some other day.“I…I killed his brother and when we first met, that was all he knew about me.He wanted revenge and so he did this to me.”

“I wanted to kill him, actually.That was vindictive.”Damen laughed.Leave it to Laurent to continue a lesson in the middle of a conversation like this.

Phaedrus’ mouth was hanging open and then he sat up on Damen’s chest and threw his arms around Augustine.“Nobody better kill my sister.”

“And nobody will,” Damen said.“Now get off of me.Your daddies would like to go take a bath.They’re dirty.”

Laurent scoffed, “Say what you like, lover, but I’m never dirty.”

That made Phaedrus and Augustine laugh as they spilled off of Damen and onto the bed.Jokaste gathered them up in her arms and blew raspberries into their arms, which only made them laugh louder.While they were distracted, Laurent and Damen snuck out.The instant they were beyond their bedroom door, they slumped against the wall, Laurent leaning his head on Damen’s shoulder.“I’m so tired,” he murmured.

“I know.”

“My brain isn’t working.”

“I know.”

“I don’t ever want to have that conversation with them.”

“I know.”

“Stop saying ‘I know’,” Laurent said, digging a finger into Damen’s side.“I don’t care if you do know me, I don’t like feeling known.”

Damen resisted the temptation to repeat himself again, but Laurent didn’t miss him thinking about it.He dug his finger in deeper, making it hurt, and then tugged Damen away from the wall and towards the baths. 

“Are we really alone right now?” Damen asked.

“Can you see anybody else?”

Damen glared at the back of his head.“Can’t you take a moment and celebrate our aloneness with me?”

“Oh, is that what you were doing?”

Damen was about to snap at Laurent, but then he looked over his shoulder, a smile lighting up every plane of his face.There was no snapping at that.Instead, Damen smiled back and leaned forward to peck him on the mouth. 

They walked past the halls that used to contain Laurent’s harem and Damen grimaced at it.“I hate this place,” he sighed.

“That’s not surprising.I knew there had to be a reason we’ve avoided it for years.”

“I was not avoiding it.”

“Yes you were.Every time I brought it up, you changed the subject of the conversation and never gave me an answer.”

“I have very few good memories of here.”

“Let’s make some, then.”

Damen stopped Laurent in the hall and pressed him up against the wall.“It would be prudent of us to reach the baths at some point,” Laurent sighed.But, he slung his arms around Damen’s neck and stayed in place, looking into Damen’s eyes easily.

“I can’t believe you just said that,” Damen whispered, keeping the moment between them.“I don’t know why I’m surprised, but I am.”

“You’re surprised I think we should actually bathe when we say we’re going to?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

Instead of answering, Laurent kissed him, arching his back off the wall so that his body pressed into Damen’s.It was so familiar, everything about it, the seriousness of the kiss, like every swipe of his tongue and suck of Damen’s bottom lip was exactly what he meant to do, the weight of his arms around Damen’s neck, and the feel of his hair tickling Damen’s hands cupping Laurent’s neck.There was nothing new about it, but it made Damen feel home.Instantly, he was quiet and calm, no thoughts disturbing him.Against Laurent’s lips, Damen murmured, “I think I’m still falling in love with you.”

Laurent pulled away and rolled his eyes, kissing Damen on the chin and then resumed walking.With his face turned forwards, Laurent said, “Good.”

When they made it to the baths, Laurent stripped and slid into the bath as quickly as possible.It was cold in the castle.Damen couldn’t blame him, but he went slower, nonetheless, because Laurent was staring at him.He looked almost bored, but Damen knew he wasn’t.Over the years, Laurent’s impassive facade had become more about teasing Damen than because he felt like he had to.And that became apparent when Damen slid into the tub and Laurent gave him a fond smile and said, “Thank you for the show.” 

“Anything for you.”

“It must’ve been cold.”

“My fingers and toes are burning,” Damen replied.

“Shall I warm them up for you?” Laurent asked, taking one of Damen’s hands and slipping two fingers into his mouth, sucking lightly. 

“I think the bath water was doing a better job.”

Laurent swirled his tongue around the fingers and only removed them from his mouth to smile when Damen’s breath hitched.“The water can’t do that,” Laurent said.

“No,” Damen laughed, slipping further into the water, trying to cover as much skin as possible.“I never want to move,” he murmured, closing his eyes.The warmth of the water was beyond pleasant and leaving would be miserable.Damen was trying not to think about it.

“Me neither,” Laurent said, indulging Damen for once.It was all he said, but Damen knew exactly why.It was about the only time during the day they were truly alone.Most of the time, it wasn’t with each other, however.Normally, they took baths in shifts, because, typically, they didn’t give both children to Jokaste all day. 

Sensing how valuable this was, Laurent curled into Damen’s body, tossing one of Damen’s arms over his shoulders.“Will you keep me from drowning if I sleep?”

“What will you give me?”

“Absolutely nothing.Unfortunately for you, I already know the answer to that question.”Laurent closed his eyes, nuzzling his cheek into Damen’s side.Damen kissed the top of his head and tightened his grip on Laurent’s shoulders.

“This is nice,” he said.

Laurent hummed in response.Damen could feel when he fell asleep.He made sure to keep Laurent propped up and only once the bath water was cold did he shake Laurent awake and help him out of the bath.They hadn’t done any washing, but it hardly mattered.That’s not what the baths were usually about these days.

They got back to the room and saw that Jokaste had already taken Phaedrus and Augustine away.Laurent didn’t even consider options.He went straight to the bed and collapsed there on his stomach.It was entirely undignified and Damen couldn’t help laughing and saying exactly what he thought.Laurent groaned into a pillow and murmured, “There’s no point pretending around you.You know better.”Then, “I’m so goddamn tired.Don’t stick your cock into anyone else, please.”

“I can still stick it in you, can’t I?”

“Fuck off.”

Damen laid down beside him and nudged their shoulders together.“Can I stick it in you right now?”

Laurent laughed and couldn’t stop.His entire body was shaking.It was muffled by the pillow, but Damen knew it was as hard as he could laugh.Even now, it sent a small swell of pride through Damen.There was no other person in the world who could do this to Laurent.It wasn’t even a contest.When he finally finished, Laurent turned his head to Damen, blue eyes meeting brown, and said, “That’s the best you can do?Would you like to know how aroused I am right now?Not at all.Try again.”

“Five years of marriage has earned me absolutely nothing.”

“That was abysmal, Damen.”

“It was a natural transition.”

Laurent snorted and smashed his face back into the pillow.“I don’t care if it was natural.I am in physical pain because of that.”

Damen raised himself up on his elbows and began sweeping a hand through Laurent’s hair.Technically, it was to brush it away from his ear, but once Damen’s hands were in Laurent’s hair, there was no stopping.Not consciously, anyway.Bending down, he put his lips right next to the uncovered ear and whispered, “Do you want me to beg?”

“Better.”

“Please…let me make love to you.I’ll go slow, so slow that you’ll be the one begging.Please, Laurent,” he breathed.

Damen heard his breath coming slightly faster and he almost burst into laughter when Laurent rolled over and said, “Oh, very well.Have at it.”Laurent’s control was hanging on by a very thin thread and they both knew it.

Damen kissed him, fingers now clutching the damp hair, and he moved so he was above Laurent on all fours.As he promised, it wasn’t hurried.The kisses only deepened when Laurent wanted them to, his arms coming up around Damen’s neck and his head tilting further back into the pillow.His lips were wet and warm and Damen sighed into it, never once making Laurent reach for him. 

Eventually, Laurent sat up and began working on the laces of his jacket.Damen was always impressed that he managed to do that and kiss Damen at the same time, but he did.In fact, this time, he managed to remove most of their clothes with very little help from Damen.When they were naked, Damen rolled off of Laurent and took a moment to trace the line of his body with warm, sure hands.Laurent allowed it for a while, but then he slid on top of Damen, one knee between Damen’s thighs and kissed him hard.Their cocks were brushing, causing tingles of pleasure to spread through Damen’s body and the longer it went on, the more he wanted friction and pressure and rhythm, but he’d promised slow, so he let Laurent stay on top, knowing the only way he could control himself was by relinquishing control.

Letting out a shaky breath, Damen murmured, “I need you to move at some point.”

“I thought I was supposed to be begging.”

“Oh, you will be.”

“I’m not convinced,” Laurent said, eyes sparkling.This was part of the game they played.Both of them were perfectly aware that Damen was more than capable of making Laurent beg.He’d done it countless times before.But there was something about issuing a challenge that always made it better.

Laurent locked eyes with him and then ground down, in one confident thrust.Then again and again and again, but not in any recognizable rhythm.Damen brought him down for a kiss and when Laurent slipped his tongue into Damen’s mouth, Damen puckered his lips around it and moved his head back and forth, imitating the rhythm he wished Laurent was moving at.It only made Laurent laugh and move to bite his neck.

Hands slid, bodies moved in tandem, and the heat built and built, until Damen flipped Laurent over and licked and sucked and bit all the way down his chest, ending at the dip in his hipbone, staying there, leaving a mark on each side.Laurent’s cock was brushing his cheek and Damen could feel him raising his hips.Pressing them down into the bed, Damen let Laurent’s cock brush across his face and then he kissed the tip, licking away the pre-come.He remained focused there, swirling his tongue and keeping his rhythm as unfocused as Laurent’s had been.Laurent’s was trying to push his head down, but he was no match and Damen was wringing whimpering moans from his mouth.Damen knew exactly what to do now to make Laurent beg.He removed himself from Laurent’s cock and kissed him senseless, while reaching for oil in the drawer of the nightstand.It took some fumbling, but then he had it, coated his fingers, and moved back down Laurent’s body with more bites and kisses, keeping a majority of them on Laurent’s lower half.

Then, carefully, he inserted a finger into Laurent, while sliding his mouth up and down the side of Laurent’s cock.The moans were no longer breathless, but full and loud.Damen added another finger and then curled them, keeping everything slow and calculated.Sliding off of Laurent’s cock, Damen glanced up and saw his eyes closed, mouth open, and face flushed.

When Damen inserted a third finger, Laurent started writhing and he groaned, “Damn it, Damen, fuck me.”

Damen smiled.“I believe begging requires one word specifically.”

With difficulty, Laurent remained silent, biting his lip hard.Laughing, Damen took Laurent’s cock in his mouth and hummed around it as he slid down.“Fuck,” Laurent said, “Damen, please.Please.”

“That would be the word.”

“Don’t be an ass.”

Damen slid oil along his cock, fucking into his hand, and then entered Laurent gradually, until their hips were flush.With incredible patience, Damen rolled his hips significantly slower than his heartbeat.Laurent grabbed his neck and pulled him into a kiss, moaning into his mouth.“Fuck, Laurent, you feel so good,” Damen murmured, punctuating every other word with a roll of his hips.

Damen came only beats after Laurent did and he rolled to the side, so he wouldn’t crush Laurent.They laid there breathing and when Damen could feel his body again, he slumped across Laurent’s body and licked the come from his stomach.

“I’m not going to do that to you,” Laurent said.

“I know.”

“I’ll get you a towel.”

“No, don’t worry about it,” Damen replied, tugging Laurent toward him.He tensed for a moment, but then relaxed and kissed Damen lazily. “I’m getting better at this.”

“Five years later.”

Laurent slapped him on the chest.Silence spread between them and Damen whispered, “I’m sorry.I shouldn’t joke about that.”

“It’s alright.”

“I know you feel that way, but I still shouldn’t.”

Laurent smiled.“I’m still falling in love with you, too,” he murmured.“Five years later.”There was an even longer pause and Damen could tell Laurent was thinking hard about something.There was a crinkle in his forehead and he wasn’t paying any attention to Damen running kisses up and down the side of his face.

“What is it?”

“I’m not better at everything,” Laurent said.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m beginning to think it’s starting to matter,” Laurent answered vaguely.“But, for some reason, I can’t imagine…” he trailed off and dug his face into Damen’s neck.It was something important then.Prodding Laurent’s face back out with his chin, Damen ran a finger down his cheek.

“Talk to me.”

“Augustine and Phaedrus.They do know, don’t they?Please tell me they know.”

Gradually, Damen put the pieces together and his heart hurt.Five years later and Damen still found himself desperate to find something important to a dead man and destroy it.“They know you love them, Laurent, I promise.And I tell them enough for the both of us.”

“They’re just children.How could they possibly know?”

Damen rolled his eyes.“They’re perceptive and intelligent, just like I imagine you were.They know.But, you could tell them, you know, if it would make you feel better.Nothing bad will happen.They won’t disappear into smoke, nobody will laugh at you, and they won’t pay attention long enough to act surprised.It’s not a weakness or an indignity.”

“My mouth doesn’t like those words.”

“You can always practice on me,” Damen said.

“You’re easy.”Damen raised his eyebrows at Laurent.“Fine.Easier.”

“Then practice on Nikandros.”

Laurent scrunched his nose and shook his head.“I will never tell him that.Not ever.Not even for practice.”

Damen laughed.“We have the afternoon,” he began, thoughtfully, “We could go and visit them.It’s been awhile.”

“A day?Are you that dependent on Nikandros?”

“It’s been weeks since we’ve had a proper conversation.”

Laurent shrugged.“Whatever you want.Although, I would point out I was promised a nap.”

“You were.You did nap in the bath.”Laurent shot him a look that said that wasn’t nearly enough.“Okay,” Damen continued, “I’ll go and visit them and you nap.”

“You promised you would nap with me.”

“Are you moping?”

“No,” Laurent growled.Damen didn’t break eye contact with Laurent and finally, he caved.“Oh, very well.I suppose napping is a solitary activity.Say hello to Jord and Nikandros for me.Make sure you’re back before the children are.”

“I’ll do my best,” Damen said, pecking Laurent on the lips.He tried to slide out from underneath Laurent’s body, but Laurent held him strong.It wasn’t that Damen couldn’t break out, but that he wouldn’t.There was a reason Laurent was holding him captive. 

“Stay with me until I fall asleep.It shouldn’t take too long.”

“I’ll just wake you up when I leave.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

Damen nodded and settled back into the pillows, pulling Laurent on top of him.Laurent got comfortable, slinging one arm across Damen’s waist.His mouth was directly on Damen’s still-sensitive skin and when he mumbled, “Almost comfortable,” Damen shivered from the brush of his lips.Gently, Damen began to brush his fingers through Laurent’s hair.‘Almost comfortable’ was Laurent’s way of asking for it.

Laurent hadn’t been exaggerating.Almost instantly, he was asleep.Damen waited a little longer, making sure the sleep was deep, and then he peeled Laurent’s arm from his waist and cautiously wriggled out from underneath him, keeping his eyes on his face the entire time, searching for signs of waking.There were none. 

It had been the one good thing about the lack of sleep they’d had for the past couple years.Laurent was too exhausted to get nightmares.Damen hoped they never returned.

He strolled to Nikandros and Jord’s room and knocked.Jord opened it, yawning and waved Damen in.Nikandros was half asleep on the bed, but when he saw Damen he sat up in a rush and exclaimed, “Damen!Back from the war?”

“I’m not battling my own children, Nikandros.”

Jord pointed at Damen expressively and then turned excitedly to Nikandros.“What did you owe me again?”

“Fifty push-ups while you sat on my back,” Nikandros groaned.“Can I do them later?I might collapse if I did them now.”

“I don’t know, it seems like I should be able to ask for my payment whenever I’d like,” Jord said.He laughed when Nikandros paled.“Later,” he amended, turning back to Damen. 

“What was that about?” Damen asked.

“Oh, Nikandros noticed a couple of weeks ago that Phaedrus had started calling you and Laurent ‘daddy’ and he bet me that you were both slightly uncomfortable with that.But then you come in here and said ‘children’ which means you’re not.”

Something dawned on Nikandros and he said, “Ah, but is Laurent?” 

Jord shook his head.“He would’ve asked Phaedrus to stop if it really disturbed him.He’s not the type to suffer something out of politeness, even when it comes to children.Remember when he told Phaedrus his actual father is dead and that he killed him?Admittedly, he was upset about something, but…”

“I do remember that,” Nikandros replied, “Even Damen couldn’t salvage that one.”

“I did, actually,” Damen said, “But it took me most of the night.”

“Where is Laurent?” Jord asked.

“Sleeping.”

“The lucky bastard,” Nikandros said.“I want to be sleeping right now.”

Damen gestured back towards the door and said, “I can leave if you want.It had just been a while, so I thought…”

“Stay,” Jord said, pulling out a chair.“We have plenty of time to sleep later.Nik is just being dramatic, as usual.

“And you love it,” Nikandros said.

Jord smiled fondly.“I’m not sure I love it, but I do love you.”

And then they settled in for the afternoon.Jord asked about Phaedrus and Augustine, two topics Damen was more than happy to talk about for hours, and Nikandros had to interrupt halfway through and suggest they talk about something he’d care about.So they moved on to the topic of training new guards and soldiers.While Nikandros was talking about it, it was easy to tell that Jord had heard it all before, but he listened nonetheless, adding comments every once in a while that illustrated something Nikandros forgot to add this time around.Every time, it earned him a glowing smile from Nikandros.

Lastly, they talked about the ball Laurent was throwing for the five-year anniversary of Verlos. It was only a week away now.Nikandros began by saying, “Do Jord and I really have to come?”

Damen nodded.“If I have to go, you do.You don’t have to stay the entire time, just long enough that people know you were there.”

“There will be alcohol,” Nikandros verified.

“Yes.”

“I suppose I can handle it then.”

“Are you going to dance with me?” Jord asked, resting his hand on Nikandros’ thigh.

“If I’m drunk, you’ll be able to get me to do anything.”

“I’d love to get Laurent to dance with me,” Damen sighed.

Nikandros burst into laughter.“Good luck with that, my friend.”

It was hard to argue with Nikandros.Over the years, Laurent had gotten better at showing genuine affection around others, but dancing was something else.At a ball, it would be very public, it wasn’t typical to see two men dancing, and Damen was terrible at it.Laurent had had formal training and he had certain expectations.Abject public humiliation was not one of them.But Damen was still determined.Wouldn’t it be rude not to dance at their own ball?

Jord and Nikandros laughed at Damen for a while longer and then Damen excused himself, returning to Laurent.When he entered their rooms, Laurent was still asleep and Jokaste and the children weren’t back yet.Damen kicked off his boots and crawled back into bed.There was a small mewling noise from Laurent and Damen’s heart skipped a beat.

Blue eyes blinked open briefly and there was a mumbled, “You’re back,” before Laurent was flinging limbs across his body, snuggling his face into Damen’s neck.Laughing softly, Damen allowed it, brushing the knuckles of Laurent’s hand with his thumbs.

“How were Jord and Nikandros?” Laurent slurred into his neck.

“Well.They still don’t want to go to the ball.”

“Party.Too bad.”

“That’s what I told them.Are we still letting Phaedrus and Augustine come?”

Laurent hummed in assent.“Augustine is too excited about that dress.Not for long, though.The ball is late.They’ll be tired.”Laurent started spraying random kisses on Damen’s neck.Then, “You smell good.”

“Not quite awake yet, are you?” Damen laughed.

“Not so loud.”

There were crashing steps out in the hall and then high-pitched screams.Damen distinctly heard Jokaste’s voice give an order and then the crashing and screaming stopped.“Here they come,” Damen said.Laurent groaned and dug his face deeper into Damen’s neck.

“I’m going to pretend I’m asleep.”

“That won’t work.”

“I’m willing to try.”

Damen smiled and gripped the back of Laurent’s neck with his hand.“I love you,” he murmured.

“Love you, too.”

Then the door was flung open and there were shouts of “Daddy!”.Augustine in particular had something to say and she poked Damen in the side over and over again, saying, “Daddy, Daddy, Mommy let me pick the colors for the ball.I picked green and purple.Lots and lots of purple.Brother wanted blue, but blue is gross.”

That brought Laurent out of Damen’s neck.With horror, he stared at Jokaste.Her hand was over her mouth, stifling her laughter, but she shook her head at Laurent imperceptibly.She mouthed over the children’s head _white and gold_.

 

Two days later, Damen was woken earlier than he’d like.He was sure it was Augustine or Phaedrus, but when he opened his eyes, it was Laurent shaking him none-too-gently.In a flash, Damen was sitting up and he gasped, “What?What is it?”

“Relax,” Laurent replied.Now it was easy to recognize the urgency as excitement and Damen fell back into the bed, hitting Laurent in the leg.

“Don’t scare me like that.”

“Don’t assume the worst.”

“Why did you wake me?”

Laurent smiled and tugged persistently on Damen’s hand, clearly trying to get him out of bed.What Damen wanted most was an explanation, but he knew he wasn’t going to get one, so he stood, ruffled a hand through his hair, and padded across the room after Laurent.

Yawning, he stood in front of the window and said, “What am I looking at?”

“Sometimes I get tricked into thinking you’re not an idiot and then you say things like that.Look, Damen.”

“You could just tell me,” Damen sighed, glancing back out the window.And then he saw what he’d missed before in his sleep-induced haze.There was a dusting of white on the ground and the roofs and small white flakes were floating down from the sky.It was wispy and the wind blurred them together, but it was still beautiful.Damen simply stood there for a moment, mouth agape. 

“Now you’ve seen snow,” Laurent whispered, tucking himself under Damen’s arm.

“It’s beautiful,” Damen murmured.“I’m also freezing.”

“Want to go outside?”

“Did I mention I was freezing?”

“Put on some clothes, then.I’ll go wake Augustine and Phaedrus while you do that.We’ll take them with us.” 

“I don’t think I said that I wanted to,” Damen said.

“I want to.”

“You say that like it changes something.”

“I know it does,” Laurent said, extending on his tiptoes to kiss Damen’s cheek.Damen briefly considered saying it didn’t, just to maintain some level of dignity, but he knew Laurent wouldn’t believe it for a moment.He would just laugh, not even glancing back to verify that it was a lie.

Sighing, Damen dug around for clothes that would keep him warm.They would certainly have to be a Veretian style.Before he’d finished lacing up his jacket, Laurent was back, Phaedrus and Augustine streaming before him and sprinting straight for the window.Phaedrus was able to look through standing on the very tips of toes, but Augustine couldn’t and she kept trying to pull Phaedrus down, because if she couldn’t see, he shouldn’t be able to either.But then Laurent was there and he lifted her up in his arms, whispering something in her ear that made her giggle.

“Goddammit,” Damen mumbled, fumbling with the laces at the back of the neck.This was something he still wasn’t capable of doing by himself.Laurent turned his head and then laughed. 

“Look, your father can’t put his own clothes on.”

Augustine and Phaedrus laughed happily, but quickly turned back to the falling snow.

Laurent put Augustine on the windowsill and placed her hand against the edge.“If you fall, it will hurt,” he said, kissing the back of her head and then strolling over to Damen.

“Need help, lover?”

Damen grumbled to himself and surrendered the laces to Laurent’s delicate fingers.“Is this even going to keep me warm?”

“I’ve having something brought to us that will help,” Laurent replied, tying a bow and then kissing the lobe of Damen’s ear. 

“Daddy!” Phaedrus yelled, “It’s snowing harder!”

A child-like light entered Laurent’s eyes and he hurried to the window, placing his hands on Augustine’s waist to steady her and he nodded at her excited pointing.There was a knock on the door and with a large grin, Damen went to answer it.A servant was holding a bundle of furs in her hands and quietly she slipped them to Damen, murmuring “Your Highness”.Accepting them, Damen turned his grin on her and then shut the door, dumping the furs on the bed.

“Shall we go outside?” Damen asked, when he stepped up behind the window.

“Yes, yes, yes,” Phaedrus said.

“There are fur cloaks on the bed.Find one that fits you.”

Laurent helped Augustine down from the window and turned to watch the children run to the bed and fumble through the heavy cloaks, one of them falling on top of Phaedrus.He walked around blindly for awhile, and then sweetly, Augustine attempted to help him out from underneath it, giggling all the while.

Slumping against Damen’s side, Laurent murmured, “I could stand here all day.”

“I didn’t know you loved the snow this much.”

“Every year, on the first snow of the year, Auguste and I would skip all of our duties for the day and build snowmen and have snowball fights.My father allowed it because he knew he couldn’t stop us, but he was always grumpy when he saw snow.”

“I wish he were here,” Damen said truthfully.They both knew he was talking about Auguste and not Laurent’s father.

“So do I.He would love them,” Laurent murmured, as they watched Augustine and Phaedrus fight over which fur cloak was better.

“It’s hard not to.”

Phaedrus wrenched the cloak they were fighting for out of Augustine’s hands and then she began to cry.Laurent sighed and said, “Except when they do that.Handle it, would you?”

“Isn’t your turn?”

“You’re much better at it than I am.”

“No, I’m not.” Damen said.

Laurent shrugged.“I’d prefer to leave it to you.It’s the reason I’ve kept you around for five years.”

The crying was growing louder and Damen sidelined the conversation to go and sort out the fight.It took a fair amount of consoling and demanded apologies and then a suitable compromise.While Damen handled that, Laurent flung a fur cloak over his shoulders and tied it in front of the mirror.Then he started braiding his hair and Damen came over to complete the bottom half of it, something he was endlessly better at these days.Almost as good as Laurent.

Crouching down, Laurent motioned for Augustine and Phaedrus to come to him.They did and he carefully pinned their cloaks closed and then situated them evenly on their tiny shoulders.Then he kissed both of them on the forehead and stood, waving them towards the door.Laughing and holding hands, they scurried there and waited impatiently for their fathers to follow them.Damen swung his own cloak over his shoulders and allowed Laurent to pin it for him.Clasping a hand around Damen’s neck, Laurent drew him down for a quick kiss.

Then the four of them walked through the castle and out the front doors. 

The snow had indeed picked up in pace and size.Suddenly, Damen understood what the fuss was about.The ground was an incredibly pure white and when they stepped outside, the silence that surrounded them was different than any silence Damen had ever been a part of.It had a presence, but in a peaceful way.It wasn’t begging for attention; it just was.

There were flakes everywhere.Tons in Laurent’s hair.He was sure there were plenty in his, as well.Phaedrus and Augustine automatically ran off, tasting and touching and packing the snow.Then they tried to catch snowflakes with their tongues.

Damen approached them and said, “How many have you caught?”

Phaedrus held up four fingers and said, “Three!”

“Four,” Augustine said proudly, before scrunching her nose and thinking.Damen knew she was trying to count. 

“Think you can beat me?” Damen asked.

Phaedrus nodded vigorously and then Damen was trying to catch flakes on his tongue as well.When he took a small break to work the kinks from his neck, he flashed a grin at Laurent, who was crouching down and packing the snow into balls.Laurent smiled back at him and then threw one of the balls straight at Damen’s face.

Damen swerved just in time and laughed.“Missed me,” he jeered, crouching down himself and packing his own ball.He waited until Laurent’s attention was split between him and grabbing one of the snowballs he’d already rolled and then Damen threw, stepping into it.It hit Laurent solidly in the leg, darkening the fabric.

Laurent threw his just after Damen and it hit Damen in the jaw.He laughed uproariously and then Damen was chasing him and Laurent was running away, throwing the snowballs he’d managed to gather into his arms as he did.Damen couldn’t dodge all of them, but then Laurent was on the ground and Damen was straddling his lap and shoveling snow into his face.

When Laurent had time to breathe, his spit into Damen’s face, which made Damen recoil, and then he was the one on the ground with Laurent straddling his hips.Slowly, Laurent gathered snow and then lathered it into his face, grinning the entire time.Unable to help himself, Damen grinned back through the burning chill of his skin. 

“You’re dripping,” Laurent murmured, before bending down and licking the melting snow from Damen’s face.

“Stop being gross, Daddy,” Augustine said, smashing snow into the side of his face.

Damen laughed and pushed Laurent off of him.He brushed off the snow he could and then said, “Turns out the cloak doesn’t do much if you lie down in the snow.”Everything was extremely cold and wet. 

“No, it doesn’t,” Laurent said, grimacing slightly.

The snow was still falling slowly around them and Damen smiled as he brushed the flakes from Laurent’s hair.“You look so goddamn beautiful right now.”

“Children, Damen.”

“You look very beautiful.Pretend Daddy hadn’t spoken before this.”

Augustine and Phaedrus watched them with large eyes and then Phaedrus said, “How much do you love each other?”

“Very much,” Damen replied.Laurent nodded.

“How much do you love us?”

Damen knelt on the ground, inhaling sharply as knee dipped into the snow.He flicked his eyes between the two of them and said, “More than anything.” 

That seemed to satisfy Phaedrus.Laurent, however, was still grimacing and it was no longer because of the cold.Slowly he sank to his knees and gathered Phaedrus and Augustine into his arms.They wriggled but he held them tight until they were laughing and then into each of their ears he whispered, “I love you more than anything, too.”

Then he began to tickle them and they sprang away, running to Damen and clutching his legs.“Oh, I’m not safe, either,” he said and bent down to tickle them as well.Eventually, they all ended up in the snow again, breathing hard and laughing helplessly, flakes landing on bare skin.

 

Another two days passed and then it was the evening of the party.Everyone was in Damen and Laurent’s rooms.Nikandros and Jord were lacing each other into Veretian-style clothing, Nikandros mostly plucking at the fabric tight against his skin morosely.Jokaste was brushing Augustine’s hair and plaiting it.Phaedrus was sitting on the ground and watching, already dressed and ready to go.Beside Damen, Laurent was tying his hair half up.

Damen was ready and he took the time to observe his family.They were all nervously excited for the night and undeniably happy.He was confident it couldn’t last.Either Phaedrus or Augustine or both would be crying halfway through the night, Nikandros would get drunk and pick a fight with someone, Laurent would grow tired from the large number of people, and Jord had very little interest in coming in the first place, but it didn’t matter.They were happy now.

 

They all entered the party together, Laurent and Damen holding Augustine and Phaedrus’ hands, their names announced by a herald.The crowds chattering loudly and drinking heartily all paused in their conversations to watch the royal family enter.Delegates from both Vask and Patras were in attendance, as were select members of the army and nobles from across Verlos.Laurent gave a quick and to the point speech while he had everyone’s attention, thanking them for coming and briefly discussing Verlos and the significance of the party.Jokaste left to talk to a noble she’d been courting for some time and Jord and Nikandros left to find alcohol.Laurent and Damen circled the room, chatting politely and showing off Augustine and Phaedrus who asked too many questions and prodded and poked curiously.Not that anyone minded.They were as beautiful to their people as they were to Damen.

There were twin thrones at the head of the floor and Laurent and Damen eventually sat, Jokaste having picked up Phaedrus and Augustine and escorting them back to their rooms.That was when the music started and people began coupling off and dancing. 

The room was beautiful.The gold and white was perfect, matching Laurent’s coloring, something Damen knew Jokaste had likely done on purpose.She knew just how much Damen adored it.The couples were glittering as they moved and the alcohol Damen was drinking made everything slightly fuzzier and warmer than it would be normally.Laurent sprawled in the throne beside him and was watching the dancing as well, his eyes bright.When he flicked his eyes to Damen, Damen grinned stupidly.His chest felt too small to hold everything he was feeling.He and Laurent were hosting a ball, celebrating the country they had made, surrounded by people they enjoyed, and the worst thing happening was small skirmishes with a few Vaskian mountain clans.They had done this and it had worked and Damen had never felt more sure that it was going to last.For the rest of his life, he would be allowed this.Damen had no idea what he’d done to deserve it.

Swallowing another sip of wine, Damen handed his glass off to a servant and stood, holding his hand out to Laurent.

“You can’t seriously expect that I’ll dance with you,” Laurent said.

“It’s our ball.We should.”

“Party, and I’m not dancing.You already know this.”

“Jord and Nikandros are.”And they were.It was abysmal, so much so that Damen had to struggle not to laugh, but they appeared to be having fun.Nikandros, especially.Although, it was possible that had a lot more to do with how drunk he was. 

Laurent simply stared at him.

“I can stand here all night.”

“And you’ll look incredibly stupid.I’ll laugh along with everyone else.”

“I can’t say I understand your aversion, but I will say this: everyone already knows we’re fucking, Laurent.”

Laurent burst into laughter, handing his glass over to a servant so that he didn’t spill it all over himself.When he finished, he stood and took Damen’s hand.“We will never speak of this,” he said. 

Miraculously, they were on the dance floor and Damen was holding Laurent and they were waltzing.At least, Laurent was.Damen wasn’t quite sure what he was supposed to be doing, but Laurent was patient and allowed for mistakes, correcting Damen with a soft word.Damen knew people were watching, but he could care less.This moment was too important.He deserved to cherish it.

Eventually, Damen was able to stumble through the waltz and they did, Laurent looking into his eyes and smiling softly. 

“Not as horrible as you imagined?”

“I should’ve known better,” Laurent admitted, “Everything is easy with you.”

“Are you happy?”It sounded as though he were asking about this very moment, this dance, but he wasn’t and Laurent knew he wasn’t.

“Very happy.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Kings Reign (Fanart)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8411311) by [lamenart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamenart/pseuds/lamenart)




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